©
The Key West Bar Tab Staff P.O. Box 833 Key West, FL 33041 KWBT@hotmail.com
Editor-@-Large Larry Bradley Bradley@keywestbartab.com Editor-in-Charge Rodrigo Mendez mendez@keywestbartab.com Contributors: Leigh Pujado, writer pujado@keywestbartab.com Randy, bouncer randythebouncer@keywestbartab.com Vinny-K, single and available k@keywestbartab.com Photography & Illustration by Rodrigo Mendez
if you would like to place an ad in the Bar Tab, contact us at info@keywestbartab.com Thank you
this is what the icons mean: BTP
bar tab preferred
D
dancing
LM
live music
OS
outdoor seating
AL
alternative lifestyle
NSO NSA
non-smoking only non-smoking available
NF
no frills
FS
food served
FSL
food served late
OL
open late
LB
locals bar
S
sports bar
U
upscale
OV
ocean view
DUVAL ST.
MAP FRONT ST. GREENE ST. CAROLINE ST.
EATON ST. FLEMING ST. SOUTHARD ST. ANGELA ST. PETRONIA ST. OLIVIA ST.
TRUMAN AVE. (U.S.1) VIRGINIA ST. AMELIA ST. CATHERINE ST. LOUISA ST. UNITED ST. SOUTH ST.
WHITEHEAD ST.
SIMONTON ST.
Welcome to the first issue of
The Key West Bar Tab. It was an immense undertaking to experience all the bars of Key West and after a few too many long nights we realized that the goal of our first issue would focus on the bars that have settled in on Duval Street. Or, as our marketing department likes to refers to it, (Da da da da!) The Duval Street Issue. The bars of Duval Street on our list are in alphabetical order and include icons to show what these bars, restaurants and clubs offer. Also, a brief description of the establishment, as well as the address, phone number and when possible, the mixologists of these fine venues.
We hope that our list gives those of you who are visiting useful local lore and to those who live here info on places that you may not have wondered into... yet. So all who brave the Duval crawl, good luck, good drinking, tip well and be sure to get the Bar Tab. -The Editors Like the Bar Tab? Want to write for the Bar Tab? For employment info contact info@keywestbartab.com The bars in the Key West Bar Tab are listed in alphabetical order. All omissions are at the discretion of the publisher and no moneys or services were exchanged for the listings provided. Published in association w/ Flypaper Publishing, LLC.
801 Bourbon
LM AL OL LB
801 Duval 294 4737
801 offers 3 bars with unique digs. The front bar acts as the main hangout with Tam pouring cocktails. Drag shows upstairs starting at 9 and 11 pm and also the Saloon 1 back room bar with Michael & Bill is not for the timid or faint hearted. Pool tournaments on Saturdays, 3 bars, 4 TV’s (all w/ porn), and 1 pool www.801bourbon.com
915 Wine Bar
915 Duval
OS NSA FS U
With eclectic decor, progressive world music and innovative photo art, 915 has put its mark in Key West as simply one of the coolest restaurants on the island. Siobhain and Stewart left nothing to chance when they put together a varied tapas menu. Have Alex pour from one of the best wine lists we have seen so far.
Alice’s NSO
FS OL LB U
1114 Duval 296 6706
You can’t get anything you want at Alice’s, but they’ll come close. Alice has returned to her previous location across from La-Te-Da’s with a chic new world style menu. Todd pouring Alice’s favorite dirty, stinking, rotten martini (sounds bad, but oh so good). Open 6 – 11pm with outdoor seating coming soon.
Angelina’s Pizzeria
208 Duval 296 OS NF FSL 3600 Not a traditional bar, but the Bar Tab knights thee one. Best late night pizza on the strip and serving it till 1 am or later. Pinball to play while your waiting for a slice. Drafts x 3, to compliment the pizza of course. Tad at the counter here.
