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July 2018

Fitting in is not an option Plus size s the new size 4: embrace your curves

Getting to know

Nasiphi Ntabeni

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EDITOR-IN CHIEF Kaya Nqwelo FASHION EDITOR Nomangwane Flatela SPIRITUAL CORNER Prophet Khonziwe Tukwayo FINANCIAL ADVICE Siya Njobe LAYOUT AND DESIGNER ADVERTISING

Sugarlime media Pty ltd 0787920063 sugar_lme@yahoo.com

We would love to hear from you.

Please contact 078 7920 063 or email us on kayasante@hotmail.co.za

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ntied Contents

Embrace your true self 2 Contributors 4 Editor’s Note 6 Mandela day :67 minutes 7 Cover: Nasiphi Ntabeni 14 Plus size s the new size 4: embrace your curves 19 Fashion: fierce and modest 20 Fashion: start your own fashion blog 21 Fashion: fashion insight 23 Beauty: skin nourishment 24 Beauty: pamper yourself 26 Hair: how to have healthy hair 27 hair: how to make a wig 30 Careers: few pointers to the right direction 31 Financial Advice: 10 signs that show you are financially stable 33 Untied Food: cheese and potato soup 34 Untied Food: pork chops with maple roasted vegetables 35 Wellness: mentally and physically fit 37 Spiritual Corner 38 Introvert.Com: fitting in is not an option 37 Entertainment: Imbewu: The seed

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untied Editor’s Note Embrace your fears and flaws they able to help you highlight the powers "Our deepest fear is not that we are weak. within Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world ... As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." These are the words that were spoken by the late Nelson Mandela. Such powerful words. Indeed what we carry is beyond measure, and there is no mathematician that can calculate what God has placed in each and everyone of us. We carry greatness and we are of great value.

A writer once said that if your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.

Dream dreams that makes you to shake in your boots when thinking about the success ahead. Be the kind of dreamer that believes in oneself even if other people have lost hope. Be a dreamer. Just like Joseph in the bible he had a dream and his dream was big.

His father and siblings couldn't bring themselves to believing him. But in the end all came pass.

On this month’s issue: On our cover this month we have the winner of The Final cut Talent Search and new cast member of Isidingo: The need Nasiphi Ntabeni. She shares with us about her journey on the talent show and about her role as Cebisa on Isidingo. We have a full feature on ‘embrace your curves’ initiative where we chatted with the participants. We have food, fashion, spiritual nourishment and a little bit of everything you need. Enjoy!

X X X….......... Kaya Nqwelo 4

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Content Development Publishing

Celebrate the legendary Nelson Mandela by: You can also contribute 67 minutes of your time towards the global movement for good On Mandela Day (18 July), people around the world are encouraged to spend at least 67 minutes doing something positive for their communities in honour of the 67 years that the late South African president Nelson Mandela spent fighting for social justice and a free, democratic country.

This is the fourth Mandela Day since the global icon passed, and since he’s no longer around to anchor the occasion, it’s more important than ever to endorse the values for which he struggled and to share his message for peace and humanity with future generations.

IDEAS FOR MANDELA DAY There are many ways to get involves on the 67 minutes campaign. You can visit hospitals and put a smile on patients that are no longer visited by their families. You can visit old age homes, HIV support centres, orphanages and many more. Check out also what NPO’s and NGO’s are doing for the community and join in on whatever thing they are doing. Put a smile on some one’s face on Mandela Day.

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Cover

Pictures supplied by Nasiphi Ntabeni

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asiphi Ntabeni is a South African actress, dancer and model. She was born in Ngcobo in the Eastern Cape and relocated to Dutywa at the age of 12.

She studied Performing

Arts in Lovedale College and she obtained a National Certificate in Performing Arts and she completed her diploma at Stage World theatre school in PE. We got to chat with her just to find out more about this beautiful and down to earth being.

Who is Nasiphi Ntabeni?

I am a hard worker, a go getter and I am very passionate about my craft. My mother died when I was 12 and so my aunt took me in and raised me as her own. My aunt has 6 kids, and I was the youngest addition of the family. My aunt literally treated me as her last born.

