femmes UNDER 40 Winter 2018 by femmes INTERNATIONAL Magazine

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JUMPSTART SOCIAL MEDIA VISIBILITY IN 2018 with my 2 Day Visibility Bootcamp! Do you want to get seen… and increase your visibility in the new year? This past year, did you promote, maybe made a few videos and wrote great Facebook posts... but barely got any engagement, didn’t gain any new clients, and feel like more people should know who you are by now? If so, this workshop will change how you view and do your visibility marketing. You want to hit the ground with a bang in 2018, really step up your visibility and make good money doing the meaningful work you were made to do!

JOIN US & Make the Change, So You Are SEEN! WORKSHOP THEME… ARE YOU DISCOVERABLE: EVALUATION, EDUCATION, TIPS/TOOLS FOR BEST SUCCESS OF YOUR BRAND ENGAGING INTERACTIVE EXERCISES TO IMPROVE RECOGNITION LIVE ACTION ONLINE TO SHOWCASE YOUR BUSINESS REAL ACTIVITIES TO TEACH YOU HOW TO ACHIEVE THE BEST WEBSITE & SOCIAL MEDIA RESULTS SPECIFIC TO YOUR BRAND.

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Letting Go to Grow by Ashley Berges

I’ve learned to let go of the things that no longer benefit me in my life. It has taken a lifetime to understand the thought process to metaphorically clean house. I began realizing years ago that friendships and relationships change and some don’t necessarily last. Some of our relationships are here for a season, a season in time. Other relationships are here for the long haul however in the evolution of the relationship many things can change. When we allow ourselves to be fluid within our relationships, we can be the teacher, the student, the helper, the inspiration, and even the caregiver.

The more authentic and real we become the more authentic and real our friends need to be. The more truth and understanding resides in your life the more it needs to reside in the people you spend your time. When we care about our life and care about being honest, we have a difficult time spending time with those who overlook honesty and haven’t found their truth. It’s not about judgement it’s about honesty. When a person is not ready to be honest with them self their is nothing you can do. You can only focus on yourself and your own honesty. We can’t change people, we can impress others, inspire others, but we can’t change them. To change others would be antithetical to authentic living. However, when we do by example, we can inspire others to live more fulfilling lives.

On the flip side some relationships aren’t pushing us in a good way, they aren’t impacting our purpose positively, and to some degree they are holding us back. These relationships had a purpose but no longer serve a constructive purpose. When it comes to these, particular relationships, find and expand on a new commonality or move on, spending less time together frees up more time to meet other people going the same direction as you. We change and our perspective and direction change, and when we’ve made a clear lasting change we must walk the walk and talk the talk.

Besides reevaluating our relationships, a good next step is to let go of old ways of thinking. Old ways of thinking tend to hold us back. We tend to be limited in our beliefs and limited in our ability per our thoughts. When we examine our thoughts, we must find the thinking that doesn’t hold value. Often the thinking that holds you back or the “negative broken record” that

resides in your head is what takes you away from living your purpose. Often the negative broken record judges and states comments about our inability, our shortcomings, and our failures. It’s not until we inspect this “negative broken record” to realize why we self-sabotage and why we are scared of success and our future work. When we let go of the old ways of thinking and begin to stop finding self-fault, we begin to live a much happier and healthier life. In addition, when we begin to substitute forward positive thinking in place of the negative record, we reap big personal rewards. Just as important as letting go of the old ways of thinking is letting go of the old habits we hold onto.

was constantly thinking of smoking and spent a large portion of my day outside. This habit was counterproductive in my growth and got in the way of my work and social life. Are you currently holding onto a habit that is getting in the way of a positive purpose driven lifestyle? Are you ready to find ways to let it go and move on with your life? Just the very ability to accept that you want to make a change is profound on your mind and heart. The next hurdle is taking steps to cut the habit out of your life. Last, but not least, once you’ve let these relationships, thoughts, and habits go, it’s time to see you for you. See the magnificence of you, your unique qualities. When we begin to embrace our self, we begin to find love for our self. That self-love is at our hierarchy of needs. Once you are able to love thy self you are able to do anything. This love is not narcissistic, it’s genuine respect and love for your body and soul. We come in this world on our own and leave on our own. And when we accept that, and realize getting to know ourselves is paramount, we can begin to find the things within us that propel us forward. We then realize the power we possess and how we can be more powerful by moving past that which is in our life that is no longer working.

Some say that old habits die hard and they may, however until we are ready to let go of our old habits, we are unable to fully succeed. Often the old habits are holding us down. What’s holding you back in life? What habits are keeping you in the old way of thinking? Often our old habits keep us from being fully authentic and real. With regards to any habit that doesn’t make you better, it’s time to reevaluate the necessity of the habit. I quit smoking several years back because the habit took control of my life. I

Ashley Berges, syndicated radio host, author, speaker, Live Your True Life, http://www.ashleyberges.com/

Rising femme Eudora Barnes

Tell me something about your life...an experience that maybe affected your life path. Dec 26, 2015 (the day after Christmas), my family's home was hit by a category 5 tornado in Texas. The devastation was incredible. Never in my life did I think that I would have an experience as such. Contrary to the negative, I am thankful for it and grateful to still being alive to tell my testimony. It has affected my life in such a positive way! I know that life is not promised and the material things that I have don't matter. Live life to the fullest and love on your loved ones daily!

What is your passion? When did you know it was a passion? My passion is truly helping others. I discovered this when I was just a little girl and it gives me such pleasure to assure those around me are taken care of and not in need. There's no greater feeling than making in difference in the lives of other people.