Antonia’s NSO FS U
615 Duval 294 6565
NSO
This gorgeous bar-restaurant is one of Duval’s finest. Over 100 bottles of wine and original daily menu creations. Get some tapas and wine at the bar from Mindy to start or let her style you all night long for a great Antonia’s experience. Too crowded for you to eat? Ask about their stylish upstairs dining room. www.antoniaskeywest.com
Aqua D LM AL OL
711 Duval 294 0555
Sneak into the back for a drink with Cincinnati Patty at the wet bar till 1 am. Monday come for Karaoke with Gigi. Tuesday is service industry night with happy hour all night long. Sunday Aqua hosts live jazz and blues acts from 6–8pm. Drag shows every Tuesday and Thursday through Saturday. HH: 2–8pm with $3 wells and $2.25 domestics. 6 TV’s
Awful Arthur’s
628 Duval 293 7669
Arthur has gone fishing and is supposed to be back soon.
Bacchus at La-Te-Da LM OS FS OL LB U
1125 Duval 296 6706
Alice has moved across the street folks, leaving Bacchus, the god of wine in charge. This Mediterranean style restaurant doubles as a swanky martini bar. Come in and get one of John or Amy’s Randypolitan. Three bars to keep us quenched with shows nightly in the Crystal Room and piano bar. HH: Open till 7 pm on beer, wells and wine.
Bagatelle Restaurant BTP OS NSA FS OL
115 Duval 296 6609
Patio and deck seating a plenty, though we advise the venture in and up to the top bar. See the great Cecil for a grape-Cecil. An excellent date destination, this hip Duval Street dig won’t disappoint. Dishes at lunch are $10 - 16, and dinner’s around $20. www.bagatelle-keywest.com
Banana Café
BTP OS NSA FS
1211 Duval 294 7227
The Banana, even though serving only beer and wine, earns their spot in the Bar Tab. Carina’s here serving breakfast and lunch all day. So, you can catch a burger at 8:30 am, or if you’re getting a late start (or heading to bed) try one of their omelets or Key West famous crepes until they closes at 4pm (5pm on Sat & Sun).
Bear Bottom Beach Club
LM FSL OL
218 Duval 292 0486
Duval Streets newest addition brings dueling pianos downtown Tuesday though Saturday. Live music regularly during the week as well. Late night street side food counter here as well.
Beach Bar @ the Pier House
LM OS FS OV
01 Duval 296 4600
Ginene says, “The Pier House punch is magnificent” and the Bar Tab concurs. Sip on some drinks and get some great food or sit ocean side and soak in some rays. Live music Thursday- Sunday evenings. 2 TV’s.
Billy Fish Bar & Grill LM OS FS OV
0 Duval 295 7045
The Bull (&whistle) LM NF OL
224 Duval 296 4490
If you’re driving a cruise ship here’s ground 0. Great place to experience sunsets with shaded fiesta style seating. Grab some Monkey Love or a Funky Fish from Libby or Sue. $5 wells, $3 & 4 drafts with food served till 11ish ($8 -16). 3 TV’s, 2 disco balls (1 huge). www.oceankey.com
The Bull offers everything from early Elvis shows to late night acoustic rock from Freemont John. Live music all day, 7 days a week. Tell Terry or Kristine the Bar Tab sent you and get 2 margaritas (or one large) for $6.50 or try Debbie’s award winning Bloody Maria! www.bullandwhistle.com
Bogart’s
Caroline’s
900 Duval 296 0637 OS NF FS OL LB Find escape from the swift pace of Duval Street on this East Side bar. Pull up at the bar or kick up your feet on one of their many couches. Mix with the locals and let Sara make you feel at home. Juke with good tunes. 2 TV, 1 Pool.
Bourbon Street Pub
724 Duval
BTP D OS AL OL LB If testosterone is what you crave than your home . Porn on TV at Aaron’s bar, dancers on Bob’s bar, a pool with waterfall and a bar in the backyard with Buddy and David. Monday night at the movies, Tuesday 2for1 till 2 am, Wednesday $10 all (wells) you can drink, Thursday $5 Bone Island teas, Saturday BBQ plate for a buck (that’s $1). 16 TV’s (2 big, 3 with porn), 1 pool (literally).
OS NF FS
310 Duval 294 7511
An outdoor bar that offers cheap drinks Caroline’s is also great people watching. Should we say more? We will. This totally outdoor bar/restaurant is awesome if the weather cooperates. Mark regulating the bar at night, Lester holding the fort during the day. Garret & Gemma filling in here too. 2 TV’s
Chartroom BTP OL LB
1 Duval 296 4600, ext 477
One of Key West’s oldest bars. Rumor has it it’s where the Buffet’s met. In fact this bar is so popular a few souls have pulled up a stool forever! Opens at 4pm with Valerie dishing out $2 beers, $3 wells and Bacardi. 2 TV’s, 1 popcorn machine.
