Lead Like You Magazine - Vol. 1 Iss. 3 - March 2022

Editor-in-Chief Dr. Renita L. Webb

Finding The Joy IN Leadership Page 4

Publisher Melodee Press

Contributing Writer Yolanda Mukombe, MBA

Time Management Page 9

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ISSN 2771-4470

From the EDITOR'S Thoughts

Power Songs to Gear You Up to Lead

Pulling Money Out of Thin Air

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Image Credits

Page 4 - Stock image from Canva.com Dr. Renita - Front and Back Cover Photos and Ads - Elizabeth Ashley & Co.

© Melodee Press 2022. For permission to reproduce any article in this magazine contact thedoc@drrenitawebb.com.

TRANSFORMERS Transformers are who or what you see, but there is always more to them. Think about the old school toys that went from some sort of mode of transportation (car, truck, airplane) and it turns out that they were also robots. They transformed into who they needed to be in any given moment.

There are people who we are connected to that when we connected to them the were showing as one thing. But, if those connections continue over time, those people are likely to transform, if for no other reason they continued to live and had new life experiences.

We are transformers and we are transformers. We are constantly in a state of transformation, and we are also agents to assist in the transformation of other people and other things. But dealing with transformation is not always the easiest thing especially when you are a creature of habit or you are a person who needs to plan EVERYTHING. There is a certain level of control that comes in both of those things and when dealing with transformation, you are often out of control. Transformation involves matters and elements we didn’t see coming. They were covered up by what we already knew.

As a leader, you not only need to be a transformer and show people what is beneath the surface of what they see to show how you can continue to have a positive impact and influence on their lives.

But you also must accept that others are doing the same. Because of these transformations, you have got to stay abreast of the changes happening in those around you to determine how you can apply who you are and what you have gone through to be the best leader to those who follow you.

You might even determine that you are no longer the person for them. Guess what…that’s ok. You outgrow and out transform people all of the time. You are supposed to. We don’t all walk our path with the same people forever. This goes along with the concept that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Allow your transformation to reveal your next best self and do the same for others. At that time determine how and if the new creatures need to keep the same connection they had before of if changes need to be made.

Remember this will happen with people in every area and relationship in your life. There are some who you may have made a pledge to stick with through thick and thin, for richer or poorer, until death does you part. Even those people will transform. If you plan to make good on your promise, you must figure out what transpires in their transformation to find ways to keep your transformed self connected to theirs. This will change you communicate, the way you interact, and so much more.

Though every relationship is not like a marriage, business partnerships come in a close second. Some relationships are just harder to get out of than others and the transformations will continue. It takes work to lead when you are changing and so are those around you. But, stay the course, investigate, research, discover, and adapt when necessary.

- Dr. Renita

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Finding The Joy in Leadership It’s ok to smile…leading with and inspiring others to find joy By: Dr. Renita L. Webb I remember being a beginning teacher. It was quite a unique time since it was not particularly what I went to college to do. But, after getting a position and talking to veteran educators, one piece of advice that many of them gave me was: “don’t smile until Christmas”. I came to find out later that this tip was given to many first year teachers as a way for them to gain the respect of their students and then have the opportunity to loosen up the reins later with a lower likelihood of being seen as a joke or running a great risk of being taken advantage.

There is an old saying, “don’t take my kindness for weakness”. This shows the psychological connection to strength and misery. Maybe it is because things that are strong wind up carrying the weight of those things that need support or that aren’t as strong. Carrying weight is not something that is usually desired, but for many it is see as a noble feat. The more weight you carry without breaking under the pressure causes others to cheer you on. While the strong one is often also carrying the weight of their own emotions which helps to heightened levels of misery and discontent.

Joy vs. Happiness Joy and happiness are often terms that are used interchangeably.

Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience but are very different. Joy is more consistent and is cultivated internally. It comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events. (Psychologies, 2022) As you can see, there are great differences between the two emotions. When in positions of leadership people are not often depicted or celebrated to be either of these. Feelings of stress, anxiety, tiredness, and frustration are more typically associated with leaders.

So, how can you experience and exhibit joy in your position of leadership and still be perceived as strong and successful?

