Boat-Gating Etiquette 101

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Boat-Gating in the South

The Tennessee Vols. The Alabama Crimson Tide. Knoxville and Tuscaloosa don’t just tailgate on land...it spreads to the rivers.

It’s boat-gating.

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Boat Gating Etiquette 101 for Guests

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do DO wear boat shoes. Please, for goodness sake. Spike heels, no. Black soles, no. You need non-skid soles.

Think good traction.

DO bring your own drinks. It’s just polite. Ask the boat owner about bringing your own cooler. Space can be a problem.

DO ask the boat owner if you can help with fuel.

Even if they’re docked, it took fuel to bring the boat to the dock. Believe me, if you ask a boat owner that, you’ll get invited back.

DO bring a boat-warming gift. A bottle of wine.

A football flower arrangement. Anything football team-oriented like napkins, cups, pom poms. A nice gift for the host.

DO expect something to go wrong. Someone will be ‘out of sorts’. Something will get broken. Go with the flow and offer to make things better.

DO smell the cocktail someone offers you. If you smell smoke from your nosehairs, man-up and prepare for the burn in your throat as you swallow.

But you’ll need to drink it to be polite.

DO pace yourself. The guy or gal that doesn’t will get the ‘most LIKES’ on Facebook the next day.

don't DON’T forget to ask if you can bring something. A dish, as we say in the South, is preferred. A dip…that’s good, too. (check out our recipes in this issue) DON’T use the head without asking the owner the correct procedure. And nothing…I mean nothing goes in the head that hasn’t been consumed in the form of a drink. If you HAVE eaten it, kindly excuse yourself and go to land.

DON’T do anything involving body paint. Sunbrella, canvas, and other marine upholstery fabrics do not like it at all. You’ll get sweaty and the paint will start running.

Not pretty.

DON’T bring chocolate. It will not go with any drink onboard. It melts and it’s messy.

Just don’t.

DON’T even think about tossing the football to add to the ambiance of the party. It does not work on a boat. You will go in the water.

Or your wife will go in the water. Just don’t.

DON’T go skimpy on crackers, chips or nuts.

Bread is also good. Soaks up the alcohol.

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