8 Daily Bar Buzz bar & restaurant daily deals 10 Weekly Bar Buzz island happy hour guide 14 BarTab Happy Hour Guide 16 Flying Stinks (Literally) by bill hoebee 20 It Only Takes One Talking Mime by chris shultz 20 Ask April love advice by superfox arpil brucker 22 1st Annual Bethany-Sunshine Happy Hour BarTab Bar Stroll 29 Profiles rachel & aaron @ the bottle cap snoop @ tavern & town doug @ formally bagatelle allison @ dante’s
PO Box 4951 Key West, FL 33041 www.KeyWestBarTab.com 305.292.6262 Publisher Lawrence Bradley, Jr larry@keywestbartab.com Assistant Editor Liz Love liz@keywestbartab.com Design David Rappe Words by Bill Hoebee hoebee@keywestbartab.com
32 Map of Key West
Leigh Pujado cleighpujado@gmail.com
40 Those Old Mesopotamians by leigh pujado
Chris Shultz chris@phantompress.com
44 Restaurant & Bar Listings
Cecil Witt
54 Menus & Delivery Guide mr z’s & damn good food 56 Do You Remember When... by mike marrero 61 421 Words by vinny k 6 KWBT
Contributors Photography Ben Besent The BarTab magazine is a free monthly publication distributed throughout Key West. Omissions in the BarTab are at the discretion of the publisher. All rights reserved & contents copyright 2004-2009, Flypaper Publishing, LLC.
Big’Uns
all drinks 2-4-1 open-8pm 2-4-1 margarita all day
Bottle Cap Island Dogs Lazy Gecko Rum Barrel 1128 Simonton 305.296.2807
505 Front 305.295.0501
203 Duval 305.292.1903
528 Front 305.292.7862
Happy Hour 4 - 7pm Food served till 12am or later
$5 bloody 11am-3pm Happy Hours noon-7pm Rum & Reggae w/ George Victory $5 mojitos all day
Happy Hour 5 - 8pm 2-4-1 drink specials
Happy Hour 2 for 1 4-7pm wells, domestic drafts & bottles Live Music Tony Roberts & Kevin Bowes 8pm
Live DJ Music w/ DJ Gyver 9:30pm - late
TUESDAY MONDAY
SUNDAY EVERYDAY
218 Duval 305.292.0486
For a KeyWest Taxi call
THURSDAY
Live DJ Music w/ DJ Gyver 11:30pm - late
Live Music 9:30pm
FRIDAY 8
Taco Tuesday 2 tacos & Milagro margarita for $7 Latin Night Rolando & George Victory ladies $6 maritnis Blue Martini Thursdays $6 martinis for ladies
Live DJ Music w/ Chaka 11:30pm - late
Celebrity Happy Hour for Charity 5-8pm
Live Music
Live DJ Music 10pm - close
SATURDAY
WED
305.296.6666
Live DJ Music w/ DJ Gyver 11:30pm - late
DJ Dane Music 10pm - close
Live Music
Live DJ Music 10pm - close
Live DJ Music 10pm - close
Live Music Festa Groove 8pm
Virgilio’s
Willie T’s
524 Duval 305.296.8118
Live Jazz Skipper & friends 9:30pm
Rolando & Frito @ sunset
Live Music w/ Caffeine Carl 9:30pm
Rolando & Frito @ sunset
Live Salsa Music w/ El Caribe 9:30pm
Coconut Races! at sunset, come for a chance to win a bar tab!
Live Bands 9:30pm Live Bands 9:30pm
2-4-$10 Margaritas
SUNDAY EVERYDAY TUESDAY MONDAY
Summer Shrimp Spectacular 7pm $5 1/2lbs KW Pink Shrimp
Mojito Monday 2 for $12 Mojitos
2-4-$10 Margaritas
WED
$5 Martini Monday all martinis $5 8pm - close
Trivia Night! 10pm with 2-4-$10 Rumrunners Live Music at 10pm & 2-4-$10 Margaritas Live Music at 10pm & 2-4-$10 Margaritas
FRIDAY THURSDAY
Robert Albury @ sunset
Happy Hour 4-7pm 50% off premium well drinks & beers Sunday, Bloody Sunday 2 for $10 Bloody Mary’s
SATURDAY
Robert Albury @ sunset
525 Duval 305.294.7674
AND GRAB A COPY OF FOR GREAT ISLAND DISCOUNTS
0 Duval 305.296.7701
FOR A KEY WEST TAXI CALL FIVE 6’S CABS 305.296.6666
Sunset Pier
Happy Hour 2 for 1 4-7pm wells, domestic drafts & bottles S.I.N Night w/ DJ Hov-around Yo Philly! Monday $3 Yuengling Pints $5 Absolut $9 Cheesesteaks S.I.N Night w/ DJ Hov-around Jammin’ Wednesday $3 Red Stripe $4 Cruzan Rum Irish Sessions 8pm-10pm Barrels of Fun Fri $7 Rum Barrels $7 Island Barrels $6 Dirty Hoes Irish Sessions 8pm-10pm
Bagatelle
The Café 509 Southard 305.296.5515
951 Caroline 305.293.5123
Dante’s
Fat Tuesday
Pouring $6 martinis, 6 nights a week. Tues-Sun get them 10pmclose at the bar.
A mostly veggie restaurant open 11am-10pm Monday-Saturday w/ brunch on Sunday 10am-3pm.
Happy Hour 4-8pm, all drinks almost half off & great raw bar specials.
Happy Hour 5-8pm 2-4-1 wells, beers & daiquiris. DJ Music Thurs - Saturday nights.
115 Duval 305.296.6609
Green Parrot
Iguana Cafe
Irish Kevin’s
Jack Flats 509.5 Duval 305.294.7955
Kelly’s Caribbean 301 Whitehead 305.293.8484
Happy Hour 4-7pm daily with “sound-checks” at 5:30pm throughout the week.
2 Happy Hours 4-7pm & 11pm-2am $1 off all beers & well. Food till 2am. 20 beers on draft.
Happy Hour open till 6:30pm, 2-4-1 margaritas & $2.50 pints of domestic beer. LIVE MUSIC A ALL DAY LONG!
10 High Def Projection TVs & personal speakers to listen. Late night food till 1am or later.
Happy Hour 4-7pm $3 margaritas, $2 micro brews & 1/2 priced hot, mild or jerk wings.
Martin’s
Prime Steakhouse
Southernmost Beach Cafe
Sports Page
Tavern & Town
601 Whitehead 305.294.6133
917 Duval 305.295.0111
10
305 Duval 305.296.9373
Light menu severed late night with in the street side lounge. Saturday night various DJs 10pm-1am.
425 Greene 305.296.6420
951 Caroline 305.296.4000
BarTab’s favorite Key West steak house, with $5 martinis all summer long at the bar.
211 Duval 305.292.1262
1405 Duval 305.295.6550 3-way $3 Happy Hour 4-7pm with your choice of wings, calimari, sliders & more with $3 drink specials.
