le femme FOCUS May June 2015

le femme FOCUS Survival & Success Susan Hamilton Shares Her Story

femme to femme May June 2015

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May June 2015

ON THE COVER

Pichakron - Haute Sweets Patisserie, and Tuyet Nguyen Davis - Pho Kitchen at NorthPark. Chefs photographed at Pohlenz Valcucine Dallas in the Design District.

le femme FOCUS

We Honor the Women who Proudly Serve Our Nation. Thank You for Safeguarding Our Liberties for which We Are Very, Very, Grateful.

Our own, le femme FOCUS, member and photographer, Maria Golihar, holding the American flag at Kaso, Irag. She is the daughter of le femme FOCUS Advisory Board Member, Melinda Cooper. We salute you, Maria!

Publisher & Editor femme = femme, sister = sister

Welcome!

It seems fitting that our May/June magazine is filled with offerings not unlike a beautiful spring.

Find yourself a nice spot to sit and read, for we have a great issue to give you.

The women of le femme FOCUS are diverse in nationality and ethnicity, their ages spanning decades. They are much like the composition of a garden; each flower beautiful on its own, but mass them, and they become something else to behold.

It was with this in mind that le femme FOCUS Magazine chose the three women chefs to grace our cover; Tuyet Nguyen Davis, Tida Pichakron, and Leslie Robbins. We think you’ll find they, and their stories, reflect le femme’s platform belief that there is commonality in our diversity.

We are excited to introduce a new columnist, Kathryn Eriksen. Her thought provoking articles submit that we are the creators of our own stories and thus, we have the ability to change the outcomes. She does, you’ll see!

Living proof of Eriksen’s premise lies in the honest words of Susan Hamilton, who shares with us her personal journey through domestic violence. It’s a moving story and she credits Hope’s Door, a local women’s shelter which le femme FOCUS supports, for helping her construct her now successful and happy life.

Perspectives; the Man’s Point of View is a column presented by Dr. Paul Chafetz and Raul Enriquez. It begins this month with a serious topic delivered in a comfortable way by Enriquez.

We will also be bringing you FOCUS ON which will highlight places, products, and much more, starting with Staycations. Check out the great suggestions!

If you are local, we urge you to join in our Social Hours, a once a month gathering where we start the conversation, a le femme adage. One such conversation prompted The Red Basket project. It is a basket, red by design, which we try to fill with feminine hygiene products each month, and this summer, all we’ve collected will be delivered to our new femme friends in need, in Nairobi, Kenya.

As you see, we are bursting with spring vigor, new growth reflected in the pages here, full of beauty and inspiration. Thank you for reading and please share all things le femme FOCUS; website, Facebook, magazine, and radio show le femme FOCUS On Air, Wednesdays at 12:00 P.M.

Robin Roberson, Publisher

Becca Menig, Editor

THREE Chefs Charm Dallas

By Becca Menig

Leslie Robbins It was 2008 and Leslie Robbins was struggling from the unexpected death of her husband. “It was the first time in my life, of not really knowing what I’m going to do,” she says.

They had married very young and had a son, now a teenager, and were at the time, living apart.

Enter Mark McDaniel, chef/owner of ReMARKable Affairs Catering & Café, who employed her uncle. Robbins’ uncle realized she needed something to occupy her time and her mind, so McDaniel hired her to help with catering. They knew each other only casually for the chef had once given Robbins’ son a job. “Mark was so incredibly sweet and very genuine,” she says, expressing his sorrow at her loss and always offering to help in any way.

The work came easily to Robbins, having been around it she says, since she was a little girl, for her grandfather had been a bartender at the Fairmont Hotel and had worked in the hospitality industry, catering banquet halls and the Tom Landry suites at Cowboys Stadium.

Innocent dinners and drinks after busy days led to romance. “There was just a connection. Mark was always a gentleman. He was very interested in making sure I had enough space and time to heal, and to just be comfortable in my own skin alone. When you are with somebody for so long, how do you learn about yourself?”

Learn she did. Robbins is now a partner in the business as well, running the administrative back end though she says McDaniel credits her as the better chef. “Much like a lot of small business owners, they think they can handle it all, but I knew that he needed somebody strong that could actually get him to the next level.” The business is shared responsibility though McDaniel primarily runs the café and Robbins runs the administration necessary for catering. They both work events, dividing as size and demands require.

ReMARKable Affairs demands a tremendous amount of work. The custom catering component works from the café’s kitchen which serves up to 85 people daily, while at the same time is growing with corporate accounts, weddings, private events, and personal dinners. Robbins’ vision, organization, and management skills have helped them grow. The company is committed and written contracts are backed by a money back guarantee.

“Sometimes if we sit back and look at it, it can be very overwhelming. It’s insane! We have to schedule time to see each other, but we want to make sure our client is pleased. When you know your client is happy, it’s very gratifying.”

ReMARKable Affairs Catering & Café remarkableaffairs.com, 972.462.7470

Tida Pichakron As a young girl of Thai descent, growing up in the small town of Gretna, Louisiana, Tida Pichakron remembers licking the finger she had plunged into a jar of Tang, and relishing its flavor. Perhaps that is what set her on this journey.

With a business degree from Texas A & M, and five years in the corporate world, Pichakron knew she wanted to do something else, wanted to do more. Her choice was as simple as studying sweets because she liked to eat them.

Fast forward to earning a Certificate in Baking and Pastry from the Culinary Institute of America in Napa, staging every Friday night at Auberge du Soliel, excelling and thus landing her first job at the French Room of Dallas’ Adolphus Hotel before moving to Las Vegas to work under her now business partner, Gianni Santin who was the executive pastry chef of Mandarin Oriental. “There was still a lot I had to learn,” admits Pichakron, adding, “But I’m tenacious.”

Though she knew it to be true on paper, experiencing the routines of restaurants became real; the menu doesn’t change and Pichakron explains, “They do the same thing every single day. It’s a shock.” But at both hotels, in addition to the learning the restaurant business, Pichakron relished seeing how hotels operate.

Three and a half years with Santin catapulted her from line cook to his junior sous chef and then his sous chef, with invitations to compete in nationally televised food shows, including the popular Food Network. Today they are in Dallas, continuing as a team; owners of Haute Sweets Patisserie.

Santin and Pichakron are both married but she speaks of their business relationship in terms married people understand. “We yin and yang,” she says, for she loves creating flavors, she is project oriented, good in math, and she runs the operations of the business. “He trusts everything I do, but Gianni is the artist and I’ve learned a lot from him. I don’t know how he does it, he creates masterpieces of cakes.”

As a wholesale patisserie, the new location in Old Lake Highlands is a retail magnet gaining loyal clientele. The shop is tiny but chic, with beautiful, hanging lights and a pristine pastry case. Celebrity chef jackets are displayed and a large, friendly chalkboard welcomes customer comments. There are stools which line the length of the wide window open to the working bakery.

Macarons in a dozen flavors fly out the door and pastries are delicious works of art. There’s Bourbon Vanilla Cream Cake, Coffee Caramel Hazelnut Tart, and Praline Éclairs. There’s a Key Lime Tart too. Best enjoy it now though; Orange Tang Tart could easily take its place one day.

Haute Sweets Patisserie hautesweetspatisserie.com, 214.856.0166

Tuyet Davis Last fall, Pho Kitchen opened in NorthPark Center’s Food Court. In its first month, 8,000 bowls of pho were served along with 6,000 Banh Mi sandwiches. The menu, designed by owner Tuyet Nguyen Davis, offers other Vietnamese classics such as spring rolls, noodle bowls, and salad.

A restaurateur since age 22, Davis runs all aspects of her business herself and works in the kitchen, cooking and training. She has high standards for quality and freshness.

“Food has to be clean. Everything has to be washed. I don’t do like other restaurants who just chop it up. I don’t want that,” she explains, and if the staff does something not up to her measure, Davis will discard the food and they will start again. Since the beginning, those years of her Dallas restaurants East Wind and Lemongrass, Davis has thought of her guests as family. “I love people. You have to respect people. People eat our food, they trust in you.”

Respect for others has prevailed throughout Davis’ life, beginning as a child of seven, learning Buddhists’ principles at the Temple she attended every day in Saigon. “Buddhists say you have a little happy, a lot of sad.”

Theory became a reality for debilitating sadness struck seven years ago when the Davis’ lost their son. The handsome, six foot tall, thirty-one year old man, died in his sleep. “That’s the worst thing that a parent has to go through. I wanted to die.” They closed their restaurant East Wind and Davis grieved for a long time. “I fell apart,” she says dabbing her eyes. She went to the cemetery every day, avoiding friends by fibbing that she’d been in Vietnam. How is it, she cried to her husband, that I can survive living a month in the streets, stepping over dead bodies, victims of the war, and be okay, but I can’t get over this?