What is definitive and unique about you?

What's unique about me? Hmmm let's see.

Well I smile at strangers. I am attached to my family. I do an act of random kindness every day. I choose to be a motivator because the world has enough critics already.

Do you think that your upbringing or background helped mould the kind of person you are today?

At some point in my life I believed I was going to die before I achieve my dreams. I lost my younger sister when I was 2 years, my younger brother passed away when I was 10, my mother when I was 12, and then I lost my older brother in 2014. I was left to deal with the pain alone, everyone I cared for and loved was gone. I had no home, no family, nothing and then my aunt took me in. I had to find purpose and the meaning of my life. I was terrified but I had to find my strength through vulnerability. I am a strong woman today because I managed to rise above those gloomy situations.

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You are one of four Eastern Cape finalists who went through in The Final Cut Talent Search. How was that experience for you?

I was over the moon man. It was the beginning of greater heights, I had conquered the first difficult step and I knew I had to give that opportunity my all.

When they announced that you are the winner, what was going through your mind before their big announcement?

All I remember is nerves, nerves and more nerves. Everyone was nervous. I was crossing fingers and anticipating the announcement. You can never be prepared enough for such moments no matter how you imagine and rehearse them. I knew I've done my part and it was up to the judges now.

Pictures supplied by Nasiphi Ntabeni

You now play Cebisa Nina's apprentice in her criminal dealings on SABC 3's Isidingo.

Tell me more about her (Cebisa) and how you prepared for that role.

Cebisa is in Nina's dark world. She's feisty, she doesn't take nonsense and she really looks up to Nina as crime is the only thing she knows.

For any role I get, I do character analysis and all the necessary background info I can get about my character, I research then I prepare. I believe in Stanislavski’s method "An actor prepares ".

Does Cebisa have a good side to her?

Cebi is human too you know. She has been through so much in life. She's been betrayed, abused, she's seen the worst and done bad things but she still has a heart.

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Pictures supplied by

Pictures supplied by 8 Ntabeni Nasiphi

Would you say that acting is your calling? If yes, why do you think so?

I started doing school plays in grade 2, acting used to excite me a lot and it still does. At that age I could memorize lines, impersonate characters on TV, and I could act. Acting has been part of my life ever since.

What advice would you give to someone who want to enter this tough industry you are in?

Go to school black child. Don't be passionate about something you don't have lengthy knowledge about. You must be driven by passion because you are studying towards your goals to fight unemployment.

Hard work is the key to success.

Who inspires you most in your career?

What inspires me more about my career is challenges. I get excited when am faced with a challenge. Challenges are meant to break us but they later make us improve ourselves.

How do the reality of a career as an actor differ from typical expectations?

Woody Allen wrote: "Show business is not so much of a dog eat dog, as dog doesn't return other dog's phone calls�.

Acting isn't all about feeling the character and being in the moment. Acting is only promising if somebody is prepared to sit down and watch you do it.

Which South African Story would you like to tell one day? A story you think is not told enough or conversed enough.

The issue of HIV and Aids in South Africa is not told enough. I think it's only 1% of infected individuals who disclose to their partners about their status before they can actually have a relationship. People are still scared to disclose their status, especially in rural areas. They are stigmatised and are still labelled by society. People are still judging each other and this is increasing the number of infected people every day. These stories need to be told because our people need to be educated more about this disease.

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Pictures supplied by Nasiphi Ntabeni

Pictures supplied by Nasiphi 10 Ntabeni

Pictures supplied by Nasiphi Ntabeni

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PLUS SIZE IS THE NEW SIZE 4: Embrace your curves

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esearch confirmed that in the early 20th century, the first professional fashion models were called “living mannequins”. They took their name from their 19th century predecessors, the display mannequins used by dressmakers. The term indicated that these early models were no more than animated dolls, and this was born out in reality.