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Discover what brings you joy Since joy is internal and it cannot be found in things outside of ourselves, you really have to identify the source of your joy. My joy is in the fact that I am here and I was created to be an positively impactful person in this world. I find joy in the fact that I have been provided gifts and talents that not only benefit me, but they have the potential to benefit others who I come in contact with. I find joy in the fact that I was intentionally made wonderfully. I find joy in the fact that my body functioned in a way that incubated and birthed children. I find joy in the breaths that I take and the ability to laugh and release with tears. There is joy in the style of clothing I like to wear. There is joy in knowing that though what I love may not be liked by all that I can still connect with others who perceive differently from me but we can still find enough common ground to have genuine relationships. I am able to show up fully with my experiences, lessons learned, opportunities for growth and unique visions. These things make me smile on gloomy days. I chose to share a portion of this side of me with my followship to help encourage them to find the joy inside of themselves as well.

But, in order to come to this knowing, you must spend some time with yourself and really reflect on the good, bad, and ugly of your past experiences. They are yours so don’t act like they didn’t happen. You also must use what you learned from those to attach to the hopes that you have for the future. This will help you truly “see” yourself and to find joy in all of who you are and hope to be.

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@dr.renita

Dr. Renita Webb

Dr. Renita L. Webb

Express Joy Unapologetically The ultimate joy killer is when you are forced to hide it. At what point was it decided that leadership is something that you shouldn’t enjoy while being consistent, persistent, and successful. Hardwork shouldn’t always be presented as dreadful. That is oftentimes what causes your “follow”ship to shy away from the harder task and settle for simple which limits growth.

Joy in the struggle sounds oxymoronic, but since struggles typically come from external things and joy is internal, they can exist at the same time in one being.

But, beware, your joy will feel toxic to those who haven’t found their own and hold on to the thought that if you aren’t stressed out, miserable, and battling then you can’t possibly be doing your job well, serving to your fullest abilities, or be a great leader. That is just not so and it is not fair.

The expression of joy has proven affects on your mental and physical health.

Murphy (2018), list some of the benefits of joy as: “promotes a healthier lifestyle, boosts immune system, fights stress and pain, and supports longevity”.

It also reminds us about the chemical releases that happen in our bodies when we experience joy. So, if joy is going to make us healthier and have the ability to function more effectively longer, then it is correlated with the ability to lead more efficiently and effectively. Thus, the expression of unapologetic joy should possibly be the greatest sign of leadership potential and success. The leaders influence to cause their followers to then also start to express their joy at the same levels and positively benefit their own health and abilities to do what they do are then impacting more positively than before.

So, smile, sing, dance, laugh, and/or whatever it is that takes your joy from the insides and allows it to shine on the outside.

What Brings You Joy?

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Make Sure Your Leadership and Joy Have a Clear Connection This one should be simple, but it can be so hard to see or admit. Sometimes we do things because we have always done time. Some times we keep going on the path we are on because it meets the expectations and hopes of others. But, now it the time to really access where you are, what you need, and how it is affecting you. If you are in a space where you absolutely cannot not find any connection to it and your joy (let alone your peace) then why are you still there? I am not encouraging you to run away or quit, per se, but I am encouraging you to find ways to allow joy to live wherever you choose to be. As the saying goes, misery loves company. If you are stressed, frustrated, and discouraged, please note that those who choose to follow you and stay, will express those same feelings. That will not produce ultimate levels of awesomeness, or even mediocre levels of ok.

That type of environment will have many limits and growth will be stunted because there is no light to encourage people to strive for their own levels of amazing. It will be get it done so we can get out of this darkness.

Who thrives in the dark places? They can be a learning ground but not the place where we make the most growth. Like plants, we need light (joy) and water (nourishment) to grow. As a leader, we should create environments where the potential for growth is exponential. Thus, we must give the people, including ourselves, what they need to foster that.

Joy is at time seen as a privilege because so many people suffer so much, but it is intrinsically inside of us all. Life experiences can at times make it hard to find. But, I promise there is a spark, a light inside of you that it just waiting to be uncovered. It is that joy that will make the difference in your leadership, your “follow”ship, and ultimately your impact on the world. So, find yours and let it shine through.