The passing of time, and a patient, loving husband helped her heal, and the day came when Davis was ready enough to reopen the restaurant, which they called Lemongrass and only sold it last fall with the opening of Pho Kitchen.

Davis’ deep desire to lead a life with purpose helped her heal too. She was battling stomach cancer when she read Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life. Davis found comfort and inspiration in the teachings, not unlike those she learned and embraced at the Temple. Davis believes, “Money is one thing, but you have to do the right thing. You have to do the right thing so you are able to sleep peacefully.”

Pho Kitchen, NorthPark Center phokitchendallas.com, 214.706.3595

A NEW MOVEMENT: JUSTUS™

BY STACY KNAPP-KILLIAN

When you first meet someone new, it’s inevitable the question arises: “Who are you?” For many people, who they are characterizes what they do - at least a big part of it does. After all, a person’s character always defines their career. You are what you do. And, it is far more than just how they earn a living because their work speaks for itself.

For more than 20 years, Stacy Snapp-Killian has been one of the most recognized names in hair styling. Since the beginning of her career, Snapp-Killian set trends as she created the most influential looks of the 90’s and now, known to many as a hair therapist, she has combined two careers that best define her and transform adults into beautiful, confident people.

Her clientele spans from around the United States where she has touched the lives of thousands.

But what makes this woman unique isn’t so much what she does in the salon, as what she does out of the salon. When it comes to helping people find the answer to the question, “Who are you?” the award winning, master stylist and author believes she was gifted with the ability to make people beautiful from the inside-out.

Award Winning Hairstylist, Inspirational Author, and CEO and Founder of the JustUS ™ Movement; Stacy Snapp-Killian.

The list of benefits certainly doesn’t stop there. Stacy is building a world-wide movement concerning sexual suppression, a state in which the conscious mind excludes itself during an encounter of sexual abuse.

After working with clients for more than two decades, she believes she has discovered a common element to most

people’s lives, and as each client begins to open up and confide in her, they seem to have one thing in common - a secret hidden deep inside concerning sexual exposure from their childhood.

She is reaching out to adults, who as children suppressed an episode of sexual abuse, causing them to self-medicate rather than speak out. She is the CEO and Founder of the JustUS™ movement and brings together survivors to, “pray it out, write it out, speak it out.”

Snapp-Killian says, “After generations of families not talking about sex with their children, we have an epidemic on our hands.

This could have already been conquered had we respected sex and approached the subject from an educational process, inside our select homes, to protect our children.

It’s going to take a movement of survivors to band together- stand together and make a difference. It’s going to take those of us who survived sexual abuse and suppressed it, opening up and talking about it, in a way that’s never been done before. We must use our story to create role-models for children and say, yes, that was once me - I survived sexual abuse and I’m proud to be who I am!”

After working with thousands of people to rebuild their lives, using the ten character commitments she created and published in the book, “Be Beautiful Being You,” she realized we all have a past. Some people are willing to open up and share their most intimate moments with her and others are

hiding from it, but for the most part, everywhere she goes people want to sit down and tell her their story. Snapp-Killian believes these five giants control the lives of people with sexual suppression: eating disorders, porn addictions, sexual identity crises, drug, and alcohol problems. She also believes these affect adults who are suppressing an episode of sexual abuse because the secret hiding inside them causes a lack of self-confidence, therefore, keeping the secret hidden. Snapp-Killian hopes to motivate adults to release the truth and define … who they are.

“A lot of intelligent people believe if you don’t talk about sexual suppression it will all go away. But that’s not true, in fact, suppressing an episode of sexual abuse as a child will eat alive an adult. Suppressing sexual abuse creates a person you don’t recognize when you look in the mirror someone you hate.”

According to Snapp-Killian, it is her mission to cause a world-wide movement for survivors of sexual suppression.

She intends to build an empire of support for those sharing their stories of survival to help inspire others to speak out. Currently, she brings awareness to the movement through social media platforms; Twitter, Facebook, Blogging, and there is a YouTube channel dedicated to survivors, containing footage taken over the years as this dream began to manifest into reality.

If you or anyone you know is interested in joining the movement you can do so at www.justuslove.org

Entice Your Palette with Edible Flowers

By DeeDee Lowder Both savory and sweet dishes are enhanced with edible flowers that add beautiful color and floral flavors. For centuries, flowers, like herbs, have been used in cooking and they can lend an exciting brightness to a myriad of dishes prepared by the adventurous cook.

The vibrant colors, lively scents, and interesting shapes of edible flowers can provide accents for decorating a plate and whetting the appetite. When you make a selection, consider not only its flavor, but also its appearance and ability to look fresh out of water. Complement your food in a striking way by contrasting colors, like placing a bright blue flower in the center of a scarlet tomato soup or lavender on a creamy cheesecake.

Many flower blossoms are quite wonderful tasting but before garnishing plates or adding them into a dish, clean your flowers by gently immersing them in cool water to release any insects. Drain or pat dry with a paper towel and lightly wrap to store in the refrigerator until ready to use. Smaller blossoms can be kept whole, but larger blossoms have flower heads that are not always edible. In those cases, separate the petals and scatter them over your dish.

And before you start randomly eating flowers from your garden, be sure you know what you are doing – some are deadly poisonous.

Naturally, if you use pesticides or herbicides in your garden, you should avoid eating those blooms.

Caveats aside, flowers do wonderfully in salads, as a garnish for chilled soup or serving platters, sprinkled on ice cream, atop spring cocktails, or to decorate cakes.

The following are a few of the more popular edible beauties: Anise Hyssop Bee Balm Lavender Calendula Daylilies Hollyhocks Marigolds Nasturtiums Pansies Roses Scarlet Runner Bean Sunflowers Violets

DeeDee Lowder is a freelance writer, mother and entrepreneur who now lives in Dallas, TX.

Information Overload Anyone?

by Regina Rowley

2015 is an unwritten book, ready for us to live with purpose and to fulfill our legacy!

Since applied knowledge is power, we must first gain knowledge in order to apply it.

This is an ongoing project for me, and I hope for you as well. One way I accomplish this goal is through reading books. Specifically, books which will help me uncover ways to improve in an area I am struggling with, or books in the personal protection arena.

One such book I just started is “The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload.” Daniel J. Levitin, a New York Times Bestselling Author and cognitive psychologist, is helping me understand the connection and impact of having so much information and the ability to stay ahead of the game. I am now able to understand the serious impact adrenal fatigue, something I have dealt with the past six months, has on being able to think clearly. Although I am healing and moving forward in my health, I still hit a mental wall each day and have no choice but to walk away from anything requiring an organized thought. Attention is a limited capacity resource, and I tapped mine out in the first half of 2014.

I share this for those of you who are living by Walt Disney’s principle, “All your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them.” Perhaps, like I was, you are

juggling a day job, your business of passion and purpose, a family, and other life changing responsibilities. I literally, in spite of my healthy lifestyle, depleted my body’s ability to produce cortisone. I overloaded my adrenal glands. It isn’t my goal here, to go into all I have done to begin reclaiming my health. However, I do want to encourage you to realize you aren’t crazy or lazy. We all have physical limits though and must learn to work within them.

That brings me to the above mentioned book, “The Organized Mind.” Although I have only just begun reading it, already I am coming to understand that the disorientation I have often experienced, can be improved upon. There is hope for me and for you.

Satisficing is a term coined to describe, not getting the very best option but one that was good enough. This is an acceptable option for non-critical matters. It allows us to find a balance between our efforts and benefits. Now, if you are a perfectionist, or an overcoming perfectionist such as me, this may be a strange practice for you. By implementing satisficing, we free our minds from wasting time making non-critical decisions; decisions which can lead to indecision and unproductivity.

When we face a multitude of trivial decisions along with high-priority endeavors, we can create neural fatigue. Ideally, we would surround ourselves with a staff of individuals to manage the minute details of our lives. Yeah right, you say? Well, at least we can begin unraveling how attention and memory work.

Then we can begin to organize our minds.

For years I have read about, and tried implementing, organization skills; the tips and tricks … yet here I am, still feeling disorganized. Just as defending ourselves begins between our ears, I am understanding how living an organized life begins in that six inches where I can be decisive or indecisive.

I hope this post provides guidance for you. Here’s to having the courage and skills to pursue all your dreams! Train smart, live safe!

Oh that every woman knew how to defend herself and would! http://www.reginarowley.com/

Where’s the Fire?

By Deborah Viapiana-Ricci

Do you or have you ever lived in close proximity to a Fire House? Well, for the past fifteen years or so, we have…and although you might think this is a good thing…and it is, when they are furiously flying by your home very early in the day on a regular basis, you start to think that you might not like residing along their well-worn path after all. As a matter of fact, while writing this piece, the sound of early morning sirens are blaring by.