What do you believe in? As a young woman, what is important to you in the world you will help shape? At this point in my life, I believe in God, love, and women empowerment. All three of those beliefs make the world go around! My faith truly sustains me and helps to motivate those around me, women empowerment is just that, acknowledgement that women can do whatever they want and are not less than the next. My mother is a perfect example of this and an inspiration to me daily. And finally... We are nothing without LOVE!!

How do you give back to your community? I am big on community and wholeheartedly believe in reach one, teach one. You cannot make it in life without helping others. Heavily involved in ministry, I worked in nursing homes, hospitals, schools, Where I am needed is where I am willing to serve. Giving back is what makes a community and helps our world become a better place. And I want a better world for all of us and if we each contribute in any small way, it becomes a more tolerant peaceful coexistence.

Can you give us a quote that has meaning to you? I have two: "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room" and "The best way to predict your future is to create it." My belief is that you never stop learning. If you feel like you are the smartest person where ever you go, or that you cannot learn something from others, then you miss the opportunity to expand your thinking. We can all give and learn from each other. On top of that, I feel that everyone has the opportunity to create their own future, so I love this quote for many reasons. We all have the capacity to succeed in anything that we want. Remove the excuses and affirm your way to the future. The world is your palette so paint away!

Rising femme Lou Schieffelin

You recently ran for Miss Florida Teen USA. Why did you want to do this? Not only am I proud to be a titleholder, but I am proud to be a teen in this great USA! My goal is to represent my title, my city, my family, and myself with poise, compassion, leadership, a positive attitude, humility, and with words, actions, and deeds that exude being a “Confidently Beautiful” role model. Titleholders have the unique ability to open eyes and hearts through the visibility and voice of the crown. I will use these priceless commodities to spread the message of the importance of community service and the pursuit to end distracted driving – STAY ALIVE: Don’t Text and Drive. I feel confident that I am ready for the next step as an advocate for the Miss Florida USA organization. I believe the young woman chosen for this responsibility should possess that “it” factor that everyone recognizes, but finds hard to describe. Miss Florida Teen USA 2018 will represent the best of contemporary young women. What was your first modeling job? I’ll never forget my first professional booking as a young model was when I was 12 years old and on the cover and on the inside of the American Girl Doll Catalog for the month of May. Even more exciting was seeing my parents’ reaction when we traveled to New York City to the American Girl Doll Superstore on 5th Avenue and saw the cover and pictures of me blow-up to a larger than life size and hanging in all of the store windows. I will never forget being only 12 years old and having that opportunity to be looked up to by young girls. How do you give back in your community? Community Peer Educator – It’s important to support each other! I began educating my peers at 14 with bracelets and balloons in my Sunday school class about texting and driving after a girl’s life lost too soon made an impact on me forever. Now at 17, I have created a major awareness campaign STAY ALIVE: Don’t Text and Drive, educating hundreds through middle school presentations, community awareness, and newly supported Government outreach with my change in Legislation with the proposition of a new Florida bill. High School Peer Mediator - A position where those who are struggling in the social aspect of school find a safe place to be expressive and comfortable through conversation with a select few that have learned to become good listeners. Wounded Warrior Touch a Pup - A fun event I helped organize to support the children and families who are under great stress of having a wounded family member, enjoy the company of loving animals. Fantastic Life Choices – I was the first Junior Director of Marketing for the National Book Series written by a diverse group of Kindergarten to 5th grade writers and illustrators. The book series was launched into the North East Public-School Systems. What is your passion for your future? My goal is to become a National Merit Finalist and graduate high school with collegiate honors. I have been preparing to attend an Ivy League University to obtain a major in Business Administration (MBA) on a pre-law track. I respect our nation’s democracy and look forward to the opportunity to then enroll in Law School. My ambition is to be involved in our political system to make a difference and ultimately become a Florida State Senator What have you done that makes you proud? Global Service Award presented by The United Nations - received for efforts with the Dr. Jane Goodall Institute for building solar powered school houses and clean drinking wells in Mali, Africa. Honored by the Florida Board of Education as a “Top Ten Teens to Watch” for academic and community service efforts. Completed to date over 700 Hours of Community Service. 13

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The Affirmation Whisperer By Lauren Wulz

Here I was, after 20 years in Corporate America—very successful years, I must add— and, the same 20 years as a single mother raising three beautiful over-achieving daughters—yes, here I was STUCK! I knew I wanted to make a change, to make a difference in this world and help others that might be struggling like I had in those early years, or who might be feeling stuck in a mid-life awakening like me! I had just returned from a spiritual retreat in Costa Rica where I married the man of my dreams, in the setting of my dreams—and during the entire trip, my constant expression became “Life is Grand!”

was, my entire identity was wrapped up in my corporate work. I had to reinvent myself, in order to, fulfill my own life dreams. And so, I did. I became “The Affirmation Whisperer.” Helping people discover what they want more of in their lives, or out in the world, and then affirming it over and over became my passion. My Power Penny ™ pieces are simply power objects that you can carry next to your heart to continue to affirm your dreams. (You can’t carry the bathroom mirror with you, after all). Here is a very brief story of how I am helping make a difference:

I decided then that I would begin taking small steps, baby steps to begin making a difference. I did not know how or why, but I visualized myself once again living life on my own terms, knowing that the more I gave, the more I would receive, and I began looking at my options. I originally was simply making t-shirts that said, “Life is Grand.” I would have an online website that sold goods and services that helped make life grand for others. And we would donate a portion of our proceeds. But, I would keep working my corporate job… or not! Eventually, the Universe made it very clear that I was no longer supposed to be in corporate, after being let go by my last three employers after six months (Well, I was kind of preoccupied with building Life is Grand on the side…). Thanks to my minister, I realized that if I kept doing the same thing, I would keep getting what I had always gotten. I had to make a change. At that very moment, I was presented an opportunity that I took full advantage of, and I trained with Mike Dooley to become a Certified Infinite Possibilities Trainer, helping people learn how to live the life of their dreams! And my Life is Grand jewelry was inspired by my husband writing affirmations on my bathroom mirror during my months of struggling with the question, “Now, what am I going to do?” As it

Knowing that our thoughts become the things and events in our lives, I gifted a woman one of my chunky style, two-penny affirmation necklaces. Abundance and Worthy. The next day, she was struck with the realization that she was, in fact, truly Worthy of Abundance. She began to open her heart and within a two or three-day time frame, the Universe had presented her with huge opportunities that were and are forever changing the direction of her life--and her dreams of heightened success are being realized. Being ever-so-grateful for my small gift, this woman has blessed my life in more ways than I can explain. You see, the Grand Stand (Grand stands for) Gratitude Reinforces And Nurtures Dreams. This is the true premise for Life is Grand. The giving is the gift (whether a gift to self, a loved one or random act of kindness) and giving is receiving. I am Lauren Wulz and I am living a grand life!

Lauren Wulz, Founder and President, Life is Grand and Certified Trainer of Infinite Possibilities, lifeisgrand.com

Slavery in the 21st Century A look at the unnoticed and overlooked rise of the sex trafficking industry by Elaine Parrish

Sex trafficking has become a thriving industry, both in the United States and globally. Massive profits and unbridled demand for sex services has led to commodifying of human beings and has established sex trafficking as a modern‐day form of slavery. And the numbers are mind‐ boggling! According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds.

The United States Advisory Council on Human Trafficking established the Justice for Victims of Trafficking Act in May of 2015. Then, on December 16, 2015, President Obama appointed 11 members to the United States Advisory Council on Human Trafficking. The appointees came from a diverse set of backgrounds and experiences, and each is a survivor of human trafficking, bringing their own unique perspectives and experiences to bear. Then, on February 23, 16

2017, President Trump pledged to bring the full force of the government to helping rid the U.S. of this crime. Still, there is much work to be done!

In earlier times, brothels, bars and massage parlors were the settings for engaging in sex crimes. Today, victims are exploited in hotels and apartments where there is less visibility. Once under the control of the trafficker, it is increasingly difficult for the victim to escape. Widespread awareness of the traffickers’ manipulative practices is imperative. Victims must start to know they can safely report coercion and abuse; and housing and counselling for those who do manage to escape must be made available.

Though sex trafficking is prohibited by U.S. law and by statute in most countries, it is estimated that 21 million people were trafficked for sex in 2016 with estimated profits of $32 billion! Human trafficking has surpassed the illegal sale of arms and will surpass the illegal sale of drugs over the next few years.

Because of lingering shame and a social stigma, victims remain silent. It is estimated that only 6 of every 1,000 perpetrators of sexual crimes ever enter prison. Social conditioning has created an environment where people simply look the other way. We’ve all read and heard about accusations of sexual abuse by noted celebrities such as Casey Affleck, Bill Cosby, Roman Polanski, Woody Allen, Mike Tyson, Kobe Bryant, Paul Reubens and others. Yet, they win awards and continue to live robust lives while those who have accused them are often rebuked and discredited. So, most victims remain silent and captive to their abusers.

Governments around the globe have enacted laws that criminalize trafficking and have established protection and prevention efforts to raise public consciousness and to help victims to rebuild their lives. Still, millions are coerced, manipulated and exploited. In too many countries there is little to no evidence of any significant effort to investigate, prosecute, and/or convict traffickers or to provide assistance to victims. Traffickers use violence and threats or promises of jobs, money for school and romance. Poverty, isolation, joblessness and abusive or stressed living conditions help create a rich environment for traffickers. Runaways and homeless teens are frequent targets. It is estimated that 76 percent of transactions for sex with underage girls start on the Internet. Child trafficking victims come from all backgrounds; ages range from 1 to 18 years.

The consequences to victims are devastating, especially for children. They suffer long‐term physical and psychological trauma, disease, addiction, social isolation, unwanted pregnancies and death. Having already endured a life of sex slavery, those who are rescued are doubted and demeaned and find it difficult to recover from the abuse they have suffered and the rejection they encounter as they attempt to re‐enter society.

While it is helpful that laws have been put in place, focus still must be placed on (1) stopping people from being coerced into slavery situations and (2) helping them recover once they are rescued.

As awareness builds, industries, organizations and individuals are beginning

to get involved, and they are making a difference!

On March 25, Alicia and Treasured Vessels Foundation will host the Inaugural Stix and Brix Event to bring the community together to learn about child sex trafficking in the Dallas area and what each of us can do to help. Tiffany Hendra of Real Housewives of Dallas and Creator of Sanctuary of Style will emcee, and Withelma “T” Ortiz Walker Pettigrew, a Survivor Leader and nationally recognized policy consultant will educate attendees on this horrific crime and what can be done to stop it. Previously, she specialized in developing strategies to end domestic child sex trafficking, reforming the child welfare, juvenile justice and mental health systems and implementing policies and practices to ensure that all vulnerable children have an opportunity to thrive. Named by TIME magazine one of the "100 Most Influential People in the World" in 2014 and one of the "30 People Under 30 Changing the World" in 2013, T was also honored by Glamour magazine as a "Woman of the Year" in 2011.

