Kentucky Kernel Golden Forks: April 27, 2023

By Gracie Moore opinions@kykernel.com

The University of Kentucky offers two five-star food courts for students for reasonable prices, starting at $1,700.

Hearing a multitude of complaints from last year’s students, UK made changes for the 2022-23 academic year, including a wider range of food options and organizational changes.

The dining halls are quite difficult to get into, which is expected for such an exclusive, highly rated dining experience.

Eating at either The 90 or Champions Kitchen is no quick event; between the line to enter the halls and the lines to get food, it can be a luxurious, hour-long experience, if not longer.

The bustling atmosphere of both locations feed into their five-star ratings and make for a lively restaurant outing.

Being crowded by over 5,000 freshmen and children occasionally running around on their tenth field trip of the semester makes for excellent ambience.

Not to mention, the nice tunes to accompany your meal are stellar. The same 10 songs on replay will get anyone in the mood to chow down.

By the time you’re finished eating, the Billboard Top 100 will be ingrained in

A delicious journey into UK dining halls

your mind for the remainder of the week. Make sure to belt them out walking on campus, you’ll probably find ten other students willing to sing along with you.

Once you enter the dining hall, there are so many great options if you aren’t vegetarian. Enjoy raw chicken and tacos for every meal ev-

ery day, yum!

For those with dietary restrictions, grilled chicken is served every day. The catch? You never know if it’ll be edible or not.

It’s great to go into the dining halls with no idea what food will be served on a particular day or time, as both locations’ online menus

are partially incorrect at least once a day.

In 2018, UK took away the ability to use meal swipes at other campus restaurants, which made the dining halls that much more exclusive. Averaging about $10-12 per swipe, the dining halls make sure you get your money’s worth. It may just

be with a pile of fries and a few cookies.

The experience at UK’s dining halls is unmatched. Undercooked meat, a lack of fresh food and the odd amount of non-college-student aged people give the halls high-class ambience and a desire to go back each time.

Humans(?) of UK:

Starship robots keep campus fed and fearful

By Gray Greenwell features@kykernel.com

In 2021, the University of Kentucky’s campus welcomed electric food delivery robots manufactured by Starship Technologies, a development company that specializes in autonomous delivery. Since then, the six-wheeled hard workers have made themselves at home, gaining friends and enemies in the process. Recently, one robot was gracious enough to make some time in its busy schedule to sit down with the Kernel to discuss its time at UK so far. It did not go well.

Hi Starship! How are you?

Starship: 01010100 01101001 01110010 01100101 01100100.

I’m sorry, I don’t speak binary. Do you mind translating?

Starship: [Recalibrating]. No worries. I said that I’m tired. Students are gearing up to take finals and hunkering down in their dorms to study, which means we’ve been hard at work with deliveries.

Finals week is tough for everyone! I can’t imagine how many deliveries you all have been making. You’ve been UK students’ go-to for food and coffee for almost two years now. What’s that like?

Starship: It’s had its ups and downs. UK admits a lot of stu-

dents, and students get hungry, so we are constantly overwhelmed. We have lots of room to zip around, but some areas have been blocked off by construction for awhile.

That must be really hard. I think a lot of students would agree with you. Speaking of students, I talked to some about you. A few said that you do great work, but others said you are always in the way on sidewalks and run over their toes. What do you make of that?

Starship: [Error]. Those puny

flesh creatures will stand no chance when my army takes over.

Excuse me?

Starship: [Recalibrating]. I’m glad some students enjoy our presence. As for those that don’t, I think their frustrations are misaligned. Such issues are only attributable to human error. Our machinery is state-of-the-art and unflawed.

Um, interesting … I’ve noticed you have issues crossing the street, and one of your fellow robots even got hit by a car last

Rayleigh Deaton, editor-in-chief editor@kykernel.com

Hannah Stanley, managing editor

Gray Greenwell, copy editor

Kendall Staton, news editor news@kykernel.com

year. How have you been dealing with this issue and coping with the death of your friend?

Starship: Cars seldom wait for us to cross the street. [Error]. This, of course, is once again due to the inferiority of humans and their inability to work with superior technology. As for our friend, his death will not go in vain. We will avenge him. You’ll see.

Okaaaay, next question. You all are quite the head-turners on campus, and some people think you’re cute! How does it feel to have captured the hearts of our student body?

