INTRODUCTION THIS BOOK INCLUDES QUOTES FROM PEOPLE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. THESE PEOPLE ANONYMOUSLY SHARED THEIR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF INEQUALITY WITH ME AND NOW I AM SHARING THEM WITH YOU.
All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is forbidden except with the express permission of the publisher. The views expressed in 50/50 are those of the contributors and are not necessarily shared by the book or it’s staff. Photography by Danny Spruce.
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“ I’m a Mexican-American female bisexual not affiliated with any religion. My whole family is Catholic; sometimes they get mad at me for not believing in a God. As a female I know I have many limitations and places people will take advantage of me, like when I went to look around at cars I was looking to buy. I know that I couldn’t go alone or they wouldn’t take me seriously, or they might try to trick me into getting a bad deal. Even though we specified that I was the one looking for a car, and even though I know more than my boyfriend, the salesmen would only talk to my boyfriend about the features and financing and all that. So I bought nothing from them. That’s just an example. In my experience as a researcher, I feel like older scientists are very patronizing and create a toxic environment for females to try to succeed. As a Mexican, I feel like a lot of people think I got to where I am because of a “free” ride or programs having to meet race quotas. And lastly, as a bisexual I’m often not considered gay enough to be part of the LGBT issues, since I’m so close to being straight, I don’t feel like I deserve to “come out” to my family until I have a girlfriend to present them with.
I’m 14 and I’ve already been sexually harassed in school four times. Although they were all relatively minor incidents (a guy put his hand up my skirt, for instance,) my mum just said it was normal and one time I even told a teacher about it and they
just laughed it off. Also, when I was in year 7 I asked if I could use the discus the boys were using because I felt the one I had was too light and that one was better suited to my strength and they said no without even listening to what I said, which is, of course, nothing compared to all those times they needed some “good strong boys” to lift the benches, and even if they didn’t explicitly say that they still always pick boys, because I need a dick to lift a bench. I have been hit on a lot by older men who wanted me because I looked 14 when I’m actually in my 20s. When I would say “no” and explain why, they ignore it or don’t take me seriously. I also have been rejected for any help with my illnesses that I really need because of my gender and because the fact they can’t see my disability. One night I was arrested for trying to run away, I did what I knew to do and told them “I do not consent to search and seizure and identify in the LGTBQ spectrum.” I was promptly turned to after I added the LGTBQ statement and sexually harassed then “correctively raped” by him with other cops standing around. Not looking, not even flinching a muscle, smoking my cigarettes as I screamed for help and fought the best I could while hand cuffed.
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AS A BISEXUAL I’M OFTEN NOT CONSIDERED GAY ENOUGH TO BE PART OF THE LGBT ISSUES 050
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but even here there’s inequality and it’s annoying as fuck.”
“...
“I am a female and I had to do this project for my Spanish class the group I was in was entirely male and when they saw that I was in the group most of them groaned in annoyance, just because I am a female. I suggested ideas for the project but they all just ignored me because obviously females are stupid because we have boobs and a vagina. I was also called a bitch on different occasions...at least twice.” “I’m female, 20, asexual, white. Obviously gender inequality is a serious, serious issue that doesn’t seem to go away or get much better. Though not as badly as others, asexuality is treated very unfairly. People say that it doesn’t even exist, even some within the LGBT community. As a white person, I face no racism or inequalities in my life because
of race. My hair is dyed blue, which seems to deter people from me sometimes. Not even close to as badly as the rest of the issues, but it’s still there. People are too focused on the looks of others.” “Luckily I’m a white female who is in a more privileged country so luckily I don’t get extreme inequality (e.g. I can vote) but it’s things like being told I can’t walk home after dark because it’s too dangerous when it should be people getting told they can’t rape or hurt people or getting told to do some cooking for an event I offered to help plan. Or getting constantly catcalled or being told stop being bossy if I try and be a leader or not getting taken seriously if I’m emotional because “it’s just her time of the month” and I’m so lucky
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to live in a country where I don’t get executed for wanting an education but even here there’s inequality and it’s annoying as fuck.” “I once entered an expensive jewellery shop in my casual clothes, no make up, hair tied back and carrying a Poundland carrier bag. The person that owned the shop stepped forward as the door opened took one look at me and stepped back leaving one of her staff to deal with me. I then pulled one of their ring boxes out of the carrier, which she immediately recognised and then stepped forward to serve me. I said I wanted a ring that was a gift to be resized. After looking at the ring I was treated totally differently, she couldn’t do enough for me. Don’t judge someone by their clothes.”
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“I am encouraged to believe my race negates any justification for me feeling any emotion other than guilt. I fear relentless attack for standing up for my people. I can say with certainty I was singled out as a child because my mother was impolite to my teachers. I have a lot of physical limitations, which I was often bullied for during childhood. I remember my siblings forcibly excluding me from their activities because I was the youngest one and “mom’s favorite”, therefore I must have been a spoiled brat and had “too much privilege” to be allowed to play with them.” “I am a white, atheist male, and I can out rightly say I experience a fair amount of benefits because of this.