Uniformed in their standardized body shapes and mechanical modelling styles. Who can blame them? Whoever came up with it did a massive job on the first model to ever exist, I mean the walks and poise. But then again is “living mannequin" models still trending? Do they really have to be too skinny and walk in certain way? These are the questions that crosses my mind sometimes and I am sure you do wonder at times as well. It seems like things are changing a bit. As climate changes a few things make a shift of their own in the process.

Several decades have passed and knew concepts are welcomed by the universe. For instance, fuller figured / plus sized model are now the new big thing. Not shifting aside the, what we call “living mannequins" but given an opportunity to look at things with a different eye. The fashion arena concocting what they call “a new perspective” of their own and giving fuller figured women a chance to gain self-love and self-assurance.

This is not a most recent incident but it really got tongues wagging for a while. It was said that Dita Von Tess rejected 12 models for her Von Follies lingerie range because they were 'too skinny.' Apparently she said that she wanted to show all different types and more voluptuous girls.

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Model: Olwethu Twatwa Picture by: Sinehope productions Makeup by: Aviwe

Sanele Chintso

Model: Olwethu Twatwa Picture by: Sinehope productions Makeup by: Aviwe

Picture by: Sinehope productions Makeup by: Aviwe They gave a lot of models the axe for being too skinny, they probably turned away a dozen. She did that to show that curvaceous women and fuller-figured girls are also as beautiful and can be in good shape. Not Changing anything but she just had to make that point. Well done to her because her point wiped away a vail on the lot that did not see curved girls as beautiful. Anyone can be beautiful, petit, skinny plus sized, apple shaped, banana shaped we are all beautiful.

We tailed Sanele Cintso and Olwethu Twatwa and the crazy bunch of vivacious women who were selected for a photoshoot on one Saturday morning. The pair is fully involved in assisting young and older curvaceous women into loving and embracing their uniqueness. They started ‘Embrace Your Curves’ with the hope to empower women and instill self-love in individuals who have little or no love for their bodies.

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When we arrived at Happy Valley in Summerstrand on the photoshoot day we were received with warmth. The day started out eccentrically as they were gathering all the required tools to make the day a success. Whilst they were waiting for the make-up artist to do their make-up, I got an opportunity to get to know the ladies individually. Later on that day everything was ready and their make-up was done, and then the real work began.

They commenced with jeans and white tops and then traditional wear, finishing off with swim wear. Having spent the whole day with the ‘Embrace Your Curves’ ladies on their photoshoot day, I can affirm that these women are fond of who they are.

They are full of life, energy, zest and love in their big hearts.

I also got to know more about the visionaries of this initiative. I learned who they are and more about their future plans.

This initiative will give fuller figured women a platform express their feelings through lifestyle and fashion without having being judged nor looked down on.

Who is Sanele ?

I am Sanele Chintso, very ambitious, goal orientated and driven young man born in Grahamstown, Joza Location but currently studying and residing in Port Elizabeth. I am also the Director of Lulo Events, the company that is busy with preparations of this initiative.

What were you searching for when looking for fuller figured models?

Who is Olwethu?

We did not have any special requirements, we looked for fuller figured women who understood the vision behind this initiative and who eager to be part of this prestigious campaign.

Olwethu is a 24 year old woman born and bred in Port Elizabeth, Kwazakhele. A very humble and ambitious young woman.

We have managed to find confident, selfmotivated, passionate, responsible and eager women.

How did you come up with this idea?

What are your future plans regarding this initiative?

Well given the fact the fact that I was raised by my late mother Nomhle Chintso, have learnt to respect and appreciate women.

Secondly there are not many body activists I therefore saw a need to start this movement/campaign that will fight against sexual objectifications, societal fallacies and other body shaming statements against women. I then approached Olwethu whom has been eager to be the Voice and face for thick women More about this initiative The title behind this initiative is called “Embrace Your Curves’ (EYC), in a nutshell this initiative is about celebrating women and give them that sense of appreciation, fuller figured women to be precise. Women have become victims of various forms of abuse namely physical ,psychological and emotional abuse so with this campaign we aim to break that chain and create a culture of embracing your structural built and dismantling societal fallacies because they are often the root of many problem that we facing in our communities.

