HECK-CAT AND CERBY an original screenplay by Kera Hildebrandt
kerahildebrandt@yahoo.com
EXT. UNDERWORLD SUBURB - DAY An underworld version of a suburb. Skeletal residents. Houses somewhat like crypts. Everyone drives a hearse of some sort. Kids ride on gravestone skateboards. The sky is psychedelic with reds, violets, and teals... Out into one of the backyards comes HECK-CAT, a feline with fire-like fur. In his mouth is a MOUSE TOY he is never seen without. Heck-Cat leaps onto the backyard's fence and looks down to see THREE OTHER HECK-CATS playing; one short and squat, another tall and lean, and the other big and tough. HeckCat jumps down and walks over to them... The three freeze and glare at him when he's a foot away, making Heck-Cat very nervous. The trio's irritated stare sends ultimately sends an embaressed Heck-Cat back into the back yard. Heck-Cat looks through a hole in the fence and sees his wouldbe playmates mocking him and laughing. Heart hurt, Heck-Cat sulks back towards the house. INT. HOUSE, BACK SITTING ROOM. - DAY A sitting room with a window looking out into the back yard. Looking through the window and sitting on a nearby couch is SKULL-GIRL, Heck-Cat's artsy skeletal owner. She's disheartened by her pet's misery. Heck-Cat enters through a cat door and takes his place by his owner, who lovingly pets him as he looks outside and forlornly watches the other cats play. INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY Heck-Cat is playing with his mouse toy, the fact he's alone clearly not making this fun. Skull-Girl, at a nearby computer desk, takes another look at this, thinks to herself, and starts searching intently online for something. Heck-Cat, taking curious notice at this, leaps onto the desk and is surprised to see Skull-Girl on a pet ordering site. He turns to her and, upon seeing her smile and shrug, becomes happy. Both turn back to the computer and continue. Pop-up ads are crazy on this site, more appearing with every little click Skull-Girl makes. Eventually she digs through ads to a question (that's surrounded by ads) that appears to say "Which pet type do you want?" The two options are "Cat" and "Dog," Skull-Girl choosing the former. Under delivery options, Skull-Girl clicks "Express Delivery."
2. The doorbell rings. look at each other.
Skull-Girl and Heck-Cat, surprised,
Skull-Girl opens the door and sure enough, a PET DELIVERY GUY is on the other side. He gives her a clip board to sign with one hand, and, after she signs her name, gives her a pet carrier with the other. Heck-Cat, sitting some feet away, is ecstatic. Skull-Girl places the pet carrier in Heck-Cat's direction and opens it. Heck-Cat runs for it, ready and raring to play with his new friend... Until a puppy's bark shatters through the darkness of the pet carrier. Heck-Cat skids to a stop two feet from the pet carrier, confused at what just happened. After some hesitation, HeckCat creeps closer to the carrier... Out of the shadows pops CERBY'S MIDDLE HEAD. A happy pup that's even happier to see Heck-Cat, the head barks, making Heck-Cat leap back in shock. After a few moments, CERBY'S LEFT HEAD emerges from the darkness, horrifying Heck-Cat. Moments later, CERBY'S RIGHT HEAD emerges, horrifying HeckCat even more. A dog-shaped chew toy falls over from the darkness, its head appearing to be another Cerby head. Heck-Cat's yet even more horrified. Cerby picks up the toy, revealing it to be a toy, much to Heck-Cat's relief. CERBY, revealing his nature as a blue cerberus puppy, runs out of the shadows and begins running out of the room, excited and exploring. Heck-Cat looks up to his owner in confusion. Herself confused and Heck-Cat by her side, Skull-Girl goes back to her computer and sees that she did indeed check the "Cat" option... Until she moves a pop-up ad window and discovers that the actual question was "Which pet type do you not want?" HeckCat,dumbfounded by the wording of the question, looks to his equally-dumbfounded owner. Heck-Cat gestures to the "Return pet option." about to click it...
Skull-Girl is
Until she sees Cerby bringing out his toys and bedding from the carrier, happily making himself at home. Skull-Girl, conflicted, tries to press the button, but finds that she can't do it. She closes the web page, much to Heck-Cat's shock. She looks to Heck-Cat and shrugs.
3. Heck-Cat slumps over in misery. Cerby runs up to Skull-Girl and sits. She starts petting the puppy, who loves it more and more with every second. Heck-Cat sighs. MONTAGE -Heck-Cat is peacefully eating some food. Then Cerby's sloppy eating is heard two feet away. Heck-Cat disdainfully ignores the three-headed pup...until the dogs' bowl, having been moved by the voracious eater, bumps into Heck-Cat's. -Cerby's looking out the front window and barking at something. Heck-Cat is sitting on the couch, trying sleep and very irritated. Late morning. -Heck-Cat is trying to walk through a room, only to have Cerby constantly jump around him in "play with me" stance. Heck-Cat tries to ignore the pup and enters a room, closing the door behind him. There's a "thud!" Attention piqued, Heck-Cat pushes the door open. Cerby is only dazed for a few moments before it shakes its head/body and goes back into play mode. -Back to the window. Cerby's still barking. Heck-Cat is some feet away from where he was, very irritated. Afternoon. -Heck-Cat is trying to get out through the back door, but Cerby is continuously running in and out of it. -We're at the window again. Evening. Heck-Cat's in the other room.