So, several years back, I started to take notice of something very perplexing.

These brave and dedicated people were out and about on their meticulous mission at around the very same time each morning…I started paying more attention.

I began to ask myself puzzling questions, mostly obvious at first…like “Why were they regularly leaving the station in the early part of the day?” And, “Where were they going in such a hurry?” Or, “What kinds of things were they encountering most when they got to their dire destination?”

You might be thinking…an accident, perhaps, or a backed-up chimney…both of which could be the case. However, delving more and more into my curious task, I became sadly aware of the many, many other reasons for their punctual and persistent purpose.

Who doesn’t know what “rush hour” means? We all do….or do we?

Typically, it’s the time of travel during commuter traffic to and from our work place…Right? Of course it is. But, you might not have thought about it this way. There is another really good possibility that also fits…We are all RUSHING! Rushing through our morning routines…Rushing through breakfast, (if we are lucky enough to make that happen)…Rushing to get out the door, Rushing with our kids in tow, Rushing while precariously balancing a multitude of electronic devices, one of which just may be pressed against our head along with our tippling coffee mug in hand…Oh, and wait…trying to remember (half way to work) did we forget our charger or can we even recount turning the stove off? Are you getting the picture now? And, if you are, you can envision this very real scenario much like a scene from one of the many reality programs that resemble our lives all too much!

If we are truly honest with ourselves, we can attest to any one (or all) of the aforementioned situations and admit that this is more the norm than the exception to the rule. As a Life~Style Coach, I can personally attest to witnessing this very crazy way of living all too often.

The societal pressure women intentionally endure these days is insane…there is no other word for it.

Unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves, while continually doing a selfevaluation that is also skewed to the max, much like the illusion a fun house mirror reflects; So much so, that science has now proven that taking on the absurd mentality that we MUST multitask in order to get it all done, not only short-changes each of the overappointed tasks, but will also sign us up for the early onset of Alzheimer’s Disease…Not much mental acuity needed here to decipher this very real threat.

So…what would it look like if we created an insurance policy that prevented one of those BIG RED SHRIEKING PIECES OF EQUIPMENT from darkening the days of our lives? Just a simple little thing called “mindful time management”.

Okay…I get it…Sounds simple…but not so easy, you say. Let’s take the first step by coming to terms with this fact…Most of us are NOT living in real time…you know that elusive twenty-four hour period each of us gets? Most of us are whirling and bustling through our days with ne’er a thought about that ticking

time keeper that doesn’t take prisoners…only keeps trying to persuade us to fit more in…”C’mon…you can do it…just one more meeting…one more after-school activity…one more class…ENOUGH!

Let’s invest in finding the cure desperately needed for this detrimental omni-present epidemic in order to save both our own sanity AND to soundly lead the next generation of young women coming up the ranks. And, don’t kid yourself…Theses girls ARE indeed watching us…every move, every decision.

What a wonderful and authentic legacy we could leave for these promising young women who just might be courageous enough to take a stand for change.

Let’s stop, drop and roll, ladies…and ask ourselves…”Where’s the fire?”?

Deborah Viapiana-Ricci is a Life-Style Coach and freelance writer living by their local firehouse in McKinney, Texas with her husband Wil. Every morning, she can be found saluting “Big Red” from their front yard,

Acquire Strength of Will and Healthy Habits To Get What You Desire in Life

By Ashly Torian

You are in the midst of life, the roller coaster of ups and downs, highs and lows.

You have desires and goals you want to achieve and now is the time to implement those desires, to take action.

If you are waiting for the perfect time to arrive, you will likely keep putting it off.

Perfect timing doesn’t exist. Your moment is NOW. The present moment is the moment for you.

unwavering strength of will to carry out ones decisions.

Do you have that - the ability to stick with an intention that you have set before you in order to attain that goal? I believe willpower is like a muscle, it has to be used and strengthened in order for it to take hold within your very being. With habits, it is a matter of repeating the same thing over and over and eventually you won’t even have to think about it anymore … it will just happen. The brain is actually looking for ways to save effort and forming a habit is one of them. According to a 2006 Duke University researcher, 40 percent of our actions each day are not the result of wellformed decisions but are the result of habit.

How many habits have you implemented on auto-pilot today?

But, how do you reach and strive for your goal when life is calling and keeping you side-tracked? What do you implement and how do you implement it? Some say it is all about willpower, others say it is all about habit. I think it involves a little bit of both.

According to dictionary.com, a habit is an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.

Willpower is the ability to control oneself and determine one’s actions; a firmness of will. Those with willpower demonstrate the

The brain likes to take sequence actions and formulate them into routines so we can do

two things at once. For example, tying shoes and carrying on a conversation. These complicated motor skills along with the ability to develop deep emotions and memories are all stored in the basal ganglia of the brain. It is our auto-pilot mechanism.

Habits allow the brain to think less and take more action.

There are pros and cons to this. For instance, if you have a habit that is no longer benefiting you, you will find that it happens automatically without recall to do so. This can make it difficult when your desire is to reach for nourishing snack vs a candy bar. The habit is to have money in your pocket and get a snack from the vending machine when out and about.

Whereas the new habit of carrying nourishing snacks where ever you go has to be implemented over and over for it to override the old habit of just needing money in your pocket.

Willpower steps in to this scenario when you have realized you do not have nourishing snacks with you, you only have money for the vending machine. Are you going to practice unwavering strength of will to abstain from the vending machine or will you give in with the excuse that you don’t have anything else, so you have no choice but to swipe a candy bar?

There is a downside to willpower, it is great and serves us until stress hits, and if you don’t have health-giving habits to back it up then the ease to default to unwholesome habits is overwhelming. You can have a strong will power muscle but when you find yourself in a stressful time, the brain defaults to unwholesome habits…it is just easier. Remember, the brain loves to think less and act more. “Habits persists even when we are tired and don’t have the

energy to exert self-control” – Wendy Wood, PhD, professor of psychology and business at USC So, how do you develop the habit and willpower to begin this transition of carrying snacks vs money?

Develop Health-Giving HABITS First and foremost you need a trigger, a cue, a signal of sorts that reminds you of the new habit you wish to start. Have it set for the same time every day.

Example: an alarm or a note card on your mirror reminding you of your new habit.

Secondly, develop a routine to implement the new habit. Remember that the brain loves patterns and sequences. Also make the routine simple to implement, let it flow into your day so that it is easy to pick up.

Example: Pick at least 3 steps to implement desired habit.

1. Alarm goes off to remind you to take an afternoon walk 2. Grab your shoes and put them on 3. Get a drink of water 4. Grab your house keys 5. Walk out the door

Thirdly, Reward yourself; the brain uses this to determine if this “loop” is worth remembering for the future. This is best reinforced with action and exclamation.

Example: the feeling you get after any movement activity whether it is a hard core workout or dancing around your house, allow yourself the time to reflect on why you love this and the wonderful feeling it gives you. Raise your arms to the sky and say, “YES! This feels great!” Really yell it out with gusto! Enforce this reward every time you perform the new routine you want to adopt as a habit. And it will stick!

post it on your refrigerator…any place where you will see it several times a day.

Second, set a clear intention – short and concise Third, monitor your behavior toward that goal. If your behavior doesn’t match the desired end point, then shift, make a transition so that it does. This is where strength of will comes into play.

Fourth, apply a never quit attitude and always do your best.

If you miss a day, don’t judge yourself. Simply breathe and pick it up in the next moment.

(Simply pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep going).

There is no perfect amount of time that it takes to develop a habit; some say 21 days others say 365. It really depends on the habit and the person developing the habit.

Keep your focus on what you want to implement and let the brain do the rest.

Develop Strength of Will….Gumption First, discover what inspires you? Write this on your mirror so you see it every day or

Practice unwavering strength of will and develop health-giving habits that benefit you for the long term. This will cement sustainable action in living at your natural, healthy weight throughout your life.

You never fail, you are always practicing and some days are better than others.

Don’t allow regrets to sneak up on you, master habits that empower you and willpower that drives you now.



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JUMP Into SPRING! Literally!

By Sonja Kabell

I have been collecting data and reading publications over the years on why it is so important to become regularly active. Most of us miss this very important component of long-term health. This article will try to influence you to become more active daily and as we move into spring, there is no better time to start.

You have read the headlines and hear it from your doctor - get active! Does regular activity help you lose weight? Sure! I encourage my clients weekly to find something they like to do and get busy. Does being active improve your mood? Absolutely! Going for a walk is a great way to get rid of frustrations and clear your head instead of eating that cookie. However, regular activity does so very much more.

According the Cooper Institute, research clearly shows that all Americans should be regularly physically active to improve overall health and fitness and prevent many unwanted health issues.

