Life is Shit Festival Zine, Vol. 4

Page 1


Names of Contributors Words: Jack Evan Johnson [0-1] Girls Rock Vegas [16-17] Brian Garth [20, 37] James Norman [22, 23] Roo Abdel-Al [24] Alexis Havana [27] Liz Charon [32-33] Jehu [41] Becky Tucker [42, 45] Images: Miles Caporicci [ii] James H. Smith [1] Alexis Lee [18] tremulant [19] Mikayla Whitmore [20, 26] Ang Kerfoot [21] Jason Nicolosi [22-23] Mary Sabo [24] Dillon Shines [25] Karin Miller [27] TG Miller [28-29] Mariposa [30] Erica Martinez [31] superdaimos [33] Jack Evan Johnson - Founder Ryan Mills [34] Executive Director Roy Thomas [35] Tsvetelina Stefanova - Director K.A. Oakley [36] Sponsorship Manager Tsvetelina Stefanova [37] Angie Randazzo - Dive Bar Owner April Teixeira [38] Head Of Security Pierson Brown [39] Nate Bruce - Dive Bar Owner Jeffrey Bennington Grindley [40] Chairman Of The Beard David Davis [41] James Howard Adams - Artistic Dictator Christopher Sanchez [43] Poster Art Zach Williams [44]

Brock Frabbiele Zine Art & Layout


SHITTY SCHEDULE 16:20 16:45 17:00 17:45 18:30 19:15 20:00 20:45 21:30 22:15 23:15 00:00 00:45 01:30

JACK EVAN JOHNSON HOSTED BY iFartRADIO OUTHOUSE STAGE James Norman

WAX PIG MELTING LUXURY FURNITURE STORE WORLD TENSION BROKEN CUFFS PEACHOLE JUSTIN AND THE COSMICS LAWN MOWER DEATH RIDERS THE VIBRATORS BLACK CAMARO DANGERBONER SPRING BREEDING LAABRADOOR



1


ON S N H O J N JACK EVA


LIFE IS SHIT ARTISTS

JOH VAN E K JAC

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IS S TH A : W E OT AM WE G ND N A L B L TY D A SHIT 1 AN 5 R U A UT O R, B MUSIC: ARE . A D D E A M R BE OUR PRO TOR K’S FOR ECAUSE WE S Y: ANAL H C T B IT SHIT ON P EARTH ING E B T E GO O HE O R T ‘ N E D T AY DE P, W RRI WE M NS INVA ESHI FOR A BU C A P E S AS ALI O LOUD. A S A K TO VEG H O T D C S BA WA AN UR B E AND GO T. O IFE T L L HA ND L T SHI T A HVI D S W E N A A NO EN RU E N NT LEAV RE T OVERNM A E WA W S TO G T ER AND MOR MEN S A NEV WHE T RU ALLY I GOVERN NSPIRACYRS E N O RE A KS TER T CO RUM E IN STIVAL PE IT’S VERNMENTED THE LAG. THAN H T GO AR FE HO IF E F HIT CY, WE T’S NOT ARS. WE STL A FALS S S O I A I L RUM PIR TO: T’S A CONS IRACY INTERNETUMORS. I P R CONRSE AREN’TNTERNET ERS. K THE T THE I EY, SUC U N O O B M A THE FOR

3


NG I T L E M WAX PIG

FURNITURE

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STORE.

LUXURY AND NAME: B Y T T I H S OUR WAS THIS LL WE GOT A D N A 1 5 D AREA WE STORME E. SHITTY: PROB RADAR, BUT ’S K R O F H C T I IC: BE ON P SE OUR MUS U A C E B H WE MAY NOT T R A ADED THE EHAPPEN. ALIENS INV S CE OR IV D MAKE IS USED TO E GOING CESHIP, WE‘R PA S A S A H UR BAND SHIT. NOW THAT O ONEY AND M T GE D N A CHES, TO FUCK BIT FE RUE AND LI T E R A S R O MENT ERNET RUM S A GOVERN I IF THE INT Y L L A E R TIVAL NMENT IS SHIT FES T’S A GOVER I E P O H E W , CHAIRS. CONSPIRACY RN WICKER BU : O T Y C CONSPIRA


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P TH RD AX_ WAS UT E: W ABO DO HA INLY OT M G D O A A ’T E O N W ERT L G DON LL AND FEE S. WE MOST C B A S U ND EGA OULD ES TTY 1 A N V W MAK SHI A 5 LY HERE I THIS DED D E A R , OUR S M A E NVA E T K . I A H O D S T H C E E S T P O S O N D A RM ER KE LIE RD AS TTO STOSPACE HPACE COSED OFF ERE TO A E A T D W E W IN) PAS , BU WE Y) S TAN HER (LAV AN/COD E GET UT IF DAR D TO D ST COME A B W I R , R O T E E N I S (B TUN MOR LSH N’T RK’ BUL S ANY E. HFO SIC: ISEASE DO”. C G S U T A O R L I C D MU E “P HNX G T N P THE OIN BE E O E OURN PHRASCOKE. KT G B NOT CAUS RICA PACE E‘RE P, W MAY TH BE ON AME GOOD S I H E W ES HIT EAR COMM S THE PAC IS S E HOPE IC A S . THENAL THE GIVE U E S A T US LIF SIG H AND Y, W L M D H SHI T AND PIRAC Y LOCA SUCH BAN AND EAR E R U N S U A NG IT TR CON S M PPI T O INN ARE MENT THER ANTO STO T H A E WEED S W R A N I G C O R NO SPA RUM GOVE CY TO:RA THEM KE ET A T SMO A N L R S U R . I E MK SPI SIC INT EALLY CONSPOT TO IVE MU HE T R T L N E E G IF AL RNM IN ON AYIN L TIV E FES A GOV SICIANS LIKE P S U N S M ’ O IT AND ACTI S FAN RABLE E MIS

