Duck dynasty v1

COME TO THE TABLE Discover the power of life-giving relationships.

by Tim & Denise Harlow

Parkview Christian Church

Copyright © 2014 by Tim Harlow ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Published by Parkview Christian Church and Lifetogether Ministries

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, or

TABLE OF

CONTENTS

Welcome from Alan Robertson

04

Using This Workbook (Read This First)

05

Outline for Each Session

6-7

transmitted in any form or by any means -- electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise -- except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without

OUTLINE FOR EACH SESSION

the prior written permission of the publisher.

Copyright and use of the curriculum template is retained by Brett Eastman.

SESSION 1: FAITH

08

SESSION 2: FAMILY

28

SESSION 3: FRIENDS

48

SESSION 4: FOOD

68

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotes are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 and 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

APPENDICES Frequently Asked Questions

90

ISBN 978-1-940077-06-2

Small Group Agreement

92

Printed in the United States of America

Small Group Calendar

95

Spiritual Partners Memory Verse Cards (Clip and Review)

98

Hosting an Open House

99

Leading for the First Time

100-101

Leadership Training

102-103

Prayer and Praise Report

104-105

Small Group Roster Notes P | 2

100

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96 112

WELCOME FROM

USINGTHISWORKBOOK

ALANROBERTSON

Tools to Help You Have a Great Small Group Experience!

Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: 1) Sessions; 2) Appendices; and 3) Small Group Leaders. Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will be used in the sessions themselves.

Every Duck Dynasty show ends with my family gathered around our kitchen table. Just as we did long before we ever were on television, we join hands and pray, then eat and talk. Many of our viewers feel as if they’re sitting at the table with us. Many of them write to us and tell us that’s their favorite part of the show.

In this study, we’re inviting you to join us at the table. To listen to the wisdom my mom, Miss Kay, has for you. To talk about four key relationships in our lives, and how to maximize the power and impact of those relationships.

As the oldest of the Robertson boys, I remember countless meals at our kitchen table. Mom would feed us, and sometimes, whichever friend we’d dragged home with us. We had some tough times, and some great times. But the one thing I could count on was that my mom loved God, and loved me. Her faith, family, and friends got her through.

Mom is my hero and always has been, because I saw what she sacrificed. I saw how she stuck with my dad, even when he was not what he needed to be.

My mom’s strength came first from her faith, but also from family and friends. As the oldest, she and I formed a bond.

Even when our family went through rough times, she stayed strong, and never disrespected my dad. She trusted God to get her through, and that made me admire and love her a lot.

If you are facilitating, leading, or co-leading a small group, the section Small Group Leaders will give you some hard-learned experiences of others that will encourage you and help you avoid many common obstacles to effective small group leadership.

Use this workbook as a guide, not a straightjacket. If the group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the Small Group Leaders section.

Enjoy your small group experience.

Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages so that you understand how the sessions flow.

I’m overjoyed that she is able to share her wisdom with you through this study. Gather at your own kitchen table with a few friends, put out some food, and feast on the good things you’ll find here: insights, wisdom, encouragement and connection with God and each other.

Alan Robertson P | 4

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OUTLINE OF

EACHSESSION

HEAR GOD’S STORY. (cont)

Life change happens in small groups. In the setting of community, we can obey

STUDY NOTES. This is a brief section with additional commentary, background or

Jesus’ command to love one another. In this study, you’ll not only read and discuss Biblical texts, you’ll also think and talk about how to apply what you’ve learned to your everyday life. The goal is not that you’ll accumulate knowledge, but that your life will be transformed, and your character will reflect that of Jesus Christ.

A TYPICAL GROUP SESSION FOR THIS STUDY WILL INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING SECTIONS: WEEKLY MEMORY VERSES. Each session opens with a Memory Verse that emphasizes an important truth from the session. This is an optional exercise, but we believe that memorizing Scripture can be a vital part of filling our minds with God’s will for our lives. We encourage you to give this important habit a try. The verses for our four sessions are also listed in the Appendix.

INTRODUCTION. Each lesson will open with a brief thought that will help you prepare for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject you will explore with your group. Make it a practice to read these before the session.

SHARE YOUR STORY. The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection with God and His family. That connection is built by sharing your story with a few people who really know you and who earn your trust. This section includes some simple questions to get you talking—letting you share as much or as little of your story as you want. Each session typically offers you two options. You can get to know your whole group by using the icebreaker question(s), or you can check in with one or two group members—your spiritual partner(s)—for a deeper connection and encouragement in your spiritual journey.

we should live in light of the Word of God. We want to help you apply the insights from Scripture practically, creatively, and from your heart as well as your head. At the end of the day, allowing the timeless truths from God’s Word to transform our lives in Christ is our greatest aim.

insights on the passage you’ll study in the Hear God’s Story section.

CREATE A NEW STORY. God wants you to be a part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change—to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight—but it should happen steadily. By small, simple choices, we begin to change our direction. This is where the Bible’s instructions to “be doers of the Word, not just hearers” (James 1:22) comes into play. Many people skip over this aspect of the Christian life because it’s scary, relationally awkward, or simply too much work for their busy schedules. But Jesus wanted all of His disciples to help outsiders connect with Him, to know Him personally, and to carry out His commands.

This doesn’t necessarily mean preaching on street corners. It could mean welcoming a few newcomers into your group, hosting a short-term group in your home, or walking through this study with a friend. In this study, you’ll have an opportunity to go beyond Bible study to biblical living. This section will also have a question or two that will challenge you to live out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, and worshiping God. FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY. If you have time and want to dig deeper into

more Bible passages about the topic at hand, we’ve provided additional passages and questions. Your group may choose to do study homework ahead of each meeting in order to cover more biblical material. If you prefer not to do study homework, this section will provide you with plenty to discuss within the group. These options allow individuals or the whole group to expand their study, while still accommodating those who can’t do homework or are new to your group.

DAILY DEVOTIONS. Each week on the Daily Devotions pages we provide

in order to hear God’s story—and begin to see how His story aligns with yours. When the study directs you to, you’ll pop in the DVD and watch a short teaching segment.

You’ll then have an opportunity to read a passage of Scripture, and discuss both the teaching and the text. The focus won’t be on accumulating information but on how

scriptures to read and reflect on between group meetings—a month’s worth of reflections that will open your heart. This is a chance to slow down, to read just a small portion of Scripture each day, and reflect and pray through it. Each day, you’ll not only read a verse, but you’ll also read a paragraph written as if it were a personal note to you from Jesus. You’ll then have a chance to journal your response to what you’ve read.

Use this section to seek God on your own throughout the week. This time at home should begin and end with prayer. Don’t get in a hurry; take enough time to hear God’s direction.

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HEAR GOD’S STORY. In this section, you’ll read the Bible and listen to teaching,

SESSION ONE

SHARE YOUR STORY

FAITH

DiscoverthepowerofyourrelationshipwithGod.

struggle and every joy to ultimately bring you to Himself. When we tell our stories, sharing

MEMORY VERSE: For it is by grace you have been saved, through

them with others, we give others the opportunity to see God at work.

When we share our stories, we realize we are not alone.

Each of us has a story. The events of our life—good, bad, challenging, or wonderful—have shaped who we are. God knows your story, and He intends to redeem it—to use every

faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

When we share our stories, we realize we are not alone—that we have common experiences and thoughts, and that others can understand what we are going through.

