FoMO [ Fear of Missing Out] by Lauren Ludlow

FoMO [ Fear of Missing Out ]

FoMO Magazine Issue One

What is FoMO? FoMO stands for Fear of Missing Out. By dictionary definition it is the ‘anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media’.

As young people, growing up and being surrounded by powerful tools, such as the internet, it’s not hard to see how these tools can quickly take charge of our lives, lead us to bad decisions and loss of control. As a young person, it is easier to be swept along by all the interesting photographs and over the top statuses and its understandable that most young people want to be a part of this virtual world. But are we really seeing the effects this virtual world does to the people that are using it on a daily basis. If we take a step back and look at the bigger picture, the invention of social media, e.i Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, it’s purpose of connecting people all over the world has been served and it’s almost impossible to think that these media platforms were designed for anything other than connecting people, but are these connections having dire effects on the people that use them?

What is FoMO?

It has been found that people under the age of thirty are most likely to experience FoMO. This is because there are a much larger percentage of people this age that are in constant contact with social media and use it on a daily basis. However the constant need to check your Facebook status or spy on peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s profiles has begun to overwhelm a large population of the world and is leading to the elevation of negative social and emotional states, such as boredom and loneliness, probably feelings that generations before us would not have experienced as often. The question is, are we suffering from FoMO?

What is FoMO?

Using Social Media

Why do we insist on social media using up a large proportion of our time and energy? Do we really gain that much from using it or has it become a necessity, to update others with things in our lives and to look at what other people are doing with theirs. Many studies have been carried out on the effects that social media have on people but unless you read scientific studies, this kind of information is no handed out to the general public. It is up to us to stay informed on its effects, how it is impacting our friends and family, ourselves and what signs to look for when someone becomes overly interested in their social media status. Many of us use social media to stay in touch with people we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see on a regular basis. It is a great way of catching up with friends for a quick chat about how your week has been but social media is used for more sinister reasons then people want to believe.

For example, have you ever read a status on Facebook from someone you arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t too fond of only to find yourself ten minutes later scrolling through their profile and trying o decipher their entire lives during your coffee break at work? This happens to a lot of us and has become something that is the social norm, nothing is private anymore and that can be dangerous. Social media has many negative impacts on people and regular use can lead to an increase in anxiety, isolation and even depression. Many people are losing sleep from over stimulation of the brain and the inability to switch off from the virtual world.Not to mention the constant upkeep of the perfect Facebook life, people posting images expensive holidays, fine dining and elaborate shopping sprees that for the best part are hard to keep up with and really whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life is actually like that. We are a world full of misrepresentation of self and often who we are on our profile is an over dramatized version of who we actually are.

Why do we insist on using social media?

Who are we trying to fool, our viewers or ourselves? It has come to question that we now can only validate ourselves based on our online profiles and how many friends we have, something we never had to do before, something that we shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to do, since our online friends donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t necessarily make them friends in real life.

Using Social Media

Social Media and Youth

Although social media is open to all ages, a large proportion of social media users are actually the youngest. Ranging between thirteen and nineteen, teenagers are most likely to be affected by what they see online. Over analysing the images young people see online can lead to them comparing their lives with others and often causes people to use other people posts as a way of measuring success and failures. This thought process can lead to feelings of low self esteem and inadequacy. Low self-esteem is a problem in itself, but what about the blatant body dysmorphia that is taking over the minds of many young boys and girls

What is social media doing to our youth?

All over the Internet we see images of what the perfect body is and what body image everyone should try to aim for. For some this pressure is too much and there is a risk that any one person could fall either way. Whilst some teens do everything possible to tailor their lifestyles to meet these extreme goals, other fall by the wayside and the effects are devastating. There ends up being and increase in the number of teenagers ending up in hospital because they are forcing themselves to starve, others eat too much for feeling so bad at what they see online and some unfortunate people take their own lives due to feeling like media sets such unreachable body standards. This is an issue that can no longer be ignored. We are putting our lives in danger by being sucked up into the world of online perfection.

Because of this push for body perfection, new websites are entering the internet everyday, persuading young boys and girls to starve themselves and exercise to excess in order the achieve the smallest body possible. These websites are not being monitored or even shut down and young people are requesting help from other followers to stop eating and push their bodies to limits that its cant withstand. Not only this but forcing young people to desire a body image where bones are pertruding and body structures become weak. We should be encouraging the younger generations to take care of their bodies and enjoy their lives, instead we are feeding them images of depraived bodies and unreasonable body standards.

