Editor-in-Chief Dr. Renita L. Webb
Control Page 3
Publisher Melodee Press
Contributing Writer Shahane Toler
Teamwork Page 7
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ISSN 2771-4470
From the EDITOR'S Thoughts Page 2
Impact of non-profit leadership Image Credits
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Cover Image - Shaw Photography Group Page 4 - Stock image from Canva.com Dr. Renita - Back Cover Photos and Ads - Elizabeth Ashley & Co.
© Melodee Press 2022. For permission to reproduce any article in this magazine contact thedoc@drrenitawebb.com.
Rest is relative. There are so many times I think about how tired I am. But, then I think of all of the things that need to be done. Those thoughts kept me from truly resting even when I was supposed to be at rest. Then when I do finally make the decision to drop everything and just take a real serious mental break, sometimes I regret it. The reasons for that regret are two-fold. First, sometimes it hard to come back out of that mode. Dropping everything is hard to do, but once I’ve let it go, I don’t always want to pick any of it back up. There is also the option to decide not to pick it all back up and then I have to go through the process of sorting what is worth it and what is not. Though it can be helpful in the end, that is HARD WORK!! Like every process, the first step is getting started which goes back to the hard time coming out of the drop everything and rest mode. The second part of the reason for my rest regret is missing things while I am resting and having to play catch up. There are few things sucky-er than getting and feeling behind. It is the quickest way to make you feel like you should have just not gone anywhere. When you come back to 200+ emails, voicemails, and text from people at your workplace because everything kept going while you were out. But, you know what this reminds me of…that job will keep going whether you are there or not. Though there are some who will attempt to aggressively or passive aggressively remind you of what wasn’t done while you were out and guilt you for taking time off, there is so much that did happen. Leaders, we cannot talk out of both sides of our mouths (or necks depending on your cultural reference). We tell people that they need to take care of themselves and make sure they are trying to find some sort of balance in their lives. But, we also give them tons of work with lack of support. We give deadlines that sometimes would cause those under our leadership to work 10+ hours a day to meet and don’t provide them breathing room after that deadline is meet. Back to back projects are NOT a requirement for life and if they are…make sure that there are multiple teams/people working on those tasks so that a breather is not impossible or becomes a regret. For those who don’t have to answer to anyone else or are the leaders in the organization but still run into this issue, we have to set ourselves up for success to take the rest and not return to a mess. Solopreneurs make sure you automate what you can and set up other things to be able to take a full stop and restart when your rest is done. For leaders of leaders, make sure that not only do you automate what you can, but that you also empower and train others to be able to keep the ship floating and moving forward while you rest. If you are the only person who can do what you do and those things must get done at all times, then your rest will always be regretful. Stop and think about that!
- Dr. Renita
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Control
We All Want It - 7 Ways to Gain It
By: Dr. Renita L. Webb
Marionette dolls depend on their master to make every move for them. Their master determines the way they turn, the finger they lift, the steps they make, and everything about their body. The master literally pulls all of the strings in their existence. There are some people who feel like they live their lives just like these puppets. There is always someone or something else pulling their strings and deciding their destiny. But, there it is hard to feel like you are making a difference, making an impact, or actually living out your purpose in that type of reality. At some pointe in time, you have to cut the strings and take control of your own life and chose your own path. W.E. Henley wrote a poem, “Invictus”, that ends with the unforgettable stanza: It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. This reminds us that we have the ability to control our very destiny if we make the choice to not allow life’s circumstances and missteps to make us think that we can’t. We get to choose what we believe, who we surround ourselves with, what we allow into our bodies, minds, and souls. But, with that control and those options, also comes responsibility and consequences (positive or negative). We say we want CONTROL but do we even think about all that comes with it.
Here are 7 healthy ways to gain control through understanding of it and the real implications of it. 1. Remember: The only person that you can control is you! Many of us nearly drive ourselves crazy in attempts to control other people. But, like previously stated, we all have the freewill to make choices in our own lives. That includes your employees, your children, your supervisors, your investors, your congregation, your students, your teammates, and everyone else around you who you might interact with. Your title or position does not determine a level of control you have over others. You can only determine how you prepare, handle, and react to the things that occur to and around you. That you can control and that alone.