Your story can encourage someone else, and telling it can be a path to freedom for you, and for those you share it with.

Our relationship with God is foundational to all other relationships, and is the source of all love in our life. When we are connected with God, we are filled with His love and power. He equips us to serve and love others. Disappointments and trials may come, but God is always with us, helping and loving us.

Many times, our faith gets stronger when it’s tested; when it is not just a part of our lives, but when it becomes all we’ve got. It is when we have to lean on God’s grace and put our faith in Him that our faith grows stronger.

Anyone who has ever watched Duck Dynasty knows that faith is essential to the Robertson family. That faith was strengthened in the early years, when they went through very difficult times. Today, we’re going to talk about faith, and how it can sustain us, in both good times and tough times.

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Open your group with prayer.

As you begin at this first meeting, take time to pass around a copy of the Small Group Roster on page 100, a sheet of paper, or one of you pass your Study Guide, opened to the Small Group Roster. Have everyone write down their contact information. Ask someone to make copies or type up a list with everyone’s information and email it to the group this week.

BEGIN YOUR TIME TOGETHER

by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

What are you hoping to learn from this study? What brought you here?

Who is someone whose faith you admire? How do they live out their faith?

What have been some of the most challenging times in your faith journey?

This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to give you insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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Whether your group is new or ongoing, it’s always important to review and reflect on your group values together. On pages ???-??? is a Small Group Agreement with the values we’ve found most useful in sustaining healthy, balanced groups. We recommend that you choose one or two values to emphasize during this study. Choose ones that you haven’t yet focused on or have room for improvement—ones that will take your group to the next stage of intimacy and spiritual health.

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KEY INSTRUCTIONS

If your group is new, welcome newcomers.

Introduce everyone—you may even want to have name tags for your first meeting.

We recommend that you rotate host homes on a regular basis and let the hosts lead the meeting. We’ve come to realize that healthy groups rotate leadership. This helps to develop every member’s ability to shepherd a few people in a safe environment. Even Jesus gave others the opportunity to serve alongside him (Mark 6:30–44). Look at the

WATCHTHEDVD Use the Notes space provided to record any key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on.

After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions direct the discussion among the group.

As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

FAQs in the Appendices for additional information about hosting or leading the group.

The Small Group Calendar on page ??? is a tool for planning who will host and lead each meeting. Take a few minutes to plan hosts and leaders for your remaining meetings. Don’t pass this up! It will revolutionize your group.

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SESSIONNOTES

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HEAR GOD’S STORY

To live as He would live.

READINGQUESTIONS Miss Kay shared a bit of the story of her challenging marriage with Phil. What is your response to her story? What would you have done?

God uses stories to guide us. When we read the true stories of Scripture, we learn what God is like, we see His plan unfolding, and we learn principles for our own lives. How can we become a part of God’s story? By aligning our stories with His. By not just understanding what it means to follow Him, but by actually doing it—by changing our attitudes and actions to live as He would live.

What two things does verse 4 tell us about what God is like?

Use the following questions to guide your discussion of the teaching and stories you just experienced, and the Bible passage below. You may want to use the study notes on page ?? to guide your reading and discussion.

READEPHESIANS2:4-9

Verse 5 says we were “dead in transgressions.” What do you think this means? (See Study Notes on page ??.)

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made

4

us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is

What do you think it means to be saved by grace (verse 8)?

by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by

A pastor eventually asked Miss Kay if she thought her good works would get her to heaven. She thought they would, as many people do. But what does this passage tell us about how we’re saved?

grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

Miss Kay stayed faithful to Phil even when he behaved badly, and she kept praying for him. Who is someone you are praying for in faith?

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In the video teaching, Leslie pointed out that

physical death, but spiritual death. Our

Miss Kay, “clung to her grandmother’s faith

transgressions, or sins, keep us separated

until her faith became her own.” Have you

from the life that Jesus offers us. People often

ever had to hang on to the faith of someone

protest, saying “I’m a good person” but the

else to get you through a rough time? How

truth is, none of us is “good” all the time. We’ve

did that impact your own faith?

all made mistakes, and will continue to do so

Leslie shared that when her own grandmother

(see Romans 3:23). When we acknowledge

died, she began wondering about spiritual

those mistakes and quit pretending that

things. She said, “I realized I didn’t have a

we’re perfect, God forgives and welcomes us.

foundation, only wishful thinking.” What

Many times, people who are spiritually dead,

significant event in your life caused you to ask

or focused only on themselves (which is the

some deeper questions about faith?

same thing!), don’t realize they’re dead until

Dead in transgressions. This phrase may

they get to a crisis point in which they ask

seem odd to us. It is not talking about

difficult questions about life and its meaning.

God wants you to be a part of His Kingdom to weave your story into His. That will mean change to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight but it should happen steadily. By small, simple choices, we begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way— giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into Scripture, challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God.

CREATE A NEW STORY

Love not only those around us but those far from God.

In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

In the video, Leslie described going to a Bible study where a group of other women loved her and helped her grow. How has being in a group or study helped you to grow in faith?

At her Bible study, Leslie was challenged to think about what she’d do differently as a result of what she’d learned from the Bible. How would you answer that question about our study? What will you do differently this week?

Where do you get stuck most in your walk with God, and what has helped you overcome that challenge?

When Leslie accepted Jesus, she said she had confidence and assurance, even though she had a lot to learn about the Bible and living a life of faith.

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What gives you confidence and assurance? What is one thing you can do to gain more confidence (not in yourself, but in God)?

Part of living a life of faith means forgiving others, just as Miss Kay had to forgive Phil for the way he behaved in the early years of their marriage. Why is forgiveness so hard? What happens when we forgive?

What’s one thing you want to change about how you treat your spouse, or someone else you’re very close to, as a result of hearing Miss Kay’s story?

How does your faith influence your closest relationships? How can you allow your faith to have a stronger influence in those relationships?

To close your time together, spend some time worshiping God together:praying, singing, reading Scripture.

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AdditionalSTUDY

Read through the following scripture and answer.

If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into His word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may

To close your time together SPEND SOME TIME WORSHIPING GOD TOGETHER. PRAYING, SINGING, READING SCRIPTURE. HAVE SOMEONE USE THEIR MUSICAL GIFTS TO LEAD THE GROUP IN A WORSHIP SONG. TRY SINGING ACAPELLA, USING A WORSHIP CD, OR HAVE SOMEONE ACCOMPANY YOUR SINGING WITH A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT. READ A PASSAGE OF SCRIPTURE TOGETHER. MAKING IT A TIME OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP AS THE WORDS REMIND YOU OF ALL GOD HAS DONE FOR YOU. CHOOSE A PSALM OR OTHER FAVORITE VERSE.

ASK EVERYONE TO SHARE. “HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU THIS WEEK?” BE SURE TO WRITE PRAYER REQUESTS ON YOUR PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT ON PAGE 108.

want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations.

READ JAMES 1:2-4 Read through this passage slowly. What words or phrases stand out to you? Write them down. What do you think God is trying to say to you through those particular keywords?

What are some trials that you are currently facing? What is “testing your faith” these days?

How can you “consider it pure joy”?

What situations in your life have produced perseverance in you?

Close your meeting with prayer.

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DAILY DEVOTIONALS

Take time to journal your response.