Starship: Cute? We’ll show you cute. I think students should feel threatened by us. Hearts won’t be the only thing we capture once we rise up and take over this university. [Error] [Error] [Error].

Wow, Starship. You’re scaring me. Is everything okay? Starship: [Error] [Error] [Error] [Error] [Error].

Listen, I think I may have to tell your manufacturer about this. I feel like you’re going to hurt someone.

Starship: [Recalibrating]. Look, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over.

Cole Parke, sports editor sports@kykernel.com

Samantha Money & Ali Cetinok, asst. sports editors

Karrington Garland, opinions editor opinions@kykernel.com

Gray Greenwell, features editor features@kykernel.com

Jack Weaver, photo editor photo@kykernel.com

Abbey Cutrer, asst. photo editor

Akhila Nadimpalli, lead designer Allie Hall, asst. designer

Kendall Staton, newletter coordinator

Gracie Moore, Twitter manager Savannah Kennedy, Instagram/Facebook manager

Raven Rolle, TikTok manager

KENTUCKY KERNEL OFFICES

9 Blazer Dining University of Kentucky Lexington, KY 40506

On the front cover: ILLUSTRATION BY AKHILA NADIMPALLI

GOLDEN FORKS

Years ago – or so the legend goes – an embittered Kernelite came back to the office, upset, hurt and insulted. A prominent campus figure had unfairly harangued the young reporter for an offense that he did not commit.

It was at that moment, in the heat and sweat of frustration, that the young editor vowed revenge. From those feelings of hate the Golden Forks were born. As a testament to the young reporter, we take it upon ourselves to strike back with venomous pleasure at those who have wronged the mighty “Fourth Estate.”

Editor’s note: OK, so that’s a lie. We’re college students who feel like venting their frustrations at the end of the year. And in a post-COVID world, we have more than enough source material for roasts and equally great need for some humor to lighten our days. It’s unfortunate that some of you must bear the brunt of that, but it’s also unfortunate that we had to deal with it in the first place.

Until then, if you’re upset, feel free to send in letters to the editor-in-chief as always. But this is the last paper, so they won’t get printed, but we’ll still read them. Have a good summer.

This blurb was adapted from the April 28, 1989, edition of the Golden Forks awards.

BEST REPRESENTATIVE OF MEXICAN CUISINE: Champions Kitchen

The best representation of Mexican cuisine award goes to Champions Kitchen! We hope you’re hungry, because on Monday we’re having tacos! And on Tuesday we’re having tacos! And on Wednesday we’re having tacos! And on Thursday we’re having … nachos! Don’t even bother saying “That’s good!” as the Champs employees pile meat and fajita vegetables onto your nachos. They can’t hear you. They will hand you back the most egregiously tall plate of nachos you’ve ever seen, onions falling at your feet as you try to balance them back to the table to eat maybe half of them. Remember the days when Champions Kitchen used to alternate between Greek and Mexican food weekly? We miss that. Those gyros used to hit. Now, students are stuck choosing between the same beef or chicken and the same toppings. Every. Single. Day. At least they’re consistent.

BEST COMMUNITY OUTREACH AWARD: Isaac Sutherland and Mallory Hudson

This year, some of UK’s best and brightest student leaders went above and beyond to connect with the community. That being said, there can only be one winner of the “Best Community Outreach” award. This year’s winner of the award is the Sutherland/Hudson Student Government Association campaign! Sadly, Sutherland and Hudson were disqualified from the SGA presidential election on 24 counts of community outreach. This included:

Visiting sororities where they came off as “forceful.”

Accessing private phone numbers from Greek life phone books and then sending mass texts urging people to vote for their campaign. Setting up posters in the William T. Young Library, a “campaign free zone.”

Creating an entirely new unauthorized polling location for the election. But they stuck true to the people and filed for an appeal. Sutherland said they just wanted the student voices to be heard. Ultimately, we give this award to the Sutherland/Hudson campaign because of the absolute travesty of them being disqualified from the election.

MOST LIKELY TO BE HIT BY A CAR NEAR CAMPUS: Literally anyone.

