A Nepalese Story by Kore Kamino
In the monsoon month of August 2001, Maya and Anna’s parents made their first return visit to Kathmandu in about 15 years. They had lived there for several years in the 80s with their two young daughters, then had moved to Japan, and later to England to enable the girls to complete their educations. Although Nepal was always beckoning, they had somehow never made it back. Then finally, with the two girls grown up, the opportunities to return began to present themselves for Scott and Naoko. Most of the first trip back was taken up by finding their many old friends and becoming re-acquainted. One person they had hoped to look up had been a child at the time, and they had no idea of her real identity. She had been a friend of Maya and Anna but they did not know her name or where she lived because at the time they had only known her as “Kumari”, the Living Goddess. Maya and Anna had become fascinated by this girl a little younger than they were who lived such a different life from their own, or in fact from most Nepali children. Since they were living only about five minutes away from the Living Goddess’s house and temple, they began making daily visits as a reward for concentrating hard on their home schooling. The little girl in red, for that was the colour she always wore, noticed that they came every day, and one day asked them if they would like to play ball. They were not allowed inside, and she was not allowed out, but they could go to the bottom of the stairs and she could come to the top. And so began an unusual friendship... 1
* morning pujas
or maroon school uniforms, others in rags. RASHMILA
There were two in particular that I was looking for. My view was limited since I was not supposed to
“After my morning pujas
1
and my lessons, I did not
stick my head right out. I could see only three temples
have much to do until my playmates (for I was not
and the white Ghadi Bhaitak
the only child in the house) came home from school.
where the King and his family waited for me on the
Of course I did not go to school myself but had lessons
first day of the biggest festival of the year, Indra Jatra.
inside my temple.
But it was really the people who interested me.
While I waited for my playmates to come back. I used to enjoy looking out the front windows into
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part of the Palace,
Then I heard one of the women of the house call, “Dyo Meiju, some foreign visitors.”
Durbar Square 1a and the people passing by. There
It was not an order, for no one orders a goddess
were rickshaw drivers hoping to get a foreign tourist,
around, but I knew very well that because they would
ragged, bare-legged porters smoking a cigarette after
leave an offering on a small pillar in the courtyard,
carrying a heavy load, another staggering under the
I had a duty to show myself at the window in the
weight of a refrigerator strapped to his forehead. A
courtyard, just as I understood that I had a duty not to
Newari 2 farmer might be carrying vegetables in two
smile when I was there. Sometimes it could be a bother,
baskets suspended from a carrying pole across his
if I was playing with my dolls or dancing with the
shoulders. Country women in colourful red saris sat
other children, but other times I didn’t mind.
on the steep steps of the Narayan Temple 3 gossiping. Children my own age would run around, some in blue 2
I put on my serious Kumari face and stepped to the window. 3
Sometimes the foreigners applauded, some of them did
they are playing ball and eating sweets. All I learned
Namaste, and some just stood and stared. Where were
were their names: Maya and Laxmi 6, Nepali names.
they from, I wondered? Why were the women dressed so strangely? Was their hair that way naturally? Most
When I was carried out of my temple for some of
of them, men and women, had cameras around their
my smaller festivals, I would be in the midst of a
necks, but I knew that if they pointed them at me I
crowd with people pressing all around me. This was
should step back. I wished I could just shout down and
especially true at Seto Macchendranath’s 7 bath in the
ask their Nepali guide what country they were from.
middle of winter when I sat right on the edge of the
What is that country of theirs like? Would I ever visit it?
crowd to observe the image being bathed, or some
And what did they make of me?
of the occasions where I went briefly to the nearby
A little hesitantly, I looked down to one corner of
Teleju Temple 8. Maya and Laxmi got to know my two
the courtyard, and there they were, two foreign girls
“brothers”, Gautam and Mahendra, and asked them if
a little older than me, dressed like Nepali girls in
they could come up close to me during these festivals.
