Fall 2018

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Dr. Carla Russo Overcoming Insecurity & Low Self-Esteem

Globally Inspired Artisan Handbags…

MAR HERNANDEZ The Amazing STELLA BIDA Sandra Fry Talks Keys to Working with a Virtual Assistant

FALL RECIPES & INTERNATIONAL FESTIVALS

TIPS for Single Travelers Fall 2018

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FROM 3906

I believe each day gives us something; a few minutes of afternoon light casting intricate shadows on a dining room wall, or a delicious Pesto because the basil got knee-high. Maybe some things broke my heart....... I write about them all. My name is Becca. I live in Dallas but I left my heart in Florence, Italy. I'd like to thank you for reading.

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femmes INTERNATIONAL IN THIS ISSUE FEATURES

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Keys to Working with a Virtual Assistant Overcoming Insecurity & Low Self-Esteem Understanding Your Communication Style List Making SPOTLIGHT 16 Carol Barnes, Founder of Tomorrow’s Purpose LIFESTYLE

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Radiating Positivity, Dr. Carla F. Russo

Recipes for an Autumn Dinner International Fall Festivals MAR Hernandez Artisan Bags from Guatemala IN THE KNOW

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Mom Hears Voices, Living with Mental Illness Last Drops of Summer…Enjoy Travel Tips for Single Women & Men) BE INSPIRED

On the Cover

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What Matters Most in Life Living the Dream Overcoming Media RESERVED. REGISTRATION ON OR USE OF THE MAGAZINE CONSTITUTES ACCEPTANCE OF femmes INTERNATIONAL MAGAZINE’S USER AGREEMENT AND PRIVACY POLICY. THE MATERIALS ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM femmes INTERNATIONAL MAGAZINE.

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8 Keys to Working with a Virtual Assistant (VA)

By Sandra Fry

contractors that operate their own businesses and they have their own procedures and business models. a. Communicate with your VA according to how they request.

Unless you purchase all their available hours, they most likely are serving other clients as well. This means they most likely have scheduled time on their calendar to work on your project as well as their other clients. Your VA will also have time off.

Never assume they is always available to chat or text. b. Develop systems (or hire your VA to assist you with this task) if you have tasks that need performed in a particular manner.

Procedures such as sorting your emails into specific folders or a procedure for client intakes, document the system so that every time you need your VA to perform these specific tasks, they are worked out in the same way.

Business today is transitioning, and many entrepreneurs are performing business operations online and/or from home. This is just one of many reasons business owners may need the services of a Virtual Assistant rather than an employee.

Here is a list of eight keys to help you easily transition to working with a virtual assistant.

1. Build a relationship with your VA. You will both understand each other better and communicate your needs to each other better. View your VA as a team member. Their goal is for your business to grow and for you to succeed.

2. Be clear with what you need, the time frame and the desired outcome.

3. Keep in mind that VAs are not employees. They are independent 8

remotely does not mean they work every hour of the day and night.

Refrain from texting or calling in the evenings or on the weekends unless they have specifically said it is alright to do so.

8. Ask your VA about all the tasks you can delegate to them. It is very likely they provide more services than you’re aware of. They may be able to take more off your shoulders than you realize.

4. Select a VA that has a network of other virtual assistants available to them. If your VA does not provide a service you need, most likely they know someone who does.

5. Turn your repetitive tasks over to your VA as they can quickly and easily take these off your hands, saving you money and freeing up your time to do what you do best.

6. Ask your VA for their recommendations for applications and programs. They are there to help you better your services and grow your business.

The most important thing is that your business relationship with your VA is beneficial to both of you. Using the services of a VA should be positive and bring relief to your work load. Your relationship should also challenge your VA and provide the opportunity for them to grow as a person and a business.

Whether you are currently working with a VA or in search of one, I hope these 8 Keys to Working with a Virtual Assistant (VA) assist you in building the best relationship with the person you trust to help you grow your business.

7. Know and respect your VA’s hours of operations. Just because they work Sandra Fry, Business Support Specialist, First Rate Business Assistant, LLC firstrateba@gmail.com, www.firstrateba.com

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Overcoming Insecurity and Low Self Esteem Change What You Believe — and — You’ll Change How You Feel Emotionally.

By Dr. Carla Russo

So how does our body image impact how we see and live life? Well, body image is important because the way we see ourselves influences every aspect of our lives: our mental health, our physical health, how we take care of ourselves, how we interact with and relate to other people.

People suffering from eating disorders often have negative or distorted views of themselves,

their bodies, and their appearance. A person with a healthy body image has an objective, undistorted view of their body and appearance.