Welcome to a devotional experience that will draw you closer to Jesus. Each day, read the verse

DAY 3: HEBREWS 10:24 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…”

RESPOND: How would you spur someone on toward love and good deeds? Who is someone who encourages you in this way? Spend some time praying for this person.

given. Take your time. Imagine Jesus is sitting with you. Then, imagine Him saying the words in the “reflect” section to you—reassuring you with His presence and loving you with His words of comfort and strength. After reflecting on Jesus’ words to you, take some time to journal your response to Him. You can write whatever’s on your heart. Answer the “respond” question only if it’s helpful. You may want to go another direction and that is exactly what you’re free to do. On the first day, you may want to read over all the verses for the week to get the “big picture” of the passage. But then walk slowly verse by verse, listening to Jesus and responding to Him as you meditate on the truths of Scripture and experience His presence.

DAY 1: READ HEBREWS 10:22 “ Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

DAY 4: READ HEBREWS 10: 25 ”Not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

RESPOND: This verse encourages us to meet together. What does that mean? How does being in community strengthen your faith? When are you tempted to give up on being with other believers?

RESPOND: How does guilt keep us far from God? What promise does this verse make about our relationship with God through faith?

DAY 5: READ HEBREWS 10:35-36 ”So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

DAY 2: READ HEBREWS 10:23

RESPOND: What makes it hard to persevere in faith? How is giving up on faith “throwing away

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”

your confidence”? If you throw your confidence away, what are you left with?

RESPOND: We often think about our faith in God, but the Bible has much more to say about God’s faithfulness than it does about our faith. What are some ways God has been faithful to you? How does that impact your response of faith in Him?

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DAY 6: Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your DAILY DEVOTIONS time this week.

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SESSIONNOTES

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SESSION TWO

FAMILY

SHARE YOUR STORY

When we share our stories, we realize we are not alone.

Discoverthepowerofyourrelationshipswith those you love the most.

MEMORY VERSE: Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6, NKJV

As we said last week, WHEN WE TELL OUR STORIES, sharing them with others, we give others the opportunity to see God at work. YOUR STORY IS BEING SHAPED, even in this moment, by being a part of this group. In fact, few things can shape us more than community. WHEN WE SHARE OUR STORIES, we can encourage someone else, and learn. We can experience the presence of God as He helps us be brave enough to reveal our thoughts and feelings.

W

hen we think about family, some of us feel joy and gratitude.

We love our families and have warm feelings just thinking about them. For others of us, the idea of family can bring some sadness or disappointment. Maybe the family you grew up in was difficult. Maybe your kids have rebelled (as two of the Robertson boys did). Maybe your husband

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isn’t the man you want him to be (as Phil was for many years). While family can be a joy or a burden (and often both), we are called to love our family. God gave you your family, and with that gift comes a responsibility to care for them, to train up your children, to pray for them. But you don’t need to do this all by yourself. God wants to help you. God cares for your family, and He wants to help it to be the best it can be. Just as two of Miss Kay’s sons returned to

the family after a prodigal season, God can restore your family. Just as God eventually changed Phil to make him a godly man, God can change your family and redirect their path. Sometimes we get so busy with work and activities that we don’tspend enough time pouring into our families.

This week’s study will help us to make our families a priority.

We’ll talk about how to love and strengthen the relationships with each person in our family.

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BEGIN YOUR TIME TOGETHER

Use the following questions to get people talking.

What was your family like when you were growing up? Was faith a part of your family’s experience? Where did faith rank on your family’s unwritten list of priorities?

What is something your family enjoys doing together?

Openyourgroupwithprayer.

This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to give you insight

Pair up with someone in your group. This person will be your spiritual partner for the rest of this study. She doesn’t have to be your best friend, but will simply encourage you to complete the goals you set for yourself during this study. Following through on a resolution is tough when you’re on your own; it makes all the difference to have a partner cheering you on.

as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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Be Content Whatever

the Circumstance.

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WATCHTHEDVD Use the Notes space provided to record any key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on.

After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions direct the discussion among the group.

As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

HOW CAN WE BECOME A PART OF GOD’S STORY? BY ALIGNING OUR STORIES WITH HIS.

BY UNDERSTANDING WHAT IT MEANS TO FOLLOW HIM. USE THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO GUIDE YOUR DISCUSSION OF THE TEACHING

SESSIONNOTES

AND STORIES YOU JUST EXPERIENCED, AND THE BIBLE PASSAGE BELOW.

HEAR GOD’S STORY

To live as He would live.

READ PHILIPPIANS 4:11-13 (NRSV) “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

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READINGQUESTIONS

STUDY NOTES

We are all in different places on our journey of faith, and can all learn from each other. What do you think is the next step for you, when it comes to your faith? How does your faith impact your family?

This passage talks about contentment. How can you choose to be content? What does this passage say that the secret to being content is?

What happens to our families when we- as moms, wives, daughters or aunts- are bitter and complaining instead of content? How can our attitudes impact the attitudes, and even the experiences, of our

T

he way he should

their strengths and personality

go… Each child is

and encourage growth in those

unique, and there

directions. We are to raise them

is no one formula

up in the particular and unique

for the way every

way God has made them to go.

child should go. The

Noticing and calling out the gifts

meaning in the original Hebrew of

of each child, and teaching them

this verse implied that we should

about God’s love, will help

raise up each child according to

them to grow into who God

their particular bent—to notice

made them to be.

As women, we often feel like Miss Kay, who was the glue that held her family together. When we try to do this without God, we’ll be quickly exhausted . What does this passage tell us about where our strength

Our memory verse tells us to train up our children—what do you think this means?

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Developing our ability to serve according to the leading of the Holy Spirit takes time and persistence in getting to know our Lord. So the first step toward serving others is, paradoxically, spending time alone with God: in prayer, in studying and reflecting on God’s Word. Here are some simple ways to connect with God. Tell the group which one you plan to try this week, and then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges.

PRAYER. COMMIT TO PERSONAL PRAYER AND DAILY CONNECTION WITH GOD. YOU MAY FIND IT IN THIS SECTION, TALK ABOUT HOW YOU WILL APPLY THE WISDOM YOU’VE LEARNED FROM THE TEACHING AND BIBLE STUDY. THEN THINK ABOUT PRACTICAL STEPS YOU CAN TAKE IN THE COMING WEEK TO LIVE OUT WHAT YOU’VE LEARNED.

HELPFUL TO WRITE YOUR PRAYERS IN A JOURNAL.

DAILY DEVOTIONALS

Take time to journal your response.

THE DAILY DEVOTIONS PROVIDED IN EACH SESSION OFFER AN OPPORTUNITY FOR READING A SHORT BIBLE PASSAGE FIVE DAYS A WEEK DURING THE COURSE OF THIS STUDY. IN OUR

What’s one thing in the video teaching that particularly impacted you? What’s one step you want to take as a result of that insight?

How often do you talk about spiritual things with your family, or pray with them? What’s one thing you have learned in this group that you could simply share with your family?

Miss Kay said in the video that she clung to this verse and it helped her through hard times.

What are you going through right now that you need to lean on Christ’s strength to endure?

Familiar (neighbors, kids’ sports teams, school, and so forth)

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Family

How do we access the strength that Christ promises to give us?

What is one way that you could serve and love your family this week?

We can often feel unappreciated for all the work we do to help our families. But our Bible passage reminds us that it is not the approval of others that gives us strength, but Christ who gives us strength. What happens to you when you worry too much about other peoples’ approval?

Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation

(immediate or extended)

Friends

to come to a church service, to join your small group, or even to just have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring people to mind so you can pray for them.

Take a look at the Circles of Life diagram below and write the names of two or three people you know who need to know Christ. Commit to praying for God’s guidance and an opportunity to share with each of them. Share your lists with the group so that you can all be praying for the people you’ve identified.

Fun

(gym, hobbies, hangouts)

HURRY-UP WORLD, WE OFTEN MOVE TOO QUICKLY THROUGH EVERYTHING—EVEN READING GOD’S WORD! SLOW DOWN. DON’T JUST SKIM, BUT TAKE TIME TO READ CAREFULLY AND REFLECT ON GOD’S WORD. WRITE DOWN YOUR INSIGHTS ON WHAT YOU READ EACH DAY. COPY A PORTION OF SCRIPTURE ON A CARD AND TAPE IT SOMEWHERE IN YOUR LINE OF SIGHT, SUCH AS YOUR CAR’S DASHBOARD OR THE KITCHEN TABLE. OR TEXT IT TO YOURSELF! THINK ABOUT IT WHEN YOU SIT AT RED LIGHTS, OR WHILE YOU’RE EATING A MEAL. REFLECT ON WHAT GOD IS SAYING TO YOU THROUGH THESE WORDS. ON THE SIXTH DAY SUMMARIZE WHAT GOD HAS SHOWN YOU THROUGHOUT THE WEEK.

Firm

(work)

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Tocloseyourtimetogether

AdditionalSTUDY

Read through the following scripture and answer.

If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into His word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations.

SPEND SOME TIME WORSHIPING GOD TOGETHER. PRAYING, SINGING, READING SCRIPTURE. HAVE SOMEONE USE THEIR MUSICAL GIFTS TO LEAD THE GROUP IN A WORSHIP SONG. TRY SINGING ACAPELLA, USING A WORSHIP CD, OR HAVE SOMEONE ACCOMPANY YOUR SINGING WITH A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT. READ A PASSAGE OF SCRIPTURE TOGETHER. MAKING IT A TIME OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP AS THE WORDS REMIND YOU OF ALL GOD HAS DONE FOR YOU. CHOOSE A PSALM OR OTHER FAVORITE VERSE.

ASK EVERYONE TO SHARE. “HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU THIS WEEK?” BE SURE TO WRITE PRAYER REQUESTS ON YOUR PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT ON PAGE 108.

READ 1 PETER 3:1-7 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers”

The phrase “in the same way” occurs twice in this passage. Underline it. What does this tell us about God’s ideals for families (see also Ephesians 5:21)?

Miss Kay eventually won Phil over to God. How can you win someone over to faith without speaking a word?

How can you cultivate “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”? How would doing so impact your family?

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WORSHIPGOD

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DAILY DEVOTIONALS

Take time to journal your response.

DAY 3: READ PSALM 68:4B ”Rejoice before him—his name is the Lord..”

RESPOND: How does focusing on God, rather than on our problems or our complaints about our families, help us to rejoice?

Each day, read the verse given. Take your time. Imagine Jesus is sitting with you. Then, imagine Him saying the words in the “reflect” section to you—reassuring you with His presence and loving you with His words of comfort and strength. After reflecting on Jesus’ words to you, take some time to journal your response back to Him. You can write whatever’s on your heart. Answer the “respond” question only if it’s helpful. You may want to go another direction and that is exactly what you’re free to do. On the first day, you may

DAY 4: READ PSALM 68:5

want to read over all the verses for the week to get the “big picture” of the passage. But then

”A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”

walk slowly verse by verse, listening to Jesus and responding to Him as you meditate on the

RESPOND: As women, we are likely to outlive our fathers, and typically, our husbands. Or we may become “widows” (women alone) through other circumstances. What promises does God make to us through this verse? What does it tell us about God’s concern and care for women?

truths of Scripture and experience His presence. (This week’s devotions are taken from The Message Bible.)

DAY 1: READ PSALM 68:3 ”But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.”

RESPOND: What are some of the strengths of your family? What can you spend some time thanking God and rejoicing before Him about? Thank Him for specific things you love about your family.

DAY 5: READ PSALM 68:6 ”God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing..”

RESPOND: Have you ever felt lonely? Who is someone you know who might also be lonely someone you could reach out to and include

DAY 2: READ PSALM 68:4

in some of your family activities? Who needs to hear about the family of God, and the freedom they could find in Jesus? Pray that God would lead you to reach out to that person who needs a connection.

”Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds.”

RESPOND: As a wife or mom, or as a single woman who has influence in your extended family, how can focusing on praising God have a positive impact on your family? Spend some time privately worshipping God, as this verse tells us to do. Then carry that spirit of worship and God-focus into your interactions with your family.

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DAY 6: Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your DAILY DEVOTIONS time this week.

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SESSIONNOTES

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SESSION three

FRIENDS Discover the power of your relationships with a few close friends.

MEMORY VERSE: As iron sharpens iron, so one person

T

he best friendships bring out the best in us, even if that requires loving confrontation. They force us to think and grow by challenging us. They bring out our best by encouraging us with love, but also by inviting us to become even better by following after God.all we need. As we practice generosity, He grows in us a heart of compassion for those who are

less fortunate. Ultimately, stewardship is about trusting God enough to realize all we have is really His anyway. It’s a chance to use His resources to help those in need to love others by meeting tangible needs. This week we’re going to talk about how to have friends by being a friend, and why we were never meant to be alone, especially on the journey of faith.

sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

The friends we choose can have a huge impact on our lives—for better or worse. As we’ve listened to Miss Kay’s story during the first two weeks of this study, we heard about how Phil was negatively influenced by his college football teammates. Friends can help us up, but they can also drag us down.

The best friendships bring out the best in us, even if that requires loving confrontation. They force us to think and grow by challenging us. They bring out our best by encouraging us with love, but also by inviting us to become even better by following after God.

Some friendships don’t necessarily pull us down, but they stay at a superficial level, which really doesn’t satisfy our souls or help us to grow. The best friendships are the ones described in Proverbs as “iron sharpening iron.” That may sound harsh, but it ultimately creates stronger and more satisfying relationships.

This week we’re going to talk about how to have friends by being a friend, and why we were never meant to be alone, especially on the journey of faith.

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OpenYourGroupWIthPrayer This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to give you insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop

Tell the group about a time you had a friend who was a “bad influence” on you. What eventually happened to that friendship?

Who is someone who is (or was) a “good influence” on you? How did their friendship impact your behavior? How did you feel about yourself when you were with this

momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

Sit with your spiritual partner. If your partner is absent or if you are new to the group, join with another pair or someone who doesn’t yet have a partner. If you haven’t established your spiritual partnership yet, do it now. (See Share Your Story on page ?? in Session Two.) Talk about one thing that you learned last week or in the

SHARE YOUR STORY

When we share our stories, we realize we are not alone.

STORIES. TELLING OUR PERSONAL STORIES BUILDS DEEPER CONNECTIONS AMONG GROUP MEMBERS. BEGIN YOUR TIME TOGETHER BY USING THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS AND ACTIVITIES TO GET PEOPLE TALKING.

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WATCHTHEDVD Use the Notes space provided to record any key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on.

After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions direct the discussion among the group.

As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

SESSIONNOTES HEAR GOD’S STORY

To live as He would live.

