the
laureate
Where are the Chick-fil-a
9/18-26 Autumn begins 9/23 October SAT 10/09 Homecoming Week 10/11-15 UGA early app. deadline 10/15
44 Music %
12 %
7%
17%
September break
Food
news
Hutson Mason becomes the eighth person in college football history to throw a touchdown on his first pass.
Sleep
September 2010
Exercise 2
inside
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Lassiter High School volume XXVIII: issue one Hats Off! What’s Happening? How do you deal LHS alum Football at Milton HS 9/17 with stress?
a student publication of
biscuits?
Spirit shines through loss a&e Redeeming the web...
Tosh.O features Meet the staff
Laureate
lindsay hopkins and katie hayes features and A&E editors “The forty-five minute drive was definitely worth it!” exclaimed senior Taylor Robbins about the dome game. Many Lassiter seniors came together with food, friends, and body paint to prepare the student section for an intense night of cheering for their Lassiter football team. The group had four cars backed up to the tent in the orange lot by the dome, where they had food, music, and games. “It was great to have such a diverse group of seniors – and even some juniors – come together to share in these pre-game festivities!” commented Ansley Astuto, 12. The raging group of painted seniors who led the student section into the stands were seen and heard throughout the stadium. This group was made up of Taylor Bradley (T), Matt Green (R), Adam Cooper (O), Taylor Robbins (J), Will Prosperi (A), Chandler Hunt (N), and Garrett Strunk (S). At the tailgate, the senior girls spent most of their time completing this masterpiece. “It took us about an hour to paint the boys because we had to let each color dry before moving onto the next. In the end, T-R-O-J-A-N-S looked awesome!” exclaimed Katie Cox, 12. Entering the dome waving their flags and banners, students filed into the stands at the fifty-yard line. Within minutes, the stands were flooded with fans decked out in all-white and it was apparent the Trojans had arrived. Across the way, the North Gwinnett Bulldogs attempted to counteract the Trojan white-out with a sea of black. Despite the loss, Trojan fans are still excited for the upcoming season. The Bulldogs may have had the upper hand in this game, but the Lassiter student section was clearly superior to theirs! “Having our first game in the dome was a great way to start the season! It got us that much more excited for the rest of the games!” cheered Sabine Schartman,12.
sports then
& now
2-3 4-6 8-9 10-11 centerspread 12-13 features 14-17 features 18-20 in the wry 22-23 news editorials sports jff
New schedule causes mixed feelings skye rubel editor-in-chief
The 2010-2011 school year schedule is very different from what Cobb county residents are used to. Students started school earlier, have five less days, and have two more week-long breaks. In the past, Lassiter High School resumed classes in mid August. This year, because of the addition of two breaks, school began on a Thursday in early August. These breaks will occur in September, from the 20th to
the 24th, and in February, from the 21st to the 25th. Ordinarily, the Cobb County schedule has 180 days of school; however, this year it has been reduced to 175: eighty-five days in the first semester and ninety in the second. Each semester will also include one early release day where students get out two hours earlier than normal. Students had one on August 25th and the next will occur on February 2nd. Along with this new schedule come mixed feelings. Joe Black, 11, commented, “It’s great that we have
extra breaks but I’ll probably have to spend them doing homework anyway.” Another student, Ally Stone, 12, remarked, “I love getting off in September and February! I know I’m going to need the breaks after doing all of these college applications and standardized tests.” The 2010-2011 Cobb county school year is different from years before but only time will show if change is for the better. As one Lassiter parent put it, “As long as my child is getting a quality education, I don’t care if we have two breaks or twenty.”
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Facebook:cyber-stalking made easy? annabel edwards jff editor
By The Numbers 35
million status updates every day of Facebook users areoutside
70
9.5% of Facebook users are ndmost visited website today 2 8.3 hours spent on facebook between ages 14-17
%
Some users, such as Tansey Schoonover, 12, find the feature useful. “At first I thought of Facebook Places as Facebook has released a tool that kind of creepy, especially when you’re makes cyber-stalking easier than ever. constantly updating it, but it’s actuPreviously, the site was the place to go ally a useful thing to have when you’re to find out who, what, and when. Fi- going out somewhere. You can meet nally, the last piece of information is in up with people you didn’t even know place. Facebook Places is a new fea- were nearby.” Facebook personnel exclaimed that ture that allows users to share where Places allows users to take advantage they are at all times. Using Facebook Places, users can of unexpected coincidences. The ap“check in” to any store, restaurant, plication certainly provides means to or location as they arrive. This alerts do that, but will people be taken adfriends to their location and, in turn, vantage of along the way? Personal allows them to see if any friends are information is already accessible to nearby. Users must be relatively close more people than ever before; some to their location to check in to it or the question whether it is wise to add more data to their rapidly growing alert will not be posted. This application is available to any- digital trail. Alex Lilly is one user who is wary of one who has internet access on their cell phone. Those who wish to activate the new feature. Alex proclaimed, “I the feature must visit a certain web- think that it’s unsafe and I don’t want page from their phone. On the iPhone, everybody knowing where I am at all the feature is accessed by simply rein- times. Technology is becoming too invasive.” stalling the Facebook application.
the United States
billion per month
Did
You Know? The average American consumes 95 pounds of chicken per year. page
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3
. Police in Minne sota reported th at a 15-year-old girl cited for stealing 44 pairs of pa nties from a sto re told officers she w as in need of clea n underwear. St. Pa ul police said th e teenager, who was caught June 19 afte r leaving a Kmart store with a tote ba g loaded with underp ants she didn’t pa y for, asked officers if they “expect m e to wear dirty unde rwear,” the St. Pa ul Pioneer-Press repo rted. The girl w as cited for misdemea nor theft, police sa id.
Chicken, where art thou? laura brink staff writer
All summer I looked forward to the joy of strutting my upper classman stuff into The sky light hall, whipping out my $2.50, and blissfully, dramatically, and satisfyingly biting into a warm Chickfil-a chicken biscuit. This is an experience I have yet to enjoy in the 20102011 school year. Faculty and students alike are begging, no, demanding the return of their beloved biscuits. I am positive many students have skimped on early morning meals in anticipation of the filling of their bellies with fried chicken goodness. The lack of biscuits is now responsible for the starvation of children. How tragic. In the investigation of this article
a glimmer of hope entered my heart in the form of our dear principal, Dr. Richie. “I am in the process of meeting with quite a few vendors,” he explained, “Including Chick-fil-a and hope to have a deal in place soon.” Not only is he fighting for our biscuits, it appears he has opened up contracts for vendors to competitively bid to service the Trojans. There is now a possibility that we could expand our horizons past chicken and experience even broader expanses of quick cuisine. But is it possible to love again? We, as high schoolers, are forced to get up before the sun and we need nourishment for our fragile, juvenile bodies. For the past two years we have come to trust and depend on these biscuits to give us the energy needed to listen to six or seven different teachers ramble for seven straight hours. Chick-fil-a is a cherished delica-
sunsentinel.com/associatedcontent.com
cy for all and we will always wish for their return. However, other retailers are currently competing for Lassiter. Competing for the honor of selling US food! This is a big deal but will our love for chicken hold us back? A big decision is on the administration’s hands. Chick-fil-a, we salute you. And fellow vendors: start your bidding. UPDATE: Bojangles Famous Chicken N’ Biscuits will now be selling breakfast
biscuits in the sky light hall and outside the bottom floor entrance of the science building every morning. Not only will they be providing hungry Trojans with three varieties of biscuits but they will be for sale for $2.oo. This is a fifty cent drop from the price of last year’s Chick-fil-a biscuits. Eat up Lassiter, our dilemma is solved!
lhs editorials eal
Creeping it r natalie
kieta
Facebook creeping has become one of America’s favorite pastimes. It is both entertaining and gives you a sense of accomplishment. With all stalking rights and privileges at our fingertips, it’s hard to resist. Alex Lilly, 11, practically a professional stalker after years of practice, says that “Facebook stalking is an art. You must hone your skills.” The real question is: “To creep or not to creep?” If you are persistent, all of the world’s knowledge can be yours. However, awkward encounters never fail to arise when Facebook creeping: it even happens to the most efficient of stalkers. Facebook stalkers constantly deal with that nagging worry of being
know you’ve hit rock bottom… and the rest of the Facebook community knows it too. You panic and reload the page, only to confirm your worst fears. Should you click “unlike?” No, they will get a notification regardless and will know that you were creeping. You could try to play it off cool, pretending that you
discovered. The worst nightmare of a true Facebook creeper is discovering someone’s profile is private. At that point, friend requesting them seems the only possibility. However, if you only have two mutual friends, you risk reaching your highest creeper potential. Friend requesting is a delicate matter; there is always that one person who 84 of your friends miraculously became friends with overnight. Don’t natalie kieta let that person be you, for once Facebook on cell phones makes Facebook that happens, you Creepy stalking even easier.
