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 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

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ringing the

Wedding Bells It’s time! Your beloved has proposed, and you’re overwhelmed with joy—and just overwhelmed in general. The engagement ring on your left hand puts butterflies in your stomach and the to-do list in your right hand puts adrenaline in your veins. You’re getting married! But you’ve got to plan a wedding. Never fear: we’re here to help. In the second annual edition of Bride-to-Be Magazine, we bring you articles full of information to guide you through the highs and lows of nuptial planning. With our help, you can plan a unique but meaningful wedding without bankrupting your parents or yourself.

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

In these pages, you’ll discover tips for finding a unique dress to complement your personality and advice about how to pinch a few pennies so you can still pay rent after saying, “I do.” We’ve also included a funny wedding story, just to lighten the mood, and local photographer Ken Andrus offers inside information about how to get the best images from your special day. We even suggest practical and perfect places for your ceremony, reception and, perhaps, your honeymoon. For mothers of the bride, Leigh Ann Northcutt has written a piece about her experience planning her daughter’s wedding, and she gives advice about the best way to enjoy it with your little girl. And we haven’t forgotten the men, of course. Guys who might be saving up for diamond rings will enjoy Peter Northcutt’s article about creative—and outrageous—proposal ideas. Robert Valentine has also written advice for grooms to help them survive their own weddings without suffering permanent scars, and he has penned a nice piece about wedding toasts that will help anyone deliver an eloquent reception speech. These are just a few of the articles you’ll find in the 2016 magazine. Enjoy perusing, and good luck with your planning. Remember, a wedding doesn’t have to be taxing. Just calm down, get organized and smile. You’re marrying the love of your life! In the end, that’s all that matters. Bride to Be is just here to help with the details. Congratulations!

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 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

The Single Man’s Guide to

Marriage Proposals Article by: Peter Northcutt Photography by: Bailey & B Photography

ot long ago, proposals were just that–proposals. All that was required of a guy was a ring, a question and maybe a knee bend. But this is 2016. The government won’t even recognize a marriage until the proposal video gets a thousand hits on YouTube.

ring onto a puppy’s collar, and even perfect strangers will melt into your arms.

Fellas, this means those little ladies of yours are expecting more from you now than ever. Have no fear, though. I have compiled a list of the best classic proposals for you and have updated them to be even more awesome. Any one of these should do the trick.

Classic Version: Place the wedding ring in a particularly sentimental food, like the kind of ice cream you ate on your first date.

THE FIRST ENCOUNTER Classic Version: Make that bar where you met even more special with a simple, heart-felt proposal.

Awesome Version: 300 puppies.

CHOKING HAZARD

Ladies love puppies. That’s a scientific fact.

Awesome Version: Hire a dance duo to reenact the moment you met using interpretive movement set to T-Pain’s epic love song, “Buy U a Drank.” Ask her the question through an auto-tuned microphone.

ANIMAL LOVERS Classic Version: Ladies love puppies. That’s a scientific fact. Clip the engagement

Awesome Version: Bury the wedding ring in a tub of ice cream. When she unknowingly gulps down the diamond and starts to choke, you can heroically save her life. Make sure you have something memorable to say when she regains her composure, like, “Hey girl, let me save your heart just like I just saved your esophagus.

Marry me?”

NEW YEARS EVE Classic Version: Propose to her as the ball drops in New York City. Awesome Version: Propose to her on top of the ball as it drops in New York City.

CAUGHT IN THE RAIN Classic Version: Pop the question in the rain. As we all know, few things are more romantic than spontaneity and precipitation. Awesome Version: If a positive correlation exists between romanticism and inclement weather— as I presume it does—then the hurricane simulator in the mall is the perfect place for your proposal.

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

GEOGRAPHIC PHENOMENA Classic Version: Propose in front of a waterfall, because the only thing more romantic than water falling on you is water falling beside you. Awesome Version: Propose inside a volcano, because the only thing more romantic than water falling beside you is a pool of molten hot lava.

GET IN THE GAME Classic Version: If she likes sports, take her to see her favorite team play and propose at halftime on the Jumbotron. Awesome Version: Buy her favorite sports franchise and rename it after her. Then, after you have signed all her friends and recreated her high school JV basketball team, propose at halftime on the Jumbotron.

SCAVENGER HUNT Classic Version: Plant cute clues and riddles for her to find that lead straight to you on bended knee.

says, “Yes.” After she accepts your offer, passionately make out as you slowly drift to the ground, your plane crashing into a heart-shaped cornfield below. In the era of outlandish marriage proposals, these are your best shots to keep up. You also should start saving money if you haven’t already. Some of those can get pricey. Or, instead, you can realize the true significance of a proposal. You can stop over-thinking and just ask the question you’ve been dying to pose. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be creative and thoughtful. If you want to rent out the Staples Center and watch “The Notebook” before proposing, then I think you should go for it. But, don’t let the periphery overshadow the biggest question you will ever ask in your life. No amount of puppies or ice cream will ever be as memorable to your girl than her fiancé kneeling and asking for her hand in marriage. But, then again, puppies and ice cream wouldn’t hurt. 

Awesome Version: Get some friends together and have them kidnap your girlfriend’s parents without telling anyone. Plant fun, quirky clues about how to find them. The two of you work together to save her parents from imminent doom. Don’t worry if she becomes hysterical over the possibility of losing her parents; those emotions will pale in comparison to the romance she will feel when you save the day. Just ask James Bond.

WRITINGS IN THE SKY Classic Version: Hire one of those crop duster airplanes to write your proposal in the sky. Awesome Version: Spend years earning your pilot’s license. Take your lady up in the plane and write the proposal in the sky. Fake an engine failure and eject the both of you out of the plane. As you fall to Earth, ask your lady look up and read the proposal. Tell her you won’t pull the parachute until she

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the

BesttoPlace be

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

Article by: Paige Graves, with Robert Valentine Photo by: Bailey & B Photography

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eddings. Whether you're planning your own through Pinterest or browsing stacks of bridal magazines, there are many facets to what some have called “the most important day of your life.”

While weddings have traditionally been held in churches, this region provides a variety of different venues to make your wedding even more special. Everyone has a very personal image of the perfect place, so what’s yours?

WEDLOCK ON THE WATER Kentucky Lake is more than just the largest geographic feature of the region: it also has several locations that provide beautiful settings for ceremonies as well as lodging and dining for guests. Your first step is to decide upon the park or public site that interests you most. Beach-side and shipboard ceremonies aren't out of reach for the bride and groom hoping for a destination wedding. Sure: Cancun or Tahiti or Key West would be memorable, but so would the down payment on your first house (which would be spent on travel, lodging and dining in those exotic locales). Remember, too, that the beauty and romance of an outdoor wedding can be ruined by capricious turns of weather. Both Kentucky and Tennessee state resort parks can provide alternate indoor options only a few steps away.

A venue can play a large part in answering all your other questions.