Social Media and Youth

Media Interview

I really hate it, but I need it!

From a personal point of view, FoMO is real and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happening right now. I too experience FoMO, almost everytime I visit social media websites, the worst being Facebook. As a teenager, I was desperate for my parents to let me join Facebook. At the ripe old age of thirteen, I signed into Facebook for the first time, and too be honest, the friend requests from people at school rolled in quickly and I began counting how many friends I had. In the beginning it was a real confidence booster, the more I updated my status, the more people liked it and the more friend requests I was sent. I never really saw it that my friends online were not my friends in real life.

This never bothered me until I left school and stared college. Here is where I realised I had forgotten how to make friends in the real world and struggled to interact with new people. Slowly the friend requests came to a stop and I was feeling down about not having any friends. I was no longer catching up with people outside of school, heading to the local parks and messing around with mates, I was now glued to my computer screen and was checking up on everyone I went to school with. My life had become a virtual life.

As my confidence became less, I spiralled into unhappiness and was starting to cut off the people I was actually friends with, due to my obsession to have as many friends as I could on Facebook. At its peak I had almost 400 friends and from that 400 I probably spoke to only 10 on a regular basis. I decided enough was enough. I removed over 300 people from my Facebook page and stuck to only those whom I was friends with and those I was casually see around college. It was the best decision I could have made. I found myself feeling happier and not having to worry about how many friends I had and how my likes my status would get because I knew that people who I regarded as friends would be the only ones to read it. As I left college and began my Fashion degree, I entered another virtual world that required me to be ahead of technology, up to date on trends and in touch with an overwhelming number of new people. But this time I was prepared and I decided I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t going to liet the same thing happen again. Facebook used to be a place I would feel left out of, yet constantly being a part of and at University it gave me to opportunity to publish projects and get great responses and feedback from my peers, it has taught me that social media, if used in the correct way, can actually be used as a positive and inspiring tool. Media Interview

Media Interview

I hated it, so I deleted it!

What made you decide you wanted a social media platform? “I think initially it was to keep in contact with people I didn’t have the opportunity to see, like those that have moved far away or people that I have worked with that have moved on. I think then it became a platform for people to post negative, spiteful and unkind things to one another, I just felt like I didn’t want to be part of that. I didn’t want to be part of people attacking others because I feel it’s not right.” Did reading negative things on Facebook have an impact on how you felt about things? I think that if you aren’t careful you can allow yourself to be swept along with it, not that I ever to part in openly critising or being unkind to somebody, if you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.

I certainly wouldn’t put anything unkind on a social media platform; it would be my own opinion, kept inside my own four walls. I think actually there became an incessant need to keep checking it, which is ridiculous, and you get swept along with the negativity of other peoples lives. The flip side to that where people try to portray themselves as something other than they are, like being popular and having popular friends, constantly being out and partying, things like that. I viewed it as platform for a person to be something that they are not. Did you ever put things on Facebook to make yourself appear differently? I would post photos from trips and holidays, if there was a nice photo of my three children or a get together but never a photo that would say, of look at me and how much I am having.

Media Interview

When you put things on Facebook, you never thought about how someone else might view your photos? I know that I went on Holiday to New York last year and I was very lucky to have that trip but I know that when I post things on Facebook like that, my friends are already aware that I’m going so when they see pictures of my holiday, its not about oneup-man-ship, they are all happy I am having a good time. Even in my everyday life, I don’t think of myself as someone who puts things on Facebook, like look at me and the things I have. I think it makes you aware how things can come across but it does depend on the people you are friends with as well. If you are friends with people who are consumed with the material things they have, then I guess you get swept along in that bubble and that’s when it becomes a competition. I’m not like that are nor are my friends, we are all just normal, ordinary people.

How do you feel now that you removed yourself from Facebook? Honestly, I feel free. I no longer feel like I need to ‘update my status’ I don’t need to keep up with other people and what they have. More importantly, I feel better about myself. A lot of things on Facebook where negative and began impacting my self confidence, something I never struggled with before, but since deleting my profile, I don’t care, I do what I like, when I want and without having to seek other peoples approval. It was probably the best decision I have made in a long time.

Media Interview

Hate it but can’t live without it.