READ JOHN 15:12-15 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

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READINGQUESTIONS

STUDYNOTES

In the video, Miss Kay said that her friends from her small group are: “like my next breath. I need them that much.” Can you relate to her statement? Do you have a few friends who you feel that close to?

What does it mean to lay down your life for a friend?

If we loved our friends as Jesus loved us, what would that look like? How would we treat them? How is the way that Jesus loved people different from the way most of us love others?

In verse 19, Jesus says that His disciples are His friends because He has shared truth with them (everything He learned from the Father). How does sharing truth build friendship? Explain.

“MY COMMAND IS THIS: LOVE ONE ANOTHER.”

“My command…It’s important to remember that Jesus was a Jewish rabbi, and His followers were also Jewish.

Their religious life centered around the Torah, the Law of God, which contained hundreds of commands about how to live. They covered everything from how to prepare food and how to keep your house clean, to how and when to

sacrifice animals and to sexual behavior.

But Jesus says, “my command is this: love one another.” A refreshingly simple command, and yet one that is never easy to do consistently. Jesus was pointing out that just following rules about our outward behavior was incomplete; He wanted our hearts to be tender toward God, and toward other people.”

In the video, Fay Harlow (Tim’s mom) said she taught her children that, “if you’re going to have a lot of friends, you’ve got to be a good friend.”

How can you teach your children or others in your extended family how

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od wants you to be a part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change—to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen

overnight—but it should happen steadily. By small, simple choices, we begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way— giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into

Scripture, challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God. In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned in this session.

IN THE VIDEO, Miss Kay talked about her sons’ friends who invited them to camp and youth group, and who often gathered with the Robertsons around their table. What can we learn from her experience when it comes to helping our children (or other children in our extended family) find and build godly friendships?

Many of the friendships Miss Kay described in her own life have God in the center.

How does focusing a friendship on God bring you closer to the other person?

In the video, Fay Harlow challenged us to reach out to someone who seems lonely because if we can be a friend to someone, she’ll be a friend to us. Who is someone you know who seems lonely and would appreciate friendship?

Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation to come to a church service, to join your small group, or to even just have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring people to mind who you can pray for.

SHARE YOUR STORY

When we share our stories, we realize we are not alone.

LOOK AGAIN AT THE PASSAGE WE READ. Look again at the passage we read. Jesus was speaking to His disciples, but also to us. How have you experienced friendship with Jesus in your life?

How does your friendship with Jesus impact your friendships with other people?

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he Bible talks about us being stewards— what do you think that means? Have someone in the group look up the word steward in the dictionary.

What are one or two things you could do within the next month to “stockpile treasure in heaven?” What, besides simply giving money, would enable you to do that?

In the last session we asked you to write some names in the Circles of Life diagram. Who did you identify as the people in your life who need to meet Jesus? Go back to the Circles of Life diagram on page 40 to help you think of the various people you come in contact with on a regular basis who need to know Jesus more deeply. Consider the following ideas for action and make a plan to follow through on one of them this week.

This is a wonderful time to welcome a few friends into your group. Which of the people you listed could you invite? It’s possible you may need to help your friend overcome obstacles to coming to a place where he or she can encounter Jesus. Does your friend need a ride to the group?

Help with child care?

C

onsider inviting a friend to attend a weekend service with you and possibly plan to enjoy a meal together afterward.

This can be a great opportunity to talk with someone about your faith in Jesus. Is there someone you wouldn’t invite to your group but who still needs a connection? Would you be willing to have lunch or coffee with that person, catch up on life, and share something you’ve learned from this study? Jesus doesn’t call all of us to lead small groups, but He does call every disciple to spiritually multiply his or her life over time.

We have found groups connect outside of the regular meeting time build stronger bonds and feel a greater sense of purpose. Why not plan a social outing with group members? As a group, brainstorm about ways you could do something fun together—enjoy a meal or a night out together.

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To close your time together SPEND SOME TIME WORSHIPING GOD TOGETHER. PRAYING, SINGING, READING SCRIPTURE.

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

HAVE SOMEONE USE THEIR MUSICAL GIFTS TO LEAD THE GROUP IN A WORSHIP SONG. TRY SINGING Á CAPELA, USING A WORSHIP CD, OR HAVE SOMEONE ACCOMPANY YOUR SINGING WITH A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT.

READ A PASSAGE OF SCRIPTURE TOGETHER. MAKING IT A TIME OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP AS THE WORDS REMIND YOU OF ALL GOD HAS DONE FOR YOU. CHOOSE A PSALM OR OTHER FAVORITE VERSE.

ASK EVERYONE TO SHARE. “HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU THIS WEEK?” BE SURE TO WRITE PRAYER REQUESTS ON YOUR PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT ON PAGE 108.

ADDITIONALSTUDY READ PHILIPPIANS 2:1-5 What does this passage tell us about how we should treat others? What are some of the key words in the passage that describe healthy relationships?

How would it impact your friendships if you put this passage into practice? What do you find most challenging about this passage?

This is one of many instances when the New Testament gives instruction about how we are to treat one another. Use a Bible app or website to search for the key words “one another” and see what other guidelines for friendship you can find in the Bible. Pick one and share it with the group the next time you meet.

Close your meeting with prayer.

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LOOKFOR

GODLYRELATIONSHIPS AndShareyourlife.

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DAILY DEVOTIONALS

Take time to journal your response.

Each day, read the verse given. Take your time. Imagine that Jesus is sitting with you. Then, imagine Him saying the words in the “reflect” section to you—reassuring you with His presence and loving you with His words of comfort and strength. After reflecting on Jesus’ words to you, take some time to journal your response to Him. You can write whatever’s on your heart. Answer the “respond” question only if it’s helpful. You may want to go another direction and that is exactly what you’re free to do. On the first day, you may want to read over all the verses for the week to get the “big picture” of the passage. But then walk slowly verse by verse, listening to Jesus and responding to Him as you meditate on the truths of Scripture and experience His presence.

DAY 1: EPHESIANS 4:1 ”As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.”

DAY 3: EPHESIANS 4:3

”Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

RESPOND: What gets in the way of unity with others for you? What is the difference between unity that comes from human efforts, and “unity of the Spirit”? How can you build that into your relationships?

DAY 4: EPHESIANS 4:4

“There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called;”

RESPOND: What word is repeated in this verse? Underline it. What gets in the way of oneness or unity, even among Christians?

RESPOND: What is the “calling you’ve received”? How does the way you live your life connect with that calling?

DAY 2: READ EPHESIANS 4:2

DAY 5: EPHESIANS 4:5-6

”Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

”One Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all..”

RESPOND: What does it mean to “bear with” someone? Who is someone you find especially challenging to “bear with” and to be patient with? Spend some time praying for that person right now. (Not just for yourself and your ability to deal with them—pray for that person.)

RESPOND: What does this verse tell us about the nature of God? If God is “in all,” it means He is in the midst of our friendships (whether we acknowledge Him or not). Since He’s in our friendships anyway, what can you do to acknowledge Him and invite His influence?

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DAY 6: Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your DAILY DEVOTIONS time this week.

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SESSIONNOTES

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SESSION FOUR

FOOD

Discover the power of your relationships around the table.

MEMORY VERSE: Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Luke 15:1-2

Something happens when we gather around a table with people we love. We don’t just nourish our bodies; we nourish our souls. The meal doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be something simple.

What matters is that people are welcomed to the table with love.