grubby salwar khameez 5. For a long time they had
We had never been closer than the top and bottom of
been coming every day, sitting and looking up at me
the stairs. They agreed, as long as the girls didn’t try to
and smiling when I appeared for the tourists. There
make me laugh or start playing around. After all, I had
were fewer tourists back in those days, and often the
my duties, and one of them was to keep a straight face
courtyard would be empty. After the tourists left, I
whenever I was in public. Actually, I never had any
called down to the two girls that I had a ball, and why
trouble with that. There is a special necklace
didn’t we play? They seemed surprised, but looked
of a naga (snake) that symbolises
really happy. Of course they could not actually come
the power of Kumari that I wore
in since they were not Nepali, but my guardians,
only at festival times and when
whom I thought of as my father and brothers, decided
I had it on, I could feel its
they could come to the bottom of the steps while I
power and never felt
stood at the top and we could throw the ball back and
like smiling.
forth. Sometimes they threw me sweets, and at others I would throw down some of my offerings. We could even talk since they spoke some Nepali. Just who they were or where they were from I never learned. Kids don’t talk about things like that when 4
* Naga, the snake that symbolises the power of Kumari
Anyway, it all went well. Maya and Laxmi stood right
I felt silly. Needless to say, I didn’t find them during my
beside me and we watched together as the image
brief stay in New York.
had milk and water poured over him and everyone cheered. They behaved like perfect little ladies, and
In fact it would be a long time till I met either of them
none of us smiled. Soon they were walking beside my
again. By that time I was a university student. Their
palanquin, or beside one of my “brothers” carrying me
parents, who were again regular visitors to Kathmandu,
at every small festival. Sometimes when they came to
had looked me up a few years before. They were in
Kumari ghar 9 they would play with the other children
Kathmandu and Maya, now married and living in
in the courtyard. One of them was my sister Surmila,
Tokyo, came to visit. That night there was a feast in the
but I don’t think they ever knew that she was my sister.
courtyard of Kumari Ghar. It was nothing to do with
One day they told her that soon they were going away.
Maya’s visit, but she and her parents were invited, and
And then they were no longer there. I did not know
it was there that we were reunited. For the first time
where they went or if I would ever see them again.
we could sit next to one another and talk, this time in English, though it was my worst subject in school. She
When I had been living at home for some time and
came to my house the next day, and over the next few
had worked my way up to class ten, a Danish film
days we had a chance to hang out in Kathmandu and
about me won the Best Documentary prize at the
do girl things.
HBO Children’s Film Festival, and I was invited to go to New York, all expenses paid, as a special guest. In
I know that many people, especially from foreign
my ignorance I asked my older sisters, “Will I be able to
countries, find my childhood strange, and even feel
meet Maya and Laxmi there?” In spite of my two years
sorry for me because I was not free to go outside
back in school, my ideas of the world at large were still
whenever I wanted. But I never felt deprived in any
rather vague.
way. While I had to give up some things, I also had
“Do you even know what country they are
opportunities few other Nepali children of 7 or 8 had.”
from?” asked Pramila, my oldest sister who could be irritatingly practical. ANNA
“Well, no...” “You could just ask around on the streets. Maybe somebody there will have seen them somewhere in
“My family first visited Nepal when I was six and my
the world.”
sister, Maya, was eight. It was a six month trial run to 6
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see how we would adjust to living in Asia while my father researched the area for a book he was working on. We had no preconceptions, and accepted the change as exciting and new, enjoying the freedom of being home-schooled for two hours a day and getting to know the local children and their homemade toys for the rest of the time. Most of the time Maya and I wore matching clothes which my mother, Naoko, had designed and made for us and we became roving fixtures in between our neighbourhood and Durbar Square 10 for the time we were in the valley. Our daily pilgrimage to Durbar square was to catch a glimpse of the Kumari, who was to us, the most mysterious and beautiful thing that we had ever seen. The first time we saw her must have been the same way as thousands of other tourists, putting a few rupees on the lotus pedestal in the courtyard of Kumari Ghar
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and waiting for someone to shout out
‘Dyo mejhu!’ to call the goddess to the window. We learned later that her name was Anita, and she was older than us, probably around ten or twelve at the time and as unapproachable and haughty as a true goddess should be. Maya and I quickly discovered that we were allowed a free run outside of school times as long as we didn’t eat the ice lollies on the street (made from untreated
* ‘Dyo mejhu! to call
water) or wander too far off. We soon discovered that
the goddess to the window.