The health benefits of physical activity occur for people of all age groups, all race and ethnic groups, and people with disabilities and chronic conditions. Furthermore, the health benefits of physical activity are generally independent of body weight, meaning that overweight or obese adults do gain health and fitness benefits by being regularly physical active. In addition, the benefits of physical activity far outweigh the possibility of adverse outcomes such as injury and heart attacks.

The major benefits of being regularly active published by the CDC are:    

Control weight Reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease Reduce your risk of diabetes and metabolic syndrome Metabolic syndrome is a condition in which you have some combination of too much fat around the waist, high blood pressure, low HDL cholesterol, high triglycerides, or high blood sugar

  

Reduce your risk of some cancers like colon and breast cancer Strengthens your bones and muscles which help us as we age Increase your chance of living longer! That in itself should be a motivator!

Now that I have built the case for regular activity, what does that mean? For most adults, it is important to do two types of activity – aerobic and muscle-strengthening. .

For substantial health benefits, adults should do at least 150 minutes (2 hours and 30 minutes) a week of moderate-intensity, or 75 minutes (1 hour and 15 minutes) a week of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity, or an equivalent combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity aerobic activity. Aerobic activity should be performed in episodes of at least 10 minutes and should be spread throughout the week.

Strengthen/Muscle-strengthening activities involve a moderate to high level of intensity or effort and work the major muscle groups of the body: the legs, hips, back, chest, abdomen, shoulders, and arms. Muscle strengthening activities for all the major muscle groups should be done at least 2 days a week.

You now know the what, where and why, and it is your turn to decide on the how! What do you have to lose???

Sonja Kabell, Weight Loss and Wellness Consultant, Founder of Creating Healthy Lifestyles Powered by USANA and host of The Sonja Kabell Radio Talk Show on Pegasus Net Waves.

Musings from the Mall ... hiding in plain sight with Regina the Reluctant Fitbit

From the "If I can't see you ‌ you can't see me," collection.

Leslie White Clay, www.notsosecretmusing.blogspot.com

WHY CAN’T MY PARTNER BE ROMANTIC MORE OFTEN?!

Dr. Paul Chafetz,PhD

Do you hate feeling frustrated?

Of course you do! We are wired to want to get what we want without delay.

Evolution created this mechanism because it gives us energy to work hard to get what we need.

Modern society, however, requires us to civilize the expression of this energy. The result is called tact, diplomacy, kindness, patience, wisdom, empathy, and love. We’re allowed to want things and to go after them, but we have to do it in the right way.

foreplay, as he is. However, he is so wrong, due to both some gender differences and some universal human differences.

Nowhere is this truer than in the area of love, romance, and sex. Through marriage or other means, we have chosen one person and declared them as our sole partner for our romantic expressions. If only we could elicit their romantic side as easily as we start our car, by turning the key in the ignition. The secret is that we can, if we use the right key!

Second, as explained by Gary Chapman in his classic 1992 book, “Love Languages,” both genders vary in their preferred flavor of loving input: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

The romantically unskilled guy (but this applies to gals, too) assumes that his partner is moved to romantic feelings by the same thoughts, feelings, situations, times of day, speeds of engagement, and most importantly, the same type of

First, as a broad generalization, it is often said that men feel closest to their mates if she frequently shows him her respect, admiration, trust, and appreciation for him, whereas women feel closest to their mates if he frequently shows her his love, care, devotion, and cherishing for her.

So, the “key” to igniting your partner’s romantic side is satisfying his or her heart with a steady diet of their specific desired behaviors from you. If you do, you will find that your partner’s engine will always be running for you.

See more at PaulKChafetz.com

Those High Expectations Can Be Dangerous

By Raul Enriquez

In any relationship we are involved in, it seems one person has certain expectations of the other. But when something goes wrong, most often the offending person isn’t aware he did anything wrong. That’s because of certain expectations from the wronged party.

Okay, let’s face it; many times a guy does something wrong. The woman/spouse/girlfriend is annoyed by his oblivious state. From saying the wrong thing in a conversation to wearing the wrong outfit for an event, she will roll her eyes or gnash her teeth at you.

Wait! Did I know that? Did you tell me that?

Or did you assume I soaked it up through osmosis?

As hard as men try, we can never meet every expectation of our woman/spouse/girlfriend. We try to provide but we always fall short. And she lets us know. Household duties, gifts, style, grooming. The list can go on and on.

Once, in a conversation at party, a friend asked me to join him to a football game.

“Great! I’d love to go. Thanks.” The girl I was dating at the time, turned me around and said, “Why didn’t you check with me? I wanted us to go out of town that weekend.”

Now, we were just dating at the time.

Nothing serious. Yet she expected me to check with her for the next weekend. I failed. She was hurt.

What? I was supposed to check? So now, she is hurt. Well, that was her expectation.

It would have reduced the embarrassment had she told me her desires before we arrived at the party. And had she not spun me around to fuss at me, more frustration would have been avoided. I looked like a big jerk. And she was wronged.

Plus, I was not expecting things like this to pop up during the course of interaction. I wouldn’t have been hurt or offended if one of her girlfriends tossed an invitation to her.

She is her own person. No need to check with me.

Certain expectations get more relationships in trouble than most can imagine. Often, one of us fails because the other didn’t communicate. Just how many break ups occurred because he was clueless?

Clueless? Or left out of the loop?

Raul Enriquez is a longtime Dallas radio broadcaster and Operations Director for Pegasus Net Waves.

TORRONTES: The Other Wine of Argentina

By Jillian Jacks Torrontes is the most distinctive of all Argentine wines, including both white and red. This is because Argentina is the only country to produce it. Considered a whollyArgentine variety of a native white grape,

Torrontes

is

a

natural

combination of the Muscat de Alejandro, and the Mission grape (known locally as the Criolla Chica).

It was brought over from Spain by 16th-century

conquistadores

missionaries.

Besides

and

Argentina,

there are very few wine-growing regions in the world cultivating this grape. It is also found in Spain and New Zealand.

Argentina

has

a

number

of

fascinating facts relative to its wine culture such as: growing grapes at the highest elevations in the world (as high as 9,800 ft. in Colome), and at the lowest latitude, 43째. It also enjoys a singularity of association by producing more Malbecs than any other wine region in the world.

The flavor profile of Torrontes is similar to a Gewurztraminer or Viognier. It is an aromatic grapes, with heady, intense floral aromas of orange blossoms, jasmine, and lavender. It also boasts flavorful fruit essences of many fruits including: orange, lemon, lime, grapefruit, honeydew, apricot, lychee, and apple.

There is often a spicy note like white pepper, or a mineral undertone picked up from the sandy, stony soils.

The grapes are grown predominantly in two of Argentina’s wine regions -- the North and the Cuyo ,or Mendoza region, in the central, western part of the country. Torrontes are often leaner and crisper with higher acidity. They grow at the highest altitudes in the world, over 5,600 ft. on steep slopes where furrows are dug to naturally irrigate the vineyards from snow melt coming down from the Andes Mountains. The average rainfall in Argentina is only 8 inches per year and, with extremely permeable soil, it is crucial to capture this snow-melt water. In the Mendoza or Cuyo region the elevation is much lower, 1,000 – 2,000 ft. and the soil is more fertile. The wines from this region tend to be fuller and rounder with more intense flavors.

Torrontes may very well be the next "big thing" in white wine. More and more producers are finding distribution throughout the United States, and local wineries are now offering a solid selection. On your next outing you might taste Torrontes from these winemakers : Luigi Bosca, Torrontes, DoĂąa Paula Estate, Bodegas Catena Zapata, Alamos, El Esteco, 2010, Valentin Bianchi, Susana Balbo, or Bodega Colome.

Jillian Jacks writes on a variety of topics with emphasis on food and entertaining. She lives in Florida where she enjoys yearround entertaining with her family and friends.

Basic Symptoms of Thyroid Dysfunction

By Donna S. Barsky, PharmD, R.Ph., CDE

There are several million people in this country who have thyroid issues and many of them are unaware that they have any thyroid problem at all. Today’s physicians usually test only for TSH levels (the gauge for the T4 –inactive thyroid level in the body) in the blood tests. If this level is within the range, regardless of where in the range, there will be no further searching for answers or test and they may tell you that your thyroid is just fine. However, TSH doesn’t really give the physician any idea how your thyroid is actually functioning. We do know that T4 must be converted to T3 for actual usage and sometimes our diet alone can shut down this conversion to the active T3. Or our systems may be actually burning the T3 faster than you can use it in the system.

Before the 70’s, the actual way to diagnose thyroid conditions was to take a basal temperature daily for 2 weeks, average the temps and if the number was 1-2 degree below the average, they would realize that your metabolic thermostat was hypo functioning.