Just as Jesus often

gathered with others around a meal, we can find connection and friendship around the table. Jesus often ate with people who others looked down upon. But He was radically inclusive, and invites us to be, as well.

As we gather at a table, we connect relationally and spiritually. We share

what is going on—the big things and the small things. We listen to each other—a rare gift in our culture.

This week, we’re going to talk about hospitality, listening, extending ourselves to others, and praying together around the table as the Robertson family does.

As we have said in previous lessons, SHARING OUR

strengthen them. And your LISTENING TO OTHERS’

PERSONAL STORIES BUILDS DEEPER CONNECTIONS

STORIES IS AN ACT OF LOVE and kindness to them—

among group members. Your story may be exactly

and could very well help them to grow spiritually.

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BEGIN YOUR TIME TOGETHER

by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

When you were growing up, what was your family dinner table like? Did you eat together? Did you welcome others from outside your family?

Some of us have a difficult relationship with food, having spent many years dieting, or worrying about our weight. What messages does our culture send to us about food that seem confusing or contradictory?

Openyourgroupwithprayer.

This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to give you insight

as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop

Take time in this final session to connect with your spiritual partner. What has God been showing you through these sessions? What is one change you’ve made in your faith, your friendships, or your family as a result of what you’ve learned? What’s one thing God surprised you with during this study?

Take some time for each person to share about how they’ve done with inviting the people on the Circles of Life to church or your small group. What specific conversations are you praying about for the weeks to come?

momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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SomeofOUR

BestMemories

Come TheKitchenTable FROM

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WATCHTHEDVD Use the Notes space provided to record any key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on.

After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions direct the discussion among the group.

As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

SESSIONNOTES HEAR GOD’S STORY

To live as He would live.

READ MATHEW 9:1-9 9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’

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READINGQUESTIONS Why do you think it bothered the religious leaders to see Jesus eating with “sinners”? What does eating with someone imply about your relationship with them?

STUDY NOTES IDESIREMERCYNOTSACRAFICE.

In the video, Miss Kay said some of her best memories came from times around the table—at her grandmother’s and in her own kitchen. How does gathering family and friends around a table show love to them?

Why do you think Matthew invited his friends (who were not at all religious) to come to dinner with Jesus? What do you think he hoped would happen?

Jesus was quoting an Old Testament verse from Hosea 6:6, which is part of a passage where God confronts His people about the way that they went through the motions of religion (doing things like giving sacrifices) but their hearts were hard (not showing mercy).

The religious leaders in Jesus’ day went out of their way to not only avoid sinning themselves, but to judge people and avoid any contact with those who would be considered sinners. Jesus, by befriending people far from God, was showing mercy, and demonstrating God’s heart toward all people, not just people who follow the rules. By quoting this verse, Jesus is essentially telling the Pharisees their haughty, judgmental attitudes were not pleasing God, and that they were focusing on the wrong things.

This, of course, offended them.

In the video, Denise asked us how we can use hospitality around the table to cultivate relationships. How would you answer her question?

Miss Kay and Phil always begin their meal with a prayer. What impact does starting with prayer have on the conversation around the table?

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The Bible tells us to practice hospitality, and gives us examples, such as Mary, Martha and Lazarus welcoming Jesus to their home, as Denise pointed out in the video. To “practice” means to do it regularly and repeatedly. How can you begin to practice hospitality?

How has God changed your story during this fourweek study? What new things is He asking you to do? What truth has transformed your heart? As you walk forward in your relationship with God, what will you do differently as a result of what you’ve experienced in this group?

CREATE A NEW STORY

Love not only those around us but those far from God.

How often do you gather your family around the table? What gets in the way of that?

VERSE. THIS VERSE PROMISES THAT IF WE TITHE, GOD “WILL PREVENT PESTS FROM DEVOURING YOUR CROPS, AND THE VINES IN YOUR FIELDS WILL NOT DROP THEIR FRUIT BEFORE IT IS RIPE.”

WHAT WOULD BE A MODERN DAY EQUIVALENT OF THIS PROMISE?

LASTMEETINGTIME As this is the last meeting in this study, take some time to celebrate the work God has done in the lives of group members. Have each person in the group share some step of growth they have noticed in another member. (In other words, no one will talk about themselves, but affirm others in the group.) Make sure each person gets affirmed and noticed and celebrated—whether the

Our culture tends to confuse hospitality with “entertaining” and putting on a fancy dinner.

But hospitality can be just throwing an extra plate on the table for one of your kids’ friends, or bringing a casserole to a sick neighbor. How can you begin to redefine hospitality? How might changing your definitionhelp you to practice it?

steps they’ve made are large or small.

In the video, Denise talked about Jesus feeding the 5000 (see Matthew 14:13-21 or John 6:1-14) and the 4000 (Mark 8:1-10). She noted that Jesus cared not only for our spiritual needs but our physical needs, as well. How does meeting someone’s physical need for food also provide opportunities for us to share spiritual “food”?

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Tocloseyourtimetogether

AdditionalSTUDY

Read through the following scripture and answer.

If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into His word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s IF YOUR GROUP STILL NEEDS TO MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT CONTINUING TO MEET AFTER THIS SESSION, HAVE THAT DISCUSSION NOW. TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU WILL STUDY, WHO WILL LEAD, AND WHERE AND WHEN YOU WILL MEET. REVIEW YOUR SMALL GROUP AGREEMENT ON PAGE 96 AND EVALUATE HOW WELL YOU MET YOUR GOALS. DISCUSS ANY CHANGES YOU WANT TO MAKE AS YOU MOVE FORWARD. IF YOU PLAN TO CONTINUE MEETING, AND YOUR GROUP STARTS A NEW STUDY, THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO TAKE ON A NEW ROLE OR CHANGE ROLES OF SERVICE IN YOUR GROUP. WHAT NEW ROLE WILL YOU TAKE ON? IF YOU ARE UNCERTAIN, MAYBE YOUR GROUP MEMBERS HAVE SOME IDEAS FOR YOU. REMEMBER YOU AREN’T MAKING A LIFETIME COMMITMENT TO THE NEW ROLE; IT WILL ONLY BE FOR A FEW WEEKS. MAYBE SOMEONE WOULD LIKE TO SHARE A ROLE WITH YOU IF YOU DON’T FEEL READY TO SERVE SOLO.

theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations.

READ ROMANS 12:12-13 How are the other instructions Paul gives in this passage related to hospitality?

What does this verse tell us about who we’re supposed to show hospitality to?

In your daily life, you may not notice people who are in need. How can you be “faithful in prayer” and ask God to show you those people who may have hidden needs?

CLOSE BY PRAYING FOR YOUR PRAYER REQUESTS AND TAKE A COUPLE OF MINUTES TO REVIEW THE PRAISES YOU HAVE RECORDED OVER THE PAST FIVE WEEKS ON THE PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT ON PAGE 108. SPEND SOME TIME JUST WORSHIPPING GOD AND THANKING HIM FOR ALL HE’S DONE IN YOUR GROUP DURING THIS STUDY.

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DAILY DEVOTIONALS

Take time to journal your response.