the ice lollies were delicious, and that if we went to Kumari Ghar every day and just lurked around in 8
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the shadows, we would get a free look at the Kumari every time a new group of tourists came by and left an
back to Nepal. This time I was almost eight. When we landed in Kathmandu for our second stay, I felt much more like I had come home than
offering on the pedestal. After that we would go home, and dress up our dolls,
when we had returned to Hawaii. One of our first stops
Sita and Taji as the Kumari in one of her three different
was Kumari Ghar to see Anita again and I was full
outfits, and parade them around as though it were
of excitement. We put our offering down, and I was
festival time. Sita (Maya’s doll) was a leggy Indian
surprised and disappointed to see another face come
Barbie doll with articulating limbs and beautiful hair
to the window. She had the eye make up and the
which I had been coveting for years and Taji (my doll)
red dress of the Kumari, but she was a stranger to us
was a small stubby, stiff limbed plastic Mexican doll
and looked far too tiny and cute to be the mysterious
whose hair had been ripped off as soon as she came
goddess that we had become used to. The new Kumari
out of the box. We made full ceremonial outfits for both
was just five years old and was relatively new to the
of the dolls, gluing in tiny beads where the jewels on
role. Although she tried to look serious there was still
her golden headdress were, meticulously stitching the
a hint of a smile around her mouth when she came to
tiny clothes and applying the long eye makeup and
the window to look down at us. We missed our familiar
third eye of festival time.
Kumari and could not find the enthusiasm to dress up Taji and Sita that night.
The first six months went by quickly and soon it was
My parents rented an apartment on the edge of
time to go home to Hawaii. I remember going back
Durbar Square looking over the Taleju temple on
to school and not being able to describe our life in
Makhan Thol
Nepal to anyone who hadn’t been there. I tried to tell
Kathmandu routine again. Since we were just a 5
stories of the women doing morning puja’s, the holy
minute walk away from Kumari Ghar, Maya and I
cows roaming the streets stealing the vegetables from
would hold hands and wander there anyway, just for
market stalls and about how special Kumari was to
something to do. We would stand under the covered
Maya and I, but I was met with blank looks from my
walkway as before and wait for our free glimpses of
class mates and teachers. Eventually I settled back
her when tourist came to call her out. After a very short
into school life and keeping my stories to myself. I
time, this new Kumari began to appeal to us more and
missed Nepal though, and hoped that we could go
more.
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and it was easy to fall into our usual
back, so I was overjoyed when my parents told us we would be leaving Hawaii permanently and moving
We saw her at festival time, where her Kumari Ghar
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family had to bend over her tiny 5 year old body to lead her through the crowds to her chariot. I remember being impressed that her demeanor was as natural and serious as as Anita’s had been. She didn’t smile once, or speak to anyone that was familiar to her, she just sat still and dignified looking very much like the goddess that she was. Gautam and Mahendra were two brothers from the family who lived and cared for her who supported her through the streets at festival time, kept the crowds away, carried her onto her chariot and held the weight of her headdress if it became too heavy for her. They recognized us too, and knew our names, smiling to us when they saw us in the crowd. There was also a group of children who we saw every day who either lived with the Kumari or came to play with her. I was very jealous of these children since they were allowed to run up the stairs and call her by name while we, as non-Hindus, had to stay down in the courtyard. What the inside of her small palace looked like, I can only imagine. Reading Rashmila and my
* Maya and I would
dad’s book about her time as Kumari has opened up
hold hands and wander
an entirely new image of her life inside Kumari Ghar.
there anyway
Soon Rashmila began to come to the window for tourists and look around to see if we were there, waiting around in the shade. Eye contact was exciting for us, she saw so many foreign faces in a day and was such an important figure in Nepal that I was amazed that she might be starting to recognize us. We waved 12
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* Eye contact was exciting for us
and smiled at her shyly, wanting to be friends with
that she would be making a nighttime appearance
the little girl but never forgetting that she was above
at the Teleju temple, right across the road from us.
all, a goddess, who had endured many tests and
We rushed to get up and there she was, in her small
ceremonies to prove her status. We were content with
palanquin and virtually no crowd to jostle through. It
the waving and smiling for many months. For a more
was a very special and memorable night for us.
first hand experience, our dresses and costumes for Sita
My favourite festival was the washing of the Seto
and Taji became more elaborate and bead encrusted
Macchendranath. I loved everything about Seto
and our enactments of festival time became more time
Macchendranath, his temple, his diminutive size, his
consuming and detailed.