Airline Ambassadors International became inspired to get involved in 2009 when they learned about human trafficking amidst the rescue of an abandoned child in Cambodia. In 2011, they premiered a training program and have subsequently provided more than 40 trainings to 4,000+ airline personnel. Their curriculum has been adopted by the International Tourism Management Bureau. Flight attendants are taught to report suspects to the pilot, and the pilot calls ahead so that authorities can be notified to meet the plane. U.S Immigration and Customs Enforcement arrested 2,000 human traffickers and identified 400 victims in 2016.

To learn how you can get involved and help build houses and provide much needed counselling for these young girls, join us at the Stix and Brix Event on March 25, or go to www.treasuredvesselsfoundation.org.

Alicia Bush intends for that to change! In 2015, she founded Treasured Vessels Foundation. She is on a mission and has secured over 20 acres north of Dallas on which she intends to build a secure facility to house, rehabilitate, and shape a successful future for females ages 12‐17 rescued from sex trafficking in the DFW area. She is aligning with organizations that can help ensure comprehensive care and therapy as these girls heal and restore hope.

If you or someone you know is a victim of Sex Slavery and needs a safe place to go, the National Hotline for help is help@humantraffickinghotline.org. Submit tips on sex trafficking at: www.humantraffickinghotline.org

Elaine Parrish is President and CEO of Parrish Executive Resources ParrishER@tx.rr.com

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.” Oprah Winfrey

“The question isn’t who is going to let me – it’s who is going to stop me?”

Ayn Rand

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all woman.” Maya Angelou

“I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading.” Amy Poehler “A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman.” Melinda Gates “I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a b****, okay.” Madonna “If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat.” Sheryl Sandberg

POWER IS THE NEW PRETTY Embracing Our Inner Strength

By Tamara Batsell

Power can mean so many things to so many people. It can be a physical strength, mental toughness, or a controlling influence. To have power one often has the influence of others. And somewhere along the journey a certain confidence is bestowed.

Power along with pretty are labels that are strongly desired in this society. From the perspective of a woman pretty comes with some privilege. Have you ever witnessed someone who was considered by societal standards as attractive, be given ‘perks’ that were not extended to others? I can vividly remember in my younger years when I would go out and at certain clubs the personnel would walk the line that had formed and hand-pick the ‘pretty people’ to gain entrance while others remained in line. Have you ever felt like that person left in line? Ignored and left-out is not a good feeling, especially if it’s totally out of your control with no recourse.

But with time comes change. Although I don’t experience those lines anymore I have seen where women of power are now entering the doors before everyone else. To see a woman, stand in her truth, the good, bad and the ugly is highly attractive. Women such as Oprah and Sheryl Sandberg (COO of Facebook) are blazing paths of power and commanding attention. Being intelligent and a person of conviction is ‘pretty’ darn powerful. Finding your voice and inner strength exudes an attraction. Don’t you like people who are able to laugh at themselves but make you feel special? Positive self-talk and daily affirmations lead to internal strength and manifest our intentions. Being true to yourself and loving who and what you see in the mirror may take time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Be kind to yourself. Remember there’s some one out in the universe who wishes they were in your position. Embrace who you are and know that you are stronger than you can even imagine. I think we may have a best-selling tshirt…

‘Power Is the New Pretty’

Tamara Batsell 40+ Fashion/Lifestyle Blogger Website: www.tbstyleworks.com Email: www.tamara@tbstyleworks.com

3 Tips for Producing Your First Online Marketing Video By Marian LaSalle If you're a small business owner or want to communicate with an online audience, you should consider video marketing. Video marketing is creating more revenue than any other marketing method and when you use it in combination with written content, you will definitely see the difference. In video marketing you will test, analyze, test again and then tweak to get an awesome video presence. According to Forbes, company executives would rather watch video than read text. I bet that most people feel this way because watching a video is faster and keeps the viewer’s attention longer. Using video on landing pages can increase conversions as well. Why? Because video allows you to connect with your customers in a totally different manner. It allows individuals to see and engage with you (or your business) before they are sold on what you have to offer. I proudly present my Top 3 Tips for Producing Your First Online Marketing Video. 1. Pay attention to light and sound. If you're using a cell phone or video camera, make sure you are in a quiet location to prevent the background noise from distracting your viewer. Before you start filming, make sure you are not going to be interrupted by ringtones, lawn mowers, barking dogs, construction noise or people chatting in the background. Additionally, ensure your camera is near the subject so the audio portion can be heard clearly. If you're using a camera which will allow an external microphone connect then look into these sound enhancing options. You can try different types of microphone: a shotgun mic, lapel mic, handheld mic or a wireless external mic. 2. Be short and to the point. Do you know what WIFM means? It’s an acronym for “What's in it for ME.” It means your

viewers want to know what's in it for them. So… get to the point and then share your information (details) later. Present your message with your audience in mind. Their time is valuable and let's face it, if they get bored, they’ll click you off and go on to the next video within the first few minutes or seconds. Viewers don't want to waste time watching a hard sales pitch, a boring commercial or a misleading message. 3. CTA or Call to Action. Make sure to include your contact information. Give the viewer a good reason to visit your store, call you, like you on your Facebook business page, sign up for your FABULOUS newsletter or visit your informative website. Think of other ways they can connect with you. Give them the opportunity to follow you on Twitter, read your blog or ask questions in an email. Encourage your viewers to follow‐up with you in a quick and easy manner. Video can be a powerful tool in communicating with your current or potential customers. Just this week I received a glowing testimonial from a client who said he's thrilled about the new clients he's getting. All new clients from the videos we produced for his website. He's had such an increase in business he's asked us to record a video every month for him. The first video was an introduction on his front page, so people could get to know him. Know, Like and Trust is what your customers want, and video is the easiest way to accomplish this. If you have any questions or would like to see some of the videos I have produced, please visit my website. If you like what you see, contact me and we can talk about your online success. Marian LaSalle, Agency258.com, #marketing, promotions, video introduction, live streaming

Can Technology Address Business Travel Concerns?