References Dowding, K. (2008). Perceptions of Leadership. In Hart, P. and Uhr, J. Public Leadership: perspectives and practices.

Australian National University E Press, Canberra ACT 0200, Australia. Retrieved March 16, 2022 from https://library.oapen.org/bitstream/handle/20.500.12657/33648/459473.pdf?sequence=1#page=111 Murphy, C. (2018). This is how joy affects your body. Retrieved March 17, 2022 from https://www.healthline.com/health/affects-of-joy#2.-Your-circulatory-system Psychologies. (2022). Joy vs happiness: 3 ways to build a more joyful life. Kelsey Media, Yalding Hill, Yalding, Kent ME18 6AL. Retrieved March 16, 2022 from https://www.psychologies.co.uk/joy-vs-happiness/

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Time Management

Reclaiming your time through proper calendar utilization By. Dr. Renita L. Webb

Since Representative Maxine Walters uttered the magical words, “RECLAIMING MY TIME,” people everywhere, more specifically Black Women have taken the term and given it a full life especially in the realm of self-care. Reclaiming our time is not only relegated to massages, manicures, and vacations, it also should include the everyday moments of our lives that at times slip away because we don’t take hold of them in an intentional way.

There are a number of things that can get in the way and take advantage of our time whether or not we intentionally allow them to do so. Do you do any of the following?

Say yes to things even when there was something else you were supposed to do Scroll on Social Media for hours on end Binge watch streaming shows/movies Want to jump into a conversation but allow others to speak continuously Find your day full when you thought it was completely free Do all the things that need to get done rather than the thing that you need to do All of the items listed above can have their place, but when done in excess can wreck your journey to your goals and ultimately your success.

There has to be some instrument used in your life to help to wrangle in your time and help you to better determine where you allot your moments.

The way you allot your time will determine how you walk and where your path takes you.

There are a number of things you can do to grab hold of your time, but I have found one of the most successful tools to really harness time is a simple one, a calendar or a planner.

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There are several different options and functions of calendars out there and it is important for you to find what works for you. There are calendars that you utilize for your personal use and you input your information into them to keep appointments, meetings, and activities organized. Then there are calendars that can be used to help others understand when you are available so that they can schedule time with you. These calendars come in paper and electronic forms.

They also come in a variety of input and output options. It can become overwhelming, but remember the choice is yours and what works for you might be vastly different for what works for others, and that’s ok!

The special thing that all of these options provide is…BOUNDARIES! They create place and appointed times for things to happen in your life. If you adhere to them you might find that you have more time in your day than you thought you did.

Let’s look at a few options for calendars and schedulers that might literally change your life.

Paper Planners/Schedulers Paper planners come in a variety of options. They come in monthly, weekly, and daily views. They can be arranged horizontally or vertically.

They also have options for hourly, time of day, or non-labeled sections to write your appointments and activities. I know you may be thinking, “why does this even matter”. But, it is all about how you view your day. How do you break it down and how does your brain like to be reminded? To get even more fancy, there are even planners that function with such fanciful and creative visuals that you would think they were art projects. (Let’s be honest, they really do become adult art projects.)

But, those works of art help to trigger our minds and invite us to look at the schedules we have possibly with less angst and overwhelm.

Bergland (2021) argues that writing things down is supreme for the following reasons: 1. Jotting things down on paper is faster.

2. Handwritten notes tend to be more accurate and have personalized flairs.

3. Handwriting in a notebook triggers more robust brain activity.

4. Writing by hand is associated with stronger neural encoding and memory retrieval.

This would mean that using a paper planner is scientifically the better option.

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Digital Calendars Let’s be clear writing down things in this day and time is not always the most convenient or most feasible option to getting things from your head to some other receptacle. Enter, the digital calendar. If there is no other item that most people have on them, it is their cellular telephone. Cell phones, tablets, laptop computers have all become must haves and always haves in our lives. These digital devices help us do all kinds of things. One of the features that most of them have is a calendar. Having a device that potentially fits in your back pocket or bag that you are interacting with more than 30% of the day makes it ideal to be the item that gives you reminders and provides you a space to type down ideas, contact information, and so much more.