appealing face and the layers and layers of fancy clothing that he was dressed in. Once a year Kumari
When real festivals arrived, we would anticipate it for
would be carried through the streets to his courtyard
days and days and hound my dad to promise that he
and seated to watch Seto Macchendranath being de-
would be in the best position at all times to take the
robed and repainted. Since the Kumari was seated
best photographs. We knew of most of the nine days
off her palanquin we were able to push and pull our
when Kumari was allowed out but there were also
way through the crowd until we were standing right
smaller ceremonies which weren’t known. We were
next to her. It was one of the best few hours of my eight
woken up one night by our parents who had heard
year old life. I could have touched her shoulder if I had
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wanted to, although of course I didn’t. Dad, following
I know much more about her now I am reluctant to
strict orders, was in a perfect position to photograph
strike up an email or ‘facebook friendship’ with her
this moment for us.
since I still hold the very unique ability to be able to say that I was once friends with a goddess.”
One day, as we waited around for some tourist to arrive so we could get our free showing, Kumari came to the window and beckoned us over to the side doorway.
MAYA
I almost panicked, this was the doorway that the Hindus came and went through to pay their respects to
“Actually I don’t remember the first time I met her. But
Kumari, even the King went through this way. We went
I remember my parents taking us to her palace and
inside and Rashmila and several other children were
telling us, “This is a girl about your age and she is a
standing on the landing at the top of the stairs and
living goddess.” And while I can’t pin point that time
told us to stay downstairs but that we could talk. This
I remember being really intrigued and hooked from
was the first time that we had spoken to her, and I don’t
that moment. She was a girl from about our age and
remember what we talked about, but our Nepali was
she was a goddess.
good enough by this time that we could have a decent conversation. Over the next few months, until we left
It was just so mysterious.
Nepal for good, Maya and I would always make sure we had some sort of treat for her, some sweets from the
But I have to say we also loved everything to do with
shop next door or a ball that we could throw up and
Nepal: the clothes, the festivals, the puja... except for the
down the stairs. It didn’t happen everytime that we
food! Our parents made us eat dhal bat 13 every day,
were invited into the doorway, but enough so that we
we hated it! But everything else we loved.
all made a lasting impression on the other. There is a book called ‘The Cult of the Kumari’. It is an Getting to know the little girl in red made our stay in
old book written in the 30s or 40s. It was Christmas and
Nepal very special and unforgettable. We finally found
the book was out of print but my parents had somehow
out her real name around twenty years later when my
managed to get hold of an early edition, photocopied
parents found her again and became friends with her
it and then bound it. Anna and I devoured it. Which is
and her family.
how it all started.
I haven’t seen her since I was a child, although 16
There were so many traditions surrounding her, 17
which for us created a complete atmosphere of
* Her feet are not supposed
mystery. But what was the most interesting for us was
to touch the ground
that we couldn’t enter her home. I would go to sleep at night and dream that we were allowed to visit her there and in my imagination I would see what it was like. I must have been quite obsessed if I was dreaming about it! The clothes that she exhibited at festivals were beautiful beyond compare. Back then we didn’t have the whole Disney princess thing but I guess it was kind of equivalent for us maybe? And it was much less commercial obviously! We had to make our own Kumari clothes, we couldn’t just go buy them in the shop. At home we played Kumari and took turns being her while the other one was the attendant. The attendant was holding her hand while walking. Occasionally we also tried to lift each other up - because her feet are not supposed to touch the ground - but that was difficult because Anna and I were about the same size and we tried to be demure and all. I remember that we used to try not to smile because that is what she is supposed to be like. Of course, whoever played the role 18
of the attendant was making jokes to antagonize the one who was Kumari into smiles if not laughter. So we had to try immensely hard to look serious! We made the crown and did the entire make-up as well and I remember quite clearly wanting face-paint so we could make the third eye and it could come off, but we couldn’t get face-paint in Kathmandu. So when we tried to make it with real paint it wouldn’t come off and the charcoal eye make-up was so bad that when we had put it on we couldn’t get it off and we had to rub our skin so hard it ended up being very raw! We were home-schooled so we didn’t have many friends. It was just the two of us a lot of the time so Kumari was our complete obsession for years. Well, at least until I was around ten - because you only have that magical time for about a few years and then you grow up, right? But 19
when we returned to Hawaii we really wanted to go
or disrupt anything. Plus we used to visit everyday
back to see Kumari in Nepal.
anyway so they knew us.
