SHITTY SCHEDULE
Shitkicker Kickoff - Friday, September 27th, 2024
8:00 PM Zach Wilson (Nashville)
9:00 PM Dedd Horsemen (Tucson)
10:00 PM Dry Heat
11:00 PM CarlOke Country Karaoke
Life is Shit Festival - Saturday, September 28th, 2024
INDOOR STAGE
4:20 PM Las Nalgonas
5:00 PM Switterbeet
5:45 PM Kings/Kings
6:30 PM Ol’ Jimmy Vagabond & the Peanut Gallery
7:15 PM Jack Shit (Nashville)
8:00 PM Style Cramps
8:45 PM Same Sex Mary
9:30 PM Pussy Velour (Reno)
10:15 PM Total Ghost (CyBerlin)
11:00 PM FACEMAN (Denver)
11:45 PM The Mormon Church
12:30 AM Trash Animals
1:15 AM MSMRS
2:00 AM Detective Frog
OUTHOUSE POETRY STAGE
Hosted by Andrew Romanelli
4:45 PM The Jewel Tones
5:30 PM Bruce Isaacson
6:15 PM April Ursala Fox
7:00 PM Charlene Stegman Moskal
7:45 PM Stephi Blue
8:30 PM Emily Ajir
9:15 PM Jennifer Battisti
10:00 PM Andrew Romanelli
10:45 PM Liz Galvez
11:30 PM Brooke Arita-Zamora
12:15 PM Garrett James Dillon
1:00 AM Harry Fagel
Shitty Band Name: Zach Wilson The Full Shitters
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, you stick your nose up at it.
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? Jack because he can put up with my shit. The softest? Me because I write love songs. Our shitty hot take: On what? What happened before “The Beginning?” There wasn’t shit. And what happens after “The End?” Shit happens.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? A metric shit ton.
Shitty Band Name: Dedd Horsemen
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, set it aflame.
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? The Drummer. He shits bigger than anyone. The softest? Hank, he’s soft in the head, thinks it’s a good idea to write songs.
Our shitty hot take: If someone doesn’t do it, who will?
What happened before “The Beginning?” There was freedom, so, nothing happened. And what happens after “The End?” We’ll be sad, because, no more pizza.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? Were Johnny only to learn math, he’d figure this out on his own.
honor to finally be asked to play Life is Shit. We’ve been wanting to break into the Dive bar scene.
What happened before “The Beginning?” And what happens after “The End?” We’ve all come from very different bands, looking for something new to inspire us. After this show, we will probably embark on a 2-show farewell tour.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? The answer is 438.
Shitty Band Name: Las Nalgonas aka Las Mierdas
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, throw it at the crowd !!!
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? The softest? We are all hard as rocks!!! You won’t forget us for a while.
Our shitty hot take: Do what you love even if it scares the ever living poop out of you.
What happened before “The Beginning?” Stomach cramps. And what happens after “The End?” A nice, soft belly.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? If our calculations are correct, Johnny needs more fiber.
Shitty Band Name: Shitterbeet
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, hold your breath & flush it down.
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? Tierney. Austin, Cindy, & Daniel are going to Weenie Hut Jr. Tierney’s getting into the Salty Spitoon. The softest? Daniel. Self-explanatory.
Our shitty hot take: diarrhea > constipation.
What happened before “The Beginning?”
There was depression. And what happens after “The End?” A farm commune with sheep & catatonic Pygmy goats.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? We don’t know math, but I have some Tums & Imodium in my bag if Johnny needs some help.
Our Shitty Band Name: Kings/Kings
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, ranch it up!
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? Moncada. He’s the fuckin monster, the four string machine. The softest? Fez. The freakin softie just got married earlier this month.
Our shitty hot take: Live laugh love IS art.
What happened before “The Beginning?” There’s probably a hidden track if you purchase the limited edition CD. And what happens after “The End?” Her Majesty.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? Yes
Shitty Band Name: Ol’ Jimmy Vagabond and the Peanut Gallery
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, that’s what you get for eating ass...
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? The softest? We are all so soft. Baby shit soft.
Our shitty hot take: Only Juggalos should be allowed to wear JNCOs. Let them have it, Gen-Z. Whoop Whoop! What happened before “The Beginning?” A bunch of shit stunk up the universe. And what happens after “The End?” A bunch of shit will still be stinking up the universe. But remember, no one else likes the smell of your own personal log, so don’t treat it like it’s so precious.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? Johnny is trapped in the human centipede called society, so there is no use trying to measure how much shit he produces, because he’s going to have to eat it all again, one day, ad infinitum. That’s the shithead’s guide to Karma right there. Eat shit, die, only to be born again in the cosmological toilet bowl like the skid marks of some vengeful god with a tummy ache from too many taco-truck tacos. But hey, if you can’t beat ‘em, don’t forget to flush when you’re done.
