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The Royal We Heather Cocks & Jessica Morgan NOVEL
By Hillary Busis
HAT HOPES AND dreams, fears and insecurities, shameful desires and petty irritations lurk behind the gloriously bouncy waves and flashbulb-ready smile of Kate Middleton—sorry, of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge? Is she content to play the part of the perfect princess, or does she ever chafe at her golden chains? And what does she really think of Elizabeth II’s pastel suits and stiff upper lip? We’ll probably never know. But Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan, better known as the minds behind the caustically clever fashion blog Go Fug Yourself, have given the matter considerable thought. The result: The Royal We, a fictionalized account of Kate and Prince William’s courtship in the grand tradition of Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife (about a politician’s spouse who is not Laura Bush) and Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus’ The First Affair (about a White House intern who is not Monica Lewinsky). Cocks and Morgan’s ersatz Kate is Rebecca Porter, an American by birth who’s a bit of a Cool Girl: She loves baseball and junk food! She’s not looking for a serious relationship! She goes by Bex! Like Middleton, Bex comes from a wealthy but déclassé family—her father invented a sofa/fridge combo called the Coucherator. Like Middleton, she has a gorgeous, attention-grabbing sister. And like Middleton, she gets to be classmates and pals with the heir to the British throne, here named Nicholas, before the two begin clandestinely dating. Which isn’t to say that the novel functions only as a game of “spot the references.” While the authors draw heavily from their source material, they aren’t slaves to it—see Bex’s Stateside origins, or the story’s Diana figure, whose death-by-paparazzi is MEMORABLE LINE metaphorical rather than literal. “If you believe More importantly, their characters my unauthorized are lively and quippy enough to biography, The register as people instead of tabloidBexicon, Nick inspired cutouts—especially Prince fell in love with Freddie, the roguish Spare to Nick’s me at a pub on my Heir. The result is a breezy, juicy first night at novel that’s like The Princess Diaries Oxford, and angels with fewer made-up countries burst into song and more sex—the kind of book you while rose petals can imagine Pippa sneaking into fell from the sky.” Kensington Palace. B+ E
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