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meant to like it, but what if you liked an inside joke that you don’t even understand? Accidently “liking” something on someone’s Facebook profile can lead to unimaginable awkwardness. A couple of months ago there were numerous groups circulating around Facebook that claimed if you joined them and went through various steps, you would be able to see everyone that viewed your profile. Times like these prove extremely worrisome for Facebook creepers. There is that constant worry that a feature like this one that shows the number of times certain people visit your profile will be developed and someone will see that you have been to their profile 2859234659 times. Even the best of stalkers experience awkward situations and are constantly worried about accidentally doing something that will expose them as the creeper they really are. As Trevor Beverly, 11, states, “I have become such an efficient stalker. I feel like I know things about peoples’ lives before they’ve even realized it.
RIP 95.5 the beat jeff
ciesielski August 9, 2010 started out like any other Monday. After struggling to get out of my house, I instinctively turned the radio dial to 95.5 FM to listen to some classy music before yet another long day at school. Much to my surprise, I found myself listening to Clark Howard talking about some product I’ll never use. After listening for about five minutes, I realized that I was no longer listening to 95.5 the BEAT; I was listening to WSB News/Talk Radio. Like most people under the age of 40, I was distraught that 95.5 the BEAT got replaced by WSB. After the shock and anger wore off, I found myself wondering why anyone would replace a contemporary pop music station with almost one million listeners and replace it with conservative talk radio. So I asked Dan Kearney, Vice President and Market Manager of Atlanta Radio. “Atlanta Radio owns the stations B98.5, 97.1 the River, Kiss 104.1,
WSB News/Talk Radio, and 95.5 the BEAT. WSB has been the biggest revenue producer and Atlanta Radio wanted to get it onto an FM radio station because AM radio is defunct. Unfortunately, 95.5 the BEAT was the least profitable of the stations and was eliminated,” explained Kearney. But how could the most popular of the five stations be the least profitable? According to market research, listeners of 95.5 the BEAT are generally younger and don’t have as much money as those who listen to talk shows and easy listening stations By not making enough money, 95.5 the BEAT consigned itself to an early demise. With the loss of 95.5 the BEAT, many students will have to find a new favorite radio station to tune in to. Those students who enjoyed the BEAT’s pop songs may want to turn their dials to Q100 (99.7 FM) or STAR 94 (94.1 FM), Top 40 stations that play mainly pop and rock songs, while those who preferred the hip/hop songs should tune into HOT 107.9, the only remaining station in Atlanta that plays rap music. While these stations should provide decent substitutes, nothing can fill the hole left by the departure of 95.5 the BEAT.
www.thequickhour.com
No Longer
One of the rappers who will be missed by the faithful 95.5 listeners is Soulja Boy.
Did
yo u know?
16-year-olds are 3 times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than the average of all drivers.
Editors-in-Chief Skye Rubel Cory Shaw
News Editor Julia Regeski
Editorials Editor Natalie Kieta
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“
The Laureate Staff 2010-2011
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Stop taking my parking spot! Assigned parking just brings trouble. -Alex Adkins
A&E Editor Katie Hayes
Annabel Edwards
Centerspread Editor Mary Ann Staak
Features Editor Lindsay Hopkins
Comedy Editor Sports Editor Jack Herman
Staff Writers
Laura Brink Jeff Ciesielski Vince Gonzalez Austin Hayes Will Morris Colleen Purdy Renee Puvvada Samantha Weissert
Advisor Mr. Todd Henry The Laureate is a student publication of Lassiter High School; a member of the Georgia Scholastic Press Association. Editorials reflect the opinions of individual writers and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Lassiter High School, Cobb County Schools, or their administrators. Financial support for The Laureate is obtained through advertising and subscription sales, and generous patron contributions.
Lassiter High School 2601 Shallowford Road Marietta, Georgia 30066 (678) 494-7863 lhspress@gmail.com issuu.com/lhspress
laura
brink
As a meek little sophomore, the worst part of my day was hunting down my older sister’s car in the crowded parking lot. Had assigned parking been in effect, I would have been saved from that grueling search. My esteemed colleague is clearly not thinking of this; shame on you Will. Another benefit, though not as practical, is called finally- having-anexcuse-to-get-the-kid-who-pickedon-you-in-fourth-grade-in-troublebecause-he- just-parked-in-your-spot game. Take that bullies. Although some complain of “obscene sweating” and “asthma attacks” during the walk through the parking lot, I say a little exercise never hurt anyone. A little more on the serious side is the benefit to those in charge of parking lot management and security. If those involved with parking chose to return to assigned parking after one year of trying something new, don’t you think that means assigned parking is easier for them to handle? Assigned spaces also simplify the task of ticketing cars that have not paid their dues. I forked over fifty dollars for my space and I wouldn’t want someone to park in it for free. There is always the issue of spot stealing, as Will brought up, but maybe he should take the initiative to have a three minute conversation with PPO to report the deviant. Making life simpler for faculty with so much to do, for students in search of a ride, and for those seeking revenge, assigned parking is a gift from the heavens packaged with a lovely parking decal on top.
Herman wears a smug grin after finally parking in his dream Smug Jack spot; a spot, that is not his. Jack prefers unassigned parking.
I
ssue:
Parking has been switched back and forth over the years numbered parking versus designated lots. This year, the numbers matter. Which type of parking is more beneficial to students?
natalie kieta
Decal
This year students were given spaces.
will
morris
Numbered parking is like a game of dominos; it only takes one wobbly domino to throw off the balance. In our case, wobbly dominos are those delightful students who have no parking decal, yet still park in our lots. It only takes one of these special dominos to crumble the structure of numbered parking. However, this problem can be easily fixed. The honor system now-a-days holds less weight than it used to and people need more incentive to follow the rules. This can be accomplished with tickets and even towing. Let this be a warning to you spot swappers. This may seem harsh, but if you’re late you deserve the long walk; that’s what you get for hitting the snooze button for the fourth time. If you get to school early, you should get the opportunity to get home early. The front parking spot is a privilege for those motivated enough to get up early and grab it. After all, the early bird gets spot #93. Ms. Brink has maked some good points in her argument, but she has never had to endure the turmoil of rolling up to her spot, only to see another student disgracing it with a car that does not belong. She has never had to drive in circles, searching for the next best thing. For those of us who have lived through that trauma, we understand.