They do not spend a large amount of time checking their body or perceived flaws; or comparing themselves to others. Having a healthy body image may mean that a person is able to engage in their social, sexual, work, or

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private lives without body image concerns getting in the way; Or, it may mean accepting some dissatisfaction with one’s body image or appearance and engaging in life’s day-to-day activities anyway, despite this concern.

head speaks to us or what we believe about ourselves. Many times, people have achieved their goals only to find themselves still unfulfilled. Your emotional state may briefly change in the euphoria of the immediate success. But the core belief of not being good enough and your long-term habit of self -ejection in the mind hasn’t been altered. The critical voice in our head is more likely to put a higher goal in front of us to achieve. It’s okay to have high goals, but you don’t have to make your love and self-acceptance dependent on them.

Having a healthy body image may also include identifying the unrealistic and unattainable standards of beauty and thinness portrayed in the media and avoiding making comparisons with these portrayals. While developing and fostering a healthy body image does not guarantee good mental or physical health, it can offer a layer of protection against poor selfesteem, disordered eating patterns or yo-yo dieting, and, potentially, other mental health conditions like depression, anxiety. To build selfconfidence and overcome low self-esteem is to change how we feel emotionally about ourselves. When your mind has an image of success that you "should be" — it associates happy emotions with that picture. I call that the image of perfection in our mind. Sadly however, the mind also does a comparison between the image of perfection and how you see your selfimage currently. The comparison results in judgment and self-rejection for not meeting the image of perfection. The self-rejection results in feeling unworthy and of low self-esteem. It’s a futile battle!

Having this awareness helps shift our point of view and is a beginning step that will help us change a belief.

Changing the “not good enough” image is much easier once you have broken your belief in the image of perfection. Without the image of perfection, you no longer have the comparison reinforcing the unworthy "self” image.

While the image of perfection appears to be a way for us to feel good about ourselves, it is, actually causing us to reject ourselves which creates feelings of "not being good enough." … If you were to dissolve the belief that you should fit into the image of perfection you would eliminate the self-rejection and feelings of unworthiness that result.

If you can begin to change some of the smaller thoughts and emotions you have, then you can learn how to change the larger thoughts and emotions you experience.

So, start right now! Take a deep breath releasing it with a heavy sigh… again.

Then at your own pace — SMILING —continue to breath slow and deep — reciting to yourself on inhalation: I am healthy, I am strong. On Exhalation: I am awesome, and I love myself.

What we may not be aware of is that achieving our image of success doesn’t effectively change our emotional state. It doesn't do anything to permanently change the way the voice in our

Dr. Carla Russo, Executive Director at Zen Wellness Academy, http://www.ZenWellnessAcademy.com/

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5 Ways to Understand Your Communication Style

By Gena Yuvette Davis

As a professional, how you present yourself to others is critical to your success; and although technical skills are important in doing your job well, it is how well you communicate and get along with others is the real test of your true potential.

differently and have different communication styles. In communication, we tend to speak different "languages."

Master communicators understand fully the four cornerstones of effective communication and they adapt their communication "language" to that of the other person. It doesn't mean they would give up their native tongue (who they truly are). It just means they are willing to adapt their approach in order to most effectively engage with others. Adapting our behavioral and communication styles is one of the most important ways to apply the four cornerstones of effective communication; while also being willing to respect others and put their communication style preference first. Remember, people want to be treated

Trust, transparency, authenticity and rapport are the four cornerstones of effective communication. Knowing that some people just naturally click with one another - and others, not so much - we can struggle to find common ground which can lead to conflict and a negative work environment.

What we don't always remember, however, is that each of us approach the world 12

the way THEY want to be treated; not the way you think they should be treated.

detailed oriented, reserved, regimented and prefers to work alone rather than with a group.

What are the communication and behavior styles?

The Relator is open in their communication style and the focus is on people. They are friendly and accommodating, democratic and supportive. However, they will give in under pressure and have a tendency to value the approval of others.

No matter whose approach you study, you will find that your behavior and communication style falls into one of four categories: The Socializer

Each one of us has a core style as well as a sub-style. As you begin to learn and understand your communication and behavioral style, you will be able to

The Commander The Thinker The Relator The Socializer is open in their communication style and the focus is on people. They are enthusiastic and creative, they love to talk, love being the center of attention and they are not much for details and organization.

recognize the different communication styles of others and adapt accordingly. This is a great skill to have because you will be seen as someone who can get along with others, work within a team and be seen as someone who can solve challenging problems.

The Commander is closed in their communication style and the focus is on tasks. They are highly verbal, directive, know how to inspire, yet like to be in control and can be pushy.