I do not fear walking out a I feel I am judged and benight, I do not fear police littled because I don’t subofficers, and I am not seen a scribe to the status quo of threat because of my beliefs. gender roles.” The only inequality I suffer “I have recived harassment from is the lack of under- and condescending remarks standing about my sexual- for being a woman. I’ve ity (Pan), which makes me played ice hockey since I was 9, and I’ve uneasy about had plenty coming out. of people try Well, that, “I BELIEVE to ‘put me in and society’s my place’, tell expectations IN FEMINISM of masculinBECAUSE I FEEL I me I should get off the ity (PerpetuAM JUDGED AND ice, and I’ve ated by men) had some of being a BELITTLED” teams that stocky, tall will refuse athlete. I am a to put me short, skinny, feminine man who enjoys on the team. I’ve sometimes make-up and poetry. Never been given longer penalties has this been an issue with for things that should only women, but with men. I be- be 2-minute penalties, all lieve in feminism, because because I was a girl and sup-
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posedly have less control over myself. When I was in middle school, a lot of kids bullied me and called me a lesbian just because I played hockey.” “Being a non-binary trans person, I often have to deal with persons refusing to use my preferred name and pronouns, not taking me seriously, mocking me or asking invasive questions about the gender I’ve been assigned at birth or my genitals, even though they just met me. Most people at work or university just refuse to recognize my gender as legitimate. I also have been mocked, beaten and threatened of death and rape for not being straight.”
“I am a white girl, age 21. I am 5’2” tall, and I weigh around 107-110 pounds. Because of my frame, and external appearance, I am constantly accused of having an eating disorder, or treated like I can’t do anything for myself., such as lifting a box at work, or even small things like bringing in the groceries. So because of my outward appearance of being a small white girl, I am treated differently on a daily basis. I am also heterosexual, but choose to keep my hair very, very short. Shaven all the way down, actually. And because of that, I am always told I look like a lesbian, which isn’t the case. Just because a
girl prefers to have no hair, it me differently in many ways. doesn’t automatically make I am seen as confused, sinful, slutty, and greedy. Some her a lesbian.” “While I am of Caucasian friends will shy away from race, the town I live in is me if I show any affection predominately POC. I have or intimacy, even though been denied jobs and been it is all strictly platonic. In refused the opportunity to relationships, most males will assume hand in apthat I have plications and no interest in being nega“I HAVE BEEN monogamy tively called because of a ‘white girl’ REFUSED THE my sexual many times in OPPORTUNITY orientation, the process. TO HAND IN and will push Male customers often harAPPLICATIONS” harder for things I am ass me at my not comjob because I am a female, and we have fortable with because of it. an extensive system of what Many people see bisexuality women are and are not al- as a gimmick to attract atlowed to do to ensure our tention.” safety. I am also bisexual, “Many men have looked at which makes people treat me and assumed I am unin-
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telligent because I am small and a ‘woman’. They assume I should reciprocate a feeling because they have it, no matter my own feelings. With matters of sexuality, I am still too intimidated by a reaction to express myself. I have been told I look too much like a boy and that I should change this.” “I am an asexual transgender man and I face ridicule daily about my gender orientation and my sexuality because others view them as strange, they will tell me that I can’t be that or that I must be this way through some sort of trauma. They won’t listen, they’ll only ridicule and tell me that I’m not what I am and say it’s just a phase I’m going through.”
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“One time a man followed me home in his car while I was walking in my neighbourhood. The entire time he was asking me if I would give him my and ignoring the fact that I was clearly distressed, afraid, and uninterested. Men don’t have to deal with things like this in their day-to-day lives.” “My experience of being treated unequally and unfairly was when I was with my cousin and aunt. My cousins and aunt kept pestering me about ‘getting a boyfriend/
husband’ even after I told them that I liked girls too. One of my cousins don’t mind, but my other cousin and aunt never talked to me again after that incident. But sometimes I can hear them as my mom if I have a boyfriend yet.” “I’m a gay girl, and the majority of the time, I wear what most people would class as “boy clothes”, and even some friends can judge me for that! It’s not too bad though. The most annoying thing is feeling
uncomfortable displaying affection towards a girl in public. I’m still not confident in doing that. However, though I’m only out to roughly 30-ish people, some family included, I’ve never had a bad reaction! I’ve also never been called names or bullied for my sexual orientation.” “I dress like a guy but I’m a girl, not transgender, and I used to get teased by a couple of people about it and they would tell me that I was confused about my gender.