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2. Control is influence Where you cannot control the thoughts and actions of others, you can potentially influence their decisions and beliefs. Leaders lead by inspiring, encouraging, and being the example for others to choose to follow. Thinking about the influencers on social media, they cause people to do, eat, wear just about anything. No matter how crazy, weird, or something that you would have never thought of trying before. Because the influencers do and say, we often consider or actually follow suit. Leaders should be influencers in the same regard. While you might not try to get people to purchase clothing or try foods, but you should influence the people in your followship to do their part towards the greater vision and be fully invested as they do so.
3. Control is direction If you know where you are going it allows you the opportunity to choose the direction you head and potentially how long it is going to take you get to the place you are going. Having a sense of direction and being able to follow direction allows you to control how your reach your destination. Not only should you know the direction you are going, you also have to be able to give direction. Having the knowledge of the destination requires you to also be able to direct others on how to arrive there. From your direction, they should be able to get there, whether or not you are walking with them. This is the picture of how the leader empowers others. It is empowerment that not only allows them to know where they are going and how to get there, but they also are encouraged to go and do it on their own.
4. Control is supervision Some people may think of this idea and think that this means watching over other people and making sure they are working. That is not the case. Supervision is so much more than that. Watching means that you are observing. That means “seeing” the visible and invisible. You must know what is going on with the humans doing and the humans being. This helps you to be aware of all that is happening with the people connected to you, but also with yourself. Supervision isn’t just external, it is internal as well. This supervision will give a special control power. You will not only be aware of what is happening, but you will be able to catch when things are going right and be able to help redirect it to going where it should be headed.
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5. Control is restraint Being able to keep yourself from doing things that you want to do but not doing them at that moment in time is one of the ultimate forms of control. This comes from regulation, the ability to adjust, and being able to face adversity calmly. To regulate you must be able to maintain, supervise, and set how things are and how they will go. In that regulation, you must also determine what is most needed in the situation and then restrain those people, actions, and situations that go against that need. This is one of the hardest things to do because it may go against what you would do naturally in that moment.
6. Control is a baseline/standard Think about science experiments. When you are testing to see if something works you must have an example of something that didn't change. This is called a control. It is the baseline, something that is intentionally not affected by the change agent. Control is not being affected by something that could cause you to change. You make the choice whether to accept the agent of change in your life. The control is the standard it is the picture of what would be if nothing changed. The leader should be the standard but also understand that when something comes in to affect you that you may have to adapt and set a new standard.
7. Control is verification Getting verification will help you control your thoughts around an event or situation. There is something special about knowing for sure. You can know exactly what you need to do next, who you need to lift or connect with if you know what is certainly happening now. Your soul will be at ease when you know certainly whether you like it or not. Being able to accurately determine your next move based on the facts of the now is an amazing thing.
Getting control in healthy ways will not only change your outlook on life and potentially decrease your anxiety, but also help you to maintain control in the future. Using the seven tips presented here will get you off to a great start.
@dr.renita
Dr. Renita Webb
Dr. Renita L. Webb
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The impact of non-profit leadership...
$therefininglife bit.ly/TRLPPDonations
why it really makes the dream work By. Dr. Renita L. Webb
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." - African Proverb There are so many gifts and talents we have been given. Those things are unique to who we are and because of the different experiences and feelings we bring to them, no other person can ever replicate them. There is so much that we can do on our own that we don’t even know that we can until we are forced to do it. But, there are so many other things we could do, places we could go, things we could see, and people we could impact if we would connect to the right person or people. The saying goes, “it’s not what you know but who you know.” This rings so true because there are so many people who will never know what you can do because you aren’t connected to the people who they are connected to so that they can be exposed to you. But, we get so haughty believing that we can do everything on our own. Or we are so desiring the glory, power, and prestige for doing it and we don’t want to share any of that, so we try it on our own and usually don’t find nearly as much success as we wanted or could have had if we would have worked with others who could have pushed us or given us a different perspective or idea to move what we were moving further forward.
"What's gonna work...Teamwork." - The Wonder Pets We were made to be interconnected beings. That means that we were never meant to lead in life alone. It is others that not only help us though life, but that make us leaders in the first place. Leaders have to lead someone. Those people while a part of our followship also help to move forward the purpose of the group. Every member of the organization, ministry, school, business, or whatever you lead, is needed to get all the things done. To make the vision come to fruition. But, this requires 2 things that not every person is willing to do. 1) You must cast your vision. That means you have to share what has not happened yet, share your dream. This is the only way to get other people to get on board to care to also want that vision to come to pass or help make that dream come true.