Gena Yuvette Davis, MBA, CCP is a passionate brand marketing and professional development expert. She is a published author and ezine freelance writer.

The Thinker is closed in their communication style and the focus is on tasks. They are

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The Benefits of List-Making When You’re Too Busy to Make Lists

By Casey Fry

They say time flies when you’re having fun,

endeavor. It can take a while to write down

but time seems to fly best when you have a

everything that you need to do, and even

million things to do and don’t know where to

more time to prioritize it. Sometimes you

start. When you have what feels like a

finish making up a list only to realize that

hundred things in your head that you need

you’ve skipped four or five different projects

to finish up right now, it can be hard to figure

that didn’t even occur to you, and now you

out where to start. Sometimes you end up

have to write the whole thing over.

doing a little bit of twelve different projects without actually finishing anything, and before you know it, it’s two o’clock in the morning and now you have to sleep, too.

When you feel overwhelmed by all that you have to do, and you can’t even begin to think

The benefits of having a list of things to do

of where to start, one of the greatest tools at

far outweigh the frustrations of making one.

your disposal is a pencil and a piece of paper.

True, prioritizing a list can require two or three different drafts before you feel you have it right, but once it’s finished, you will have a visual copy of all of the things scrabbling for attention in your brain.

How do you break it down, however? How

Sitting down and writing out the tasks you

do you decide what things take priority?

need to accomplish can be a daunting

What about the huge projects that take so

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long to do in comparison to that series of

Once you have your list prioritized and on

phone calls that you just want to put off

paper, it can feel like such a relief. That

because ew, talking on the phone?

tangled mess of frustration gnawing at you has been stretched out like a highway

Here are a few quick tips for making your

complete with road signs, and now all you

priority list a little easier to write:

need to do is drive down it and take the •

Break down the big projects.

proper ramps.

If you need to make a list just And don’t forget to mark off your tasks as

for a single project, then do it.

you complete them! Not only will it keep you

Once you have a list of

organized, as you won’t accidentally do a

smaller tasks you need to

task twice, but there’s a huge sense of

accomplish to get the whole

accomplishment to be gained just by writing

project done, it can seem a lot

a single checkmark. And if your list is a messy

less daunting.

•

jumble of marks and scribbled notes about

Pay attention to deadlines. If

follow-up,

you have one task due in two

you’ll

want

it.

You

might

be

pleasantly surprised by how much shorter

weeks and another in one month,

rewrite

your new list is in comparison. Go you!

to

prioritize the task that you have less time to work on.

•

Small

tasks

are

big

accomplishments. Those tiny tasks can build up to a massive list, but if you only have ten minutes before you have to leave the house, sometimes just sending out

Casey Fry,Author of Paranormal Mystery, Fantasy, & Horror

that email to your client can

http://www.caseyfryauthor.com

make you feel like you’ve gotten a lot done.

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CAROL BARNES in·dom·i·ta·ble adjective

impossible to subdue or defeat. "a woman of indomitable spirit"

When asked, “Who is Carol Barnes?”, she answered with a quote from Maya Anglou: “I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.”

And Carol Barnes is all that and more; a loving wife and mother of 2 beautiful daughters, a retired government employee and now a successful entrepreneur. Born and raised in Mississippi, Barnes is an alumnus of CTU, where she received her BS in Criminal Justice and Psychology. She worked as a police officer for the City of Dallas, where she stated that she learned so much from the streets during her time on patrol but decided to trade in her gun and badge for a pen and paper. She went to work for the Federal government and recently retired after over 29 years of traveling around the world as an elected official for the union. She specializes in EEOC, Labor Relations and Federal grievances. She is also certified in Conflict Resolution, Arbitration, Mediation.

But writing was always something Carol enjoyed, and she finally decided it was time to be serious and to take it to a new level. She is now the author of three books which are available online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble; I Won’t Apologize, I Did It On Purpose!, Is There Order In the 16

House, Financial Guide to Estate Planning, and Euroclydon, I’m Still Here, written by K’Ceva Barnes. Each publication will leave you doing a self-innerview to see where you are in your spiritual walk with the Lord. Barnes travels nationally as an Inspirational Speaker encouraging women to become better versions of themselves. Take the plunge and be who you are meant to be!

Inspired to promote reading in under-served communities, Barnes started Tomorrow’s Purpose, a 501 (c)(3), non-profit organization which assists youngsters in using their imaginations while honing their reading and writing skills. The first book was published in 2017 and Barnes expects more in the future.