610 Greene 305.296.3230
3841 N Roosevelt 305.296.3676
Mon-Fri HH 4-7pm 1/2 priced apps & 2-4-1 wells & beers. 11pm-close all beer & liquor 1/2 price
Happy Hour Daily 2-4-1 drinks 5-7pm Tues & Thurs 2-4-1 Tapas 5-7pm
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15 KWBT
Flying Stinks (literally) by Bill Hoebee On a recent trip to N.J. on vacation (yes, I went to N.J. on vacation), I gained a new respect for frequent flyers, who were easy to spot by their seeming lack of frustration over the trials and tribulations of today’s air travel. Besides being trapped in a flying metal tube with millions of airborne germs, and the insane cost and long check in lines, my least favorite part has traditionally been the strangers sitting in the row next to me. Being inherently lazy, I once again neglected to request that I not be assigned an aisle seat near the back of the plane (more on that later). My trip started off at 5:45am with my airport arrival, where I promptly walked directly to the men’s room to get the sticky stuff off my hand that I acquired on the 16 KWBT
cab ride there. I never made it to the sink due to the inhumane smell I encountered upon my entrance. The aforementioned obnoxious bathroom smell was the first of many on this trip. Not being a frequent flyer, I wondered to myself if travel pros do this on purpose by eating Purina Cat Chow or something the night before their morning flights. As I prepared for the ceremonial “taking off of the shoes” ritual, I noticed a gigantic man in front of me, sitting on the floor, unlacing a pair of rowboat-sized monstrosities. I immediately wretched, and asked the man if he had somehow managed to borrow Bigfoot’s hiking boots. The smell could have knocked a buzzard off a garbage truck. After a short trip to Ft. Lauderdale where I had a 2-hour layover, I boarded my plane to New Jersey. I was pleasantly surprised to be sitting next to a beautiful woman. This normally only happens to me in strip bars. My delight was short-lived when I realized she was Nick Nolte style drunk and very mad about something. She kept talking loudly to the chubby teen next to her, apparently her daughter, who complained to the flight attendant at least 4 times during the lunch service about how much her turkey (product) sandwich sucked. In her defense, the roll was museum-quality, probably from the Paleozoic era, and there was exactly one piece of lettuce. She then proceeded to tell us of her plans to open up a “S’mores Only” restaurant in El Paso called “The Best Little S’more House in Texas”. After I commented on what a “great” idea it was, I casually offered up that if the s’more’s don’t sell, perhaps she
should contact the local Mafia and offer up the place as a front for a money-laundering operation. As I mentioned before, I was in the aisle seat, 4 rows from the back of the plane. As only the totally incoherent are unaware, the bathroom is at the back of the plane, and apparently I was traveling with a group of people who were head to Newark for some kind of pro-incontinence rally. For approximately 2 hours, people were lined up 12 deep to wait for the can. So, consequently, I had a butt in my face doing the pee-pee dance until the Captain announced that everyone had to return to his or her seats because of turbulence. I once saw a man in Vegas lose $100,000.00 on one hand of blackjack look less disappointed than these poor people, who would now have to wait even longer for their “turn”. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, because the last thing I needed right then was somebody with a full bladder bouncing off of me in turbulence. Just as I was beginning to relax, a large woman wearing what appeared to be a gigantic floral print towel popped up one row in front of me and loudly inquired which one of us “theavin’ bastards” took her lunch. After the flight attendant explained to her that, because she was sleeping, (and snoring like Ralph Kramden) her lunch was removed when the Captain announced the impending turbulence. She immediately waddled to the bathroom, ignoring the attendant’s pleas to return to her seat. She stayed in for about an hour, leading me to wonder what she was up to in there, and worrying that I would soon encounter it. The
good-looking drunk woman next to me then choked on peanuts and spit quite a few directly on my lap. In lieu of apologizing, she chose instead to tell me that she “needs a freakin’ blanket”, to which I replied, “So do I”. We eventually landed, and my hand was nearly taken off by a piece of falling overhead luggage. Well, I was finally on vacation, I practically ran out of the airport. That night, as I was about to drift off to sleep, I thought to myself that it really wasn’t that horrible of a flight, because I learned some valuable lessons that might help make the return flight a little less stressful: 1) Wear sandals to the airport 2) Don’t allow them to seat you on the aisle near the bathroom 3) Carry an air filtration mask for any bathroom visits and a waterproof tarp to protect from peanut spitting shrapnel And, most importantly 4) Jam a Valium the size of a jawbreaker down my trap before I get on a plane. All this being said, no matter how much I hate flying, I’ll always endure it to get back to the best place in the world, Key West, Florida. Peace, Bill Hoebee 17 KWBT
18 KWBT
Late Night at
Saturday night 10pm – 12pm 2 for 1 drinks $5.00 Martinis $7.00 Wood Oven Pizzas open until 2am with Miami DJ and complimentary shuttle rides to Duval 1am – 2am 2 for 1 Cocktails Daily 5 - 7 pm 2 for 1 Tapas Dining Tuesdays and Thursdays 5 - 7 pm Live Entertainment Thursdays 5 - 7 pm Key West Marriott Beachside Hotel • 3841 N. Roosevelt Blvd. Reservations (305) 296-3676
Tavern N Town Ranked #1 Restaurant of all Marriott Hotels by Guest Surveys
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Ask April
April Brucker, the Superfoxxx of stand up, is approached by men & women everyday seeking advice about relationship problems. While she does not know how to make one work, she knows how to make one fail. Using her knowledge garnered from dating dead beats and courting degenerates, this bad girl gives a lot of good advice. Dear April, I’ve been seeing this guy for several months & things have been going great. He’s a maintenance man for our condo & is ripped, buffed & tattooed. For kicks I did a search on KeysSo & found out he has quite a past. He’s an ex-junkie who has a record for cat burglary & to make matters worse he escaped from prison several years ago. Though according to my findings he finished serving his sentence & is seemingly turning his life around I feel betrayed he didn’t tell me. The worst part is he is supposed to go out with him tomorrow. Should I break it off, what should I do? Love in Handcuffs
M M
Dear Love in Handcuffs, End this & end this now! Pronto! He was dishonest about his past, well what else is he lying about? Once a junkie always a junkie. Once a thief always a thief. The liberals lie. I have chucked E-Harmony in favor of the methadone clinic many a time. While the escape from prison makes him resourceful, which is dead sexy, he is no man to have in your house. You have no way to know if he is working a twelve step program and how well he is following the steps. The second he relapses, if he hasn’t already, he will be milking your condo clean & pawning your stuff for dope money. Or he will find himself on the wrong side of the law & the only date you will see is a court date. And the only way you will see Cancun is running from the law. What I am trying to say is dump him & now. If he harasses you call the cops. They love roughing up criminals, trust me. And who knows, you may find love in handcuffs on the right side of the law that way. I know I did once. Love, April 21 KWBT
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It only takes one talking mime to make you want to be a country singer by Chris Shultz
The night ended oddly as I found myself in a four seat dive bar with one dressed down burlesque girl and another lady dressed as a mime. They sat on my lap making out with each other. As they smeared make -up all over their faces I was at a loss as they really wanted nothing to do with me, there just were no other seats at the bar. Who am I to deny my lap as a place for their fun? I sucked down my Amstel Light in awe, wondering how one gets in these situations. I’m sure the three other customers at the bar wondered this themselves as they sat back and watched the entertainment and I shrugged my shoulders and sipped my beer. The boyfriend of the dressed down burlesque girl stood behind me laughing at the situation, the bartender hung out in front of me attempting card tricks with a manic look in his eye and bit of drool on his chin, the other customers tried to order cocktails to no avail. Reality is so much better than fiction. This is why I drink. As the make-up smeared and they called me a narcissist, I laughed and could not help but agree. I also came to the conclusion that a mime talking to me in such a serious tone sort of freaked me out, in fact it really freaked me out. I had gone from being strangely turned on to being completely scared. I ordered a scotch and ate peanuts, throwing the shells on the oor, as you do when you are in dive bars with burlesque girls and talking mimes that freak you out while making out on your lap. The make-up smearing make out session came to an end and I ran out of scotch. Work had to be done in the morning and we departed. (Even burlesque girls, talking mimes and writers have to work.) Then came that awkward moment as the talking mime tried diligently to get in my old Honda. Hmm, getting dirty with a talking make-up smeared mime could be fun. Then images of the clown in Steven King’s IT raced through my brain and the inner child in me gave me no choice but to tuck tail and leave. As I drove away, I looked in my rear view mirror as the mime stood in the street, looking closer than she appeared but getting smaller by the second as I pulled away. She waved slowly, like a sad prom queen, for 24 KWBT
a moment my heart broke. John Candy by himself on the bench in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” ran through my head, but I didn’t want her over for Thanksgiving no matter how sad and alone she looked, smeared make-up and all. I blared Ol’ Dirty Bastard in my Honda and sped home knowing I was a coward. I awoke the next morning in a white t-shirt covered in barbecue sauce from the ribs I devoured on my couch while attempting to watch old episodes of Planet Earth to erase my memory of the talking mime. It was then I decided I wanted to be a country singer. You know, the kind that was born in the backwoods of North Carolina and moved to Nashville with a dream, playing his own songs at a dive bar off the main strip. I would drink sweet tea and whiskey, write songs of pretty girls that wear pretty dresses and have soothing accents, the kind of girls that can break your heart over one dinner and a bottle of chardonnay. Unfortunately I lack any musical talent. The next best thing I could do was to take my dollar bill collection from the past several weeks of visiting strip clubs to the bank for a deposit. My dog came with and we stared up at the blue sky rolling by with a lazy breeze. I drank a Blueberry Fizzy fruit juice and all was well. I thought maybe I could write a song about a lonely make-up smeared talking mime, the only one of its kind. That’s my kind of a country song. God bless hangovers filled with inspiration.
