Setting Realistic Resolutions
“E
verything changes NOW!” bark those ambitious New Year’s resolutions. Your mind snaps to attention but then shifts into foggy overwhelm as it considers the drastic changes you’ll have to implement immediately, and then your eyes glaze over. Sound familiar? After so many years of feeling the pressure to come up with some great thing to change, I’m not a huge fan. Instead, I like to think of the goals I want to achieve in the new year. We parents have things we want to do for our family and with our family. We also want to be good role models for our kids and teach them good habits and life skills. How do we go about doing this? First, we have to start implementing these habits in our own lives. Kids naturally watch what we do and take it as an example of what they should do themselves. Let’s start with expectations. We can’t keep ourselves on track and keep moving forward if we don’t know what our expectations for our own yearly goals are. As we have well learned by now, life changes and throws curveballs at us. This means our goals will most likely have to shift around at some point to fit where our lives are going. I used to be so strict with myself that if something didn’t go perfectly in line with how it started and how I imagined it, I was done. New goal! I’ve learned that in order to make something happen, I have to adjust and pivot to deal with whatever comes at
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me. I’m sure lot of people can relate with being your own worst critic and being overly hard on yourself. Well, I’ve also learned to expect something will happen to throw me off, but I also expect to roll with the changes and learn to fit my goal into wherever I am at that moment. I give myself grace and a little pat on the back for not giving up. After all, I still want to make those things happen, even if things look a little different in the end. Parents, what goals do you have for yourselves for the year? Even if we do manage our kids, there are still things we want to do personally. Having and sharing goals also shows our kids we are more than just a mom or dad. We are our own people, too. These goals don’t have to be lofty and large undertakings. They might be as simple as finally finishing a photo album or redoing a part of the house. Even small goals require lots of tedious steps and some time to accomplish. Come up with the small, manageable steps to get those projects done and start to take action. Action is key. Sit down as a family and talk about what everyone wants to make happen over the year. If your kids are old enough to provide input, I suggest letting them do that. We humans tend to feel more valued and want to participate more when we have input into decision making. In my personal experience, we also take more responsibility.
