Northview Church - Steve Poe - Family Matters - Print Curriculum by Lifetogether Ministries

COPYRIGHT © 2015 BY NORTHVIEW CHURCH, CARMEL, IN 46060 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED PUBLISHED BY COPYRIGHT AND USE OF THE CURRICULUM TEMPLATE IS RETAINED BY BRETT EASTMAN. UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED, ALL SCRIPTURE QUOTES ARE TAKEN FROM THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. COPYRIGHT 1973, 1978, 1984 AND 2011 BY BIBLICA, INC.® USED BY PERMISSION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE. ISBN PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

INTRODUCTION 1 USING THIS WORKBOOK (READ THIS FIRST) 2 OUTLINE OF EACH SESSION 4 TIPS ON HOSTING A NEW GROUP 8

Contents

Session One:

Session Two:

Session Three:

Session Four:

Session Five:

Session Six:

110

HAPPILY EVER AFTER PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED • PART ONE PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED • PART TWO PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED • PART THREE SINGLED OUT

WE ARE FAMILY APPENDICES

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 132 LIFE GROUP GROUND RULES 137 MEMORY VERSE CARDS (CLIP AND REVIEW) 139 PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT 141 LIFE GROUP ROSTER 142 NOTES 143

Introduction

Watch a television show, catch a movie, or read a novel—chances are there will be a romantic relationship as part of the story. We are hardwired for relationships; from the days of Adam and Eve, God created us with a longing for a partner to enjoy life with, and, for most of us, eventually “settle down” to get married and have children.

TURN ON THE RADIO TO ANY STATION WITH POPULAR MUSIC, AND YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO HEAR A LOVE SONG.

However, some people stay single their entire lives. Others marry but don’t have kids. Our stories and our circumstances are all unique, but there are biblical principles that apply to each one of us. Whether you’re single or married, divorced or widowed, with a house full of kids or an empty-nester, you are created in the image of a God who longs for relationship with you and wants you to build strong relationships with other people. In this study, we’ll start learning how to do relationships God’s way.

Introduction

UsingThis Workbook

TOOLS TO HELP YOU HAVE A GREAT LIFE GROUP EXPERIENCE!

1. 2. 3.

4. 5. 6.

Family Matters

Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: (1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) Life Group Leaders. Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will be used in the sessions themselves. If you are facilitating/hosting a Life Group, the section Life Group Leaders will give you some hard-learned experiences of others that will encourage you and help you avoid many common obstacles to effective Life Group leadership. Use this workbook as a guide, not a straightjacket. If the group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the Life Group Leaders section. Enjoy your Life Group experience. Pray before each sessionâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for your group members, for your time together, and wisdom and insights. Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages so that you understand how the sessions will flow.

Using this Workbook

OUTLINE OF

EACH SESSION

A TYPICAL GROUP SESSION FOR THE FAMILY MATTERS STUDY WILL INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING SECTIONS. READ THROUGH THIS TO GET A CLEAR IDEA OF HOW EACH GROUP MEETING WILL BE STRUCTURED.

INTRO D U C TIO N .

Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject you will explore with your group. Make it a practice to read these before the session. S HARE YO U R S TO RY.

The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection with God and His family. You build that connection by sharing your story with a few people who really know you and who earn your trust. This section includes some simple questions to get you talking—letting you share as much or as little of your story as you feel comfortable doing. Each session typically offers you two or three options for participants to answer. Going around the circle and having everyone choose one question to answer is a great way to get people engaged. Ideally, everyone will not share for more than a few minutes.

Family Matters

H E AR G O D’ S S TO RY.

In this section, you’ll read the Bible and listen to teaching, in order to hear God’s story—and begin to see how His story aligns with yours. You won’t focus on accumulating information but on how you should live in light of the Word of God. We want to help you apply the insights from Scripture practically and creatively, from your heart as well as your head. At the end of the day, allowing the timeless truths from God’s Word to transform our lives in Christ should be your greatest aim.

CRE ATE A N E W S TO RY.

When the study directs you, pop in the DVD and watch a short teaching segment. You’ll then have an opportunity discuss. God wants you to be a part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. This is where the Bible’s instructions to “be doers of the Word, not just hearers” (James 1:22) come into play. Many people skip over this aspect of the

Using this Workbook

Christian life because it’s scary, relationally awkward, or simply too much work for their busy schedules. But Jesus wanted all of His disciples to know Him personally, carry out His commands, and help outsiders connect with Him. This doesn’t necessarily mean preaching on street corners. It could mean welcoming newcomers, hosting a short-term group in your home, or walking through this study with a friend. In this study, you’ll have an opportunity to go beyond Bible Study to biblical living. This section will also have a question or two that will challenge you to live out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, and worshiping God. S TU DY N OTE S .

This brief section provides additional commentary, background or insights on the passage you’ll study in the Hear God’s Story section. If you are looking for more detail, use one of the many free apps or websites to find additional study notes online.

Family Matters

FO R A D DITIO NA L S TU DY.

If you have time and want to dig deeper into more Bible passages about the topic at hand, we’ve provided additional passages and questions. Your group may choose to read and prepare ahead of each meeting in order to cover more biblical material. If you prefer not to do study homework, this section will provide you with plenty to discuss within the group. These options allow individuals or the whole group to expand their study while still accommodating those who can’t do homework or are new to your group. DAILY D E VOTIO N S .

Each week begins with a memory verse. On the Daily Devotions pages we provide scriptures to read and reflect on between sessions—a month’s worth of reflections to keep God’s Word near your heart. This provides you with a chance to slow down, read just a small portion of Scripture each day, and reflect and pray through it. You’ll then have a chance to journal your response to what you’ve read. Use this section to seek God on your own throughout the week. This time at home should begin and end with prayer. Don’t get in a hurry; take enough time to hear God’s direction.

Using this Workbook

Tips on Hosting a New Group

Take a look at the Circles of Life diagram below and write the names of two or three people you know—especially people who do not know Christ . Commit to praying for God’s guidance and an opportunity to invite each of them.