RESORT RECEPTIONS When deciding on your menu, keep in mind that most commercial venues (like state resort parks) permit only food prepared by the park in the facilities or at outdoor receptions planned by the park. In the lakes region, there's no need to have the reception in a recreation center or a gym. Here, there’s the option to have a rehearsal dinner in a place with large windows to let the afternoon sun illuminate the banquet room. Whether it’s Kenlake, Barkley, Kentucky Dam Village or Paris Landing, the facilities are lovely – and air conditioned, too. And don’t forget the convenience lodges and cottages that may add to the enjoyment of friends and family who

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have come from afar. After the bride and groom zoom off to the honeymoon destination, guests may take an extra week to enjoy the recreational bounty of the Lakes Region—or just sleep in for a day or two with a handy restaurant and the luxury of maid service. Whether you're hoping for an outdoor wedding or just a change of scenery, the lakes region offers the experience and the memories in one great place. Visit http://parks.ky.gov/parks/resortparks and http://www.tn.gov/environment/parks.

IN THE HEART OF JACKSON’S PURCHASE . . . Couples have also been known to hold their wedding ceremonies at the Murray State University Arboretum. Here, a happy couple and their guests can enjoy the distinct areas of the Arboretum, including the Open Woodlands, the Oak and Hickory Forest, and Savanna, as well as the Display and Community Gardens. Some guests to the Arboretum even have the option of renting tents, tables and chairs, which eliminates the need for an outside source. This is a venue best suited for smaller wedding ceremonies to minimize the human impact on nature. Located on Pullen Farm at the university, the gardens hold more than two miles of pathways for guests to enjoy— and, perhaps, to serve as a site for a wedding ceremony itself.

Robert O. Miller Conference Center

Lovett Auditorium Photo by: KC Photography

Not too far away, the university campus provides more opportunities for weddings in historical buildings. Lovett Auditorium has become a favorite for Murray State students who couldn't imagine getting married anywhere but the place in which they met their significant others. The classic theater in Lovett, built as one of the four original buildings on campus, holds rows of theater-style seating and a stage perfect for the exchange of vows. Historic Wrather West Kentucky Museum has also housed ceremonies in the past but has recently been closed for weddings and related off-campus events. However, Pogue Library remains a popular place for wedding party photos, and the Murray Room of the CFSB Center is very popular for receptions: good food, plenty of parking, and a private atmosphere in which to make marvelous memories after the vows have been said.

Murray State University Arboretum Photo by: Makenzie Lynn Photography

SOMETHING OLD . . . . In Murray, at least three historic sites may attract you. A nearly 100-year-old postal building on Murray’s Court House Square now houses the Robert O. Miller Conference Center. The newly refurbished meeting facility is often the site of weddings. Frequently, couples will marry at one of the

Lakeside Wedding

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square’s churches (Baptist, Methodist and First Christian are the largest congregations) and then retire to the Miller Center for a reception in the vaulted conference room. Those who marry “on the square” may also head for the Maple Center, just across the street from the Miller Center, for a pleasant reception in the generous space on the second floor. And, although it is known as a convenient and well-appointed gathering spot, nothing prevents someone from tying the knot there, either. If you love history, you might also enjoy a trip across town to the restored 1908 L&N Freight Depot that is now home to Playhouse in the Park. The open-air deck provides shelter from sun or rain beneath the century-old roof that has seen soldiers ship out to two world wars and, more recently, has been home to hundreds of theatrical performances. In season, you’re surrounded by the sights and sounds of spring, summer, and fall, and there is ample parking for a big crowd of people prepared for an outdoor wedding to remember.

WHY WAIT? Photo by: Bailey & B Photography

There are several components to a wedding. What will the guests eat? What music do we play? Who will do the photography? If you've gotten as far as actually finding a suitable candidate for your bride or groom, that in itself is half the battle. A venue can, in fact, play a large part in answering all your other questions. So, if you're still wondering where your wedding will take place, don't be afraid to explore your options close to home and make a blissful memory. 

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

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 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

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here’s to

Wedding Toasts Article by: Robert Valentine

ason was having the time of his life at the rehearsal dinner. As the best man, he was in the center of everything. Everyone was happy, and the weather report for the next day was perfect. Then, the bride’s father clapped him on the back and said, “So! Are you all set for the toast at the reception? We’re all looking forward to it!” Then he seemed to disappear — just like Jason’s happy mood. Almost everyone (except Jason, of course) knows that the best man is supposed to offer a toast to the happy couple at the reception. Very few people know why, how it should be done and — more importantly — how it should NOT be done. Let’s correct all that.

Traditionally, the father of the bride rose to speak at the wedding dinner. This is because he was the host for the event, and he welcomed everyone to his home and to this very important celebration. Often, the wedding was the sign of some commercial or political union between two families, so good hospitality was essential. Then the groom, representing the “other” family and all the guests, would respond with thanks for the hospitality and praise for the bride’s family, the weather and so forth. At last, the best man would toast the new couple, signifying the support of the whole assembly for the new union. He was often someone trusted by both families, and his speech was full of hope for happy life in the new household.

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

Often, the father of the bride is not standing in his home during the wedding dinner, but in a church or public gathering place like a hotel ballroom or a restaurant. He can still welcome everyone, but modern dads prefer to keep silent for the most part. Some are still in shock.

The key elements of any toast should be appropriateness, sincerity and happiness.

IN DAYS OF YORE . . . .

BUT TODAY . . . .

If Dad is up to the challenge, it’s his job to start the program at the reception. When everyone is comfortable (or when the wedding planner so instructs), Dad should rise and thank everyone for joining the two families that day. It wouldn’t hurt to mention someone from each of the three groups (groom’s family, bride’s family and friends) who had made a long journey or who had made a particular sacrifice to be there. Dad should end by raising his glass and welcoming (on behalf of his wife, daughter, etc.) the groom’s family to this first day of the happy couple’s new life.

THE GROOM Grooms sometimes don’t speak at all, these days, but may often respond to the best man’s toast by thanking the assembly for their attendance and their support. Short, simple, honest and smiling are the best guides. If you’re going traditional, the groom should respond to the father’s toast with a sincere word of thanks on behalf of the groom’s family and of all the guests, and he should include in his thanks the gratitude of his new wife. It falls to the groom to thank those whose hard work made the event possible, paying specific attention the bride’s maids and groomsmen.

AND NOW, THE BEST MAN. People often expect the best man’s toast to combine Las Vegas standup with an episode of “Truth or Dare.” Prepare to disappoint them. The best man should certainly introduce himself and explain his relationship to both bride and groom. Since he is probably an old friend or relative of the groom, it is very appropriate to recall their early days together — without mentioning matters likely to alarm the bride’s grandparents. He can also mention how the two lovers met and his impressions (always favorable) of the bride’s beauty and personal charm. Finally, his toast is a warm one, wishing for peace and prosperity for the new couple and pledging the assembly’s support for their continued happiness. He should warn the audience with something like this: “And so, if you will please charge your glasses, I will now ask you to rise, if you are able, and join me in the first of many toasts we will share over the years to come: To the newly-minted Smith family and to our good friends, Jim and Judy. (In a louder voice, raising the glass) To Jim and Judy!”