Being inducted into the Who’s Who in Black Dallas, 2017 which recognizes black owned businesses and organizations that are doing great things in the community, was a great honor for Carol, as she was recognized for the fine works she is doing with Tomorrow’s Purpose, and her commitment to the advancement of literacy in our youth. Our children are our future, and eventually they will rise-up and lead the way, so we must educate them at an early age to understand the importance of education. In union with Rosa Parks, American civil rights activist, Barnes states: “I believe we are here on the planet earth to live, grow up and do what we can do to make this world a better place for all people to enjoy freedom.”

Carol and husband Kevin share a strong bond, a sense of giving back and sharing and it is not more evident than on their media-outlet radio talk and tv show, MY BETTER HALF with KEVIN & K’CEVA on www.powerplayradionetwork.com, which airs every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month from 7pm to 9pm.

They utilize their platform to promote their business as well as others small businesses in the community and individuals who have a story to tell, which can help other to stand up and move forward.

Contact Carol at www.tomorrowspurpose.org or carolb@tomorrowspurpose.org

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BUILDING CHARACTER

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By teaching at-risk students how to convert literacy (i.e. reading and writing skills) into self-published books, Tomorrow’s Purpose™ is using marketing, communication, and other 'soft skills' to link literacy to not only educational equity but just as important to our American value of having an entrepreneurial spirit.

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Chilled Carrot Soup with Garden Herbs This lovely autumn soup has a rich, smooth texture even though it contains no cream. For a picnic, bring the cold soup in a thermos and the chives in a plastic bag, and then serve in sturdy ceramic bowls.

6 tablespoons olive oil 5 large carrots, thinly sliced 2 1/2 cups thinly sliced onions 1 teaspoon dried thyme 1 teaspoon sucanat (organic cane sugar) 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg 4 cups vegetable broth 1/4 cup orange juice Chopped fresh chives Heat olive oil in large saucepan over medium heat. Add carrots and onions and sauté 4 minutes. Add thyme, sucanat and nutmeg; sauté until vegetables are tender, about 6 minutes. Add broth. Cover pot; simmer until carrots are very soft, about 25 minutes. Using slotted spoon, transfer vegetables to a food processor.

Add 1/4 cup cooking liquid. Puree vegetables until smooth. Return puree to pot. Stir in orange juice. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Chill. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Keep refrigerated.)

Sprinkle with chives.

Serves 6.

Steamed Green Beans with Tahini-Lemon Sauce Steam 2 cups green beans until they are bright green and still slightly firm. Serve drizzled with Tahini-Lemon Sauce.

Tahini-Lemon Sauce ¼-1/2 cup tahini ½ cup water or vegetable broth 1 clove garlic, crushed (optional) ½ cup lemon juice Sea salt or soy sauce to taste Combine all ingredients and beat well with a whisk or in a blender. It becomes thicker when whipped more. Yields 3-4 cups.

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Quinoa Tabouli 2 cups quinoa, rinsed well and soaked 4 cups water Two pinches of sea salt 1 cup peas 2 tomatoes, diced 2 cucumbers, diced 10 black olives cut in rings (optional) Chives, minced Parsley, minced 1 teaspoon each thyme and marjoram 6 tablespoons lemon juice Soy sauce to taste Combine quinoa, water, and salt in a pot, cover, bring to boil and simmer 20 minutes. Steam peas for one minute and place them in a ceramic bowl and mix with rest of ingredients. Add quinoa and gently toss all the ingredients together. Garnish with parsley sprigs. Serves 6.

Berry and Pear Delight

1 pint fresh strawberries, blueberries, and/or raspberries 1 pint pears, halved and cooked (these can be briefly steamed or baked until tender) 2 cups apple juice Âź teaspoon sea salt 1 bar agar-agar Fresh mint

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Throughout history, autumn has been a season of harvest and reflection. Many cultures around the world take time during this cooling season to give thanks for the bountiful yields of their fields and for loved ones they hold dear. These celebrations can be religious in manner or secular, but they all have one thing in common: they are cause for fun festivities and joyous thanksgiving! From religious processions to massive rubber duck races, there is a festival for almost every reason in the fall season.

Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival in Ireland Singles looking to mingle head to County Clare for this annual social mixer full of dancing, racing, and a chat with matchmaker Willie Daly. The festival is the oldest matchmaking event in Europe, drawing crowds of over 20,000 people to local pubs and hotels.

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Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta - Albuquerque, N.M. Each year, the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, N.M. attracts hot air balloon enthusiasts from around the world. The nine-day event welcomes more than 500 balloons each year in September, making it the largest hot air balloon festival in the world. This year’s festivities will begin on Oct. 3 and will include balloon rides, live music and light shows.