FIRST: GATHER A GROUP MOST EVERYONE YOU KNOW WANTS TO HAVE A GREAT FAMILY. FAMILY MATTERS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO INVITE YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, COWORKERS, AND NEIGHBORS TO DO A SIX-WEEK BIBLE STUDY WITH YOU IN YOUR HOME. THE TOPICS OF MARRIAGE, PARENTING, GRAND PARENTING, SINGLENESS AND BELONGING ARE TOPICS THAT ARE RELEVANT AND WILL RESONATE WITH MOST ANYONE YOU MIGHT INVITE.

If your group starts with just a few people, that is alright. Include the group in this process of inviting people. The ideal Life Group size is between 10 and 14 adults, but it is fine to start smaller and grow.

Family Matters

Tips on Hosting a New Group

FOR YOUR

FIRST MEETING

• P O U R O N TH E H OS PITALIT Y.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS FOR YOUR FIRST MEETING TOGETHER AS A LIFE GROUP:

Keep in mind that for many people the thought of going to someone’s house to have a “spiritual conversation” is very intimidating. It can trigger all kinds of insecurities. So, even little things, from your email communication to the way you greet them at the door, will go along way toward easing their fears.

Family Matters

• HAVE NAM E TAG S . If the group does not know each other, nametags are a great way to accelerate connection within the group. • S TART TH E M EE TIN G WITH INTRO D U C TIO N S . Go around the circle and have everyone introduce themselves. A good introductory tool is to have everyone use the acronym FORD to introduce themselves. FORD stands for telling a little bit about Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams.

• US E TH E LIFE G RO U P G RO U N D RU LE S

The key to getting off on the right foot is to appropriately discuss and set expectations. Start the study by reading through the Life Group ground rules on page 137.

Tips on Hosting a New Group

Just because you say something, doesn’t mean the other person will hear it—or that they’ll understand it. And just because you think a certain decision is best doesn’t mean the other person will—which means you have to talk about it. Relationships are difficult, but they’re worth it! God is relational and he created us in his image. We are designed to do life with other people, and for many of us that includes marriage. But just because these relationships are part of God’s plan doesn’t mean they’ll always be easy. We’ll look at two big areas where many couples struggle: communication and compromise.

...YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Session One

Happily Ever After

Share Your Story EACH OF US HAS A STORY. WHEN WE SHARE OUR STORIES WITH OTHERS, WE GIVE THEM THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE GOD AT WORK.

GO AROUND THE CIRCLE AND EVERYBODY PICK ONE OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO ANSWER. TRY TO KEEP YOUR ANSWERS TO JUST A FEW MINUTES.

•

How did you meet your spouse?

•

If you are not married, what do you think are the most important qualities in a spouse?

What brought you here? What do you hope to get out of this group?

Session One

Happily Ever After

READ 1 CORINTHIANS 13.

Hear God’s Story 1 Corinthians 13 is often called “The Love Chapter.” In it, the apostle Paul gives a beautiful description of what love is—not the romantic, fuzzy feelings type of love that comes and goes, but real love that’s demonstrated in action. Have someone read the passage or go around the circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and discuss as a group.

Session One

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Marriage

The first few verses describe religious people doing religious things without love. Have you ever experienced religious people being unloving? How did it affect you?

Verses 4-8 describes different components of love. Which of these do you (not your spouse!) find most challenging and why?

If you are married, how do you love your spouse well, even if your needs are not being met?

Create A New Story IN THIS SECTION, WE WILL APPLY THE WISDOM WE’VE LEARNED FROM THE TEACHING AND BIBLE STUDY. THEN THINK ABOUT PRACTICAL STEPS WE CAN TAKE IN THE COMING WEEK TO LIVE OUT WHAT WE’VE LEARNED.

Session One

Happily Ever After

Watch the DVD

What have you learned about dealing with conflict and compromise well?

WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW. USE THE NOTES SPACE PROVIDED ON PAGES 143 TO RECORD KEY THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, AND THINGS YOU WANT TO REMEMBER OR FOLLOW UP ON.

Where do people learn the skills needed to have a good marriage?

Steve says we can disagree without being disagreeable. How would you do this?

What do you think makes communication difficult in marriage (or if you are single, in relationships in general)?

How does having God at the center of a marriage make a difference?

It has been said that opposites attract and then they attack. Why do you think God designed us in such a way that we often marry someone who is quite different than us?

Session One

Happily Ever After

CLOSING THOUGHTS In the study guide, there is an opportunity each week to go deeper with Study Notes, Additional Study, and Daily Devotions. These are great ways to stay engaged and continue growing throughout the week.

• Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 141.

• Close your meeting with prayer.

Session One

Study Notes STEVE MENTIONED THE BOOK MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. AS HE SAID ON THE VIDEO, THIS BOOK GAINED POPULARITY SEVERAL YEARS AGO AS A WAY TO HELP THE TWO SEXES UNDERSTAND HOW THEY THINK, HOW THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER, AND HOW THEY VIEW PROBLEMS DIFFERENTLY. If you want another take on it from a Christian perspective, consider the book Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti. Instead of planets, the authors—certified counselors— use a food metaphor to describe how men tend to psychologically compartmentalize their thoughts and feelings and women tend to think of everything as interconnected. Neither gender’s approach is bad and each one has its strengths, but the book’s premise is that it’s possible to understand—and even delight—in the differences between the two.

Happily Ever After

For Additional Study IF YOU FEEL GOD NUDGING YOU TO GO DEEPER, TAKE SOME TIME BEFORE THE NEXT MEETING TO DIG INTO HIS WORD. EXPLORE THE BIBLE PASSAGES RELATED TO THIS SESSION’S THEME ON YOUR OWN AND JOT YOUR REFLECTIONS IN A JOURNAL OR IN THIS STUDY GUIDE. A GREAT WAY TO GAIN INSIGHT ON A PASSAGE IS TO READ IT IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT TRANSLATIONS. YOU MAY WANT TO USE A BIBLE APP OR WEBSITE TO COMPARE TRANSLATIONS.