AND FURTHERMORE . . . . Modern variations may permit responding toasts from the matron or maid of honor, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, one should remember a toast’s purpose is to express the sentiment of the assembly. It is NOT an opportunity for individuals to impose their views or their ideas of humor on an unsuspecting and innocent congregation. (See boxed text on “Humor.”) There is no ancient tradition of the bride responding to the toasts, but there is certainly no harm in it if the bride is prepared and willing to do so.

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The key elements of any toast should be appropriateness, sincerity and happiness. Toasters should include as many people as they can without making listeners feel left out of an inside joke. Chances are that many attendees will not know family histories or proclivities, and care should be taken to avoid making people feel like outsiders. Other key elements, often lacking, are sobriety and brevity. A best man often mistakenly believes his slight speech anxiety is best addressed with three or four good shots of distilled spirits before speaking. This is not a sound plan. If the bride can’t stand up without help, it might be best to postpone her toast until the tenth anniversary party. If Dad can’t soberly rise to the occasion, Mom should step in.

WHEN IN DOUBT . . . The toasts can be memorable parts of a life-changing day, but only if they are thoughtful and well prepared. Don’t worry about whether you are a five-star performer. A straightforward expression of your sincere wish, directed at two people for whom you have great love and respect, can hardly miss the mark. Many resources can provide examples and inspiration, but you must consult them as soon as you receive the charge to present a toast — not the night before. Whoever you are, remember the happy couple is listening. The bride and groom are relying on you to add to the wonder of this day as only you can. You know what to say, and you can do it. Here’s to you. 

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Humor Like a loaded pistol, humor should only be handled by people who know what they are doing. Modern standards of humor are a bit more tolerant than in previous generations. Just because you saw it on the Comedy Channel or on HBO doesn’t mean it is suitable for a wedding speech. The tendency of the best man to dredge up the most embarrassing moment in the groom’s life or to recall an incident involving both bride and groom that might best be left unshared with her mother, is a regrettable commonplace. When in doubt, run it past a grandparent or a clergyman. If you feel embarrassed to share it with them, you should probably keep it for the bachelor party, where such things are less likely to cancel the wedding. Remember: your job is to give a toast, not to replace Chris Rock or Amy Schumer.

In the United States, no two wedding ceremonies look just alike. You can have one in a church, a park or even a Las Vegas drive-through chapel. But, no matter where couples marry, they always seal the deal with a kiss. Even in courthouses—the most bare-bones of venues—brides and grooms always kiss. It’s tradition. But that’s the United States. Traditions vary from nation to nation, and countries around the world have developed their own ways to tie the knot. Take the quiz below and test your knowledge of global nuptials.

1. Hawaiian brides and grooms wear what item to symbolize their love for each other? a. Grass skirts b. Gold Bracelets c. Flower leis d. Coconut bras 2. In Japan, couples and their families sip a certain drink to symbolize their union. What drink do they sip? a. Green tea b. Sake c. Ouzo d. Water 3. During Eastern Orthodox weddings, what symbolizes unity? a. Two crowns joined by a white ribbon 26

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

b. A candle c. A family Bible d. A chain of gold links wound around the bride and groom 4. Indian brides walk down the aisle covered with what? a. Long, floor-length veils that obscures their faces b. Henna designs c. Gold paint d. Flowers 5. What German wedding custom is thought to bring luck to a couple’s marriage? a. The couple saws a log together b. The best man kidnaps the bride before the wedding

c. The couple carries family mementoes during the ceremony d. The family smashes porcelain dishes and kitchenware 6. Kenyan families practice the tradition of ‘lobola,’ which consists of what? a. An entire night of singing and dancing to celebrate the marriage b. Keeping the bride and groom apart during the month before the wedding. c. A bride price the groom pays to the bride’s family d. Each family member blessing the couple before the ceremonies proceed 7. An Orthodox Jewish bride and groom will take vows under what? a. A special canopy symbolizing their new home b. An arbor decorated with flowers c. A special synagogue archway reserved for weddings d. A veil draped over both the bride and groom 8. In a Hindu ceremony, the couple circles what four times to symbolize their transition into married life? a. A statue of the Hindu god Krishna b. A table full of food, representing abundance c. A sacred fire d. A statue of a child, which represents fertility 9. A Yemeni groom will carry what on his wedding day? a. A rose for his wife b. A golden sword c. A copy of the Koran d. A pocket watch 10. During Catholic ceremonies in Mexico, the groom gives the bride what? a. Two rosaries b. Eight jeweled rings c. Six consecutive kisses d. Thirteen gold coins (Answers on page 50) www.BrideToBeBook.com  The Bride-to-Be Book 

Say ‘Yes’ to a

Funky Dress Article by: Brianna Willis

hen it comes to a wedding, many people envision the bride in an elegant white dress. However, lately, more brides are opting to go in more unique and expressive directions. The days of strict tradition are coming to an end, and now women are choosing to express themselves not only through wedding themes or venues but also through their dresses. If opting for a more out-of-the-box dress suits you, here are some categories to consider when dress shopping.

The days of strict tradition are coming to an end...

THE COLOR If traditional white, ivory or champagne isn't the color for you, wedding dress designers have started venturing into new color palettes for the extraordinary bride. Blue

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seems to be a hot new trend for bridal dresses. From a light hue to a turquoise, it’s all the rage. If you’re going for different but you don’t want to send shock waves through your family, try looking at ombré style dresses or dresses with blue tulle underneath. This way, you can maintain tradition but still keep that pop of color you want on your special day.

THE STYLE

For many women, feeling like a Disney princess (or any princess) is a dream come true on their wedding day. However, you can exhibit a princess’s elegance and grace in a variety of styles; you don’t have to go with the traditional ball gown. According to THE KNOT Magazine, designers, such as Alfred Angelo, have created a line of dresses inspired by multiple princesses, utilizing styles such as mermaid cut, two piece dresses and intricate trains.

Photo by: Anne Lord Photography

If you want to break the mold style-wise, start by looking for unique cuts. Consider two-piece dresses and dresses with removable bottoms, which create high-low effects and instant reception dress. If you want to push the envelope even farther, white pantsuits are starting to emerge on the wedding dress market.

THE DESIGN Lace and beading have been popular trends. If you want to stand out in an expressive way, unique detailing might make your dress one of a kind. For example, Angelina Jolie made headlines when she got married this past summer. People Magazine did an exclusive story about how her gown was made.

Her veil and Versace dress included sewn-in drawings from each of her children. By incorporating details such as drawings, unique lace patterning or fringe, you can make your dress a hit. When it comes down to it, wedding dress shopping can seem tiresome. However, if a you let your identity shine, you can have fun and pick a dress perfect for you. If a you want to feel special, you may decide to go for an unorthodox look and make your wedding one to remember. From bold colors to intimate, hand-sewn details, any bride can feel beautiful on her wedding day. Happy shopping, brides!



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love and

Matri-MONEY: a guide to trimming your wedding budget Article by: Gisselle Hernandez

s young generations discover technology’s endless perks, many “bride-to-be’s” have been designing Pinterest wedding boards since age 14. They wish for that dream-board to come to life. Of course, those centerpieces in the perfect shades of turquoise and those five-tiered wedding cakes all add up in the end, which might result in blown budgets. Here are some ideas that can help you save, from food to décor, when planning the start of your happily-ever-after.

ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS As a bride-to-be, one can fall into unexpected traps when planning a wedding. “The key is to ask the right questions,” Angela Miller, of Ivory Grace Event Planning in Bowling Green, Ky., says.

When consulting with potential vendors, most brides never ask questions that could cut catering costs by half. Miller suggests asking about price differences for children, which could lower catering costs significantly.

CHOOSE THE VENUE CAREFULLY Selecting the right venue may also lower catering costs; certain venues require wedding parties to use their catering services, which might be more expensive than renting places that allow families to cater to their guests. Kayla Adams, bride-to-be from Murray, Ky., plans to cook food for her guests herself. When looking for venues to host her wedding, she made sure to ask if catering services were required. It’s one of the bigger decisions brides should mull over carefully. “We definitely took our time looking for [the venue],” Adams says. “It’s also a good idea to ask if the place comes with servers. This could save your family from having to clean up when [the reception] finishes.” One of the more common ways to stay within budget is to opt out of the typical Saturday wedding. According to TheKnot.com, this could help you get lower rates from vendors. They might agree to cheaper prices because they won’t have a lot of other business on off days.

DO YOU REAAAALLY NEED IT? When planning the “best day of your life,” you might expect to have just that — the best. However, it’s possible to eliminate a few, unessential details and still enjoy a gorgeous wedding. Skip the “Save the Date” notices. Formal invitations sent early enough can make up for the “Save the Date” card. Postage stamps and paper quality slowly add up with every mailed card. Depending on your guests, you can create a Facebook group or page instead of sending “Save the Date” cards. Adams, whose guest list contains many college students, says a “Save the Date” or even a formal 32

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invitation isn’t always necessary—unless you send them to older family and friends. Though Facebook, younger guests who are active online can even receive reminders when they click on your page’s “attending” button.

CHOOSING DÉCOR

Wedding favors are also unnecessary, albeit adorable, items. Pinterest might list hundreds of cute ways to remind guests of your love, but are they really needed? Sometimes, not all guests show up, so you may wind up with extra wedding favors, which would equal wasted money. As Adams amusingly says, “In reality, the free meal should be their wedding favor!”

“The longer they plan, the better off they are,” she says.

Photographers are definitely worth splurging, but they don’t always have to cost an arm and a leg. As a college town, Murray offers an alternative to hiring a high-end photographer. In its article, “How to Save Money on Your Wedding,” Real Simple Magazine suggests hiring a student majoring in photography. Of course, you should look at the student’s portfolio before hiring them, but the photos could look professional without hurting your pocket. As for the food, you don’t always need to go over the top. Serve finger foods and appetizers and satisfy guests while saving. For dessert, a nice, humble two-tiered cake will do just fine.

Angela Miller recommends you start planning as early as possible.

Planning way in advance gives you a great chance to collect all the decorations you need for much lower prices. For instance, if you begin planning a year before your wedding date, you can catch clearance racks and off-season sales. You’ll get to snatch some nice ribbons or lanterns that might otherwise be expensive during wedding season. Outside ceremonies also provide creative ways to save on décor. With blue skies and luscious trees, Adams says, you don’t need to decorate as much. Nature does it for you. You don’t have to spend the $17,000 ValuePenguin.com says Kentucky brides shell out for their weddings. These tips will help you create your Pinterest-inspired ceremony and reception on even the smallest of budgets. Just break a few rules so you don’t break your bank account. 

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live to burn your

Wedding Checklist: advice from one mother of the bride to another Article by: Leigh Ann Northcutt Photography by: Makenzie Lynn Photography

t’s been more than two years since I stood in our front yard on a beautiful day in September, surrounded by family and friends, and watched my oldest daughter marry her love in the delightful wedding ceremony we planned together. Do the words of that sentence convey peaceful, stress-free memories of that day? They do, don’t they?

If you find the right dress, you have won half the battle.

Do you see, peeking through the lines and phrases, ghastly, panicked memories of a sick and sobbing bride? Or 200 chairs that didn’t arrive until just before the ceremony? Or a malicious thunderstorm that hovered

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over western Kentucky for several days and then swooped down to attack the rehearsal and to threaten the wedding? I don’t either! That means I can now write about my daughter’s wedding. I stand behind a statement I made after my son got married. (I would stand behind it in a chicken suit if that would cause people to pay more attention.) On the day a woman decides to have children, she should hit her knees, lift her voice to Heaven and beseech — spelled capital B-E-G, exclamation point — God for boys. As the mother of the groom, there is a chance she will have enough physical, mental and emotional energy to survive the child’s

wedding preparations without melting into a puddle of pooped poverty. However, I have hope to offer mothers of daughters. As a girl, I didn’t grow up daydreaming about wedding ceremonies. As a college student and young bride, I was somewhat lackadaisical about planning my wedding and left many of the decisions to my own puddle-of-pooped mother. As the mother of two daughters, I hoped early-onset Alzheimers would set in before I had to plan their weddings. So I can say with confidence and credibility . . . If I can plan a wedding, anyone can do it! Let me tell you what I learned.

HAVE FUN In the war against wedding stress, have fun with your daughter whenever possible. When choosing music for the reception, dance. When shopping for wedding desserts, eat chocolate. When gathering for your nightly examination of Pinterest wedding pages, don your pajamas, microwave a bowl of popcorn and snuggle into the couch with your little girl.

THINK SMART Think twice and then think again before having an outside wedding at your house. The workload quadruples. The weather is another cause for worry. And storing the large quantities of burlap that will drape your yard will make your house smell like Budweiser horses have come to visit.

DRESS STRESS If you can find the right dress, you have won half the battle. When my daughter looked in the mirror and said, “I feel beautiful,” we knew we had found the right dress for her. I knew I had found the right dress for me when it met all my requirements. It covered all the imperfections between my neck and my knees. I could wear it and breathe at the same time. And it twirled! Every female, no matter her age, feels better in a dress that twirls.

CHOOSE SHOES THAT WON’T BRUISE Wearing new shoes for your daughter’s wedding will rub your heels raw causing you to dance like a wounded duck at the reception. If this happens, avoid the wedding videographer. Photo by: Bailey & B Photography

Leigh Ann and her daughter, Casey

EAT CAKE Boycott bakery owners who charge prospective brides to sample their products. If you are dealing with the stress of planning a wedding, you need more than cake to taste. You need free cake to taste. It’ll be the last thing you get free for a very long time.

LEAVE THE MEN ALONE Although your husband and sons may appear attentive to the wedding conversations, they have actually gone to the happy places in their heads. Just leave them there until it is time to escort somebody down an aisle.

LEAN ON FRIENDS Your friends will be there when you need them. Mine never left my side through the planning and preparation. On the day of the wedding, they cleaned my bathrooms, served food to our guests, wrapped all their arms around my daughter and told me I looked good in my twirly dress. Despite the hurdles my daughter and I jumped—and the ones we hit at a dead run—my experience as Mother of the Bride ended well for me. The wedding was lovely. I lived to write the story. A really good guy joined our family. My husband and I still speak. And my daughter, the most beautiful of all brides, will owe me for the rest of her life. 

