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21022017 11:09
Mamas & Papas March 2017 Cover Model: Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp Photographer: Gareth Jacobs Styled by: Tumi M and Donatella Pia Makeup: Taryn Kemp Dressed by: Colleen Eitzen at The Space and Mimco
On the cover 22 Have a healthy and happy plus-size pregnancy 42 Seven rules to dining out with your toddler 52 Meet Elana AfrikaBredenkamp, momtrepreneur 58 Being present in the moment as a parent
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61 The art of being a single mother
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M&P|contents
84
36 In every issue 06 From the Editor’s Pen 08 Contributors’ Page 09 Your Letters 65 Subscriptions 88 Stockists List
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Features
Your regulars
14 Family planning and fertility education
11 Preggy diaries 26 Preggy fashion
18 Taming the pregnant mind
33 Baby names
30 Breathe your baby out
38 Gogo’s advice
34 B reastfeeding moments of goodness
39 News & tips 40 Hall of Fame
48 H ealthy party food that tastes good too!
45 Kids’ voices
50 Hein Wagner’s blinding love
46 Kids’ fashion
71 Reviews 72 Exercise 74 Décor: How to create a meditation space 76 Recipes: Delicious sandwiches 79 GEMS baby showers 82 Motoring 84 Travel: Quick international getaways
Columns
Section guidelines
10 Fertility: Dr Antonio Rodrigues
10 Pre-pregnancy
17 Dr Serote Says: Dr Peggy Serote
11 Pregnancy
28 Your gynae
30 Labour & Birth
36 Dr Dad: Dr Ashraf Ahmed
33 Babies 0-1 year 42 Toddlers 2–3 years
68 DeConstruct to Construct: Fumani Shilubana
45 Preschoolers 4–7 years
69 Cancer column: Zoleka Mandela
50 Special Needs 52 Working Moms & Dads
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70 Family law: Adv. Veerash Srikison 82 Motoring: Melissa Jane Cook
COVER PHOTOGRAPHY: GARETH JACOBS | IMAGES: DEPOSITPHOTOS, ISTOCK, RENNLIST, SHUTTERSTOCK, PIXABAY, SASKO.
64 Parents with pizzazz
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Parenting... Your Way!
CEO of Kwenta Media & Editor of Mamas & Papas Managing Editor Features Writers
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Columnists & Contributors
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Tumi Mdluli Tracy Maher Cathrine Versfeld, Claire Maher, Hlulani Masingi, Kati Dijane, Loren Stow, Melissa Jane Cook, Nabila Mayet-Cassim, Peta Daniel, Thina Mthembu Tumi Mdluli Palesa Sethlapelo, Lauren Matthews Nuraan Motlekar Lelethu Tobi Prince Ngwenya Lekeke Mahlo
Nuraan Motlekar Akhona Gushman Kholiwe Nkambule, Wezi Njovu Mpho Phaswana Netsianda
Kelly Moyo Palesa Sethlapelo Gabriel Mashishi, Kamohelo Mokoena, Yusuf Msinyi Adv. Veerash Srikison, Grace Masuku, Dr Alessia Gioliano, Dr Antonio Rodrigues, Dr Ashraf Ahmed, Dr Birgit Katharina Bothner, Dr Bongani Khumalo, Dr Sumayya Ebrahim, Lethepu Matshaba, Major-General Jackie Modise, Maria Sterrenberg, Mohammed Bhabha Adv. Veerash Srikison, Dr Antonio Rodrigues, Dr Ashraf Ahmed, Dr Khensani Serote, Fumani N. Shilubana, Simcha Van Bel-Du Plooy, Melissa Jane Cook, Zoleka Mandela Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. Kwenta House, 19 Weaver Street, Fourways, 2191 Tel: 011 467 5859 or 0861 873 689, Fax: 086 416 1529 Mamas & Papas: P.O. Box 4437, Dainfern, 2055 www.mamasnpapasmag.com / www.kwentamedia.com subs@mamasnpapasmag.com advertising@mamasnpapasmag.com editorial@mamasnpapasmag.com info@mamasnpapasmag.com / info@kwentamedia.com
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I
am a first-time mom who used to have a problem with my friends and colleagues that took their babies to school before they turned one year – and some as young as six months. I believed it was torture for these little souls, as they are exposed to all sorts of diseases and germs, and the harsh winter cold when they have to wake up early to be at school by 7am. Some friends didn’t want a stay-at-home nanny to look after their kids; some said that their kids had already started talking and there was not much stimulation at home. They didn’t want them to only watch cartoons, eat and sleep the whole day. I honestly didn’t understand all of this until recently, when my 10-month-old baba started walking at just nine months while visiting her three-year-old cousin! I realised the importance of having other children around her and my thinking has changed from only taking her to school at the age of three to a little sooner – I am not quite sure when, though! I’ve got the most amazing nanny who takes very good care of my little baba. She speaks almost all the languages that I would like my daughter to speak and she plays with and stimulates her, as is evident from my daughter’s
development. She knows how to say bye-bye and she will wave at you and understand when you say: “Come and kiss Mommy”. This is when it hit me that it might be the right time to introduce my little one to the outside world of schooling. I feel that she could probably start speaking soon if she socialises with other children who will communicate with her every day. But then again, will she be able to grasp the different languages that all the children at school might use to communicate with her? Should I rather keep her at home until she can actually speak and only then take her to school? I think I have been perfecting this parenting journey (according to me!), but I’m stuck when it comes to making this crucial decision that will have a lasting impact on my daughter’s life. Please write to me and share you experience, thoughts and advice on when you think I should send my baby to school.
IMAGES: GARETH JACOBS, WALLPAPERCAVE.COM
M&P|from the editor�s pen
WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO TAKE YOUR CHILD TO SCHOOL?
Tumi M FIND US ON:
We want to hear from you! Write to me at tumi@kwentamedia.com or post a comment on Facebook: Mamas & Papas Magazine.
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M&P|columnists & contributors
FERTILITY COLUMN
FAMILY LAW
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Dr Antonio Rodrigues MBBCH(Wits) FCOG(SA) MBA(Henley) Infertility specialist, founder developer and director of Medfem Fertility Clinic, along with fellow directors, Dr Johan van Schouwenburg and Dr Johan van Rensburg. Co-author of the book Faster, Better, Sicker and co-developer of StaminoGro (Georen Pharmaceuticals), the doctor’s special medical interests lie in lifestyle management to improve fertility. Dr Rodrigues is married to clinical psychologist Mandy Rodrigues and together they have six children, ranging from 28 to 6 years in age.
Contact Dr Dad on 011 875 1845 or 011 875 1840.
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Zoleka Mandela
Dr Serote
Although the unexpected and tragic loss of two of her children surpassed her battle with addiction, her early breast cancer diagnosis catapulted Zoleka from a journey of pain and struggle to one of hope, faith and inspiration. Zoleka is an author, a motivational speaker and founder of the Zoleka Mandela Foundation. Visit www. zolekamandelafoundation.org.
Dr Peggy Khensani Serote is a qualified medical doctor working and living in Johannesburg, South Africa, with 22 years in practice, both state and private. She is a board member at iARi (for the incubation and innovation of African renaissance and indigenous knowledge systems), and Chair at Bookelabotho (at Selby Rehabilitation Hospital/Sticks Morewa Hostipal) whichoffers qualified AromaTouch Technique therapy and certified pure and therapeutic grade essential oils. She is a real mom of two boys, dealing with real health and everyday issues like all moms and, as an essential oils expert, she chooses to use natural ways. She is also a coach and mentor for small business, a wife and a businesswoman.
Contact Veerash on 011 046 2644.
MOTORING
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Melissa Jane Cook
Dr Ahmed is a Johannesburg-based paediatrician and father of 5 children, Iman (17), Mehreen (10), and nine-yearold triplets Jazib, Taheem and Alman – conceived naturally! His wife Aneesa is also a doctor.
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Advocate Veerash Srikison is an internationally accredited mediator at Fair Practice in Johannesburg. For more information on mediation and how you can benefit from it, visit www. fairpractice.co.za.
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Dr Ashraf Ahmed
DR SEROTE SAYS
Advocate Veerash Srikison
Contact Dr Rodrigues on 011 463 2244.
DR DAD (PAEDIATRICIAN)
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CANCER COLUMN
Bewitched by the magic of France, Melissa Jane Cook is an intrepid explorer. A lover of traversing the globe, she eagerly absorbs different cultures and laps up the magnificent oceanic experiences. Wooed by words and writers alike, her penchant for facials, chocolate, owls and bugs is surpassed only by her fascination with the stage aglow in lights or bookshelves that heave with stories, where characters invite her along on their marvellous journeys. @jwanderlustmjc
@zolekamandela zolekamandelafoundation
DECONSTRUCT TO CONSTRUCT (FATHERHOOD)
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ED. PSYCHOLOGIST
Fumani N. Shilubana
Claire Maher
Father, actor, producer, social entrepreneur, founder of Father Figure ZA and DeCon2Con Talks “If the passion and talent that God gave me won’t make a better difference in people’s lives, then I don’t want to do anything.”
Claire works fulltime at a school in Johannesburg and maintains a private practice. Claire is interested in attachment, barriers to learning and fair assessment practices in South Africa. In her free time, Claire enjoys drinking tea, cycling, photography, cooking and spending time with her family and friends.
@FumaniShilubana @FatherFigureSA FumaniNShilubana FatherFigureSA
Contact Claire on 071 150 1863 or clairemaher.psych@gmail.com. @Educ_Psych
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M&P|letters
Find us on:
We want to hear from you Share your thoughts, opinions, suggestions and touching family stories. Log on to our website www.mamasnpapasmag. com or drop us a mail at letters@mamasnpapasmag.com. We reserve the right to edit all letters for the purposes of publishing.
A FAMILY OF FOUR What a great and peaceful journey this was for my second pregnancy. I struggled to cope with my first baby in the early months and was scared to have a second baby, but my husband assured me that no matter what he would always be by my side. People kept telling me that children are not the same, so I finally thought it through and made the decision in 2016 to try and conceive. My husband was so excited and we fell pregnant within three months. We were worried when there were a few minor problems in the first trimester, but our baby is now growing well and we are even attending antenatal classes. The only problems I now have are the usual preggy cravings and having to go to the bathroom more often – and I really mean much more often! I communicate with our “Lil’ Nugget” whenever he is active and cannot wait to become a family of four.
Judith Thibela
442 likes @mamasnpapasmag “Every household is different from family dynamics to religion to cultural beliefs, which play a role in how we raise our kids. Ultimately, we all want what’s best for them.” Zarinah Hassan…Connect with @ zarithebosslady and @diamondplatnumz in the February 2017 issue of @mamasnpapasmag #businesswoman #love #mamasnpapasmag #thebosslady @nosiminaj luv dat pic @danizelle Love them
180 likes @wandile_molebatsi #TBT look at that belly @ mamasnpapasmag fun times…
1 like @FrankieBeans01 Lovely to meet the team at Mamas and Papas Magazine yesterday! Great things to come in 2017! @Mamas_n_Papas
13 likes Brand-New-Mama Doula Had the wonderful opportunity of addressing over 200 pregnant mamas on “How to survive Birth, Babies and Beyond” at the GEMS Baby Shower on Saturday! GEMS Medical Aid and Mamas & Papas magazine, thank you for the wonderful opportunity and hospitality. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Moms and Babes Upper Highway
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M&P|fertility
VULATION
Induction
Dr Antonio Rodrigues explains the reasons for inducing ovulation, as well as what to expect
O
vulation induction is a treatment protocol designed to create the growth of at least one egg that leads ovulation in a cycle. Ovarian stimulation for IVF and ICSI aims to produce many eggs for collection (in women who are usually ovulating) and just a single egg in women who are not ovulating normally. The treatment is most often used in women with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), a condition characterised by multiple ovarian cysts, irregular or absent periods, and high levels of male (androgen) hormones. In a natural menstrual cycle, a woman typically ovulates a single egg each month. Very rarely, a woman’s ovaries may spontaneously release two eggs in any given cycle, which can lead to non-identical twins. In a hyper-stimulated ovulation cycle, used in IVF programmes, the aim is to achieve multi-follicle growth and therefore produce multiple eggs. The treatment is a course of fertility hormones that stimulate the ovaries to produce a mature follicle, and then timed intercourse or Artificial Insemination (AI) / Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) to coincide with ovulation. However, because women with PCOS often react very sensitively to fertility drugs, there is a real risk of multiple follicle production and multiple pregnancies. Regular monitoring with ultrasound and hormone measurements is therefore necessary to ensure only one or two follicles are developing. Ovulation induction may be performed using orally ingested medications (Femara or Clomiphene Citrate) or injectable medications. Patients who may benefit from ovulation induction are couples with unexplained infertility, PCOS, endometriosis and ovarian dysfunction. To be a candidate for ovulation induction there must be a normal uterine cavity, at least one normal Fallopian tube, and the male partner must have a normal sperm count.
What is injectable ovulation induction therapy for? Ovulation problems that have not responded to simpler medications (such as clomiphene tablets). Unexplained infertility to help increase egg quality. Improving hostile cervical mucous. How do injectable fertility drugs work? During a natural menstrual cycle, the pituitary gland releases luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) from the pituitary gland. These hormones stimulate the growth of a follicle – the fluid space in the ovary where the egg grows. Although several follicles grow each month, in a natural cycle only one becomes mature enough to ovulate its egg. In ovulation induction, women who do not ovulate at all take gonadotropins (forms of FSH and/or LH) by injection to stimulate the growth of one or more eggs. During the treatment cycle, a fertility specialist will carefully monitor the egg development with ultrasound. What is to be expected during treatment? Treatment usually starts on day three or four of the menstrual cycle and lasts approximately eight to 10 days. There will be two to four clinic appointments for vaginal ultrasound examinations to monitor the ovaries’ response and allow adjustment of medication dosages. How successful is ovulation induction? Typically, 25 to 35 percent of healthy, fertile couples become pregnant each month they try. In contrast, the pregnancy rate among couples with infertility is usually between two and 10 percent per month. Ovulation induction usually produces pregnancy rates of 25 to 30 percent per cycle, depending on a woman’s age, diagnosis, and duration of infertility.
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1st Trimester
I
remember the date clearly! It was the 20th of July 2016 and I will not forget it as it is imprinted into my head and my heart. I started feeling weak and nauseas in the early hours of the morning. I had a headache from hell and felt as if my insides were being turned upside down. I was rushed to the hospital later that evening unsure of what was happening. The thought of me being pregnant didn’t even cross my mind even though I had a miscarriage earlier that year.
absolutely grateful and excited of becoming a mom for the first time.
M&P|preggy diaries
Shaharazah Cassim
The thought of a little mini me growing inside me is one of joy that I have longed for!
WORDS AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY SHAHARAZAH CASSIM
After being prepped and put on a drip for dehydration, they notified me that I was pregnant. I was told to schedule an appointment with my OB/GYN to find out exactly how far along I was. The next day we met with my doctor, he confirmed that I was over four weeks pregnant. I was overwhelmed with joy at hearing the news, however my body hasn’t been overjoyed these past few weeks. I have counted the days till I hit the 12 weeks. I am now 18 weeks pregnant and still feel horribly sick with nausea, vomiting all day and headaches that leave me drained and weak. Everyone keeps saying that it will pass, it is afterall just the first trimester. The third month, the end of the first three months! For me to feel like a normal person again! To enjoy my pregnancy and find that glow that many others seem to gloat about. I might seem gloomy and grey about being pregnant but through all the hormone changes and feeling like I could stay under the covers the whole day…I am
ger to “I am earegnancy p enjoy myd that glow and fin ny other that ma seem to women bout.” gloat a
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Nokwanda Ngema
T
2nd Trimester
his has to be my favourite time of the pregnancy journey, ‘the honeymoon period’. I am done with feeling nauseas and I can now feel when my little princess kicks...yes! It’s a girl. I’m glad that I now feel energetic and like my old self again. I can use this time to start planning for my baby’s arrival.
Some days can be dark though, especially when I experience backaches because of the little extra weight that I’ve gained. It’s starting to put pressure on my back but with my gynae’s advice, I have recently started to sleep on my side with a pillow tucked between my legs. It really does help on easing the pressure. The sad part is that I now have to stop wearing my gorgeous collection of highheeled shoes and substitute them for boring low-heeled and flat comfortable shoes. Despite a few uncomfortable issues, I am fully enjoying the benefits of the second trimester. I enjoy food and also taking little walks. I am determined now more than ever to organise everything for my princess before she arrives and before the third trimester begins so that I can focus on resting, exercising and just generally trying to be well.