Why do you use social media? “It is the way everyone communicates with each other and is the only way you can say the things you want to say. I only use it because of everyone else. If they can say what they want to say then so can I!”

I’m not friends with these people anymore. When I see pictures of myself with old friends or Instagram I do sometimes wish I was till friends with them.

What kinds of things are said between you and your friends on social media?

When you go onto Instagram, what kind of things do you see?

Yes, but I stopped using it because it was a waste of time. Girls posting depressing things, I couldn’t be bothered to read them, it made me feel depressed. Their unhappiness made me unhappy, Girls my ages shouldn’t really have anything to feel depressed about. I think we can do what we want, of course there are boundaries, we are still young, but really what is there to stop us being happy.

“Pictures of people from school. There are normally groups of people I used to hang out with but I didn’t get invited or they can sometimes be pictures that I was part of but never tagged me and it’s annoying”

Media Interview

“We talk about what we do at the weekend, if we want to meet up at the weekend, things like that, it’s never really deep or meaningful conversations.

Did you ever use Facebook?

Media Interview

Do you find social media restricting? I did, but I don’t want to use it anymore. I feel angry that people feel they need to show off their glamorous lives on social media to everyone because they know that’s the only way the can get attention. I used to look at the pictures and feel sad that it wasn’t about my life, that I didn’t have those things or I couldn’t be in that place and then I started thinking that I shouldn’t be ungrateful for the things that I have in my life. You stopped using social media because it made you unhappy? Yes, the things I was seeing online was making me unhappy and any conversation that was had online is not the same as face to face. You can’t see emotions through a text message, even if emjoi’s are used, its not real. A conversation online that doesn’t have an expressed emotion can sometimes be misread and taken out of context.

I have read text messages out of context myself. I have had a few friends confront one another about things said online and in the end that person makes them selves look stupid because they misread a message, it always seems to lead to people falling out. People hide behind social media. The words I chose at the beginning are feelings I used to have, social media is a waste of time. People don’t have the balls to stand up and speak to someone’s face. Social media has turned us all into cowards. Since removing my profile online, i have felt a little like I am missing out more on what my friends are up to so I did end up rejoining social media. I still haven’t decided if that was a good idea but it just seems to be something I can’t live without.

Media Interview

I JUST WANT TO F SOMETHING BIGGE

FEEL LIKE PART OF ER THAT ME....

Media Interview

I don’t see the point in any of it..

Why did you choose not to have social media? I am not a person who has ever been particularly interested in people outside of my own family and to stay in touch with them is as easy as making a phone call so I never saw the need to sign up to Facebook or any other social media because I didn’t see what I would gain from it. Not to mention I haven’t got a clue how it works and I don’t really have any time during the day to waste so I can find out. Do you have friends or work collegues that use social media? I know that a lot of people I work with are on Facebook, I’m not sure about other social media but it’s not really something I ever talk to them about.

I do have a Linkin profile because of the industry I work in, I feel it is nessecary for me to stay in touch with other members of the same industry and I have come across members on Linkin that have posted inappropriate comments. I decided not to have social mdia because I was aware of people’s behaviour online, so I thought Linkin would be different, since it is full of professional people only to find that similar things happen on this forum. I was surprised to see this sort of behaviour and considering that a persons Linkin profile is normally where employers look for new employees, I can’t say I would employ someone from their profile based on some of the things I have read online.

Media Interview

Do you social media is a good way Do you think that you can have to stay connected to people? social media and still be professional? Why is social media any different to communicate with than what we For me, I think the answer is no. had before. An email was always How can I expect my collegues at such an easy way to explain to work to take me seriously at my someone what you wanted, how job if they know personal details you wanted it done and when you about my life and what I was doing wanted it done by. Now people at the weekend. Especially with have to ‘poke’ each other and send the job role I have, when I give messages over Facebook. I know clients my name, I don’t want them that being connected over soto look me up on Facebook and cial media is the most up to date see what I do in my spare time. version of communication but I I feel like when enter a business would rather stay old fashioned relationship with someone, If the and call someone or send an email. know your personal life, it is hard That way I know that I’m going to to maintain a professional outlook get what I want and need from that and for me that mean clients who other person. don’t take me seriously and it could lead to slacking in the work place. Also, after a long week at work, the last thing I want to do is ‘update my status’ online to let everyone know how tired I am of my job and thats the problem with social media, it is full of people writing boring comments about boring things trying to make their lives seem more interesting and quite frankly, I don’t care enough.