Skip forward to now, most insurance companies relies on the TSH (cheaper to run) rather than running a full thyroid panel.

So what are the symptoms? Here are a few to consider and sometimes all we need to do is check our nutrition base for best function. Thyroid dysfunction can cause an array of health issues—including weight gain, depression, sexual dysfunction, depression, heart disease, and extreme fatigue. That’s why it’s vital to determine if you have any of the following common symptoms that might indicate a thyroid condition…

1.

Fatigue Feeling exhausted when you wake up, feeling as if 8 or 10 hours of sleep a night is insufficient or being unable to function all day without a nap can all be signs of thyroid problems. (With hyperthyroidism, you may also have nighttime insomnia that leaves you exhausted during the day.) Fatigue symptoms are usually mild at first before increasing in intensity.

2.

Weight Changes If you’ve tried every low-fat, low-carb, low-calorie diet with little weight loss success, you might have hypothyroidism. An underactive thyroid gland is like miring your metabolism in quicksand, slowing it down to the point of ineffectualness.

With an overactive thyroid, or hyperthyroidism, patients usually cannot gain weight no matter how much they eat. This is because overly active thyroids push metabolisms to warp speed, causing the body to burn calories like rocket fuel. Many patients also experience dramatic and unexplained weight loss.

1.

Muscle & Joint Pain Unexplained aches and pains in the muscles and joints (following no period of physical exertion) can be symptomatic of a thyroid condition. These pains and be intense and unrelenting, interfering with normal activities and inhibiting the patient’s ability to perform movements and actions within their normal ranges of motion. These symptoms can also manifest as muscle weaknesses, leading specific muscle groups suddenly unable to bear normal workloads. Some people experience tremors in their hands, which can become severe. Pain, swelling and stiffness can also occur in muscles and joints.

2.

Swollen Neck Swelling in the neck or a visibly enlarged thyroid that leads to neck pain and a gravelly voice can indicate thyroid disease. This condition is known as a “neck goiter,” and it typically presents as a localized enlargement at the base of the neck, affecting the skin and surrounding tissues which protect the actual thyroid gland. However, the presence of a neck goiter does not necessarily signal that there is a problem with the thyroid itself. This type of swelling simply means that there is some underlying condition that is affecting the size of the thyroid and causing it to grow, and if it occurs in isolation without the presence of other symptoms, it may not require an aggressive treatment.

3.

Hair & Skin Changes The hair and skin often show the first signs of thyroid problems, including symptoms such as dry hair, loss of hair, scaly skin, or excessively dry skin. Normal, regulated hair growth is actually dependent on the proper functioning of the thyroid gland, and problems with thyroid function can cause balding of the head in men and women, as well as the loss of body hair. The thyroid also regulates delivery of hormones which play important roles in the maintenance of healthy skin.

4.

Bowel Disturbances Both hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism can cause changes in bowel habits, as both conditions interfere with the body’s ability to digest food and generate waste. People suffering from an underactive thyroid often experience difficulties in passing bowel movements, resulting in chronic constipation. Bowel movements can also be painful and cause additional problems such as hemorrhoids. For people with hyperthyroidism, bowel movements can become more frequent and more urgent. Diarrhea can also take place. Stools tend to be loose, with higher volumes of liquid and may occur even if the patient has had little to eat.

5.

Menstrual Abnormalities Both underactive and overactive thyroids can disrupt women’s menstrual cycles, and like other condition-dependent symptoms, the nature of the changes depend on whether the patient is suffering from hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. Women with

underactive thyroids may experience lighter than normal periods, and they may also miss periods altogether. On the other hand, overactive thyroids can cause heavier than normal periods, or periods which last several days longer than normal. The menstrual cycle may shorten, and spotting can occur.

1.

Depression Depression or anxiety disorders can indicate thyroid disease, although these symptoms are typically not enough on their own to warrant a diagnosis. These psychiatric symptoms and mood disturbances may present in a generalized or acute manner. In other words, patients may slowly sink into sustained periods of mild to severe depression, or they could experience unexpected, sudden and intense outbursts of symptoms, such as panic attacks. Mood imbalances are more often seen with underactive thyroids. These symptoms may be accompanied by a general feeling of malaise or lethargy, an inability or lack of desire to concentrate, or a feeling of mental sluggishness.

2.

Carpal Tunnel Weakness or tingling in the arms, wrists, hands, and legs is a sign of carpal tunnel syndrome, a common sign of undiagnosed thyroid condition. While clinically significant numbers of patients experience these symptoms, many doctors and even specialists are not aware of the strong links between thyroid problems and carpal tunnel syndrome. As such, the root cause of the carpal tunnel symptoms is often misdiagnosed. Treatment for thyroid-related carpal tunnel syndrome is the same as it is for stress- or injuryrelated carpal tunnel syndrome. Ergonomic improvements, wrist braces, physical therapy, specialized exercise regimens and anti-inflammatory medications may all be recommended.

3.

Family History If you have a family history of troublesome glands or “goiter� you may expect thyroid problems down the road. The disease is believed to have a strong genetic component, and you should be particularly vigilant if you have a close female relative who develops an overactive or underactive thyroid condition. Additional risk factors include a family history of autoimmune disorders, as well as age and gender. Women have thyroid problems more often than men, and the majority of cases appear in patients who are over 50 years of age. Thyroid disease is yet another reason you should butt out, as research has found that smokers of both genders are at increased risk.

Texas Star Pharmacy, 3033 W Parker Rd., Plano, TX 75023, and 972-519-8475

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Protect Your Skin

By Carla McMahon

Despite wintry weather in places around the

Here are some reminder tips to help your skin

country, there is no denying that summer is on

become prepared for the lengthy summer

the way. Is your skin ready for the Texas sun?

ahead:

After all the research on skin cancer and its relation to sun exposure, it may seem that it would be healthiest for your baby boomer skin to stay indoors. But who’s going to do that all summer long?

Always, always, always wear SPF lotion on exposed skin. (Not just your face, but also the backs of your hands, your arms, top of your feet and anywhere else that gets regular exposure to the sun.) This is one of the most effective and

easiest ways to protect your skin, and yet so many of us forget to do this. To make this easier, check that your everyday facial lotion has an SPF of at least 30. (No need to spend extra on ultra-high SPF as there is little benefit and usually higher prices for the higher numbers. you’re concerned about

break-outs, then look for a non-oily lotion that is light (so you don’t drag your skin when you apply it).

Additionally,

lotion

that

is

noncomedogenic will not block your pores. A broad spectrum cream will help to protect you from both Ultraviolet A (which tans and ages skin) and Ultraviolet B (which is one that causes sunburn). lotion on your body (or spray as much as One of the biggest downfalls to sunscreen is

can

that people may misapply it. It takes more

It’s important to reapply it every two hours

than randomly slapping some lotion on your

throughout the day especially if you’re

bare legs at breakfast most of the time. It

swimming or in a windy environment.

helps to slow down and pay attention to the

(Wind evaporates your sweat and tricks you

application process. I think most people

into thinking you’re not really burning.)

have experienced “missing a patch” and

Sensitive skin may need more frequent

then finding an uncomfortable area of

applications. Here’s to a happy summer for

sunburn later. Being mindful of application

both you and your skin.

be

rubbed

in).

can help to prevent this.

So – be liberal with the lotion – experts recommend two to three tablespoons of

Carla McMahon is a homemaker and freelance writer of interests for women. She lives with her family in North Carolina.

I Came a Long Way, Baby

By Susan Hamilton As a 21 year-old woman I stood on the doorstep of the Plano Police Department about to be picked up by a representative from our local women’s shelter, Hope’s Door. Two-year-old son on my hip, bag on my shoulder, purse hanging on my forearm and a Virginia Slim Ultra Light between my two shaking fingers; we were leaving a violent drunk who had become unpredictable and routinely dangerous.

Earlier that spring, he had grabbed me by my ankle and pulled me down the stairs, causing me to lose my second pregnancy.

By the summer, he had pushed me backwards onto a coffee table and fractured my L4 vertebrae. Many people had a hard time believing that I didn’t leave him until he took off with my golden-haired child, running drunk through our apartment complex after an escalated argument – but I didn’t have a job, an education, a car or a

phone. My parents lived in town, but he knew where they lived and I didn’t want him terrorizing them.

No, for me it was just easier to smoke pot, clean my apartment, let time pass and hope it would all be different one day. But it only got worse. When I realized my son was in danger too, it changed everything. The night he took off with him through the apartment complex, I went to the neighbor’s apartment, called the police and had him picked up. They would only take him for public intoxication, and told me that bought me 12 hours to get out of there.