Cerby is still barking.
-Heck-Cat is peacefully playing with his mouse toy...only to be interrupted by Cerby, who is whipping around/fight playing/tug-of-warring with a rope toy. Terrified, Heck-Cat and his mouse toy take cover from the puppies under a table, looking nervously as the dogs wreak havoc with its playtime. -It's night. Heck-Cat, very tired and irritated, is still trying to sleep in the room he moved to. Cerby's barking eventually quiets down and stops. Heck-Cat looks out and see that Cerby is going to bed. Heck-Cat goes out to the living room and gets ready to sleep on the couch. However, Cerby, much to Heck-Cat's shock and exhaustion, starts barking in their sleep. Tired anyway, Heck-Cat falls asleep. END MONTAGE INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - MORNING Right where Heck-Cat was sleeping at the end of the montage. Heck-Cat stiffly wakes up, not sleeping at all well. He looks around and sees that Cerby is gone.
4. He sighs and tries to get some sleep, reaching for his toy... But to his confusion, the toy isn't there. Confusion turns to shock and worry as Heck-Cat wakes up and sees that his toy is gone! Heck-Cat searches around the couch like crazy, panicking more with every second... Then he sees Cerby run out into a nearby hallway playing with his mouse toy. Heck-Cat sits in shock at the blasphemy that is his precious toy being played with by someone else. Cerby isn't kind to the toy; they bite it, toss it into the air, pull on it between the three of them... Rip!
Heck-Cat's eyes go as wide as they can.
Sure enough, Cerby has Heck-Cat and, thinking runs over to the fiery Cat gets more furious,
torn the toy into three. Cerby sees that he/they did nothing wrong, happily feline. As Cerby gets closer, Heckuntil...
Heck-Cat swats Cerby's middle head when close enough, stopping the pup in its tracks. As the seconds crawl by, Heck-Cat realizes that he hurt the puppy. Cerby's middle head stares blankly in shock, not comprehending what happened, as the other two heads look/nudge it in concern. Cerby's middle head gradually comes to grips with what just happened and is plenty sad about it. Cerby retreats to his bed, the two heads tending to the middle. Heck-Cat, guilty, approaches the pup. The middle head's frightened, the right head tries to hide the middle head, and the left head growls. Heck-Cat shamefully leaves the room, heading for the backyard. EXT. HOUSE, BACKYARD - DAY Heck-Cat walks out and sits, sighing as he looks back towards the house. Lost in thought, he jumps onto/down the fence... And lands right on top of the leader of the three bully cats from the beginning. They aren't too happy about this... INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY Cerby walks up to the destroyed mouse toy and tries to nudge it back together. Suddenly, their ears perk as they hear Heck-Cat's plight outside.
5. EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY The angry three cats are closing in on Heck-Cat, who can only sink against the fence and wait for the pain to come... Then, Cerby is heard barking to the side. All cats look over to see one of Cerby's heads sticking out of one of three holes in the fence, growling. The three bullies are amused by this pup, the leader going up to the head. Even in the face of this big, scary cat, the little pup doesn't lose his cool... The leader swipes, but the head goes into the hole and the cat misses. Suddenly, another head pops out of another hole with a fierce bark. The leader swipes and misses again. Another head pops out from a hole by the cat's back and licks the leader, startling and causing him to turn. This allows another head to pop out and nip at the leader. What follows is a confusing game of whack-a-mole, Cerby's heads popping out and confusing/unnerving the leader cat, his mooks becoming confused/scared themselves. To further confuse the bullies, sometimes multiple Cerby heads pop out through the holes. Then, calm and quiet. Cerby's not doing anything. ponders if the ordeal is over...
The leader
All three Cerby heads dart through the holes, barking and sending the leader running scared. His mooks follow. Heck-Cat, surprised, looks over to Cerby, who's back to being his happy self. EXT. HOUSE, BACKYARD - DAY Heck-Cat enters the backyard and slowly makes his way to the pup. Cerby, wanting to replace the mouse, offers Heck-Cat one of their big, stuffed toys. Heck-Cat looks at the gesture and ponders what to make of it, while Cerby sweetly and quietly beckons for peace... Heck-Cat sighs, walks up to the pup, and, after a few moments, rubs its head against the dog. Cerby is thrilled and runs around the backyard, Heck-Cat rolling his eyes and dragging his new toy back into the house.
6. Cerby helps the cat with the toy, showering Heck-Cat with affection. THE END