The aim is to grow this initiative and make it an annual event. Secondly, we want to create a culture of woman to woman empowerment and create a safe environment for all the women in and around the bay.

What is your take on societal labels on fuller figured women?

Fuller figured women have been called names some of which are very inhuman and violate their human dignity, another popular name would be “winter stock” as if being a plus size means you can be bought for winter days. According to Olwethu being a plus size doesn’t mean one should be undermined and labelled. In fact a plus size woman can fit into a pair of jeans and look way sexier. This initiative is going to prove those labels wrong.

Fuller figure women and the modelling world There are already thick models but there are very few of them but I can assure you that plus size models are the future of the modelling world.

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fashion

Fierce&Modest Elongate proportions with longed sleeved jumpsuit with a versatile structured Suede jacket , a mini jamebond girl look. Make sure your accessories have a little bit of metallic elements just to complement your jacket.

Incorporate colour accents with prints or patterned items. This red and grey jersey gives a final finish to this simple look.

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START YOUR OWN FASHION BLOG You’ve always received compliments for your extraordinary ability to put an outfit together, with enough style to rival the top 5 stylish celebrities in Mzansi (ok, maybe not NoMoozlie).But you reckon nobody makes grunge look chic on a budget like you do.

What better way to strut your stuff than the World Wide Web for all to see? Even though it may seem easy enough, starting a blog can be tricky. Choosing a catchy name for your blog, making sure it complements your persona and registering the name you find suitable. And then you have to decide whether you are going to build the blog from scratch, using the expertise of website developers or you are going to use good ole free WordPress. Daunting isn’t it?

Whichever route you choose, there are five most important things that can make or break your blogging career and are listed below.

Tips and tricks of the trade: Reason for starting a fashion blog: you need to be clear on your reason to start a fashion blog. Is it for fun, or do you plan to monetise it and actually make a career out of it? Once you have outlined your aims, set ways on how you are plan to achieve them.

Research: if you plan to make money out

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of blogging, then you should treat like a business.

Find out what’s being offered in the market, who are your competitors are and who the big players are and how they gain popularity.

Niche: fashion blogging is becoming a trend in South Africa, everyone fancies themselves style icon and just waiting to be discovered and blow up. You’ve got to have something unique and offer content that’s fresh and riveting.

Visibility: you may have the best content and actually have exceptional looks on your blog, but you need to make it available in all social media platforms. Use your social media accounts to promote your blog. Instagram and twitter are some of the best tools to create a considerable following. And Facebook is the biggest network there is, make the most of it.

Technic titbits: widgets and plugins are customising software solutions that will enhance the features of your blog. Things like calendar to document every content posted or use plugins to create a LookBook when you don’t feel like modelling chosen outfits.

Whatever you decide, make sure the layout is pleasing to the eye as it will serve as your runway ramp for you to showcase your fabulous fashion sense. So, set your best foot forward and slay!

By: Tsholofelo Mabona

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Fashion Insight

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By: Nomangwane Flatela

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Beauty

Skin nourishment hydrate and Nourish your most beautiful organ- your skin. Here are three steps to great looking skin.

1. Exfoliate.

This essential step helps remove dead skin cells, increase blood circulation and unclogs blocked pores and ingrown hair. You can use a rough sponge exfoliating products or add coarse salt to your body wash.

2. Deep treatment Apply a tissue oil or spray. This will help hydrate and soften your skin, making it more elastic and younger looking.

3. Finish off by applying moisturiser to lock in all the goodness.

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beauty

Pamper yourself

After a long day at work there is nothing you could want more than a spare hour just for relaxation. Before doing anything, be it you making yourself coffee or making dinner you have to relax a bit and pamper yourself. Well if you don’t mind cooking before relaxing that is fine, you will sleep like a baby. Here are few tips that could help you soothe your stiffness.

Lemon juice: Squeeze 5 to 6 drops into your running bath warm water. Slid through the bath tub and stay in for 20 minutes. This will live your skin relieved from tiredness and it will help tighten large pores Lavender oil: Soaking in a relaxing bath will help relieve tension knots that was build up over the course of a long stressful day. Run yourself a hot tub and pour just few drops of Lavender oil in the water.