We caught up with Marla of Sloppy Joe’s, of Key West, Florida, on Wednesday morning before the rush hit. After a few Sloppyritas and some guitar playing of Terry Cassidy we had a chance to pick her brain and watch the Marvelous Marla at work...
BT: Come here often? M: I came to Key West in ‘97 for a 3 week bar gig and it’s been the longest 3 weeks of my life.
BT: Not a bad office here. M: Yeah, makes this hobby called work a lot easier.
BT: Biggest Key West pet pev? M: I really wish people who come here would just drive a bit slower. BT: Ever get any famous people? M: I did meet a really famous NASCAR guy, but to be honest I can’t remember his name. BT: What’s the deal with Speakeasy? M: it opened as a cigar bar in the late 90’s but now it’s an employee lounge. BT: Do people come looking for Sloppy Joe? M: Always. You get all sorts of questions; “Where did Hemmingway sit?” BT: Speaking of... Where did Hemming way sit? M: Next to the guy buying his drink. BT: What are your favorite bar or restaurant in Key West? M: I still go the the Half Shell. It was my first job here, so I still have a soft spot for it. Great workers there, too.
BT: Who would win a battle: SilverMan or Wizard Guy? M: I don’t know? Oh wait, dog cat and mouse. BT: 3 against one, hardly seems fair. BT: What are your nights off like? M: I’m a New Englander, so we hang out around the dining room table a lot. BT: Biggest difference between New England and Key West? M: I am not shoveling snow anymore - bullshit’s my specialty. This is true. Be sure to bring your boots and spend some time with Marla at Sloppy Joe’s. Catch her here every Wed through Sat at the Front Street side bar starting at 11am.
Crabby Dicks
712 Duval 294 7229
OS NSA FS S
Crow’s Nest
NF OL LB
208 Duval 296 4890
Crabby’s offers second story dinning for all ages. Wonderful place to bring the fam or the guys for a night out. Scott, Kirby & Kelly keeping your thirst under wraps here. HH: 4 –7 with $1 Buds and Coors drafts, $2 wells and wines, some discounted chow, too. 6 TV’s www.crabbydickskeywest.com
If needed, here’s your spot for sanctuary within the walls of Rick’s. Also a place to throw down at the bar with Les & Donny late night HH: Sun – Thur 12 - 4am, Fri & Sat 2 - 4 am. Or just come here to watch Durty Harry’s from above. Opens @ 9pm. 2 TV’s www.ricks-keywest.com
Croissants De France
Durty Harry’s
OS NSA FS
816 Duval 294 2624
This Duval Street café is a bit surprising. From the front it looks like a patio pastry shop, but this remarkable place expands deep behind the shop to offer a great outdoors dinning area. Serving a menu with over 100 meal variations, which is unexpectedly uncomplicated. Open 7:30am 3:30pm B&L, reopening at 6:30pm for dinner.
The Crown Room
LM NSO U
430Duval 296 2991 or 800 745 2195
This swanky spot is a nice break from the normal hustle of Duval Street. Grab a table for some excellent food and still keeping an eye on the action. Or sit at the bar and enjoy the tranquility it offers while chatting it up with Brett. Live pianist (that’s a piano player) every Fri & Sat.
LM OS OL S
208 Duval 296 4890
Duval’s hidden sports bar incased in the back of the Rick’s mega bar complex. At night however, the TVs become secondary to the bands that take the stage. Fred’s not missing a beat behind the bar here. 15 TV, 3 Bars www.ricks-keywest.com
Duval Beach Club OS FS OV
1405 Duval 295 6550
Previously Kelly’s on the beach, this place is located at the east end of Duval Street. A bar/ restaurant braves the morning light to also bring you breakfast. After that however, it becomes one of the few bars on Key West that has an ocean view with a beach to sip drinks on. Sheila tending here. HH: 4 – 8 pm. 5 TV’s (1 big)
Fat Tuesday
305 Duval 296 9373 OS OL “Home of the World’s Famous Frozen Drinks” direct from New Orleans placed conveniently on Duval Street. Puffy & Matt pouring the brain freeze here as well as some other cold beverages. Be sure to ask for your tooter as well. 8 TV’s, 2 bars, 1 pool
Fogarty’s
OS NSA FS OL S
227 Duval 294 7525
Sip slushies street side with Brian & Bill or drink discretely at the dive bar with Ray & Gil. Tremendous dishes served here in both quality and quantity. Inside bar as well for AC seekers. 25 TVs (15 in AC), 3 bars
The Garden OS NSA FS
917 Duval 292 0700
Previously the Lighthouse Café, Berry has managed to create an upscale and extremely affordable fine dinning restaurant. Beer and wine available here. Ask if the “bar” in the back is being seated.