The 20-week scan was the one I waited for with great anticipation. I found that my baby was developing well and she is healthy. The scan also blessed me with a glimpse of my princess, it made me reflect on the creation of God who created her in my womb and has entrusted me with a life so precious. I will forever treasure such a moment. It was an overwhelming and wonderful experience to see my Angel on the scan, giving a detailed view of the baby in a womb. It made me appreciate how God has formed all of us. Time really flies during this time of the pregnancy journey. The second trimester is passing through quickly with my growing bump! During this time, I find it most important to remain patient in times of difficulty, to stay positive and to look forward to meeting my princess. To all expectant mums, congratulations! Whenever you feel at your worst, just know that not everyday of pregnancy is easy but every day brings you closer to meeting your greatest bundle of joy. Remember, with a positive mind comes a positive and happy pregnancy.
WORDS AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY NOKWANDA NGEMA
I went through so many tests during this period and I must say that it’s a scary phase; from Down’s Syndrome screenings to diagnostic tests. As much as I tried to convince myself that all will be well, the little devil in my ear left shadows of doubt and I worried about what I’ll do if I were to find any bad news about the baby. Thankfully, there was nothing to worry about. My princess was growing wonderfully.
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A
2nd Trimester
WORDS AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY KATLEGO MONYAPHENG
s I enter my second trimester, things are starting to become easy. The morning sickness along with the fatigue have finally faded, thank goodness, it was a struggle I tell you! On some days I actually forget that I’m carrying a little person in me, but not because the actual thought of being pregnant escapes, it’s only because I now feel like my old self. The me before I fell pregnant. Do you get what I mean?
M&P|preggy diaries
Katlego Monyapheng
When we reached the 18th week, we went for my second scan. My partner and I decided that we didn’t want to know the sex of the little one so we waited for our special surprise. The best thing happened that evening, I felt my little angel moving inside of me and the joy in my heart knowing that a special life was growing inside of me was immeasurable. Of course with time, the body changes became more visible. The weight gain happened and rapidly, which was kind of frustrating but knowing that it came with the life that was also growing inside me was comforting. I was also faced with skin pigmentation, headaches, there was also some nose bleeding, a favourite for some was the breast growth and the stretch marks all became a part of me. My favourite change though will have to be when my baby bump becomes more visible. Now we’ll just sit back and see what the third trimester has in store for us.
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M&P|pre-pregnancy
FAMILY PLANNING FERTILITY EDUCATION
&
If a woman can fall pregnant once (or twice) with ease, and carry the pregnancy to term, then she’s fertile and will be able to fall pregnant again without any issues... right? Not so, says Fulvia Stoltz who explores changing the nature of the conversation.
I
f you ask any woman who’s had to deal with the reality of secondary infertility, she’ll tell you how deeply this notion hurts her. The truth is, the inability to fall pregnant or carry a pregnancy to live birth even after a previous healthy pregnancy and live birth is more common than you might think – and it’s a condition that may become the catalyst for marriage breakdown, family trauma and depression, not to mention a source of financial strain too. So let’s get the facts straight.
IT DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE There does not appear to be one population group that’s more susceptible than any other. And, according to Dr Merwyn Jacobson, one of the Medical Directors of Vitalab (a specialist fertility clinic in Johannesburg) the global rate of incidence is between 15 and 16 percent of the adult population. There may be a slightly higher incidence among the lower socioeconomic groups and this is quite likely the result of their lifestyle (they’re less educated about reproductive health, may have a poor diet that affects their fertility and so on).
IT’S ALL IN YOUR AGE The factors that cause secondary infertility can be split into three groups: 1. Egg factors 2. Sperm factors 3. Mechanical factors having to do with the way the structures in and around the womb and the tubes. For example, endometriosis could affect the healthy function of the uterus. By far, the most significant factor in secondary fertility is maternal age (egg factors). Jacobson says that a woman who had her first baby easily at age 30 (when her chances of conceiving may fall
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M&P|pre-pregnancy
at 20 percent per month) may find that she cannot fall pregnant again at 35. In those five years, her fertility potential has decreased to about 15 percent per month. As a woman ages, her ovarian function declines, while the number and function of her eggs decreases and the risk of miscarriage increases. The function of the uterus is also affected; fibroids, for example, are more common with age. These can reduce the chances of pregnancy and increase the risk of miscarriage. And of course, let’s not forget that fertility is a couple’s problem; paternal age is also a factor. Sperm quality declines with age, too. Dr Jacobson is clear that couples who plan to delay having their children until later – especially after their mid-thirties – should really consider the impact that maternal age will have on their fertility. They should chat to fertility experts as early as possible to discuss the family planning methods that would preserve fertility. Doctors list a number of other factors that could potentially affect fertility in any of these three groups: Lifestyle: For both men and women, excess weight is a significant risk. It can trigger insulin resistance and diabetes, which affect fertility and reproductive function. This makes a strong case for a lifestyle that includes regular exercise and a healthy diet (one that’s free of recreational drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. isease and general health: Certain D diseases, as well as the medications or procedures to treat them, can impact fertility. motional health: Jacobson says there E may be a link between emotional or psychological wellbeing and fertility. “It appears that stressful lifestyle events may have lingering effects. It is not clear how exactly stress impacts fertility. It is not known whether high levels of stress can prevent pregnancy or affect a woman’s chance of conceiving. We do know that reducing stress provides a better quality of life during times of intense personal challenge.”
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Family planning needs to centre around fertility education, so that women (and men) are more aware of the impact of their decisions and also the options they have available to them. WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE DOCTOR Your doctor will start by taking your medical history (and try to pinpoint potential red flags) and doing a physical examination which should include a vaginal ultrasound examination. He will then work through the three main factor groups, trying to check the egg function, sperm function and the mechanical function in the man and woman. Hormone tests are part of the medical investigation and diagnosis. Once your clinician has a better picture of the potential problem, he or she can suggest the appropriate course of action. This may involve medication to stimulate ovulation or it could involve in-vitro fertilisation (IVF). “The solution is tailored to the individual. There isn’t a one-size fits all approach,” says Jacobson. The good news is that the technology at our disposal improves quickly, and from one year to the next, the advances in freezing technology or hormone therapy are amazing. But couples should know that some of the medical interventions can be costly (and medical aids don’t always cover these elective procedures and treatments).
The more basic interventions (think pills or injections) could be in the region of R5 000 to R6 000, while IVF could cost in excess of R60 000 a cycle. There is financial assistance available to couples who need it, thanks to a few niche finance houses that provide a straightforward finance plan. WHAT IF IT JUST DOESN'T WORK? Modern medicine has allowed doctors to significantly improve the outcome for couples facing secondary infertility but, in the cases where the infertility cannot be resolved, couples are encouraged to consider alternatives, such as egg donation, surrogacy or adoption. Holistic therapies (think homeopathy, Reiki or reflexology) may be helpful. Jacobson finds that these therapies often go a long way to making patients feel better, and this encourages a healthier bodymind connection, which is great for fertility. However, there is no evidence-based information to show how they work, if indeed they do. So where does all this leave us? It forces us to re-examine the way we think about family planning. It used to be a simple discussion around how many children we wanted to have and when we wanted to get started making babies. But today, given the fact that so many women want to pursue careers in ways that simply don’t allow for time off in the maternity ward, the discussion has to change. Family planning needs to centre around fertility education, so that women (and men) are more aware of the impact of their decisions and also the options they have available to them. And family planning can then become the proactive plan it was always intended to be.
IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK | PIXABAY
M&P|pre-pregnancy
WHEN SHOULD YOU CALL YOUR DOCTOR? Ideally, you should monitor your reproductive health on an ongoing basis. Don’t presume that, just because you’ve had one or more babies, you’re always going to be able to fall pregnant easily and carry the pregnancy to term. If you have a history of disease, surgery or any medical condition that affects your reproductive system (or, indeed, your pelvic area), then this is especially important. Irregular periods or excessively painful periods; injuries to the testes or prostate in a man, or infections anywhere in and around the pelvis, and so on, could play a role. But, says Jacobson, as a general rule, you should call your doctor if: Y ou’re under the age of 35, have no history of any medical conditions that may affect your reproductive system or general pelvic area, and have been trying to fall pregnant by means of unprotected, well-timed sexual intercourse for a year or more. You’re over the age of 35, have no history of any medical conditions that may affect your reproductive system or general pelvic area, and have been trying to fall pregnant by means of unprotected, well-timed sexual intercourse for six months.
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M&P|dr serote says Dr Peggy Khensani Serote reminds new mothers to take care of themselves so that they are better equipped to care for their babies
P
IMAGES: PIXABAY
regnancy is the most amazing time of a woman’s life, but also the most trying as hormones wreak havoc on a woman’s mind and body. The body changes are endless: weight gain, heartburn, hemorrhoids, varicose veins, limited sleeping sides options, and a bladder that cannot hold 200 millilitres of urine. The mind is plagued with thoughts of her baby’s 10 fingers and toes to being a good-enough mother, and having access to Dr Google does little to help ease her anxiety. By the time they go into labour, women are often emotionally exhausted and dealing with a totally helpless individual that is dependant on her for all their needs can further deplete her already empty emotional bank. Many mothers are not quite prepared for the effects of this massive invasion, and are loathe to admit to anyone that their emotional bank is empty due to exhaustion, sleep deprivation or other stressors. Every new mother will experience a few days of emotional outbursts (or baby blues) as her mind and body adapt to having a baby, but this can escalate in a more severe post partum depression if she is not careful. Not so long ago in the indigenous cultures, a woman with a newborn baby was never left to herself. Her mother, her motherin-law, or a female relative would be assigned or volunteer to be with her to help her restore her emotional bank. A little help with nappy changes, bathing or even the household chores would allow the fragile mother to take a much-needed nap and recharge. TAKEAWAY: When mother or mother-in-law offer to come to help, say yes! The nanny can help, but she is not related to you or the new baby. Your mother or mother-in-law has vested interests!
Men can experience baby blues too, so talk about how you feel without shame and encourage the same from the baby’s father. Take care of yourself: mind, body and soul.
Eat a healthy diet rich with B-vitamins, Omega 3s and magnesium for good nutritional support. HEALING ALTERNATIVES FOR NEW MOTHERS Take a 20-minute bath with magnesium salts and add two drops of Certified Pure and Therapeutic Grade Lavender essential oil. The combination of the salts and the lavender oil has calming and relaxing properties that promote peaceful sleep and ease feelings of tension. A grounding essential oil blend with frankincense, BlueTansy, Blue Chamomile and Spruce plus Rosewood added to the feet in the morning and evening will help promote nervous system calmness. AromaTouch Technique massage, which is a clinical approach to essential oils application, can benefit mothers immensely. The AromaTouch Technique incorporates simple hand techniques with the power of essential oils to create a whole body wellness experience. It seeks to address four systemic constants that are present in daily life and which may serve as limiting factors in health: stress, immunity, the inflammatory response and autonomic imbalance. Diffuse Certified Pure and Therapeutic Grade Wild Orange essential oil in the house using a diffuser. Wild Orange and most of the citrus essential oils have an uplifting effect on the mind and body.
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M&P|pregnancy
TAMING THE PREGNANT
Mother of five, Cathrine Versfeld throws the idea of mindfulness on its head in this exploration of taming the thinking mind during pregnancy
T
here is a lot of information about the way your body changes during pregnancy. The fatigue and nausea in your first trimester; the joy of feeling your baby, and starting to show in your second… and then, of course, the sometimes uncomfortable, and frustrating, bloating and ‘size’ issue in the last three months. But the effects of pregnancy on the mind and psyche are not explored often enough and, for that reason, many pregnant women may find these mental gear-shifts worrying, and hard to handle.
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The books tell us that most pregnancy ‘mind issues’ are directly related to fast and overwhelming hormonal changes. But it is more than just hormones! Over the course of your pregnancy, your blood supply will almost double, and this affects the brain. Many pregnant woman report strange dreams, new and unprecedented thought patterns, and views on life. The psychological impact of becoming a mother, and the concerns that go with carrying a child can wreak havoc on even the strongest world-view. You may have heard of the term ‘porridge brain’ – a rather unflattering description for the strange and distracted mental process many pregnant women endure. Along with the stresses of work, preparations, and financial considerations, there is also the question of identity. At the heart of all the turmoil and confusion, many pregnant women may feel that they are losing themselves. Although it is not popular to admit, growing a baby can sometimes feel like you’re giving yourself completely to this tiny person that you haven’t even met
yet. It’s pretty traumatic, but a total taboo to talk about in modern parenting circles. If you admit that you’re down, or have any misgivings about your pregnancy, the peanut gallery often swoops in to inform you that you are blessed, and should be grateful. This conflict automatically causes some women to feel guilty, as if there may be something wrong with them for not simply loving every single moment of this gift of life. Sometimes it even feels as if you can’t trust your own thoughts, as a cocktail of hormones have you swinging from dopamine-infused bliss to downright, tearful misery. But how do you stem the tide of such change? In some cases, it can be as simple as making a decision. Decide in advance to weather these ups-and-downs as honestly and gracefully as possible. But it’s also important to allow yourself to feel these emotions, and to remember that they are not permanent.
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WHAT IS MINDFUL PREGNANCY? Mindfulness entered the realms of parenting in the early 1980s, although it has grown in popularity in the last decade. In essence, the term ‘mindfulness’ stems from an ancient Buddhist principle. It is the ability to clear the mind of stresses of the past, or fears of the future, and simply live ‘in the now’, or present moment. One of the main components of mindfulness is also a state of acceptance. It is about developing the ability to clear the mind of problems or situations that cannot be changed, or fixed, and rather focus on accepting these circumstances, and training the mind to re-programme negative thoughts into positive emotions. Mindful pregnancy seeks to combat the mental rollercoaster during pregnancy, and aid mothers-to-be with a sense of calm acceptance. HOW DOES IT WORK? Traditionally, mindfulness is achieved through regular, formal meditation, but proponents believe that the crux can be achieved through a few simple techniques. Initially, it involves paying close attention to your breathing, particularly if you are experiencing strong or intense emotions. The next step is to become more aware of your feelings and emotions when they occur. At this stage, it is important to pay close attention to your physical senses, and the smells, sounds and sights around you. Once you have identified a particular feeling, the real trick is to recognise it for what it is. A passing
feeling is just that, fleeting, and it does not define who you are, or where you are going (This step is believed to aid in avoiding negative thought patterns). Additionally, mindfulness implies getting in tune with your body, and allowing yourself to pay close attention to each physical experience, from hunger and breathing to the water on your skin in the bath. Mindfulness, according to author Jon Kabat-Zinn is simply a process of “Living your life as if every moment really matters, and continuing to live like that moment, after moment, after moment…” HOW DOES THIS HELP YOU AND YOUR UNBORN BABY? Any reduction in stress for the mother, automatically helps the foetus. More relaxed sleep, heart and breathing patterns directly affect babies in the womb, and create a calmer environment for them to grow in. There are even some studies that have suggested a correlation between positive thinking and a stronger immune system, leading to better development before birth.
The overall benefits of mindful pregnancy still need rigorous clinical testing, but more and more women are reporting positive results. One of the most popular applications is during labour, using mindfulness as a tool for pain management. Although scepticism remains about how effective mindfulness really is, it’s a step in the right direction. In an age where women may feel even less willing to share
their mental and emotional problems, pregnancy is a good time to master the mind. However, it’s also important to remember that every woman is different, and every pregnancy is different. There are no one-size-fitsall solutions. Your main objective during pregnancy is to stay healthy, and there is nothing unusual about feeling mentally or emotionally drained. If all you can do is grit your teeth, put your head down and aim for your due date, that is perfectly normal too. Finding a sympathetic friend or therapist, and allowing yourself to vent can also go a long way to maintaining sanity over this time.
IMAGESS: SHUTTERSTOCK IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK
M&P|pregnancy
Joining preggy chat-groups online, or finding local friends to talk to can also go a long way to reminding you that you are normal, and certainly not alone in the boat. A very popular recent trend is the concept of ‘Mindful Pregnancy’.
