CHERRY RAE

When I initially sat down to write this article, I could not think of what I wanted to say…because how do you write a story on the backs of so many who have had to struggle ahead of you to get what you received so easily. In this article, I wanted to be able to adequately discuss my pain and struggle, while also correctly remembering my privilege. I want to be able to ignite an important conversation about the imperative aspects of women’s healthcare, while also advocating for body positivity and gender expression, and equality. But where do I even start? So, I guess I’ll start at the beginning.

Growing up, no matter where you looked, from ad campaigns to pop culture, to family members, the emphasis on having large breasts was everywhere. We were constantly conditioned to think that we were only aesthetically appealing if everything else about us as women was small, except for what we grow on our chests and if you were lacking in that area, don’t worry, the beauty world was there to help. We had every option to enlarge and enhance our breasts from boob jobs to padded bras, I think we can all remember when the wonder bra came out. The bigger they appeared, the more praise we received.

I fell victim to this myself as well. I was an early bloomer, so it was constantly speculated how big mine would grow to be, because the women on my mother’s side had larger breasts, while the women on my father’s side were smaller. I was always athletic and was into sports, so I truly never wanted them to get very big – and I always emulated celebrities that did not have a big display so to speak – Sporty Spice, P!nk, Fergie, etc. But, when it didn’t appear that they would get very large, my mother was very open to buying me padded and push-up bras until one day I finally sprouted larger breasts of my own. I fed into this beauty standard for years. Finally, I couldn’t do it anymore.

I always envied men for never having to worry about how their chests looked in a shirt and could just throw something on and go. I wanted that same freedom, but I was always reminded that I have boobs and I need to make them look acceptable and presentable. Over the years, we’ve started seeing movements geared toward a discarding of bras and covering up our upper private parts because finally women were fed up with being sexualized against their will for parts they cannot control if they have or don’t. And god forbid if someone says they want a reduction either for aesthetic reasons or to alleviate pain, everyone and their mother has an opinion on why that person is making a mistake. Lest we forget, our bodies our not our own, they belong to everyone else who doesn’t have to live in them.

This brings me to the core of my story. A few years ago, I started to experience intense breast pain on and off every so often. When I went to my doctor, they sent me for some tests and they told me that it was just dense breast tissue and I probably had a fibroid and there was nothing to be done, or it was blamed on my hormones – take some painkillers and wait it out. This continued over the next few years, always with the same answers until this last year when I had almost every woman’s worst fear…I felt a lump in my breast. I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN immediately and had them take a look at it and they felt something too. They sent me to get a mammogram and an ultrasound at Windsong and that was a day that I will never forget. I got checked in and they brought me back for the ultrasound. They said they didn’t see anything and wanted to send me home.

I asked about the mammogram that my doctor had also sent orders for. They didn’t feel it was necessary and because of my age, didn’t want to risk the radiation. I refused to leave until they did that test as well because I knew I had dense breast tissue, and they wouldn’t find anything on just the ultrasound. I insisted they follow the script given by my OB. Reluctantly they listened and brought me back to the machine. They did the scan and lo and behold they found the lump that I had been complaining about. They then wanted to run additional scans and tests. I was in that office for four hours with the worst anxiety of my life, calling my mom to let her know what was going on, close to tears but trying to keep it together until I knew for sure what was happening. Finally, they brought me in to see the doctor to discuss my scans. I was dismissed.

She told me I had several fibroids and an adenoma but there was nothing for her to do. I walked away, no biopsy, no follow-up, nothing. I experienced intense pain in my chest every single day shortly after that point for months. It got to the point where I couldn’t wear a bra, or even stand to be touched in the slightest way. I called my OB to let them know and to ask what I should do. They said there was nothing else they could do besides send me for more tests, but if I really wanted to, I could talk to Roswell. Throughout having all of this pain, I began looking into double mastectomies and top surgery.

