VIDEO GAME SKETCH: "Horror Mascot Orientation" an original screenplay by Kera Hildebrandt
Kera Hildebrandt kerahildebrandt@yahoo.com kerahildebrandt.virb.com
INT. ORIENTATION ROOM - DAY Standard white collar meeting room. The door is open. A projection screen is pulled down, a powerpoint slide on it reading "Welcome New Indie Horror Mascots!" In front of the screen is SLENDERMAN, who is manning a nearby LAPTOP. At the board table is the NEIGHBOR (from Hello Neighbor), BENDY (from Bendy and the Ink Machine), and TATTLETAIL (from Tattletail). SLENDERMAN Welcome to orientation. Before you get started on your exciting journey as the new faces of indie horror, we wanted to make sure you hit the ground running. Slenderman hits a button on the laptop. "Preserving Your Hearing."
The slide reads:
SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Now, let's just get this one out of the way. Earplugs. Yes, they aren't cool, but the screaming really wears down on you. The Neighbor is surprised by this comment. NEIGHBOR Why would we want to block out the screams of our victims? It's what we're here for! Bendy and Tattletail nod and MUTTER IN AGREEMENT. shakes his head, his expression a little weary.
Slenderman
SLENDERMAN No, I'm talking about the screaming from the Let's Players. The three newbies are confused. BENDY The what now? SLENDERMAN Let's Players. They play video games on Youtube and stuff. Sounds like this. Slenderman hits a key on his keyboard. The SOUND OF GROWN MEN SHRIEKING LIKE CHILDREN tears through the air, scaring the horror newbies. It stops after a few moments.
2. Bendy, ever childlike, is surprised by this. BENDY Parents are letting their young children play our games? Slenderman shakes his head. SLENDERMAN No man, those are grown-ass men. The three newbies are surprised. What?!
NEIGHBOR Those are adults?!
Slenderman shrugs. SLENDERMAN Well, yeah, but honestly, they're usually harmless. At least until some sex scandal or something rolls around. Slenderman hits a button on the laptop. presents itself: "Your Fans and You."
The next slide
SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Video game fans can be the absolute worst. Surprisingly, even more than anime and Walking Dead fans. Bendy's surprised. BENDY What? But why would our fans be terrible? They like us! SLENDERMAN Oh yeah, they do like us. Slenderman moves to another slide. It's a picture of impressive cosplayers as a set of characters. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Enough to make great cosplay. Another slide. Another set of cosplayers are the same characters, but have filthy outfits, sport inappropriate body hair, and look gross. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Enough to make bad cosplay.
3. Next slide. Creepy guy is following a young woman in a crowded street, the young woman glancing over her shoulder in fear. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Enough to stalk game developers, voice actors, and so on. Next slide. A smug guy is standing in front of a dry erase board with notes on it. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Enough to make boatloads of oftenpoorly thought-out theories. Next slide. Same guy and board, but there's a crazy, pissedoff game fan holding the scared theorist by his shirt. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Enough to rage out about said theory. Next slide. Similar poses, but the slide's crazy fan has a Death Battle knock-off duo in their grasp. It's shown that Superman has defeated Goku in a fake battle. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Enough to endlessly cry and argue the viability of an imaginary fight between two made-up characters. Slenderman turns to his bewildered students. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Honestly, the list goes on. But it's nowhere near as bad asSlenderman hits the laptop's button. Porn Made of You."
Next slide: "All the
NEIGHBOR "All The Por-?" The Neighbor and his two comrades widen their eyes at the rest of the sentence. NEIGHBOR (CONT'D) You're kidding! Slenderman looks at the slide as if it's an old, irritating enemy. SLENDERMAN No, and I have the restraining orders to prove it.