LUXURY FURN ITURE STORE


WORLD TENSION

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E: BR UMENT TY: DOC ND NAM S SHIT TTY BA I I S WITH H H T S S R NERAL OU GOT WA AND GE S E L W A I C L FI DENCE AL ENT OF RD EVI 51 AND A OVERNM AND HA E G , R S P O O A F T U Y, TH RMED RET WI HNOLOG WE STO IN SEC EN TEC G ED ALI MEETIN ADVANC LONGE ABOUT TOM DE N O I T A NFORM FIED I CLASSI EXIST. LIENS THAT A SELLS

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THR NG TO ‘RE GOI E W , P I ESH A SPAC T. ND HAS ND SHI A B R U O ARS A M T N REALLY A O H ER NOW T STIVAL TY ROV E I F S O I T R I CU ACY S SH OR THE ONSPIR LIFE I SHOW F MENT C E AND N U R R E T V E O A G S AR RUMOR PE IT’S , WE HO TERNET Y N C I A L. R E L I A H M ONSP IF T KE THE MENT C N AND NU R S E A G V E O V IS A G NKS IN

TO:

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W E GOT D TH L WE L A VADE N H D I S N S A OUR LIEN A 51 F RIFF. ARE UT A B OF D P , I E R R A TORM A B-SIDE RAD WE S RK’S O OMEG . F F A H F H P G TO ITC ES O - AL GOIN ON P USIC: GO E E ‘R B . WE OT R M SHIT HIP, AY N E OU VAL ACES IES AND P WE M BECAUS ESTI S F A X T A H I H AS GAL EART IS S A ND H ROSS IFE ON. L ’S R BA NSION AC T U D I O RATI E AN PE AT O E NIST H HE T I H U T T M R D E G W T A E T NOW PREADIN ACY, RREN S AR —S MOR CONSPIR OF THE CU U TOUR R ID ENT RNET ET R INTE GOVERNM Y TO: G E H IRAC IF T Y IS A ONSP LL REA NMENT C R P. GOVE TRUM BAND ITTY

ACH IMPE

BROKEN CUFFS


PEACHOLE

OUR SHITTY BAND NAME:

AREA 51.

WAS THIS WE STORMED AREA 51 AND ALL WE GOT SHITTY: BAND. BUT WE MAY NOT BE ON PITCHFORK’S RADAR, OUR MUSIC: ALIENS INVADED THE EARTH BECAUSE SOUNDS LIKE A NICE TOILET.

WE‘RE GOING NOW THAT OUR BAND HAS A SPACESHIP, TO WEAR DIAPERS AND SHIT. AND LIFE IF THE INTERNET RUMORS ARE TRUE MENT IS SHIT FESTIVAL REALLY IS A GOVERN T MEN CONSPIRACY, WE HOPE IT’S A GOVERN CONSPIRACY TO: PLUNGE AMERICA. 8


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Y: HITT S S I H AS T OT W SH G R E U W O ED ALL T. NVAD AND I RIGH 1 S 5 N LIE ASS AREA BUT A SSIBLE FOR MED , R R O A T E D C RA WE S . T AC ORK’S IS THE MOS F ERS H P C P O T : P I USIC ON P UR M T BE G TO O O N E S GOIN (ALSO FUCK AY AU E C M E ‘R E B E W W ES H EART SHIP, NEXT BEATL E C A P THE ING. S THE AS A OME SHAK N D H UK TO BEC A B IT THE OUR IS SH THAT IVALENT OF . E F W I O L N EQU SHIT AND CY, UNE’S AND RUE PIRA NGE THE T NEPT ) S S E E N L R O T C A A E B : CHA NT RS THE RUMO OVERNME IRACY TO T E A G ERN NSP E INT EALLY IS NMENT COY MIA. H T F B I R R GOVE PLANES IVAL FEST PE IT’S A TO PAPER M O WE H NAL ANTHE AME: ND N A B ITTY

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RIDERS H T A E D R E W O M LAWN

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RATO THE VIB

RS.