Spirit of Our Nations Pow Wow – Canada The annual Spirit of Our Nations Pow Wow held in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan in Canada. Each year the the Federation of Saskatchewan Indian Nations convenes in a colorful celebration that includes traditional dancing and events to honor their heritage. This year’s festivities will be held from Nov. 13 to 15.

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Nossa Senhora de Nazaré – Brazil On the second Sunday in October, Brazilians celebrate the country’s largest religious festival. It all revolves around the statue of Nossa Senhora de Nazaré, which is thought to have been sculpted in Nazareth. The statue is believed to have performed miracles in Portugal before it was lost in Brazil. To celebrate its rediscovery, Brazilians carry it on boats in an Amazon River procession that continues on solid land as the statue is driven through packed streets in a carriage Masskara Festival – Philippines In October, the people of Bacolod City in the Philippines get colorful with the celebration at Masskara Festival each year. This festival was born of the necessity to find happiness after grieving the loss of 700 lives during the MV Don Juan maritime tragedy in 1980. The “City of Smiles” decided to put a happy face on and today the tradition continues with bright and colorful costumes, masks and headdresses 25

Miss Guatemala USA, Edel Galvez, Loves MAR Hernandez Artisan Bags

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Every Day I LIVE My Dream.

Are You living yours?

I am Living the Dream, Melinda Cooper, LivingtheDreamBusiness.com

Mom hears voices in the attic and on the roof. What does that mean?

My youth was at times scary and chaotic on a regular basis. Such is mental illness.

By Deanna Blair

One in 5 American adults experiences some form of mental illness in any given year. And across the population, 1 in every 25 adults is living with a serious mental health condition such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or longterm recurring major depression.

The resulting suicide rate has quickly become one of the top 10 leading causes for death in the US. In more than half of the states, the rate increased more than 30% between 1999 and 2016, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found.

(CDC) The CDC found that 46% were of mental illnesses. 54% of people who committed suicide could be lower because people might have had a condition, but it wasn't diagnosed, or their loved ones might not have known about it.

Growing up with my mom being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia was extremely tough, considering I was 9 when she started acting different. It wasn’t always easy explaining to people what was wrong with her. I didn’t want to be ridiculed or feel like the other kids were talking about me behind my back. I wanted to fit in.

I know all too well of the stigma placed upon us for not being able to discuss what's going on in our families. I was constantly being told, “this will pass, everything will be ok”, “don’t talk about this to anyone”, but it is very difficult to keep this bottled up inside, especially as a young person. At the age of 10, I was thrown for a loop when my dad told me that he and my mom were getting divorced because my mom was sick…mentally sick. The divorce wasn’t my dad’s choice, it was my mom’s.

At the time, I really didn’t understand any of the situation, but I knew my parents fought often. I figured it would all work itself out just like it always had in the past, but I was wrong, it didn’t.

My dad kept telling me that my mom was hearing voices in our attic and up on the roof. I didn’t believe him, and I thought my dad was lying to me. When the divorce was final, I went to live with my mom for a few years while my brother lived with my dad. What a tough world I was getting ready to endure.

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After living with my mom for a couple years, I finally realized what my dad had been saying all along was true. My mom would hear voices and ask me if I heard them. My answer was always “no, I didn’t”, which always seemed a little scary. I finally moved back in with my dad. We would send my mom to the hospital with some success a couple of times; unfortunately, 25-30 years ago, the care was not the same as it is today. My mom, like so many people with mental illnesses, hated taking the medication because the pills made her feel worse, so she would completely stop taking them. When family offered to help her get back on track with her meds, she declined.

Over the years, mom has been very successful going to work and completing everything spot on without any complaints from management. Her main challenge comes from small insignificant occurrences, such as, her cable TV stops working, or the car has a dead battery; then she has a problem with the world.

Mental illnesses are medical illnesses. Every year people overcome the challenges of mental illness to do the things they enjoy. Through developing and following a treatment plan, one can dramatically reduce many of their symptoms. People with mental health conditions can and do pursue higher education, succeed in their careers, make friends and have relationships. Mental illness can slow you down, but you do not need to let it stop you.

When a person is living with a serious mental illness, the whole family may be affected, but it is not the family’s or the child’s fault.

Fortunately, over the last couple of years, people are starting to recognize that mental illness is a serious problem in our society and more are wanting to help. There are so many facilities and support groups that can help people in crisis. It's time to end the silence and the stigma of mental illness. We need to begin speaking up and realizing the problems when we see them. We cannot stay silent until a crisis happens.