When You’re Hung Over, Think of us. Our drivers will deliver a Single Coffee, Con Leche or Hang-Over Helper Smoothie. We also have Egg and Cheese, Cuban Mix, Club Sandwiches and Rice and Beans. So relax and stay in bed. Let us do the work!
305.294.7787 284 Margaret St. (next to Waterfront Market) Open 6:30 am • 7 days a week
w w w.cubancoffeequeen.net
26 KWBT
3-WAYY HOUR! $3 • 3 hours
HAPP
STEAK & H S I F H T I GRILLER W SAUCES G N I P LAND & SEA P I D 3 SKEWERS & SLIDERS, CALAMARI, ! PLUS TUNA RS & MORE E N N U R M U WIINGS, R
1405 Duval Street (305) 295-6550
Aaron & Rachel
from the bottle cap
by Cecil Witt BT: Full names, years in Key West, from? Aaron Dominik Moore, 5 years in Key West. I moved here from San Diego. Rachel Marie Santospago & I moved here from Maine 11 years ago. BT: What brought you down here? R: I had just heard that Key West was a great place to go. BT: Did you come by yourself? R: No, I threw the cat in the car & everything else I could fit in & just drove down. BT: You HAD to bring your pussy (cat) with you? R: Absolutely! I can’t go anywhere without my pussy (cat)! BT: You’re both attractive people - who gets hit on more when you’re behind the bar? R: It’s about equal. BT: What are some of the things you like about working with each other? A: I like her strength as a bartender, she’s a really hard worker & very attractive. She’s a workhorse - we just make a great team.
R: We work well together. We don’t bump into each other a lot. We know what the other one is doing & help each other. BT: Is there anything you don’t like about working with each other? R: Not really. Oh, well sometimes when he doesn’t pull his tickets! (laughs) BT: Do you have a system where Aaron takes care of the girls that come in & Rachel takes care of the guys? A: Oh yeah! We started that when we first started working together. R: He’s been working here longer than I have though, so he knows a lot more of the regulars that come in. BT: If you could have any job & the ability to do that job – what would it be? R: I would be a lounge singer! A: I would be a world famous DJ-bartender-club owner on some fantasy island! BT: What do you like to do when you’re not working? A: I like to go out & drink, socialize. I sometimes find myself here on my days off. R: I’ve become more of a home-body over the years. I like to stay home & cook, take care of the house, play with the cat. Y’know, pet my pussy! (laughs) BT: Any shout-outs? R: I’d like to give Patrick a shout-out! A & R: We’d like to thank Carmello & Carolyn! They’re great! & we appreciate all they do for us! 29 KWBT
Snoop from tavern & town
BT: What’s your full name, sign, years in Key West? Roland ‘Snoop’ Patrick Grainger, Taurus & about 4 or 5 years. BT: Where did you come here from? S: Islamorada - a long way away! BT: What? Did you fall asleep on the bus or something? S: When you envision living in the Keys, it doesn’t include Islamorada. I mean you want to live in Key West! So, I decided that’s where I wanted to be & packed my stuff & moved all the way down! BT: So how did you get the nickname ‘Snoop’? S: I was just a kid - we’ll leave it at that. I’ll plead the 5th! (laughs) BT: How long have you been at Tavern & Town? S: March will be 3 years. by Cecil Witt
BT: What are some of the things you like about working here? S: I like the structure, I like the regimentation. It’s pretty easy for things to “run amuck” down here if you don’t have a bit of structure in your life.
BT: So what is your official title? S: I’m the assistant food & beverage director, but technically, I’m a restaurant manager. Titles are titles! BT: What’s your least favorite part of the job? S: Meetings – we have sooo many meetings! They’re needed, don’t get me wrong! But that’s still my least favorite part. BT: The Premier Beverage trade show will be here for the 2nd time this November. How does that compare to others events Beachside hosts? S: It’s just an awesome event. We get a lot of weddings, so it’s just really cool when you get something that big that’s related to the F&B industry & where everybody has a great time! It can really put you on the map with locals & it gives us good exposure. BT: What’s the creepiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do? S: I saw some lady in a bar that could dislocate both of her shoulders then pop them back in socket! That’ll turn your stomach! BT: Do you have any strange practices or rituals? S: Umm… I talk to myself on my way to work in the morning. “It’s gonna be a good day! Everything is gonna be alright! Moosa!!” (laughs) BT: What are you going to dress up as for Halloween? S: I’m gonna be the guy from the Castrol Oil commercial. “Now that’s thinking with your dipstick, Jimmy!” BT: If you were put in a witness relocation program, where would you want to go & what would you name yourself? S: The Dominican Republic. I would name myself – Juantonio Menendez! 31 KWBT
RESTAURANTS & BARS 1 BAGATELLE 2 BIG’UNS SPORTS BAR & GRILL 3 BOTTLE CAP 4 THE CAFE 5 CAROLINE’S 6 DANTE’S / PRIME STEAKHOUSE 7 FAT TUESDAY 8 FINNEGANS WAKE 9 GREEN PARROT 10 IGUANA CAFE 11 IRISH KEVIN’S 12 ISLAND DOGS 13 JACK FLATS 14 KELLY’S 15 THE KEYS 16 LAZY GECKO 17 MANGOES UPSTAIRS 18 MR. Z’S 19 PRIME STEAKHOUSE / DANTE’S 20 RUM BARREL 21 SANTIAGO’S BODEGA 22 SPORTS PAGE 23 SUNSET PIER 24 TOWN & TAVERN 25 VIRGILIOS 26 WILLIE T’S 32 KWBT