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21022017 11:12
M&P|pregnancy Nabila Mayet-Cassim says you can carry a baby, be healthy and look great if you have a few extra curves here and there
N
o doubt, during pregnany the expectant mom will gain a few extra kilograms. But what if she was a bit more curvy to begin with? Does this mean she is not allowed to relish in her achievement and enjoy every last curve, bump and moment of pregnancy glow? Not in the least! When we talk about plus-size moms, what exactly do we mean? Dr Nazmeera
Gani explains, “Plus size refers to a person that has a Body Mass Index (BMI) of more than 26.” In simple terms this measurement is your weight in relation to your height and it is often used by medical practitioners to determine whether you are underweight, a healthy weight or obese. EATING FOR TWO YOU “Being supported by a medical team (gynaecologist, birthing doula, etc.) is vital for a woman to understand that her
body has not only managed to achieve the colossal task of falling pregnant and the continuous miracle growing inside of her, but also that the extra weight is a small sacrifice for the new growing life,” adds Elania Kolokotronis. Gani adds that it is a myth that pregnant women are eating for two and advises eating small nutritious meals often. Include low-GI foods, protein, fibre, calciumrich food and fruits that are low in fat but increase satiety. Water is an essential
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SYMPTOMATIC RELIEF Losing weight during pregnancy, whilst not usually recommended, tends to happen in the first trimester with the onset of nausea, vomiting and fatigue. Instead of setting out to lose weight purposefully rather implement a sound balanced eating regime instead of robbing yourself and your baby of much needed vitamins, minerals and vital sustenance. Extra weight during pregnancy, which all expectant moms experience, may result in certain challenges such as back ache, cramping and muscle tension, which usually subside once baby is born. Whilst plus-size moms may experience elevated weight gain, bloatedness, postpartum depression or postpartum haemorrhage,
ingredient to a healthy meal plan. She urges pregnant women to consume less unhealthy fried and sugary foods as well as junk food. “Plus size to me is a state of mind,” adds Kolokotronis, a clinical nutritionist. “It’s important to not take reality/celebrity shows too seriously.” Those unrealistic ideals end up making women feel bad about their bodies when they should be focusing on their body’s amazing ability to nurture the life growing inside of them. While it is important to follow a sound nutritional programme for your specific body type, it should be a realistic, fun and healthy eating plan that will benefit both you and your baby.
it is important to remember that these symptoms are possible for any pregnant mom regardless of her BMI. Pregnant moms can ease these symptoms through various avenues. “Lower back ache can be reduced by strengthening the back muscles through light Pilates, yoga or specialised exercise,” advises Raihana Chavoos, pregnancy specialist (Doula) at the Art of Confinement. If you were not exercising vigorously before pregnancy, don’t start during. However, exercise in general increases energy levels through endorphin release in your body which helps to maintain a healthy and happy pregnancy. Remember to check with your caregiver before beginning any physical activity. Oedema, or swelling during pregnancy “can easily be rectified by drinking two to three litres of water. Cucumber and watermelon are also excellent in reducing swelling,” explains Chavoos. Keep your feet elevated, as this will ease the swelling.
M&P|pregnancy
“Be kinder to yourself, surround yourself with loving, supportive and positive people that will help you enjoy the pregnancy,” Kolokotronis advises. There is absolutely no reason why a plus-size mom should not enjoy her pregnancy and be proud of herself through the experience.
There is absolutely no reason why a plus-size mom should not enjoy her pregnancy and be proud of herself through the experience. 23
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M&P|pregnancy LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD Expecting a baby is one of life’s biggest blessings. Focus on that while enjoying some much-needed pamper time. “Have your hair done, wear beautiful clothes, and allow yourself to look good because if you look good you will feel good,” says Chavoos. By doing this and keeping positive you will enjoy the experience. Make an effort to socialise with other moms / moms-tobe as it will help you to see that you are not alone. Many women struggle with weight issues due to societal pressures. We are told that we need to look a certain way when what we should actually focus
on following a healthy lifestyle and being comfortable in your own skin. Looking good during pregnancy is an essential part of feeling good. “The key to looking good,” explains Simone Zapf from Bump Maternity bespoke clothing, “is in the colour, cut and style.” Choose what makes you feel most comfortable yet fits well. Zapf’s tips for preggy moms include: Single solid colours with no print are easier to dress up or down depending on the occasion. Focus on a few colours that work best such as black, white, cerise pink, lime green and turquoise. Choose the colour that best reflects your style and personality and suits your skin tone. Opt for lycra which, when added to natural cotton, provides room for stretching and can also be worn post pregnancy (this is also a good fabric for easy breastfeeding). The natural fibre of cotton in this cotton lycra allows the body to breathe and regulates temperature better than synthetic fibres. Shoulder fit is of utmost importance
and not many women realise this. If it’s too small or too big it will not look right. Ponchos are a lovely addition to a plus-size preggy mom’s wardrobe, as it allows for easy wear and gives enough room for the inevitable growth. A wrap top is another good option, as it allows for a good fit that doesn’t look too tight or too frumpy. “It’s important that you feel comfortable and beautiful in your pregnancy clothing,” concludes Zapf. We are bombarded daily by images of celebrities with the perceived ‘perfect look’ and punish ourselves for not looking the same way. The truth is those portrayals are not always realistic and should not be the standard we set for ourselves. Yes, pregnancy might bring with it stretch marks, weight gain and even C-section scars, but these should serve as a reminder of the monumental sacrifices a mom makes for her child from the moment of conception.
IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK | PIXABAY
The extra weight that is carried during pregnancy can also cause pelvic girdle pain which may cause problems sitting, lying down or turning in bed. Pop in for a visit with your chiropractor who can assist with easing this pain. “In addition, some other common ailments due to weight gain in pregnancy are varicose veins, high blood pressure and preeclampsia,” Gani adds. Sufficient rest is imperative to help ease these symptoms.
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The product most recommended by gynaecologists for pregnancy stretch marks. Ipsos, 2016
“I’d got stretch marks a while ago when I was a bit overweight. So this time round with my pregnancy I just thought I don’t want any more. At my antenatal classes some of the other women seemed to think that stretch marks are unavoidable, but I’d seen some Bio-Oil TV ads with testimonials that were very convincing, and it’s a product that’s been around for a while, so I thought why not try it. I bought loads and used it everywhere and not only did I not get any more stretch marks, but the ones from before have really faded.” Violet with Liyanda
Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the start of the second trimester. For comprehensive product information, and details of clinical trials, please visit bio-oil.com. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers at the recommended selling price of R89.99 (60ml). Individual results will vary.
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21022017 11:13
M&P|preggy fashion
fortable m o c d n a at’s classy h t k o o l a tunic for e t i h w e t i r favou Style your K DAY LOO WHITE REVENGE OFF-THE-SHOULDER TUNIC, R599, ZANDO.
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GOLD-PLATED SAPPHIRE BLUE STUDS, R199, ACCESSORIZE.
GOLD WIDE SPIRAL RING, R79.99, H&M.
GOLD-FACETED STONE PENDANT, R199, ACCESSORIZE.
BLUE MATERNITY JEGGINGS, R179, MRP. GOLD BLACKCHERRY SHOPPER, R449, ZANDO.
NAVY CHARLIZE BLUE SOLE TASSEL LOAFERS, R1 199.95, PRETTY BALLERINAS.
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MAROON MATERNITY DRESS, R139.99, MRP.
M&P|preggy fashion
onямБdence c h t i w s e v our cur Show off y LOOK EVENING
BLACK TEARDROP EARRINGS, R369, ACCESSORIZE. BLACK CHOKER, R149, ACCESSORIZE.
WORDS: PALESA SETHLAPLEO | IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS
BLACK AND GOLD BRACELET, R249, ACCESSORIZE.
NUDE CROSS BODY GRAB BAG, R2 699.95, TED BAKER.
BURGUNDY MONICA ANKLE-STRAP HEEL, R599, ZANDO.
CAPE NAVY FLORAL DETAIL CAPE, R5 499.95, TED BAKER.
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M&P|your gynae
Cysts They may sound scary, but most ovarian cysts cause little or no discomfort and go away on their own
A
n ovarian cyst is nothing more sinister than a sac filled with fluid that develops on your ovary. Women have two ovaries that alternate to release one egg per menstrual cycle. They also release oestrogen and progesterone, the female hormones involved in reproduction.
Q. My gynae diagnosed me with an ovarian cyst during my last routine checkup but reassured me that I have nothing to worry about. Please tell me more about these cysts? Ovarian cysts are harmless and quite common and will, in most cases, disappear on their own in women under the age of 40 who experience regular menstrual periods. An egg grows inside a follicle inside your ovary, and this sac breaks open to release the egg. If the follicle doesn’t
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Q. How are ovarian cysts diagnosed? If your doctor suspects a cyst during a pelvic exam (they detect a swollen ovary), they will perform an ultrasound which will determine the location, size and shape of the cyst, as well as if it contains fluid or is a solid mass.
Q. I am on birth control. Despite the fact that these prevent ovulation, I still developed an ovarian cyst. Why did this happen? It might be that you did ovulate and you didn’t know it, as some women do still ovulate even while on oral contraceptives. However, your doctor will need to make sure that your ovarian mass isn’t caused by a rupture or even cancer.
Q. My mother suffered from painful symptoms when she had ovarian cysts. How can I prevent this from happening to me? Some symptoms may appear as the cysts grow including painful intercourse, bloatedness, nausea and vomiting, and painful bowel movements. There is no way to prevent these cysts from developing, but regular visits to the gynae will help to detect them before they become a problem.
Q. Can ovarian cysts be cancerous? The majority of ovarian cysts are benign (harmless) and therefore will not grow into ovarian cancer. Any cyst where cancer might be suspected will need to be surgically removed and tested to confirm malignancy. The chance of a cyst being cancerous increases in women over the age of 40.
Q. How will ovarian cysts affect my fertility?
If your doctor has determined that intervention is necessary, this treatment could be in the form of prescribing oral contraceptives to stop ovulation, a laparoscopy near your belly button to remove the cyst, or a laparotomy to remove larger cysts. A laparotomy is a surgical incision in your abdomen.
Q. What are the risks of ovarian cysts during pregnancy? If an ovarian cyst is suspected, an ultrasound will be performed to determine the location, size and type. Ovarian cysts might develop in your second stage of pregnancy, but if they are smaller than five centimetres in size they will most likely disappear before or after childbirth without any intervention. Cysts over five centimetres are often removed. A burst or twisted cyst can lead to miscarriage or premature labour, so problematic cysts will usually be removed via laparoscopy in the second trimester. While you may only need a pap smear every three years, it is still important to schedule your annual gynae visit. It is during these physical exams that any cyst or other irregularity can be detected and treated early, if necessary.
IMAGE: PIXABAY
Cysts that are not related to endometriosis or polycystic ovarian syndrome will not affect your fertility or impede your efforts to fall pregnant, unless they have grown too large.
Q. What treatment can I expect for ovarian cysts?
M&P|your gynae
break open, it will form a fluid-filled cyst on your ovary, known as a functional cyst. The odds are that most women will get at least one ovarian cyst during their lifetime, and there are usually no symptoms.
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M&P|labour & birth
YOUR Breathe BABY OUT Something as simple as breathing could make such a big difference to how you experience labour and birth. Loren Stow takes a look at the art of breathing your baby into the world. reathing is one of the most effective coping strategies during birth because it is so simple; any woman can do it at any time and in any place. However, it is also true that breathing is most effective in conjunction with other tools that help women to move through the stages of labour with more ease. Are there certain breathing techniques? Is there a right or a wrong way to breathe during labour? Do different stages of labour require different breathing techniques? FIND WHAT FEELS GOOD The first rule of breathing during labour is that there is no right or wrong way. There is only the way that makes you feel good. Some women prefer deep breathing right into their abdomen, while other women prefer light, brisk breathing, filling only their chests. Some breathe in through their nose and out through their mouth, and visa versa. The goal is to find a pattern that calms and relaxes you, and avoid the feeling of being out of breath or lightheaded. Most importantly, breathing should be completely conscious and not just automatic.
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Conscious and controlled breathing can help to manage the pain of labour and prevent the need for intervention.
M&P|labour & birth
Deep breathing When the contraction arrives exhale all the breath in your body, imagining all the tension in your body being released as you breathe out. Focus your attention as you slowly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth; let all the air out and pause until you feel that the next breath wants to happen on its own. With each exhale focus on relaxing a different part of your body. Light, brisk breathing Breathe in and out your mouth at a rate of about one breath per second. Keep your breath light and shallow. Inhalations are usually quiet while exhalations are clearly heard, a bit like panting.
WHY BREATHE DURING LABOUR? There are many benefits of deep breathing, and not just for labouring women. Conscious breathing promotes comfort during pain by relaxing the body and mind through the steady rhythm of the breath. This promotes feelings of wellbeing and control, and also ensures that more oxygen pumps through the body, providing more strength for the mother and unborn baby.
Variable breathing Known as the ‘pant-pant-blow’ breathing where you alternate shorter breaths with longer inhalations and exhalations, variable breathing is particularly effective.
BREATHING TECHNIQUES TO TRY While there is no set right or wrong way to breathe your baby out, there are many different techniques you can try out. Find what feels good, and don’t be afraid to move between techniques if you feel like it: Slow breathing When the contractions become strong enough to stop you in your tracks, use slow breathing at first and for as long as it’s useful, but do not hesitate to change it if it no longer works. Many women feel the need to change their breathing during the active stage of labour.
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The simple act of conscious controlled breathing is effective not only because it works as a distraction from the pain of contractions, but also because deep breathing increases the body’s oxygenation and promotes relaxation, awareness of the body and mindfulness. Patterned breath, rhythmical and soothing, removes all the outside distractions and allows a woman to focus on the work of labour – more aware, more alert, more focused and more attentive. That can only be a good thing.
Alternating shorter breaths with longer inhalations and exhalations is particularly effective.
IMAGES: ASSETS.BABYCENTER.COM, BABEANDBELLY.COM, ISTOCK, MYHEALTHUNIT.CA
M&P|labour & birth
THE LAMAZE METHOD Marjorie Karmel, who had her first baby in France with Dr Ferdinand Lamaze, introduced this iconic breathing technique – made so popular by movies from the 80’s and 90’s – to America in the 1960s. The method aimed to teach women what Karmel had discovered in France; that conscious and controlled breathing could help to manage the pain of labour and prevent the need for intervention.
IT TAKES TWO, OR THREE, OR FOUR… As mentioned at the opening of this article, breathing your baby out is most effective when used in conjunction with other labour techniques and practices that research shows helps birthing mothers remain calm and confident. These are: Using different techniques such as massage, water, positive imagery, changing position and movement to manage the pain of contractions. Using everyday ways of creating comfort and relaxing work during labour too such as being private, having someone to hold your hand and wipe your face, and being surrounded by people you know care for you and that you trust. Accessing continuous emotional and physical support from family and friends rather than nurses shortens labour and reduces the need for pain intervention, as well as the risk of caesarean section. Avoiding restrictions in moving, eating and drinking reduces the risk of complicating the labour more than necessary.
Read up on breath work during labour at lamazeinternational. org and hypnobirthing.com.
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NAME
GIRLS
Axelle
MEANING Old German
Frida
Peaceful
Old German
Harmony
Unity
Latin
Irene
Peace
Greek
Mira
Peace
Hindi
Naimah
To be contented
Arabic
Rena
Melody
Hebrew
Salome
Peace
Hebrew
Serenity
Calm
French
Zulema
Tranquility
Arabic
BOYS
Absalom
MEANING
AFRICAN NAMES
WORDS:THINA MTHEMBU | IMAGES: PIXABAY
ORIGIN
Father is peace
Hebrew
Axel
Father of peace
Old German
Frederick
Peaceful ruler
Old German
Galen
Calm
Greek
Godfrey
God-peace
Old German
Ingram
Raven of peace
Old English
Manfred
Man of peace
Old German
Pax
Peace
Latin
Sheehan
Small and tranquil
Irish and Gaelic
Solomon
Peace
Hebrew
NAME
baby names.indd 33
ORIGIN
Father is peace
NAME
M&P|baby names
Namaste! The year is already buzzing, so to keep you calm, we’ve come up with a list of names with peaceful meanings that will make you want to grab your yoga mat and meditate.