Session One

READ PHILIPPIANS 2:1-4.

• What does it mean to be “like-minded”? How does the rest of the verse help explain this?

• What are the reasons given in verse 1 for what our motivation should be to treat each other this way?

• What happens in a relationship if both people follow these instructions?

Happily Ever After

READ ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12.

• A saying from the Talmud, the Jewish scriptures, says, “A man without companions is like the left hand without the right.” Similarly, these verses extol the benefits of partnership with someone else. How does this passage apply to marriage?

• How can failures to communicate or compromise lessen these benefits?

• Who or what is the third strand in verse 12?

Session One

Daily Devotionals MEMORY VERSE: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. PHILIPPIANS 2:3

Happily Ever After

DAY 1 • RE AD: PROVERBS 27:17.

DAY 3 • RE A D: G EN E SIS 2:18 .

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

RE S P O N D:

What does it mean to “sharpen” another person? How can you and your spouse help each other in this way?

RE S P O N D:

DAY 2 • RE AD: RO MAN S 15:5 - 6 .

DAY 4 • RE A D: RO MA N S 8:28 .

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

RE S P O N D:

Whether in a marriage relationship or another relationship, what is the ultimate goal of unity and harmony?

Session One

Take a few minutes to think about how you can be a helper to your spouse. Ask God for guidance about ways you can live out this original intention for marriage.

RE S P O N D:

Steve said God can use differences with your spouse to help you grow spiritually. How can the situations of your life right now work for your spiritual good?

Happily Ever After

DAY 5 â&#x20AC;˘ RE AD: JAM E S 4:6

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. RE S P O N D:

Many of the issues in our marriages stem from pride. Ask God for help in humbly admitting your own contributions to the problem, and receive His grace because He loves you!

DAY 6

Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

Session One

Happily Ever After

The famous comedian Ray Romano once said, “Having children is like living in a frat house—nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” Parenting is definitely not for sissies! As a parent your heart will be stretched with love beyond anything you’ve known—and your patience will be, too. From their child’s first days as a helpless infant to the wild ride of adolescence, parents constantly find themselves in a role they aren’t prepared for—and just as they figure it out, the child gets older and everything changes again!

PARENTING IS DEFINITELY NOT FOR SISSIES!

PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED PART ONE

Session Two

However, God has promised to be with us as parents, and his Word gives us wisdom about how to lead our families and raise our kids. Today we’ll dig into a few key things to focus on in the parenting adventure—no matter what craziness is going on in your life.

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

Share Your Story EVERYONE GO AROUND THE CIRCLE AND ANSWER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. TRY TO KEEP YOUR ANSWERS TO JUST A FEW MINUTES.

•

What one character trait or value was most important in your home growing up?

Session Two

•

Share a time when a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or other family member encouraged you with their words.

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

READ DEUTERONOMY 6:1-9. 6:1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess,2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. 4

Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story Have someone read the passage or go around the circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and discuss as a group Have someone read the passage or go around the circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and discuss as a group.

Session Two

Parental Guidance Required â&#x20AC;˘ Part One

Why do you think God chose to convey this message to the Israelites after 40 years of wandering in the wilderness as they are about to enter the long awaited promised land?

What does it mean to “impress” God’s commands on our children’s hearts? How do we do this?

Verses 7-9 gave instructions as to how the Israelites were to immerse and integrate God’s word into every facet of their day to day life. What would this look like in our cultural context?

Session Two

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

Watch the DVD

What do you think are some of the most important elements that make up the role of a parent?

WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW. USE THE NOTES SPACE PROVIDED ON PAGES 143 TO RECORD KEY THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, AND THINGS YOU WANT TO REMEMBER OR FOLLOW UP ON.

As you think back on how you were raised, what things would you want to carry on?

As you think back on how you were raised, what things would you want to leave behind?

6. 3.

When it comes to encouraging words, why do you think it is easier to point out what is lacking or not good enough rather than to affirm the good?

What is one thing you would like to do differently in your parenting, grand parenting, or influencing the next generation?

How do you learn to give your kids or grandkids what they need if you never received those things when you were growing up?

Session Two

Parental Guidance Required â&#x20AC;˘ Part One

CLOSING THOUGHT In the study guide, there is an opportunity each week to go deeper with Study Notes, Additional Study, and Daily Devotions. These are great ways to stay engaged and continue growing throughout the week.

• Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 141.

Study Notes LIKE LAST WEEK, STEVE MENTIONED A BOOK THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL TO YOU IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: THE BLESSING BY GARY SMALLEY. THIS IS A GREAT RESOURCE FOR HEALING WOUNDS FROM OUR OWN PAST AND LEAVING A LEGACY OF LOVE TO OUR KIDS. He also talked about some concrete ways you can demonstrate love to your kids, including physical touch and encouraging words. These are two of the “love languages” another Gary, Gary Chapman, identifies in his book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. In addition to touch and affirming words, Chapmen identifies quality time, acts of service, and gifts as other ways you can show love to not only your kids but your spouse, friends, and parents. Each of us has one or two primary love languages and when others speak that language, we feel especially loved. For example, if your language is acts of service, you may feel cherished or appreciated when your spouse vacuums out your car or helps with dinner. Your daughter may thrive on words of encouragement but not notice if you do a chore for her. And your spouse may like it if you say something kind, but won’t really feel loved without a steady diet of hugs, kisses, or hand-holding.

• Close your meeting with prayer.

Session Two

It’s important to understand others’ love languages because we usually show love in the way we’re wired to receive it—which may not always communicate as well to the people we care about. Once you know and respect their love languages, you can begin speaking, behaving, or giving in ways that truly make them feel special.