That was the second time the law had ignored my pleas for physical safety. The first was in Arkansas, when he ran after me in the middle of the night with a gun. I ran as fast as I could to reach the police department about five blocks away. The

baby was with his grandma. I had flagged down a car, but while the driver wanted to help me – his wife wanted me out of the car. By the time they quit arguing, my husband had thrown the gun in the bushes and wrestled his way into the back seat next to me. Horrified, they took us to the police station and told us to get out. Once inside, officers separated us, leaving me alone and talking to him in the other room.

Through the glass I could see there would be no resolution. In a few moments they told us to go home and quit arguing. He led me firmly by the bicep all the way back, retrieved his gun from the bushes and tortured me all night.

I’ve come a long way, baby. I look back at those years and am so grateful for the type of support I got from Hope’s Door. In an average looking home in an average neighborhood, they hid us from the men who had become too obsessed with us for anyone’s good. All the women had jobs to do and responsibilities to share, and the whole set up made it easy to talk with counselors that guided us to understand what we had allowed, and how to think about ourselves - and our children - in a healthier light.

those things to my face – gave me hope and confidence that walking away was the right thing to do, and urgent. Those experiences gave me the attitude and language I needed to respond to situations intelligently. Those conversations revealed the depth of the tolerance I had built up to routine verbal, emotional and physical abuse.

They quickly got me connected to a GED program, which I passed. That surprised me.

I had only completed the tenth grade. It was a big win, and it gave me confidence to keep going. Each night the women were available to hang out in the kitchen and visit. It never felt like therapy, but I can tell you looking back, it most definitely was.

Before long, I had written an essay that admission counselors at the community college approved for me to get an “emergency grant.” I’d never heard of anything like that before, but it got me on my feet and between my new job and school – I started to see that I could live a better life.

I don’t know where I would be today without the support I got at Hope’s Door. It started a spark and gave me the courage I needed to step out of what had become my comfort zone. I went on to raise three boys and two girls with my now husband of nineteen years.

But I Wasn’t the Only Casualty

I knew, deep down inside, that staying with my husband risked my son becoming abusive too. But I had been alone with those thoughts, and something about being surrounded by women who genuinely wanted me to recover – hearing THEM say

There is NOTHING like listening to your kids from a distance and realize the role playing they do. It’s painful to put their drawn pictures away after art time – primitive records of their perceptions, often too accurate. There’s nothing like trying to have a healthy conversation about all they’ve been through as they watched their dad

hurl remote controls and chairs at you from behind the couch. Children learn so much from us at such an early age.

My first husband drowned tragically when my oldest was five and my then youngest was 2. They have never been around another man like him. But at 27 and 24 years old, I see them struggle with some of the same intolerances their father did. Both of them easily berate, belittle and stifle the women they love. I remember when their father went from just mean to just plain violent. It’s not a big leap. Especially if you’re a heavy drinker.

That’s a danger sign. I’m grateful I’ve learned language that no longer incites, but takes authority and knows how to leave a situation before it escalates. I share it with their girlfriends, who, like many young women today, have very little self-respect.

This last year, my oldest son learned to apologize. That doesn’t come natural to him.

We’re not doomed to repeat the past, but we are unwitting sponges, soaking up our individual normalcies from our exposures.

The only father they’ve had for nineteen years is loving, interactive and appreciative.

Their wounds didn’t come from him.

Somewhere in their subconscious lie angry, hurt little boys, learning to be men – but with a skewed look towards women. The similarities make me question myself, because I don’t want to see something that’s not there just because of my experiences – yet it’s hard to watch and say nothing. My words, my interventions, are unwelcome.

One day, as a young woman just out of the shelter, I was eating lunch with 4 women of varying ages from different departments of

the store where we worked. They didn’t know my life. One of them said, “I don’t know why any woman would stay with a man who hit her. She must be a real dumb***.” And then, as if to punctuate it, said “Any woman who would continue to stay in that situation is a real idiot.” The hair on my neck bristled. I was no weak woman, never had been. I remembered feeling like she did as a teenager. I don’t know where it went. But she was talking out of ignorance, because unless you have experienced the inner turmoil of your inabilities and your deficiencies and the vicious eyes of your lover as he holds you by the neck against the wall – later, broken, to apologize in tears and beg you to forgive him - you have no idea what you’re saying.

But I had new power after my stay at Hope’s Door. No, she had no idea what she was saying or who she was saying it in front of. Most women don’t. She had no idea what I had overcome just to sit there eating grilled cheese with her, in a pretty dress with my heels on, with other men within 10 feet of me. I’ve never been a dumb***, but I knew then I had become a warrior princess.

Susan Hamilton is the host and editor of The OffBeat Business Show & Magazine, choosing to focus on showcasing businesses that make a difference in their community, directly or indirectly. Does your voice count? It could, and it should.

Susan@OffBeatBusiness.com

Aging with Grace

By Regina Vono As I move mindfully through my sixth decade, I take stock more and more often of what truly matters in my life … in all our lives for that matter. If you are anything like me, I will bet you can look back at a time in your life when you thought you weren’t anything special to look at, but now, if you found photographs of those miserable times, you might wonder what the fuss was all about. Really!

I recently read a Vogue magazine article with Diane von Furstenberg in which she bared herself, agreeing to have her photo taken while recovering from a serious skiing accident.

In addition to bodily injuries sustained from the fall, the photos revealed facial bruises and abrasions as well. I thought WOW; here’s a very famous fashion icon letting the world see her authentic humanness! I felt both surprised and elated to see someone of her stature embracing her own aging process and telling it like it is. In the article, Furstenberg also talked about times during her youth when she wished to be older than she was at the time, and tried various things to appear that way; very interesting, indeed.

Growing older is simply a fact of life and aging gracefully can become an art form, if we let it. We can treat it as a canvas of our lives, reflecting everything we have been through; the good and the not so good, all of

it.The trick is to embrace each of the stages as we live them without wishing for the past or the future but only the present, and to truly thrive in the midst of each glorious season we are given. Choosing what is will prevent us from wasting so many precious hours, days, or years, lamenting, what isn’t!

Besides, becoming a crone comes with all kinds of benefits like respect, reverence, and a kind of resonance we all hope to find one day. And those silver strands that grace our heads - not to worry they too represent time worn truths that only we can speak to. I have a friend who calls them “wisdom lights.” I agree; that’s what they ARE! We must revel in our crow’s feet and celebrate our laugh lines for our faces tell the stories of our lives and have left their mark in a most profoundly visual way, filled with a myriad of experiences only we have had.

All through my youth, I would often accompany my Italian Nonna Teresina when she visited her very close friend, Lucia Montesante. I loved going to see Lucia. She was a big, bold Italian lady, with an abundant head of hair fastidiously braided around her head and fastened with several tortoise-shell pins.This, of course, was mesmerizing to a young girl like me.

My Nonna and Lucia shared their lives in ways only they could

identify with and I got to listen in as these two incredible and formidable women spoke in confidence. In addition to the sage wisdom imparted during these visits, I also had the pleasure and responsibility of sitting between them while they watched “The Dating Game.” The scene was hilarious as they both tried to convince me to vote for their particular choice, increasingly pulling on my arms to make their case. Looking back, it was truly a privilege to be in their company, and not to mention, there was always a lovely Italian treat to partake in as well. Neither Lucia nor my Nonna would have been described as being beautiful in the way we might define beauty these days, however, their amazing

been given and be incredibly grateful that we are still here to complain about it OR revel in it.

It’s our choice. And, let’s take a stand for our youth and lead by example, helping them push away

the elusive parameters society so deviously places on them. I invite you to mentor our very impressionable young women with choosing what is. There is nothing more important we can leave as our legacy for future generations.

I will close with this very insightful quote from Furstenberg: “My face reflects the wind and sun and rain and dust from the trips I’ve taken.

My face carries all my memories.

Why should I erase them?”

tenacity for living, teaching, and thriving, put them in a category all their own. And, that my friends, is the TRUE definition of beauty; nothing too obvious but fervently present through and through.

Instead, let us take what we have

And remember … someone just might come and watch old reruns of “The Dating Game” with YOU one day!

Regina Vono is a freelance contributor to “le femme FOCUS Magazine.” She lives happily in the Greater Dallas Metroplex.

My Life As A ‌ Dancer

By Laura Klekar

My Life As A dancer ... No, I did not shut down my business to become a full-time dancer. I am still an OOMPH Specialist. What I am doing is pursuing a dream I've had since I was a little girl. Growing up I took classes in gymnastics, ballet, tap, and jazz. As an adult I have taken ballroom and Exotic dance classes. So I guess I like dancing. However, as good as I got at any dance, I always thought I was not as good as I could have been. I always felt others had more flexibility or rhythm. This didn’t stop me from dancing, but I never saw myself as an elite dancer.