MEANING
ORIGIN
Bonolo
Gentle (female)
SeSotho
Bollelo
Gentleness (unisex)
SeSotho
Kagiso
Peace (male)
Setswana
Kgotso
Calm (male)
SeSotho
Lesedi
Light (female)
Setswana
Mamello
Patience (female)
SeSotho
Segomotso
Comfort (unisex)
Setswana
Tholang
Quiet (male)
SeSotho
Thulani
Be quiet (male)
IsiZulu
Xolani
Be at peace (male)
IsiZulu
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M&P|0-1 babies
MOMENTS OF
Goodness
Peta Daniel asks the experts how you can best use your breastfeeding time as moments for mindful reflection aring for an infant and yourself while trying to make time for your family, friends, shopping and maintaining your house is exhausting. Stopping to breastfeed might be somewhat frustrating when you can’t tick off items on your to-do list or even catch up on much-needed sleep. However, there are massive benefits to a forced pause in your day and our expert recommends that you make the most of
it. Once you’ve got the hang of it – and it can be tricky to get started – breastfeeding can be a peaceful time of introspection and bonding with your child. This meditative space encourages centering, balance and de-stressing. Any anxiety or frustration you may be feeling may come across in your body language and voice, and your baby may pick up on it. Stress is very bad for everyone, especially children, and a comfortable, peaceful home is the best environment for baby to develop in.
Dr Sumayya Ebrahim, a psychologist specialising in family psychology, shares a pitfall that should be avoided. Many mothers who are overworked and overwhelmed could misuse their breastfeeding time. “For example,” says Dr Ebrahim, “a mother who is frazzled and has no time to think of how best to tackle her day may not practise meditation in any way while breastfeeding.” Instead, she may use the time to mentally compile a to-do list, going over all the items yet to be done, prioritising and
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M&P|0-1 babies
planning for each task. She may even begin to worry over things she thinks she hasn’t done well enough or stress over things she still has to do. This will simply exhaust her, says Dr Ebrahim. Instead of using your time to compile a mental chore chart, check your cell phone messages or engage in active worrying, try one of these options:
IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK
MEDITATION The ancient art of meditation is not only practised in the yoga studio. Some simply take a few minutes a day to let their thoughts go and focus on simply and quietly being, while others study meditation and practise for hours a day. Both methods and everything in-between show massive benefits. If you’ve never tried meditation before you can start by finding a teacher, attending a yoga class where meditation is a big part of the session, or simply finding a tutorial online. There are even apps you can download that track your meditation time, while soothing music plays to assist you on your way. However, you can start by simply closing your eyes. Make sure you’re in a comfortable position so that you won’t have to move for a few minutes. Keeping your eyes shut and start to breathe in and out. Concentrate on your breath. Allow the inhalation to deepen and lengthen, and then do the same to the exhalation. Your thoughts will wander, but keep leading them gently back to concentrating on your breath. This is not meant to put you to sleep, but simply to allow you to find peace for a moment. Regular practice will reduce stress levels and make you feel better. QUALITY TIME Meditation might not be for you. Another great way to use your breastfeeding time is to spend quality time with other loved ones. Your partner, mother or the siblings of the new baby may feel somewhat left out of your attentions as you navigate caring for a young infant. Taking the time to call your loved one over and have a nice
chat will make both of you feel positive and help maintain your relationship. For example, with an older sibling, call them over and initiate a conversation. Keep in mind your goal of relaxing quality time, so avoid topics that either of you find stressful, tedious or frustrating. Ask fanciful questions like ‘if you had a magical garden what would it look like? Describe it to me’ or ‘if birds could talk to us, what do you think they would say?’ Enjoy the laughter and beautiful moments that are bound to come out of moments like these. With siblings especially, sharing these moments will help them transition into life with a new sibling, easing envy
and the resulting attention-seeking behaviour. It will help you feel more connected to your older children as well as your new baby and leave you feeling mentally refreshed afterwards. However you choose to spend your quiet breastfeeding time, keep in mind that your infant’s safety comes first and falling asleep is not an option. If you are tired and sleep-deprived, perhaps avoid meditation if you worry that it may put you to sleep. Dr Ebrahim reminds you that everyone is different and what works for you may not work for someone else. Play around with activities during this time and find one that works best for you and your baby.
Sharing these moments will help you feel more connected to your older children as well as your new baby and leave you feeling mentally refreshed afterwards. 35
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M&P|dr dad
DR DAD explains how parents might be guilty of over-medicating their children as they try to prevent the discomfort that comes with the usual childhood sniffles
MEDICATING YOUR CHILD RESPONSIBLY
A
s a parent, you hate seeing your child sick and you’d do anything to help them feel better from achy muscles to sore throats. A study done in Australia showed that many parents run to the medicine cabinet the moment their child has a cough, sniffle or sneeze. Fifteen percent of parents, grandparents and caregivers admitted to giving pain medication to children without even taking their temperature, while nearly half would give an incorrect dosage.
DID YOU KNOW? A large number of children are given strong, mind-altering forms of medication, often before they’re even old enough to attend school. The long-term effects of psychotropic drugs (drugs that affect the mind) on children are largely unknown, while the unfortunate serious short-term side effects include seizures, suicidal thoughts, violent behaviour and more. Over 20 percent of children will be diagnosed with a mental disorder. The most common diagnosis for kids aged three to 17 is Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), followed by behavioural problems, anxiety and depression for which powerful and potentially dangerous psychiatric drugs are prescribed.
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M&P|dr dad COMPILED BY THINA MTHEMBU | IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK
IF YOUR CHILD NEEDS MEDICATION If your child is feeling ill, start off by calling your paediatrician to see if your child needs to be seen. The number of healthy options out there to help your child feel better will surprise you. Remember when Gogo made you gargle with salt water? She knew best then, and your child’s doctor can help you determine when home remedies will do the trick or when it’s time to turn to safer medication. As a parent or caregiver, you should form a ‘mental bubble’ whenever you’re administering medication to children. Here’s what you should do: Double-check that you’re giving the correct medication. C onfirm that you’re giving the right dose as prescribed, or indicated on the bottle. Make sure you’re not giving a second dose. SUPPORT FOR A CHILD ON CHRONIC MEDICATION Help your child become emotionally literate and guide them in gaining awareness of the situations in which they are comfortable or happy. Psychotropic medications tend to mute feelings. Your medicated child may grow up unaware of who and what makes them feel good and what makes them feel bad. In addition to helping your child become aware of their feelings, you should do everything you can to build your child’s self-confidence and selfesteem, so that when or if they eventually go off medication, they will feel confident that they can overcome life’s challenges without reaching for a bottle of pills.
SYMPTOMS TO LOOK OUT FOR Any medication given to a child can have side effects like: Increased heart rate Seizures Coma Weight gain Stunted growth Delay in brain development As you give your child medication, remember that it is not something to take lightly. Don’t be quick to reach for the pill bottle, especially when it comes to your child’s health. MEDICATION AS A NECESSITY There are times when medical intervention is necessary with children, and one of those instances is mental illness. As a matter of fact, mental illness is the one area that parents, in general, under-medicate their kids. Parents, especially those living in low income areas, aren’t always aware that kids can suffer from depression, insomnia, anxiety, ADHD, and other mental disorders. In the case of mental illness, you should seek out a physician you trust to diagnose and prescribe medication, if necessary. Also make it a point that you are aware of possible side effects, and closely monitor your child’s problems. A cautious approach to medicating should always be taken in the case of our children. Teach your children to respect medication and only use it when it is absolutely necessary. It starts with you, the parent, being a good role model for your kids by living and encouraging a healthy, more natural lifestyle.
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M&P|gogo’s advice
Your cycle or even pregnancy may have shown you that adults aren’t immune to breakouts, but Gogo has a few goodies in her garden that, when combined with fresh air, exercise and a good skin regime, can bring back that desired complexion
Glow
GET YOUR
FROM GOGO’S GARDEN
Avocado This green fruit is a great source of vitamin E, which boosts the skin’s vitality and shine. It also has good quantities of vitamin C, which can be used to reduce skin inflammation, while the avocado oil is said to stimulate the production of collagen in the skin to improve tone and texture. Eating a regular portion of avocado can also help improve your skin’s ability to keep itself moisturised.
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Peppermint Gogo’s best friend has to be peppermint. You’ve come to know that she adds it in almost everything for its potent healing and calming properties. Not only does it aid digestion, relieve stress (a common acne aggravator), treat headaches and clear sinuses, but it’s also really good for skin. Try dropping it in your brewing cup and see if it makes a difference on your skin.
Tomatoes They are rich in vitamin C, which is known to help keep skin firm and taut by aiding collagen production. They also contain lycopene, the red pigment which not only gives them their bright red colour, but also stimulates circulation.
Beetroot You may complain about the beetroot stains on the tablecloth, but Gogo loves these purple roots for their skin-clearing properties. High levels of vitamin A, potassium, sodium, calcium, magnesium and vitamin E help with epidermal health and healing, making a powerful allround body cleanser that eliminates toxins from your body and lowers cholesterol too.
WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU | IMAGES: PIXABAY
Dark Berries Not only are berries filled with skinclearing antioxidants, but they’re also packed with fibre, which is great for staving off hunger pangs and regulating insulin production.
Red Grapes According to Gogo, red grapes and their seeds contain powerful natural chemicals and antioxidants that have been shown to treat inflammatory skin conditions such as eczema and psoriasis. Red grapes also work as a natural antihistamine, so whenever you get a chance, snack on a few washed grapes between meals.
Remember that, although you trust Gogo’s advice, it’s always best to ask your doctor or nurse at your local clinic first!
2017/02/23 5:28 PM
Let your kids enjoy dermatologically endorsed fruity splashes with Ella the Elephant or bubblegum fun with Tommy Turtle 2-in-1 wash & foam from Cherubs. Ecofriendly and lovingly made in South Africa, the bubbles come in sturdy two-litre bottles priced at just R49.99.
NEWS
IMAGES: CHRIS ALLAN, FREEBEES. MEROPA. OLLY POLLY
INSPIRED BY KIDS, MADE WITH LOVE Olly Polly is a trend collection of playroom must-haves that also offers a bespoke styling service to help create unique spaces for little personalities. Inspired by the craftsmanship and fresh-air aesthetics of Scandinavian interiors, all items are made to order and can be customised with preferred colours. Bestsellers include teepee shelves, book ledges and baby gyms. Visit ollypolly.co.za or follow them on Facebook: Olly Polly and Instagram: @ollypollydecor.
KEEP TRACK OF YOUR KIDS Tracker has developed an app called #MySafeKidz that will help parents monitor the location of the their kids’ school bus to an accuracy of within five metres. The tracking device will allow the school to have access to data from a web interface where they can track and manage their school buses, view driver behaviour and monitor fuel consumption, as well as check the bus route and zone. The school will also be able to check and provide drivers with medical and road assistance in case of battery failure, keys locked in the bus or any other emergency. Parents at the schools that have installed the tracking devices can download the app to their smartphone or computer from the play stores. The app is available for download for both Android and Apple. For more information on the tracking device and the #MySafeKidz app, visit the Tracker website on tracker.co.za
M&P|news & tips
NEW! CHERUBS BUBBLE BATH
& tips
TRY THE FRANKIE BEANS MATERNITY PILLOW Pregnant and new moms are always looking for comfort and support, and the Frankie Beans maternity pillow does just that. Each pillow consists of thousands of tiny polyester fibre balls, which create a soft and free-flowing, down-like comfort. This allows your body to nestle into the pillow to give contoured comfort and support for your tummy and back. The maternity pillows can be used once you have had your baby to provide comfort during breastfeeding and reduce the pressure on your arms and shoulders to support your baby’s weight. It’s also great for long drives, sitting at the desk, air travel or even as a head rest in your feeding chair. For more information and other products, visit frankiebeans.co.za.
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M&P|hall of fame
Photo
Your Baby’s
CAN WIN*
Send snaps of your picture-perfect baby moments to us at photos@mamasnpapasmag.com to feature on our Hall of Fame. Include your baby’s full name, gender and age, as well as your full contact details, with Hall of Fame in the subject line.
Riley Mark Bastiaanse
Kayden Pillay
Aaliyah Khan
Raghma Stoffburg
Esihle Nondwana
Siyanda Jnr Andile
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M&P|hall of fame
WIN* A 12-MONTH SUBSCRIPTION TO MAMAS & PAPAS MAGAZINE (PRINT OR DIGITAL) VALUED AT...
R300!
LAST MONTH’S WINNERS... Sbongakonke Rabothata Lonwabo Olebogeng Kotoyi Peyton Vigne
Khuco & Khumo Lekgari
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Molemowaone Sello
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Mlibo Kaone Magawu
Babies must be 0 to 3 years to qualify. Closing date for the April 2017 issue Hall of Fame entrants: 30 March 2017. * M&P terms and conditions apply. See page 87.
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M&P|toddlers
7 Rules
TO DINING OUT WITH YOUR TODDLER You cannot stay cooped up at home until your child has left the nest, and regular babysitters can be costly. Melissa Jane Cook helps parents of toddlers enjoy a night out together with their little one. 42
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ourns j o s t s ir “The f taurant are s to a re etting used g about g somewhere n n to eati an the kitche h d other t d eating foo y n table a t prepared b o that’s n or Daddy.” y Momm
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M&P|toddlers
W
hat used to be time to unwind has now become an hour of cutting up food, cleaning up messes, and being interrupted countless times. But it’s OK. What toddlers lack in manners they make up for in cuteness. As anyone with a two- or threeyear-old knows, taking a toddler to a restaurant is no walk in the park. It requires patience, planning, and several glasses of vino! When you take a toddler out to eat, you’re including a guest who finds it difficult to sit still, is prone to tantrums, and probably has a limited interest in new cuisine, says parent advisor Dr Jenn Berman, author of SuperBaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years (Sterling, 2011). Still, dining out is a great way to encourage flexibility. “The first sojourns to a restaurant are about getting used to eating somewhere other than the kitchen table and eating food that’s not prepared by Mommy or Daddy,” adds etiquette expert Cindy Post, author of The Gift of Good Manners (William Morrow, 2005).
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Find an appropriate restaurant You don’t have to limit yourself to fast food, but do pick a place that’s family-friendly. “If you go to a restaurant that’s too fancy, you’re just setting your child up to fail,” says Berman. “You’ll be embarrassed and angry if your kid is disruptive, when really it’s not their fault.” So, look for restaurants with a children’s menu and high chairs – and most important, where they’re used to a little (or a lot of) noise and mess.
2
Don’t take your toddler out if they are sleepy Talk about a recipe for disaster! When you make your reservation, plan around your child’s regular sleep schedule. If they typically nap at 1pm, an early dinner is a much better idea than lunch at noon, for example. “This is about your child’s needs, not yours,” says Berman, who recently staged a restaurant intervention with a mom whose 18-month-old was flinging silverware across the table. “This woman was at her wits’ end. She was yelling: ‘No! Do not do that!’ as she grabbed her son’s wrist and face. Eventually, I felt compelled to help out,” she explains. “I bent down so the other diners couldn’t hear me, and said: ‘You seem to be having a hard time. I’m a mom too and also a therapist. Can I help?’ “Then we talked about how yelling wasn’t helping the situation and what she could do to prevent these kinds of situations in the future. The woman actually seemed relieved.” As they talked, Berman found out that it was an hour-and-a-half past the kid’s usual bedtime. No wonder he was out of control.
“Twenty minutes in a high chair is about all you can reasonably expect from a toddler. It takes impulse control to sit still.”
3
Entertainment in your handbag Finger puppets, sheer scarves for peekaboo, and sorting toys that fit on a high-chair tray are all great for keeping little kids occupied. As for electronic devices like your smartphone, “I know this won’t win me any friends, but I’m not a fan of giving them to a child in a restaurant,” says Berman. “It means they’re missing out on the experience of interacting with people, which is part of what dining out is about.” If this is all that works though and calms them down, then let them absorb themselves in colours and fastmoving characters.
4
Get ready to dash about “Twenty minutes in a high chair is about all you can reasonably expect from a toddler,” Post warns. (More active kids may not even last that long.) After that, you or your partner will probably have to take your kid for a walk before they can sit quietly again. “It takes impulse control to sit still,” says Berman. “Little bodies need to move. Fortunately, taking a quick jaunt outside is like pressing the ‘refresh’ button.”
5
Decide what you want to eat before you arrive If you want time to actually eat your meal before a tantrum sets in, place your order as quickly as possible. You might think it’s helpful to order your kid’s meal first, but that tactic can backfire in the likely scenario that they finish eating before your food even arrives – and then they will need something to occupy them while you eat. A better plan: Order together (don’t be shy about asking the waiter to put a rush on it) and offer your kid some favourite snacks you’ve brought from home, which should keep them satisfied until their meal comes. Another word to the wise: You can usually check a restaurant’s menu online ahead of time, which will save precious minutes at the table.