The Garden of Eden D OS AL
224 Duval 296 4565 or 4490
Perched atop The Bull & Whistle, this roof top bar offers an open view of the city and its patrons. Not meant for the shy or bashful, this bar offers a haven to bask all of it in the sun by day and dance bare by night. Susie at the bar giving $1 off frozen drinks. Dig in and hang out all night long.
The Grand CafĂŠ
314 Duval
BTP OS NSA U FS
If you want to check out the action on Duval and still have a great meal, the Grand is the place to be. Tracy and Eric serving some of the best martinis in town, not to mention authentic mojitos and the Grand margarita. Great gourmet sandwiches for lunch can also be found here. 1 TV
Grand Vin
BTP OS NSA NF LB
1107 Duval 296 1020
This wine shop and bar is a great place to start or end an evening out. Buy a bottle and then either head to the patio for a private table or belly up and get the local scoop. Chris making sure that there’s always happy hours here. Vin also pours some wines by the glass and a few beers as well.
Spring Shooters Inspired by our Nation’s Youth by Leigh Pujado
Each year our Spring Breakers arrive with a fresh batch of crazy-named, nasty liquor concoctions. Trendy shots like Jager Bombs and timeless favorites, such as the Long Island Ice Tea are popular among the youngins’ whose primary goal is to drink until they throw up and/or become attractive to the opposite sex, (whichever comes first.) The following cocktails and shots were compiled by my friends and I as a tribute to the Spring Breaker. Cheers! Here’s to mass consumption by the youthful, yet inexperienced drinker! Abercrombie & Bitch A bitter bomb for the snooty Spring Breaker: A shot of Campari dropped into bitters and grapefruit juice.
Sunburned Nipple
Cinnamon Schnaaps with a Bailey’s float.
Long Key Ice Tea
Key West version of the Long Island, using all the leftover promo stuff: Zima, Passoa, Don Q Rum, El Toro Tequila, Bavaria Beer, Cyclon and Bacardi Silver.
Harvey Ballbanger
Galleano and Viagra. For maximum effect, drink at one of the bars on the 800 block.
Fiji House Squeegie
Shot out of the bar’s speed mats. The Unsophisticated Gentleman Glenfiddich in a shot glass dropped (bomber style) into Red Bull. The Crying Girl Half Shot Absolut Peppar, half shot tequila, big dash of Tabasco.
Just Stiff Me
1/4 ounce Grenadine and 3/4 ounce cold water.
Scooter Shooter
1 ounce gasoline, set fire, served while bartender repeatedly blows an air horn in receipient’s face.
Safe Sex on the Beach
Vodka, Peach Schnaaps, pineapple and cranberry.....served in a condom. Premature Ejaculation Shot of Half & Half, shaken and strained..... oops! We didn’t make it long enough to put in the booze.
Key West Tropical Surprise
Drum roll please......Budweiser.