These dreams may be anything from building Fortune 500 companies to finding ways to get more people to salvation, finding ways to get students to understand new math methods to keeping your house clean (if you don’t live alone and never have guests). All of these visions are often seen by the leader but require other thinkers and doers to get them done. Those others become followers of the leader and their vision. When they are connected one to another and are working towards the fruition of that vision, they become a team. Page 7
As in sports, when the team is assembled, there is special attention given to each player’s strengths and weaknesses. Their strengths help determine what position they will play. Their weaknesses determine what other types of players you need to ensure that those weaknesses don’t become liabilities. But, this means that the leader, the coach, must get to know each player as much as they can before they join the team, and continue to get to know them after they are on board. Remember that positions may need to be changed and players may have to take turns being on the field and on the bench. But, if each player is put in the right position and plays their position well, the team will have a much higher rate of potential success. Each team member has a role and in those roles leadership opportunities will regularly arise. When people have to step into those new positions it is imperative that the others handle the roles they used to play. The leadership positions may not be a permanent promotion, but leadership in their area of expertise to help everyone be effective and progress to the next step towards the goal. But, they must be empowered as a leader. This will require the leader they follow to help the other members of the team know that they are to be looked to for information, instruction, and even at times supervision. This will require a shift of control and power. Remember, you want power behind your vision. If there is only one powerful person pushing it, it will not go far.
“A team is only as strong as it’s weakest link. Don’t be that weak link” Your title and position does not determine your strength level on the team. Clearly, for a team to function well, all of its members should be functioning at optimal levels. Thus, it is important for everyone to operate at as close to full capacity as possible. This means that every member of the team must do what they do and do it well. This is the place where lane management comes in to play. If we spend too much time attempting to do things that are not in our wheelhouse that have been assigned to another member of the team then our jobs get neglected. Sometimes, weakness is shown by us doing too much rather than not doing enough. When a team is fully operational in everyway, then the team will be able to make miraculous things happen. When the leader helps to empower this team and does their part the team will not only make things happen but they will also love doing it.
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Who has it? Who needs it? What's the source?
By: Shahane Toler and Dr. Renita L. Webb
Power is a noun by which most people want to be identified by. When in a leadership role you are given “Power” to lead a group of people, make changes, and get a level of respect from those who follow you. However, when power is given, it can be taken away at any time. So, you have to ask yourself, “do I really have power?” When power is taken you don't always know it right away. This occurrence usually shows itself through a lack of respect even while you assume you have power. This level of given power is only for a short term. This often causes a lifetime of recovery for the one who temporarily holds the power and the ones who follow them. There is another level of power - power earned. Earned power can last a lifetime. This level of Power takes passion, love, and tenacity (or as I like to say ‘PLT’). When you have passion for something it lives in your body (heart), spirit (soul) and mind (thoughts). With passion there is love. This love will cause you to give tireless energy to pursuits that can cause you to lose track of time and space. This shows a level of tenacity that is appealing to others thus earning you a level of power that is due to your human being and human doing. So, lets break this down. Power is level of identity that can be Given, Taken or Earned. However, every level has its own source. Given Power is a lamp connected to the main source like an extension cord to the higher Power but at any time that lamp can be thrown out for a new one. Taken Power is like a thief caught on camera so in time and research you will be identified, to be locked away with no Power. Earned Power is its own source because it was built by the person who carries it. This kind of power has unlimited control. There are people out there at all different places on these steps to power. Some are seeking to get to the level of earned power, others don't want to put in all the work that it takes to get there. Earned power is often endowed to those who we acknowledge having PLT. This includes active parents, mentors, pastors, empowering leaders, and more in this realm. But, there are so many people that feel powerless that they attempt to take the power from those who have earned it because they are experiencing a level of power that can be admirable. But, it also can cause jealousy.
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These people who are seeking the benefits of earned power through easier to reach means still need power. This is what will drive them to either find comfort in the levels of power they have obtained or get this horrific hunger for power that they become dangerous. Though there is no excuse for some of the harmful acts some people commit in their attempt to gain power, understanding their innate need for it helps us get to the root cause of why some actions are initiated. Power is a tricky thing, but it cannot be ignored. It exist all around us and there are limited numbers of people who operate in it in positively effective ways. There are some who have it that hoard it. All this does is create a foundation for more people to be deprived of power, thus possibly taking drastic measures to get it. We cannot take our power lightly, it is a mighty force.
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