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

For Additional Study IF YOU FEEL GOD NUDGING YOU TO GO DEEPER, TAKE SOME TIME BETWEEN NOW AND OUR NEXT MEETING TO DIG INTO HIS WORD. EXPLORE THE BIBLE PASSAGES RELATED TO THIS SESSION’S THEME ON YOUR OWN, JOTTING YOUR REFLECTIONS IN A JOURNAL OR IN THIS STUDY GUIDE. WANT TO GO DEEPER? SELECT A FEW VERSES AND TRY PARAPHRASING THEM: WRITING THEM IN YOUR OWN WORDS. IF YOU LIKE, SHARE THEM WITH THE GROUP NEXT TIME YOU MEET.

Session Two

READ COLOSSIANS 3:21, 23-24.

• What does it mean to “embitter” your children? How can our behavior as parents discourage our children?

• What is the difference between working as if for the Lord and working as if for men? How do we parent “as if for the Lord”?

• What is the inheritance we receive as a reward?

• Why did the author follow his instruction to parents with a statement about working for Christ? What connection does this draw between parenting and serving God?

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

READ EPHESIANS 4:29-32.

• Based on this passage, how would the author define “unwholesome” talk?

• What is the side benefit of building up people with our words (verse 29)?

• Why would thoughtless or unkind words “grieve” the Holy Spirit?

• What does it mean to forgive the way Christ forgave us?

Session Two

Daily Devotionals MEMORY VERSE: Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

DAY 1 • RE AD: 2 TIM OTH Y 4:7- 8 .

DAY 3 • RE A D: PROVERBS 16:24 .

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

RE S P O N D:

Sometimes parenting can seem like a marathon! Today, ask God for strength to finish the race well and keep the faith.

RE S P O N D:

How can your encouraging or affirming words positively affect the people you love? Ask God to help you find opportunities to encourage your children and your spouse today.

DAY 2 • RE AD: 1 JO H N 4:11-12 .

DAY 4 • RE A D: 2 CH RO NICLE S 15:7.

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love each other, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. RE S P O N D:

RE S P O N D:

As a parent, you are one of the biggest ways your child will see God. It’s a huge responsibility but also a huge opportunity. How can you show God and His love to your child today?

Session Two

Remember, we need to have a strong belief in the importance of our role as a parent. The Bible is full of reminders that we are to be strong and courageous. Ask God to help you have strength and perseverance in parenting.

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

DAY 5 • RE AD: MAT TH E W 19:13 -15.

Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there. RE S P O N D:

What does Jesus mean when he says the kingdom of heaven belongs to people who are like children? What can we learn about our faith from parenting?

DAY 6

Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

Session Two

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

You know, the Bible doesn’t say that much about parenting. There are a few brief passages here and there, and we definitely can learn from them. But the Bible has a lot more to say about who we are and who we’re choosing to become. In other words, if we’re growing to be more like Christ, we are also going to be growing as parents, and a focus on loving Him helps us love the others in our lives, as well.

THE BIBLE HAS A LOT TO SAY ABOUT WHO WE ARE AND WHO WE’RE CHOOSING TO BECOME.

PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED PART TWO

Session Three

Fortunately, there are principles in God’s word that can help us become stronger and more mature in both areas, and this week we’re going to explore three more. These principles can help you raise your own children well….and they can help all of us as children in relationship with a loving heavenly Father.

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

Share Your Story EVERYONE GO AROUND THE CIRCLE AND ANSWER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. TRY TO KEEP YOUR ANSWERS TO JUST A FEW MINUTES.

•

Tell the group about a time you got in trouble when you were a kid. How did your parents respond? What did you learn from the experience?

Session Three

•

What are some of your best memories in having fun with your family growing up?

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

Hear God’s Story One way we can learn to parent our kids is by looking at how God “parents” us. Just as we need to appropriately discipline and provide consequences for our kids, God will use life situations to teach us hard lessons and help us “grow up” spiritually. Have someone read the passage or go around the circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and discuss as a group.

READ GALATIANS 6:7-9. 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Session Three

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

How would believing we won’t face consequences for our behavior “mock” God?

As parents, grandparents, and mentors how do we instill the principles of reaping and sowing into our kid’s lives?

How does verse 9 relate to parenting?

Session Three

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

Watch the DVD

On the video, Steve said that without discipline there is no love. When might a lack of discipline seem unloving?

WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW. USE THE NOTES SPACE PROVIDED ON PAGES 143 TO RECORD KEY THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, AND THINGS YOU WANT TO REMEMBER OR FOLLOW UP ON.

How does the way your parents incorporated fun impact you today?

5. If you are married with kids, what challenges have you faced in “getting on the same page” when it comes to parenting?

When might discipline seem unloving?

What is one area you could improve in as a parent, grandparent, or influencer of kids?

How does the way your parents handled discipline impact you today?

Session Three

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

CLOSING THOUGHT Remember to check in with the Study Notes, Additional Study, and Daily Devotions to go deeper throughout the week.

• Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 141.

Study Notes AS STEVE REMARKS IN THE VIDEO, IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE TEACH OUR KIDS THE MAJOR LESSONS OF LIFE BEFORE THEY’RE 18 YEARS OLD. IN OUR CULTURE, THAT’S THE LEGAL AGE OF ADULTHOOD, SO IT’S DEFINITELY IMPORTANT THAT WE’VE PARENTED OUR KIDS TO BE COMPLETELY RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND TO UNDERSTAND CONSEQUENCES BEFORE THEY REACH THIS MILESTONE. However, recent research by human development psychologists, neurologists, and other specialists shows that while our culture considers kids “grown” at age 18, the human brain actually continues to mature and develop until age 25. Here’s a quote from an article on the subject by National Geographic:

• Close your meeting with prayer.

Session Three

The first full series of scans of the developing adolescent brain—a National Institutes of Health (NIH) project that studied over a hundred young people as they grew up during the 1990s— showed that our brains undergo a massive reorganization between our 12th and 25th years. The brain doesn’t actually grow very much during this period. It has already reached 90 percent of its full size by the time a person is six, and a thickening skull accounts for most head growth afterward. But as we move through adolescence, the brain undergoes extensive remodeling, resembling a network and wiring upgrade…… When this development proceeds normally, we get better at balancing impulse, desire, goals, self-interest, rules, ethics, and even altruism, generating behavior that is more complex and,

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

sometimes at least, more sensible. But at times, and especially at first, the brain does this work clumsily. It’s hard to get all those new cogs to mesh. So while our society will still treat kids as adults at age 18, they’re still growing in their ability to delay gratification, set goals, and behave responsibly. This might not be great news for those of us really wanting our grown children to behave grown up, but perhaps it can give us some patience as we nurture them into young adulthood.