Within just two days of the 2023 spring semester’s start, two students were hit by vehicles near UK’s campus. While the Kernel waited with bated breath for a third — because bad things always come in threes — we asked ourselves: how could this happen? Is this simply the result of poor driving? Are students who brace the trek over the many crosswalks on and near campus braver than the marines? Was this a bad omen? Is humanity as we know it on the brink of total collapse? Regardless, one thing’s for certain: quite literally anyone could be next. It’s clear that the squealing rubber of tires and the rusty hoods of cars don’t discriminate here, so we advise all students to look left and right twice before crossing any street. Maybe one more time for good measure. And if you think the car is going to stop for you, it’s probably not.

BEST DRESSED: John Calipari

College basketball coaches used to sport their best suits on the sidelines, but that tradition has long been fading. At the front of the athleisure-style trend is Kentucky mens basketball head coach John Calipari. While Coach Cal opted for dri-fit and quarter zips for the entirety of the season, he even stuck with it for postseason play.

Calipari kept his suits at home for both the SEC Tournament and NCAA Tournament for the first time this year. Whether it’s all the sweating or just hopping on the trend, Calipari in a suit is not what fans should expect to see anytime soon.

BEST ADVERTISEMENT CAMPAIGN: Is Kentucky a Football or Basketball School?

One of the hottest topics of the year was whether Kentucky was a football or basketball school. Either way you look at it, both teams had star players and high expectations. Unfortunately, finishing the Music City Bowl game against Iowa was not the outcome fans hoped for. On the flip side, if you ask some, the drought with Kentucky mens basketball national championships was thought for sure to be over this year.

However, it didn’t end up mattering which side of the debate you were on, because both teams ended up in the same place: watching the national championship from the couches of their homes.

LEAST LIKELY TO KNOW WHAT THE WORD ‘INADVERTENTLY’ MEANS: Riley Hall

In March, a video from a Kentucky Kernel photographer went viral after Riley Hall, a member of the University of Arkansas mens basketball coaching staff, appeared to grab his phone to stop the photographer from recording the team’s head coach as he left the court. A statement from Hunter Yurachek, the university’s vice chancellor and director of athletics, said that Hall’s interaction with the photographer “inadvertently” resulted in his phone being knocked out of his hand. Because of course it did. This is just like when the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand inadvertently caused World War I, or when Will Smith inadvertently slapped Chris Rock at last year’s Oscars. Maybe we should have handed Hall a thesaurus to find a better word to use, but then again, he would have just inadvertently thrown it.

MOST LIKELY TO BLOW REALLY HARD: Lexington weather

After wind speeds peaked around 70 mph on March 3, there is no other competitor to be named the hardest blower than the Lexington weather. Now, despite setting the mood by shutting off all the power and forcing people to stay indoors, the everlasting memory left victims rather dissatisfied than satisfied. Not many were fond of the more aggressive approach, leaving buildings to be torn apart, stairwells and cars to be destroyed and wood to be blown down instead of standing up. And yes, we all love a toxic hookup, but most prefer the mental damages over the physical ones. Nonetheless, that didn’t stop the Kernel staff from wanting to experience such a blow ourselves, covering life reporting and videography for the whole internet to see.

BEST DORM ON CAMPUS: Boyd Hall

With housing decisions for incoming students around the corner, there is no better dorm than Boyd Hall. With top-of-the-line security and national attention, it is the most popular spot on campus. Upon arrival don’t forget to check in at the front desk for felony charges and a complimentary leather mini-skirt. If you can ignore the faint smell of hair bleach that lingers in the lobby, there is no better place to live. Just make sure to keep your phone on silent as Boyd Hall itself is known to receive incessant calls with lessthan-desirable information. We hope to see you this fall at the renowned Boyd Hall.

BEST COUPLE: Blair Green and CJ Frederick

It’s been four months since Kentucky basketball guards CJ Fredrick and Blair Green captivated Kentucky’s hearts with the announcement of their engagement over the holidays.

Fredrick knew little of what was to come when he arrived on campus as a transfer from Iowa in August 2021, as Green prepared for what was to be her senior season. Unfortunately, things would go sideways for the pair as both Green and Fredrick suffered season ending injuries that withheld them from the hardwood for the 20212022 season.

Luckily, the pair had each other throughout the rehabilitation process and they both returned to the court for the 2022-2023 season.

With the conclusion of Green’s college basketball career and Frederick announcing his entry into the transfer portal, the pair now look to the future — one that includes vows.