After a lot of self-reflection and soulsearching, I really broke down my own beauty standards and what I want my body to look like. More importantly, how I have always seen myself. If you know me, you know I dress in a more androgynous way depending on what the day calls for. I can feel my sexiest in a pair of slacks and a button-down with dress shoes, just as much as I can in a bodycon dress and heels. One outfit was always ruined by my having large breasts. I came to realize that always hated having them and if I could make them go away, I would. I started looking around on social media and began to find a whole host of people in the same boat as I was, who in fact had undergone or were undergoing gender-affirming top surgery. But it wasn’t to be able to transition from female to male but to affirm their gender nonbinary status and be able to present how they want on any given day. I realized that I wanted to be able to do that as well. I had a couple of major drawbacks from being able to fulfill that want, however.

For one, I am marketed as a plus-size curvy model. One of the hallmarks of that body standard is being bodacious and voluptuous in all of the important places. How could I still model in the area of fashion I love if I was lacking in that area? Second, I come from a very traditional family, who has had to have their minds open to a lot of things simply because of me and how I live my life and express myself. Some of it just gets swept under the rug at times, but some of it causes fights varying in their levels of seriousness and anger. What would happen after this? It would not just be something that could be ignored or forgotten about because it would be a glaring physical difference every single day. Lastly, what would my partner think? The person who was attracted to my body as it was and loved my breasts. Would they still find me attractive? Would they choose to leave? I decided to put breast removal out of my head for the time being. Until finally, I was not left with much other option. In August of 2022, the pain had become sharp and unbearable. I called Roswell. they brought me in right away. I sat down with the breast specialist and told her everything about the pain and the scans and my previous doctors. She performed her own tests and exams.

The adenoma had grown to large to stay where it was and the fibroids on the other side were getting a little too big as well. The best course of action was removal. She left for a minute to look at my insurance options. When she came back, she told me that my insurance did not cover the removal of the masses, but it did cover genderaffirming top surgery. I was then faced with a dilemma of identity, one of which I would never have had to deal with if women’s health was taken seriously and covered the removal of fibroids and adenomas, which if left untreated, could cause cancer or lead to an obstruction of the mammary glands or milk ducts.

I had to make a choice. She could tell I was internally struggling with what to do, so she asked me a very point-blank question, do your breasts make you uncomfortable in your body? I sat there and thought about my body image and how I liked to dress and remembered the realization I had of wishing they had never developed, and I answered yes. At that point, she set me up with a counselor at Evergreen Health to discuss the surgery, to discuss if I was mentally and physically healthy enough to get the surgery and the possibility of having gender dysphoria and if this surgery would work to correct those feelings. We met three times and we came to the conclusion that having this surgery was the best course of action for me and will provide me the relief that I desperately needed on multiple fronts. I would finally have my freedom and have it be medically necessary.

It is here that I would like to take a moment to recognize my immense privilege because I don’t want to make light of it or gloss over it. I have fully aware that thousands of people every single day who also need this surgery do not have it covered by any insurance or by their state depending on where they live. They are forced to pay out pocket, forcing themselves into debt or having to try to get donations to cover it, or having to go without it and continue to struggle mentally and physically. They are forced to bind their chests and look in the mirror and feel dysphoria every single day, while mine was simply covered, although not under the reasons it should have been. We as a community need to have a deeper discussion and movement to advance not only women’s healthcare and insurance options but also gender-affirming care and health treatment options. I hope to be a part of this work and leading voice.

Now I had to tell everyone. First up was my partner. He was not relieved at the thought of me having surgery in general but ultimately wanted to me to be healthy and feel better. I was full isclosure with him about the therapy sessions and the insurance coverage. That conversation was not as pleasant. He did have some concerns that I would later choose to do a full transition. I had to assure him that was not the case here. It caused a few arguments here and there but ultimately; he stayed and supported me and has loved me through the whole thing. Next, I told my co-workers and friends.