The Association of Corporate Travel Executives and American Express Global Business Travel have released a study of travel trends including security and the so‐called sharing economy. The ‘Checking In: Servicing the Multifaceted Modern Business Traveler report considers the greatest concerns and stress for business travelers as well as the digital trends employed to address these. Security Among the security concerns expressed is the risk of corporate data breach. This is a concern which becomes even more relevant as the electronics ban in some markets separates corporate travelers from their electronic devices. According to the ACTE‐ GBT survey 31% of buyers say they’ve seen traveler enquiries about data

  

security increase over the past three months, but few companies have “coherent policies in place” to manage these questions. 58% percent of companies say employees can use their personal devices for business communications. 64% say travellers can access public WiFi with their business devices 47% percent allow the use of non‐purged laptops and devices while on the road. Security worries stretch to changing travel conditions around the world, highlighting a need for consistency in the application of technology at security checkpoints. More than half (54%) of passengers also expressed concerns about the US border and immigration process, and 44% expressed concerns about the security of air travel in general. Keen to apply Business travelers surveyed seem eager to use travel technology to simplify the journey and keep them up‐to‐date as the trip evolves. 63% are using booking apps. 66% rely on trip information apps. 58% use travel and expense management apps. Non‐traditional travel options Business travelers are also interested in taking advantage of the sharing economy for ground transport. The use of ride sharing services has increased by 44% over the past six months while traditional car rentals and premium black cars are down 18% and 32% respectively. However, their interest in shared accommodation has softened somewhat or reached a ceiling. Only 16% of buyers say that they saw an increase in usage of services like Airbnb over the past six months. Keep it simple The most important priority for business travelers is the application of technology which addresses the stress felt during the journey and eliminates uncertainty. More than anything else, business travelers want certainty. They want to arrive to their destination on time, have a reliable in‐flight experience, have comfortable accommodations, and perhaps most importantly, have the flexibility to adapt to conditions on the ground. The task for buyers will be to leverage the right tools and resources to meet these demands and alleviate the stresses of travel without breaking the bank. 25

Living the Dream Through Forgiveness By Anne Miner “What has forgiveness to do with living the dream?” Let me explain. Living the dream suggests we have arrived at a state of happiness and wellbeing to which all humans aspire. A life we have dreamt of or longed for which is free of anger, anxiety, hurt, guilt, shame, regret, and resentment…To reach that goal, we must let go of negative feelings that prevent us from living the dream, and that my friend, is where forgiveness comes in. What is forgiveness? Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, gives us this definition: “When unjustly hurt by another, we forgive when we overcome the resentment toward the offender, not by denying our right to the resentment, but instead by trying to offer the wrongdoer compassion, benevolence, and love; as we give these, we as forgivers realize that the offender does not necessarily have a right to such gifts.” By Dr. Enright’s definition, not only do we need to forgive others, we need to forgive ourselves. This does not mean we are accepting the behavior or denying that it was hurtful. Nor does it not mean the injured person is not entitled to an apology or some form of compensation. In other words, forgiveness does not mean what was done is “OK”. But rather it means we should let go of the need for the apology or the compensation, and let go of the negative feelings related to the incident. In “Tuesdays with Morrie” (Mitch Albom, Doubleday, 1997), Morrie Schwartz advises us to forgive everyone, everything. In fact, he suggests we must first learn to forgive ourselves, for if we cannot forgive ourselves we may not be able to forgive others. When we hold onto resentment, anger, hurt, guilt, shame, regret and other negative feelings, we block our own path to living the dream. These feelings are harmful to us, much more harmful than they are to the people we need to forgive. Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Recently, I observed a family struggling with feelings of anger, resentment and even hatred towards a father they had once loved; a father they blamed for robbing them of their opportunity to live the dream. While it is true that the father had made some unfortunate choices and said, and done, things that would have been hurtful to anyone, his children’s inability to forgive him is the true barrier. Until they find it in their hearts to forgive him, and forgive themselves for the role they played in the conflict, no one will be able to enjoy living the dream. Know that forgiveness is a choice. It can be learned. It may take practice, but it will lead you to greater peace, happiness and the opportunity to join those who are truly, living the dream! Anne Miner, the Dunvegan Group, the Platinum Rule

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Jalapeno Cranberry Sauce 12 ounces fresh cranberries 1 1/2 cups sugar 1 cup water 1 jalapeno, seeds and membrane removed, chopped fine zest of one orange juice of one orange 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon several gratings of fresh nutmeg Place all ingredients together in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium low, cover but with the lid cracked open a little, and simmer until the cranberries have popped and the mixture has cooked down to a sauce consistency. It will thicken as it cools. {This is the sauce that Dear Old Dad exclaimed at Thanksgiving, "is so good it should be bottled and sold". The very dad who refuses to knowingly (wink-wink) eat anything with a jalapeno in it.}

Rum Raisin Cookies 1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1/2 cup dark brown sugar 2 large eggs, beaten 1 1/2 tablespoons rum 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 2 cups dark raisins

Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt. Set aside. In a small bowl, toss the raisins with a couple of large spoonfuls of the flour mixture and set aside. In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Add the eggs and continue to mix until they are thoroughly incorporated into the butter. Add the rum and briefly stir. Add the flour mixture to the mixing bowl and on the lowest setting, stir just until the flour is combined with the butter. Pour in the raisins and give the dough a quick stir. Chill the dough (in the mixing bowl) for about 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 350*F. Drop large spoonfuls of dough onto ungreased cookie sheets and bake 9 to 10 minutes. Transfer the cookies to wire racks to cool. Makes about 4 dozen cookies.