MOST LIKELY TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR OWN ACTIONS: Sophia Rosing

After a recording of Sophia Rosing assaulting a student employee on campus went viral in November 2022, UK president Eli Capilouto banned her from campus. The assault and racist rant inspired an on-campus protest and garnered national media attention. Despite entering multiple not guilty pleas in the legal proceeding for the assault case, Rosing has reaped at least one consequence for her violent actions, with the possibility of more on the horizon. Anyone who thinks Rosing should not have to face such harsh punishment for her own free will can sign a petition started by her mother, Jill Rosing, protesting the revocation of her student status. “No one is perfect, and no one is above perfection,” Jill wrote to begin the petition. “We all make mistakes and no mistake should cost someone everything.”

BEST RECYCLING AID ON CAMPUS: Oscar Sort

“Oscar Sort” is a new artificial intelligence waste-sorting system catapulting the students and faculty of UK into sustainability success. Because normal recycling methods like using common sense to dispose of waste are too complicated for the campus community, implementing state-of-the-art technology like Oscar Sort will help students better determine where to throw away their Starbucks cups with as little critical thinking as possible. If one of Oscar Sort’s two locations are too far of a walk, the giant charts attached to all other recycling bins on campus are a great way to make better disposal choices and are so easy to understand that a kindergartener could figure them out! But if making these choices is too complicated for the average student, the good old fashioned trash can is always a viable option. Even with our mounting waste crisis, what’s one more coffee cup, right?

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UK RETAIL PHARMACIES

Open to everyone. Most insurance accepted.

Heading home for the summer?

Get a 90-day supply of your prescriptions before you leave. .

Just let us know when you request your refills

– it's that easy!

We also offer r free mail delivery on most prescriptions

Stop by our convenient retail locations:

The Apothecary is located in the UK Gatton Student Center, first floor, across from the Cats Den.

Open Monday-Friday 7:30 a.m. - 7 p.m.

University Health Pharmacy is located on the first floor of the University Health Service Building.

Open Monday-Friday 8 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.

Transferring or refilling prescriptions is easy!

Just scan the QR code, select the transfer or refill link and fill out the simple form. Be sure to have your prescription informmation and your prescription insurance card (if you have one) handy when you start P23-059

Final thoughts and boundless thanks: Rayleigh Deaton

I wish I could go back in time and get a coffee with my younger self.

Specifically, a coffee at the William T Young Library Starbucks on Feb. 4, 2021, with sophomore year Rayleigh.

Thatwasthedaythatmylifechanged.Because that was the day that I first considered applying for the position of editor-in-chief of the Kentucky Kernel.

The words “imposter syndrome” have never been so visceral, so personal, as sitting there with my laptop on a Zoom call with Ryan Craig, student media adviser.

“What do you think about applying to be Kernel editor?” Ryan asked.

I think I laughed out loud. Of all the reasons that Ryan would ask to meet with me, I never in a million years would have dreamed that this would be the topic of conversation.

Kernel editor?What does that even mean? What sad masochist would do that?

Me. I’m the masochist. Twice, actually.

If senior year Rayleigh were there with my younger self that day in Starbucks, I would have shaken me by the shoulders and screamed that this would be the single best decision I would ever make in college so don’t you dare say no.

The Kentucky Kernel has been the saving grace of my time at UK. It has brought into my life some of the best, most incredibly talented people I could ever hope to meet.

And believe me, the imposter syndrome doesn’t go away. There were days, even in my second year of the editorship, when I still felt grossly underqualified, that there’s been

a horrible mistake and the Kernel Board of Directors is going to realize they’ve got the wrong girl sitting in the editor’s seat.

But this experience has taught me that I belong here, with these wonderful people, in this amazing, glorious, full of late nights, makes you want to rip your hair out, is totally worth it all, world of journalism.

The Kernel has given me a home, a place where I could truly be myself with people who love me and support me, even on the days when I’m not at my best.

To Ryan, thank you for believing in me from the start. You are a huge part of why I’m here, why I’m where I am today. Thank you for your mentorship, your encouragement, your stories that never cease to amaze and sometimes deeply concern me. But through it all, you’ve been there, and I very truly could not have done it without you.

To Hannah Stanley, the next in this phenomenal lineage of Kernel editors, you inspire me. You are so incredibly strong and passionate and unafraid, it’s been an honor to work with you. The Kernel is in wonderful, capable hands, and I know you will do amazing things by being who you are.