They were all concerned for my health and well-being, but very supportive and encouraging. I could not have asked for a better support system. Lastly, I told my mother because I knew she would be the hardest conversation. Ultimately, I left out the part about what exactly the insurance was covering and it being classified as gender-affirming surgery because as far as my doctor and I were concerned, it was really a full double mastectomy for preventative care to stop the pain and prevent a developing cancer. And that is exactly what I told her. That conversation alone with it being medically necessary caused its own set of arguments. She was concerned that I would regret getting them removed, that there had to be another way or other options. I tried to assure her that there were not, that the mass was too big and too deep to do anything else. If nothing else, I didn’t want to be concaved or lopsided. Oddly enough, bringing the physical appearance of it into play seemed to appease her.

She did however very quickly ask, as did other family members if I would do reconstruction or implants. I very soundly said no, as it not only would that mean more surgeries outside of the second one I was warned I may need to have after a few months in order to revise anything or remove further tissues, but implants could cause their own set of problems. Also, I just wanted to be free of boobs once and for all. And honestly, I have never been happier. I quickly threw out every single bra, cami, and bralette I ever owned and discarded every article of clothing I had that was purchased to accommodate my breast size. I was so relieved and throwing on a button-down for the first time after healing, was the most affirming thing I have ever experienced. There was just one question left, how do I still model?

While I was so thrilled with all of the new clothing possibilities that suddenly opened up to me, I still had to learn what would now work for this new body of mine as I am still plus-sized from the ribcage down. I took the last couple of months to really ponder and grasp that. I honestly thought I might just retire from the whole thing. I quickly realized that that wasn’t going to work for me and I would need to not only full embrace this new me, but also make others want to do the same. There needs to be a voice for this body type and this experience. Why shouldn’t it be me? I can show the world and the community, I am more than just my breasts, and so are all of you.

~Cherry

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

I am a lover of God, family, fashion, and travel. I was born and raised in Rochester, New York. I have always had a love of travel and helping others since I was a little girl. Having taken my first trip to Myrtle Beach at 8 years old, I quickly became a lover of all things travel and beaches.

I am a mother of three: two sons and a daughter. At a very young age, I began introducing them to travel. From cruises to Disney vacations to Thailand to Paris, they have experienced travel in all aspects. With over 30 states, 20 countries, 6 continents, and countless cities under my belt, I truly has a passion for travel.

I also own several rental properties. I love to buy homes, fix them up and rent them out. I thoroughly enjoy the process from beginning to end. My goal is to purchase 1 unit every year. Besides traveling, Tarshia enjoys spending time with family. She also loves interior decorating, party planning, reading, and scrapbooking. She also has a passion for swimwear. After 4 years of planning and prayer, she will be launching Swim by Shanai in 2022.

I attended Clark Atlanta University, Saint John Fisher College, and LaSalle University, ultimately obtaining my Bachelor of Science in business administration and my Master of Science in Human Capital Development. I have worked in human resources for over 15 years in high level positions ranging from nonprofit to education to global organizations. In 2019, I launched HR University, an organization that helps individuals with resume writing, interviewing tips, and more. I also help businesses from startup forms to compliance to training. Please visit hruniversity.org for more information. Tired of the workplace “shenanigans”, I made a tough decision to fire my boss and began the journey of entrepreneurship.

What made you decide to open your own business Skyhigh Society?

Travel is an 8 trillion-dollar industry projected to be 15 trillion in the next 10 years. It is most searched on the website, one where you can have the most fun and one that allows you to create lasting memories. It’s an industry that all other industries rely on, and even during a pandemic, essential travel still took place. I love to travel so I turned my passion into profit.

What makes you hustle? What does the word “hustle” mean to you? My children make me hustle. To me, the word “hustle” simply means, staying dedicated and consistent to the process. Having a consistent DMO (daily method of operation) is critical. This means learning everything you can, making sacrifices, and not giving up. To hustle means to want to be great, not good. It means to work extremely hard, smart and with a sense of urgency. Whatever your goal is, you can accomplish it if you hustle.

What is Sky High Society? How did you come up with the name for your business?

Although the journey wasn’t easy, it was well worth it. In less than 2 years, I was able to grow her travel business to six figures, focusing on helping other began their financial freedom. In October of 2020, I began teaching others how to become successful travel agents and run and operate their own travel agency. In less than 1 year, I helped over 100 people start their journey. I am a firm believer in helping others succeed.