6
Be mindful of others enjoying a night out Even if you’re at an inexpensive family restaurant, other customers have the right to enjoy a meal in relative peace. If your child is getting restless or agitated, cart them out of the restaurant to settle down. If they still become loud and rowdy at the table, apologise to nearby patrons as you walk out (you’ll be surprised how many will give an empathetic ‘been there’ nod). And don’t forget to tip generously if you’ve left a mess behind.
7
At any stage, you may have to leave Even the most well-planned meal can turn into a complete dining disaster when an unpredictable toddler is involved. If things get really ugly, you may have only one choice: Take your food to go, put your child to sleep in their cot, and then enjoy your meal at home – ideally by candlelight.
IMAGE: PIXABAY
M&P|toddlers
1
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WHY
?
JET BRUWER (8)
“I love pizza with ham and pineapple and Tobasco! Burgers don’t have the same flavour as pizza; the bread is too much.”
WORDS AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY PARENTS
SOFIA IBRAHIM (4)
“I like pizza because I like cheese. Pizza is yummy.”
ALEXA COETZER (5)
“I love pizza a lot because it has cheese and I’m a little mouse.”
AVARIYAH SINGH (2)
“I eat a burger. Burger is yummy.”
?
M&P|kids’ voices
WHI BURG CH IS BE ERS TTE R... OR PIZZ A
IMANI NGWENYA (10)
“I love burgers. I can choose chicken or beef. Soft bun, juicy tomato, warm meat and melted cheese! What’s not to like? Yummy!” LUKE COETZER (7)
“I love burgers. Especially from Burger King because the meat is really tasty!”
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M&P|kids fashion
ORANGE AND ARMY GREEN TWO-PACK SHORTS, R89.99, MRP.
TWO-PACK PRINTED T-SHIRT, R249, H&M.
SPIDER-MAN PRINTED CAP, R129, H&M.
Let your child live their dream in their favourite Disney character
GRAY AND GREEN TWO-PACK COTTON SHORTS, R89.99, MRP.
COTTON CANVAS WITH PRINT MOTIF TRAINERS, R249, H&M.
WHITE PRINTED T-SHIRT, R179, H&M.
GREEN-AND-BLACK PRINTED CAP, R129, H&M.
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MINNIE BUCKET HAT, R79, ZANDO.
M&P|kids fashion
WINNIE THE POOH BUCKET HAT, R79, ZANDO.
WHITE ANNA AND ELSA PRINTED T-SHIRT, R45.99, MRP.
TWO-PACK PRINTED TOPS, R229, H&M
PRINTED LEGGINGS, R179, H&M.
WORDS: PALESA SETHLAPLEO | IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS
BALLERINA SKIRT, R79.99, MRP.
IMITATION MINNIE LEATHER SKIRT, R249, H&M.
BALLET DRESS, R329, H&M.
TRAINERS WITH PRINT MOTIF, R329, H&M
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M&P|preschoolers
HEALTHY
PARTY FOOD THAT TASTES GREAT TOO! Nowhere is excitement more evident than at a child’s birthday party. But while children get hyped up about fun with friends, parents are often a bit more reserved at the thought of the mountain of unhealthy foods their child is going to guzzle down through the course of the afternoon.
C
hildren’s parties are synonymous with unhealthy junk foods and sugar-filled drinks and treats. Results show that one in three American children between two and 18 years of age consume treats like sweets or chocolate on any given day. On a ‘party’ day, participants reported eating on average 40 grams of sweets (739kJ). In fact, a study on
European school children found that the consumption of foods and drinks rich in added sugar were significantly higher on weekends compared with weekdays, with weekend parties the likely culprit. With parties, parents often throw caution to the wind because of the special occasions. The reality is that children attend parties so frequently that overeating treats is no longer only an occasional occurrence but has become the weekend norm.
SUGAR DETECTIVES There is increasing concern that sugar contributes to excess energy (kilojoules) in the diet. The problem is compounded by the fact that sugary treats and foods displace healthier, nutrient-rich foods such as fruit and vegetables, leading to a less healthy diet, weight gain, and increased risk of adult chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease.
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WORDS:PEDIASURE®| IMAGES: PIXABAY
KEEPING UP THE FUN AT PARTIES The question is how do we make party food fun for children, while at the same time providing healthy and nutritious alternatives? Here are some great ideas for the next time you host a kiddies’ party and tips to help you navigate the weekend parties ahead.
and allowing for controlled amounts of treats on the weekend. Don’t let your child go to a party on an empty stomach. Offer a healthy food option beforehand to fill up the tummy and minimise the risk of going overboard on treats. This can include a healthy sandwich with pieces of sliced chicken breast and avo, or yoghurt and fresh fruit with a sprinkle of nuts, or a homemade fruit smoothie made with frozen berries, yoghurt and PediaSure® Complete. You can also give your child a glass of PediaSure® Complete before the party or include it in a smoothie. A nutrient-
rich, lactose-free drink that provides balanced nutrition for children from age three to 10, PediaSure® Complete contains pre- and probiotics, is a source of 16 essential vitamins and minerals and essential Omega 3 fatty acids. If you are not hosting, offer to bring a plate of eats for the host. Use the opportunity to bring something healthy that you know your children will love.
M&P|preschoolers
For this reason, the World Health Organisation recommends that sugar be kept to a maximum of 5 percent of total energy each day. Even more specifically to prevent dental cavities, studies have shown that sugar intake of less than 5 percent of total energy is the ideal target for young children. This is based on evidence that shows that the negative health effects of dental cavities are cumulative through life, tracking from childhood through to adulthood.
Healthy party foods can still taste great and be attractive to children (and adults, too). Set the tone when you host your child’s birthday party to encourage other parents to do the same.
If you are the host: Make healthy yet attractive treats available for the kids such as fruit pizza, fruit skewers dusted with cocoa, vegetable crudités like baby carrots wrapped with lean cold meats, or marshmallow popcorn pops. If the party is in summer, you can also make your own Vanilla Custard or Vanilla Ice Cream with *PediaSure® Complete, a complete and balanced paediatric nutritional supplement. Make healthier drinks like homemade iced teas or fruit-infused sparkling water. Add sliced apples, berries, or mango slices to sparkling water for a homemade fizzy drink. Channel high energy levels at parties to do fun activities and games. Plan a treasure hunt around the garden or host a child-friendly Olympics, where teams compete to win a prize such as a story book or skipping rope. If your child is attending a party: Focus on giving your children healthy and balanced meals most of the time,
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M&P|special needs
Love
BLINDING Peta Daniel talks to global adventurer Hein Wagner about how it feels to have begun life’s greatest journey… becoming a parent
P
arenting is one of the most difficult yet rewarding challenges in life, but Hein Wagner is on a difficulty level far above the rest of us in the game of life. Born blind, the adventurer suffers from an inherited retinal degenerative disease called Leber congenital amaurosis (LCA) – a condition his daughter stands a chance of inheriting. Hein has completed many gruelling marathons, triathlons and other outdoor adventures including the Two Oceans and New York Marathons, the World Triathlon Series in Cape Town, the white waters
of the Zambezi River, the 10 highest mountains in the Western Cape, and the Cape to Rio Yacht Race. He also holds the World Blind Land Speed record at 322.52 kilometres per hour. While he admits to having battled to find his feet in the beginning, he has reached unimaginable heights and defeated obstacles that the fully sighted would balk at. A SHAKY START Hein’s condition took his family by surprise, as there is no registered incidence of LCA in his family. He was sent to boarding school at the age of five, unable to see and terrified. Although he couldn’t understand why
his parents would send him away, he grew to understand that it was the best decision they could have made.Through his younger years he remained curious in the world around him, exploring and learning daily. However, as he hit his teens he found himself floundering. Mired in self-doubt and anger at his condition, he questioned his entire existence. Finally, he turned to extreme adventuring and after several incredible experiences he saw the light. Most teenagers feel as if they are growing up blind: unsure of how to act, what they feel and who they are. Couple that insecurity with complete blindness and there is a definite recipe for a difficult
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IMAGES: METAXA
M&P|special needs
time. At the Pioneer School for the blind in Worcester, Hein participated in all the sports and physical activities they had on offer including wrestling, mountain climbing, swimming and more. He met his first serious girlfriend there, but after three years together they decided to end their relationship believing it would not be ideal for both partners in the relationship to be blind. His teenage years and early twenties were fraught with emotional hurdles as Hein came to accept his blindness. “I felt so inadequate, as I couldn’t do obvious things like make eye contact with the people I loved,” he says. The frustration mounted as he saw how difficult it would be to find a career, live alone and be independent. “During my twenties I changed the way I looked at my blindness and worked hard to see the humour in things that happened to me daily. It helped me to find the lighter side of living in darkness.”
Hein and India Wagner
WHO IS HEIN NOW? An adventurer, motivational speaker corporate entertainer and lover of life, Hein describes himself first and foremost as “the proudest dad in the world”. He met his fiance Monica in Sweden at a conference where he gave a motivational speech. “It was love at first sight,” he says. Monica describes the things she loves about him, from how he constantly tries to uplift others and put his family first to the way he knows her wine glass is empty just by the sound it makes when she puts it down. “Hein is sometimes scared that I will miss the eye contact, but I haven’t missed it for a second,” she says. “I feel that he can see into my soul.” Their daughter India was born in April 2016. He was concerned about his daughter inheriting his condition, but Monica calmly convinced him that it doesn’t matter whether their daughter grows up sighted or not. So far, everything indicates that her sight is normal. With his eye on a few more challenges, including an ice marathon in Siberia and a Swedish full ironman, he adds that training is very difficult with a little voice calling for “papa” and begging to play instead.
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M&P|cover story
AFRIKA’S MOMTREPRENEUR
Juggling a business and motherhood is not child’s play, but with the right attitude and a great partner, Elana AfrikaBredenkamp proves it is possible
W
ith a long broadcasting career, several business ventures under her belt, and over 100,000 followers on Twitter, 37-year-old Elana Afrika’s name is a force to be reckoned with. Her journey into the entertainment industry was inspired when she was still a child, a time that she fondly recalls as being easy and carefree. She knew she wanted to be on stage when she started playing piano in church on Sundays. “I loved the feeling of having my talent nurtured,” she says. “I would see Doreen Morris as a continuity presenter on M-Net and, as a young woman of colour, I completely identified with her. I knew that if she could do it, I could too!” At the age of just 20, Elana was headhunted by Jacaranda FM, one of the biggest commercial radio stations in South Africa. “That is one of the greatest highlights in my career. I learned so much while I was there and I’m still in contact with the Jacaranda FM team. They continue to do great
work and I love listening to them when I’m working in Gauteng.” She credits her success to a team of people who have supported her all the way, including her sister, parents and her husband, Ian Bredenkamp. “I’ve also been blessed to have people whom I admired as a youngster now become my friends and mentors, namely Felicia Mabuza-Suttle and Doreen Morris.”
BUILDING AN EMPIRE Elana also had her fair share of challenges, especially in her career, but she advises others that these setbacks can be turned into highlights. “While studying drama at university, for example, I was prevented by the university from taking part in a professional stage production. That experience was difficult at the time,” she admits, “but it taught me that I have to work even harder to crack the roles I wanted.” And she did. Apart from her successful career in television and radio, Elana managed to turn her winemaking hobby into a thriving business. “When
I moved back to Cape Town five years ago, the opportunity of winemaking presented itself. It was a big learning curve and challenging, but exciting too, and I was part of the process from the beginning to the end,” she explains. “We made 1 500 bottles of Elana Wine and holding the bottle in my hands at the end was extremely rewarding.” She and her husband also recently launched a new PR agency (ElanaAfrikaPR.co.za) offering media, eventing and FMCG services to clients. As if that wasn’t enough to keep her busy, the ambitious entrepreneur is currently working on a new baby range.
FAMILY LIFE Ian was a university acquaintance with whom Elana reunited later in life, and she was drawn to his gentle, caring nature, as well as his way with children. The happy wife adds, “We became best friends and then fell in love.” It wasn’t long after getting married that the couple discovered they were pregnant with their baby girl.
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M&P|cover story 54
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“What I love about being pregnant is being pregnant!”
M&P|cover story
“During the beginning of my first pregnancy, everyone’s advice was daunting and I was careful to limit what I took in, but I made sure to follow the advice of my mother and my mother-inlaw. That coupled with antenatal classes and Heidi Murkoff’s ever-popular What To Expect When You’re Expecting (Workman Publishing, 1984) made for an easier pregnancy.” Closer to the birth of her daughter, Elana says she Googled the term ‘birth plan’ and drew up a list of things she wanted during the birth and gave it to her doctor. “The amazing thing is she followed it step by step and everything worked out perfectly,” Elana shares. The momtrepreneur also read all her pregnancy books up until the birth of her child. “It should have included a few chapters of what happens after the birth,” she adds. “I remember leaving the hospital with my husband and saying to him, ‘let’s just pause and say a prayer first’ – it was overwhelming arriving at the hospital as two people and leaving as three.” “Arriving home was surreal,” Elana explains. “The baby room, which had been ready three months prior and stood empty, now had a baby in it. I remember checking on my daughter every five minutes. I just couldn’t believe that she was there.” As for putting her professional career on hold, Elana doesn’t recall having taken much of a break. She worked until a month before her daughter’s birth and went back three weeks after giving birth. “Even with my busy schedule I believe I am a great mom. I also work hard to show my daughter that we can do anything through belief and hard work,” she says emphatically.
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| WORDS: KATI DIJANE | PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS | STYLISTS: TUMI M AND DONATELLA PIA | MAKEUP: TARYN KEMP | DRESSED BY: ALDO, AMANDA LAIRD CHERRY AT THE SPACE, COLLEEN EITZEN AT THE SPACE, COUNTRY ROAD, DVF AT CALLAGHAN CALLEZIONI, LAMODA, MIMCO, WITCHERY | LOCATION: AFRICAN PRIDE 15 ON ORANGE
“What I love about being pregnant is being pregnant!” says the expectant mother. “The feeling is incredible and the excitement unreal. Also, the scan shows that this baby looks a lot different to my first one, so I cannot wait to meet this little person.” Although the couple is not sure of their baby’s gender, Elana is happy that her current pregnancy is different to the first one. “I am carrying lower and I have more energy. I have a few more weeks to go and the nursery is not ready yet!” she laughs. “Also, this baby moves a lot. This little one is a whole lot busier than the first one!” The media personality is as prepared for her second birth as she was with her first one: “Physically, I was totally prepared for my first birth. I did Pilates and went to gym up until a week before the birth. I knew that if I was going to have a natural birth, I needed to be prepared and strong.”
M&P|cover story
THAT PREGNANCY GLOW
WORDS OF WISDOM Elana wishes she could have four more children, and adds that the gift of being able to carry a baby is an enormous privilege for her. “I have two stepchildren and will soon have two of my own, so most of the time we have a busy home. Perhaps I could stick to two babies or ask God for another one, when the others grow older,” she muses. When it comes to advising other pregnant women, the supermom says, “Time goes so fast, so enjoy it. Nobody knows your baby better than you, so use your discretion as to who to listen to.” She also emphasises that women who are planning on becoming pregnant should enjoy the process with their partners. “Enjoy the bonding process and don’t forget to be loving towards each other at all times.” To those who fall pregnant without a loving support structure, Elana says, “Many women go through the same or similar situation. Surround yourself with support groups like mommy groups (I still belong to one) and stay in touch with good family and friends who are positive and supportive.” She continues, “I once read that pregnant women are very vulnerable, often bullied and discriminated against. I think this is true and I am extremely cautious of people around me, especially if they are in a bad or unpleasant mood. I don’t want it affecting me.” Elana believes that both parents should be actively involved in raising their children and work together as a team. This starts with the significant choice of the right life partner to father your children. “It was important that I marry a man who would be an excellent father, and who could take care of me as well as I take care of myself,” she says. “I had that in mind before committing to my husband. We cannot choose the babies that God gives to us but we can choose who we fall in love with!”