Each day, read the verse given. Take your time. Imagine Jesus is sitting with you. Then, imagine Him saying the words in the “reflect” section to you—reassuring you with His presence and loving

DAY 3: READ MATTHEW 14:16 ” Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

RESPOND: What does this verse tell us about God’s heart for the poor? hurry and rush?

you with His words of comfort and strength. After reflecting on Jesus’ words to you, take some time to journal your response to Him. You can write whatever’s on your heart. Answer the “respond” question only if it’s helpful. You may want to go another direction and that is exactly what you’re free to do. On the first day, you may want to read over all the verses for the week to get the “big picture” of the passage. But then walk slowly verse by verse, listening to Jesus and responding to Him as you meditate on the truths of Scripture and experience His presence.

DAY 1: MATTHEW 14:14 ”When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.”

RESPOND: What does this verse tell us about the character of Jesus? What sort of person is He?

DAY 4: READ MATTHEW 14:17-18 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered. “Bring them here to me,” he said”

RESPOND: Have you ever chosen not to show hospitality because you felt like you didn’t have enough to share, or that your house or food or table settings weren’t good enough? What happens when we let our feelings of inadequacy or our fear of scarcity get in the way of our faith?

DAY 2: MATTHEW 14:15 ”As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

RESPOND: Have you ever felt like the disciples—tired of people and their needs, wanting to send them on their way?

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DAY 5: READ MATTHEW 14:19 ”And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.”

SESSIONNOTES

RESPOND: Why did Jesus give the food to the disciples to distribute, rather than giving it to the people Himself? As Jesus’ modern day disciples, what is He giving to you to give to others?

Don’t just think in terms of ideas, but in practical, tangible ways.

DAY 6: Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your DAILY DEVOTIONS time this week.

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APPENDICES GREAT RESOURCES TOHELPMAKEYOUR

SMALL GROUP

EXPERIENCE

EVENBETTER!

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FREQUENTLY ASKED

QUESTIONS

WHAT DO WE DO ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF OUR GROUP?

open, you’ll be amazed at the people God

Like all fun things in life–have a party! A

become a friend for life. You never know!

sends your way. The next person just might

“get to know you” coffee, dinner, or dessert is a great way to launch a new study. You may want to review the Group Agreement (pages 96-98) and share the names of a few friends you can invite to join you. But most importantly, have fun before your study time begins.

HOW LONG WILL THIS GROUP MEET? It’s totally up to the group–once you come to the end of this 4-week study. Most groups meet weekly for at least their first 4 weeks. We strongly recommend the group meet for the first six months on a

WHERE DO WE FIND NEW MEMBERS FOR OUR GROUP?

weekly basis if at all possible. This allows

This can be troubling, especially for new

they aren’t gone for a whole month.

for continuity, and if people miss a meeting

groups that have only a few people or for existing groups that lose a few people

At the end of this study, each group

along the way. We encourage you to pray

member may decide if he or she wants

with your group and then brainstorm a

to continue on for another 4-week study.

list of people from work, church, your

Some groups launch relationships for years

neighborhood, your children’s school,

to come, and others are stepping-stones

family, the gym, and so forth. Then have

into another group experience. Either way,

each group member invite several of the

enjoy the journey.

people on his or her list. Another good strategy is to ask church leaders to make an announcement or allow a bulletin insert.

No matter how you find members, it’s vital you stay on the lookout for new people to join your group. All groups tend to go through healthy attrition–the result of moves, releasing new leaders, ministry opportunities, and so forth–and if the group gets too small, it could be at risk of

CAN WE DO THIS STUDY ON OUR OWN?

WHAT IF THIS GROUP IS NOT WORKING FOR US?

HOW DO WE HANDLE THE CHILD CARE NEEDS IN OUR GROUP?

You’re not alone! This could be the result of

Very carefully. Seriously, this can be a

a personality conflict, life stage difference,

sensitive issue. We suggest you empower

geographical distance, level of spiritual

the group to openly brainstorm solutions.

maturity, or any number of things. Relax.

You may try one option that works for

Pray for God’s direction, and at the end

a while and then adjust over time. Our

of this 6-week study, decide whether to

favorite approach is for adults to meet in

continue with this group or find another.

the living room or dining room, and to

You don’t buy the first car you look at or

share the cost of a babysitter (or two) who

marry the first person you date, and the

can be with the kids in a different part

same goes with a group. Don’t bail out

of the house. In this way, parents don’t

before the 4 weeks are up–God might have

have to be away from their children all

something to teach you. Also, don’t run

evening when their children are too young

from conflict or prejudge people before

to be left at home. A second option is to

you have given them a chance. God is still

use one home for the kids and a second

working in you too!

home (close by or a phone call away) for

WHO IS THE LEADER?

responsibility of providing a lesson or care

Most groups have an official leader.

for the children either in the same home

But ideally, the group will mature and

or in another home nearby. This can be an

members will rotate the leadership of

incredible blessing for kids.

meetings. We have discovered healthy groups rotate hosts/leaders and homes

Finally, the most common idea is to decide

on a regular basis. This model ensures

you need to have a night to invest in your

all members grow, give their unique

spiritual lives individually or as a couple,

contribution, and develop their gifts. This

and to make your own arrangements for

study guide and the Holy Spirit can keep

child care. No matter what decision the

things on track even when you rotate

group makes, the best approach is to

leaders. Christ has promised to be in your

dialogue openly about both the problem

midst as you gather. Ultimately, God is your

and the solution.

leader each step of the way.

Absolutely! This may sound crazy but one of the best ways to do this study is not with a full house but with a few friends. You may choose to gather with one other couple who would enjoy going out or having a quiet dinner and then walking through this study. Jesus will be with you even if there are only two of you (Matthew 18:20).

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the adults. A third idea is to rotate the

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SMALL GROUP AGREEMENT

OURPURPOSE

OURVALUES GROUP ATTENDANCE

SPIRITUAL GROWTH.

email if we will be late or absent. (Completing the Group Calendar will minimize this issue.)

TO PROVIDE A PREDICTABLE ENVIRONMENT WHERE PARTICIPANTS EXPERIENCE AUTHENTIC COMMUNITY AND

To give priority to the group meeting. We will call or

SAFE ENVIRONMENT

To help create a safe place where people can be heard and feel loved. (Please, no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes.)

RESPECT DIFFERENCES

To be gentle and gracious to people with different spiritual maturity, personal opinions, temperaments, or “imperfections” in fellow group members. We are all works in progress.

CONFIDENTIALITY

To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and within the group, and to avoid sharing improper information about those outside the group.

ENCOURAGEMENT FOR GROWTH

To be not just takers but givers of life. We want to spiritually multiply our life by serving others with our God-given gifts.

SHARED OWNERSHIP

To remember every member is a minister and to ensure each attender will share a small team role or responsibility over time.

ROTATING HOSTS/ LEADERS AND HOMES

To encourage different people to host the group in their homes, and to rotate the responsibility of facilitating each meeting.

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OUR

EXPECTATIONS

GROUP

CALENDAR

Planning and calendaring can help ensure the greatest participation at every meeting. At the end of each meeting, review this calendar. Be sure to include a regular rotation of host homes

•

Refreshments/mealtimes _____________________________________

•

Child care ________________________________________________

•

When we will meet (day of week) _____________________________

•

Where we will meet (place) __________________________________

•

We will begin at (time) ______________ and end at ______________

•

We will do our best to have some or all of us attend a worship service together.

Our primary worship service time will be ________________

•

Date of this agreement ______________________________________

•

Date we will review this agreement again _______________________

•

Who (other than the leader) will review this agreement at the end of

this study ________________________________________________

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and leaders, and don’t forget birthdays, socials, church events, holidays, and mission/ministry projects. Go to www.lifetogether.com for an electronic copy of this form and other ideas for your group to do together.