Session Three

For Additional Study TAKE SOME TIME BETWEEN NOW AND OUR NEXT MEETING TO DIG INTO GOD’S WORD. EXPLORE THE BIBLE PASSAGES RELATED TO THIS SESSION’S THEME ON YOUR OWN, JOTTING YOUR REFLECTIONS IN A JOURNAL OR IN THIS STUDY GUIDE. WANT TO GO DEEPER? YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO USE A BIBLE WEBSITE OR APP TO LOOK UP COMMENTARY ON THESE PASSAGES. IF YOU LIKE, SHARE WHAT YOU LEARN WITH THE GROUP THE NEXT TIME YOU MEET.

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

READ PROVERBS 3:12-15.

• Why do parents discipline the children they love? Why does God, therefore, discipline us?

• How do you know if the Lord is disciplining or “rebuking” you?

• What do we know about God’s character that tells us how he approaches our discipline? What lessons can we learn from that about how to discipline our own children?

• Why are wisdom and understanding so profitable?

READ PSALM 127.

• What does it mean for the Lord to build the house?

• Why are children called a reward from God? What does this passage teach you about God’s value for families?

Daily Devotionals

• In this psalm, there is reference to both God building and to us building. What does that tell you about raising your children—is it solely your work to do?

MEMORY VERSE: Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

• How would you put verses 4 and 5 into modern language?

Session Three

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

DAY 1 • RE AD: EPH E SIAN S 4:26 -27.

DAY 3 • RE A D: JA M E S 4:7.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

RE S P O N D:

Steve says we should discipline with guidance and love, not punish out of anger. This is easier some days than others! What does this verse say is the result of holding on to anger?

Good choices have good consequences, and here James gives a very direct summation of our personal responsibility in fighting sin. How can you submit to God and resist the devil this week?

DAY 2 • RE AD: H EBRE WS 12:11 .

DAY 4 • RE A D: PROVERBS 29:17.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. RE S P O N D:

RE S P O N D:

We grow from discipline if we are willing to learn its lessons. How can you allow God’s discipline to train you this week? Ask him to give you patience as you wait for its rewards.

Session Three

What a beautiful, hopeful promise this is. Ask God for help in disciplining your children and ask him to bless your home with peace.

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

DAY 5 • RE AD: PSALM 103:17.

But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children. RE S P O N D:

Spend some time praying about how your life can be more honoring to God, and asking for his blessing on your children and grandchildren.

DAY 6

Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

Session Three

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

The old cliché says, “The best things in life are free.” When we really stop to think about it, most of us would agree—our family, our health, our friendships, and many of the small pleasures of life cost nothing but mean everything. However, it’s easy to get sidetracked with the demands of work, sports, band practice, volunteering, committee meetings—even church. And as a result, our families suffer because we don’t spend the time to really connect with our kids, show them the best way to live, or make deposits in their memory banks.

IT’S POSSIBLE TO START MAKING BETTER CHOICES, NO MATTER HOW OLD YOUR KIDS ARE.

PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED PART THREE

Session Four

Fortunately, it’s possible to start making better choices, no matter how old your kids are. This week we’re talking about four more principles that are key to raising our children and we’re digging into Scripture that can help us apply these truths to our lives. Building a strong family isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the best things in life—and the real things that matter won’t cost you a dime.

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

Share Your Story EVERYONE GO AROUND THE CIRCLE AND ANSWER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. TRY TO KEEP YOUR ANSWERS TO JUST A FEW MINUTES.

•

What’s your favorite way to spend time together as a family?

Session Four

•

What are some great memories you have from your childhood?

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

Hear God’s Story Have someone read the passage or go around the circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and discuss as a group.

READ I PETER 3:8-11. Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult.On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 8

Session Four

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

When it comes to pursuing peace and not repaying insult with insult, why can this be particularly difficult in our families?

Which one of these directions would make the most difference in your family life?

What has it looked like for you to “seek peace and pursue it” in your relationship with family?

Session Four

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

Watch the DVD

WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW. USE THE NOTES SPACE PROVIDED ON PAGES 143 TO RECORD KEY THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, AND THINGS YOU WANT TO REMEMBER OR FOLLOW UP ON.

Steve said, “healthy kids don’t come from perfect homes but they come from peaceful homes. What do you do in your home to create peace?

If there were elements of your childhood that were painful or lacking, how do you avoid repeating the pattern that you experienced then, with your family today?

It has been said that kids spell love –T I M E. Share some things that have worked for you in connecting with your children or grandchildren?

Was there an adult other than your parents who you looked up to when you were a child or teenager? What made them influential in your life?

As you consider the goal of having a peaceful home, being a role model, and spending time with your kids or grandkids, what is one thing you would like to do less or more of?

It is possible to be physically present with your family, yet mentally or emotionally absent. How do you “stay present” when you are with your family?

Session Four

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

CLOSING THOUGHT Groups grow closer when they serve together. Let’s be thinking about how our group could serve together. Does anybody have any ideas?

• Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 141.

• Close your meeting with prayer.

Session Four

Study Notes THERE ARE A VARIETY OF RESOURCES, BOTH IN PRINT AND ONLINE, TO SPARK IDEAS FOR WAYS YOU CAN MAKE GOOD MEMORIES WITH YOUR KIDS. HERE ARE A FEW IDEAS TO GET YOU STARTED:

• Share a favorite family recipe or try something new and prepare a meal together.

• Have a special plate (in some families it’s bright red!) that’s used for good report cards, birthdays, or other celebrations.