Hard Rock Café OS NSA FS
Lazy Gecko 313 Duval 293 0230
Rock & Roll music playing non-stop at this multi level patio bar and restaurant. Upstairs available as well for seating with a bar that unfortunately usually stays closed. Donnell is downstairs pouring for us though. Good grub. Go there, get the T-shirt (Hard Rock Key West) and continue the crawl. 9 TV’s
Hot Tin Roof
LM OS NSA FS OV U
0 Duval 296 7701
This is oceanfront dining at its finest. Check out the lounge here and have Nick create you a Hot Tintini, then sit back and take in the beauty of this mahogany wooden bar with featured works of local artist Jeff Beal. Live music Thursday & Friday. The Tin Roof opens at 6pm and reservations are recommended. 1 TV
Irish Kevin’s LM FS OL
211 Duval 292 1262
Once a delivery spot for Duval St. shops, is now a high energy & drinking music spot. Kevin, Kevin & Kevin have the right idea with Guinness chugging contests, tequila poured down your throat on stage, accompanied by constant live music. Daily bar grub specials. 2 TV’s (1 huge)
LM FS OL
203 Duval 292 1903
Nothing lazy about this dig. The Gecko’s trying to jumpstart the mating ritual with $2 Tuesdays 9 pm to close and ladies night on Wednesday. April B’day’s celebrated on 4/18 (cheap drinks for you and your friends). Ashling, Pauly and Allison in charge here. John spinning hip-hop Saturdays. 5 TV, 1 Fooze, 1 Pool
Magnolia’s
AL NSO FS OL
722 Duval 295 9336
Catch Darren behind the bar for an awesome happy hour from open till 5. Come and experience his sexual Saturdays, Wild Wednesday, or for the island party Thursday with 16 oz. Bone Island ice teas for $5. HH: Open – 5pm with various specials daily.
Mangoes Restaurant
700 Duval 292 4606 OS NSA FS Located at the corner of Duval and Angela, Mangoes has a very classy and relaxing patio to dine on with an outdoor bar to compliment it. TK serving up the fabulous Mangoritas. Open 11am - 1 am, 7 days a week. www.mangoeskeywest.com
Margaritaville
LM NSO OV
500 Duval 292 1435
On a slow day on Duval, this place will still be jam-packed. As always recommended, you can grab a stool at the bar. Diana & Jim taking care of you there. The chances of hearing a Buffet tune here are great to absolute. Live bands take over in the night hours.
New York Pasta Garden
FS OS NSA
1075 Duval 292 1991
Little Italy has landed in Key West and is located in the Duval Square plaza. Offering beer, wine and frozen drinks as our favorite refreshments, the posters on the walls make the biggest statement here. Indoors and outside seating available with an Internet cafĂŠ as well.
Off The Hook
918 Duval
FS OS NSA One of Duval’s newest additions, the Hook brings Latin seafood dishes to Key West. Beer and wine only with a bar coming soon. The Bar Tab will keep you informed.
Old Town Mexican Café OS NSA FS
609 Duval 296 7500
Origami
BTP OS NSA FS
1075 Duval 294 0092
Passive ethnic décor to enhances your Mexican experience. Beer and wine served with a handful of Mexican beers, but The Bar Tab opts for the pitchers of sangria and margaritas. Be sure to get a banana enchilada to wrap things up.
We like Origami. Offering a high-energy sushi bar and an abundance of outdoor seating, coupled with astounding sushi. Located in the Duval Square Plaza, beer and wine served here as well as a large supply of sake.
One Duval
1 Duval 296 4600 OS NSA FS U OV Dine ocean side at this classy restaurant for breakfast, lunch or dinner. All of which are complemented with a very extensive wine list. Patrick’s the man here. Reservations are recommended.
Papa’s Restaurant
Opera
Paradise OS NF
NSO FS U
613 Duval 295 2705
Sure, they are one of the best restaurants on Duval Street. And we assume getting an “extraordinary” award from Zagat’s is something to peek our interests. But where are the bar stools? What’s up with that?
OS NSA FS
217 Duval 293 7880
Papa’s built a side bar and shop for us (so we can still puff), with Bill and Amy taking care of us. Indoor and outdoor seating available for the restaurant serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. 1 TV
925 Duval 293 6630
If real fruit daiquiris are not your desire, how about having the sexiest bar staff on the island making them for you? Ania, Martha and Sam blending things up here.
Show this Ad from the
KEY WEST BAR TAB and save on advance reservations at SEBAGO (305) 294 5687.