It’s always with you and you always use it, so why not allow it to be a tool for bettering your entire life???

But, this also holds its own issues.

There are so many notifications that pop up on our devices for other apps, messages, emails, and more that any type of notification starts to float into the land of white noise. It is easy to miss another notification because there are so many of them. It is important that if you utilize a digital platform for your calendar management, you must create a way that notifications will actually jolt you into the action of reading to see what is going on or should be going on.

Using digital calendars also allow you to share what is on them with others in a much more efficient manner.

There are tons of resources for your calendar, but I will share with you a few of my favorites.

Paper Happy Planner (happyplanner.com, craft stores) Recollections (Michael’s) Black Queen Planner (blackqueenplanner.com) Day Runner (Office Supply Store)

Digital Business Calendar 2 (Google Play Store) Your Phone/Tablet’s Calendar App Calendly (www.calendly.com) Acuity (www.acuity.com)

Whichever calendar maintenance tool/tools you decide to employ, start the habit of using them consistently. A calendar is only as good as the person who inputs the information. What you don’t write may get missed or double booked. Reclaim your time TODAY! Reference Burgland, C. (2021) “4 Reasons Writing Things Down on Paper Still Reigns Supreme”. Psychology Today, Retrieved March 19, 2022 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/202103/4-reasons-writing-things-down-paper-stillreigns-supreme Page 11

10 Power Songs to Set You In Gear To Lead

"Legacy Builder for Finance and Family"

@jennjourneyforreal

Jennifer Milton

Pulling Money Out of Thin Air

By: Yolanda G. Mukombe

I was recently on a panel for a virtual women’s summit titled “Get Money!” The summit featured several dynamic panels and masterclasses that encouraged women to get more money. As someone who is an entrepreneur and currently serving a role in an organization, I provided a unique perspective as to how to make more money. There were two questions that resonated with me as someone who serves multiple roles when it comes to making money to provide as a contributor in my household.

The first question was, “Do you have to be an entrepreneur to make more money?”

The answer is NO! I worked in an organization for almost 9 years and tripled my income within 5 years by taking advantage of educational opportunities that lead to my ability to advance and thus earn more money. However, as the years went by, my responsibilities increased but my pay, not as swiftly. I found myself receiving raises but they equated to less than $50 a paycheck. I know many of you can relate to this. Those increases are not substantial and often get overshadowed by taxes.

The second question, “What do you do if you don’t have an entrepreneurial spirit but want to make more money?” Everyone (and I use the term loosely) is looking to exchange their time and talent for money. This is why having an entrepreneurial mindset is tied to working a 9-5 as well as a business. If you have the desire to stay at your current employer and have the ability to negotiate, here are 5 steps to present a compelling favorable position to advocate for an increase:

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Research the Cost of Living increase in your area Document your increase in workload Research pay range for your position Calculate the percentage of increase required to get you to the desired salary you want Present this information as a salary review request to your Manager or Human Resources department

A desire to make more money is not selfish, evil, or irresponsible. In fact, it is asking for your employer to recognize and compensate you for the value you provide to the growth of the organization.

Risk and Reward: Taking a chance to ask for more money can feel intimidating and terrifying. You will not know unless you give it a try. The risk, you do the research, learn you are underpaid and try to negotiate if you are in the position to do so. Not every organization or field is amenable to promotions and pay increases. However if you are in a field that is, this is your chance to change your life in major ways. The reward, you can change your life and the lives of so many others around you. Taking the chance to advocate for yourself can open you up to receive the type of income that can enhance your quality of life.

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seeing and making the change you want in the world By: Dr. Renita L. Webb

When things are not quite right in your life or when things get difficult, we start itching for change.

When people aren’t be cooperative, when everything else seems to be in the midst of it, we want change. But, when life is AMAZING change is often the furthest thing from our minds. But, in reality, change is constantly happening all around us. As leaders, we have a unique opportunity to affect the who, where, when, why, and how changes take place. That comes through the chance every leader has to make an impact on the world around them and member of their “follow”ship in it.