Every year people overcome the challenges of mental illness to do the things they enjoy. Through developing and following a treatment plan, you can dramatically reduce many of your symptoms. People with mental health conditions can and do pursue higher education, succeed in their careers, make friends and have relationships. Mental illness can slow us down, but we don't need to let it stop us.

Top 25 HelpLine Resources NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illnesss - https://www.nami.org/ Psychology Today offers a national directory of therapists, psychiatrists, therapy groups and treatment facility options.

SAMHSA Treatment Locator provides referrals to low cost/sliding scale mental health care, substance abuse and dual diagnosis treatment. Phone: 800-662-4357 30

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention provides referrals to support groups, mental health professionals, resources on loss and suicide prevention information. Phone: 1-888-333-2377 The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24/7 crisis intervention, safety planning and information on domestic violence. Phone: 1-800-799-7233 The Suicide Prevention Lifeline connects callers to trained crisis counselors 24/7. They also provide a chat function on their website. Phone: 1-800-273-8255 Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) . Phone: 240-485-1001 Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) Phone: 800-233-4050 Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) Phone: 1-800-826-3632 International OCD Foundation provides information on OCD and treatment referrals. Phone: 617-9735801 Schizophrenia and Related Disorders Alliance of America (SARDAA) maintains the Schizophrenia Anonymous programs, which are self-help groups and are now available as toll free teleconferences.

Phone: 240-423-9432 TARA (Treatment and Research Advancements for Borderline Personality Disorder) offers a referral center for information, support, education and treatment options for BPD. Phone: 1-888-482-7227 National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Phone: 1-866-615-6464 HealthCare.gov provides specific information about coverage options in your state, includes private options, high risk pools and other public programs. Phone: 1-800-318-2596 Needhelppayingbills.com Partnership for Prescription Assistance helps qualifying individuals without prescription drug coverage get the medications they need.

National Bar Association provides a directory of state and local bar associations to help find legal representation. www.homelessshelterdirectory.org Job Accommodation Network Phone: 800-526-7234 2-1-1 Dial 2-1-1 for organizations that offer local support resources and services.

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Savor the Last Drops of Summer and Reduce Stress for Months

By Lisa Pasbjerg, DCSW

Have you felt that familiar feeling when you come back from vacation or see those first back-to-school sale ads, Oh no! It can't be over yet!? Most of us look forward to the longer days and slower pace of summer all year long only to find it flies by all too fast leaving us feeling wistful and longing to feel the ease that we feel during those short

ideas to prolong the sense of relaxation, less stress, and greater pleasure and fun that we experience during the summer months:

sweet months. Here are some of my favorite

and plan another vacation, even if it's only a

Tip Number 1: Plan another vacation! As soon as you come back from your last vacation of the summer, sit down with you spouse, partner, or family

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short weekend getaway in September or October. There's nothing like having

the weather, otherwise as the weather changes your good habit will be likely to fade

something else planned to erase that Call the fun is over feeling and often, fall is an even better time to go on vacation than the summer months. Beautiful and relaxing locations can be even more beautiful and relaxing, when the crowds are gone and serenity and greater privacy are yours.

away.

Tip Number 2:

vegetables, preferably locally grown and as close to fresh-picked as possible.

Tip Number 3: Revel in Summer Produce. Produce is wonderful and abundant at the end of summer. Revel in the colors, textures, and tastes of a large variety of fruits and

Keep up that summer activity level. Most of us are much more active during the summer months and often this leads to being (literally) lighter, having more energy, and sleeping better. All of these equal less stress.

Consider ways to make small modifications in your day which will allow you to continue at this level of physical activity. For instance, if you were swimming almost every day on vacation, research locations where you can swim regularly, and figure out how to build this into your week. Or, if you were walking on the beach every morning, or at sunset every evening, keep walking daily in your neighborhood, and, (very important), plan an alternate activity for days when it is too cold, too wet, etc. to do this. This substitute activity could be time on an elliptical machine in your basement, a stationary bike in your bedroom, or dancing to your favorite dance video in your living room. Be creative,

Current experts in nutrition and disease prevention now recommend that the ideal level of consumption of fruits and vegetables is 5-9 servings a day, even more than was previously thought. If there was ever a time to try out new recipes for fruits and vegetables, it would be now. With produce more available, fresher, and more delicious than at any other time of year, even nonvegetable lovers may be pleasantly surprised at how good they are, and how good they make them feel. And, preventing cancer is a

think about any option that is physical, vigorous and fun and is not dependent on

nice bonus!

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Bring back a small object, the more tactile the better, such as a smooth stone, a small shell from the beach, or a found feather that reminds you of your vacation.( In coaching we call this a structure.) Keep this object readily available and in plain sight on your desk.

