TAMMY’S TIDBITS

FRIENDSHIP

Friends, we all have them. Some more than others, but why do we have them? What is the very definition of a friend?

In the dictionary it states “It is a person that has a strong liking for and trust in another person.” I have to admit, the friends I have I do trust.

But did you ever wonder how a friendship came to be? What was so special about that person to have your initial acquaintance turn into a friendship?

Let’s start at the beginning. It seems it was easier to make friends growing up. Again, easier for some, not all. But don’t you find as we get older, it seems to get harder to make new friends? Why?

Perhaps because we are no longer thrown into a group with similar backgrounds or common interests. But does that theory really hold up?

I know for me, I have a variety of friends. Different ages, backgrounds and a variety of interests. I have friends due to Horror conventions, friends from school, friends who ride motorcycles, friends at the Renaissance Fairs, neighbors, even tellers and cashiers. All I consider friends.

And yet there are still many people in all of those different interests who I do not consider friends. Not that I don’t like them or cannot interact with them, it’s just we don’t have the same connection I feel with the ones I do consider friends.

BY TAMMY VREELAND

question: why is that? What makes that connection? I think it has a lot to do with the very definition of being a friend “… trust in another person.”

It does seem to be harder to trust people the older we get. Perhaps because of the chances we took on ones we couldn’t trust. Who, in turn, gave us a reason not to trust.

But how do you know this new acquaintance will be different? That this chance meeting could turn into a strong friendship? Where both of you are leery of taking a chance again.

I think that question is already answered for us. That being attracted to this person to begin with already opened the door for the inevitable.

Did you ever have a good friendship that you can’t remember when it developed into one? That it’s hard for you to pinpoint that moment in time because it seems the friendship was always there?

Aren’t they the best? Is it because they are so rare and unique that makes them the best? Being grateful for having such a friendship is one thing, but realizing you can have even more is another.

You may wonder, where am I going with this? It may surprise you that I am actually encouraging you to seek out even more of those types of friendships! Those special bonds.

But why? If you are happy with the group of friends you have, why would you need more? Because I truly believe you can never have too many friends! That surrounding yourself with people you call your friends is an armor against life’s challenges. With having different types of friends of different ages, races, religions, whatever the case, gives you an edge to coping with life!

Unfortunately, friends come and go through our lives for a number of reasons, but the concept of knowing you can reach out to them at any time for whatever reason still gives you the comfort you have when you can be with them.

A true friendship has no term limits. It shouldn’t fade in time. Circumstances shouldn’t change its bond. If anything, that type of friendship is even more comforting. Because it is there when you need it.

Now think about what if you missed out on the opportunity for that friendship? That you didn’t put yourself in that position that gave you the friends you have today. Think of all the wonderful moments you would have missed out on.

As I said, friends come and go. They move, they get into careers or relationships. It doesn’t lessen the bond, it just puts it on hold. Now, during that hold, you may be missing out on another friendship that is just as special and not having to be on hold.

You need not feel as you are cheating on a friend. For a true friend would want you to be happy when they are not there. Why? Because they have that trust in knowing you will still be there as their friend, regardless.

“Branch out, test the waters. It’s ok. All your friends may not be on speed dial but enjoying special moments with different friends begins to fill your life in.”

Remember, trust is the key word. And for a true friendship to work, it is imperative to have it. So, it stands to reason if you can be trustworthy for one friend, you can be trustworthy for more friends.

So perhaps to start new friendships, we not only need to have trust in others but more importantly, trust in ourselves. Through our friendships, we already know we are trustworthy. Meaning we are friend worthy too.

Is that not one of the fears of finding new friends? Them not knowing you may not be trustworthy to be a friend? If you have more friends, with all types of friends, is that not some sort of resume for potential new friends?

I suppose it’s true, as with most things, to have a good friend, you need to be a good friend. Be the type of friend you want to have. Granted, we all have our moods, our different seasons, our different viewpoints.

So why not incorporate that into having different friends? Mind you, it’s not a race, there is no set limit to the perfect number of friends. True friends are hard to find, but they are out there. Friends who are perfect for different situations in your life.

Friends you may have never thought would be part of your life tends to get you wanting more of that experience! I have met so many amazing people in my life.

Not just family, not just school friends, neighbors, cashiers, postal workers, bankers, motorcyclists, archers, Renaissance and Horror enthusiasts, even Stars.

When it comes to friends, all those pronouns disappear. They all become equal because I simply think of them as “friends”. And I am so grateful to know each and every one!

Branch out, test the waters. It’s ok. All your friends may not be on speed dial but enjoying special moments with different friends begins to fill your life in. When the one you do have on speed dial has to put you on hold for a little a while, it’s ok. They will answer when they can and will be still there for you, but in the meantime get on a party line and enjoy other friends. You never know who is just waiting right around the corner, ready to answer the call of being a new friend!