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 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

Photo by: Bailey & B Photography

tips for a

Picture Perfect wedding day

Article & Photography by: Ken Andrus, Oakwood Studio

our wedding photography and cinema, or video, helps you remember your special day for years to come. They will become some of the most treasured possessions you’ll ever own— something to be shared with your children and your grandchildren. That is something special!

GO FOR THE ENGAGEMENT SESSION. This session will help you feel more comfortable in front of the camera and get to know your photographer better. The photographer will get a better sense of what flatters you and will get a feel for your best features.

you’d like photographed laid out and waiting for your photographer and videographer — a full invitation set, a piece of jewelry, a special memento from a late grandmother, etc.

Communication is the best key to getting what you desire from your photographer and videographer.

PLAN YOUR WEDDING DAY CAREFULLY. This is so important! Choose a room with natural light in which to get dressed. Some of the day’s key photos and video are taken here. If possible, choose a room with neutral colors. If details are important to you, have everything

GIVE YOURSELF PLENTY OF TIME. If photographs and video are important to you, build in as much time as possible for them. Generally speaking, the more time your photographer has with you, the better the photos he or she will produce. Talk to your photographer or videographer about how much time will be needed to do what you want.

CONSIDER DOING A “FIRST LOOK”. The moment before the ceremony when the bride and groom see each other for the first time on the wedding day can be such a touching, emotional memory. I completely respect those who want to wait and see their significant others at the end of the aisle, but if you and your intended don’t feel too strongly either way, I’d definitely consider doing a first look. That way, you can take care of the majority, if not all, of the formal posing before the ceremony and leave extra time for bride and groom portraits. And, when the ceremony is over, you won’t need to leave your family and friends to take photographs.

A SHOT LIST IS GREAT, BUT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE TOO DETAILED. (See formal shot on page 42) If your photographer is busy checking off a list of your favorite Pinterest shots, he will probably miss that image of the flower girl kissing the ring bearer. Instead, remember why you hired him or her and trust them to get some good, creative photos. Maybe just point out some of your 40

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

favorites to demonstrate the kind of work you like.

STILL, YOU DO NEED TO CREATE A FORMAL SHOT LIST. The photographer may not know you want a picture of Aunt Peggy from Portland with the bride and groom. Sometimes, delicate family relationships also need explanations. Perhaps, Aunt Peggy DOES NOT get along with Uncle Bob.

SHARE THE SHOT LIST WITH ALL THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. Once you’ve written that great shot list, share it with all the people involved. Email them a copy in advance, print out more copies for the wedding day and give copies to the photographer and wedding coordinator. Make sure all family and wedding party members know where to be, when to be there and what they should be wearing so people aren’t scrambling before and after the ceremony. On the wedding day, put someone who knows everyone in the wedding in charge of wrangling those scheduled for photographs. You could ask the wedding coordinator or a family member who isn’t shy.

COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR VIDEOGRAPHER AND PHOTOGRAPHER. Let them know you like the posed formals or you don’t care for this or that. And the details! If possible, work with your planner/venue/special helpers to set up the reception space as early as possible so your photographer can snap the details either before the ceremony or before guests have entered the space. Communication is the best key to getting the images you desire from your photographer and videographer. They, like all wedding vendors, try their hardest to be flexible, and they’ll do the best they can under any circumstances. But, if you can provide them with a great environment and good communication, they’ll probably produce optimal results. And THAT is what we call a win-win!  Ken Andrus is a photographer and cinematographer for Oakwood Studio and Drop D Films. When he is not filming, he is spending time with family or producing music at Stoney Brook Records. Contact Ken by email at oakwoodstudio@gmail.com.

www.BrideToBeBook.com  The Bride-to-Be Book 

Photo Shoots Checklist

Article & Photography by: Ken Andrus, Oakwood Studio

GETTING READY

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Bride's clothes hanging on the wardrobe, on the bedpost, or over a chair Bridesmaids doing bride's hair and makeup Bride and bridesmaids getting dressed, applying makeup  Mom helping bride with one last detail, such as veil  Full-length shot of bride in gown checking herself out in mirror  Detail of clothing, shoes, garter, something borrowed, something blue  Touching shot of bride with parent/s and/or stepparent/s Touching shot of bride with  sibling/s  Bride hugging honor attendant  Bride with bridesmaids  Bride with all the women  Groom getting ready with Dad and pals (tying the tie is a classic)  Touching shot of groom with parent/s and/or stepparent/s  Touching shot of groom with sibling/s Groom with his arm affectionately around best man Groom with all the groomsmen Groomsmen putting on boutonnieres or bowties Intimate shots of bride and groom chatting with/crying with/hugging parents and siblings preceremony  The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

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Dad whispering last-minute advice to groom Groom ready to go Bride ready to go Bride and groom separately making their way to the ceremony (in a limo backseat, hailing a cab, walking down the street/hall/stairs)

THE CEREMONY

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Guests streaming into the site Ushers escorting guests to their seats Ushers escorting moms to their seats Close-up of groom's adorably nervous mug waiting for his other half Bridesmaids and groomsmen walking down the aisle Flower girl and/or ring bearer entering Honor attendant walking down the aisle Grandparents walking down the aisle (Jewish wedding) Wedding party waiting at the altar Groom walking down the aisle Bride and Dad/escort/parents (Jewish wedding) walking down the aisle Close-up of bride just before she makes her entrance Bride and groom at the altar Altar or canopy from the back during ceremony Wide shot of audience during ceremony, from bride and groom's point of view Faces of bride and groom as they exchange vows Close-up of bride's and groom's hands as they exchange rings The kiss

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Bride and groom proceeding up the aisle, guests' smiling faces at their sides Bride and groom outside ceremony site Congrats shots: bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with good friends and family Bride and groom leaving ceremony site Bride and groom in limo backseat

BEFORE THE RECEPTION (During the Cocktail Hour) Note: You can also take these before the ceremony.

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Bride and groom together  Bride with her happy, proud parents and/or stepparents  Bride with her entire immediate family  Groom with his happy, proud parents and/or stepparents  Groom with his entire immediate family  Bride and groom with all parents Bride and groom with immediate family members from both sides Bride and groom with groomsmen Bride and groom with bridesmaids Bride and groom with whole wedding party

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THE RECEPTION

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Shot from outside reception site (to set the tone) Reception details such as place cards, guest book, centerpieces, decorations, table settings, favors table, and champagne glasses Bride and groom arriving (make it dramatic -their faces through the dark limo windows, the two lovebirds atop a staircase or pushing through a curtain) Receiving line moments Bride and groom at head table Parents' table

Guests' tables Close-up of friends and family making toasts Bride and groom sipping champagne Bride's and groom's parents whispering to each other during dinner Bride and groom chatting up the guests Bride and groom's first dance (maybe with a slow shutter speed so the movement blurs the image a little) Parents dancing Bride and Dad dancing Groom and Mom dancing Wedding party dancing Grandparents dancing Kids playing or dancing Musicians or DJ doing their thing Guests going nuts on the dance floor (again, slow shutter speed could be effective) Bride laughing with bridesmaids Cake table Bride and groom cutting the cake Bride and groom feeding each other cake Dessert table Bouquet toss (perhaps a vertical shot from in front of the bride) Tossing and catching of the garter Bride and groom leaving, waving from getaway car's backseat Rear of car departing

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the lord of the

Wedding Rings Article by: Peter Northcutt

groom’s best man is more than just a pretty face and a bow tie. The best man must plan and execute a memorable bachelor party without ruining the future marriage of his best friend. He must organize a disheveled group of groomsmen and make them look like they didn’t just wake up from a memorable bachelor party. And then, he must make the ever-intimidating toast, which should, again, be memorable but not too memorable. But if recent best man Justin Laskowski has any advice to give, it’s to not overlook the most important duty of the groom’s right-hand man: “Hold on to the freaking rings.”