About a year ago I met Melissa. Melissa is a trained professional dancer. She has been dancing her whole life, and studied dance in school. She is amazing.

As an adult she opened a dance company called Epiphany Dance Arts. She is my hero. Last year I discovered that she offers private dance/fitness classes. I thought this would be a great way for me to up my fitness and exercise, so I signed up for private lessons. I was expecting to have fun and get some exercise. It has become more. I am now actually training in dance. I am no professional by any means, however, I believe that I am better than I anticipated I would be. My classes have gone from exercise and fitness to dance training. Melissa is so encouraging and is helping me workout my muscles and regain my flexibility and add more strength.

I so look forward to my lessons with her. I now take Friday afternoons off from my business for my dance lessons. I dance around the house, practice releves at home; I even stand differently than I ever have before. So you may be wondering why I am blogging about this ‌ because this is my OOMPH! I am letting my inner dancer come out and play. I have always loved dance, but I put it aside when I started my business. I wanted to focus my efforts on growing my business. However, dance speaks to my soul and heart. I will push myself harder in dance than any other fitness regimen. It is also affecting my business. While I have taken some form of dance my whole life, I am really going out of my comfort zone with these lessons. I am going beyond a group class and working one to one with a professional dancer to hone in and strengthen my skills. This has been one of the most challenging things I have done in a while and I love it! You may challenge yourself in business, take risks, go out of your comfort zone, but with this, I feel like with these private lessons I am truly pushing myself to the next level personally and professionally. There is the idea that if I can do this then what else can I do? It is a very similar

experience to the Fire Walk I did a few months ago. When you show yourself what you are capable of and test your limits, you grow in all areas of your life, like my business.

I experienced this when I taught Exotic Dance. I was constantly challenging myself in that form of dance and it translated into further growth in my professional career. It is all connected. As I grow my relationship with myself and grow as a person, my business grows and expands. I create a stronger relationship with my business. This is why having a variety of experiences is so valuable in bringing out your OOMPH. Before all of this, I thought any hope of being a serious dance was long over. I am close to 40 and not very flexible. Yet, here I am taking dance lessons every week, learning more and doing more.

I have made great strides in my dance lessons. I am also doing something else which I never in my entire life thought I would do. I am taking classes on Sunday with the dance company Epiphany Dance Arts.

The women in her company are extremely talented and have been studying and practicing dance their entire lives. I am so inspired by them and I get to dance alongside them every Sunday!! It is so exciting. It can give me some anxiety though; there are times I am lost or way out of league when it comes to certain moves, but I am doing it!

This one decision - to take private dance fitness classes has had such a profound impact on my life and business. Is there something in your life that if you pursued would have a profound impact in both your personal and professional life?

My moment of OOMPH - During a recent class with the dance company I started thinking maybe I shouldn't come back until I got much better at the dance moves. There are moves that are very challenging for me and the other dancers perform them with such ease and grace. I started to really feel like I didn't belong. However, I quickly changed my mind and decided instead that I would practice more at home, work on the areas I could improve on, keep going to class so I can be surrounded by talented and successful dancers and learn from their example. I will not hide away but show up in different way.

Show up in a space of learning, growing, and accepting that while I may not know I all the moves now, I can continue to practice and improve.

That is my moment of OOMPH!

Do you have similar story? Do you have a moment of OOMPH? Share with Laura at http://empowereveryday.com/

Woman to Woman

By Melinda Cooper As CEO and founder of Living the Dream Magazine I make it a point to attend many conferences and meet as many interesting people as possible. Gratefully this works for me, I love watching, learning, and observing others. As we allow ourselves to grow there is no doubt we see many things as we are watching people, especially Women to Women. When they are brought to a challenge of learning, stretching, and putting their dreams to the test there is only success to prevail. I want you to be completely honest with yourself, why do you go to conferences?

What are you looking for when you go to conferences? So many go to just meet and see the people, others go to learn about the people running the conference, while some are seeking answers they probably already have simply need to hear it a difference way. It’s very simple to get lost in what your target it, while missing some of the greatest things by simply allowing the conference to unfold for you!

I was lucky to go to a 2 day Women’s Conference this month which was filled with very interesting women.

There were many women entrepreneurs who were working to learn the next step for their business, some to have a review for their business, and others to find the holes in their business. Amazingly enough no matter what stage each woman was in their business, I could see their looks and emotions as they learned through the process. As part of the conference team, I was there to observe, to assist, and support the Lady that was hosting the event.

You can only imagine the excitement of recognizing answers that were being laid out in front of them. It was a tremendous experience to be a part of women sharing their emotions, their knowledge with each other freely and purposefully in a safe environment of support. There was open discussion, creativity, and brainstorming as any great mastermind development circle you

could have joined. The conference was challenging to most of the women as they faced the honesty of their own business and shared the creativity from their hearts to represent who they are at this moment in their life. As the tempo of the conference flowed, the women became a symphony being played for an enormous crowd; the ladies emerged as a magnificent piece of music. Some finding their own sound in their field and realizing their part of the bigger puzzle leading them to shine for all to see. Allow that music to play within your thoughts‌. to finally understand the bigger puzzle and find your spot!

At this time, perhaps a moment in time when the world is changing and WOMEN are needed to be the best they are meant to be it is easy to realize within each of these very strong women was a wealth of experience, knowledge, friendship, and support. As you can imagine a room filled with women leaders in their own fields ready to spread the word and lead in their own styles and methods.

I felt the emotions challenged, I watched as their thoughts rushed through their minds with great speed, and listened again as they shared those “Ah Ha� moments came alive within their hearts.

I now challenge each of you to think before you go to a conference, ask what it is you are truly seeking from the conference, and find that special conference that will make such a big difference. I employ you to go for a designated purpose while being open to the greatest experience that is meant for you. I know that within all the women who are reading this, there is a miracle waiting for you to allow the world to see you! Within each of you there is a magnificent symphony simply waiting for you to play from the best part of who you are.

Live The Dream that is waiting in your heart for you to give it wings.

Melinda Cooper, Living Her Dream! www.livingthedreammagazine.com

The Training Wheels of Life

By Kathryn Eriksen, PhD in Heart Dancing When I was five years old, my twin brother and I wanted to learn how to ride our bicycles without training wheels. Dad took them off each bike and said, “Are you sure?” We both nodded and couldn’t wait for the morning.

important step forward on the journey to more…and I had to wait.

My five-year old emotional self couldn’t see through the tears, but something broke through the veil and I had a sense of loving energy surrounding me. One minute I was lost, rejected and alone…and the next minute, I was loved, protected and safe.

I grabbed my brother and we went outside to our bikes, still leaning against the curb. I climbed on my bike and asked him to push me. He looked a bit worried but could see the determination in my eyes and knew better than to argue. He ran along beside me, pushing as I pedaled, then I broke free.

I actually believed I could fly!

I have reflected many times on that moment of being lost in myself, alone, angry and frustrated, then feeling surrounded by love. That loving energy blasted my little self apart and I stepped into a union with something much bigger than me.

What happened?

The next day, Mom took us to the curb in front of our house and had my brother go first. With some pushing from behind and encouragement from us, he wobbled down the street and as he picked up speed, straightened. The grin on his face was enough for me to say, “Now it’s my turn!”

But Mom had to go back inside the house…something about something. All I knew was that he got to take that next

Looking back on that defining moment, I now realize what I was doing as I cried against the obvious injustice. I asked a question that never leads anywhere. It is really more of a word than a question, but it has always been used by humans to try to make sense of their life. One word, asked to relieve pain and suffering, actually does the exact opposite. It takes you down a spiraling vortex of negative emotions, leading to nowhere. What is that word, asked through the millennia?

WHY? Why did this happen? Why am I such an idiot? Why does he get everything he wants and I have to wait? Why? Why? Why? Can you see how that question always leads to more questions? If you do come up with an answer, it is usually at your own expense. You become the victim because you are looking outside of yourself for the reason why this happened.

Look at the word itself and you will see a clue about its potential destructiveness when it is directed at yourself or your life.

Take a moment and write the word “why” on a piece of paper. Use all lower case letters, then sit back and let me know when you see it.

Did you write the letters “w-h-y” with the curly part of the letter “y” going back toward the front of the word? Most people do. And that is the clue. The very letters that make up the word “why” turn back in on themselves! Asking the question “Why?” always turns the answer back toward the question.

Whenever you play the victim’s role, your power is forgotten.

Instead of asking “Why?” that loving energy so many years ago showed me a different question to ask. It also reminded me that I was safe, worthy and well-loved. As long as

I started from that place of worthiness, I could never do anything wrong. I remained in my own power to choose and create. The empowering question is also one word, but it leads to expansion and growth, not despair.

What one word should you use to tap into your creative powers, heal yourself and your world?