That alone will live you relax, rejuvenated and revived.

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Honey: Pour a cup of honey into your bath while it's filling up, mixed it with powdered milk in your bath water. This will moisturize, soften and smooth dry skin and will leave you skin silky and soft.

Epsom: Soaking your feet in a warm Epsom salt bath can significantly reduce pain and swelling, especially if the pain is caused by muscle tension. The magnesium in the salt helps the muscles relax. Don't make the water too hot and don't soak in the bath for much more than 30 minutes because the salty water will pull fluid from your body and start to dehydrate you.

Foot massage: Get a massage therapist to give you a foot and calf massage. Massage reduces muscle tension and inflammation, helps break down scar tissue and promotes better blood flow.

Ask the therapist to use peppermint oil or cream on your feet because it will make them tingle and feel invigorating.

Always drink lots of water immediately following a massage in order to flush out inflammatory by-products, lactic acid, and toxins from your body. Failure to do so might cause a headache or mild nausea.

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We are also on facebook, our facebook page is Untied Magazine.

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Hair

If you suffer from hair breakage, make sure you do these things to help your strands recover. Deep Condition, lower the temperature on your styling products, use a heat protectant, use a detangler, skip the topknot, do treatments before/after color, sleep on silk/charmeuse pillowcases, comb your hair with conditioner on.

Dyed hair remedy –How to stop your hair from breaking and falling out: • Make sure you thoroughly rinse all the bleach and peroxide out of your hair and scalp with warm water.

• Blot excess water from hair, when hair is dry or damp apply olive oil to your hair and scalp.

• Completely saturate your hair and scalp and leave it on for at least three hours.

• Wrap your hair into a warm towel or shower cap to keep your hair warm for absorbing the olive oil after at least 3 hours, rinse your hair with warm water only. Allow your hair to dry naturally. You should now have stronger hair that won’t break and a healthy, freshly breathing scalp.

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ADVERTSISE HERE For all your adverts please call 078 7920 063 or drop us an email : sugarlme@yahoo.com We are also on facebook, our facebook page is Untied Magazine.

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Are you searching for a new job? Here Are few pointers to the right direction Searching for a new job can be a daunting and exhausting task. It’s important to stay motivated, and to use every tip and trick that you can think of.

Here are five tips to help you on your job hunt.

1. Clean up your social media accounts. Bad Facebook and Twitter comments and pictures can haunt you. Be careful what you post because employers will check. You should delete anything you would not want a potential employer to see.

2. Link up with a friend who is also job hunting. Arrange to speak weekly and chat about your accomplishments, frustrations, and future plans. This will help you feel less alone and more motivated in your job search.

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3. Read the job advert carefully before applying, and follow all the instructions exactly. You don’t want to not be considered because you missed something, and failed to submit all the requirements.

4. When meeting potential employers, remember that a first impression is made in less than 30 seconds. Focus on having confident, open body language, and coming across as friendly and professional.

5. Make sure that you are punctual for job interviews. Aim to arrive 10 minutes early. One of the biggest etiquette mistakes a job-seeker can make is arriving late. If you are not sure how long it will take you to get there, test out the route days before your interview, so you are prepared.

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10 Signs You Are Financially Stable

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eople often spend most of their lives chasing financial stability.

But is it possible that you may already be financially stable?

Or is it possible that you might be drowning yourself in debt and can’t afford anything? Well here are 27 signs that you’re financially stable – already!

And if you’re not, you can start working to make a lot of these a reality in your life.

1. You Never Overdraw Your Checking Account Even if you have overdraft protection with your checking account, you still prefer to keep a cushion in your account, rather than relying on the protection. And you absolutely, positively, never bounce a check!

Part of it has to do with your aversion to paying overdraft fees. But mostly, it’s because you have a sufficient amount of money that you can keep more in your checking account then you need in a typical month.

How could you, Jeff? You're a Certified Financial Planner!