Becca Menig, www.from3906.blogspot.com

Squash Gratin two pats of butter 5 or 6 medium yellow (summer-crookneck) squash 1/2 of a medium yellow onion a pinch of sugar 1 teaspoon salt several grinds of black pepper 1/2 teaspoon paprika several grinds of fresh nutmeg 4 tablespoons sour cream 2 eggs, beaten 3/4 cups fresh bread crumbs, divided

Lightly coat two gratin dishes with the pats of butter and set aside. Wash the squash and cut them into large chunks. Place them in a medium size pot, cover with water and gently boil until a knife can easily pierce each one. Drain and allow to cool a little. Chop half of a medium onion and place the them in a large bowl. Add the squash. With a sharp knife, roughly cut the pieces of squash to a smaller size. Leave any liquid that accumulates in the bowl. Season the squash with the sugar, salt, black pepper, nutmeg and paprika. Add the sour cream, eggs and 1/4 cup of the bread crumbs, stirring to combine. Fill each dish with the squash, topping with the remaining 1/3 to 1/2 cups of bread crumbs. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for about 30 minutes or until the tops are brown. makes two gratins

FROM 3906

I believe each day gives us something; a few minutes of afternoon light casting intricate shadows on a dining room wall, or a delicious Pesto because the basil got knee-high. Maybe some things broke my heart....... I write about them all. My name is Becca. I live in Dallas but I left my heart in Florence, Italy. I'd like to thank you for reading.

From3906.blogspot.com

ADVENTURE TRAVEL in OUR NATIONAL PARKS Adventure travel is a type of niche tourism, involving exploration or travel with a certain degree of risk, and which may require special skills and physical exertion. Bon Voyage!

Grand Canyon National Park, in Arizona, is home to much of the immense Grand Canyon, with its layered bands of red rock revealing millions of years of geological history. Viewpoints include Mather Point, Yavapai Observation Station and architect Mary Colterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lookout Studio and her Desert View Watchtower. Lipan Point, with wide views of the canyon and Colorado River, is a popular, especially at sunrise and sunset.

Yellowstone National Park is a nearly 3,500-sq.-mile wilderness recreation area atop a volcanic hot spot. Mostly in Wyoming, the park spreads into parts of Montana and Idaho too. Yellowstone features dramatic canyons, alpine rivers, lush forests, hot springs and gushing geysers, including its most famous, Old Faithful. It's also home to hundreds of animal species, including bears, wolves, bison, elk and antelope.

Yosemite National Park is in California’s Sierra Nevada mountains. It’s famed for its giant, ancient sequoia trees, and for Tunnel View, the iconic vista of towering Bridalveil Fall and the granite cliffs of El Capitan and Half Dome. In Yosemite Village are shops, restaurants, lodging, the Yosemite Museum and the Ansel Adams Gallery, with prints of the photographer’s renowned black-and-white landscapes of the area.

Acadia National Park is a 47,000-acre Atlantic coast recreation area primarily on Maine's Mount Desert Island. Its landscape is marked by woodland, rocky beaches and glacier-scoured granite peaks such as Cadillac Mountain, the highest point on the United States’ East Coast. Among the wildlife are moose, bear, whales and seabirds. The bayside town of Bar Harbor, with restaurants and shops, is a popular gateway.

Become a Smoothie Goddess this Winter Savor the Sips! There are SO many reasons you should have a daily smoothie, the DIY natural multi-vitamin that comes in delicious flavors you can customize to your taste. They … • • • • • • •

support weight loss increase your energy boost your immune system are an excellent source of healthy fiber incorporate healthy food into your day increase green vegetables in your diet luckily taste like dessert

They are filling, energizing and simple to make and one of the simplest ways to boost your overall health. Winter is usually synonymous with comfort food, not to be complaining, but there's still much to be said for the ease of smoothies—and nothing feels quite as good as getting in some greens without tasting them at all.

Forget the cocoa and cider! Savor the winter with these ridiculously tasty smoothies.

Powerhouse Pumpkin ½ c canned pure pumpkin, frozen in ice cube tray 7 oz (about 1 c) 2% plain Greek yogurt ½ c water ¼ ripe avocado 2 Tbsp ground flaxseed 1 Tbsp maple syrup ½ tsp pumpkin pie spice

Powerhouse Pumpkin

Combine all ingredients in a highpower blender and puree until smooth.

Potassium Peppermint 1 small banana, sliced and frozen ¼ c raw cashews (soaked overnight and drained) 1 c plain organic soy milk ⅓ c silken tofu ¼ c mint leaves ¼ tsp pure vanilla extract

Peppermint Potassium

Winter Citrus Smoothie ¾ c water ½ c 2% Greek yogurt ½ c ice cubes 3 clementines, peeled 2 Tbsp frozen orange juice concentrate Combine all ingredients in a high-power blender and puree until smooth.