What do we want? CHANGE! When do we want it? NOW! There is so much urgency involved when people are truly ready for change. This makes it hard because most impactful change is the end result of a drawn out process. While there maybe success that happen at different portions of the journey of the process, the full fruition of the ultimate change is at the end.

The first step in this process is actually knowing what change you want and why you want it to happen. The what and the why are foundation of change and impact. Have you ever heard someone who says, “something needs to change, but I don’t know what it is”? That is an example of why some people and some things get stuck the way they are, and no change takes place. If there is no change, the is no effect. If there is no effect, there is no impact.

The change is the big picture, it is the end goal.

Beginning with the end in mind will help you to accurately set up the pathway to get there. This will give your journey direction and even if you happen to veer off the path, you will know how to reset to get back on the road to where you intend to arrive.

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To see the needed change, you must identify what is wrong. It may seem as if that would be easy, but with so many things that may be going wrong at the same time, you have to get to the heart of which wrong thing you want to attack. There may also be the case where if you fix a specific problem, then it could have a chain reaction and fix other problem because that one problem may be the root cause to many others.

It is also important to know why you want a change. The why is what ultimately spurs the action towards the change. It also continues the action towards the change. You why is what will make you keep pressing towards the mark even when it gets hard, when others doubt, and you even start to doubt yourself. The why is powerful!

The next step in the process is figuring out the how. The how is oftentimes multi-tiered. It is at this point where you can set up your landmarks on the road to success. A teacher who used to be on a staff I lead once told me that in hiking, these landmarks are often stacks of rocks, called Cairns (not to be mixed up with Karens…totally different concept).

These cairns or landmarks will serve as places to cheer when you have arrived there and as places to head back to if you somehow get off course. It is helpful to create an outline to figure out all the steps it will take to get the goal. Include the activities, people, and the resources you will need for each step and as you get close to each one, make sure you have gather those things in place so that when it is time to step up to that new place you will have you need to be successful at that level. In order for the cairns to exists, either you must reach the spot they should be placed or others must put them in place and give you clear direction on how to reach them. This is where learning from others and mentorship comes in.

There are so many things that those who came before us have experienced and learned. Our journeys could at times be easier or expedited if we simply sat at the feet of those who have walked similar paths and found their own failures and successes. In them all came lessons learned and wisdom.

Being able to use the landmarks of others on your own path gives you even more opportunities to know you are headed in the right direction and wins to celebrate along the way.

10 Impactful Women You Should Know no particular order...look them all up!

1. Amanda Gorman 2. Brene Brown 3. Marcia Fudge 4. Shonda Rhimes 5. Isabel Allende 6. Claudette Colvin 7. Toni Morrison 8. MacKenzie Scott 9. Ava DuVernay 10. Tabitha Brown

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Lastly, you need to deal with the who and the when. The who could actually be more than people it could also be resources. Who is going to help you achieve this change and impact is really important because these are the people you need to follow your vision to help it come to pass. There is lots of impact we can make alone but even greater and longer lasting impact comes when others are involved. This allows the impact go grow well beyond you and your limited circle of leadership and influence. It also allows others to take ownership of the change you want to make. Now, don’t get all out of sorts thinking that this means that someone is taking over you idea or that you won’t get any credit for the change. Even though ultimately how much does that really matter in the end?

But, when other people take ownership of the process you are leading them through they are more likely to be engaged, involved, and have more energy to put towards making the change happen.

Once you have all of these things in place, then you can determine when you are going to intentionally walk the path. You might already be in the process, but making a conscious decision to take the next steps in the journey takes you from a place of happenstance to a place of purpose.

It is this intention towards change in order to make an impact is what makes the difference between impactful leaders and those who just keep things managed and in order. Leaders must have a goal to attain and have others who will walk alongside, behind and at times in front of them in the same direction. This takes trust, influence, and clarity. Leaders, see, make, and be the change you want to see in the world!

Reference Oxford Languages. (2022). Impact. Oxford University Press. Retrieved March 15, 2022 from https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/impact

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