CON
Tyler Molinaro
natalie kieta
PRO
JFF Editor
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lhs editorials Frozen face off vince
gonzalez Frozen Yogurt shops have been popping up like never before. Within the last year, at least ten new stores have opened their doors and attempted to out-do their competitors. But how do you know which is the best? After recent visits to Marietta’s three yogurt hot spots, we have been able to select a supreme yogurt ruler. These results and summaries come from strict and in-depth opinion of frozen treats. The elite three who made the cut were Yogli
Mogli, Menchie’s, and Cloud 9. Particapants were scored on a scale of one to ten (ten being the best) in these six categories. Variety, price, tastiness, friendliness of staff, cleanliness and overall experience. Yogli Mogli scored an average of 8, Menchies an average of 7.33, and Cloud 9 an average score of 9.67. Therefore, Cloud 9 is the ultimate Frozen Yogurt paradise. If ever you are craving a delicious frozen treat, it should definitely be your first stop. And they offer delicious cupcakes! Menchie’s higher prices and lack of friendliness surely led to their downfall. Although Yogli Mogli had variety, there yogurt was surprisingly bland. Cloud 9 excelled in all fields and out-does all competitors. Who knows, maybe by next year a new yogurt super power will dethrone the king.
“There are so many new frozen yogurt places... it seems like they just popped up over night!”
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The Fro-Yo
Scale-Yo 10 9 8 7
Goodbye to the world’s best boss annabel
edwards “You spend your whole life trying to get people to like you and then you run over one person with your car – not even one of the popular ones – and everybody gets on your case. Doesn’t make any sense.” Michael Scott is the world’s worst boss. He’s immature, childlike, and so blunderingly awkward that he once grilled his foot on a George Foreman grill. Completely incompetent and forever inappropriate, Michael has provided one of, if not the biggest source of comedy on television since 2005. But earlier this year, Steve Carell announced that after the 7th season, he will be leaving The Office. In a perfect world, the show would make the 7th season its last, ending with all its characters in tact instead of trying to stagger on without its infamous boss. However, the writers have hinted that the show is to continue on without Carell, which, quite frankly, will be a suicide mission. Yes, the other characters are dynamic and hilarious and all of the above, but Michael was the one who kept them cen-
tered. Taking Michael Scott off of The Office and trying to continue the show as it was is roughly equivalent to ripping the sun out of the center of the universe while telling the rest of the
one who keeps the rest of the characters aligned. Try, briefly, to imagine the show Michael Scott-less. Staff meetings are no longer centered on ridiculous topics
sensical tasks such as organizing fun runs in the hopes of finding a cure for rabies. “That’s What She Said” jokes will certainly dwindle. Michael had a way of painfully wringing the maximum amount of awkwardness out of any situation and saying the worst thing he could possibly say whenever given the chance. These were the driving comedic forces of The Office and without them one cannot help but wonder if the show will flounder. But regardless of how well the show will or will not do without him, Michael Scott is leaving. The best we can do is look back over the last six seasons and thank him for providing a constant source of bumbling entertainment with a few golden moments of touching inspiration thrown in: during one of the best and most unexhttp://images.dvdcollectionsale.com pected moments of the fifth season, Michael spontaneously quits The many Lassiter students who tune in to the Office on Thursday his job at Dunder Mifflin. Just as Missed nights will really miss the world’s best boss. he’s about to walk out the door planets, “Oh carry on in your natural such as “energizing” the work space or cel- for the last time, he turns around orbit; you’ll be fine!” ebrating Michael’s 15th anniversary at the and, with a smile, says, “You have No matter how you look at it, Mi- office, but instead address actual problems. no idea how high I can fly.” Michael is the center of the show, the Office time will no longer be spent on non- chael Scott, here’s to you.
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Marci takes running to a new austin hayes staff writer
So you might be saying, “Who is Marcie Merriman?” Well, for this athletic, comedic sophomore there is more than meets the eye. As a freshman, Marcie started out as one of the Top Seven for the cross-country team as well as starting varsity for the lacrosse team. When asked where her ambition and drive come from she replied, “I have been running track and crosscountry since I was in the fourth grade. I have always been good at running long distances and I guess cross-country is where I excel.” It seems Marcie Merriman was born with cross-country in her blood. Even though Marcie has only been here for a year, she has already left her mark on the cross-country team. “My greatest accomplishment was during my first season of cross-country where I made the Top Seven as a freshman. My parents were very proud of me for beating out many of the upperclassmen.” For Marcie’s entire life she had been working hard to get where she is now, and nothing can stop her
L
ners on the team. Marcie knows that cross-country is one of her passions and it may not last forever. “I don’t plan on running in college, but I want to run in long distance races like marathons.” The possibilities are endless for what her future may hold.
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from becoming the best runner she could possibly be. Another amazing feat of Marcie Merriman happened during the 12 Minute Run a couple of weeks ago. During this team race, Marcie came out on top holding the number one position on the team. As a sophomore, she did the unthinkable and was able to beat many other excellent run-
Lassiter dominates annual 7 on 7 jeff cieselkski staff writer
There have been many questions surrounding this year’s Lassiter football team following the departure of record-setter Hutson Mason. Quite a few of those questions were answered following Lassiter’s win at the 16-team Georgia Invitational 7-on-7 Tournament held at Frank Fillmann Stadium on July 17-18. The Trojans went undefeated over the weekend to earn their spot in the National 7-on-7 Tournament held at Hoover High School in Alabama. For those students who are unaware, 7-on-7 is a 22 minute football scrimmage without linemen, pads, and running plays. Quarterbacks only have a certain amount of time to get rid of the ball or else it’s a sack. Points are awarded for touchdowns, defensive stops, and interceptions and the team with the most points at the end of the game wins (obviously). Lassiter started out the tournament with wins over Lovejoy, Eagle’s
Landing Christian, Griffin, South Gwinnett, Flowery Branch, and South Lake, Florida. The Trojans were the best team in their side of the tournament and earned the number two seed, losing
Sophomore quarterback Eddie Printz played no small part in Lassiter’s tournament sweep. Mason’s successor threw 14 out of 21 passes for completions and four touchdowns.
jeff cieselski
Victory
The LHS football team proved to be successful at the 7 on 7.
a tie-breaker for the number one seed to Kell. After taking care of a young Lassiter “B” squad, Lassiter rolled over Kell in the semifinals and Walton in the Finals to take home the crown.
When asked about the team’s success, Printz said,” The team played well as a whole. The defense made plays when they needed to. We’re going to have a good season thanks to Coach Irwin.
By the numbers
1 32 13 22 7
the place we came in on the state level the number of national teams competing the place we came in on the national level the number of minutes each game is Quarterback Eddie Printz’s number
Did
You Know? Helmets were not mandatory in college football until 1939. page
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ding a
cheerle then
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then
bask
Uniforms: then and now now
Dome game: a quick start fizzles fast jack herman sports editor
they Dogs went on a 34 point scoring rampage that saw LHS not get the ball inside North Gwinnett territory until Only a few ticks had passed the 5:45 mark. The Bulldog’s scoring began off the clock and already Lassiter had a 7-0 lead. Seconds earlier, from the in the middle of the first quarter as shotgun position, sophomore Eddie quarterback C.J. Uzomah threw his Printz threw a perfect screen to fleet- only touchdown pass on their first footed wide receiver stand-out Charlie drive. The Bulldog’s offense got a huge Hegedus. Hegedus streaked down the boost at the end of the first quarter as field and touched base 81-yards later. special teams’ specialist Dayton OverJunior Brendan Campbell said, “It was street blocked Lassiter’s punt. The ball a huge play that really swung the mo- was recovered on the five yard line, mentum towards us. We fought hard and the dogs cored a few plays later. Printz’s first game was sucthroughout the entire game.” From then on the game was cessful in many ways. He threw two not exactly what Lassiter was hoping touchdown passes (both to Hegedus) for as the seventh-ranked Bulldogs as and ended up 16 of 30 while under
consistent pressure from players Brandon McGowan (two sacks) and Justin Alabi. “We are a young team. We’re going to make some mistakes but in the end we will learn from those and improve,” Stated sophomore linebacker Ryan Gildea. These mistakes were evident in game one but as everyone knows at Lassiter, Coach Irwin wwas quick to correct them for the match-up against sprayberry
colleen purdy
Score
The celebrations began early on as the team got a quick touchdown.