Shitty Band Name: Jack Shit
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, wipe it till it bleeds (while listening to the Turbonegro song, “Wipe It ‘Til It Bleeds”).
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? Zach, because he is a pirate. The softest? John, because he isn’t playing Life is Shit with us.
Our shitty hot take: Nobody cares about ours or anyone’s. They care about Netflix.
What happened before “The Beginning?” Netflix sent you DVDs. And what happens after “The End?” They put Netflix in the vaccine.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? Is it on Netflix?
Photo by: Tiffany Salerno
Shitty Band Name: Style Cramps
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, pack some Dude Wipes.
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? Nicc. There must be lots of fiber in liquid deaths. The softest? Matt. Probably longest too. He takes forever to take a shit.
Our shitty hot take: Cigarettes are actually good for you, that’s why the government doesn’t want us to have them.
What happened before “The Beginning?” And what happens after “The End?” Ancient Astronaut Theorists say yes.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? Sounds like Johnny and Matt have a lot in common.
Shitty Band Name: Same Sex Mary aka Dude Shitty and the Mad Craps
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, make chocolate milk.
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? Tsvet. She’s Balkan and it’s genetic. The softest? James, due to his poor diet. The rest of the gang is smooth and regular. Our shitty hot take: LFG stands for Looking for Group.
What happened before “The Beginning?” According to Norse Mythology, there was a void known as Ginnungagap, a space between the fiery realm of Muspelheim and the icy realm of Niflheim. And what happens after “The End?” Baldr and Hod return from the underworld - Baldr having been killed by Hod, and Hod by Vali. The earth is then reborn and repopulated with the surviving gods and two human survivors, Líf and Lífþrasir.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? Johnny poops 312.979 grams of poop in the first minute, then spends the next 22 minutes doom scrolling.
Shitty Band Name: Pussy Velour aka Poopy Velour
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, wipe up quick. Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? Milli. The softest? Dan.
Our shitty hot take: Born to shit forced to wipe.
What happened before “The Beginning?” Crowning. And what happens after “The End?” Flush and wash.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? ~500g.
Shitty Band Name: Total Ghost aka
Yard Dogs
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, “Whip Cream”, the twentieth studio album from Total Ghost, is all about pushing boundaries—it’s sensual, raw, and unlike anything Total Ghost has done before. This album takes the listener on an unforgettable journey of passion and energy. Preorder the album now to experience it for yourself!
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? The softest? Great question! The moment they recorded “Velvet Heat,” the entire album took on a life of its own. It was electric—everything just clicked, setting the tone for the rest of the project. Don’t miss out—grab your exclusive vinyl now!
Our shitty hot take: Hot take incoming! The Full Release tour is going to be an electrifying, immersive experience. Expect high-energy performances, stunning visuals, and surprises that will leave you buzzing. Buy your tickets now before they sell out!
What happened before “The Beginning?” All of the collaborations on the album happened naturally, with features from some of the biggest names in music. Each artist brought something special that took “Whip Cream” to the next level. And what happens after “The End?” “End” your day with some limited-edition collab merch on our site!
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? To Johnny and all our fans: Stay true to your passion and never stop evolving. Authenticity is everything, and it’s the key to long-term success in music. Get the new album and exclusive merch today!
Disclaimer: Some responses or images in this interview may have been crafted or enhanced by an AI publicist to assist with promotional content. All answers remain true to the spirit and voice of Total Ghost and their team.
Shitty Band Name: FACEMAN
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, the shit gives you life which makes you shit.
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? Dean because Dean is mean if you know what I mean. The softest? Dave because he laughs at everything and is nice.
Our shitty hot take: FACEMAN is a shitty band that plays shitty music to shitty people.
What happened before “The Beginning?”
We shit ourselves. And what happens after “The End?” Just more shit for the big bowl of shit.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? A shitload
Shitty Band Name: The Mormon Church
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit… You know, Ricky grew up as a little shit-spark from the old shit-flint. And then he turned into a shit-bonfire and then driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance, he turned into a raging shit-firestorm. If I get to be married to Barb I’ll have total control of Sunnyvale, and then I can unleash a shitnami tidal wave that’ll engulf Ricky and extinguish his shit-flames forever. And with any luck, he’ll drown in the undershit of that wave. Shit-waves.
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? The softest? They’re shit flowers Randy, from here they look like regular flowers but when you get down and poke your nose in them you realize they’re shit flowers, and there’s a whole fucking bouquet of them!