Red Garter
OL
208 Duval 296 4890
Slim pickings on the dance floors of Rick’s guys? Well then head towards Durty Harry’s and duck into the Red Garter to see all of the beautiful ladies of Rick’s. Private rooms here too to get to know each other a little better. 1 Bar, 1 Stage, 1 TV (your watching TV)
Rick’s Downstairs LM OS OL
208 Duval 296 4890
Oddly enough, placed below Rick’s upstairs, this part of the Rick’s complex offers a laid back alternative for live entertainment. Karaoke starting at midnight on Tuesday and music throughout the week. Lizze keeping drinks full and peanuts flowing here. 4 TV (1 big)
Rick’ Upstairs
D OL OS
208 Duval 296 4890
The party can start and end here with things kicking off at 8 o’clock and going till 4 am. Hormone-fueled crowds raging until the wee hours, DJ’s spinning dance melodies and 2 decks hanging above Duval Street. Pickles and Spencer dispensing drinks. 15 TV’s (12 = 1 huge)
It was an extraordinary Key West
Welcome
to Duval
Street
autumn day. The sun overhead at Fogarty’s on Duval Street shone on the faces of my friends and I as we enjoyed many beers on a recent Monday afternoon. There we sat, just a couple of cynical Old Town bartenders, knocking back beers, complaining about the scooter horns, the t-shirt shops and the woes of waiting on the modern tourist. In our remote little universe, the Key West Service Industry, which stretches from the Ocean Key House to the Duval Beach Club, we were so very far removed from the cold, cruel real world. Yes, life was good, and the cold beer, as well as the company, compounded with that incredible blue Keys sky reiterated just how much we truly enjoy our days here. But it
wasn’t merely the weather that made our afternoon memorable, rather the fantastic geography! We were at the corner of Duval and Caroline, smack dab in the midst of the 27th parallel and Florida’s freak-showiest street. Welcome to Duval Street, Key West, our bar laden thoroughfare that runs from the Atlantic Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico and encompasses an array of eclectic locals, confused cruise ship passengers, cats, dogs, chickens, metallic painted Eastern European men, dirty hippie kids, dirty joke tellers, and people like you: people free of livestock, body paint and dreadlocks, just looking for a good time. Fortunately for you on your mile long Duval Street tour, there are no shortage of stimuli, for if you so
desire you may visit any number of her nearly fifty bars and restaurants. And where else in the world can you buy a $57,000 Wyland sculpture, a feather boa, an I love to Fart t-shirt, catch a drag show and flip through a large dirty greeting card rack, all on the same block? If this is your first voyage down Duval, I am obliged to envy you a little bit, in the same way that I envy children who still believe in the tooth fairy; that belief in some mystical quality that still gives you back something for something else that you’ve lost. “Lose?” you ask! Yes, you may very well lose on Duval street... your inhibitions that is, especially if you wander into the Garden of Eden or the Red Garter, or Bourbon Street!
Here on Duval Street, home of the well honed Key West hangover, we are renown for our abilities to coax one’s hair down. Start at either end; Near the Atlantic side, Randy Roberts is putting on his best Cher and Joan Rivers at La Te da, while down on the Gulf side at Bagatelle, Cecil and Nicole are killing people with their espresso martinis.
Find a good street side stool then pick your poison. And if you are lucky.... if you are really lucky, Robert Albury just might ride by on his bicycle, belting out those sweet Motown tunes. Leigh Pujado, Schooner Wharf Celebrity Bartender Key West, April 2004
Rhumba’s @ Crabby Dick’s
LM OS NF OL LB
708 Duval 296 1401
Square One Restaurant LM OS NSA FS U
1075 Duval 296 4300
Like Bar Tab? This the sidecar bar to Crabby Dick’s is appreciated Want fortheir the Bar Tab? Cuban mojito by all. to Trywrite either authentic Email usaround at employment@keywestbartab.com or stick for their real deals with Bree
(7 – 10 pm $1 Bud drafts, $2 wells and wines). A spacious area in the rear to shoot some stick or settle in on Thur & Fri for Karaoke and Sat with DJ Jimmy spinning house tunes. 4 TV’s, 1 pool
Located in the Duval Square plaza, come here to try Patrick’s “Monkey Nuts” or the provocative Sextini. Tuesday though Saturday drink specials available, too. An elegant menu of largely American style seafood with an international kick. B&L served 8:30 am – 4 pm, dinner starting at 6pm.
Shark Attack
Sunset Deck
606 Duval
NF
OS OV
1 Duval 296 4600
Great position for a pit stop along Duval Street. Fill your drinks here (to-go) or belly-up street side and find out the local scoop with Billy. Want proof of your Key West shark attack? Picture available here. Juices and sodas here too, if your into that.