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M&P|working moms & dads
PRACTISING
Mindful PARENTING
Simcha van Bel-Du Plooy has realised it is easy to avoid being present and quite a challenge to live in the now, especially during zip-line moments
A
s a parent, I have often found myself rushing from A to B throughout the day, barely stopping to take a breath, driving in auto-pilot and not recalling how I managed to arrive at my destination. My thoughts would leap three steps into the future as I planned what was next on my agenda. From phone calls to emails, shopping lists to dinner menu plans, this constant rushing was not feeding my parent-child relationship what it needed to grow and strengthen. Since my daughter was born, I have been leaping into planning mode. When is the next nap? When is the
next feed? Her presence added to my chaotic schedule and I often struggled to find quality time to spend with her – time when I could just ‘be’ and enjoy watching my child learn, try new things, experience failure and success, laugh and cry. As she grew older I focused on measuring when she was going to start walking and talking, followed by the time she would be out of nappies. I found myself racing from one developmental milestone to the next against a clock I had created in my mind. When she was barely a year old I was already exploring primary school options!
FOCUS ON THE NOW I had to stop and re-evaluate my parenting style. How could I become more ‘mindful’ in my parenting? How could I make the moments with her count? Rather than planning her future, how could I be present with her in the ‘now’ and enjoy those moments? Whether we were conversing, playing or just taking a walk in the park, it was important that I be present in that moment with my child and not judge or plan. Yes, future is important, but the present far outweighs it. In ignoring the present and focusing too much on what was to come, I was missing my chance to make memories with my child.
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QUALITY TIME Clinical psychologist Janet Bytheway shares that ‘the idea of quality time is that you will have a large stretch of time in which you and your child will do something special’. The key word for me here was, of course, ‘special’. Is the moment that we are having truly special or am I just running that race in my mind to achieve predetermined goals? Initially, I set one morning a week to just do something special, but quickly found myself using this time for errands like grocery shopping or trips to the bank. We would chat in the car on the way to the shops but my mind was really on the other drivers on the road, or the grocery list. This could hardly count as quality time and maintaining my mindfulness state was not easy. It involved constant reminders that I needed to bring myself back to the present. I wanted to practise mindfulness during the quality moments that we shared as parent and child. I understood that this entailed the ability to be completely attentive to what it was that my child was sharing with me while we spent time together. However, I battled to switch off my thoughts about work and my list of to-do items while I was engaging with my child. During the quiet moments when we would work on a puzzle or draw, my mind was elsewhere, and when we chatted, I struggled to engage in what author Gary Chapman calls ‘quality conversation’. Chapman explains that this involves a dialogue between two people that encompasses thoughts, feelings and desires. What is key in his description is that it involves an ‘uninterrupted context’, suggesting that one is fully immersed in this
Breathing, observing and taking pauses during my interactions with my child can help ground me within the present moment
space with the other person. There are no uninvited thoughts or forward planning. I understood that quality conversation meant that I needed to turn off all my electric devices – another realisation I found challenging as a parent. Cape Town psychologist Janet Bytheway says that ‘quality time is when parents listen to their children’s stories with attention, not just with one ear’ – something I had been doing often. I became aware of the need to switch off not only my phone and the
M&P|working moms & dads
Wikipedia defines ‘mindfulness’ as ‘a moment-by-moment awareness’ and I was missing out on those moments. It became important to allocate quality time with my child – time which was just for us and time which was focused in the present. This became the initiation of my journey into training myself to be a mindful parent during our parent-child time.
TV, but also my wandering mind, to enable myself to be more mindful and present in the space I was sharing with my child. Bytheway further comments that this is ‘not possible every time’, but that perhaps parents can reflect on this part of their parent-child relationship and ‘try and do this more’. Being mindful therefore became giving quality time while being fully present, not just physically but mentally as well. As Chapman explains, this is ‘giving someone your undivided attention’.
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love in the form of touch so he gets lots of hugs and cuddles on the couch with his mommy. Over and above being mindful within this space a parent spends with her child, Michelle highlights the need to be childcentred in making the quality time meaningful towards the individual child. Understanding my child’s love language, is information that could only be accessed through mindfulness and presence within my interactions with her. Having moments that are child-led and child-centred became key in ensuring that the time we spend together is confirmed as ‘meaningful’ by my child. I sometimes still struggle to control my thoughts
during our parent-child interactions, but I am learning to develop my mindful parenting skills and acknowledge that I am a ‘good-enough’ parent in my failures. When my mind drifts, I have learnt that breathing, observing and taking pauses during my interactions with my child can help me to reconnect and ground me within the present moment. My connection with my child has been enhanced and become richer simply by making our snippets of time together more memorable and more quality-full.
IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK
M&P|working moms & dads
He further explains that ‘quality time is a powerful emotional communicator of love’ and ‘a central aspect of quality time is togetherness’. For me, togetherness meant being present and when I switched off the external distractors, I became present and focused, allowing for memory-making moments and some level of success in my mindfulness parenting journey. I needed to re-wire my behaviour and understand that just because we were in the same room, it does not mean we were spending quality time together. Counselling psychologist Kerry Acheson says that the ‘purpose of quality time is to build a relationship’ and points out that ‘prioritising quality time (with children)’ is probably the recommendation she most frequently makes in her work with children and their families. She reflects upon modern-day living and the challenges it poses for parents, stating that ‘with today’s hectic schedules, adequate quality time is difficult to achieve, especially in bigger families. It takes intentional effort and creative planning to balance personal time, couple time, parent-child time and family time’. I acknowledge my own personal challenges in this regard, while considering those of bigger families too. Michelle, a mother of three from Cape Town says, “The hardest thing was identifying each kid’s love language.” (a concept explored by Chapman) For Michelle, quality time is aligned with the child’s love language. For child A, whose love language is time, she will play a game such as Monopoly, while with child B, whose love language is words of affirmation, she will ensure that he receives lots of acknowledgement while being mommy’s little helper. Child C receives
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M&P|working moms & dads
THE ART OF BEING A SINGLE MOTHER Bulelwa Mokori talks to motivational speaker Sihle Seleke who, being a single mom herself, empowers and uplifts other single moms
A
recent research conducted by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) and the South African Race Relations Institute (SARRI) found that 60 percent of South African children have absent fathers, and more than 40 percent of South African mothers are single parents. Single motherhood comes with a unique set of challenges that can, at times feel overwhelming. Being a single mom herself, Johannesburgbased influential speaker, songstress and businesswoman Sihle Seleke has identified the need for single moms to get together and be empowered.
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M&P|working moms & dads
Watching a single mother juggling pick-ups, boardroom meetings, parent-teacher meetings, organising school transport, and drop-offs makes you realise just how freakishly superhuman she can be. SUPPORT SYSTEM According to Sihle, single moms can often feel isolated and overwhelmed and that it is important for them to feel that they have some sort of community behind them. “I am a mother of two and have realised early on that no matter how strong I felt, I could not do this alone,” she says. Sihle adds that her mother has become her support, and she advises single moms to realise that their best friends, parents, communities and church organisations are there to support them. “Delving too much
into single-mommy stuff can get rather depressing over time,” she says. ASK FOR HELP Sihle understands that it is sometimes hard for single moms to ask for help or even admit they need it. “Some have often been brought to the point of tears and filled with guilt before they could pick up the phone. I am not afraid to ask for help and have learnt to be specific about what I need,” she says.
“There may be people in your life who want to help you but are not sure how. If, like many single moms, you feel uncomfortable asking for help, or worry that you are being a burden to busy family and friends, try to trade services with other parents,” she says. Sihle adds that single moms can swap babysitting duties with neighbours. “There are times when you might just need to get out of the house for an hour. Knowing that you have a babysitter nearby can save you money and sanity,” she says.
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IMAGES: SHUTTERSTOCK | PIXABAY
RE-ADJUST YOUR PRIORITIES Sihle says many single moms fall into the superwoman trap, feeling that in addition to working all day, they must also keep a clean house, serve home-cooked meals, and tend to their children’s needs. “Single moms need to be realistic about what they can and cannot accomplish in a day,” she adds. “What is more, they should not feel as though they have to overcompensate just because they are parenting on their own. My best advice to single moms is to lower your expectations and give yourself a break. I realised I was driving myself crazy trying to be a mom, work full time, and keep everything perfect at home.”
My best advice to single moms is to lower your expectations and give yourself a break
Sihle advises single moms to make some personal time by hiring cleaning help, but mostly she says they must learn to let things slide. “I realised that if I wanted to spend time with my children and get any sleep, I had to rethink my priorities,” she says. GOODBYE TO GUILT Single moms are probably well acquainted with a nagging sense of guilt, about working too much or too little, not having enough time or money. “But while it is always easy to find something to feel guilty about, it helps to focus on what is good and right about your family rather than on what is wrong or lacking,” says Sihle. “Non-material things are ultimately more important than being too materialistic. I do take comfort in knowing that my children are happy, secure and loved. This helps me put my guilt away.” NURTURE AND SET GOALS FOR YOURSELF “It is important to set goals for yourself for the day, week, month, or year so that you have something to look forward to. Having goals, no matter how modest, can keep your spirits up and keep you moving forward,” claims Sihle.
She adds that some single moms have longterm ambitions, like going back to school, losing weight, starting a new relationship, or moving to a better home. But for many moms, the most immediate, sanity-saving goals involve finding some much-needed personal time. Whether it is going out one night a week or month, listening to music, getting fresh air and exercise, or spending a few minutes a day in quiet reflection.
M&P|working moms & dads
UNNECESSARY STRESS Another of her suggestions is that single moms make use of daycare centres or extended family members like the grandmothers (known as gogos) to take care of the children while at work. “Watching a single mother juggling pick-ups, boardroom meetings, parent-teacher meetings, organising school transport, and dropoffs makes you realise just how freakishly superhuman she can be. But, as impressive as it may look, she finds no joy in keeping busy just for the sake of looking busy, and would prefer to remove herself from anything that causes any unnecessary stress or drama,” she adds. This makes the single mom an impressive strategic manager who handles her time and tasks wisely and approaches everything with a little savoir-faire. “It is not fun, it is exhausting, and it means she is reminded of all the things she must see to,” she adds.
MANAGING FINANCES Sihle knows that every single mother has to have money management down to a fine art. “Money is on constant play and rewind in her mind. She is the breadwinner, sole provider and accountant for the household, and so she needs to be on top of every penny. The pressure is on. Whether that means getting the best bargains or coming up with creative ways to save money, she does more than her best.” AFRAID OF FAILING Unlike coupled parents, single moms have the arduous task of shouldering their burden on their own. “But surely there is always someone to share the responsibility with if anything goes wrong in order to lessen the stress. Practise the art of letting go!” she says emphatically, adding that she has learnt to come to terms with not worrying about the things she cannot change, and simply concentrates on the things she can, using her energy wisely so as not to burn out. “My own children are the source of my strength. When I have to face life’s challenges each day, I delegate tasks knowing that I have to remain strong for them,” says Sihle.
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and have my own photography studio, where I can express my creativity. Q What’s the best parenting advice you’ve been given? Sleep when your baby sleeps!
Q Who is your biggest inspiration and why? Undoubtedly my mum. At the age of 68, I don’t know how she does everything she does in a day, when for us the hours in a day is just not enough!
VIRAKSHA AND ANIL SINGH WITH THEIR DAUGHTER, AVARIYAH
Finance Administrator & Part-time Photographer Q How would you describe yourself? Creative, resourceful, ambitious and positive. Q What do you miss most about your childhood, and which moment would you like to relive? For me, it would be the carefree way of life as a child that I miss the most. I would love to re-live the days of pretend play… making tents with blankets, playing ‘obstacle course’ in the backyard and having sports ‘tournaments’ with kids from the neighbourhood. Q Being a mother has taught me… Patience and resilience. I’ve learnt about strengths I didn’t know I had and dealt with fears I didn’t know existed within me.
Q How does a typical Monday morning look in your house? It starts with my daughter, Avariyah (2), chatting away to me while I dress for work. She helps me put on lotion and combs my hair, she wants to sit on my lap and feed me my cereal (nevermind my uniform!). Then it’s organising her food and snacks for the day, giving her vitamins, putting on a cartoon for her and washing dishes before I head out the door for work! Q If you could choose another career, what would it be? I would love to be a full-time photographer
Q How would you define motherhood? It is a journey of watching your heart walk around you outside of your body, the great pleasure of putting your child’s needs before yours to see the joy on their face. Being a mother opens a door in your heart that you never knew was locked, it is the most fulfilling aspect of life. Q How do you make sure that your family stays healthy? We have regular medical check-ups and I ensure that we eat in moderation. Q In 2017 I’m going to… Buy a house for my daughter to have her own room and a yard to play!
PHOTOGRAPHER: RIANA MAJORAM
M&P|parents with pizzazz
h g n i S
A H S K A VIR
RAPID FIRE Your get-up-and-go song? Wake me up by Avicii. Your favourite dessert? Serradura (Portuguese dessert with condensed milk). Your most prized possession? My photo collections of my daughter. Your favourite getaway spot? Cape Town.
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23022017 15:45
M&P|real-life story
After doing some research, contacting people and finding options to consider, Meagan van der Merwe’s parents approached a company in the Free State to help them find a way to print a hand for their daughter
Hand
S
ix-year-old Meagan van der Merwe was born with a condition called symbrachydactyly, which resulted in her left hand not developing fully. She has movement in her wrist, but her fingers are tiny nubbins. While Meagan has managed to live a full and active life despite her challenges, her parents were eager to find a workable solution. Through their research they discovered that a moulded, immoveable prosthetic hand would cost in excess of R200 000 and would need to be replaced every 18 months as Meagan grows. A more functional model would cost even more. That’s when the family heard about 3D printing. “We saw interviews on Carte Blanche and Kyknet’s Kwêla about 3D printing, and we thought it would be great if we could give Meagan the opportunity to make things easier for her,” says Meagan’s mother, Michelle van der Merwe. “We started doing some research, contacting people and finding options to consider.” After encountering a few challenges, they eventually made contact with the Johannesburg-based company, Solid Edge Technology. “The whole team at Solid Edge Technology is awesome and really went out of their way to assist us,” says Michelle.
A NEW CHALLENGE FOR 3D PRINTING Printing a limb was a new challenge for the company, which has been involved with 3D printing in South Africa for the past 15 years. Jared de Waal, Business Development Manager at Solid Edge Technology, explains the process. “The first step for us was to find the right links to the files we would need to print a suitable hand for Meagan – fortunately, the 3D printing ecosystem makes many of its designs public. Once we downloaded the design files, Solid Edge with synchronous technology was able to convert these to a native format that we could use. Then, to ensure the hand we printed would be the right size for Meagan, we took a measurement across a section of her hand, which we applied to a calculation in order to scale the original file.”
3D printing technology is particularly relevant across Africa because of the low costs and short turnaround time involved, meaning that the technology could be a real solution for many.
SOURCE: WE-WORLDWIDE | IMAGES: MICHELLE VAN DER MERWE
A HELPING
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GROWING, ADAPTING AND LEARNING De Waal predicts that they will need to print a new hand every 18 months to accommodate for Meagan’s growth, as is the case with a standard prosthetic. “We have decided to take Meagan on as a lifetime case study, whereby we will replace the hand or its parts and customise as needed, while also using this as an opportunity to gain knowledge and experience around a very new and exciting element of 3D printing.” Part of the learning curve will be to observe how Meagan manages to use the existing design and then look at how to improve its functionality in the future. Solid Edge Technology has also given her parents the go-ahead to adapt and modify the hand to make it more comfortable as needed. Her mother explains, “We’ve adjusted the strings of the hand so that it grips better and we’ve replaced the Velcro strip with a bigger one to keep the hand more secure on Meagan’s arm. We also got her a leather sleeve to protect her arm from bruising.” Meagan is also still learning how to operate her new hand. “It is quite something for Meagan to get used to, taking into consideration that she has never been able to use her left hand. She has been adjusting to a new way of thinking and doing things now that she has the 3D printed hand,” comments Michelle. However, she is already enjoying the benefits of her new hand. For example, she is now able to hold the handlebars of her bicycle when she rides. “Meagan is a very confident and positive person, who can do anything from tying her shoe laces to using a pair of scissors, despite her disability. She has always participated in school plays and dancing groups, and enjoys playing sport,” her mother adds. “We just wanted to give her the option of making it even easier for herself, with a bit of assistance from the 3D printed hand when she wants it.” She adds that Meagan would like to start taking guitar lessons once she’s more comfortable with the hand.
M&P|real-life story
The company printed a prototype and invited Meagan and her family in to have it fitted and to test its functionality and comfort. Once they were satisfied, Meagan was able to choose her colours – she opted for pink and purple – and de Waal and his team printed and assembled the hand, made up of 12 unique parts and 31 individual 3D printed components, using a MakerBot 3D printer. The process, including printing and assembly, took roughly 24 hours, with a total cost of less than R1 000.