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A day in the life of Zoe Kakou colleen purdy staff writer
“And I was like baby, baby, baby ohhh..” As 6:15 appeared on Zoe Kakou’s iHome she snoozed Justin Bieber for a whole hour and fifteen minutes. Zoe realized by 7:45 that if she did not get out of bed and beautify herself within the next fifteen minutes her bus would come and go, and that colleen purdy she would once again be late. staff writer “My mom doesn’t love me... she makes me ride the bus.” Zoe The class of 2014 faced the dreaded chuckled as she explained her morning Skylight and “dun dun dun..” the sein great detail. niors! Some freshman shared their As she was rushing to make “Freshman Mishaps,” and took her bus, Louis, her half golden retrievpride in knowing that they contriber/half yellow lab, tried to escape and uted in being this years average little dash out the door. Luckily this time freshies. Zoe used her epic ability to stop Louis “I was thrown into the wall by Trenton and her morning went on without the excitement of chasing Louis around Gantt.” – Chase Perry North Hampton. “I learned about Persians in Mr. Minich’s class today. Exciting, eh?” Ms. Kakou elaborated on what
Freshmen
Mis ha ps
“I went to third period instead of second, and it wasn’t even the first day of school!” –Kayla Merwin
“I got beat up in the bathroom.” – Brad Armstrong
I left my tennis shoes at home, and I had band for three hours that night. I wear a nine and a half, and i learned that a five and a half works when I need it to!” –Julia Miller
“Some senior zip-tied me to a locker in Skylight!” -Anonymous
she learned today with a gleaming smile. “She slipped going up the stairs today, and there was a hot guy passing by,” her best friend butted in, sharing Zoe’s “No-one-needed-to-know that” moment. During ASE Zoe prepared for the Chorus trip to Austria and Vienna. “I am so excited for that trip! It’s going to be amazing!” Zoe then elaborated on the thoughts in her head, “I invented a teleportation device earlier this morning, between saving my dog and catching the bus, but it broke!” After school Zoe hopped back on the big yellow school bus, “Sweet ride!” and departed for home. Shortly after arriving home Zoe went to Centre Stage, the dance studio she spends three and a half hours in almost every day. “I have Senior Hip Hop, Jazz, and
They should be
a couple natalie kieta
other quite frequently. Becoming a editorials editor couple at this point seems like an obvi Emily Happ and Matt Stenzel ous choice. They would be one of the are meant to be. Why would the two most beautiful blonde power couples be perfect beyond perfection? First of to ever grace the halls of Lassiter High all, they are the best of friends, and as School. They would be a paragon of we all know, the perfection, strollgreatest relationing through the ships blossom school hallways out of friendhand-in hand. ships. (This is Their witty bannot to be conter would serve fused with the as entertainment instance in which for all. Even the two people are most skeptical “just friends,” curmudgeons aka: stuck in the would believe in friend zone.) soul mates after Having dated in seeing the two the past, Emily together. Emand Matt have ily and Matt are stayed on good made for each terms even afother. Chemistry, ter the end of common sense, faceinhole.com and all other laws their relationship. They are Bliss The ‘couple’ smiles happily on of nature mantheir wedding day. adept at workdate it. As Aning through their drew McMahon problems and communicate freely. of Jack’s Mannequin would say, “We They also share the same group of were made, we were made for each friends, and so are able to see each other.”
then Lyrical.” After returning to her pal Louis, Zoe did what all fifteen year olds do; she watched SpongeBob. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and watch SpongeBob.” Zoe’s free spirit reminds everyone that taking some time to just kick back and have some fun makes even the most stressful of days so much better. “I’d like to give a shout-out to Mr. Minich for my theme music as I walked into class this morning! And to Señora Wright for being more awesome than an awesome thing in an awesome place!” Ya gotta love ‘em!
Heard in the halls You know what they say about eavesdropping
“Fine! I’ll repopulate the earth with you!” “She’s one of those girls where I’m surprised she’s still alive.” “Freshmen usually eat each other anyways...” “My head feels like a massive pumpkin.” “The only thing that could make my day better would be if Taylor Lautner fell through the sky.” “He’s adorable! I just want to put him in my pocket and carry him home!” “You promised an elephant and I won’t accept anything less.” “I will dig a tunnel like a freaking aardvarck to get to him if that’s what it takes!” “I wish my boyfriend had a mullet...”
Compiled by the Laureate Staff
Did
You Know? A University of London study found that “infomania” — a term connected with addiction to texting — can lower your IQ by twice as much as smoking marijuana.
Dear Too Much Texting,
Dear Too Much Texting, It is quite tragic to get Tho it may b hard 4 addicted to texting. It’s just so u 2 not txt n class, u should rebellious to be able to do it! no that u arent alone. 9 Whenever your teacher makes out of 10 high school stuyou particularly angry, you pull dents have txted over the out your cell phone, send your last 5 mins they have ben friends an angry mass text about in class. Truly, it is hard not him or her, and then feel that 2 txt or at least play w/ ur much better about yourself. phone while in class. The Well, sort of. That’s actually kind bottom line, tho, is that u of mean. are here @ school to learn So get off the texting so put away ur phone. Or, train that’s been following you if u cant manage that, @ Annabel Edwards least try harder not 2 get from class to class. First of all, a student conceals her phone during caught. don’t quit cold turkey. Cutting Addiction class with a bulky book. yourself off altogether from tex So 1st, put ur ting at school will probably lead phone away and try 2 concentrate on to bad things. Nervous breakwhat is going on around u. Talk 2 the downs, boredom, and even just people next 2 u (quitely) if u have 2, just completely falling apart in genresist the urge 2 pull out ur phone. U eral may ensue. To break this may even make some new friends along dangerous habit, you must use the way. Try 2 limit the temptation of ur a gradual process. Start by turnphone. Zip it away deep within ur backing your phone completely on pack where u cant get @ it. If u keep it silent—not vibrate— out of site and out and tucking it into of reach, u probyour pocket or backably have a better pack. Sure, the tempchance of not ustation is still there, ing it. but it’ll be in such a hard-to-reach Another idea is 2 move up 2 b place that you’ll be too lazy to actually more visible 2 the teacher. Tho it may fetch it. Eventually, begin putting your seem counterintuitive, sitting in a seat phone in your locker all day. If you abthat the teacher can see more easily solutely must keep your phone on you, I’m a compulsive txtr may reduce the time that u think the turn it COMPLETELY off. Push and hold teacher cant c u. And if u know the & I cannot stop txtng n teacher can c u, it is less likely that u will that red button until the screen goes black. And I mean BLACK. This might class. I’ve already been try to txt since u know that u will get hurt you a bit inside and you may tear written up twice & we caught. up at the thought of your poor little Lastly, have some consideration 4 the slider or touch screen or whatever haven’t even been in people u r texting. Giving urself Saturturned off and alone. Well, sorry Too school and getting grounded is bad school a month! LOL 2 day Much, but you will just have to deal. enough, but doing that to others, espemake things worse, I got cially ur friends, is even worse. Try 2 Anyway, I think you would much rather sleep in and text at home than sit use some self-control & think about the 3 other people written in school on a Saturday morning beconsequences of what mite hapup n ther classes becuz pen b4 u whip out ur cell phone. cause a text couldn’t wait until you got home. The bottom line is that I kept sending them If worse comes to worst, if u just have 2 decide that u r gomessages! :( Idk how to ing 2 stop & then follow thru. Its none of these techniques work, LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT HOME. I know! It’s stop, & it’s starting 2 af- all about will power. Tho it may like a different language. Almost imb hard @ first, with some work u fect my grades. My par- can better ur grades, stop wasting possible to comprehend, but honestly, a lack of Saturday school is the most ents have grounded me ur Saturdays in school, and maybe important thing at this point. even get un-grounded. Keep off for the rest of my life, Hugs, Kisses, & Broken Fingers the keyboard and good luck. (from texting). but I still can’t resist. Sincerely, Sincerely,
LT9
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Bumpin’ bumper stickers @ LHS
earn to
leave
behind
Dear Mary Ann and Tyler,
Mary Ann
HELP! How do I get off the full keyboard without going insane?