Kicking things off about an hour before sunset and going on a few hours after, the name says it all. Come here to kick back a few and enjoy Key West’s “world famous sunsets”. Make sure to steal a 2-4-1 coupon from security to cash in with Zack.
Sloppy Joe’s
Teasers Downtown
LM FS OL
201 Duval 294 5717
“Still The Best Party In Town!” At the corner of Duval and Greene since 1937 this is a Key West landmark not to be missed. A busy corner bar can supply enough entertainment from people watching alone, but they also compliment it with live music all day long. Check out Marla’s interview on page 12.
BTP
D OL
218 Duval 292 0486
Watch out for Teasers. Conveniently in the 200 block of Duval, you can get a private dance with Brooke or go all out and pop a bottle of the bubbly and an invite into the upstairs champagne room. Michelle offering special at the bar too, all day long.
The Top of La Concha OS NSA U OV
430 Duval 296 2991
Located seven stories above The Crown Room, The Top offers one of, if not the best views in Key West. Nancy is on top as well keeping your glasses filled. Best known for their sunset business, La Concha offers just one other place to escape in Key West. www.laconchakeywest.com
Tree Bar
208 Duval
BTP OS NF OL LB Rick’s side of the road bar may save you some nights from having to penetrate the Rick’s complex. Do a walk-by to fill your glass or take a seat and get the local scoop from Barbara and Tommy.
Virgilio’s BTP
D LM OS OL U
524 Duval 296 8118
The backyard of La Trattoria becomes a hip martini bar at night. Complimented with a great covered patio, this is a classy dive bar for fly boys to meet fly girls. Live jazz and Latin music to bring it all home. Rachelle & James dolling out the booze here.
The (bull &) Whistle
224 Duval 96 4565 BTP OS OL This comfortable saloon style bar is conveniently nestled between The Bull and The Garden of Eden. Surrounded by a balcony that makes people watchnig rival drinking as a past time. Get 2-4-1 well drinks from Cindy, Bobby & Val. 2 Pool, 2 Pinball, 1 foose, 2 darts
Willie T’s
515 Duval FSL LM OS OL 294 7674 Menu includes everything from burgers and salads to lobster and filet dinners. Have an extra buck? Leave your mark at the bar. They also serve late night food till 2 AM, with restaurant seating available as well. HH: 2 free domestic drafts with lunch, till 4 pm. Draft x 10, 2 Bars, 3 TV (1 big), 1 pool
World’s Smallest Bar @ Ochi 124 Duval NF OL 294 8507 The world’s smallest bar lives up to it name. Blink and you might miss this hole in the wall (literally). This bar, also serving for Ochi Café, stays open well after Ochi closes. Various bartenders playing host here. 1 sign, 2 rules, 3 stools.
Honorable Mentions,
Schooner Wharf
Right (or left) Off Duval Green Parrot
BTP LB LM NF OL
BTP LB LM OS OL FS NF OV
601 Whitehead 294 6133
Probably the biggest anchor in Key West, the Parrot offers by far the best happy hour in town (4 to 7 pm) and the drinks pretty much stay cheap all night long. All this and some of the best live acts that are in or that come into town. Randy & Pat here making slinging drinks look as easy as drinking them. Make sure to see. 4 TV’s, 2 pool, 1 darts
Hogs Breath BTP LB LM OS OL FS
400 Front 292 2032
Catering to a large tourist crowd and somehow remains a favorite for locals. Here’s how. Great bar staff and shucking bar. Great live music. Great grub. 3 bars, 6 TV’s
Louie’s Backyard BTP OS OL FS OV NSA U
700 Waddell 294 1061
Come for a spectacular dinner, stay and hang out ocean side at the After Deck bar with Alan. Sit back and sip on some of Louie’s passion or their Island Cosmo. Food Served 11:30 am till 2:30 pm and 6 till 10 pm.
202 William 292 9520
Spacious marine sides bar where the din of local chatter and live music usually fills the air till early morning. Leigh and Tommy easily keeping up with the locals needs here (no easy task). Make sure to check out Frank Everhart the only Bar Magician in the Keys 6 years running. 2TV’s (1 big), 1 upper deck
Wax
BTP D NF OL LB
422 Appelrouth 296 6667
The party takes off here late night with house music piercing the early morning light. The front door says it all “ open to 4 am”. Vinny, Gigsy, Damien and the lovely Kathleen hosting the party. Your chances of seeing Bar Tab staff here assured on any given night. Randy the bouncer, for instence, being on at the door.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO THE ROCK!”