• Find a way to serve together. Even young children can prepare a goodie basket for an elderly neighbor or choose a few toys to donate to someone in need.

• Spend time with your child learning more about his favorite hobby—even if it doesn’t interest you at all! Who knows, you might end up discovering it’s more fun than you thought—and if not, your child will never forget that you made an effort.

• If you travel for work, occasionally take one of your kids with you for some special one-on-one time.

• Ask fun questions like, “What would you do with a million dollars?” or “If you wrote a book, what would it be about?” and really listen to their answers. Don’t be surprised if they ask you the same question!

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

For Additional Study

READ 1 TIMOTHY 3:1-5.

• To be “salt” in this context means to live out the teachings of Jesus given in Chapter 5. Just as salt increases the taste of food, our lives can increase the appeal of Jesus. How can you be more “salty” this week? How could it create a thirst for the Gospel in your kids?

• What does it mean to be the light of the world?

• How can we let our light shine in our families?

• What does this passage have to teach us about being role models for our kids? What should they be learning by watching us?

Session Four

• This passage is a guideline for those who wish to be leaders or “overseers” in the church, but the principles outlined in these verses are good goals for any parent. What is one trait listed here that you do well? What is one you need to work on?

• Notice that all of these qualities focus not on our culture’s expected “leadership” qualities, but on issues of character. What does this teach us about how God expects us to lead our families?

• What does it mean to be “above reproach”? Is that even possible?

• Do you agree with the argument made in verse 5?

READ PHILIPPIANS 2:1-4.

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

Daily Devotionals MEMORY VERSE: Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. PROVERBS 22:6

DAY 1 • RE A D: PROVERBS 22:6 .

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. RE S P O N D:

Of course, there are no guarantees in life—we all know people who raised their children well and the children did, in fact, “turn from it.” But the Proverbs share wisdom that is generally true for living a good life. Does this verse give you hope? How can you grow in the way you are training your child?

DAY 2 • RE A D: PSA LM 23:4 .

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. RE S P O N D:

How do God’s rod and staff—his boundaries and gentle guidance—protect and comfort us? How can you give the same thing to your children as you shepherd them to adulthood?

Session Four

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

DAY 3 • RE AD: MAT TH E W 5:9.

DAY 5 • RE A D: 2 CO RINTHIA N S 6:18 .

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

RE S P O N D:

What does it mean to be called a son of God? How can you imitate the Son of God today?

RE S P O N D:

How does our adoption as God’s children influence the way we love our own children? How can we learn from his parenting of us as we parent our kids?

DAY 6

Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

DAY 4 • RE AD: PROVERBS 1:8 -9.

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

RE S P O N D:

This is a poetic way of describing the value of a parents’ guidance. Does it describe the legacy you are leaving to your children? Ask God for help in consistently providing instruction that will enhance your kids’ lives as they grow.

Session Four

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three

We live in a culture focused on couples. Chances are, if you’ve been a single adult you’ve faced your share of well-meaning questions (“Would you like to meet my nephew? He’s just wonderful”), advice (“You’ve just got to put yourself out there!”), and “encouragement” (“Are you being too picky?”). It’s assumed that you’re in a relationship, and if you’re not, that you desperately want to be and just can’t be happy without a significant other.

ONE IS A WHOLE NUMBER.

SINGLED OUT

Session Five

However, one is a whole number. Paul was single, Jesus was single, and it’s okay if you are, too. In fact, whether you’ve never married, you’re divorced, or you’re widowed, God can use this life stage to do great things in you and through you. This week we’ll learn more about how to live life to the full as a single adult, and how the rest of us can be an encouragement to the singles in our church.

Singled Out

Share Your Story EVERYONE GO AROUND THE CIRCLE AND ANSWER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. TRY TO KEEP YOUR ANSWERS TO JUST A FEW MINUTES.

•

If you’re currently single or have been single in the past, share one thing you loved about it and one thing that was difficult.

Session Five

•

Do you believe in the idea of “soul mates”?

•

If you’re brave enough (and the other person isn’t in the group!) tell your worst “first-date” story.

Singled Out

Hear God’s Story Have someone read the passage or go around the circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and discuss as a group.

READ 1 CORINTHIANS 7: 26-28, 32-35. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 26

What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. 29

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 32

Session Five

Singled Out

What unique challenges does being single present?

What unique advantages does being single present in your relationship with God and others?

Verse 29 says, “The time is short” and verse 31 says, “This world in its present form is passing away.” Whether married or single, how does having this perspective impact how we live our lives?

Session Five

Singled Out

Watch the DVD

Whether you’re single or married, in what way is it most difficult for you to be content?

WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW. USE THE NOTES SPACE PROVIDED ON PAGES 143 TO RECORD KEY THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, AND THINGS YOU WANT TO REMEMBER OR FOLLOW UP ON.

Why do you think married people so frequently put pressure on single people to get married?

Why do you think we so often look to marriage or a relationship to find happiness?

6. 3.

Steve says, regardless of “whether we are married or single, God has a purpose for our life right now.” How can we discover God’s purpose for our life?

If you are single, are you able to see your singleness as a “good thing, a gift, and a way to bring God glory”? Why or why not?

What are some of the needs we all have that only God can fill?

Session Five

Singled Out

CLOSING THOUGHT Be thinking about if you want to continue to meet as a group. Next week we can make a decision and work out details.

• Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 141.

Study Notes IT IS LIKELY THAT PAUL, THE AUTHOR OF 1 CORINTHIANS, WAS MARRIED AT ONE POINT. BEFORE HIS DRAMATIC CONVERSION TO CHRISTIANITY, HE HAD BEEN A HIGH-RANKING MEMBER OF THE PHARISEES, THE SECT OF EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS JEWS WHO WERE THE “ELITE” AMONG THE JEWISH PEOPLE. ACCORDING TO SOME SCHOLARS, JEWS OF THAT DAY WOULD HAVE BEEN REQUIRED TO MARRY, AND UNMARRIED MEN WERE SOMETIMES CONSIDERED EXCLUDED FROM THE FAITH. IN ADDITION, IT’S LIKELY THAT PAUL WAS A MEMBER OF THE SANHEDRIN, AND ONLY MARRIED MEN COULD BE PART OF THAT GROUP. We don’t know what happened to Paul’s wife, but the fact that he most likely experienced both marriage and singleness gives credibility to his teaching in 1 Corinthians 7.