STORES & SERVICES 1 DIAMOND INTERNATIONAL 2 FAIRVILLA MEGASTORE
5 GHOST TOURS STORE
3 FAST BUCK FREDDIES
6 HALF BUCK FREDDIES
4 FURY WATER SPORTS
7 JACK STEWART AUTO REPAIR
8 KW HAMMOCK CO.
11 PIRATE SOUL
9 PARADISE TATTOO
12 SALON 126
10 PEPPERS OF KEY WEST
13 SOLAR SPA 33 KWBT
Doug at kelly’s caribbean BT: Name, age & where are you from? Douglas George Disbrow, 33 & Decatur, Illinois. BT: How long have you been mixing? D: About 6 years. Basically all at Kelly’s - I kind of talked my way into this job. BT: Where do you hang out after work? D: Typically I’ll go to Caroline’s because it’s the closest & I need a drink immediately - & they have great bartenders. BT: Biggest bartending perks? D: The free drinks. Just kidding Fred (owner). Getting to meet people from all over the world. BT: What do you find most challenging about tending bar? D: I’d have to say when people want you to make a drink from their favorite bar back home & they don’t know what’s in it, cause I obviously don’t know what the hell is in it. BT: Any advice to survive this economy? D: Drink, drink & more drink. BT: Other than Kelly’s, island’s best happy hour? D: That’s tough, I change it up all the time. Lately, I’ve been going to Half Shell Raw Bar. I’ve been on an oyster kick. They have cold beer & good oysters. BT: Best ‘all the time’ deal on the island? D: I hate to say this cause it’s where I work, but Kelly’s has great prices. A lot of people leave right after happy hour, but our regular drink prices & menu prices are pretty much the best on the island. 34 KWBT
BT: Best food when you’re hungover? D: Mr. Zs Cheesesteak to prevent one - there are so many variations like a Pizza-steak. I like Sunny’s & I have a special order from Harpon Harry’s - corn beef hash, 2 poached eggs on top, drizzled with hollandaise. I call it the Grizzle Drizzle. BT: Do you have a code name? D: I’ve been called Dougie Fresh forever. Mr. Fresh is always on the tip of the tongue. BT: What is your least favorite drink to make? D: The Mojito obviously. Or the infamous frozen Mojito martini. That or hot tea. BT: 3 bartending accessories you can’t live without? D: A shaker, a towel on my waist & liquor. BT: Favorite hair band of all time? D: Metalica, for sure. Does that count as a hair band? BT: 80’s Metalica, yes. D: Okay, everything up until the black album. BT: Any other shout outs or plugs? D: Of course I’m going to plug Kelly’s happy hour. Also, all my boyz at Higgs Beach. Save a tall can of Natty Light for me.
Island Dogs Bar azul Wednesdays
Key West's premier upscale latin night Live Music Rolando & George Victory Ladies Drink $6 Maritnis
Blue Martini Thursdays
Live DJ - Top 40 House Ladies Drink $6 Maritnis Happy Hour music with Mark Lum
505 Front Street, Key West, FL 305-295-0501
35 KWBT
Allison at dante’s BT: How long have you been mixing? A: A couple of years. The Bottle Cap was my first job in 2006.
BT: Other than Dante’s, island’s best happy hour? A: I don’t make it to happy hour often except for Dante’s.
BT: How did you end up in Key West? A: My family was in the DC area & my dad got stationed here in the Coast Guard 5 years ago & I came with them.
BT: Paper, rock or scissors? A: Scissors.
BT: Favorite water sport (not drinking)? A: Watersport? Ooo sailing!
BT: What’s your favorite sport? A: (laughing) Thumb wrestling. Anything with body to body contact.
BT: Name, age & favorite color? Allison Hathaway, 27, but my birthday is at the end of October & yellow & red.
BT: Biggest bartending perks? A: The money. (laughs) Don’t put that. All the compliments I get! (laughs) Don’t put that either. BT: Where do you hang out after work? A: At work or Finnegan’s. At my house or the beach with a bottle of Jameson & wine. BT: What do you find most challenging about tending bar? A: When it’s slow & having to talk to people I normally wouldn’t talk to. BT: What’s an ideal night out? A: It depends on who I’m with. BT: Say you’re with me. A: You? We’d defiantly have to make it to the beach with a bottle of Jameson! (laughs) I do like going down to the beach at night. 36 KWBT
BT: Where do you go for last call? A: I usually don’t remember last call. BT: Do you have a favorite drink? A: Ummm, Jameson on the rocks. (laughs) BT: Your best & worst attributes are? A: I’m actually really shy. But I’m a good listener. BT: What Fantasy Fest event are you most looking forward to? A: The Green Party at Finnegan’s. BT: Do you work everyday that week? A: I don’t work nights, so I have every night off. I just have to worry about waking up. BT: We like small magazines - does size really matter? A: Yes. (laughs) Yes it does. That whole motion of the ocean thing... (shakes her head).
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Those old Mesopotamians Hopefully you are reading this with a nice cold beer in front of you. If not, throw away the sissy cocktail you mistakenly ordered and get a beer instead. Got it? Okay, let’s continue.
The Party animals of antiquity by leigh Pujado
That magnificent, frothy, delicious glass of fermented starch that sits before you is the world’s oldest alcoholic beverage. Beer has been around for so long that rules for its distribution are written in Hammurabi’s Code and there are actually brewing records in existence from 6,000 years ago written in Cuneiform by the Sumerians of Ancient Mesopotamia. Today, beer stands as the world’s second most popular beverage after tea, and we have those pioneering brew masters, the Sumerians of Mesopotamia, to thank. In all likelihood they discovered fermentation by accident. A piece of bread probably became wet, later fermented and then some jackass decided on a dare to consume the potent blob. This primitive beer, a crude, unfiltered, fermented liquid, was served in large jars with reed straws for filtering out barley, wheat husks, and insects 40 KWBT
and -voila! Instant ancient happy hour was born to help the Mesopotamians forget that they were, well, Mesopotamians.
Whether accidental or ingeniously intentional, the invention of beer far predates the invention of the wheel. In fact, because ancient civilization discovered the euphoric, mood altering properties of beer, it has been suggested by some scholars that beer actually delayed the invention of the wheel by a few thousand years. Still, you have to cut these ancient brewers some slack. You’d get a lot more accomplished too if you didn’t drink so much beer. Beer was so important back then that these party animals of antiquity had a special deity, Ninkasi the Goddess of Beer, who was the chief brewer and goddess of all alcoholic beverages. While there are no pictures of the Beer Goddess in existence, we know how important she was by the numerous written references to her and the many illustrations that have survived depicting beer
drinking. From translated texts of their civilization we gather that both the Mesopotamian prophets and their deities liked to get hammered on beer to trigger a state of ecstasy in which they would prophesy.
*An ancient prayer to the goddess, “The Hymn to Ninkasi,” contains within it the details of how the Mesopotamians made their beer, as well as reverence to this great goddess and chief brewer in the sky: “Ninkasi, you are the one who soaks the malt in a jar. The waves rise, the waves fall. You are the one who spreads the cooked mash on large reed mats” From ancient translated nuggets such as these, the Anchor Steam Brewing Company out of San Francisco was able to recreate the Mesopotamian’s beer recipe in 1989 from the Hymn to Ninkasi. They sold it as a limited edition brew labeled (what else?) “Ninkasi”. I wasn’t old enough to drink beer legally in 1989 so I don’t know how their recreation brew turned out. Suffice to say, our beer recipes have come a long way from the days of baking bread with sweet wort and honey down by the Tigris and the Euphrates.
By now you should be about ready for another cold beer. Just for fun, try quoting from the Hymn of Ninkasi directly to the bartender when he or she serves you. Say: “When you pour out the filtered beer of the collector vat It is like the onrush of Tigris and Euphrates.” Sure, the bartender is going to look at you funny. Just tell them that I told you to say it. Tell them to read BarTab Magazine. Tell them to bone up on their history and to drink more beer! “May Ninkasi live together with you! Let her pour for you beer.... While I feel wonderful, I feel wonderful, Drinking beer, in a blissful mood” *
footnotes: One example of the many plaques found in
Mesopotamia depicting a woman drinking beer (?) from a jar while having sexual intercourse. Clay plaque. Old Babylonian, around 1800 B.C.E. Drawing © S. Beaulieu, after Homan 2004: 93. Bibliography: Wikipedia. Ingestandimbibe.com Marjorie Dorfman Matrifocus.com Johanna Stuckey Hymn to Ninkasi translated by Miguel Civil
E-mail: cleighpujado@gmail.com 41
42 KWBT
43 KWBT
Bar & Restaurant Listings Listings appear in alphabetical order. if you would like to update, change or add a listing, please contact us at info@keywestbartab.com Cheers!
801 BOURBON
801 Duval, 294 4737
LAM
The front bar is the locals’ hangout. Drag shows upstairs at 9 & 11pm, bingo on Sun. In back, Saloon 1 is not for the timid or faint-hearted. 4 TVs (w/ porn)
✆UFO
915 (NINE ONE FIVE)
915 Duval, 296 0669 Med–New American tapas menu with a tuna dome that can’t be missed. One of the finest wine lists in the Keys with ample indoor & outdoor seating.