Media Interview

I love it and I use it everyday!

What social media are you most active on? I love all kinds of social media, twitter, Instagram but I am mostly active on Facebook. It’s a great place for me to speak to people that I don’t get to speak to on a regular basis. I use it a lot for selling tech and gadgets, something that I used to do before starting university and I still use it for that now but not as much. What do you use Facebook for the most? I have a YouTube channel, I’ve only had it for about a year so I use Facebook as a way of advertising the videos that I upload onto my channel. I love that Facebook is open to so many people because that gives me the opportunity to appeal to lots of different people and in turn get lots of views and likes on my videos.

Do you think your YouTube channel would be as popular without Facebook? I still think that I would be successful but I rely on the contacts I make through my Facebook page. I would say that after every film I upload I probably receive ten friend requests from new people that are interested in my channel. What do you think Facebook does to help your relationships with people? Because I live in England with just my mum, the rest of my family are in Brazil and we use Facebook to stay in touch with each other. I have a huge family that are all so pleased to see me do well with my YouTube channel and the work I do at university. I would probably be unable to share this work with them if I didn’t have Facebook, so for me it’s very important.

Media Interview

Media Interview What are your overall feelings of social media and do you think it is something you will always have? I love Facebook and I think its something that if used correctly can really be a great tool to use for communication, especially with the Journalism degree I have decided to pursue, it’s the perfect way for me to stay up to date. I do understand why maybe some people don’t enjoy using it but maybe that’s because they don’t know the best way to use the social media tools they have to hand and actually if people stopped buying into everything they read online and believed in themselves a little more there wouldn’t be such an issue surrounding self-confidence. I think that as long as Facebook survives, so will my profile. I hope that in years to come I can grow my Facebook page and encourage people to follow my YouTube channel. I am excited to see what social media can do for me in the future.

Ways of avoiding FoMO?

FoMO is a feeling that most people have, no-one wants to admit, but everyone wants to get rid of. There a few simple things that can be done in order to rid yourself of FoMO and get back to reality. You might not be missing out! The first thing, they may also be the most simple thing is to think to yourself, am I really missing out? The majority of things we see on Facebook are an over exaggerated version of events. You need to stop and realise that what you see online is not always the truth. Just because someone appears to be enjoying themselves that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always the case. Sometimes it is a good idea to list all the other things you could be doing instead of looking at the pictures someone posted on Facebook from their wild night out. Keep that list handy for the next time you see an image that gives you FoMO and remember that things are not always as they seem.

You might be the cause of your own FoMO. We live in a society that is constantly on the go and we always have more important things we should be getting on with. But have you ever thought that you might be the root cause for your own feeling of missing out. It could be that your friends constantly ask you to join and yet you find yourself saying no to most things because you are too busy. Get into the habit of saying yes to more things, even if you are dreading the thought of the activity you have agreed to, not only kight you be trying something new but you will also be having face-to-face interaction with friends and could possible meet new people. Avoid FoMO

Avoid FoMO

Is what I see online really something I wish I was doing? Seeing peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s elaborate lives online can cause you to question how interesting your own life is. Unfortuanately you are more inclined to think you life is boring because of what you see online but you need to ask yourself if what you are looking at on social media is really something you wish you were doing. For example if you have friends that attend of lot of parties and spend many nights out and about with lots of people, you need to ask yourself, is that something I want to do, do I have time for omething like hat and do I have the money to support a spontaneous and carefree party lifestyle. The chances are you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.

Really what you need to do is find something that interests you and stick to it, be proud of what makes you happy instead of reaching out to people who falsely advertise their lives and are probably more unhappy then you are because they have to maintain that party lifestyle.

Is FoMO telling me I need to change something in my life? Sometimes what you see online highlights areas of your own life that you might not be happy with. For example your job or even your friends. Perhaps the feeling of missing out is actually due to feeling uhappy and could actually be used in a positive way. This kind of feeling can push you to making life changing decisions that may lead to a much happier you. You need to keep in mind that the FoMO you experience might not directly link to something you wish you had or something you wish you were doing but more leans towards something you wish you could change about yourself or in your life. When the feeling of FoMO rises, think to yourself if maybe you feel like that because you need to change something in your life, this could be solotion to eradicating FoMO from your life for good.

FoMO be GONE

Avoid FoMO

FoMO

[ Fear of Missing Out ]