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• Close your meeting with prayer.

Session Five

Singled Out

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For Additional Study

• The word used here for “workmanship” is only used one other place in the New Testament, Romans 1:20, where it talks about the work of God in creation. How does this reinforce Steve’s comments about your immense value regardless of your marital status?

• Steve said we are all here for a purpose and that’s to reach people who don’t know him. What good works might you able to do that could connect people to Christ?

TAKE SOME TIME BETWEEN NOW AND OUR NEXT MEETING TO DIG INTO GOD’S WORD. EXPLORE THE BIBLE PASSAGES RELATED TO THIS SESSION’S THEME ON YOUR OWN. JOT DOWN YOUR REFLECTIONS IN A JOURNAL OR IN THIS STUDY GUIDE. YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO USE A BIBLE WEBSITE OR APP TO LOOK UP COMMENTARY ON THESE PASSAGES. IF YOU LIKE, SHARE WHAT YOU LEARN WITH THE GROUP THE NEXT TIME YOU MEET.

READ EPHESIANS 2:8-10.

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• Notice these verses don’t say we’re created to do good works if we’re single, or if we’re married—we’re all created to do things for Him. What does it mean to be created in Christ Jesus?

Session Five

Singled Out

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READ HEBREWS 4:14-16.

• Sometimes we’re not content with our marital status because we’re afraid: what if we never find a spouse? What if the marriage we do have doesn’t work out? These verses, along with many others in the Bible, remind us we do not have to live lives of fear. How does verse 14 set the stage for this idea?

• What does it mean that Jesus is our High Priest? How is he able to sympathize with our struggles?

• Think about the ideas in verses 14 and 15. Do they allow you to approach God with more confidence about the fears and concerns you experience? What two things are promised if we do?

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Session Five

Daily Devotionals MEMORY VERSE: Godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 TIMOTHY 6:6DA

Singled Out

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DAY 1 • RE AD: PROVERBS 21:19.

DAY 3 • RE A D: 1 TIM OTH Y 5:1-2 .

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. RE S P O N D:

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

Well, that’s certainly blunt! If you are single, ask God for an extra measure of wisdom in considering your future spouse!

RE S P O N D:

Because most churches are multigenerational, it’s important that we remember how to treat each other in ways that honor marriages and don’t tempt the single. How can you put this into practice with the people you connect with at our church?

DAY 2 • RE AD: PROVERBS 18:22

DAY 4 • RE A D: G A L ATIA N S 3:28 .

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

RE S P O N D:

Okay, here’s one that’s a bit more positive. If you are married, take time to thank God for your spouse and his or her good qualities. If you are not and would like to be, pray that God might bring you a spouse, and pray also for the marriages of your friends and family, that they would be strong and God-honoring.

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Session Five

RE S P O N D:

Remember, there is much more to us than our marital status. Ask God to help you look beyond these small differences to find a unity that glorifies him.

Singled Out

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DAY 5 â&#x20AC;˘ RE AD: ZEPHANIAH 3:17.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. RE S P O N D:

We end the week with a reminder that the source of all love is God. Take a few minutes to simply thank God for His love for you and the grace He has shown you.

THE LORD YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU, HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE...

DAY 6

Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

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Session Five

Singled Out

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Family was designed to be permanent. Tragically, in our world today that’s not always the case. Sometimes spouses or children are abandoned. Sometimes fights and disagreements push people away. Often family members simply drift apart. But the original design for the family was that “you got what you got” and you were all stuck with each other. While that means at times you had to listen to Uncle Bob’s war stories at the family picnics AGAIN, it also provided a beautiful picture of loyalty and unconditional love. You stick YOU STICK TOGETHER, PUT UP WITH together, put up with each othEACH OTHER, AND LOVE EACH OTHER er, and love each BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FAMILIES DO. other because that’s what families do. You’re in it together, for keeps.

WE ARE FAMILY

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Session Six

Human families often fall short of this ideal, but God created our spiritual families to live this out in ways that bless us and honor Him. No matter what your biological family looks like or struggles with, your Christian family is here to support you, encourage you, and help you grow, and this week we’re digging into God’s Word to learn more about what that means.

We Are Family

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Share Your Story EVERYONE GO AROUND THE CIRCLE AND ANSWER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. TRY TO KEEP YOUR ANSWERS TO JUST A FEW MINUTES.

•

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What has surprised you most about this group? Where did God meet you over the last six weeks?

Session Six

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When is a time that someone in your church family has made a difference in your life?

•

Who originally shared God’s love with you and invited you into His family?

We Are Family

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READ EPHESIANS 4:11-13, 16. So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. 11

From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. 16

Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story Have someone read the passage or go around the circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and discuss as a group.

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Session Six

We Are Family

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What are the reasons given here for God gifting His people?

Based on this passage, what is the role of leaders in the church? What is the role of everyone else? How do we sometimes get this backwards?

How does serving and using our gifts lead to greater maturity?

Session Six

We Are Family

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Watch the DVD

WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW. USE THE NOTES SPACE PROVIDED ON PAGES 143 TO RECORD KEY THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, AND THINGS YOU WANT TO REMEMBER OR FOLLOW UP ON.

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How has God changed your story during this six-week study? What new things is He asking you to do? What truth has transformed your heart?

Steve says we’re not just a bunch of people gathering in a church building now, we’re a family that’s connected for eternity. How does that affect your view of our life and growth together as a church?

“You don’t have to do every part. You just need to do your part.” What is one thing you could do to help share God with others and be part of our spiritual family and its mission?

Think about specific steps you want to take to live a new story and to walk more closely with God so you can be part of His story, engaged in His kingdom.