BY VINNY K
“Key West is a giant circus! They should put a tent over the whole place and play clown music!” - Crazy Lenny That statement pretty much sums it up, for me anyway. I know what your thinking, Crazy Lenny, what kind of name is that. Well wether you’re now living in our little paradise or just strolling down Duval with a stupid look in your eyes or just off a cruise ship, you’ll eventually have a favorite Key West bartender. And odds are they’re going to have a strange name. You have T-Bone from the Conch Farm, SoJo at Rick’s, June Bug at The Lazy Gecko, Geddes also know as Get Ass at Irish
Kevin’s and don’t forget Big Daddy at the Brick House! Crazy Lenny is at Fogarty’s, Chachi at Fat Tuesday’s, Wild Bill at Jack Flat’s, Gigsy at Wax and Raggs at Schooner Wharf. I’ve known a lot of these people for almost ten years and I don’t know their real names! But I
do watch America’s Most Wanted and I haven’t seen them pop up… yet! You might find as you walk down world famous Duval Street, it’s almost like you’re in an old episode of the Flintstones, but instead of couch, tv, window that’s a back scene for you, it’s bar, t-shirt shop, bar. That actually works out well, because after you drink enough at the bar the next thing you want to do is go and buy a t-shirt with a dog on it and of course a pair of tight “I love to fart” under wear. That would be a perfect ensemble for a mental patient or a drunken tourist stumbling down Duval. To end your stroll just sit in the back of one of our petty cabs and hum Margaritaville, while a young foreign man in tight spandex rides you back to your hotel, while speaking in some incoherent language. A few helpful hints: -We know you know you are supposed to tip. So wether you are from Germany, France or Ohio playing dumb is only going to get you bad service and if I’m behind the bar, a lot worse!
-There is only one sunset a day here just like anywhere else! Whatever time the sun went down today, that’s what time it will go down tomorrow, give or take a few minutes! -There aren’t a set amount of breathes in a snorkel. You put the snorkel on and it works until you take it off. I have to admit that years ago when I would help my buddy on his boat a young woman asked me how many breathes are in a snorkel. I asked her if she wanted a full day snorkel or a half day snorkel. She said full and I charged her double, and that scam worked on seventy percent of the people the rest of the day. So basically what I’m saying is don’t be stupid. The really nice blue water way out is the same water at your feet. A conch is a shell fish and Mahi-mahi is a type of dolphin we eat not flipper. Unless your kids are being a pain in the ass than tell them you’re eating flipper, that’ll shut them up! VINNY K CAN BE HEARD WEEKDAY AFTERNOONS ON THE KEY’S NEW ROCK ALTERNATIVE ISLAND 107.1 FM.
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SHOTS
from the editors...
We would like to thank all our family, friends and co-workers who supported us, and more importantly, put up with us though the making of the first issue of the Key West BarTab. Feel free to contact us with any suggestions you may have for the Bar Tab. Any comments or questions. Drop us an email at info@keywestbartab.com. Website coming soon as well at www.keywestbartab.com
Ask Randy... THE BOUNCER
Our readers seek the advice of our ever-caring doorman.
Dear Randy, I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. What should I do? -Nervous in the Keys Dear Nervous Hey no shit sherlock, you finally figured out what everybody else has known since the first week. Send her ass to the curb, she’s more or less done it to you already. Then call your mommy up north and cry, cause in case you haven’t figured it out, the reason we all run when you show up to the bar, is because we’re all outside laughing at your dumb ass.
Thanks Randy for helping out another one of our devoted readers... of our first isuue? Ask Randy for advise at... Randythebouncer@keywestbartab.com
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LINE USED HOW THEY LOOKED AT THE BAR HOW THEY LOOKED THE NEXT MORNING You know how sometimes you are at a bar, you meet someone, and you don’t have anywhere to write their number down? Well we at the BAR TAB know the frustration and anguish this can cause. And so, to spare you any further humiliation of decoding your crumpled napkin the day after, please feel free to use the space provided here to keep track of the number of your latest conquest, prospect, hook-up or late-night snack. Bartenders, you can thank us later. Sorry, pens not included.
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