JUSTIN’S STORY …

When the bride started walking down the aisle, I realized I never got the rings.

The beachfront ceremony seating was filling up quickly as family and friends walked in from their resort in Wrightsville Beach, N.C. As the ceremony started, Justin took his place beside his cousin and childhood best friend, Jeremy Laskowski. “When he asked me, I was super excited,” Justin said. “We had talked about it for a number of years— about how we were going to be each other’s best man.” His debut as best man was going swimmingly. The beach was beautiful, Justin was surrounded by family and Jeremy was about to get hitched. But, when the congregation stood for the bridal procession, a sense of panic came over him. “When the bride started walking down the aisle, I realized I never got the rings,” Justin said.

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

The only eyes not glued to the bride as she proceeded toward the love of her life were Justin’s--his were looking frantically for those golden symbols of that undying love. Looking back, Justin said he had been setting up for the wedding all day and the rings had completely slipped his

mind. In a panic, he leaned over to the groomsman beside him and whispered, “Hey, do you have the rings?” “No, you’re the best man. That’s your job.” “Right,” Justin conceded. Without drawing attention to himself, Justin made eye contact with the mother of the groom and mouthed the word, “rings.” Her eyes widened and she had a “mini-freak out,” as Justin described. She whispered to her 13-year-old son, Jesse, who slipped out of the ceremony and sprinted up the beach. After running a block down the street and up eight

flights of stairs to their hotel room, he began digging through their stuff to find the missing rings. Meanwhile at the ceremony, the pastor expounded upon the symbolic meaning of the wedding ring and the eternal nature of love. “I hope you keep talking about rings, because I don’t actually have rings,” Justin thought as the unknowing pastor continued and as the exchange of missing rings loomed. All Justin could do was wait and pray his little cousin was a fast runner. Just then, right before the pastor asked for the rings, Jesse slipped back into his seat beside his mother and handed them to her. Justin, witnessing the glorious return of his now-favorite cousin, casually reached his open hand behind his back like receiving a baton. Jeremy’s mom extended her hand into Justin’s as the pastor called for the rings. In one fluid swing of the arm, Justin passed them on to his best friend. No one else ever noticed the saga behind the ceremony. 

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‘Til Death...

a Grooms view of the wedding Article by: Robert Valentine Photography by: Bailey & B Photography

n the spring, the promise of new life hangs in the air, and people shop for new gas grills, new riding mowers and new baseball gloves.

In late spring, things really get moving. Not the least of these moving things are prospective brides, their mothers, their several friends and female relatives and their wedding planners or wedding coordinators or wedding czars or wedding supreme allied commanders. It’s time for us to address the issue of the traditional spring/summer/June wedding. Now, it would be of no use for me to address critical issues of dress, demeanor or deportment, because I know nothing of these things.

• Showing up at the wedding • Attending the rehearsal of the wedding • Refraining from fainting at the wedding • Refraining from spitting up at the reception • Saying, "I do," when prompted by the minister, judge or captain of a ship • Asking for directions when lost on the honeymoon.

There is a good chance you will be asked to help plan the wedding.

Let's talk about the groom. He's the least prepared for what will happen, and yet, he's almost as important as, let’s say, the selection of canned music for the rehearsal diner. Let's all get ready.

PREPARING FOR YOUR WEDDING There are many important things you, the

groom, must do as the two families prepare for the happy day. Included in this long list of important responsibilities are:

There are no other important responsibilities for you, and if you do all of the items on the list above, you will be regarded by your new wife's friends as an ideal husband. It sounds easy, but it's not. There are pitfalls.

THE PARTNERSHIP

There is a good chance your intended will want you to help plan the wedding. This is somewhat akin to asking your Labrador-Bassett mix to act as architectural consultant while you lay out the structure, electrical plan and ventilating system for a new $12,000 doghouse. You would never do such a thing, but your fiancée will drag you into the preparations as if you could actually distinguish between magenta, red, scarlet, tangerine and "Flaming Passion," which are her colors for the bride's maids' dresses. Maybe. You will find the following noises to be helpful during this trying time: "Yes, Dear." "I see." "Yes, Sweetie." "Unh-hunh." "Sure thing, Precious." "Ahhhh!" "You bet, Love Bug."

LIKE MOTHER . . . Your mother-in-law is your best friend. Despite the fact she has publicly communicated her belief that her daughter "could have done much better if she had gone husband hunting in a federal penitentiary," the old girl can be a real asset to you. Whenever your fiancée insists on your attendance at a planning or strategy session, make sure to let her mom in on the schedule. Said mom will then show up with her own ideas and, during the ensuing squabble, you may escape. If they catch you before you make it to the door, simply smile and mumble something about "magenta cinnamon festoons for the groom's cake," and, for goodness’ sake, don't wait for an answer.

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS . . . . You'll hear a lot of jokes about this being the end of your life as a free man, about how your youth is over and about how you now will have no mind of your own, etc., etc., etc. Pay no attention to these comments. Dwelling on the truth is only depressing at a time like this. In fact, the joys of marriage are exceeded only by the joys of having stitches removed from a laceration over your left eye. Sure, you won't make many important decisions anymore, but you never did make many. And, most of those decisions weren’t very good, anyway. Remember the time you thought you could jump the curb in your brother's Corvette? Also, you won't have to eat your own cooking anymore. Chances are you will be eating at a nice, well-lit restaurant most of the time, and when that fails, you will enjoy something freshly thawed and brought up to tepidness by the new microwave oven your mother-in-law got you for a wedding present. Most important of all, you will no longer have to tremble when some old guy tells you what it’s like to be married. You will know, first-hand, what this ancient institution is all about. You will know that it's about finances, property ownership, compromise (mostly yours), understanding, patience, hope, togetherness, and - best of all - friendship. 

www.BrideToBeBook.com  The Bride-to-Be Book 

I now

Pronounce You Article by: Roberta Williamson

What’s in a name?

A rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet. Juliet, from Romeo and Juliet

ell, names may not have mattered to Juliet, but she also didn’t need a driver’s license, a passport, credit cards, utilities — and income tax had not yet been invented. Besides, she never had a wedding, poor thing. You, on the other hand, may need to carefully consider “What’s in a name?” In most cases, if you will change your name when you marry, you’ll have to start planning the whole thing right along with the ceremony, the reception and the honeymoon. Names are serious business in our society.