Sky High Society was created and founded by me, Tarshia Shanai. I have always had a love for travel, traveling to different states as a child and as I got older, I began traveling to different countries. In 2016, I planned a birthday trip to Thailand. It started with 8 women and ended up with me traveling alone. I began posting pictures on social media and others began inquiring wondering if they can travel with me or plan a trip for them. This is where the creation of hat will soon be Sky High Society.

Our first grip trip was to Dubai, where 7 women from different states met up in New York and flew out to Dubai. Since then, we have been to several other countries. We are now selling out most of our trips, with Bali selling out in record time in less than 24 hours.

We allow you to check off those breathtaking destinations off your bucket list. Furthermore, our standing relationships with tour companies, resorts and hotels enable us to negotiate and create the best experiences. We don’t just hire a third-party company. Sky High Society puts in the footwork, does the research to provide an experience and yes, it is truly an EXPERIENCE. If you are traveling with us soon, you will have the opportunity and pleasure to meet Tarshia or some of the most incredible travel coordinators.

Since opening, we have consistently been in the top 100. As of today, we are number 56 out of 78,000 agents. We have also received countless awards including Travel Guru, Top Builder, ACE Award, Fireball Award and many others. We have also been recognized as Top Agents from ALG Group, United Vacations, American Airlines Vacations, and more.

Our experiences are a mix of leisure time, cultural experiences, sightseeing, nightlife and more. Many have said that Sky High Society pushes you to the limit. Are you ready?

Who are some of the strong women

that you feel have inspired you?

The strong women who have inspired me are my mother and my sisters. My mother has always been a hard worker and have instilled important values and morals in me. My sisters have all inspired me: from overcoming obstacles, being resilient, teaching me certain skills, and supporting and motivating me.

What would you consider your travel specialty?

My travel specialty is the Caribbean, group travel, luxury/bucket list destinations, cruises and Disney vacations.

Caribbean- I am a Jamaica Specialist, Aruba Expert, Dominican Republic Specialist, amongst many others.

Group Travel- I have booked countless group trips. As of today, we have booked over 634 travelers within group trips. Whether it’s a bachelorette party, girl trip, guys trip, wedding, divorce party, or birthday trip, we would love to assist you. Luxury Destinations- if you are looking for butler service, swim up suites, concierge services or a private pool, we have the experience and capability to do it all.

Cruises- we are CLIA (Cruise Line International Association) certified). We have booked countless cruises. Whether you’re looking for an adult only cruise, luxury cruise, Disney cruise, family cruise or overseas cruise, you’ve come to the right place!

Disney Vacations- I am a graduate of the College of Disney and have the tools and resources to provide you with the best Disney experience.

Where has been your favorite place to visit and why?

This is always a very hard question for me to answer as I have traveled all over the world. If I had to choose, it will be Thailand. I even took my children back after I visited. It’s one of my favorite places because of the experiences. I was able to bottle feed a baby lion, feed giraffes’ bananas, and bathe with the elephants. It also has beautiful beaches, rich culture, and amazing street food.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally.

Some of my goals is to help more individuals start their travel business. I have helped over 100 people start their own travel business, and hope to double that by the end of the year. In addition, I plan to launch my online clothing boutique within the next year, invest in 2 more rental properties this year, and relaunch my HR business next year. One of my other goals is to open a homeless shelter and a nonprofit organization for young girls.

What are some of the pros and cons of owning your own travel agency?

There are many pros to owning your own travel agency. Some of these pros include working from home as it’s a home-based business. However, you are not bound to your home. You can work on the beach or on the airplane. You also have flexibility- you can set your own hours and put in as much time as you’d like. The startup cost and overhead cost is extremely low. You also have control of your workload as you can choose and pick the clients you work with. In addition, there’s unlimited income potential and you have access to 8 streams of income. You are in business for yourself, but not by yourself. Whether you are starting this as a hobby or a part-time business, you will earn commission on everything that you book including activities/ excursions, vacation packages, hotels, vacation rentals, and more. The best part about it is that you can get paid for booking your own travel as well.