Tip Number 4:

Several times a day pick up the object, hold it in your hands, (this is where the tactile part

Get Outside During Daylight Hours. Many people, even those who do not meet criteria for Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.), find their mood is negatively affected by lack of natural light. As the days get shorter, and you are back to spending most of your day at the office, make sure you build in time during the day to get that natural light that

comes in), close your eyes and visualize yourself in the most relaxed and peaceful place of your vacation. With your eyes still closed, breathe deeply, visualize all the details: the colors, the textures, the quality of the light sparkling on the water, or creating dark silhouettes against rich pastels at sunset.

we usually get in abundance in the summer, when there is more light, and we're outside more to enjoy it. Eat your lunch outside or take a twenty or thirty minute walk outside at lunch in order to make sure you get your daily dose of light. (It does not have to be sunny for you to benefit). Keep comfortable walking shoes, and socks if you need them, handy under your desk. Consider inviting people who want to talk to you to do a walking meeting during daylight hours and get a little work accomplished and your daylight at the same time!

Hear the sounds of the birds or the water, the laughter of the children chasing the lightning bugs. Smell the scents, whether the distinctive ocean tang of the wharf, the deep green woodsy scents of the forest, or the aroma of the fresh local foods from the grill.

Tip Number 5: Return to the Moment.

Give yourself a full 2-3 minutes to take 34

yourself back to this place, and to allow yourself to feel the same sense of peace,

Play every day. According to Chris Peterson, Ph.D. a professor at the University of

abundance, and deep relaxation of the best part of your vacation. Finally, acknowledge your gratitude for being here, having had such a wonderful experience, and being able to take it with you wherever you go.

Michigan School of Psychology and one of the foremost experts on positive psychology, There is a direct relationship between how happy people are, and how much play is in their lives: Think about what is play for you, whether time for reading for pleasure, riding a horse, listening to music, singing, or playing your instrument, poking around in your garden, or playing with your child or grandchild, and figure out how to increase the amount of play in your life. Just like when you are on vacation, make it a habit to have more fun and play in your life every day.

Take a couple slow breaths and open your eyes, return to your current location, but not without carrying the feeling of this moment back with you to access as needed as you go

Try incorporating as many of these tips into your life as possible now, in order to savor

about your day. Retrieve this micro-vacation as-needed as a part of each day, particularly those days when you may be feeling especially stressed or frazzled.

the last sweet drops of the summer long into the coming year. With practice, they will make you happier, and help you to carry forward the beauty and benefits of those wonderful summer months. Remember, you deserve it, and, it's good for your health!

Tip Number 6:

Lisa Pasbjerg, DCSW, is a life and professional coach She is founder and principal at FOCUSED COACHING at http://www.focusedcoaching.net. She is an author and ezine magazine contributor.

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Single Women Travel Tips

In the past decade the number of single women has more than doubled official figures reveal. Many have chosen to live an independent life rather than having a traditional husband. Also 1 in 5 women will never have children. Also 40% of all households with children under the age of 18 are the sole income earners. Only a few decades ago it was difficult, if not impossible, for a woman alone to take out a mortgage. These days more and more women are buying homes on their own. In recent surveys single women have made up between 16 and 22 percent of homebuyers. Women are now killing their own spiders, mowing their own lawns and repairing their own toilets, etc.

With these facts it is little wonder that the single travel industry is booming. Travel companies and tour companies now have to accommodate these 'freemales'. Lots of single travel tours are cropping up and holiday companies are designing holidays for this type of independent women. You only have to go on Google and type in 'single 36

women travel tours' to see thousands of dedicated websites vowing for the top spot. If you are modern women and want to travel the world on your own there are a few tips you should take to avoid and stumbles along the way: 1. Be prepared for the questions "Why are you travelling alone?" Many people will not understand your reasons for being single and wanting to travel alone. Being prepared for this question will put you in good stead and stop you getting caught off-guard or being bothered by the question.

2. Use your instinct. Women are a lot more sensitive and emotional than men, this means they have a far stronger gut feeling or instinct, so use it. If you feel unsafe, you're probably right and should move away. Perhaps you will get weird vibes from some chap in the pub.

If you feel uncomfortable and your alarm bells in your head are ringing, then get out of the potential danger.

3. If this is your first solo trip why not book with a pre-planned holiday tour company. As I said before there are literally thousands of companies designed for single female travelers. There will be someone to pick you up from the airport and take you to your hotel and then pick you up for tours. Some companies will put groups of single women on the same tour, so you will be in good company.