PICK ONE Perhaps the most common approach for young brides in west Kentucky and Tennessee is to take the name of the husband. Sure: it’s old-fashioned and traditional, but it may also be the path of least resistance — and confusion. You can keep your maiden name, hyphenate yours and his, make your family name your middle name — it’s a free country, but you should consider all the consequences, implications and conveniences. Even so, you’ll have to file a paper requesting a revision in your Social Security records. Thankfully, SS-5 is a free form and processing it is free. It is not, however, quick or automatic.

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

You will need a certified copy (not a photocopy) of your marriage license, and those are not always free. You’ll also need a copy when you change your name on each of the following documents:

• Your Driver’s License • Your Voter Registration (especially if you relocated when you married)

• Your Passport

BUT YOU MAY WANT TO WAIT . . . If your honeymoon will take you out of the country, remember that you must have a least one form of photo ID with your legal name. Some brides delay the name change until after they return from Cancun, Mexico, or Europe so all their maiden identification papers match the photos on passports and driver’s licenses. If your passport is less than one year old, you can get a replacement with your new name for free by filing a Department of State form known as DS-5504. It will take time — usually about six weeks — to get the new passport. If it’s been more than a year, you’ll need to file DS-82, and there will be a fee of about $110.

DON’T FORGET TO TELL DILLARD’S And then the march to various offices begins. You’ll also want to share the change in your surname with these folks:

• Your employer • Memberships in professional organizations • Banks and brokers • Utilities and telephone service providers • Physicians, dentists and other care-givers • The US Postal Service • Insurance companies • Any business with whom you have a credit card • Friends and associations

successful and happy women have done this before, and millions more are involved with it right now, just like you. There are nearly 300 marriages registered in Calloway County every year and if those brides can do it, so can you. There are businesses who will help you get the job done quickly and efficiently — but not without cost. If you decide to use such a service, be sure you check it out with the Better Business Bureau or local courthouse authorities. Your name is your credit, and credit is very important, especially in a new marriage. Now, get back to that guest list for the reception, and best wishes in your new life with a new — and well-documented — name. 

This can take time and different agencies and businesses will have different approaches to changing their records. Make a list of who you contact and when you do so. If you don’t hear from someone within six weeks, it’s time for a follow-up call. Contact people either in person or on the phone. Get the name of the person to whom you speak, and write it down. It could be important later on if there are delays or confusion.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU . . . And, as intimidating and time-consuming as it may seem, just remember that millions of sane, www.BrideToBeBook.com  The Bride-to-Be Book 

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Sweethearts Article by: Robert Valentine

ere is a story of a wedding, and the American treasure that it became. Everyone likes a good wedding story. Besides, it is a true story – or as true as a modern storyteller can make it. It is the story of a famous man, of whom you have heard, and his fascinating, much-loved wife of whom you probably have not heard. Let’s change that.

AN UNLIKELY HERO

When war breaks out in 1861, he is off for Nevada with his brother, Orion. No one ever mentions this move to the West in later years, because gentlemen of the 1870s and 1880s frequently identify themselves by recounting their wartime affiliations. Clemens’ wartime memories include panning for gold, digging for silver, hunting, and telling stories in the mining camps and around the fires of the Silverland.

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

After the war, he has established a bit of a reputation as a journalist. But his reputation is thin; journalists in 1870 are not invited to the best homes in America. Publishers are famous, but reporters are the merest oddities. Clemens, who is now known by his pen name, “Mark Twain,” moves from California to seek his fortune in the publishing trade. Having written an entertaining set of sketches from Hawaii (then called “The Sandwich Islands”), he arrives in New York expecting to be welcomed by editors and publishers of every stripe and kind. It doesn’t happen.

For Olivia, deep and abiding affection was a matter of fact.

Picture this: It is post-Civil War America. Samuel L. Clemens, an impoverished writer in his mid-30s, has just become a resident of the East. For some years he has been in California and Nevada, a denizen of the roughest mining camps in the world. His parents were Kentuckians, but he was born “on the frontier” in 1835. He was raised in a middle class home in Hannibal, Missouri, from which he ran away to become a riverboat pilot. Reports are mixed; he was either a well-behaved, church-going lad, or a rascal of the first order. Or both. This much is certain: against his parents’ wishes he ran off to the river and became a wanderer in one of the toughest trades available in pre-war America.

The saloons of Carson City and Virginia City were dangerous, but they were safe havens compared to Vicksburg, The Wilderness, and Chickamauga. Strike Two.

Friends had written to tell him that his story, “The Jumping Frog of Calaveras County,” was enormously popular. They were right: the story was a hit. Artemus Ward had passed it along to the editor of a failing monthly magazine who included it as filler in the final edition. It was a happy accident, but it had its limits. “The Jumping Frog” appeared in the last number of [The Saturday Press], was the most joyous feature of the obsequies, and was at once copied in the newspapers of America and England. It certainly had a wide celebrity . . . but I was aware that it was the Frog that was celebrated—it wasn’t I. I was still an obscurity.” Newspapers – especially newspapers in England – are untroubled by the niceties of copyright. They reproduce his work without credit or represent it to

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In the end, Livy tamed the wild man from California...

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

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Marriage & Money plan for happiness Article by: Diana Thomason, Financial Consultant/Investment Advisor

eddings. Whether you're planning your own through Pinterest or browsing stacks of bridal magazines, there are many facets to what some have called, “the most important day of your life.” While weddings have traditionally been held in churches, this region provides a variety of different venues to make your wedding even more special. You’ve been planning your dream wedding since you were ten years old. You knew how tall your husband would be, and what color hair he’d have. Heck: you even knew how many kids you’d have, and already had names picked out for them. All you needed was to find the man to fit the plan, and then you’d be set. Admit it. We all did that. What we didn’t plan for was the stuff of real life. Jobs. Taxes. Insurance. Budgets. Retirement. Ick. Well, now is the time to start planning the rest of your life with as much gusto as you planned this one day.

IN SICKNESS, HEALTH & HONESTY

The hardest part about embarking on your own adventure as a couple is deciding together what you can and can’t afford right now. Young couples often get caught up in the trap of comparison. They may not be living on the golf course, but they still feel they have to spend a certain amount in order to earn the respect of their peers. Let me tell you a dirty little secret: Just because someone can make a payment on a new car,  The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

BORING, BUT BASIC Budgeting isn’t sexy, but it makes good sense. Sit down with your spouse and take a look at the numbers. Consider your combined incomes, and set some realistic guidelines that you both can live with. Needs are at the top of the list: food, clothing, shelter. Other items that should be very high on the list are debt reduction and retirement savings. Build an emergency fund. Discretionary spending (the fun stuff) should come last. And set some mutual guidelines about what each of you can spend without checking with the other. Is it alright to spend $100 or less without checking? What’s your number?

Life happens. Some things we expect to happen, some we don't.