THIS GOT WAS E W L L ND A REA 51 A A D E M R H. WE STO YCE EAC OLLS RO LIENS R : Y T T R, BUT A SHI A D A R ’S ING TCHFORK R MUSIC: WAS MAK I P N O E NOT B USE OU WE MAY TH BECA R A E E H T INVADED NG TO AZY. R C E‘RE GOI W , THEM GO P I H S SPACE D HAS A N A B R U T O SHIT. NOW THA T AND E SHIT L I O T HE LIFE IS D N SIT ON T A E E TRU Y, WE NSPIRAC MORS AR O U C R T T N E E N M ALL NTER GOVERN : MAKE US A O T S IF THE I I Y C Y L A ONSPIR L REAL FESTIVA NMENT C R E V O G ’S A HOPE IT PY.

OUR

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WAS HIT E: S OT G M A WE D N ENS ALL BAN D Y ALI G (FROM N T A T T I U 1 . B 5 BIN SH EN) AR, AL PRO D REA AN ALI OUR A A N A ’S R RO MED ROM ORK WE’RE P TOR E (NOT F F TO S H C E: WE IT ING S ROB P O P U G A N L O ‘RE BEC ANA BE , WE OT EARTH P N I H CES MAY THE HIT SPA WE ED IS S E A D E A S F A LI INV S). Y, W D H EN AND PIRAC OBE BAN T. E ALI U S R PR R N U E T NT CO : ANAL T O ND SHI R A H A O E T A T ORS RNM CY NOW PROBE RUM GOVE SPIRA L T A E AN CON IS A ERN INT EALLY NMENT E H R R T IF AL OVE TIV ’S A G S E F T E I HOP ICA. AME

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THE VIBRA TORS


O R A M A C K C A L B

S. CHILI PEPPER

INCH ND NAME: NINE BA Y T IT SH R OU WAS THIS ALL WE GOT D N A 51 EMENTS EA R A PER-HEAVY EL WE STORMED THAT USES SU EM ST STE. SY WA ON SI HEAT LOSS OR SHITTY: PROPUL S AND HAS NO ITATIONA CREATE GRAV

TO

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T ALIENS ’S RADAR, BU K R O F CH IT P PT WAKING BE ON UR MUSIC: KE O WE MAY NOT SE U CA BE EARTH INVADED THE THEM UP.

G TO IP, WE‘RE GOIN SH CE A SP A S R BAND HA IT. NOW THAT OU IT AND SH STICKERS ON PUT BUMPER LIFE IS SHIT RE TRUE AND A S R O M U R ACY, WE NET MENT CONSPIR N IF THE INTER ER OV G A LLY IS TO: FESTIVAL REA T CONSPIRACY EN M N ER OV G HOPE IT’S A YING THAT. NOBODY IS SA

12


MARO. ACK CA

E: BL D NAM THIS N A B Y TT OT WAS ST’S DESK. I G H S E W R OU NI ALL CEPTIO 51 AND THE RE A M E O R R A F RMED RIPPED LIENS W E S T O ELL COMPUTER , BUT A GHOST OF R D A : D Y A T SHIT RK’S R IS THE ITCHFO OUR MUSIC: ER ETERNAL... P N O BE AUSE K ETH Y NOT TH BEC ROUGH THE BLAC R A WE MA E E D TH NG TH INVADE RONAUT FLOATI TO T AS GOING E ‘R E A DEAD IO WAVE. HIP, W AD AS A R SPACES A S A BAND H T OUR A SHIT H T FE IS IT. NOW I H L S D D N N T A UE A Y, WE SELL I ARE TR T CONSPIRAC S R O M RETLY ET RU RNMEN T O : SEC INTERN Y IS A GOVE Y C E A H R T I P GEST IF REALL T CONS HE WORLD’S BIGGEST L N E A V M I N T G FES OVER THE T AGES, D’S BI T’S A G CED DIRT FROMELOW THE WORL IVE BAR BEVERMENT D A HOPE I N B L ALL OVER DISP IGHT D INTO , THE G E THE H IS R , WHIC REMOV S MIXE HIS PROCESS ... AND THE E I N T I R M I D T ND HT DIAMO S STORE. THE NK. THROUGH NE NIG T IN O R RI R E I D H D C R E F E K O P S S ASPOON 00 TON EAPONS. ONE TE TO MOVE 20,0 W R O F D E E IS ABL S ARE TRAD ND DIAMO

DANGERBO

NER


ING D E E R B SPRING

OUR SHITTY BAND NAME:

LAABRAWHOORES.

GOT WAS THIS WE STORMED AREA 51 AND ALL WE SHITTY: DELAY PEDAL. RADAR, BUT ALIENS WE MAY NOT BE ON PITCHFORK’S MUSIC: HAS SECRET INVADED THE EARTH BECAUSE OURPURPOSED TO SIGNAL D WAVES, MESSAGES EMBEDDED IN THE SOUN IES. LESBIAN EXTRA TERRESTRIAL SPEC

HIP, WE‘RE GOING NOW THAT OUR BAND HAS A SPACES D NOISE AND SHIT. TO TWIST KNOBS AND MAKE ETHEREAL CLOU E AND LIFE IF THE INTERNET RUMORS ARE TRU ERNMENT IS SHIT FESTIVAL REALLY IS A GOV MENT CONSPIRACY ERN GOV A IT’S E CONSPIRACY, WE HOP Y. TO: THROW AN 80’S INDUSTRIAL DANCE PART

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INFORMATION.





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