4. This is common sense but don't following strangers to out-of-the-way places or accept accommodation or lifts from men or women you don't know.

5. Don't wear flashy jewelry or expensive clothes' in public places as it will show people you have a lot of money. You will be more of a target for robbers if you flash your bling.

6. Make sure you know what the emergency number of the country you are visiting and make sure you have a mobile phone charged on you at all times.

7. Some cultures believe a woman travelling alone is considered available. To avoid unwanted attention, you could wear a false wedding ring.

8. Tell some friends and family your plans and check back with them every now and then.

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9. Be prepared by having photocopies of your passport, ID and travel insurance.

10. If you're worried about your lack of self-defense skills, why not take a basic class before your trip. This will give you more confidence in travelling solo.

Finally, don't be scared. If you have chosen a single life by your own decisions, then you are probably a very confident person full stop. Being alone can be and is fun. Ignore what your 'coupled' friends say about serial killers and rapists. Don't let them put you off because they think it’s dangerous. Couples can come into trouble just as easily as single people travelling. Use your common sense and play it safe. You will have a complete blast doing exactly what you want to do and when you want to do it.

P and P Tours run unique escorted tours [http://www.pandptours.co.uk/elite-escorted-tours/] in England where all the guides are women ideal for solo travelling [http://www.pandptours.co.uk/solo-travel-tours/].

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At times, you can easily resent what life has given you. You may focus on what you don't have or what you can't do, which brings you down and deflates your energy. Instead, it is necessary to focus on what you do have and what you can do and to feel gratitude for this. If you believe it's impossible, it's impossible; if you believe it's possible, it's definitely possible! "It's a lie to think we are not good enough or not worthy of anything. Attitude is altitude!"

Our journeys are unique. You may get a different number of days, months and years to live, you may have different issues you have to deal with that shape your life, but never give up. It's all about making the effort to get up and keep going. If you get up more often than you fall, then you can never fail. Optimism is a high-voltage power tool to have in your life skills toolbox, for optimists know how to bounce back and how to see difficulties as only temporary setbacks. Know you can't miss!

Dr. Carla, www.zenwellnessacademy.com

Overwhelmed by News Media?

By Ashley Berges

How can we cope with the overwhelming amount of news and media and actually do something

to

better

this

world?

Do you feel overwhelmed more often than not? Do you feel as though there are so many things to do and so little time to do them?

Let’s begin by putting things into perspective, rating issues based on personal importance, and understanding the value we can bring to the problem to be an essential part of the solution. What is most important to me?

How can I be of service to help others in my community, in my state, and even in the world?

We all need an outlet that offers help and support to others in their time of need whether human, animal, or plant. I believe we owe it to ourselves to help others. Helping others brings a feeling of wellbeing and happiness. When we get outside of ourselves, and help another human being or animal in need, we begin to see a much bigger dynamic and spiritually charged picture.

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Who do we help first? What connects with your heart? What are the issues that make you actually cry because you want to change the situation? I personally help others to locate their true identity. The identity you came into this Earth with and that identify was augmented in some ways. More often than not, we have low self-esteems based on our upbringing, our childhood, and our current adult life. Instead of realizing our true innate value that should gleam from us like sunlight, we see the dark, depressed, and lack that we use to define ourselves. I pride myself in helping others to see their value, to embrace it, and to actually begin to value it. When we realize our value, we make life choices that are at our highest good. Instead of the usual choices that devalue us, take us down, and make us feel bad. One size doesn’t fit all, we all bring something to life’s table that we do better than anyone else.

What is your Super Hero skill? We all have one thing we do better than anyone else on the planet, what is that for you? In order to realize this, you must realize your value first. Once you’ve realized your value, you then must put your ego and pride aside. Once those two barriers to authentic reality are put aside, then and only then can we truly identify God’s gifts that they/them bestowed upon us. Once you identify this gift or gifts you are on your way to discovering a new path to enlightenment that will catapult you into the driver’s seat of giving back and adding value to your life. The trick is to not get overwhelmed by everything and to put the world’s causes into perspective and to realize where you can help. We all have a special skill, a super hero skill that we have mastered, unveil it to the world and help others with it!

Simple ways of quieting the outside world: Remember, you can watch as much or as little of news/media as you want.

Do your part.

Don’t underestimate your part.

There’s power in numbers.

We are here for a definite reason/reasons.

Find your super hero skill and use it to help others.

Ashley Berges is a Dallas-based life coach, family therapist, and syndicated radio talk show host of Perspectives with Ashley Berges, which can be heard on 570 AM KLIF and 660AM KKSY. www.ashleyberges.com.

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