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“You ch I also have been teased and bullied about being bi-sexual, saying both that being gay is disgusting or that its “you chose one or the other, you can’t chose both” “As a Jewish individual I am constantly exposed to antiSemitism even from other groups like feminist and LGBTQ supporters and if I do say something I’m told to stop defending my privilege even though I am POC (middle eastern descent) and not from a wealthy family.”
hoose one or the other, You can’t have both.” 050
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“I have not been treated unequally in the last 20 years but I certainly did as a young woman. Have we culturally changed over the years or was I treated unequally due to being young and female?�
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50 / 50 “I used to have a boss that required me to charge more to black people than white people. The business was a home owned one, and so of course the boss could make the prices whatever he wanted. There was a fixed white charge and a fixed black charge. Unfortunately I needed money badly (I’ve lived on the street before, but at that point other people were counting on my money) so I couldn’t quit. It was a horrible experience. I quit as soon as I could afford to.” “I have Asperger’s and because I’m “high functioning” (i.e.: I can hold up a conversation) anyone outside of close friends/family (and even family isn’t constant with this) don’t want to even try to understand or work with me and think that I should just be “normal” instead of stressing out what with my diagnosed
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depression and anxiety. But my brother (whom I have no hard feelings against personally) is “more autistic” for lack of better wording and so he gets lenient and coddling treatment in most cases. Nobody outside of my close friend circle knows I identify as demigirl. I’m DFAB, so if I tried to tell my conservative Christian parents they’d just tell me it’s a phase and not to make myself out as a special snowflake..” “Women don’t always get the same opportunities as men, which is particularly concerning for job aspects. I lost out on a job opportunity to a man for a teaching post and I believe the fact that he was male had a large part to play in the matter as there is a serious lack of male teachers which made him more desirable.”
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“I am from a large family and because of the speech by Ian Duncan Smith about 4 years ago he managed to convince the stupid British public that people from large family’s hide all day behind closed curtains whilst knocking out kids and living of the back of the tax payer. This was clearly him creating a moral crisis which members of large family’s have to live with everyday. “
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“I’m often disregarded for being a housewife. Men don’t take me seriously and women always give me the up and down glare and give me jealous responses. I mean, obviously all I do is sit with my vibrator up my ass and drink wine all day right? It’s almost impossible to get a job or have a real friendship even with women who “hate” women.”
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“
rejected. My pastimes and
mother told me bisexuality
my bisexuality means I do not
interests criticize me because I
is just greed, and it doesn’t
believe in monogamy, which is
am a female. I have been told
actually exist. My mother
false. 99% of the men I have
how I am supposed to act,
told me if I ever “became a
been interested in have met
dress, talk and carry myself.
lesbian”, she would banish me
my coming out to them with
Men criticize every action I
from her life and would not be
something along the lines of,
perform for myself, as if I’m
welcome in her home. People
“so we can definitely have a
I am a bisexual female. It’s
meant to only live to appease
feel it is their place to gauge
threesome”, “so you don’t
no secret that females are, in
their wants and desires. I wear
my “level of bisexuality”. I
care if I hit on other women”,
no way, treated equally. My
makeup, I have piercings, and
am constantly riddled with
“so we can talk about how hot
intelligence
diminished
I wear tight-laced corsets.
irrelevant
how
other women are together.” I
constantly. I have lost job
“You’d be prettier without
many men have I dated, how
have been made to feel highly
opportunities to less qualified
makeup.” “You’re only pretty
many women have I dated,
uncomfortable in almost all
males, I have gained job
because you wear makeup,”
how many men have I had sex
of my relationships. People
opportunities based solely on
“You’d look so beautiful if
with, how many women have
assume that, if I’m dating a
my looks, and was mistreated
you didn’t have all that metal
I have sex with, what is my
man, I am no longer bisexual…
when I did not use them to
I am now straight. People
am harassed by men daily, be
My mother told me that if I ever became a lesbian she would banish me from her life
it online, driving, while I’m on
in your face.” “You’ve ruined
preference, how do I know
misrepresented, and I am
the street, shopping, and even
your face.” “Tiny waists aren’t
I’m not just confused? I have
erased almost daily. I am
at work; many instances of
attractive.” “I only like thicker
dated more men than I have
forced to keep my sexuality
this harassment has caused me
girls.” “Why don’t you show
women, so that must mean I
hidden
to feel unsafe and in danger.
a little more skin?” “That
am not actually bisexual, I just
members. I am called a slut. I
On four different occasions,
sweater isn’t flattering.” All
find women attractive. People
find myself treated unequally
men have circled my vehicle
comments I receive from
tell me I am just trying to feel
every day of my life due to
on the freeway, trying to tap
irrelevant men, almost daily.
included with the LGBTQIA
who I am.
on my windows and making
I’ve had men comment on
community, even though I’m
obscene
me,
my weight, my hair colour
just straight. People tell me I’m
and trying to get my phone
and style, my height, my
just pretending to be bisexual
number. I have been called
breast size, the size of my
because I’m ashamed to come
horrible names when I decline
ass, my face, my skin, my
out as a lesbian. My identity if
or ignore advances from
clothing, literally everything.
constantly tested and erased.
men, and have been followed
My sexuality has also caused a
In relationships, people also
by groups of men I have
lot of friction in my life. My
will automatically assume that
is
the company’s advantage. I
gestures
at
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questions,
also assume that bisexuality is a pull for attention. I am
from
my
family
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