YOU MATTER

{ SHIFT+CONTROL{ YOU MATTER } } MAY YOUR POWER OF ONE BE WITH YOU

Recently I have immersed myself in listening to one of my favorite podcast’s “The Happiness Lab” with Dr. Laurie Santos. There are some new episodes so with glee I have been listening to them over and over and over and over. I do have a tendency to repeatedly listen (or watch) something I like. Sometimes perhaps a wee bit too much, yet this is how I roll. The past few days I have listened to an episode titled the “Kindness of Strangers.”

Part of the episode explored the bystander actions when Kitty Genovese who was murdered in 1964. It was reported at the time that there were 38 bystanders who did nothing to help. Yet when Kitty’s older brother went back years later he found that many people tried to help. Another part of the episode explored research regarding bystanders and what propels them into a helping action. Researchers found that giving people to permission to help, along with the expectation to be kind, made a difference in people taking actions to help strangers. Researchers found that people want to help. They do want to take actions to help those around them.

Being in a crowd of people can have an impact on whether or not we take an action to help. Studies have shown with more people help is less likely to occur unless, as Ken Brown states in “The bystander effect is complicated -here’s why” TEDxUIowa, “when ONE person actively helps then people are more likely to be in a position to aid further. People become more likely to help.” One person can be the catalyst for unlocking others frozen in the uncertainty swirling in their thoughts of what to do, is it okay to do something, perhaps someone else will do something,

BY JUDI SWANSON

mindset in that moment. One person can do all of that.

Another way one person can initiate positivity is with gratitude. The psychology of being thankful and sharing thanks can create a ripple of good. According to Greater Good Magazine by Berkely.Edu “researchers studying gratitude found that being thankful and expressing it to others is good for our health and happiness. Not only does it feel good, it also helps us build trust and closer bonds with the people around us. These benefits have mostly been observed in a two-person exchange—someone saying thanks and someone receiving thanks. A recent study suggests that expressing gratitude not only improves one-on-one relationships, but could bring entire groups together—inspiring a desire to help and connect in people who simply witness an act of gratitude.”

Your actions of gratitude and thanks, being on the receiving end of gratitude and thanks, has the potential to bring groups of people to together, inspire a desire to help, because someone witnessed gratitude and thank you in action. You can do all of that.

As I reflected upon the events going on in the world along with events occurring around me I noticed how often it was one person’s action that was the catalyst for other people joining in to help. One person’s action helped to defrost the frozenness of other’s around them, propelling groups of people into positive, supporting, helping, and actions.

What does this mean for me and for you? It means the actions we take count. What we do matters. We can be “the change we want to see in the world” by showing kindness and caring for our fellow humans. If we are in a situation where something not good is occurring, our personal actions can help others to follow and help. While we share the uncertainty of what to do, or should we do anything, taking a helpful action for another person who appears to be struggling is the right thing to do. I have had moments where I knew I wanted to help someone in distress, yet felt uncomfortable or frightened to do so. The times I pushed through that fear to help felt so much better that the times I did nothing. Think of it this way. If you are wondering whether or not you want, or should, be doing something to help and support another person, means you want to do something otherwise you would not be thinking about it. You are wanting to take an action. Perhaps you need to follow what your heart is telling you to do.

Leading the way in showing gratitude to others creates ripples of goodness all around you. Expressing gratitude, which as Dr. Robert Emmons professor of psychology at the University of California states “is an active process of acknowledging goodness and recognizing the source” It can seem like doing this is a small thing. For any of you who have played Jenga you know there can be that unexpected piece that can hold everything up or let all the Jenga pieces crumble. You just never know whose life you might change by the actions you take. If you want things to change in your life, in the world in which we live, you have the power to be that change.

May your power of one be with you.