Our shitty hot take: You feel that? The way the shit just sticks to the air? There’s a shit-blizzard comin, I always know. What happened before “The Beginning?” And what happens after “The End?” You idiots have loaded up a hair-triggered doublebarreled shit machine gun, and the barrel’s pointed right at your own heads!
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? This old Shitfisher took his bagpipes down to the river and he played his pipes in hopes that the shitfish would rise up out of the water. But not one shitfish rose, Julian. So he took a shitnet and threw it in the river and, lo, soon he drew it forth filled with shitfish. Then he took his bagpipes and then he played them again and all the shitfish jumped up in the shitnet. ‘Oh, you dance now when I play,’ said the Shitfisher. And then the little old shitfish spoke up in the end and he said, ‘when you’re in a man’s power, you must do as he bids you.’ Shitnets, Julian, and Shitpower.
Shitty Band Name: AnimalsTrash aka The BlumpkinsSplashing
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, grow a garden in it, and admissioncharge because we live in a hellscapecapitalistwhere
we are pressured to commodify all the ways we transmute our pain and trauma into art and enjoyable hobbies that no longer become enjoyable after some time because they become intertwined with our desperate means of survival. Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? The softest? Germs is hard on the outside and soft on the inside, like a Three Musketeers, because though life is hard you gotta be soft. LIMN is greasy and slippery on the outside and nutty on the inside like a Snickers covered in manteca because it has many textures and layers and fun and protein. Mari is a pile of little green and brown rounded fibrous goat turds because she is all over the place.
Our shitty hot take: Bidets should be subsidized by the government.
What happened before “The Beginning?” The End. And what happens after “The End?” The Beginning. If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute?
Shitty Band Name: MSMRS aka Elevated Undergrounds
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, don’t fucking take it.
Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? The softest? We are all very hard turds unless someone has IBS.
Our shitty hot take: Being a contrarian doesn’t make you cool.
What happened before “The Beginning?” The land before time. And what happens after “The End?” It doesn’t matter.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? 19.7213913 grams.
Shitty Band Name: Detective Frog
Complete the sentence. When life gives you shit, shit harder. Who is the hardest turd in your band, and why? The softest? Ricky Business’ cold demeanor and even colder dead eyes earn him the “hardest turd” title. He re-watches the end of Old Yeller just to climax. Jacob, on the other hand, is an emotionally broken man, who cries at the drop of a hat. Not the best at parties (unless they’re his).
Our shitty hot take: Highlander 2 is better than the original.
What happened before “The Beginning?” And what happens after “The End?” My doctor’s office had recommended something like this to use after surgery. My first problem was that when I tried to release the used tissue, it often remained stuck and I had to smack the handle against the toilet or use my hands to dislodge the paper. My second problem was that often the plastic near the tissue would become soiled, requiring cleaning efforts.
If Johnny poops 0.69 lb every time he poops, and takes 23 minutes to poop, how much poop (in grams) is Johnny pooping every minute? Assuming Johnny’s poops were solid and viscous enough not to require measurements in fluid ounces, he would be producing 9.780584375 grams per minute. This is not a lot of poop for 23 minutes of consistent effort. Johnny should consider another source of fiber to add to his diet.
WHO ROCKS? GIRLS ROCK!
In the festival’s twelth year, Girls Rock Vegas is proud to partner with Life Is Shit! Girls Rock Vegas seeks to empower girls, non-binary, queer, and trans youth though music creation and performance.
Adolescents ages 9-17 come to our programs and learn to play electric guitar, bass, keyboards and drums, most picking up their instrument for the first time. Campers form their own bands, and over the course of a week, compose original songs that they play at a showcase concert at the end of camp. Bands also participate in workshops on positive body image, women in the media, Riot Grrrl, and DIY band promotion. Local artists and bands like Elevated Undergrounds and Hot Take play lunchtime concerts, mentor and serve as positive role models for girls who may have never met a local female musician. Survey data taken at Girls Rock Vegas’s programs show that the experience elevates self-esteem, develops positive body image, and increases academic and creative confidence.
DONATIONS like those we receive from Life Is Shit have allowed us to accept many girls to attend camp, who could not otherwise afford to attend.
•
For twenty dollars, you can help ensure a girl has an instrument cable or a pair of drumsticks.
•
For fifty dollars, you can help ensure she has a morning of instrument instruction from a professional musician.
For one hundred dollars, you can help ensure she has an electric guitar.
• Girls Rock Vegas is a Nevada non-profit corporation and a federal 501(c)(3) public charity. Donations made to Girls Rock Vegas are deductible under section 170 of the Internal Revenue Code. Visit us at www.girlsrockvegas.org for more information.