UF
ABBONDANZA
1208 Simonton, 292 1199 Warm & comfortable Italian restaurant that’s favored by locals. Enjoy your experience while seated on their comfy couches w/ loads of pillows.
UWFO
ALONZO’S 700 Front, 294 5880
One of the best views & great 4-6:30pm happy hour. Stay after for a top rate menu & seafood selection.
AMBROSIA
✆F
1403 Simonton, 293 0304 BarTab’s favorite sushi dig. Great bar, lounge & restaurant. The new look may be a bit much to some die hard fans, but they are still serving up some of the best sushi in town. 44 KWBT
✆UF
ANTONIA’S 615 Duval, 294 6565
Amazing Italian restaurant is one of Duval’s finest. 100s of wines by the bottle & original Italian daily menu creations. Opens at 5pm.
LAOM
AQUA 711 Duval, 294 0555
Mixing dance club w/ live shows Tues - Sun @ 9pm. Karaoke - Mon @ 8:30, Texas hold em’ Sat @ 4pm, Sun 3 & 6pm. HH: everyday 3–8pm, $3 wells & $2.50 domestics.
UMO
ART BAR 901 Caroline, 296 0424
Join them in their ‘Secret Spot’ ~ The BIG BACK DECK, for movies, performance & fun! A unique shopping (& drinking) experience!
UF
AZUR 425 Grinnell, 292 2987
Michael & Drew have opened what is to be one of Key West’s hot restaurants. Breakfast at 8am Mon-Fri with lunch till 2. Dinner 6-10 Mon-Sat. Brunch on Sundays.
LGO
BAGATELLE 115 Duval, 296 6609
Hide from the beer chugging contests of Duval & request your favorite martini. Serving food all day, with Nate & Claton at the bar.
FOM
BANANA CAFÉ 1211 Duval, 294 7227
Breakfast or lunch all day. Catch a burger at 9am, or try their crepes until they close at 4pm (5pm on weekends).
L
BARE ASSETS 1029 Truman, 296 3979
The name says it all. Opens at 4pm w/ happy hour on pretty much all drinks till 8pm. Nightly drink specials after that.
BEACH BAR @ the Pier House 01 Duval 296 4600
WFO
Stop by for lunch or just sit Oceanside at the bar & soak in some of their island drinks. Ask about their live music.
✆WUFO
BERLIN’S
700 Front, 294 5880 Feeling swanky? Go upstairs at A&B Lobster for one of the best menus in town. Great view of the harbor. & the only cigar bar in town.
UFL
BETTER THAN SEX
411 Petronia, 296 8102 Erotically charge atmosphere, sporting dishes like Jungle Fever & Missionary Crisp. Open Wed-Sun, 6pm-midnight.
LSGM
BIG’UNS 218 Duval, 292 0486
Food served all day & till 4am. Bar stays open late night. Live music around sunset & DJ rule late night 5 days a week. Back bar with games & 4 pool. 15 TVs & 4 projection TVs.
FO
BLACKFIN BISTRO 918 DUVAL, 509 7408
Bustling bistro with fantastic outdoor dining. Offers savory bistro cuisine with a true key-west flare. From breakfast to late night, this is the spot!
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
FOM
BLUE HEAVEN 729 Thomas, 296 8666
Cats & chickens living in harmony & an award winning wine list which complements extraordinary food.
WUFO
BLUE MOJITO 601 Front
At the Hyatt, plenty of waterfront couches to chill on. Get a little sun or hang in the shade. Light food served from daily & offering 20% locals’ discount.
LA
BOBBY’S MONKEY BAR
900 Simonton, 294 2655 One block off Duval, activities provided through the week. Karaoke 9pm Mon, & Wed - Fri. Tues 7pm pool tourney. HH noon-8pm on beer & wells.
LFO
BOGART’S 900 Duval, 296 0637
Escape Duval Street in this east-side bar. Kick your feet on one of their couches. Mix w/ the Key’s Irish implants. 2 TVs, 1 pool, juke tunes
LAO
BOURBON STREET 724 Duval, 294 9354
The ultimate guys only night out. Porn on TV, dancers on bars, & pool w/ waterfall. Mon is movie night & 2-4-1 Tues. 16 TVs (2 big, 3 w/ porn)
GOLM
BOTTLE CAP 1128 Simonton, 296 2807
Cool lounge design & a rock n’ roll twist, live music Thurs, DJ Music Fri & Sat., Great Food till 1 AM, New pool room w/ Aaron & Steve tendin’. Happy hour noon to 7 pm. Carolyn doing Friday charity happy hours.
F
THE COMMODORE
Mostly vegetarian entrees, sandwiches & awesome veggie burger. Organic wines & specialty beers & herbal teas. Open daily Mon–Sat & brunch on Sunday 9am-3pm. Delivery or take out.
704 Front, 294 9191
THE CAFÉ 509 Southard, 296 5515
UFO
CAFÉ SOLÉ 1029 Southard, 294 0230
A few blocks from Duval & some of the most authentic cuisine this side of Paris. Fine wine, sherry & ports.
UF
CAMILLE’S 1202 Simonton, 296 4811
A locals’ favorite w/ a menu that changes daily. Serving a fantastic breakfast, lunch & dinner. HH 4-7pm. Opens 8am-10pm(ish).
SFO
CAROLINE’S 310 Duval, 294 7511
This totally outdoors bar/restaurant is awesome. Great for people watching. Marc & the lovely Bethany in command. Delivery available. 2 TVs
SL
CPS SPORTS BAR 908 Kennedy, 294 4818
Hidden in the minimalls of new town, this is an escape from the clubs on Duval. HH 4pm-8pm, 13 TVs, 3 pool
L
CHART ROOM 1 Duval, 296 4600, ext 477
One of Key West’s oldest. Tucked inside the Pier House, opens at 4pm w/ $3 Bacardi. 2 TVs
O outdoor seating M entertainment L open late W
on the water
✆WUF
On the harbor walk, come to experience their spectacular creations. Stop in the lounge & have a nip on a Frost Bite. Open 5:30pm.
WFOM
CONCH REPUBLIC 631 Greene, 294 4403
This open-air bar offers dozens of rums & then some. Plenty of seats at the bar, w/ live music every night. Be sure to ask about the rum sampler.
L
CONCH TOWN TAVERN
3040 Roosevelt Previously the Esquire lounge & located next to the CT liquor store, this is a great New Town hang out. Awesome prices, 2 pool tables & Sam slingin’ drinks.
L
CROW’S NEST 208 Duval, 296 4890
Here’s your sanctuary within the walls of Rick’s. HH: Sun–Thur 12-4am, Fri & Sat 2-4am. Or just watch bands from above. Opens @ 9pm. 2 TVs
FO
CUBAN CONCH QUEEN 284 Margaret, 294 7787
200 sq ft located roadside in front of Waterfront, offering you essential smoothies, coffees & sandwiches to get your day started right. Open 6:30am with delivery.
WFOM
DANTE’S 951 Caroline, 293 5123
Pool side drinking & dining for people of all ages. HH Mon-Fri 4-8pm w/ all drinks almost half price & raw bar specials everyday with Jo, Jack & Patrick. 15 TVs
A alternative lifestyle
45 KWBT
SLO
DONS’ PLACE 1000 Truman, 296 5271
Closed only 3 hours, 6 days a week. Opens 7am & stays open till 4am. 10 TVs, 1 pool, 1 dart, 1 GT, juke tunes.
F
DUFFY’S 1007 Simonton, 296 4900
Specializing in Steak & Lobsters. Open for lunch & dinner, this is a great place to bring the family for a night out. Try Duffy’s special coffee rum.
SLOM
DURTY HARRY’S 208 Duval
Duval’s hidden sports bar encased in the back of the Rick’s complex. At night the TVs become secondary as bands that take the stage. 15 TVs
FOM
EL MESON DE PEPE’S 410 Wall, 295 2620
Some of the best Cuban in Key West & located on Mallory Square w/ live music daily. Dishing out the strongest Mojito this side of Cuba.