Sincerely, 2 much txtng
Tyler Texter
Compiled by Skye Rubel
Dr. Richie:
Hanging out with the This or that? Waffle House or IHOP? Waffle House.
Beach or lake? Beach...without all the oil.
the big man
Coffee or tea? Tea.
Cats or dogs? Dogs. I have one named Raisin. Baseball or football? Baseball. I played in college.
Notice the suit
“Lassitery” paperwork
Maroon or gold? Gold for Southern Mississippi!
his drink
Saturday or Sunday? Saturday. Trucks or sedans? Trucks. I’ve got a black Tacoma! Seniors or juniors? Seniors! :)
Describe your family. I’m a guy in a house full of females... even my dog is very blessed.
Who is the most influential/important person in your life
My wife, Amanda. I’ve worked for twelve hour days fo that. She has always been my greatest supporter.
What is an ideal day for you?
Any day that I can relax, get away from email, get o and fall asleeep reading or watching the Braves.
e Big Man on campus More than just a principal...
His doctorate from the University of Southern Mississippi
In his spare time, Dr. Richie loves to do yard work. He said that when he retires, he wants to be a professional gardener. His biggest pet peeve is when people make excuses. “Don’t tell me the water is rough,” he said. “Just bring the ship to shore.” Spiderman is his favorite superhero because he is an underdog. He commented, “ I always pull for the underdog and Spiderman is kind of a nerd.”
two (?) cell phones
New Orleans is Dr. Richie’s favorite place to go on vacation. He loves the energy aned excitement of the city as well as the history.
Mary Ann Staak/staff
a female! I get told what to do all the time. I’m
Papasitos is Dr. Richie’s favorite restaurant.
Besides working in schools, Dr. or a long time and she has always allowed me to do Richie has had a number of different jobs. He used to work for Coca-Cola and for a movie theater. When he was younger, he was a out in the yard and work, grill in the afternoon, lifeguard.
e?
lhs features
Staff
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Get to know the newspaper editors-in-chief Skye Rubel- Skye is a senior and one of the paper’s editors-in-chief. Her favorite place to shop is the thrift store.
Cory Shaw- Cory is a senior and one of the newspaper’s editors-in-chief. He lives by the phrase “carpe diem.”
section editors Julia Regeski- Julia is a junior and will be the Laureate’s News editor this year. Julia loves to eat foreign chocolate.
Tyler Molinaro- Tyler is a junior and this year’s In the Wry editor. He is the staff’s comedic relief during stressful layout weeks.
Natalie Kieta- Natalie is a junior and this year’s Editorials editor. Natalie is an incredible tennis player.
Katie Hayes- Katie is a senior and the A&E editor this year. Katie loves her dog, Tyler.
Lindsay Hopkins- Lindsay is a senior and this year’s Features editor. Lindsay has been dancing since she was 2 years old.
Mary Ann Staak- Mary Ann is a senior. This is her second year being Centerspread editor and she loves Edward Cullen.
Annabel Edwards- Annabel is a junior this year and the Laureate’s Just for Fun editor this year. Annabel stated, “I got swag out the wazoo.”
Jack Herman- Jack is a junior and this year’s sports editor. Jack is pitcher on the baseball team.
staff writers Will Morris- Will is a junior and is a staff writer this year. Will has run over a thousand miles in his lifetime.
Laura Brink- Laura is a junior and is a staff writer this year. Laura loves to dance in her free time at Centre Stage.
Austin Hayes- Austin is a sophomore and he is a staff writer this year. Austin takes pride in knowing how to tie his own shoes.
Samantha Weissert- Samantha is a junior and one of the Laureate’s staff writers this year. Samantha went to France for three weeks over the summer.
Vince Gonzalez- Vince is a junior and he is a staff writer this year. Vince started his own lawn care business over the summer.
Jeff Ciesielski- Jeff is a sophomore and adds to the core of staff writers this year. Jeff is a member of the baseball team.
Colleen Purdy- Colleen is a sophomore and is one of the many staff writers this year. Colleen is an energetic person with a great personality.
Renee Puvvada- Renee is a sophomore and one of the many staff writers for this year. Renee loves being goofy with her friends.
Did
You Know? Americans aged 16-19 face the toughest employment situation since the 1950’s according the job statistics released in July by the Department of Labor.
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page compiled by cory shaw editor-in-chief
A lifeguard for Sears Pool Company, Eric Milam, 12, has a much quite the hectic schedule. He comments, “I work every day and have for the past three summers. It’s enjoyable but I’m glad Labor Day came around so I get time off.” Eric is the head lifeguard at a pool in the Pope High School district as well as the weekday lifeguard at the Chatsworth neighborhood pool.
Jenni Mann, 12, has been working at SG Hair and Spa, a five minutes’ walk away from Lassiter, for over a year. She is consumed with the duties of house wife, answering the phone, booking appointments, and acting as receptionist. Living the self proclaimed ‘high-life,’ Jenni works only two hours Monday thru Thursday and has the rest of the week off.
Meredith Levan, 12, works at Tea Leaves and Thyme, a tea house in Woodstock. Fitting for her personality, this unique shop gives her the chance to be herself. According to Meredith there are “teas for every taste bud,” including her favorite flavor, peach. There are also distinctive seasonal flavors such as ‘snowflake’ during the winter.
Workforce Students in the Despite the fact that Matthew Burchfield, 11, has a hard time with “multitasking and time limits,” he has become more than adequate working at the drive thru for Steak N Shake. In fact, he is so confident in his burger providing abilities that he is contemplating “dropping out of school to pursue a long-term, professional career at Steak N Shake.” All jokes aside, his first months on the job have been enlightening, to say the least.
Fitting
Meredith Levan loves expressing herself at work.
Working as a hostess at Buffalo’s has been a dream first job for Chelsea Reid, 12. She says “I am becoming friends with everyone who works there which makes coming to work all the better.” Even though it’s been only two months since being hired, Chelsea has been going to the restaurant her whole life and loves the easy-going atmosphere.
Mrs. Hurwitz: the voice of LHS samantha weissert staff writer
“This is a message from Lassiter High School.” We all know the voice. We can recognize that accent anywhere. But who is it that calls our house every so often? Who is it that keeps us in the know? Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to Mrs. Jane Hurwitz. Mrs. Hurwitz joins us in the south from Brooklyn, New York, where she lived for twenty-two years. After moving to Georgia she took a job at Lassiter. At first, the administrators were supposed to do their own messages, but they all kept being forwarded to her. Eventually, she just started doing the call-outs for everyone and samantha weissert became the voice of Lassiter. “It’s gotten to the point where people don’t Mrs. Hurwitz is known around the school for her distinctive accent. pick up to hear the message but to hear my voice,” she claims.
Her skills go beyond just clear diction. She exhibits her ability to write by composing her own scripts. She tediously compiles all the tidbits of news in a way that flows and is easily understandable to the Lassiter community. Also, she’s learned how to talk in a southern accent. It’s just another skill she likes to put on her resume. However, she does not see herself as a celebrity. “I’m waiting for the radio stations to give me a call,” she explains. In fact, after leaving Lassiter, she has plans on expanding her voice-over career to the radio where she hopes to become a DJ on a hip-hop station. When that day comes, she will be missed. Her voice has become a familiar sound in many households over the years. On the bright side, when she makes it on the radio, she can count on the Lassiter students to be her loyal listeners.