A REAL SOLUTION FOR REAL PEOPLE Having seen how this solution has positively impacted Meagan’s life in a short time, her parents and de Waal believe 3D printing technology could benefit others with similar disabilities. This is particularly relevant across Africa because of the low costs and short turnaround time involved, meaning that the technology could be a real solution for many. “A 3D printed limb has the potential to give people similar to Meagan the ability to do even more,” Michelle states. “At this point, it’s about learning how far we can push the hardware,” says de Waal. “This is not an industrial product we are printing but an external body part, so we need to make it as comfortable and functional as possible to fit into day-to-day life. It’s an exciting project to be involved in – using premium products and the latest technology, and working as a community with like-minded brands to make a real difference.”
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M&P|deconstruct to construct
FRIEND OR
? N E R D L I H C FOE OF OUR
I
am sure technology is a daunting concept for many parents, as it brings a new dynamic into households that are accustomed to a more traditional approach. There has been a reversal of roles in this era, where children are taking the lead and guiding their parents through the sea of unlimited information and opportunity. Suddenly, questions that were reserved for the wisdom of parents can quickly be accessed online and there is the danger that parents can be replaced. Or can they? I have realised that whenever my son asks me something, he has already researched the answer but uses me as a source of validation. I have always either told him the truth or asked him to give me a little time to get back to him when I need to confirm my facts first. This forthright approach has developed a trust between us and I am thankful that he uses me as a sounding board for the many things he learns in cyberspace. I have to admit that I am a bit of a techno geek. I love to have the latest and greatest gadgets and I enjoy the options that these bring. But at the same time I am fearful of how to best manage the wealth of information my children are exposed to. One of the biggest disadvantages of this era is the impact on social skills. Our generation still had to interact and build relationships on a physical level, but children today can spend their entire lives communicating and playing online. Their biggest fear is not that they can’t go outside and play with the neighbourhood kids, but that their gadget’s battery life will end or their data will run out! During the summer holidays, I had to constantly call my son to join his family and even remind him it was time to eat, such is the addictive
world of technology. I have heard scenarios of parents spending a fortune on data, as their children’s downloading activities go uncurbed and unnoticed (which is why I cap my son’s data at 250MB per month). This total immersion into the world of instant access, apps and chats has me worried that our children are not learning sufficient problemsolving skills for all areas of life, something that still requires the age-old use of brain matter. Recent research into the relationship between human memory and the exploitation of IT resources has revealed alarming insights. According to theafricareport.com, ‘The first and rather unsurprising result saw respondents seeking answers from the Internet as a reflex whenever they were asked questions they could not answer at the expense of books or written publications. While respondents failed to memorise information that remained easily accessible on their computers, they memorised the same information in cases where they believed it would be difficult to find later. A striking fact is that while the participants did not remember the information itself they did remember how they had found it.’ There is no denying the age of technology and information that is our children’s world, but rather than allow it to take over our role of teacher and parent in the home, we need to stand firm and believe that we still know what is best for them. Everything in moderation, and this is no different. We have to DeConstruct the attitude that technology is the enemy or too intimidating for us, and Construct an acceptance of the tides of change. Yes, it is possible to infuse the old with the new and create a balanced world for our children to grow up in.
IMAGE: PIXABAY
Fumani Shilubana tells parents why they need to come to terms with the changes that technology brings to their parenting style
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Zoleka Mandela says that ‘eye cancer’ is a term generally used to explain the numerous types of tumours that present themselves in various parts of the eye
T
M&P|cancer
Eye
CANCERS OF THE
his occurs when healthy cells in or around the eye modify and increase uncontrollably, causing a mass that we call a tumour. These can either be benign (will not spread) or cancerous or malignant, and will grow and spread to other parts of the body. Intraocular (inside the eye) malignancy forms within the eyeball. A number of intraocular cancers are identified, particularly: Uveal Metastases is the most common intraocular cancer and spreads to the uvea (a layer of tissue beneath the sclera, or white part of the eye) from another part of the body. Melanoma is the most common intraocular cancer in adults and begins when melanocytes (cells) grow frenziedly. Melanoma is also known as intraocular melanoma. Intraocular lymphoma is a rare condition that can be difficult to diagnose. It begins in the eyeball and is most often known as non-hodgkin’s lymphoma. Retinoblastoma is a rare form of childhood eye cancer that presents as a tumour in one eye.
IMAGE: PIXABAY
Hemangioma starts in the blood vessels and consists of a benign tumour of the choroid (pigmented vascular layer of the eyeball) and retina (the light-sensitive layer at the back of the eyeball that generates impulses sent through the optic nerve to the brain). There are three other rare eye cancers: conjunctival melanoma, eyelid carcinoma and lacrimal gland tumour. Conjuncival melanoma is a tumour of the conjunctiva, a membrane that lines the eyelid and eyeball, whereas eyelid carcinoma is a skin cancer of the actual eyelid. Lacrimal gland tumours are located in the glands that produce tears. Eye cancers do not continuously cause symptoms that are obvious. Considering the differences in the number of eye-related cancers, patients may experience some of the following common symptoms that may only be detected during a routine eye test:
B lurred vision Dark patch in the eye that gets bigger Pain in or around the eye (quite rare) Flashes of light, shadows or wiggly lines in one’s vision Bulging of one eye Lump on eyelid in the eye that is bigger in size Partial or total loss of vision.
This column is dedicated to the late Feziwe Radebe, the courageous cancer fighter who died in October 2008.
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M&P|family law
YOUR BODY
Your RIGHTS!
Advocate Veerash Srikison advises on our right to live a peaceful protected life as an integral part of being citizens of this country
APPLYING FOR A PROTECTION ORDER The abused person (victim) can apply for a Protection Order at a police station or Magistrates Court nearest to where she lives and it can be done at any time and on any day. There are two orders she would need to get by filling in different forms: The first order is an Interim Protection Order by completing a Form 6. Once the interim order is applied for, she must then complete a Form 2, which is the application for the Protection Order. In these forms she would need to provide an affidavit stating the facts of the abuse. Once the clerk of the court receives the
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forms, they will send it to the magistrate and a date is set for the victim to come to the court for the application to be considered. The magistrate will send out a notice to the alleged abuser informing them to come to the court on that same day. When they are at court, the magistrate will hear the facts and may grant the application. Once the Protection Order is granted – and even while the victim has the Interim Protection Order – she may call in the police service and letting them know that the abuser is in violation of either of the orders if she is threatened or harmed again by the abuser. WHEN IN DANGER Where the victim is unable to make an application and is in immediate danger and fears for her safety and that of her children, she must always have a safety plan ready. This plan means: Knowing places she can go to that are safe. Knowing a list of emergency numbers she can contact, especially if his/her mobile phone is not with her. Keeping an extra set of keys to her car and the house. Keeping a bag, that is easy to move quickly, packed with clothes for herself and her children along with money, credit cards, medical aid details and identity documents. She must leave the home or environment only when the abuser is not around and take her children with her. Importantly, she must not let the abuser know that she will be leaving or that she has made plans to leave. Once in a safe place, she can contact the police services and organisations such as Lifeline, FAMSA or POWA for assistance and go to Legal Aid clinics or law clinics found at universities for legal assistance. To preserve and stand up for the right to bodily integrity and dignity, we must show support for victims of violence and abuse and not use them as gossip fodder or targets of criticism. We need to protect these victims who are already using every bit of strength to make it through each day.
IMAGE: PIXABAY
B
odily integrity and dignity are human rights enjoyed by every individual in South Africa. Yet according to Statistics South Africa’s (StatsSA) National Victims of Crime Survey, SA has one of the highest incidences of domestic violence in the world. On average, approximately 450 people are victims of common assault every day. However, their research shows that it is particularly difficult to get reliable statistics on women abuse in this country because most female victims are reluctant to report any crime committed against them where they know or live with their abuser. In fact, StatsSA researchers believe that the number of victims who experience domestic violence could be on the increase, but these victims are actually fearful of reporting the abuse especially when they are dependant on their abuser. The Domestic Violence Act deals with this serious crime and offers protection to women and children who are victims of abuse or domestic violence. It includes all persons whether they are married or not. This Act provides procedures where any person can report their abuse or have someone do it on behalf of them, and make an application to the court for a Protection Order, also called a restraining order, which allows the court to stop any abuser from continuing the abuse.
Disclaimer: The contents of this article must not be construed as legal advice. Please seek the help of a professional for your particular circumstance.
2017/02/23 3:24 PM
THE CURIOUS HISTORY OF DATING
By Nichi Hodgson (Little Brown) R285
IMAGES: PUBLISHERS, ITUNES
A light-hearted, intimate but informative history of dating, from Jane Austen to Tinder. A book for anyone who’s ever dated or been wooed, successfully or otherwise – the young and lovestruck, the single and lovelorn, the older and love-worn, the simply curious and a beautiful hardback, to boot, for the amorous giftgiver. A brief and very readable but nevertheless informative history of dating that covers pretty much everything from the rules of Regency courtship – including the surprisingly early advent of personal ads, not touched on by Jane Austen – to swiping right. THE HAPPIEST KIDS IN THE WORLD Rina Mae Acosta & Michele Hutchison (Doubleday) R340 A recent UNICEF study of child wellbeing in the richest countries in the world found that Dutch children come out on top. Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison, both married to Dutchmen and bringing up their young families in Holland, examine the unique social environment and culture that they live in, to understand the special features that allow the Dutch to turn out such contented, well-adjusted and healthy kids. Is it that they go to school on bicycles, or that children are allowed the freedom to play outside without supervision? Does the fact that Dutch kids are seen and heard around the family breakfast table have anything to do with it – or is it that they eat chocolate sprinkles on buttered bread? In the spirit of French Children Don’t Throw Food and Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, this is a book to appeal to the same audience, frazzled mothers (and fathers) who want to look at how it’s done elsewhere, with practical tips they can apply to their own children – after all, who doesn’t want to raise a happy kid?
COOKING FEVER Free on iTunes and Google Play Store If you always wanted to open your own restaurant but don’t have the finances, Cooking Fever helps you live your dream in the virtual world. Once your restaurant is open, try your best to keep your customers happy by serving them their desired meals, desserts and drinks without letting them wait too long. Upgrade your kitchen appliances and work even harder to keep those tips coming.
M&P|reviews
BOOKS APPS
YOGA STUDIO iTunes (R59.99) And Google Play Store (R57.99) With everything that’s happening in your busy life, fitting a yoga class into your busy schedule may seem impossible. Bring the yoga to you with Yoga Studio; it is very informative, and let’s you download pre-made classes or create your own. Yogis can check out the poses catalogue to help refine certain positions. DISNEY JUNIOR APPISODES Free on iTunes And Google Play Store Let your preschoolers experience the magic of watching, playing, and interacting directly with their favourite Disney Junior TV shows in a whole new way on the Disney Junior Appisodes. They will touch, tap, swipe, tilt, shake, and talk their way through a fully immersive, interactive TV episode that reinforces developmental values. Included for free is the award-winning Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Road Rally Appisode, with the opportunity to purchase additional Appisodes within the app.
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M&P|exercise
6 EXERCISES TO AVOID
During pregnancy I
Yes, you should exercise during pregnancy, but for the next nine months there are some exercises that you should avoid
f you’re an exercise fanatic, pregnancy can feel like a huge roadblock in your path to fitness. However, there really is no need to stop exercising completely. In fact, working out while your body gradually expands to accommodate your growing baby can ease the discomfort that comes with pregnancy. Just stay away from vigorous exercises that will put you and your baby in harm’s way.
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SIT-UPS OR CRUNCHES are not a good option when your abdominal muscles are already stretched. CONTACT OR HIGH-IMPACT SPORTS can lead to trauma to the abdomen which can harm your baby or even lead to miscarriage. DEEP SQUATS During pregnancy, your body releases a hormone called relaxin that prepares your body for childbirth. Relaxin can cause certain exercises like squats to result in injuries and issues like backache.
WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU | IMAGE: SHUTTERSTOCK
BENEFITS OF EXERCISING DURING PREGNANCY Exercise is a good way to prepare your body for the rigours of pregnancy and childbirth, and some of the particular benefits include: 1. It keeps your weight in check You need to gain weight during your pregnancy, but if you were already carrying some extra weight when you conceived, working out will help you manage your pregnancy weight better. 2. It can reduce the risk of pregnancy-induced high blood pressure Experts believe that regular physical activity will strengthen your heart, which in turn allows your heart to pump blood with less effort. 3. It helps you sleep better Working out during pregnancy may help you to fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly.
LIFTING WEIGHTS is not a complete no-no during pregnancy, unless you have complications. However, it is important to discuss with your doctor how much weight you can lift before you start pumping iron! Warning: Lifting heavy weights can cause cardiovascular and musculoskeletal stress. OVER-HEAD SHOULDER PRESS This is a favourite for many, but you’ll have to give it up. These shoulder presses can add to the strain that a growing belly already exerts on your lower back. LYING FLAT ON YOUR BACK Lying on your back for any reason is not a good idea, especially after your first trimester, as this can lead to a condition called Supine Hypertensive Syndrome. Symptoms include dizziness and low blood pressure, so avoid exercises that require you to be supine.
If you’ve never exercised before your pregnancy, do not try anything strenuous after conception, as this can adversely affect your health, as well as that of your baby. Start off with gentle exercises like walking or aqua workouts that will help to burn calories and be light on your joints too.
M&P|exercise
6 EXERCISES YOU SHOULD AVOID DURING PREGNANCY: There are some exercises that do not go hand in hand with your pregnant body. See our list and start removing them from your routine:
OTHER ACTIVITIES TO AVOID Scuba diving can increase the risk of birth defects in your unborn child. Sport and physical activities that increase your risk of falling such as horseback riding, gymnastics and water skiing should also be avoided.
WHEN SHOULD YOU STOP EXERCISING? Make sure you have a good trainer to guide you at all times, and that you communicate your exercises to your doctor at every visit. If you experience any of the following symptoms, stop exercising and rest: Dizziness Headache Chest pain Rapid heartbeat Premature contractions Vaginal bleeding Lack of foetal movement If these symptoms continue even after you’ve rested, contact your doctor immediately. Diabetics or those prone to heart disease or asthma must seek medical advice before beginning any exercise routine during pregnancy.
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M&P|décor There’s no right way to create a meditation space, but there are items that will make the time spent there more powerful
PEACOCK SIDE TABLE, R2 495, WEYLANDTS.
ALUMINIUM POT WITH LID, R595, WEYLANDTS.
CERAMIC BURNER, R120, SELECTED SPAS/SALONS AND PHARMACIES NATIONWIDE AND SOIL.CO.ZA.
BRASS KATORI BOWL, R135 (S) OR R175 (L), WEYLANDTS.
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M&P|décor
HINTERVELD PURE LUXURY THROW IN WHITE NIGHT, R2 735, LINENDRAWER. CO.ZA.
HINTERVELD ATMOSPHERE THROW IN VAPOUR, R1 430, LINENDRAWER.CO.ZA.
EETRITE CAST IRON TEAPOT, R489, YUPPIECHEF.
MOSES PENDANT, R1 799.95, THE LIGHTING WAREHOUSE.
RITZ CHANDELIER, R24 995, WEYLANDTS.
EETRITE CAST IRON MORTAR AND PESTLE, R399, HOME ETC.
WEYLANDTS. WEYLANDTS.
IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS UNLESS OTHERWISE SPECIFIED.
MOROCCAN CARPET, R9 995, WEYLANDTS.
SPRITE LED LIGHT, R32 999.95, THE LIGHTING WAREHOUSE. SEA GRASS BIN, R225, WEYLANDTS.
SOY WAX MELTS, R40 EACH, SELECTED SPAS/ SALONS AND PHARMACIES NATIONWIDE AND SOIL.CO.ZA.
INFINITY PENDANT, R9 999.95, THE LIGHTING WAREHOUSE.
RUSTIC PLANTER, R85, WEYLANDTS. SCATTER CUSHION, R1 195, WEYLANDTS.
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M&P|recipes
SANDWICH FAVOURITES These toppings will soon become family lunch favourites SESAME SAUSAGE ROLL UP Makes 4 Ingredients 4 slices of SASKO Plus+ Soy and Linseed Bread 4 cheese griller sausages 40 ml Dijon mustard 30 g sesame seeds 100 g butter, melted Tomato chutney to serve Method Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius. In a frying pan, fry the cheese grillers until golden brown. Remove the crusts from the bread slices and roll them flat using a rolling pin. Brush the one side of the bread with mustard and roll around the sausage. Brush with melted butter. Sprinkle with sesame seeds. Bake in the oven until crisp and golden brown. To serve: Cut into thirds and serve with a tomato chutney.