F
EL SIBONEY 900 Catherine, 296 4184
When your pockets are feeling light, Siboney can at least keep your belly full with great Cuban food at extremely reasonable prices.
EURO GARDEN CAFE 124 Duval, 293 9599
F
Try out the Euro Cafe for a taste of eastern Europe. Breakfast lunch after the 1st of the year. Dinner served 6-11pm, bar stay open till later.
46 KWBT
LOM
FAT TUESDAY 305 Duval, 296 9373
“Home of the World Famous Frozen Drinks” direct from New Orleans placed conveniently on Duval. Ask for your tooter as well. 8 TVs, 1 pool.
LGOM
FINNEGAN’S WAKE 320 Grinnell, 293 0222
Probably the best draft selection in the lower keys & a sweet outdoor patio. You can get served food here till at least 1am.
LFO
FOGARTY’S
227 Duval, 294 7525 A slew of local & tourist friendly bartenders. The back bar is a haven for locals at night. Lunch & dinner at great prices. 20 TVs (8 in A/C!)
✆LFO
GRAND CAFÉ 314 Duval, 292 4740
Proving to be an outstanding decision for lunch &/or dinner. Serving one of the best menus in town, plus mojitos & the Grand Margarita.
O
GRAND VIN 1107 Duval, 296 1020
This wine shop & bar is a great place to start or end an evening. Buy a bottle, then head to the porch for a table. Vin pours wine by the glass & a few beers.
LM
GREEN PARROT
601 Whitehead, 294 6133 Probably the biggest anchor in town. The best live acts in the Keys w/ Pat, Beav & Jim who make slinging drinks look as easy as drinkin’em. 4 TVs, 2 pool, 1 dart.
LM
GUY HARVEY 511 Greene, 295 0019
Huge sound system, two bars, even bigger aquariums. Playing live local & out of town music. Stop by to see original Guy Harvey art.
WFO
HALF SHELL RAW BAR 231 Margaret, 294 7496
Great raw bar on the harbor walk. Great bar to kick a few back & relax. Local’s favorite every hour. HH 4:30-6:30pm
FO
HARD ROCK CAFÉ 313 Duval, 293 0230
The Key’s very own Rock & Roll museum w/ a multi-level patio bar & restaurant. Plenty of KW HR goods available, too. 9 TVs
WFOM
HOGFISH
6810 Front (Stock Isl.), 293 4041
Housing live music Thurs-Sun while chowin’ on their Hogfish sandwich. Breakfast Sat & Sun at 8am. HH 4-7pm Mon-Sat. 4 TVs, 1 pool
LFOM
HOG’S BREATH 400 Front, 292 2032
Catering to the tourist crowd & also remains a favorite of locals. Some of the best bands playing music in town. HH 5-7pm & 1-2am. 6 TVs
✆UWFO
HOT TIN ROOF 0 Duval, 296 7701
Check out the lounge & ask Sheila & Zack about the Hot-Tintini. Sit back & take in the beautiful mahogany bar. Opens at 6pm. Sheila & Zack pourin’ martinis.
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
WFO
HURRICANE HOLE 5110 Overseas Hwy, 294 0200
At Hurricane Hole Marina, across the Stock Isl. bridge. A haven for locals to hang out on the water. Sunday brunch w/ full liquor bar. Happy hour 4-7pm everyday.
GOL
IGUANA CAFE 425 Greene, 296 6420
Rolling out a revamped breakfast menu, serving food 8am-2am (or later) steps away from the 200 block of Duval. Home to over 20 drafts & a full liquor bar. Open 7 days a week.
IN KAHOOTS
509 1/2 Duval, 294 7955
Get your face here on game day or chill with the cool bar staff the rest of the days. Doug & Matt represent late night. Great grub served to 1am or later. 38 TVs (10 huge)
F
Located at the Holiday Inn, Kahoot serves breakfast all day & has HH from noon-7pm. Game room for the kids or you once your buzz is on.
LFM
IRISH KEVIN’S
211 Duval, 292 1262 New bar stage-side in the back. Watch Guinness chugging contests
on stage, accompanied by live music all day long. Dave & Heath behind the bar keeping you sloshed.
LF
ISLAND DOGS
Serving up $3 Bacardi mojitos everyday, all day. Wed is Latin night with an upscale twist. Blue Martini Thurs gets ladies $6 martinis. Food served until 3am or later in a plush bar & lounge setting.
UFO
KELLY’S
303 Whitehead, 293 8484
Spectacular outdoor dining area to enjoy Key West’s days & nights. HH 4-7pm on drinks & wings at the bar. Try one of the micro brewed beers poured by Christopher, Doug, Jenny & Erica.
UFOML
THE KEYS
3850 N. Roosevelt, 294 9986
505 Front, 295 0501
SLG
JACK FLATS
1114 Duval, 294 8859 Listen to some of Key West’s & NYC’s best performers at this Duval Street piano bar or relax outside at the Keys outdoor patio. Opens everyday at 5pm.
LA
KWEST
705 1/2 Duval, 292 8500 Shows nightly at 10pm. Guys, amateur night is on Sat (w/ $2 Bud & Bud Lts.), think you got it? 2TVs (1 flat w/ nude show). HH open–8pm.
LA TE DA
1125 Duval, 296 6706
ULFOM Outside full liquor
bar. Shows in the Crystal Room & piano bar. HH 12-7pm on beer, wells & wine.
LA TRATTORIA
524 Duval, 296 1075
✆UF
Probably the Keys’ best Italian! Classic cuisine & impressive wine list. The street side bar is perfect to sip on libations w/ Erin & Kathy.
O outdoor seating M entertainment L open late W
on the water
SLO
LAZY GECKO 203 Duval, 292 1903
Corey, Rey & the chicks throwin’ the best party! Ladies drink free Thurs 12-4am. Redneck Wed w/ $1 beers. HH 5-8pm (till midnight Sun & Mon). 11 TVs (10 flat)
✆WUFO
LOUIE’S BACKYARD 700 Waddell, 294 1061
Hang out ocean side on the After Deck & sip on some of Louie’s passion. Food 11:30am & dinner 6pm.
FO
MANGOES 700 Duval, 292 4606
Located at the corner of Duval & Angela, Mangoes has a very classy & relaxing dining patio complete w/ an outdoors bar. Open 11am-1am.
LOM
MANGOES NIGHTCLUB
700 Duval, 292 4606 The party up top gets going at 11pm Fri & Sat nights. First Sat of the month House tunes till 4am. Fridays are Conch Classics, call 305.304.1188 for info.
UFO
MARTIN’S
917 Duval, 295 0111 European style restaurant nicely settled on upper Duval. Saturday night various DJs play lounge tunes 10pm-1am with 1/2 price well drinks from 1011pm. Great menu & street-side lounge.
UFO
MICHAELS 532 Margaret, 295 1300
Located in the back streets of Old Town, this is a Key West favorite. Owner & Chef Michael Wilson offers a classic menu w/ an island twist.
A alternative lifestyle
47 KWBT
L
MR. CHEAPEE’S
423 Duval, 305 292 6041
Old Town’s largest selection of beers — both domestic & imports. Cheapee’s offers a wide variety of liquors & wines to suit every taste and every price range.
LF
MR. Z’S
501 Southard, 305 296 4445
Grinders, pizza, & the best Cheesesteaks in Key West! Open till 4am every night, just a half block off Duval. See their menu on page 51.
OLD TOWN MEXICAN CAFÉ
FO
609 Duval, 296 7500
Passive ethnic décor enhances your Mexican experience. Beer & wine w/ a handful of Mexican beers, but we opt for the pitchers of sangria.