4. NEIGHBOR But who would want to make porn of me?! I'm possibly a serial killer or something! SLENDERMAN And I'm a faceless monstrosity with tentacles and a need to creep on people. Trust me, the internet's body is ready. Slenderman turns to Bendy, showing sympathetic dread upon seeing the living toon. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Gah, and this poor kid... BENDY Bendy. Slenderman slowly shakes his head in pity. SLENDERMAN A name that will launch a thousand poorly-titled fan fics alone. Slenderman turns to Tattletail, pity for the critter and loathing for his fate in his voice and expression. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) And oh god. This one's practically an irresistible sex magnet. Tattletail stares back in childlike shock, confusion, and horror. NEIGHBOR This is ridiculous! We're horror mascots! Slenderman SCOFFS. SLENDERMAN Tell that to Freddy Fazbear. FREDDY FAZBEAR walks past the open door. the mechanical bear and turns to him. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Hey, Freddy! Freddy stops and looks into the room. SLENDERMAN (CONT'D) Tell them about DeviantArt.
Slenderman notices
5. Utter horror explodes onto Freddy's face, reducing him into a jittering, MUTTERING mess as he shuffles away. BENDY Huh, he reminds me of my friend Boris. Slenderman treats Bendy's comment with wryness and dread. SLENDERMAN Uh-huh, and do you see Boris as being a top or a bottom when you're inevitably shipped? The Neighbor is shocked, but Bendy and Tattletail don't get what "shipped" means. BENDY Ships? Like we're playing pirates or something? With AN EXASPERATED SIGH, the Neighbor goes into his pockets. NEIGHBOR Okay, it can't be that bad. The Neighbor pulls out a SMARTPHONE and begins looking on it. Bendy and Tattletail look at the phone as the Neighbor searches on it. NEIGHBOR (CONT'D) I'll just go onto this Deviant site thing andFreddy busts through the wall like some sort of crazed KoolAid man, horrified and desperate. FREDDY Noooo! Freddy runs over to the Neighbor, takes the phone, and devours it madly. NEIGHBOR Hey! Freddy, chips of smartphone spraying from his mouth when he speaks, grabs the unnerved Neighbor by the shoulders and shakes him with every tense, dramatic sentence he says. FREDDY I saved you, friend. The Pandora's box in your hands contained far, far worse than strife and disease. Sleepless nights. (MORE)
6. FREDDY (CONT'D) Poorly-spelled comments. Awkward moments when you can't look a bandmate in the eye, because mere moments before, you saw a drawing of them doing you in the ass. Freddy gets close to a scared Neighbor's face, those around them also disturbed. FREDDY (CONT'D) Can you imagine it friend? Can you keep your sanity in tact seeing what cannot be unseen until death mercifully takes you? Freddy backs up, CREEPY LAUGHTER escaping through his demented smile. FREDDY (CONT'D) You can't, friend. You can't. Freddy, twitching, walks out of the room and down the hall. His QUIET, MAD LAUGHTER gradually devolves into PITIFUL SOBBING as this happens. The four horror characters left in the room stare on, traumatized into silence. INT. BAR - NIGHT A bar for video game characters. A still-traumatized Neighbor, Bendy, and Tattletail sit at the counter, staring into space and sharing a silence. (I'm thinking the Neighbor has a mug of beer, Bendy has a blood red or inky black daiquiri or milk shake thing, and Tattletail has a plastic, toy-like sippy cup.) The Neighbor comes down from his trauma high and breaks the silence with a SIGH. NEIGHBOR Y'know, maybe it won't be that bad. The two others look at him, curious. NEIGHBOR (CONT'D) The bear was probably overreacting. Bendy and Tattletail consider the Neighbor's words, accepting them with an assured smile. BENDY Yeah, he did seem like a drama queen.
7. The Neighbor raises his mug to his lips. NEIGHBOR Yeah, there's no way there's that much porn of video game characters out there. DEEP, STONER-ISH LAUGHER is heard to the side, halting the Neighbor's movements. The trio turns to see SANS (Undertale), SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, and GARDEVOIR (PokĂŠmon) are seen to the side of them. They raise their glasses in dismay. SANS Oh to be that blissfully ignorant. The horror trio turns to the bar and sees the entire bar raise their glasses. The Neighbor SIGHS, Bendy is sad, and Tattletail saysTATTLETAIL Aw, fuck... THE END