2. You’re Never Late with Payments This is partially because you always have plenty of money to pay your bills, but also because of your preference for being ahead of your finances, rather than behind.

This is also a big reason why you don’t lose sleep over your finances.

When you go to bed at night, you know that your bills are paid, and all is right for world.

3. You’re Generally Happy with Your Financial Situation This doesn’t mean that your financial situation is completely perfect, but rather that your finances are in balance, and you are satisfied with the direction that things are heading. Even if you have financial challenges over the horizon, you have some sort of plan set up to deal with it before it comes. That’s all anyone can do – and you’ve already got it covered.

4. You Have No Ugly Credit Card Balances It’s not at all unusual for people who have high incomes and a large amount of financial assets to also carry great big, ugly credit card balances. That’s not a game that you play. You absolutely refuse to carry credit card balances that can’t be paid off relatively quickly. And that keeps you from paying high interest rates, and from losing sleep at night.

5. You Finance Your Cars Over Five Years or Less – If You Take Loans at All Even though there are car loans available as far out as seven years, you keep your car loans to five years or less. Or you pay cash for your cars, or you pay them off ahead of schedule.

That means that you won’t live your life carrying a perpetual car loan payment. That also means that when you buy a new car, it’s

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very likely that you’ll be making a larger than average down payment on it – which is why you take shorter loans in the first place.

8. You Can Afford to Buy the Things You Really Want

6. You Contribute a Double-Digit Percentage of Your Pay to Retirement

If you really want something, you go out and buy it. Your finances are strong enough to enable you to get those things that you really want.

Many, many people contribute nothing more than the minimum percentage that they need in order to get the maximum employer match on their retirement contributions.

But that’s not a game that you play.

You recognize the importance of aggressive retirement investing as a critical part of becoming financially stable. You either make the maximum retirement contribution that you’re allowed, or your contribution is well into double digits percentages.

And because you do, early retirement is actually a legitimate consideration in your life.

Investing and feeling good about it has never been easier with great online brokerage tools such as Betterment. Learn more about them on our Betterment Review page.

7. You Don’t Feel Guilty when you’re Out for Special Occasions Everybody has episodes were they spend a little bit too much money. This can happen on special occasions, such as birthdays, holidays, vacations, and other celebrations.

But for you, these events are not budget busters. You have enough flexibility built into your budget that you can accommodate the occasional spending spree without having too much month at the end of your paycheck.

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This isn’t at all about impulse spending on an ongoing basis, but rather about having enough room in your budget to get the things that you really want. In that way, money doesn't rule you.

9. You’re a Natural Saver This is one of the key habits in becoming financially stable – and it’s one that you mastered a long time ago. You’ve been doing it so long and so well, that you are virtually a natural saver. You can do it with a sense of purpose, and without ever feeling any pangs of self-denial.

10. You Feel In Control of Your Finances Overall, you have a strong sense that you are in control your finances. This means that when it comes to money, you have choices.

And since money creates options in life, you have more than the average person.

This is what being financially stable is all about, and what the ultimate goal of it should be. Being able to do what you want, when you want, and on your own terms.

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CHEESE AND POTATO SOUP Ingredients 4 potatoes, peeled and quartered 1 small carrot, finely chopped 1/2 stalk celery, finely chopped 1 small onion, minced 1 1/2 cups vegetable broth 1 teaspoon salt 2 1/2 cups milk 3 tablespoons butter, melted 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon dried parsley 1 teaspoon ground black pepper 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese Add all ingredients to list

Method In a large saucepan, bring potatoes, carrots, celery, onion, vegetable broth and salt to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer until potatoes are just tender. Do not rinse: mash mixture slightly. Stir in milk. In a small mixing bowl, blend butter, flour, parsley, and pepper; stir into potato mixture. Cook and stir over medium heat until thickened and bubbly. Remove from heat: add cheese and stir until cheese is almost melted. Let soup stand for 5 minutes.

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Pork chops with maple roasted vegetables Create a meal the whole family will enjoy with these succulent pork chops served with sticky maple roasted vegetables.