UF
OPERA 613 Duval, 295 2705
One of Duval Street’s best, w/ great beers & wines. Opera has received an “extraordinary” award from Zagats for their fine quality foods.
FO
ORIGAMI 1075 Duval, 294 0092
Offering a highenergy sushi bar & an plenty of outdoor seating, coupled w/ astounding sushi. Beer & wine as well as a large supply of sake.
AFO
PEARL’S 525 United, 292 1450
The Distinctive Resort for Women in Key West. Poolside bar & food served. 2 blocks from the Southernmost Point. HH Mon-Sat 5-7pm.
48 KWBT
✆UF
PISCES 1007 Simonton, 294 7100
Pisces has received awards from Zagats & AAA 4 diamond & original Warhols on the wall. Open at 6pm & reservations recommended.
FO
POINT 5
915 Duval, 296 0669 Elegant but not extravagant, Pt5 is situated about 915. Marble
top bar & 2nd story balcony. Pouring a variety of beers & wine in a very unique setting.
UWF
PRIME STEAKHOUSE
951 Caroline, 296 4000 This tucked away gem is located upstairs from Dante’s. Serving $5 martinis at the bar all summer long, plus their upscale steak & seafood menu is complemented by a excellent wine list.
FO Serving some of the
RED FISH - BLUE FISH 407 Front, 294 9292
best seafood in town. Steps away from Mallory Square, great pre & post-sunset destination. Louie C throwing the Latin Party at 10pm Sat.
RED GARTER
L
208 Duval, 296 4890
Slim pickings on Rick’s dance floor guys? Go towards Durty Harry’s & duck into the Garter to see all of the beautiful ladies of Rick’s.
RICK’S DOWNSTAIRS 208 Duval, 296 4890
LOM
This part of Rick’s offers a laid back alternative for live music. Karaoke everyday & live music all week. Kelly & Big Rick on crowd control.
LO
RICK’S UPSTAIRS
208 Duval, 296 4890
Hormone-fueled crowds dance to DJ’s spinning dance melodies w/ 2 decks above Duval. Things kick off at 8pm & go late. 15 TVs.
UFOM
ROOFTOP CAFE 310 Front, 294 2042
Great deck overlooking Front St. Live music playing regularly with a great martini list. Opens at 10:30am.
RUM BARREL
SGOM
528 Front, 292 7862 Here is your Eagles’ & Philly’s Southernmost headquarters. Sweet upper deck with outdoor pool table & live music on weekends. 10 flat HD TVs. More than 100 rums poured by Jodi, Jay & Casey.
RUM RUNNER’S HOUSE
LO
1117 Duval, 296 2680 Open till 1am or later. This rum & cigar bar has a walk-in humidor & plenty of cigar selections. Full liquor bar & HH 4-7pm.
RUMBAS
FO
1117 Duval, 296 2680 Cuban fare in the on Duval. Serving breakfast, lunch & dinner.
SALSA LOCA
628 Duval, 292 1865
WFO
Best authentic Mexican food in Key West! Eat chips & salsa till you can’t anymore. Open Tues-Sun 11am10pm, 11pm on the weekends.
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
WFO
ALUTE 1000 Atlantic, 292 1117
Get to Higgs Beach for a terrific beach front treat. A casual atmosphere dishing up lunch & dinner. HH 4-7pm w/ $1 off drinks. Opens 11:30am
✆FO
SANTIAGO’S BODEGA 207 Petronia, 296 7691
Enjoy a unique dining experience. With over 30 tapas style dishes & great wine - escape the crowds at this cozy restaurant in the heart of Bahama Village.
LFOM
SCHOONER WHARF
202 William, 292 9520
Spacious marineside bar where the din of local chatter & live music fills the air. See the only Bar Magician in the Keys. 2 TVs, 1 pool
WFO
SEAWWEEDS
3101 N. Roosevelt, 294 8600
Steak, chicken & seafood. All you can eat shrimp or Mahi Mahi for $11.95 all day. Opens at 11:30am with covered dock side dining.
✆UF
SEVEN FISH
623 Olivia, 296 2777
Nestled in KW‘s the sleepy backstreets, 7 Fish has become a favorite for “locals in the know”. Eclectic menu w/ emphasis on local catch.
SLG
SHANNA KEY 1900 Flagler, 295 8880
Great selection of ales & great Irish food served till 3am. You can always find Barry & Peter up for a drink. 7 TVs, 1 GT ‘06, internet juke tunes.
49 KWBT
WUFO
SHOR 601 Front, 809 4000
Savor million dollar bay views and delicious cuisine with the freshest catch from land and sea in this extraordinary new Key West restaurant.
LFM
SLOPPY JOE’S 201 Duval, 294 5717
With enough entertainment from people watching alone, but they also complement it w/ live music all day. Check out the their Backroom Saloon.
WFO
SOUTHERNMOST CAFÉ 1405 Duval, 295 6550
This beach side restaurant braves the morning to serve breakfast. One of the few bars on Key West w/ a beach. Chair rentals & other water activities. HH: 4–8pm. 5 TVs
UFOM Enjoy yourself at this
SPORTS PAGE
610 Greene, 296 3230 local watering hole. Guaranteed 15 min lunch Mon-Fri. Food till 3am & 2 HHs daily. 2-4-1’s 4-8pm & half priced drinks 11pm-1am. 6TVs,
3 big screens.
UFOM
SQUARE ONE
1075 Duval, 296 4300
In Duval Square plaza, w/ a menu of largely American-style seafood. Try Patrick’s “Monkey Nuts”. B&L served 11am–3pm, Dinner starts at 6pm.
STICK N’ STEIN
1126 N Roosevelt, 296 3352
SL Housing over
80 TVs, 4 bowlingo lanes, 10 pool tables, 6 Golden Tees, this could be the entertainment capital of Key West. 50 KWBT
WFOM
SUNSET PIER
0 Duval, 296 7701
This could be the beginning or end of your Duval crawl. A great place for sunsets, try the Monkey Love or a Funky Fish cocktail. Stephen Marley Feb 27th.
L
TEASER’S
218 Duval, 292 0486 Now moved slightly, the new Teaser’s has slick lighting & sound system. Plenty of girls hanging out all night long. Grey Goose VIP room available.
WUOM
THE TOP
430 Duval, 296 2991
Seven stories above the Crown Room, best known for their sunset view. One of, if not the best sights in Key West. Full moon party every month.
WFO
TOWN & TAVERN
3841 Roosevelt, 296 3676 Rated the best restaurant & bar in the US by Marriot guests.
The T&T has a 2-4-1 happy hour everyday, plus on Tues & Thurs 2-4-1 tapas at the bar.
WFO
TURTLE KRAALS
WLO
WHITE TARPON
700 Front, 295 5222
Featuring Key Lime martinis w/ graham cracker rims poured daily. Beer, liquor & wines, available to-go as well.
LGM
WILLIE T’S 525 Duval, 294 7674
Late night menu with panini, pizzas & more. Peggy serving 31 flavors of mojitos. HH 4-7pm. Mojitos Monday 2-4-$12, Thurs Trivia night @ 10pm. Bands take the stage Fri at 4pm & Sat at 10pm.
WINE GALLEY PIANO BAR One Duval, 296 4600
WM
One of Key West’s newest additions, specializing in wine & martinis. Ladies night on Tuesday & happy hour all night, every night. A perfect spot to sneak away with friends or to find new ones.
WORLD’S SMALLEST BAR 124 Duval, 294 8507
L
The world’s smallest bar lives up to its name. Blink & you might miss it. This place stays open late night on Duval.
231 Margaret, 294 2640 This harbor front restaurant serves a smokehouse fare w/
breakfast 7-11am. Awesome view at the TK tower bar. Great sunset view w/ HH 4-6:30pm.
LOM
VIRGILIO’S 524 Duval, 296 8118
The backyard of La Trat becomes the best late night, upscale martini bar. Great patio, this classy bar has live jazz music Wen & Thurs, rotating bands Fri & Sat & DJ’s late night & becomes home of the $5 martini every Mon night!