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Some of the cons is starting entrepreneurship. If you are new to entrepreneurship, it can seem overwhelming initially. However, once you get over the learning curve, it’s a breeze. Another con is getting out of your comfort zone.

If you could do one thing you have never done what would it be and why?

One thing that I have never done is skydiving. I am very adventurous and have done countless experiences and excursions. However, I have never done skydiving and it’s one of my last bucket list items. I am excited for the thrill.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten ?

One piece of advice that I have been given that I have never forgotten is to treat yourself every time you get paid. You don’t want to work and not reward yourself. My father told me this at 15 and I’ve never forgotten it. He also told me to save something every time I get paid.

On the contrary, one piece of advice that I give is “when you are tired, learn to rest, not to quit!”

What’s the most important risk you ever taken? Would you do it again?

The most important risk I ever taken was leaving my corporate job to start my journey of entrepreneurship. I absolutely would do it again. With this being said, I wouldn’t recommend jumping right in until you’ve had a proven business model. I recommend building up your business before fully transitioning.

Professionally, I am constantly taking trainings, visiting hotels/resorts so I can provide a better experience for my clients and to be able to provide them feedback based on a” hands on” experience. I have traveled extensively and have done tons of training and research so that I am knowledgeable.

Where is one place you want to visit and why?

One place I want to visit is the Maldives. I want to relax and rejuvenate. I want to experience the overwater bungalows, white sand beaches and beautiful turquoise waters. I am planning to go in 2 years.

What is the most popular travel package right now?

The most popular travel packages are to Europe, Bali, and the Caribbean.

What do you feel makes your business unique and sets you apart from the competition?

How do you continue to constantly grow both personally and professionally? I continue to grow both personally and professionally on an ongoing basis. Personally, I am a firm believer of selfcare. Self-care is extremely important. Also, having a work/life balance is critical if you have a family.

What makes my business unique and sets me apart from the competition is in addition to holding many accreditations and being accredited by the BBB, Sky High Society also offers a 110% price match guarantee. We guarantee the lowest price and will match any price with the same itinerary. If we are unable to, we will give you 10% of the difference.

Furthermore, we are in the business of helping other travelers save on travel, thus helping over 100 people start their own travel business. This is a great accomplishment because less than 30 people out of 78,000 has reached this

Consequently, we provide an experience. We allow you to check off those breathtaking destinations off your bucket list. Furthermore, our standing relationships with tour companies, resorts and hotels enable us to negotiate and create the best experiences. We don’t just hire a third-party company. Sky High Society puts in the footwork, does the research to provide an experience and yes, it is truly an EXPERIENCE.

Next, we have consecutively produced over half a million in sales year after year. Documentation beats conversation.

Lastly, we give back. We do an annual passport giveaway to allow others to explore the world and we do an annual scholarship giveaway.

What do you think is the biggest problem facing young entrepreneurs, especially females today?

The biggest problem facing young entrepreneurs today is not networking. Networking can provide entrepreneurs with valuable resources, support and opportunities that can help them succeed. Entrepreneurs who are willing to invest time and effort into building a network will see the benefits in the long run.

Networking is valuable to any business professional but especially entrepreneurs. When starting out, an entrepreneur’s network can open doors to critical opportunities, knowledge, and support that can be the difference between a venture that succeeds and one that fails.

What is one piece of advice you would give someone currently looking to book a vacation?

One piece of advice I would give someone currently looking to book a vacation is to have realistic expectations. For example, going on all-inclusive vacation to Jamaica for 7 days, 6 nights for $1000 is unrealistic.

Where will we see you next?

Next, you will see possibly a travel podcast or me having a column on travel in a magazine. One thing you will also see me doing is travel.

Travel to Live. Live to Travel.

“

To me, the word

“HUSTLE” simply means, staying dedicated and consistent to the process. Having a CONSISTENT DMO (daily method of operation) is critical. This means learning everything you can, making SACRIFICES, and not giving up. ”