Combine all ingredients in a highpower blender and puree until smooth.

Winter Citrus

How can you become your best self? You work on this objective as you are pushed and prodded by parents, teachers, clergy, employers, and most importantly yourself. As you strive to discover a solution

like STAR! and charge toward accomplishing thisShine goal, you may a end up feeling no closer to becoming your best self than when you began. Let’s face it, you live in a world that requires being the best partner, parent, friend, co-worker, weekend warrior, or anything else that you may be doing, in your daily life. And, you may often feel disappointed if you are unable to achieve this goal in everything that you do. What about approaching this idea from a different perspective? A change in your mindset will allow you to recognize that whatever the outcome of any task or goal, you have used the resources of a STAR! The ability to have an open mindset can give you the key to transformation which will make your star shine brightly anytime, day or night.

S = Slow Down Slow down as you relax into the knowingness that you do not have to master every new project the moment you begin. Give yourself some space to be open to how you feel, to the feedback from others, and to the seasoning which comes with taking your time. Give yourself time to become more proficient with practice and the support of friends and family. Slow down and learn to recognize when something feels a little off, askew, out of sync, and change your pace. Determine if you are trying to force something that just doesn’t fit. Assess and begin to assimilate the pace which gives you the ability to traverse your journey in the way that best fits your lifestyle, and allows you to feel and become connected to your best you. T = Time Outs Time outs have proven to be useful tools with children so why not try using this tool in your life as well. To diffuse a situation, regain proper perspective, or allow some time to digest what is unfolding in the moment, a time out is imperative. Give yourself the option to walk to the water cooler, restroom, or even outside, as you gauge what you feel and consider how you want to move forward. When you break up the current flow, this gives you some mental and physical space to recognize other options for the current situation.

These options can present themselves as your mind becomes a conduit that is open to view all potential possibilities. This will give you the clarity to realize you

I’m feeling like a star,

are on track to move ahead with success.

You can’t stop my shine,

A = Accountability Accountability is accepting the fact that you are responsible for how you act and react to people, places, things, and situations in your life. Become aware and learn to participate in accountability instead of thinking it’s not your fault, or it is out of your hands. After all, there are no accidents but merely lessons you need to master.

I’m loving cloud nine, My head’s in the sky,

So make the decision to start being as proficient as you possibly can by accepting accountability for where you are today and where you want to be tomorrow.

R = Relax It’s understood that you don’t live in a world, or a time in history, where it is easy to relax, but it is critical to your

Now I’m feeling how I should, never knew I could feel this good.

well-being. You must commit to the attitude and behaviors which embrace giving yourself the gift of time to be, the grace to feel any emotion without the threat of critical judgment, and the freedom to relax into the flow of life. Relax into the consciousness that you are exactly where you are supposed to be at this particular moment. The more you relax, the more fun you will have on the journey!

Shift your ideas of how to become your best self and let things take a different shape, called change. And, if you keep these ideas in mind, you don’t have to worry about how to become your best self because you’ll already be your best self, and shine like one of heaven’s brightest STARS!

COURAGEOUS STEP FORWARD By Erika Ervin

I write this article with a very specific intention. I intend to help every woman hiding behind the past to courageously step forward and expose that past to someone they trust to help eliminate self-limiting beliefs and unhealthy behaviors.

around the world. I told Regina of a connection I’ve discovered over the years with many clients troubles with their food control and exercise. Upon really digging deep emotionally with some of these women, many times I found their struggles began at a much younger age. There was a real connection between sexual abuse and the ability of these women to view themselves as real people or worthy of weight loss and kindness to their body. I know this is a topic from which many people shy away but the truth is, sexual abuse is real and can cause years of self-neglect and suffering. I want to share with you Regina’s story as a survivor and an expert in women’s self-defense. This article is heavy. It touches on topics some of you only hear about in the news. But if Regina can open her heart, show her venerability, and shed some light on an abusive past, I know you can too. I also know even if your past is not a traumatic one, you know someone whose past still haunts them and affects them with daily decisions. Maybe, YOU can help them pull the black velvet drapery back and allow them to see the full potential of their future!

Over eight years of personal training to help women lose weight, I find that women’s mindset about their worth greatly prohibits their success. During my years in the fitness industry I’ve met a very empowered and influential woman, Regina Rowley.

It’s important that we preface this article with a quick peep into Regina’s past. Along her journey she did have a turning point. But before the turning point, Regina came from an unhealthy and abusive family.

Regina Rowley is unlike any one else I’ve ever encountered. She is a women’s safety advocate, fitness coach and group fitness instructor. She speaks from the heart and her voice is heard all

Regina: “Health was not a priority in my family even though I had a sibling who was a brittle

diabetic and passed away during childhood due to that. They monitored her diet but the rest of the family was never adjusted. For me, as a parent, that would have been a turning point to bring health into my family but for my family it was not.

The key word here is ‘different’. Experiencing different is scary. Fear paralyzes us from making choices, but if you never make a choice on anything, you will always do nothing. On the other hand, sometimes change is made as the result of fear.

As I got older, I had some very serious health issues and had to make the choice to make the change or I would not be in the physical health I am in today. Why I made those changes, I don’t know. I don’t know what inside of me is different from the rest of my family.” Throughout her childhood Regina suffered traumatic moments of sexual abuse that still haunt her today. Just as her family did not put their health as a priority, they did not help when she tried to express the ongoing abuse to her family. She was verbally shot down. She says, “As a child, the adults in my life should have advocated for my safety and been the voices to protect me but in my case, they were the ones perpetrating them. Coming up as a child, I was taught to respect your elders and don’t question authority.”