“It’s gotten to the point where people don’t pick up to hear the message but to hear my voice”
Voice
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When I grow up, I want to be... skye rubel editor in chief
ing and doing homework, John plays the trombone in the marching band. Time spent playing his instrument has enabled him to do what some would
Saget is basically my role model.” Though John rarely does his work at home, he recognizes that he needs to begin filling out college applications. He affirms this decision by saying, “I’m pretty sure I’m going to college. Yeah, I’m definitely going to college.” He does not know what he would like to study or where he would like to go to school, though he is looking into the University of Georgia. John Landers is an excellent student but he doesn’t let it get to his head. He stated, “Getting a 36 on the ACT was pretty cool, but it’s just a number. I could have easily made a 35 and there wouldn’t be this article.”
JOHN LANDERS
Genius
This article could be about how John Landers is a genius. I could introduce him by saying that he received a perfect score on his ACT or that he nearly aced the SAT. But telling you that he is an intellectual god would say very little about the real John. His afternoons skye rubel are filled with everything but schoolwork. John prepares for a test with a smile. While others are study-
consider far more impressive than acing a standardized test: he can hold his breath for ten minutes. When he’s not practicing for the band, John enjoys playing Pokémon. He hates to admit it but he also loves to watch “Full House” reruns on ABC Family. He commented, “Bob
Did
You Know? 42 percent of the Kenyan population is below the national poverty line as opposed to 13 percent in the United States.
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Love in Kenya
Kayla Picchi traveled to Kenya this summer to visit the orphanages mary ann staak centerspread editor
kayla picchi
Nurture
Kayla helps plant new trees for the local churches in Kenya.
Baby boom!
3 LHS teachers are expecting children between October and December laura brink staff writer “Elated!” is the word both Mrs. Kappel and Mrs. Lohlein used to describe the wonder they felt when they discovered their big news. Along with Senora Wright, these two lovely Lassiter teachers are each expecting a precious little baby. Even more excited than these soon-to-be mothers (and in Mrs. Kappel’s case, second-time mother) were their students! Mrs. Lohlein had some of her favorite students last year, “When I finally shared the news,” she gushed about her loving pupils, “they were really excited- they clapped and smiled. It was really fun sharing the news with my students.” Similarly, Senora Wright’s students were overwhelmingly excited for her and, of course, teased her about the accent her child would develop with an Irish born Spanish teacher for a mother and a Scottish dad. Mrs. Kappel honestly reported, “I don’t think half of them know I am pregnant!” October 29 for Mrs. Lohlein, October 13 for Senora Wright, and December 27 for Mrs. Kappel are the planned arrival times of the Trojan stork. And though their due dates
are varied, all three teachers have bonded with one another because of their pregnancies. The new found friends find comfort in sharing experiences, stories, and debacles, like how a bad student can ruin a perfectly good name and how to survive without NyQuil. We’re looking forward to a wiggling and giggling Wright boy, a kiddie Kappel knock out, and a literary loving little Lohlein. A big congratulations g o e s out to these beautiful, delightful, and intelligent ladies from all of Lassiter. Best of luck to you and your little tikes!
Kayla Picchi is not your average senior. Sure, she’s focused on college and her future, her extracurricular activities, and her classes this semester. Additionally, students often hear her filling the hallways with her laughter and her classmates’ ears with her rambunctious stories. Kayla has a love of people, especially those who are less fortunate than her. “I know it’s corny, but when I’m with children who don’t have a lot, it makes me feel so complete. I don’t even know how to describe it,” said Kayla. For the second time in her life, Kayla went on a mission trip with Roswell United Methodist Church to Nairobi, Kenya for ten days this summer. “I went for a second time to see the kids again—to show them that people do love and care for them,” she said about her trips to the second-world country. During her ten days with them in the Africa savanna, Kayla helped the children by visiting orphanages, churches, schools, and
going on a safari. She and her group also visited the largest slum in Kenya, Kiberia. “It’s literally one square mile filled with one million people,” Kayla said. “It was my favorite part of the trip though because it had the youngest kids who were just so open to everything. They were so independent because they either didn’t have parents at all or didn’t have parents who could care for them during the day.” Kayla said that their energy and attitudes towards her group impacted her the most during the trip. “The church services that we attended were phenomenal because they were all just raw worship. It was so simple; there wasn’t any big showy service or anything. It was a real encounter with their faith.” Kayla’s two trips to Kenya have changed her perspective on the rest of her life. “I just want to live there. I love it. I plan on living there for a month next summer.” Besides the sixteen-hour plane ride that exhausted her, Kayla says Kenya is her most favorite spot on earth. “I don’t think I’ll ever get married because my first love will always be Kenya!” laughed Kayla.
kayla picchi
Care
Kayla visits with the children in Kenya at churches and schools.
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iPhone through the ages
compiled by cory shaw/ editor-in-chief
The newest iPhone builds on the revolutionary ideas of its predecessors
Since its release on June 29, 2007, the iPhone first generation has sold over six million times. Nate Clark, 12, once owned Time Magazine’s 2007 innovation of the year. As he comments “At one point it was the coolest thing I had ever owned.” Although the first iPhone had no video camera and had no WIFI connectivity, it allowed the most freedom on the go of any device for personal use.
Over a year since its first release, an upgraded iPhone 3G became available in the eight or 16 GB models. Unlike its predecessor, the iPhone 3G featured a plastic frame with metal buttons. Even though it still did not come standard with video capabilities, a GPS was added, along with a longer battery. Zac Smith,12, had this to say of the iPhone 3G: “It was a successful upgrade from the original.”
Rise of Tosh.0
out his snide remarks and his austin hayes cheerful attitude, Tosh.O would staff writer not be able to withstand a crowd. Tosh.O is growing into one Sophomore Vanya Wentz of the most popular television pro- excitedly states, “Daniel Tosh has a grams on Comedy Central. This whole new perspective of comecomedic and amusing show dy and that is why Tosh.O features many viral videos, is the greatest show sketches, and their world on the face of the renowned “Web RedempEarth. I watch it tions” which give many peoevery week and ple another chance every week to redeem it seems to themget better selves and better.” from their infamous Tosh.O emba r ras s is a new, ment that had rapidly rising show been caught on t a p e that has taken the naand put on You Tube. tion by storm. As Zac Daniel Tosh Daly stated, “I don’t has become a big know what I would name in comedy over do without my weekthe past few years. He ly Tosh.O” Withoutwas named one of VaTosh’s jokes and hiriety’s “10 Comics to larious annotations, Watch” in 2005. His many people around commentary on the the world would not video clips makes be able to function his show one of properly and for the best. Withthat we thank him.
The newest is by far the best. Featuring both a front-facing camera, as well as an LED flash, the iPhone 4 opens the door to video calling. The “Retinal Display” of the LCD screen is the highest image resolution that a human eye can decipher. Nate comments on his recent acquisition of the iPhone 4: “It’s faster… a quantum leap. It’s sleek, thin, and powerful.”
The long-awaited video capabilities and voice control became standard on the iPhone 3GS. Apple’s efforts were focused on processing speed (the ‘S’ in ‘3GS’ stands for speed). A higher resolution is the highlight of a phone that sold over one million devices in the first weekend. Austin Hayes, 10, says, “I am able to do more things in less time than I was able to do with my iPhone 3G.”
Fall concerts
September 14
Public Enemy
September 15 King’s
of Leon
Adam Lambert
September 20
Slash
September 21
Jimmy Eat World
September 25
I Wrestled a Bear Once
September 26
Pepper w/ Shwayze
September 29 October 3
Rush
Bullet for my Valentine
October 6
Drake
vince gonzalez staff writer
Did
You Know? Steve Jobs only earns $1 per year as Apple CEO. The majority of his earnings come from stocks in Pixar.
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Top 10 songs
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Magic by B.o.B.