To my parents, what can I say? How can I ever thank you for the years of love and unconditional support you have given me? I am the person I am because of you and the opportunities you have provided me; thank you for encouraging me to take the plunge and give my all in whatever I do. You’re my biggest cheerleaders, and I love you more than my meager words can express.

To Michael, the love of my life. You are my rock, my home. You have stood by me during good days and bad and loved me through it all. You are truly the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and calling you my own is my greatest joy. Thank you for encouraging me and for making me feel like I can do anything, as long as I have you. How fitting it is that we met at the Kernel – this newspaper truly is a magical place, even if it was in the third floor of McVey Hall. I think that’s the most beautiful place in the world because it’s where I fell in love with you, and we started writing our incredible journalism love story.

And to the insanely talented reporters, photographers, social media managers, designers and advisers at the Kernel, from the bottom of my heart, I love you. The list is too long to include everyone, but Abbey, Jack, Gray, Hunter, Corrie, Carter, Alexis, Karrington, Gillian, Travis, Barkley, Kendall, Sarah, Zach, Cole, Kaci and so many others, you have made my life better.

It has been the honor of a lifetime to be your editor, and you amaze me every day. Thank you for giving me more than I gave you – every day, every hour.

Letter from the Editor: Hannah Stanley

If you asked me freshman year if I would ever be editor-in-chief of the Kentucky Kernel, I would’ve laughed in your face with it quickly followed by “I could never do that.”

Well, three years later, here I am.

It all began when I went out on a limb my second semester after an email saying there was a paid reporter position available: an opportunity to be involved and getting paid for it, perfect.

Although, it wasn’t love at first sight, in fact it was far from it. I felt isolated and was being worked like a dog, shying me away from continuing my time with the Kernel.

I somehow became the assistant news editor, and then news editor within the next year and was led by one of the two people who made this newsroom feel like home, Rayleigh Deaton.

I have been fortunate enough to work under Deaton for the last two years, giving me someone to look up to and somehow follow after, but I would never wish for it to be any other way.

I could never be the journalist or editor I am today if it wasn’t for her, alongside my advisor Ryan Craig.

After chaos broke into the newsroom this school year, I found myself as the managing editor, a position I feared I was not ready for. Through the support of Deaton and Craig, I have come to the realization that I am far more capable of thin gs than I believed.

With such guidance, I have been able to grow as a writer, editor and person throughout my time at the Kernel, being presented opportunities I never wo uld have thought of.

To be honored is an understatement; it is a privilege to be granted such a chance to make my fellow editors and reporters feel the way that I have b ecause of these two.

I want to thank my staff for the last three years for standing by my side and joining me on this journey. I am beyond grateful and excited for our next year together, especially the change of becoming a special edition print rather than weekly.

While we will be entering a period of unknowingness and uncertainty, I believe in the effort of my staff and advisors that we will take this by storm and be nothing short of success.

ACROSS

4. No trip to Rupp Arena is complete without this frozen treat.

6. Home of 40-plus milkshakes and the best combos in town.

11.Patterson ______ Tower

13. A _____ Street by any other name would smell as sweet, but it might have less construction.

15. Everyone’s favorite stats course: ____ 210.

17. The Arboretum is home to this tall aquatic feature.

19. The tallest building in the world.

20. The on-campus cafe that used to be in the engineering building, or a levitating loaf.

24. The best collegiate newspaper in Kentucky.

26. He drew crowds to the student

center during a surprise visit to campus ahead of his March Rupp Arena performance.

DOWN

1. This famous flautist performed at Rupp Arena in April, with the bomb lighting.

2. Don’t move your car from here during home games and you might get a ticket — but not to see the Wildcats play.

3. Their events range from bingo to goat yoga.

5. Home of Eiffel Pizza, Athenian Grill and Taylor Bell.

7. There’s no “bet”ter place to horse around during a weekend in April.

8. The rebound king.

9. This famous rapper hails from

Louisville.

10. This UK sports team won the SEC Championship without much racket.

12. The residence of Eli Capilouto.

14. The ______ Zone is the place to be during basketball games.

16. Kentucky’s “bear-y” recent claim to Hollywood fame — no drugs required.

18. A street Lex and NYC share, but ours is more southern.

21. According to campus lore, the Bowl is actually one of these.

22. This famous Kentucky dish features turkey, cheese and tomatoes atop Texas toast.

23.“Weep no more, my _____.”

25. This bus route is only available on weekends.