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M&P|recipes BRIE, AVOCADO AND WALNUT OPEN SANDWICHES Makes 2 Ingredients 2 Slices SASKO Plus Cranberry Brown Bread Butter 125 g Brie cheese (at room temperature) 1 avocado 20 g walnuts, crushed 20 g rocket Salt and pepper Olive oil and balsamic reduction (if desired) Method Lightly toast the Cranberry Brown Bread slices before spreading each with a little butter. Top with slices of Brie cheese, followed by slices of avocado, a sprinkling of walnuts and a little rocket. Season with salt and pepper and, if you’re feeling decadent, a drizzle of olive oil and balsamic glaze.
PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA BEARS Makes 6 Ingredients 6 slices Sasko All in One White Bread Peanut butter 2 bananas, sliced 50 g blueberries Method Spread peanut butter in the shape of a bear face over each slice of bread. Use 2 slices of banana to make the ears and 1 slice of banana to make the muzzle. Use 2 blueberries to make the eyes and 1 for the nose.
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M&P|recipes
HAWAIIAN PIZZA ROLLS Makes 12 Ingredients 1 packet Sasko Plain Regular White Bread Buns 12 slices of Gouda/Cheddar Cheese (200 g) 50 g ham 440 g can pineapple rings Salt and pepper Method Preheat the grill in your oven. Cut each roll in half and place onto a large baking tray. Top each of the halves with a slice of cheese. For smiley-face pizza rolls: Cut the pineapple rings into halves for the smiles and the ham into triangles for the eyes. For the palm tree pizza rolls: Cut the pineapple rings into equalsized pieces for the branches and the ham into tree trunk shapes. Decorate as seen in the picture. Season with salt and pepper. Grill until the cheese has melted and the rolls are just beginning to brown. Serve immediately.
CHICKEN MAYONNAISE Makes 4
Method Shred the chicken and pop into a bowl with the mayonnaise and salt, mix well. Slice the gherkins. Spread a little butter onto each slice of bread. Lay four slices out and top with slices of gherkin and equal amounts of chicken mayonnaise, finish with lettuce leaves and the remaining slices of bread. Alternative: For a spicy version, add a dash of cayenne pepper to the mixture.
RECIPES AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY SASKO
Ingredients 8 slices Sasko Low GI Whole Wheat Brown Dumpy/Low GI Seeded Brown Bread Butter to spread 250 g to 300 g store-bought/leftover roast chicken, skin included 5 tbsp. mayonnaise 1 pinch salt 4 gherkins 1 head butter lettuce
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2017/02/23 5:33 PM
The GEMS ‘54 Baby Showers in 2016’ campaign ended with celebrations in Cape Town, Durban and Johannesburg on 29 October 2016, 26 November 2016 and 28 January 2017 respectively. Excited mommies in their third trimesters enjoyed a morning of light exercise, dancing and games.
Fever
Grand-prize winners walked away with a car seat, while other winners were given product hampers, as well a subscription to Mamas & Papas magazine. All mommiesto-be received sponsored goodie bags, as well as copies of Mamas & Papas and Essays Of Africa magazines.
M&P|baby shower
BABY PROTEA HOTEL SEA POINT
Cape Town Guest speaker:
Anelle Greyling, Lactation consultant from Panorama Breastfeeding Clinic, gave a presentation on the importance of breastfeeding.
MICHELLE SOLOMONS
MELISA BALIE
MOM GOING THROUGH GEMS BROCHURE
SMILE FOR THE CAMERA
WAITING WITH A WARM SMILE
TIME TO INSTAGRAM
FIROZA GAIDEN AND CORLIA VAN JAARSVELD
ANELLE GREYLING
EXERCISE TIME
GET MOVING!
ALL DRESSED UP
JOY AND LAUGHTER
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M&P|baby shower
How deep does your motherly love go? To get your own GEMS experience, register on GEMS maternity programme website. Register and join other moms.
DANCE COMPETITION WINNER
CAN’T WAIT TO MEET YOU
POSING IN FRONT OF GEMS TEARDROP BANNER
CHELINO GRAND-PRIZE WINNER
LET’S GET DOWN
PROTEA HOTEL O.R. TAMBO
Johannesburg Guest speakers:
Gynaecologist, Dr Mpume Zenda spoke on methods of birth and also answered several questions from the moms. Mogie Ariefdien from Bayport Financial Services spoke on budgeting and planning as an expectant mother.
THE CREW FROM KIDS EMPORIUM
SMILE AND POSE FOR THE CAMERA
JOY AND LAUGHTER ABOUND
GENUINE SMILES
CAUGHT WITH THAT AMAZING SMILE
WAITING TO GET STARTED
SHOWING OFF HER PHILIPS AVENT BREAST PUMP
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LISTENING ATTENTIVELY
GYNAECOLOGIST: DR MPUME ZENDA
BOTLE KAYAMBA: FITNESS EXPERT
PROTEA HOTEL EDWARD
Durban
Guest speaker:
M&P|baby shower
GYNAECOLOGIST: DR MPUME ZENDA
Marion Irvine, a midwife from Netcare Limited spoke about the importance of breastfeeding.
ZINHLE MBOKAZI AND CELESTINA GUNAMANLA
CARINA BLOM
NTOMBENHLE MWELASE, NOMSA MSLADLA AND NONDUMISO
MIDWIFE MARION IRVINE HAS A ONE-ON-ONE
Q&A SESSION
ZAMANGIDI VILAKAZI
MARION IRVINE AND ARUSHA RAMKISSON
SENAMILE MNGUNI
ZAMA SHEZI AND NONJABULO VUNDLA
NOMPUMELELO VILAKAZI, GRAND-PRIZE WINNER
MARION IRVINE
ZANELE NKALA
THE WINNERS OF THE BIGGEST BELLY COMPETITION, SILINDILE MNGUNI AND MELOSHNI GOVENDER
M&P and GEMS thanks their prize sponsors Chelino, Clicks, Philips AVENT, Bennetts, Johnson’s Baby and Protea Hotels for contributing to the success of the GEMS ‘54 Baby Showers in 2016’ initiative.
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M&P|motoring
THE
TIME AROUND
Most new cars lose around 40 percent of their value in the first year, so buying a used or pre-owned car can be a great way to cut your driving costs
L
ike with any big purchase, it is important to take your time rather than rush into any deal. As far as possible, buy with your head rather than your heart.
and online forums, and chat to friends with similar cars. Visit websites like Autotrader.co.za and Carfind.co.za to get an idea of car prices at certain ages and with different mileage.
1. Define your budget and needs Be realistic about what you can afford and stick to your budget. Consider any repairs you may have to do and the increase in fuel if it’s very different to what you currently drive. Think of your lifestyle and what you might need in terms of interior space, finishes, etc. If you are doing a trade-in, find out what your car’s trade-in value is and never accept the first price.
4. Research maintenance Ask around what a typical service will cost if the car is no longer under a motor plan. Consider your location and if you have easy access to service centres. For example, if you buy certain models you might only find their parts in cities that are inconvenient for you.
2. Keep your options open Draw up a shortlist of desired cars. Don’t set your heart on only one model – consider and test drive at least three options. 3. Do your homework If you are interested in a certain model of car, read up about it in car magazines
5. Visit reputable dealers If you want to buy a car from a dealer, make sure it’s an established one and not one down the road that may have only been in business for a year or two. With any future issues, you’ll have a better chance to have your car fixed at an established dealership. You will know that the car hasn’t been stolen and that you’ll have an up-to-date service history. 6. Drive a hard bargain Never just buy the first car you like.
Remember, everything is negotiable. If buying from a car dealer, negotiate to get them to include all on-the-road costs such as registration and delivery. 7. Ask the right questions If you are buying a car privately, your initial contact will most likely be by phone or email. Be sure to ask enough questions so that you don’t waste your time with a visit. 8. Be safe Play detective: if you are buying privately, ask where a seller works, Google them and see what you can find. Once you are ready to meet, be sure to take someone with you and tell someone where you are going. A safe place is outside a police station, or at your place of work. Ask the person to bring along their ID. 9. Voetstoots – buyer beware There is nothing wrong with buying a car voetstoots (as is), but make sure that you have all relevant information. Check that the service manual is up to date and call
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M&P|motoring WORDS: MELISSA JANE COOK. IMAGES: HONDA.COM. VOLKSWAGEN.COM. MAZDA.COM
the last service centre used to check if the service actually happened. Although the Consumer Protection Act dictates that sellers must disclose all defects, in practice it can be a real pain to get your money back.
10. Have the car independently inspected There are various AA Dekra tests that can be done on a vehicle. The Roadworthy Test must be conducted every time a vehicle changes ownership, ensuring that it
meets the safety standards defined by the SABS. For extra piece of mind, you could also have the Multi-point Check, Technical Inspection or Safety Check performed. For a few hundred rand you could be saving yourself thousands in the future.
3 TOP SEDANS ON THE MARKET The ingredients for a family sedan haven’t changed in decades: a good combination of parts utility, convenience, and economy.
2016 Honda Civic The 2016 Honda Civic compact sedan has long been one of the most popular entrylevel cars on the market, and Honda expects its fresh redesign to hold the course. Sporty suspension components, aerodynamic improvements and a boyracer interior treatment help to round out the sedan’s most appealing features.
2016 Volkswagen GLI The 2016 Volkswagen GLI represents the most fun-to-drive member of the compact Jetta sedan family and features a chassis designed to offer a more responsive ride than that of the standard Jetta (thanks in part to a multi-link rear suspension system). It also comes with sport seats and a turbocharged, 2.0-litre 4-cylinder engine.
2016 Mazda 3 Offering an engaging driving experience, the 2016 Mazda 3 is available in fourdoor sedan and hatchback body styles. The interior of the 2016 Mazda 3 is one of the best in its class. Certain features, like a head-up display, adaptive headlights and adaptive cruise control, are simply not offered in many of its competitors.
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M&P|travel
Mini Travel Gabriella Brondani-Rego suggests a few easy-to-reach destinations that will also provide the most incredible holiday experience for a trip with the family or your significant other in the coming months
S
outh Africans are no strangers to the concept of 15 extra days annually, where they can put up their feet and relax. With so many public holidays available, the chance of a long weekend or combining a few leave days provide the opportunity to enjoy a rather lengthy break from reality. Many South Africans actively book these periods off in their annual calendars, but may not embrace the
opportunity to maximise the days off and escape to an exotic destination. Most people do not realise how easy it is to book a flight, pack a bag and arrive in a new country with no visa hassles at a moment’s notice. With the advances in technology, modern aeroplanes can transport a person almost halfway around the world in under a day. Bearing that fact in mind, combining efficient air travel with luxury resorts means that you can escape the stress of modern day life in no time at all.
THAILAND If you’re able to secure a longer patch of leave and don’t mind travelling a bit further, Thailand is still an easy-toaccess destination. With the ability to get a visa on arrival, the ease of access to this southeast Asian country makes it an attractive travel destination. Thailand has long been a firm holiday favourite for South Africans of all ages – be it couples or families – with its popularity having increased significantly over the past few years. The island has much to offer the visitor, from
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M&P|travel the beaches and the nightlife to the affordability aspect. The Gulf of Thailand and the Andaman Sea both offer the option to hop around to some spectacular islands, and since there are regular ferries operating every day, it is a very appealing and affordable option for the economical traveller and backpacker. The Gulf of Thailand: A rather large gulf comprising of many islands (bordering the South of Thailand), the three main islands that feature on most tourist’s must-visit destinations are Koh Samui, Koh Tao and Koh Pha Ngan. (The word ‘koh’ translates into ‘island’ and in this context it introduces the name of each island in the gulf). The Andaman Sea: Located on the west side of Thailand, the main tourist destinations include Phuket, Koh Phi Phi, and Krabi. Technically only two of those are islands, as Krabi is part of the mainland, but Krabi is a good place to visit nonetheless owing to the incredible Tonsai Beach, and limestone rocks for those wanting to try out some rock climbing.
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rain. The more moderate temperatures of 28 to 30 degrees Celsius during the day, combined with a breeze, makes for a more pleasant environment for the mini traveller. Most families fly into the capital Malé and then catch resort transport – either a boat or seaplane. Flying Emirates from Johannesburg to Malé is an easy, pleasant 14-hour flight including one stopover in Dubai, where kids and parents can stretch their legs. Until about 10 years ago, few resorts catered for children by way of providing babysitting facilities and childdedicated activities, but the times
have changed. From 2016, visitors to Club Med Kani have enjoyed activities designed especially for children aged 4 to 10 and 11 to 17. At Club Med’s Finolhu resort, kids from the age of 12 are welcome and can enjoy the kids’ facilities at their Kani resort just five minutes from Finolhu. With your little treasures in good hands, you’ll be able to enjoy various activities ranging from kayaking, paddle boarding, snorkelling to sailing and more that Club Med and the Maldives has to offer. Visit clubmed. co.za for more about their childfriendly destinations.
IMAGES SUPPLIED BY CLUB MED
M&P|travel MALDIVES Perhaps best known for its idyllic white beaches and crystal-clear turquoise sea, the Republic of the Maldives is situated in the Indian Ocean. This heavenly holiday destination, long-thought of as the preserve of honeymooners or rich couples, is actively wooing families with young children and contributing to the burgeoning kids-focused travel industry. The tropical climate means year-round warm temperatures and summer coincides with the start of the low or wet season (the South-West Monsoon typically occurs from May to September), which can mean cloudier skies, more wind and the chance of
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2017/02/23 12:45 PM
M&P|stockist list
ESSAYS A WOMAN’S JOURNEY
OF AFRICA
SUBSCRIBE and save!
MARCH 2017 STOCKISTS LIST ON THE COVER Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp PHOTOGRAPHER Cover: Gareth Jacobs 082 424 1188 garethjacobs.com ELANA STYLED BY Tumi M & Donatella Pia MAKEUP Taryn Kemp DRESSED BY Amanda Laird Cherry at The Space Colleen Eitzen at The Space DVF at Callaghan Collezioni Lamoda – 013 752 5044 Mimco.com.au Witchery.com.au FASHION Accessorize.co.za Aldoshoes.co.za Callaghan.co.za Countryroad.com.au H&M – 011 592 3200 Pretty Ballerinas – 011 325 5411 Ted Baker – 011 450 1156 Thespace.co.za Zando.co.za
TERMS & CONDITIONS
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R15 per issue! To subscribe, visit www.essaysofafrica.com
EOA terms and conditions apply. See www.essaysofafrica.com.
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Mamas & Papas standard terms and conditions for competitions, giveaways and promotions 1) Entries are open to South African citizens aged 18 and over only, residing in South Africa (proof of identity may be requested). 2) Competitions, promotions and giveaways are not open to employees of Kwenta Media, their immediate families and agencies. 3) Only one entry is allowed per person, household or immediate family members; no bulk or third party entries. 4) No responsibility is taken for entries lost, delayed, misdirected or incomplete due to server functions, virus, bugs or any other causes outside Kwenta Media’s control. Proof of entry is not proof of receipt. 5) Prizes are not transferable and cannot be exchanged for cash. 6) All prize values are correct at the time of publication. 7) Kwenta Media and promoters retain the right to substitute the prize with another suitable prize in the event that the original prize offered is not available due to circumstances beyond their reasonable control. 8) The winner will be notified by telephone or email. 9) Winners must be willing to be photographed for possible publication in Mamas & Papas free of any fee. In the event of non-acceptance, Mamas & Papas will re-draw and select a new winner. 10) The promoter’s decision is final, and no correspondence will be entered into. 11) Mamas & Papas, its employees, directors, representatives or agents will not be liable for any loss or damages incurred or loss of whatsoever nature however arising. 12) Allow 60-90 days for prize delivery. 13) Winners are not eligible for another prize for 30 days after the previous win.
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FCB CAPE TOWN 10010442CT/E
Because no more bites means peaceful nights. That’s why Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s Insect Repellent for Babies is specially formulated to be gentle and safe for delicate skin. We’re with you and your little one on every step of his journey, so that he can grow up and reach for the stars. Suitable for babies from 6 months Gentle and safe – DEET free Protects against mosquitoes, flies, fleas and ticks Non-fragranced Consultant Dermatologist and Paediatrician approved
Nutrition Health Care Mother
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