Lassiter’s comedy king
vince gonzalez staff writer
A future comedy star walks among us Lassiter students. Usually seen cracking jokes with his many friends, Will Gordon is a junior who knows exactly how to tickle our funny bones. The wildely-acclaimed “King of Comedy” performs weekly at Spudz Tavern as part of its “Comedy in the Burbs” Love the Way special and always leaves the You Lie audiences begby ging for more. Eminem Will initiated his own comedy career by simply picking up the phone and requesting a time on I Like It stage. Little did Spudz know that (feat. Pitbull) they were speaking to LasEnrique Iglesias siter’s funniest student. “Ya actually, I just called Spudz, made the guy laugh, and they scheduled me for a show that night.” Since his breakout show, Will has become a regular entertainer for Spudz Wednesday night crowds. Many would think the pressure of performing for so many people would terrify the young man, howunlike most teenagers his age, Airplanes ever, Will harnesses his nerves before by B.o.B. his performances and uses them as energy on stage. “I chill with some friends, and throw my bits
Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner
Dynamite by Taio Cruz
Not Afraid by Eminem
DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love by Usher
California Gurls by Katy Perry
Mine by Taylor Swift
colleen purdy staff writer
out there. However, I always free- is content with his normal life. “I style some Gucci before beginning l o v e doing the shows my set and it always relaxes me.” at Spudz right “Amazing, hilarious, and unbenow, but somelievable,” these were the words of day I’d love to Cameron Bernard when asked about be famous and Will’s latest show. Cameron contintour the counued to say, “Will could be the next try with other Daniel Tosh, and I can only hope famous comthat someday I can ics.” Will is be blessed already with humor like his.” In fact, Daniel To s h is exactly who Will hopes to emulate.
“I just called Spudz, made the guy laugh, and they scheduled me for a show that night!”
“My absolute two favorite comedians are Daniel Tosh and Lisa Lampanelli. I want to be Daniel Tosh’s sidekick, were the same person, just without the deep V necks.” For now though, the “King of Comedy”
well on his way to fulfilling this dream, and his continued love and passion for Comedy will only help. “When I’m on stage it’s almost indescribable. I’m a bird soaring through the clouds. Cause I’m free…..free fallin.”
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Movie reviews
Eat, Pray, Love
natalie kieta editorials editor
What happens when you find yourself in the midst of unhappiness? What happens when you don’t want to accept the meaningless life you are living? What happens when the appetite you used to have for life is no longer there? Elizabeth Gilbert, a writer with a home, a husband, and a wonderful life she created for herself, finds her life filled with emptiness. There is no substance behind her lifestyle, just a pattern of living the same day twice. But she, unlike so many others, decides to take charge and regain the thirst for life she used to have. Despite the questions posed by her friends and family, she divorces her husband and moves out of her home, embarking on a year long journey to Italy, India, and Bali. “Embrace that muffin top!” The first thing Elizabeth Gilbert learns during her stay in Italy is that counting carbs and calories is a waste of time. The essence of life is knowing how to enjoy it. Her next stop is India, where she learns that the first step is forgiving yourself and discovering God. She comes to believe that “God dwells within you, as you.” In Bali, she searches to find love and finds that there are more layers to a relationship than she has ever previously known. “To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.” Julia Roberts, who plays Elizabeth Gilbert in the movie, does a great job
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The
Other Guys
renee puvvada staff writer
of portraying someone who is soul searching; she runs into dead ends before successfully finding herself. This movie may be geared more towards older generations but high school students will still be able to appreciate it, especially girls. Not only does it deal with finding out who you are, but it also takes you on a journey to different countries so you experience their cultures. If for no other reason, you should go see this movie to see the beautiful scenery of everyday life in Italy, India, and Bali. Eat, Pray, Love truly shows that you must insist upon your own happiness. It is one of those movies after which you will get up feeling moved. This movie shows that the most important relationships you will ever discover are those with food, God, other people, and most importantly, yourself.
“The movie was pretty cute and light-hearted.” - Danielle Heubel, 12
Essentially, the typical Ferrell-McKay collaborative comedy can be boiled down to a few single ingredients: oblivious persona, hilarious monologues, and the predictable, yet entertaining, turn of events in the end that still manage to rack up the rating for any weekender looking for a good laugh. When New York City’s position for hotshot cop status is temporarily displaced, ambitious Terry Hoitz (played by Mark Wahlberg) wants more than anything to prove that he can fulfill the duties of the greatest policeman to ever patrol the Big Apple. Unfortunately for him, he’s bound to a medicated law-enforcement accountant for a partner, who would rather skip his fingers across a keyboard than go outside. One must consider that this is a rather moronic, wire-rimmed specked character for Will Ferrell to play (but not unusual). Together, they make up the other guys, servants of the state that don’t even make the list. Together, they attempt to transcend their abysmal statuses by trying to solve some multi-billion dollar scandal. Together, they deliver solid punch lines, classic quotable and
creditable rants by Ferrell, and the occasional “What the heck?” moment when things didn’t happen as expected, leaving you in fits of chuckles. Director Adam McKay, a frequent collaborator of Ferrell, keeps returning to the “clueless man” character in most of the dynamic duo’s joint efforts. But take just a quick peek at the opening scene, and there’s something new that isn’t usually present: cool action. Car chases, fireball explosions, shattering glass, and firing bullets: the works. The buddy-cop comedy works perfectly.
“ I thought it was absolutely histerical. I would definitely see it again!” - Michaela Desrosier, 12
Student Advertisements For the low price of $5.00 you can have a 3x2 inch advertisement in the newspaper. Give someone a shout out, congratulate a team on winning a game, ask someone to prom, or say anything at all. It must be school appropriate! A folder with student ad forms is located on the door of Room 911. It is essential for the Laureate staff to receive the ad form at least one week prior to distribution. Here are some examples:
Adam Dowell: Love the mullett...could you hook me up with some tanning oil? - Vince Gonzalez
Valentine: We thought this would be a good way to communicate with you about your future missions. Your job as a young spy is to enjoy your senior year in every way beginning with the next several weekends of espionage, and remember you always have a “safe house” with us. - Love, Boris and Natasha
Price and Sage: The weekly dinners at Grammy’s house don’t come often enough. Love you guys! - Cory
Sarah and Michaela: Juh vooz em. Ay jem luh class duh Froncay uhveck vooz. Vooz et soopare. Ah biyentoh! -Skye Rubel
Audrey Skaggs, I love you! Akanne Philpot, don’t study too hard! You may break your brain. Love you! Julia Miller, one word: movie :) - Colleen Purdy
Hey Ryan Devetski! Your v-neck looks great. - Will Morris
Alex Lilly: Happy birthday! Congrats on 17! -Samantha
Tyler Foxy Molinaro: Will you marry me? - Laura
Hey GG! Oh and Tyler, don’t marry Laura. Marry me. I still have your car... :) - Julia
Cory and Skye: You two have been the most amazing editors a staff could ask for. You’ve put in so much hard work and really gone above and beyond. We really appreciate it. -Annabel and Natalie
Hey, Lindsay!!!
A.J.Tomahawk nation is taking over. -Jack
Mr. Henry: We really appreciate everything you do for us. Thanks for being an AWESOME teacher! -The Laureate Staff
I love you, Katie! - Tyler
Mary Ann, Happy 12th birthday! I hope you liked your ice pack! - Lindsay
- Mary Ann
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John Landers > Chuck Norris tyler molinaro comedy editor
Sharks have a week devoted to John Landers.
Chuck Norris got plastic surgery so he could look like John Landers.
John Lander’s mother has a tattoo that reads “son.”
John Landers broke the dress code. And Ms. Linner LET him.
The commercial series “The Most Interesting Man in the World” is based on John Landers.
John Landers has been taking water bottles on the bus for 8 years. The school district finally found out and made it legal.
John Landers once dressed up as himself for Halloween. He was not at all surprised to find that every other child in the neighborhood also dressed up as John Landers.
John Landers has actually failed to get a 100 on two tests. He is unaware of this as the teachers were too scared to put the 99s on his paper. John Landers once declared the school district would have a snow day at the end of the week. The superintendent immediately consented. The weather decided to obey too. It was August.