You and your husband should talk about money. Be open and honest about your feelings toward money. Did you come from greatly different backgrounds? What was the financial atmosphere in your house when you were growing up? We all know that money (and our differences in how we handle it) can be a stumbling block for many couples, young and old. Do you have credit card debt? Now is the time to be discussing that debt with your spouse.

doesn’t mean they can really afford it. Many people live beyond their means, barely making their payments, and they are slaves to worry and doubt. This is not the kind of energy you want during your first years of marriage. It is more important to invest in your relationship than to keep up with the Joneses.

When you are developing your budget, consider living on one salary and try to save the other. Put the extra salary into an emergency fund. Why? Because life happens. Some things we expect to happen, some we don’t. We can expect kids to come along, and perhaps one of you will decide to stay home with them. Perhaps one of you will lose a job and you have to live on one salary for a few months. You can survive it if you are prepared.

BE CAUTIOUS OF THE CARDS! Be wary of credit card debt. You know that credit cards can have ridiculously high rates of interest, but you may not be aware of what it is really costing you. Interest is typically compounded daily, which greatly increases the amount that you will pay over time. I don’t want to bore you with the math here, but look at the facts. A card with

only $2,000 of debt at 26% interest, might have a minimum payment calculated on the interest due plus 1% of the principal. The first payment would be $63, and would be recalculated monthly. At this rate, it would take you 198 months (16 years) and $3,640 in additional interest (on top of the original $2,000) to pay off this card. Find a credit card calculator online and play around with it using your own numbers. You will be surprised at how much you are spending, and it will help you make that decision to pay it off faster.

PLAN FOR NOW; PLAN FOR LATER Right now, retirement seems like it is a lifetime away, but time is on your side! If you start saving for retirement now, and save consistently over the 40 years until you retire, you can know that you will have a nice nest egg. If your employer offers a retirement plan that has an employer match on your salary deferral, take advantage of it! Once you put that money in your retirement account, plan on leaving it there until retirement. The IRS charges penalties on early withdrawal of retirement funds – and the penalties can be a good incentive to let that money grow. A consistent $237 per month investment at an average of 9% over 40 years could grow to $1,000,000. If you are receiving an employer match on top of that, your savings are even higher. You? A millionaire? You can be, if you start early enough, save consistently, and put your money to work for you.

Insurance might seem like a lot of money out the door with nothing to show for it. It can certainly feel that way at times, but you can’t really afford NOT to have insurance. Homeowners insurance is probably required if you are financing your home. Health insurance is now mandated by the government. Life insurance can become critical if you have substantial debts to cover and the primary breadwinner dies unexpectedly.

PLANNING IS PART OF LIFE Building your life together with your new husband is an exciting time – and it should be! Just remember to put as much energy into planning for the next forty years as you did for your wedding day. If thinking about your finances has given you a headache, and you don’t know where to start, get help. Financial professionals help people of all ages develop a strategy that can help them be successful in life. Everyone wishes you joy, happiness, security and the wonder that is a loving relationship. In the end, however, you’re the one who will have to take the steps necessary to create that joy, security and happiness. After you say, “I do,” say to yourself, “I will,” and start building your tomorrows, today.

Advertiser’s Directory

Do you need the phone number or address of a business you saw advertised in Bride-to-Be, but you can’t remember where you saw it? Well here’s a handy guide to the messages provided by the folks whose contribution to your wedding day knowledge helped make this magazine a reality. If you visit them in person, please tell them where you got the good word about their good help. Advertiser

Page #

Advertiser

Page #

The Arboretum at Murray State University ..............1 270-767-0467

Maple Center, The .........................................................18 270-978-0905

Bailey & B Photography ...............................................25 270-761-3686

Miller Conf. Center .................................Outside Back 270-759-2199

The Bride-to-Be Book.....................................................6 www.BrideToBeBook.com

The Murray Banquet Center ......................................38 270-761-6800

Boone Laundry Cleaners..............................................31 270-753-2552

Murray Life Magazine....................................................21 270-753-5225

The Cask...........................................................................19 270-761-2275

Murray Woman’s Clinic...................................................8 270-753-9300

Celebrations ....................................................................13 270-761-2933

My Wedding Logos........................................................58 www.myweddinglogos.com

Charlton and Park ..........................................................31 270-753-1851

New Life Christian Bookstore.....................................18 270-753-1622

Corvette Lanes...............................................................37 270-753-2202

Oakwood Studio .............................................................41 270-753-7050

Dan’s..................................................................................45 270-753-0100

Peaches Prints • Etc ........................................................6 www.PeachesPrintsEtc.com

A Festive Touch..............................................................38 270-873-2900

SBG Real Propery Professionals................................38 270-753-9999

Gold Rush ........................................................................45 270-753-1968

Soul Dog...........................................................................50 270-978-2364

Grey’s Properties............................................................31 270-759-2001

Springhill Suites Marriott .............................................13 www.SpringhillSuites.com

Helix Creative..................................................................21 270-761-4549

Tap 216 ..............................................................................37 270-761-4827

Holiday Inn Express .......................................................19 270-759-4449

Vintage Rose Emporium...............................................37 270-759-2100

Illumination Productions ..............................................27 www.IlluminationProductions.net

Westwood Wines...........................................................50 731-642-7714

Lake Chem Comm. Federal Credit Union ..............33 270-761-5228

Women’s Health at Primary Care..............................36 270-759-9200

Lovett Auditorium & The Murray Room.....Inside Front 270-809-5577

Wrather West Kentucky Museum ............Inside Back 270-809-4771

www.BrideToBeBook.com  The Bride-to-Be Book 

The Last Word Article by: Robert Valentine Photography by: Bailey & B Photography

Let the change begin.

t is often said, “ The men marry, expecting that the woman will never change; women marry, expecting that the man will; both are disappointed.” If that’s how you feel, prepare for disappointment. Most marriages involve people well under 40 years of age, so change is inevitable. Both parties will grow wiser (we hope) and more patient (in some cases). Eventually, their bodies will catch up to their maturing minds and the social schedule will become less hectic, water skiing will be replaced by gardening, and golf will take the place of tennis. Ah, well. Personalities change, too. Life brings plenty of experiences — some happy, some not so. Living through them can alter your outlook on the very essence of life. You’ll change. That’s probably what Ralph Waldo Emerson was thinking when he asked: “Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition

institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?” O, but Ralphie, your assumption that “such as are in” all wish to get out is wrong. This is a masculine myth slung around the bar or the locker room in a vain effort to re-declare a boyish independence. Few married men would truthfully say, “I was better off.” Man left on his own would probably live like a bear in a cave — and smell worse. No: change will come to the married pair. Shakespeare, 400 years ago, wrote in his sonnet, “Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments: love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.” Marry a true friend, he reminds us, and know happiness. In short, you will change. He or she will change. The world will change. But the love that brings you together should not and will not change, no matter the color of her hair or the absence of his. I tell you from certain knowledge: if it changes at all, love grows deeper and richer and, I suspect, it never ends. Life is a long journey, and it is better to travel with a friend. Have a nice trip. 

 The Bride-to-Be Book  2016 Edition