For example, I sought Regina’s programs and personal self-defense lessons as a reaction to a scary experience. But I continue to work out every day as a proactive measure to my fear of the consequences of leading an unhealthy life. I asked Regina, “What do you think keeps women from coming forward to face their fears in order to become better versions of themselves mentally and physically?

For many years Regina wore this burden on her heart and did not seek help. Even when she felt it was under control, it still manages to unexpectedly sneak back into her life. I asked Regina, “Can a haunting traumatic past like this ever go away? “

Regina stopped and paused for a moment. Then she carefully and thoughtfully spoke these words: “You know, society in general says, ‘If a woman looks like this, then this woman is beautiful.’ So a woman that has been assaulted in the past may subconsciously feel that if they do not look like what society says is beautiful, then maybe nobody will want to assault them.

Regina: “We can learn to overcome and thrive. We are emotional beings and there is always the possibility life may throw a curve ball. And we readdress the feelings at that particular time. With that said, professional counseling can help you reduce the impact of these curve balls.”

It’s a way of protecting themselves. If there is so much pain from their previous experiences, sometimes they cannot make that trade off to be healthy. They guard themselves from the fear of a recurring past. If this is the only way they know to guard themselves then this is where they will stay. This is their defense line

The constant variable in life is that there is no constant variable, and the only thing absolutely certain in our life is that there will be change. Here is the definition of change.

Regina and I both see fear in the women we work with, but in different situations. Regina sees women with fear that also feel they are not worth protecting. She looks at case studies and creates ways for women to protect themselves through awareness and focus in different situations - not force. Regina works with women who are like me. They have been in a situation that scares them and they want to feel secure. I know my scare was tiny compared to what it could have been, but the fear made my whole body tremble and paralyzed me for days. I knew I never want to feel that again.

Now in the fitness industry, I see women that are reacting out of fear. Perhaps a spouse has said something, or they saw a glimpse in the mirror. There was a trigger that made them pick up the phone and call me. A decision to make a change out of fear. On the other hand, I also work with women who are relatively healthy but they have a close connection with the consequences of living an unhealthy life. Whichever fear is the catalyst to take action, frequently Regina and I both see the third and worst kind of fear. Fear that paralyzes a woman from taking action. I dig deep with women whom have the fear that feel they are not worthy of a better and healthier life. Regina seeks women she can serve that feel they are not worth protecting. I asked Regina, “It all boils down to how a woman values her worth. Why might some women fear they are not worth protecting or losing weight? Regina: “When a woman is assaulted, someone else has said, ‘Your thoughts, your opinions and your preferences are not important.’ They have taken away your voice because their desires are more important than yours. When someone takes your voice and your liberties from you, and there is no one there to advocate for you, it’s very difficult to find the confidence to advocate for yourself. When I asked Regina to allow me to interview her she told me from the very beginning, “Erika, at this time, I’m really struggling to keep my health a priority. I’ve had some recent contact with people from my traumatic past that have thrown me into an emotions curve ball. I have not responded to it the way I thought I would. It’s had a very negative impact on me to the point where I sought counseling. This interview will be very raw.”

She also works with women who are not necessarily living in fear or reacting to a situation. These are women who are proactive because of their living knowledge of inner cities. Women who have lived and witnessed the tragic possibilities of tough cities. Regina says, “Women that come from places where crime is so prevalent, they know the realities first hand. They want to add a reality-based training that’s going to give them hands-on, time tested techniques should they need them.”

We all need help because we don’t have the skill or ability to handle everything life dishes

out. It doesn’t matter how many months, years or even decades have passed, anything can trigger it again. There is no shame in reaching out for help.”

unsettled you wonder what might await on the other side of the gloomy drapery but you never dare to take a peek for fear of exposure to what is unknown.

It’s time we all step forward and become proactive with our fears. I want every woman to pull back their dark draperies and see the light for what it can be. In that light, there will be fear. Once we accept the fear, embrace the fear, and prepare for the fear we can collectively encourage other women to reach out for help and do the same. Regina said her intention for this article is to give courage to women who identify with her experiences to seek help, so

The drapery aggressively blocks you from seeing the beautiful sunny day and feeling the heat of life. I see your light and I see your potential but until you make the decision to pull back the drapery and expose yourself to the light, you will forever be hiding your authentic self from the beauty of the world and depriving the world YOUR inner light. Fast forward five years. You’ve pushed open the draperies and have allowed yourself to live in the light but just like all pasts, they dwell in our subconscious. From time to time you find yourself sitting in the void, dark room but now you know what the light feels like. The drapery may fall back from time to time but now that you have opened up your awareness and this allows you to see the opportunity and continue to fight to keep the light in. There is only one YOU in this universe and none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. Embrace your fear and welcome the pain and tears of your emotions because only then can you live authentically. I plead with you; do not deprive the world of your authentic self. You are amazing and worthy of a happy and healthy life.

they too can be comfortable being their authentic self. Imagine yourself sitting in a dark room, looking at a window covered by thick, black velvet draperies. This room is completely void of the light of life or your future. You have been sitting in this room for years blinded by the darkness of your heavy past and you don’t know what is on the other side. As you quietly and patiently sit in this room feeling a bit

Erika Ervin, Author, Public Speaker, entrepreneur and the creator of the Mindful Makeover Academy. erika@yourfitnessgirl.com, www.modernyinster.com/