INGREDIENTS 500g packet Coles Roasting Vegetables with Garlic & Rosemary 2 tablespoons olive oil 4 Coles Australian Pork Forequarter Chops 400g brussels sprouts, halved 2 green apples, cored, halved, thickly sliced 1/4 cup (60ml) maple syrup Rosemary leaves, to sprinkle Select all ingredients ADD TO SHOPPING LISTSHOP INGREDIENTS NOW

METHOD Preheat oven 200C. Combine roasting vegetables and oil in a large baking dish.

Roast for 30 minutes. Meanwhile, heat an oiled chargrill over high heat. Cook pork for 2 minutes each side or until just browned. Add brussels sprout, apple and pork to dish.

Drizzle with maple syrup. Bake for 20 minutes or until vegetables are tender and pork is cooked through. Season pork and vegetables and sprinkle with rosemary to serve.

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wellness

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Fitting in is not an option: you were born to stand out Not everything is suitable for the whole world! Just because every Tom and Jerry is doing it that doesn’t mean it’s obligatory for me to dive in and play cat and mouse. Unlike others, I really don't think I have to follow every trend or do what everyone in society is doing just to fit in.

I may feel bold and confident about my decision but I have noticed that in many groups there will always be that one girl who would feel the need to fit in. she is that girl who is undermined by her peers, you can never miss her out. There is totally nothing wrong with her but she just doesn't feel like she is part of the crew. She feels like her friends are doing her a favour to be on the group. That she will actually be a no body if she were not to hang out with them. You can actually see it through her body language whenever they have conversations. Her insecurities wail louder than a pair of smelly armpits, she can’t pretend.

Believe me you, her friends try everything in their power to make her feel less important and less beautiful. Though she doesn’t want to be a carbon-copy of every shopping centre mannequin that doesn't mean she doesn’t have good taste when it comes to apparel.

But because she doesn't prefer the same style as her peers, they ridicule her. She is miss interpreted by others because they never learned to be their own person so when someone does they react negatively.

Some react noxiously because of their own insecurities and several because they lack understanding or knowledge of what fashion is.

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I really wonder, if you are trying to please your friends how is it benefiting you? I really do not think it is beneficiary. I think it is more painful than how Cinderella’s step sister’s feet were when they were trying on her lost shoe.

Cinderella's step sisters felt discomfort when trying out her tiny little shoe and I think trying to fit in is the same.

Following every fashion trend does not make you a fashion guru. To me fashion is not as important, style is. Yes we take fashionable items and create style out of them, but there is a fine line between the two and most people tend to miss that point.

Come to think of it, your uniqueness is what sets you apart from others. If you are that girl who is ridiculed because of you ostentatious look, take a pause and consider your associates.

It does you no good to befriend hypocrites and the little precious soul you hold will gradually die. Stick to what makes you feel better and to what makes you complete. Do not let people’s opinion change your facts about who you are and about what works for you.

Take note friend: there can never be a better you ever in this lifetime. God made you especially for his Glory. Take pride in his creation. Take pride in who and how he made you. Take pride in the creativity that he has blessed you with. Take pride in your uniqueness.

You fitting in was never on his plan. He loves you and wants you to do you and not be somebody else he didn’t create.

By: introvert.com

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ntied Entertainment

Ambitious business tycoon, Zimele “Ngcolosi�

Mkhize/ Bhengu, has his heart set on becoming South Africa's first Black Oil Baron, a legacy he wants to leave to his four children. But things take an unanticipated turn when he makes a scandalous discovery – he is in fact infertile, and none of the children he is building his empire for are his biological

seed, but rather the result of a union between his wife and brother orchestrated by his mother.

Will the truth tear his life and family apart or will he suffer silently and pass his legacy on to another man's seed? Only time will tell! Do not miss this thought-provoking and enigmatic TV series which is broadcast from Monday to Friday at 21:00.

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HERE Kayasante@Hotmail.co.za 078 792 0063

Out every month

Connect your mind body and soul in what ever you do and you will see flames