Some senior tried to bully John Landers when he was a freshman. The senior ended up with his legs zip-tied together mouth gagged, stuffed in a trashcan and hanging upside down from the flagpole in front of the school. The second who tried wasn’t so lucky.
The faceless Trojan head is only faceless because no artist would dare to try to cap ture John Landers’ face. John Landers doesn’t apply to colleges. Colleges apply to him.
New
John
Action Landers Figure ou
fy i 5 ! 9 . w 9 no y1
l n O
er d r o He
speaks, he poses, he tells you the answer to any question you ask him! The genius of our generation can now be yours!
Orders may be submitted to room 911 along with payment, or call 911-911-9111 to place your order now. Must be 14 or older to order. Standard operating fees apply, batteries not included. Operators are standing by!
Did
You Know? Physicist Kim Ung-yong has a verified IQ of 210, the highest IQ in the world. The average is 100.
Cartoon Central
page
23
[The Laureate is welcoming guest submissions! If you feel that you can contribute articles, cartoons, or photos, please email us at lhspress@gmail.com or talk to a Laureate staff member.]
The
a despicably mustard-colored classroom, bereft of all but T & J, cold and alone but determined, resolved, TO FIND ALEX CHO. It would be a long and arduous journey, a quest that would rival even that of seeking the grail. T was prepared. Already he had laura brink, julia regeski, decided on a fatyler molinaro vorite color and memorized the Buried deep within a cave hid- airspeed velocden somewhere in the mountains of ity of a Europethe Middle East (Cobb), nestled among an AND an Afholy documents protected by genera- rican Swallow. tions, a scroll sits. It has awaited some “Ni,”he said. All of our Laureate Staff members to un- was ready. cover its thrilling secrets and present “Don’t them to you, our beloved readers. say that,” shudBut these are no ordinary tales, like dered J. Today those of Aladdin or Black Beard. These had not been are the accounts of two ordinary Las- her best day. She was bothered over siter students, making the tales twice the peculiar orange scent that had as exciting, and half as legitimate. plagued her for over a year. On top of This particular tale begins in that… her cookie was nowhere to be
Sololiquist Saga Part 1
Statuses from last night
found. She was currently typing up a eulogy for it. “Come on, let’s go.” Exclaimed T with desperation. “I can’t!” exclaimed J. My cookie... “GO NOW!” a voice boomed from overhead. The thick Russian accent identified it as Skye, the leader of the Rubelion. J’s head swiveled from side to side, a desperate attempt to locate the source of this ominous voice. “Chill out, J,” soothed T. “It was just the intercom.” J merely sipped her apple juice in reply. Once J had inhaled enough of her
“T was prepared. Already he had decided on a favorite color and memorized the airspeed velocity of a European AND an African Swallow. ‘Ni,’ he said. All was ready.”
beverage to calm her sensitive nervous system she placed the juice box on the table, pulled her hair behind her ears, and lifted her big brown eyes towards T. It. Was. Time. “Alex Cho,” T began reading from the file the two had compiled after months of grueling research, walking to the parking lot as he did so. “5’7, 145 pounds, scrumptiously Asian, expert at being invisible.” J nodded, signifying her readiness for the apprehending of this elusive man. The two tenacious teens revved the engine of their Aston Martin (Jk jk T’s mom picked them up in her Sienna) and drove like maniacs to the underground, unidentifiable, and oddly smelling location where a mysterious nark named Deep Nose was waiting... Meanwhile, Skye leaned back in her chair, swiveled around and around, and chuckled. All was going according to plan. To be continued...
I’m going to need a lot of Pokemon to get through this year...
I wish that people who snore would be considerate enough not to sleep in quiet areas on campus.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems.
Everyone! Try jumping without bending your knees!
Today I was tanning outside and eating my sandwich and a mosquito bit me in the arm. I flexed my biceps and killed it.
So I’ve been Facebooking in the tub for about and hour and a half...lol and im not bout to get out either lol
Dunno what I woulda done without the $7.26 my mother mailed me today...
Just realized I’ve been spelling surprise/suprise wrong for 17 years...
1. University of California- Berkeley 2. University of California- LA 2. University of Virginia 4. University of Michigan 5. University of North Carolina 7. Georgia Institute of Technology 18. University of Georgia
*According to U.S. News and World Report, August 2010
GA Tech- 9/10
Early Action- October 15 *Notified December 15 Regular Application- January 15 *Notified April 1
U Georgia- 9/17
Georgia Institute of Technology (GT)
Mercer U- 9/17 Valdosta- 9/30 Columbus- 9/30
Private colleges
N GA College- 10/1
1. Centre College (Kentucky) 2. College of Wooster (Ohio) 3. Elon University (NC) 4. High Point University (NC) 5. Marist College (NY)
Savannah- 10/4
Early Action- November 1 *Notified December 15 Regular Application- January 15 *Notified March 15
*According to Parade’s College A-List
Georgia College and State University (GCSU) Early Action- November 1 *Notified December 1 Regular Application- April 1 *Rolling Notification
U of West GA- 10/5 Berry College-10/5 Emory U- 10/11 G Southwestern- 10/26 GA Southern- 10/27 Reinhardt- 11/2
seni o r
54 144
school days until winter break
v i sits
Best col
University of Georgia (UGA)
Public colleges
deadlines
Seniors
applicati on
leges
colleg e
Georgia State University (GSU) Early Action- November 1 *Notified January 15 Regular Application- March 1 *Notified April 1
Kennesaw State University (KSU) Early Action- not applicable Regular Application- May 14 *Rolling Notification
school days until graduation
c ountdown
words of wisdom junior
Cat Agati
...On Taking Chances
senior
Nate Clark
...On Stepping Out of Your Shell
College. The seven letter word we hear over five million times when we get into high school. College is what gets you ready for the real world. It teaches you how to be independent and responsible. So why fret what is supposed to be the best four years of your life? The following are the most common excuses:
Most of your classmates are your “friends” on Facebook, and you share the most intimate details of your life with them not knowing who they truly are. You have taken classes with them and even done a group project or two, but you’ve never taken the initiative to get to know them as an individual. You might say “he’s too shy” or “she’s weird” and go about your day 1. People who are afraid of college 2. Too far without saying a word. It’s sometimes difficult 3. Don’t know the area to break out of our cliques and lower our guard. 4. Parent won’t be there to hold your hand Here are a few things I’ve learned during my 5. You won’t know anyone years at Lassiter: 6. You don’t know what will happen
Why be afraid of something so great? Not knowing what is around the corner makes life the adventure. People who are afraid of a far college based on the sole fact that distance is scary may be missing out on something great. Don’t let financial conflicts stop you from applying to top-notch colleges if you are qualified. Not knowing anyone is a part of college so don’t be afraid. For example my sister went to the University of South Carolina on a scholarship that gave her reduced tuition instead of going to UGA on HOPE. She was afraid of what she had gotten herself into because she was unfamiliar with the area and the people. She met a ton of great people in her ‘situation’ and created the first ever lit club called Ink.
1. Relax and be confident in yourself 2. Make the first move- don’t be shy 3. Be nice and smile 4. Be a great listener 5. Don’t judge others 6. Be yourself- no one likes a poser 7. Include others in your social life The friendships and memories we make in high school will influence us for the rest of our lives. I challenge you to look around, go outside your comfort zone, and meet as many classmates as you can. You may be surprised to find that the person sitting next to you in class may become your best friend! It might be a cliche, but the best way to make a friend is to be one. There are tons of people in high school who are insecure and unhappy. And for what reason? It’s because we are exclusive. Open up!
Don’t let fear hold you back. Understand that there are millions of people in the same boat. Take a risk and you may build memories – and a legacy – at a college not too close Most importantly, though, always remember that nobody will like and trust you if you do not first like and trust yourself! to home.