Back in Hawaii, telling our friends about our time in
My best moment with Rashmila is the same moment
Nepal and Kumari was really hard. It wasn’t only
that is my sister’s favorite: the Seto Macchendranath
that they wouldn’t understand what it was that we
festival. There is a picture in the book where we are
knew about her but the fact that the whole affair was
right next to her and the two brothers have backed
frustrating. They just didn’t get it. They didn’t know
us by saying, “you can stay here”. We felt so special
where Nepal was for a start and from there on it was just
and it was so nice. I am really trying to remember
two different worlds. Also, since Hawaii is a tiny island
now whether I really thought she was a goddess
where people think they’re in paradise it was way
or if I thought she was a girl and I can’t remember if
beyond the comprehension of most folks. But about a
I thought she was a goddess and that’s why I didn’t
year and a half afterwards we returned to Kathmandu.
want to touch her because she was too holy. But I do recall we couldn’t touch her and I do remember feeling
The day we really became friends with her was when
really privileged we could stand there, and the same
they just told us to come in. Gautam and Mahendra,
when we were told we could go in the doorway. I felt so
her brothers, had a word with us and said, “Look you
privileged I didn’t want anything to ruin that.
can come to the bottom of the stairs if you promise
We loved the festivals. Now my father tells me that
you don’t run up the stairs or try anything”. We were
he was really nervous before each one, because he felt
really good kids so we said “Yes, yes, yes”! So we were
he had to deliver! Anna and I were like “This time the
allowed into the house and then she came to the top of
pictures have to be better than the ones from last time!”
the staircase and we started throwing things at each
And it was quite chaotic because it’s always huge
other like balls, candies and stuffed animals too. But we
crowds at these festivals. And you can be crushed.
never showed her our Kumari dolls, possibly because
Now they have designated areas but back then you
we were a bit embarrassed. I’m not sure why. Maybe
had to go really early to get a good (and safe!) spot.
because it showed how obsessed we were about her! It happened quite a few times and we talked in Nepali
It’s a really important part of my childhood.
but I can’t remember what we said. Her brothers and guardian family were really nice. I think they realized
I remember every time we went to a tourist shop
that we were not going to do anything naughty
we’d go through every guidebook to see if there was
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a picture of Kumari that we hadn’t seen before. We’d look at all the postcards and if we found one really old postcard that was sold out everywhere else we would buy it and that was for our Kumari picture collection! We also cut out every article we could find about her. (Like stalkers now that I think about it!) But even now if I see a guide book on Nepal I go through the pictures really quick to see what the latest Kumari pictures look like - the Kathmandu one. Because she is the Royal Kumari, the most mysterious, the forbidden fruit, the other Kumaris are not the same. Leaving Nepal was a really traumatic experience and it took me years to get over it. So I actually don’t remember the last time I saw her. I guess we did say our goodbyes but I can’t remember. All I remember is being very traumatized by it all. I loved it so much there. Years later my parents found her again. When I went to Nepal eight years ago they took me to meet her. I was in a real state of shock because I hadn’t been to Nepal in 20 years at least and I think it was my first night. They were having some feast in the Kumari courtyard and they invited us and again I felt really privileged, even if though I was in my 30s this time I remember being in real awe, of being back in Nepal which I loved. * She is the Royal
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Kumari, the most
When I found out that my father was writing the book
mysterious, the
about Rashmila I really encouraged it. I think that it
forbidden fruit
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* some of it was downright laughable.
was really Rashmila the driving force behind the book
at the number of mistakes both foreign and Nepali
though. I didn’t realize how much we had made an
journalists made when writing articles about Kumari,
impression on her until I read it. I had no idea. Until
mistakes so serious as to make some people consider
then it had seemed completely one-sided to me. I
the Kumari tradition a form of child abuse. Because of
didn’t realize that she remembered us. So when I read
this, she hoped to write her own story down someday.