HOW? How can I learn to ride my bike now? (get my brother to help me and try) How can I do this better? How can I become the person I dream of being?

Can you see that asking “How?” taps into your creative juices?

Your mind immediately begins to supply answers to questions starting with “How” and it liberates you to approach problems with a solution mindset. It also taps into your own self-worth, because it forces you to lean on yourself, instead of blame the outside world. As you take steps toward your goal, you reinforce your own creative abilities to become more.

When you train yourself to ask empowering questions that lead to expansion and growth, your world view changes. Become mindful of the questions that you ask, because they have a direct impact on your life.

Take off the training wheels of victimhood and learn to fly!

Transformation is the best word to describe Kathryn Eriksen. Leaving the practice of law to discover and explore her creative and spiritual sides, she has created a body of work that has inspired, moved and healed others. Her latest book, “Heart Dancing: A Story Alchemy Adventure,” is available on Amazon.

To learn more about Kathryn and join her growing email list, please visit KathrynEriksen.com or EmpoweredWay.com.

FOCUS ON ‌ a stacation kind of mind!

You can get into that vacation state of mind without ever leaving the Metroplex! The cost of travel and vacations continues to go up and up, but that does not mean that you cannot have a vacation though. You can still have fun while not spending as much money with short little day trips and overnight trips to destinations around the metroplex. There are actually plenty of things to do that are a lot of fun, educational and interesting. With the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it is easy to become blind to what is really here and quite amazing. Follow along and we will point out several spots for planning a little adventure in your own backyard.

Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Garden Scenic spots can be found in over 66 acres; check out the renovated Lay Family Garden. Dining options including pack your own picnic, or enjoy tea in the historic DeGolyer Tea Room – seatings at 11:00 and 2:00, prices and menu on website. Treasures to purchase in the Hoffman Family Gift Store. Admission $15, $10 Seniors, Parking $15, Featured Discounts on website.

8525 Garland Road, 75218, 214.515.6615 Dog Park at White Rock Lake Whether you own a dog or not, the Dog Park will be amazing. Due to open May 30 (weather permitting completion), a pavilion, six shade structures, an observation tower, water feature with dog launch. So grab pooch and enjoy some fresh air! whiterockdogpark.org

Food Truck Court in the Dallas Arts District Enjoy street food at the trucks lined up between the Winspear Opera House and Booker T.Washington High School for the Performing and Visual Arts. There’s no question that the food truck craze has taken Dallas by storm, and the trucks represent the city’s diverse food culture- everything from barbecue to tacos to Asian cuisine is represented. The Dallas Arts District is 20 square blocks of museums, performing arts, parks, churches and more dallasartsdistrict.org, 214.744.6642

J. Erik Jonsson Central Library A library can be fun and reading opens worlds for youngsters! Dallas’ largest public library, download a quick guide to the eight floors on the website dallaslibrary2.org. Space is filled with knowledge, filled with quiet.

1515 Young St. 75201 Mon Wed Fri Sat 10-5, Tue Th 10-8, Sun 1-5

Hotel Overnight or for Cocktail Hour Dallas has some gorgeous hotels, rather than HH with friends at local bars or restaurants, be a lone tourist in your own town. Overlook downtown at The Belmont, Hotel Zaza for hot happenings, The Mansion at Turtle Creek for sophisticated relaxation, The Joule, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Embassy Suites in Addison & Frisco for suburban class, The Ashton in Ft. Worth with historical flair and the Omni Mandalay in Las Colinas offering exotic charm, to name a few.

Leonhardt Lagoon at Fair Park Large plant form sculptures entwine at the center of the lagoon to create a bridge visitors can traverse. The lagoon is also the site of swan boat rides and The Leonhardt Lagoon Nature Walk.

This walk comprises 25 numbered markers and four descriptive panels highlighting the birds, insects, plants, trees, fish and other wildlife that make their home at the lagoon. A printed walking guide, keyed to the markers, helps visitors learn more about the flora, fauna and wildlife living around the area of each of the markers. Rent a Swan Boat and paddle your worries away. $10 fairpark.org

Museum of Biblical Arts and Gift Shop From its founding in 1967 by Mattie Caruth Byrd, The Museum of Biblical Art in Dallas, Texas has had a simple mission: To present historical and contemporary works of art and interest that encourage study, appreciation, and discourse in regards to the evident role of Biblical themes in art history, the humanities, and world culture. An intimate museum presenting historical and contemporary works with a unique Gift Shop. $12, $10 Seniors, Tues-Sat 10-5, Sun 1-5 7500 Park Lane (across from NorthPark Center) 75225 214.368.4622

NorthPark Center Forget the luxury shopping and enjoy the mall’s world class art. Take your own tour of the major works throughout by Andy Worhol, Frank Stella, Joe Shapiro, Jim Dine, Jonathan Borofsky, James Rosenquist, Antony Gormley, Barry Flanagan, Beverly Pepper. NorthPark showcases Mark di Suvero’s Ad Astra, 2005, the only indoor, public display of this artist’s work, in the world.

8687 North Central Expressway 75225, 214.363.7441

PF Chang’s China Bistro When you finish your tour of NorthPark enjoy Happy Hour at Chang’s where women seem to own the bar. A Unique Dining Experience Offering Chinese & American Inspired Cuisine with a superlative Happy Hour. Grab a chair!

M-Fri 3-6 Bar menu etc.

Pfchangs.com, 214.363.7441

Vetro Glassblowing Studio and Fine Art Gallery Is a working studio and gallery in Grapevine, Texas founded in 1999 by Master glass artist David Gappa. Hours for the studio and the gallery vary so check the website. There you’ll get info on coming events such as the annual Main Street Days of Grapevine 701 S. Main Street #103, Grapevine 76051 vetro art glass .com 817.251.1668

If you're thinking of taking a yacht vacation, no need to look any further than SELECT CHARTERS! – Carlene Robinson Dailey

www.SelectCharters.com Peggy@SelectCharters.com 4020 N. MacArthur Boulevard Suite 122-183 • Irving, TX 75038 (972) 659-8941

THE PATH LESS TAKEN

BY JULESE CRENSHAW Rome, Florence, Milan. Not surprisingly, Italy is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world. Romantic, historical, intriguing, describe the hot spots, but one should definitely plan to visit the less-traveled regions for the true culture and beauty that Italy offers newcomers. Five major regions create a palette of versatility where you can eat, drink, wander and even truffle-hunt your way through this Mediterranean gem.

FROM PICTURESQUE CAN ALS IN VENICE, WANDER VENETO Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and The Taming of the Shrew were set in the towns of Verona and Padua, away from the coastline in Veneto. Once you've explored the picturesque canals of Venice, head farther into the region where you can stroll through the charming, romantic plazas and hear an outdoor concert at a first-century Roman amphitheater of Verona. Then you can explore the Prato della Valle, one of Italy's largest piazzas surrounded by water and statues in the university town of Padua.

LEAVE THE BUSTLE OF THE A M A L F I C O A S T F O R P U G L I A

Puglia, the Adriatic Sea town in the heel of Italy’s boot, is quieter and less frequented by tourists, offering the beauty of gorgeous beaches and historic architecture

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Alberobello, both recognized as UNESCO World Heritage Sites. And no evening would be complete without dining inside a carved-out limestone cave with a view of the sea at Grotto Palazzese.

EMILIA-ROMAGNA IS A MUST SEE AFTER FLORENCE If you are a foodie, Emilia-Romagna should not be overlooked! It is one of Italy’s smallest regions, with the historic towns of Bologna and Parma (which gave their names to your favorite charcuterie) being culinary havens.

Visit a Parmigiano-Reggiano or balsamic factory, take a home-made pasta-cooking class and feast on meats and cheeses at a countryside osteria. The region is also home of the famous Ferraris and Lamborghinis.

THE ROAD FROM TUSCANY LEADS TO UMBRIA For a quieter, laid-back experience (thanks to fewer tourists), head east from the Tuscan countryside for neighboring Umbria. Called the "green heart� of Italy, it is home to verdant hills and vineyards, medieval villages and authentic cuisine. You can visit Norcia world famous for truffles and wild-boar sausage, and enjoy the wine from the hamlet of Montefalco, known for their Sagrantino grape.

THE PIEDMONT SHOULD FOLLOW MILAN A region famous for its medieval towns and sweeping landscapes situated against the Alps, is the Piedmont, an escape from the hustle and bustle of metropolitan Milan. You might visit Canelli, where an ‘underground cathedral’ of connected cellars makes sampling spumanti wine a delight, or experience truffle hunters seeking the worldrenowned white truffles, culminating with a lavish truffle-based meal paired with red wine and local specialties.

Julese Crenshaw is a freelance writer from Tennessee.

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