✆ reservations recommended U upscale F food served G food served late S sports
51 KWBT
52 KWBT
53 KWBT
Sandwiches
Appetizers Tex-Mex Rolls 7.95 Egg Rolls w/ spicy Chicken, Corn, Black Beans, Cheese & Onion Redenbacher Shrimp 9.95 Bite sized Shrimp fried golden brown, with Cocktail Sauce Tomato Lovers’ Bruschetta 7.95 Baguette, w/ Tomatoes, Garlic, Mozzarella, & Balsamic Vinegar Quesadillas Chicken or Shrimp 8.95 w/ Jack & Cheddar, Peppers, Onions, Tomatoes & Jalapenos Buffalo Style Chicken Wings 7.95 Mild, Medium, or Hot with Celery & Bleu Cheese Dressing
Fresh Green Salads The Bittersweet 9.95 Endive, Arugula, Gorgonzola Cheese, Candied Pecans, & Spring Lettuce in a light Vinaigrette Caesar Salad 7.95 add Chicken or Shrimp 9.95 Macon & Bacon 9.95 Crispy Fried Chicken, Roasted Corn, Sweet Onions, Crunchy Bacon, & Maple Georgia Pecans, with Romaine Lettuce, & our own Home-style Ranch Dressing Southwestern Chicken Salad 9.95 Grilled Chicken, Roasted Corn, Black Beans, Tomatoes, Tortilla Strips, & Cheddar & Jack Cheeses, in a Spicy Lime Dressing 54 KWBT
Sandwiches served with French Fries. Delivered sandwiches served with Potato Chips. Cajun Blackened Chicken Sandwich 7.95 Cajun Chicken w/ Cheddar, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion & Spicy Mayo Caroline’s Famous Fish Sandwich 7.95 Fresh Fried Golden Brown with Lettuce, Tomato & Tartar Front Street Club 7.95 Turkey, Ham, Provolone, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato & Mayo Cuban Mix 8.95 Pork, Ham, Bacon, Pickles, & Mustard on Grilled Cuban Bread Rev. Joe’s Burger 8.95 The BIGGEST, the BEST, served with Lettuce, Tomato, Onion add Bacon or American, Provolone, or Cheddar $1 each
Caroline’s Favorites Chicken Broccolini 13.95 Grilled Chicken Breast, Penne Pasta, & Fresh Broccoli, in a creamy Parmesan/Romano Sauce Kingston Chicken 15.95 Spicy Marinated Jerk Chicken with Rice, Black Beans, & fried Plantains (Breast & Wing with Bones) Spicy Cajun Jambalaya 16.95 sautéed Shrimp, Chicken, & Andouille Sausage, Peppers, Onions, & Tomatoes, over Rice
55 KWBT
Do You Remember When... by Mike Marrero
During these harder times I’ve noticed an undercurrent of nostalgia running through local conversation. Everyone reminiscing over days gone by & lamenting the ways things used to be. More times than not this conversation takes place over happy hour, on a Friday, after receiving a check that’s not as large as you hoped. My take on this golden vision of the not too distant past? It’s selfpitying bullshit. That’s my opinion. Granted, Key West did have a golden age but that was way back when our grandparents would have been our age. People may bitch about what is lost but the universe does not tolerate unoccupied space, so for everything that’s been lost something has been gained. Some things we lost I say good riddance to while others make my heart ache. On the flip side, some of what we’ve gained I say “It’s about god damned time”, while others I just sigh & mutter, “God dammit” under my breath. With that said it’s time to set the record straight and, as an added bonus, I’ll countdown the three best Key West happy hours of all-time, starting with…
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The Corner Store Brown Bag Special (1812 present) I’m talking about the old school, mom & pop corner grocery, where the blue collars enjoy their post work brews. Its coldest beer you’re gonna have on this island, served up in an elegant brown paper bag. There are only a few left in town & I ain’t telling locations. What We Lost – The 200 block of Duval, catching your supper from White Street pier, kids playing in the street, drinking beer (legally) on the beach under a full moon & no, those stupid full moon parties don’t count, House Boat Row, the real Stock Island (the Drive-In, the Dog Track, Shrimp Boat Row…), the Southernmost Point, the eccentrics – Captain Outrageous was the last, the old timers – Shine was the last.
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Grand Vin The Sean McConual Wine-O-Rama (1998 - present) Grand Vin doesn’t have a formal happy hour, what it does have is a happy-go-lucky owner who likes to drink…. fine wine… generously… with whoever happens to be around. If you’re lucky enough to catch it, the following will occur. You will drink probably the best wine you’ve ever had. You will be hung over. You will likely see Sean’s penis at some point during the night. You will have a brilliant story to tell the friends back home. What We’ve Gained – Snow birds, rules & regulations, diversity some may argue this point but there are more ethnic groups here now than there has ever been, jewfish aka the goliath grouper (a honest to God comeback story), mopeds, electric cars & every other form of transportation imaginable, an unhealthy fear of hurricanes, consistent electricity, iguanas, the ages between 45 & 65, & most tragically 5 o clock traffic.
And the best Happy Hour in the history of Key West was…
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Boca Chica Bar Free Beer Today! (January 14, 2006) For over 40 years this shit-hole was a real bar with real people who had real problems. It was home to smugglers, shrimpers, fisherman & conchs. The type of place where carrying a concealed weapon was not only allowed, it was recommended. Its claim to fame was a hand painted sign on the front wall that read “Free Beer Tomorrow”. Of course tomorrow was always just around the corner. Until one day it wasn’t & it was time to close for good. On that final day the owners Xed out the tomorrow & changed it to “Free Beer Today!” It was a happy hour that shut the door on an era. What the Future Holds - probably more tourists, probably more hurricanes, new businesses that will become classics, new bars that will become legendary. And then, they too shall pass. The one thing I do guarantee is we’ll be old men and woman sitting around some new watering hole reminiscing about the good ol’ days which we are living right now.
Mike Marrero was born & raised in Key West. See his work at www.MarreroStudio.com. 57 KWBT
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I'm warning you up front that this is going to come off like Andy Rooney yammering, but time is of the essence as my radio show just went daily again. Come to think of it, being in a hurry fits in well with a Happy Hour issue. Daytime workers running to the bar to get a quick buzz so they can deal with the wife and kids. Fellow bartenders coming in to get tanked before the late night shift. And as Andy would say...
“Why is it they call it happy hour anyway? If half price wings and $1 drafts are the highlight of your day it might be time for a hobby.” Don't get me wrong I'm all for daybombing. If I were a king it would be law that everybody needs to be stumbling drunk by 3pm. I love alcohol, but even more I love drunks. People think I got into comedy because I like making people laugh, I just like standing in front of drunks and talking, and that's the only place to do it. Face it - I'm not going to meetings. Have you noticed alcohol always gets a bad rap. Open the paper, you never see a good alcohol story. They put all the DWIs in the paper but you never read article that starts 400 pound woman finally gets laid 'cause Timmy drank too much at a kegger.
You're never watching television and see a news break that says "nagging wife still alive as husband reaches for Jager instead of rifle." I'm at the age where all my friends are having kids and I realized from hanging out with my friends kids I get along really well with toddlers. Then it came to me, it was because I was so used to hanging out with drunks. Essentially a drunk and a toddler are the same person. They have no idea where they are, they have drool coming running down their chin. At any given moment they may crap their pants and eventually they're gonna fall down. I was at my friend's place last week and his three year old ran in the room, screamed at me the monkey was attacking the ship, then ran in the kitchen for cookies. My roommate did the exact same thing Saturday night. I found out a big difference though between toddlers and drunks, when you're hanging with a toddler at the end of the night you can't give him a twenty and throw him in a cab. It's frowned upon.
Vinny K is a stand-up comic, syndicated radio host & writer and can be heard worldwide @ 77wrcr.com
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