the book it was quite emotional. I cried. I read it in a Young as they had been back in the ’80s, our girls had
couple of hours. “
begun to read everything they could find about the Kumari tradition. Yet even at their age, they could see that much of what was written about Kumari was A WORD FROM SCOTT
wrong, and some of it was downright laughable. At
on the monsoon 2001 and finding Rashmila again
the time they had urged me to “write a book”. It was not a task I felt up to at the time, speaking no Newari
“We were often guests of Rashmila and her family,
and not being sure if I should go poking around in the
and developed a lively appreciation for her mother’s
secrets of Newari society.
cooking. Rashmila seemed to us to be a normal and
It was on our next visit, during the following
self-assured young woman. Gradually, from her and
monsoon, that I mentioned to Rashmila’s family that
her sisters, we heard the story of how she had gone
I had assisted a Japanese traveller and former spy
from pampered goddess to well-adjusted mortal. We
in writing his autobiography 11 Over the following
also learned from Rashmila herself that she was upset
winter, we agreed that I would help her to tell her
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NOTES
own story in English. We began in 2003 and finished up the book in 2005. Since then I have been able to watch from the sidelines as Rashmila completed her Bachelor’s degree, the first former Kumari to have done so, worked several volunteer jobs for experience, and finally settled into a career position as a software engineer. Speaking
good
English,
with
a
Bachelor
of
Information Technology degree and on the verge of completing her Masters, riding around Kathmandu on a motor scooter, this self-confident young woman points the way for future “Living Goddesses” who all too often in the past have found their lives more or less over when they lost their divinity. But Rashmila has a different attitude. “I feel fortunate to have had had two lives,” she says looking back.”
Story adapted from the book “From Goddess to Mortal, the True Life story of a former Royal Kumari” by Rashmila Shakya as told to Scott Berry
1
Offerings, prayers
2 Durbar Square is the plaza opposite the old royal palace of Kathmandu 3 The Newaris are the main traditional inhabitants of the Kathmandu Valley. They have their own distinct culture and language. 4 The Narayan Temple is just outside Kumari’s house and temple
Ghadi Bhaitak is a neo-classical addition to the old Hanuman Dhoka Palace in Kathmandu directly opposite Kumari Ghar
5
Salwar khameez is the traditionnal two piece tunique and wide trousers worn by women in Nepal and India
6
Maya and Anna Mei (the latter’s name had proved unpronounceable to most of their Nepali friends and she was inevitably nicknamed “Laxmi”)
7
8 Seto Macchendranath is an important Kathmandu deity in Jan Baha in the oldest part of town. He is worshipped as an aspect of Avalokitaswara by Buddists and as an aspect of Shiva by Hindus
The Teleju Temple is the tallest traditional building in Kathmandu. The goddess is an aspect of Durga and was formally the patron deity of the royal family. Kumari is believed to be her earthly incarnation
9
10
Kumari ghar is Kumari’s house and temple
11 Makhan Thol is a street in Kathmandu on the opposite side of the Hanuman Dhoka Palace from Kumari Ghar 12 Japanese Agent in Tibet by Hisao Kimura as told to Scott Berry, London, Serindia Publications, 1990.
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GRATITUDE Our most sincere thanks for their fantastic help, guidance and encouragement go to:
Nepal is one of the few places on earth still alive with myths and traditions that have stayed unchanged for centuries. And thus mysterious Kathmandu delights and enchants the traveller. The Girl in Red is the true story of the unusual friendship between three girls: Maya and Anna, two little sisters who moved to Katmandu from abroad in the 1980s, and Rashmila, a Nepalese living goddess. Twenty years later they recall this unforgettable moment of their childhood teaching us about cross cultural discoveries and tolerance - like only kids can do.
Anna Takagi-Berry Asad Chishti Maya Berry Rashmila Sakya Renuka Gurung Sanus House Team Patan Scott Berry And of course the amazing people of Kathmandu and the taxi driver who brought back our laptop bag forgotten on the backseat of his car.
We found their story in Kathmandu when stumbling upon Rashmila and Scott Berry’s book (Scott is the father of Maya and Anna). We met all four of them, collected their testimonies and with their agreement are presenting you their wonderful story here.
Namaste
ŠKore Kamino 2013 28
www.korekamino.com