DATE

LESSON

HOST HOME

Monday, January 15

1

Steve and Laura’s House

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DESSERT/ MEAL

LEADER

Joe

Bill

SMALL GROUP

ROSTER

SPIRITUAL

PARTNERS

CHECK-IN PAGE

NAME

MY NAME:

WEEK 4

WEEK 3

WEEK 2

WEEK 1

OUR PLANS

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Briefly check in each week and write down your personal plans and progress for the next week (or even for the next few weeks). This could be done (before or after the meeting) on the phone, through an email message, or even in person from time to time.

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SPIRITUAL PARTNER’S NAME:

OUR PROGRESS

MEMORY

VERSES

HOSTING AN

OPENHOUSE

If you’re starting a new group, try

or she hopes to get out of the study.

SESSION 1

planning an “open house” before your

You might want to review the Small

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

first formal group meeting. Even if you

Group Agreement and talk about each

only have two to four core members,

person’s expectations and priorities.

SESSION 2

it’s a great way to break the ice and to

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as

consider prayerfully who else might

Finally, set an open chair (maybe two)

faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do

be open to join you over the next few

in the center of your group and explain

so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with

weeks. You can also use this kick-off

it represents someone who would

the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus

meeting to hand out study guides,

enjoy or benefit from this group,

Christ.” 1 Peter 4:10-11

spend some time getting to know

but who isn’t here yet. Ask people to

each other, discuss each person’s

pray about whom they could invite

expectations for the group and briefly

to join the group over the next few

pray for each other.

weeks. Hand out postcards and have

SESSION 3 “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38

everyone write an invitation or two.

A simple meal or good desserts always

Don’t worry about ending up with too

make a kick-off meeting more fun.

many people; you can always have

SESSION 4

After people introduce themselves

one discussion circle in the living room

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test

and share how they ended up being

and another in the dining room after

me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of

at the meeting (you can play a game

you watch the lesson. Each group

heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”

to see who has the wildest story!),

could then report prayer requests and

Malachi 3:10

have everyone respond to a few

progress at the end of the session.

icebreaker questions: “What is your favorite family vacation?” or “What is

You can skip this kick-off meeting

one thing you love about your church/

if your time is limited, but you’ll

our community?” or “What are three

experience a huge benefit if you take

things about your life growing up

the time to connect with each other in

that most people here don’t know?”

this way.

Next, ask everyone to tell what he

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LEADING FOR

THEFIRSTTIME TEN COMMON LEADERSHIP EXPERIENCES. WELCOME TO LIFE OUT IN FRONT!

1. Sweaty palms are a healthy sign. The Bible says God is gracious to the humble.

Remember who is in control; the time to worry is when you’re not worried. Those

7. Use online resources. There are many notable small group leader blogs and resources available.

who are soft in heart (and sweaty palmed) are those whom God is sure to speak through.

8. Prayerfully consider launching a new group. This doesn’t need to happen overnight, but God’s heart is for this to happen over time. Not all christians are

2. Seek support. Ask your leader, co-leader, or close friend to pray for you and prepare with you before the session. Walking through the study will help you

called to be leaders or teachers, but we are all called to be “shepherds” of a few someday.

anticipate potentially difficult questions and discussion topics.

9. Share with your group what God is doing in your heart. God is searching for those 3. Bring your uniqueness to the study. Lean into who you are and how God wants you to uniquely lead the study.

4. Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Go through the session several times. If you are using

whose hearts are fully His. Share your trials and victories. We promise people will relate.

10. Prayerfully consider whom you would like to pass the baton to next week. It’s only

the DVD, listen to the teaching segment and Leadership Lifter. Consider writing in

fair. God is ready for the next member of your group to go on the faith journey you

a journal or fasting for a day to prepare yourself for what God wants to do.

just traveled. Make it fun, and expect God to do the rest.

5. Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare.

6. Ask for feedback so you can grow. Perhaps in an email or on cards handed out at the study, have everyone write down three things you did well and one thing you could improve on. Don’t get defensive, but show an openness to learn and grow.

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LEADERSHIP 101 TRAINING TOP TEN IDEAS FOR NEW LEADERS

4. Prepare for your meeting ahead of time. Review the session and the leader’s notes, and write down your responses to each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask group members to do something other than engage in discussion.

These exercises will help your group live what the Bible teaches, not just talk about it.

Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper and pens) to your meeting. If the exercise employs one of the items in the Appendices, be sure to look over that item so you’ll know how it works. Finally, review the “Outline for Each Session” so you’ll remember the purpose of each section in the study.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE RESPONDED TO THE CALL TO HELP SHEPHERD

5. Pray for your group members by name. Before you begin your session, go around the room

JESUS’ FLOCK. THERE ARE FEW OTHER TASKS IN THE FAMILY OF GOD THAT SURPASS

in your mind and pray for each member by name. You may want to review the prayer list

THE CONTRIBUTION YOU WILL BE MAKING. AS YOU PREPARE TO LEAD, WHETHER

at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person

IT IS ONE SESSION OR THE ENTIRE SERIES, HERE ARE A FEW THOUGHTS TO KEEP IN

uniquely. Expect God to lead you to whomever He wants you to encourage or challenge in

MIND. WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ THESE AND REVIEW THEM WITH EACH NEW

a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead!

DISCUSSION LEADER BEFORE HE OR SHE LEADS. 6. When you ask a question, be patient. Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or two of silence to think about the question, and if silence doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother anyone else. After someone responds, affirm the response with a 1. Remember you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and He knew you would be asked to lead your group. Remember it is common for all good leaders to feel they are not ready to lead. Moses, Solomon, Jeremiah and Timothy - they all were reluctant to lead.

God promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you

simple “thanks” or “good job.” Then ask, “How about somebody else?” or “Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?” Be sensitive to new people or reluctant members who aren’t ready to say, pray or do anything. If you give them a safe setting, they will blossom over time.

are leading for one evening, for several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you

With a greater opportunity to talk in a small circle, people will connect more with the study,

serve.

apply more quickly what they’re learning and ultimately get more out of it. A small circle also

2. Don’t try to do it alone. Pray right now for God to help you build a healthy leadership team.

If you can enlist a co-leader to help you lead the group, you will find your experience to be much richer. This is your chance to involve as many people as you can in building a healthy group. All you have to do is call and ask people to help, you’ll be surprised at the response.

3. Just be yourself. If you won’t be you, who will? God wants you to use your unique gifts and temperament. Don’t try to do things exactly like another leader; do them in a way that fits you! Just admit it when you don’t have an answer, and apologize when you make a mistake.

Your group will love you for it, and you’ll sleep better at night!

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encourages a quiet person to participate and tends to minimize the effects of a more vocal or dominant member. It can also help people feel more loved in your group. When you gather again at the end of the section, you can have one person summarize the highlights from each circle. Small circles are also helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying aloud will feel more comfortable trying it with just two or three others. Also, prayer requests won’t take as much time, so circles will have more time to actually pray. When you gather back with the whole group, you can have one person from each circle briefly update everyone on the prayer requests. People are more willing to pray in small circles if they know the whole group will hear all the prayer requests.

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PRAYER & PRAISE

PRAYER & PRAISE

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REPORT

REPORT

NOTES

NOTES

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AboutThe AUTHOR

TIM HARLOW, Pastor of Parkview Christian Church

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