6. As you walk forward in your relationship with God, what will you do differently as a result of what you’ve experienced in this group?

Session Six

What are some practical ways you could be a brother or sister, aunt or uncle, or even grandma or grandpa figure to someone in our church?

We Are Family

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CLOSING THOUGHT Let’s discuss if we want to continue together as a group, how often we will meet, and what we will study next.

• Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 141.

Study Notes JUST AS HUMAN INFANTS BEGIN BY DRINKING MILK AND LATER PROGRESS TO EATING SOLID FOOD, CHRISTIANS BEGIN WITH THE FUNDAMENTALS OF THE FAITH AND GROW INTO A DEEPER SPIRITUAL MATURITY AND UNDERSTANDING OF GOD. Several passages, such as 1 Corinthians 3:1-2, 1 Peter 2:1-3, and Hebrews 5:12-15, use this metaphor, often to challenge the readers (including us!) to grow up into spiritual adulthood. These passages are not only reminders of the need for us to mature in our faith, but at the same time to be patient with others in God’s family who are still needing spiritual “milk.” We are all at different stages on the journey, but we are all in the family!

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• Close your meeting with prayer.

Session Six

We Are Family

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For Additional Study

• The word “Abba” is Aramaic for “Father.” It is an informal word that could even be translated “Daddy.” How does this affect your understanding of this passage?

• We are heirs of God! What can we look forward to as our inheritance?

EXPLORE THE BIBLE PASSAGES RELATED TO THIS SESSION’S THEME ON YOUR OWN, JOTTING YOUR REFLECTIONS IN A JOURNAL OR IN THIS STUDY GUIDE. YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO USE A BIBLE WEBSITE OR APP TO LOOK UP COMMENTARY ON THESE PASSAGES.

READ GALATIANS 4:4-7.

• What does it mean that Jesus was born under law?

• What rights do we receive as the children of God?

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Session Six

We Are Family

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READ 1 CORINTHIANS 12:12-26.

• This is an extended analogy comparing the church to a physical body. How can the church be a unit, united in purpose (verse 12) when the parts are so different? What must each part do to contribute to that unity?

• React to verse 18. Does this encourage you? Challenge you?

• How can we suffer with the parts of the body that suffer? How can we rejoice with the parts that rejoice?

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Session Six

Daily Devotionals MEMORY VERSE: For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ROMANS 12:4-5

We Are Family

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DAY 1 • RE AD: PHILIPPIAN S 3:2 0 -21 .

DAY 3 • RE A D: JO H N 1:12-13 .

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Yet to all who received him, as those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. RE S P O N D:

RE S P O N D:

Not only are we adopted into God’s family, we’re adopted into his nationality, as well, and have a place waiting for us in heaven. Take a few minutes to reflect on this amazing truth and thank God for all he’s done for you.

How does this verse tell us we can be born of God and join his family?

DAY 2 • RE AD: CO LOSSIAN S 3:15.

DAY 4 • RE A D: 1 JO H N 3:1 .

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

RE S P O N D:

What does it mean that Jesus has called us to peace? How can we grow into more peaceful people?

Simply praise God today for his kindness and compassion and love in wanting us to be part of his family. Perhaps write out a prayer of thanksgiving in your journal or in this notebook.

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DAY 5 â&#x20AC;˘ RE AD: GAL ATIAN S 6:10.

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. RE S P O N D:

How could you do good for a Christian brother or sister today?

LET US DO GOOD TO ALL PEOPLE...

DAY 6

Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

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Appendices RESOURCES TO MAKE YOUR SMALL GROUP EXPERIENCE EVEN BETTER!

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

HOW DO WE HANDLE THE CHILDCARE NEEDS IN OUR GROUP?

HOW DO I STRUCTURE A MEETING?

Very carefully. Seriously, this can be a sensitive issue. We suggest that you empower the group to openly brainstorm solutions. You may try one option that works for a while and then adjust over time. Our favorite approach is for adults to meet in the living room or dining room and to share the cost of a babysitter (or two) who can watch the kids in a different part of the house. This way, parents don’t have to be away from their children all evening when their children are too young to be left at home. A second option is to use one home for the kids and a second home (close by or a phone call away) for the adults. A final option, is to decide that you need to have a night to invest in your spiritual lives individually or as a couple and to make your own arrangements for childcare. No matter what decision the group makes, the best approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem and the solution.

The following is an example of how one group structures their meeting. Other groups will vary the structure to fit their group’s personality. • 7–7:30 pm • Welcome / Snacks: People will arrive at different times, and this allows everyone to meet each other informally and catch up with one another prior. • 7:30–8 pm • Share Your Story: Each of us has a story. The events of our life—good, bad, wonderful or challenging—have shaped who we are. As you start the study say, “I will go first and then we will go around the circle to my right..” As you pick one of the questions and answer first, you set an example of how much detail to give and time to take in answering the question. • 8–8:45 pm • Hear God’s Story and Create a New Story: Read the scripture and answer the discussion questions; watch the video; and discuss the application questions. If you don’t make it through all of the questions, that is okay. The questions are there to spark good discussion. Be willing to be flexible. • 8:45–9 pm • Prayer: Group members will share prayer requests and the group prays together. For some people in the group, this will be the first time they have ever prayed out loud. Please remember to be patient with them and avoid putting them on the spot.

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IF I FACILITATE OR HOST THE LIFE GROUP, DO WE HAVE TO MEET IN MY HOME?  No. Many groups will share the role of having the group meet in their homes.

HOW BIG SHOULD MY LIFE GROUP BE? Ten to fourteen people is a good target range. If there are too many people or too few people in a group, it may become difficult to create and sustain a healthy environment. However, if your group starts with just a few people, that is alright. Include the group in this process of inviting people. It is fine to start small and grow.

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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE REACH THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN OUR GROUP?

WHEN SHOULD I CALL THE LIFE GROUP MINISTRY TEAM FOR HELP?

Some groups will choose to close once they have reached a predetermined, maximum number of people. Some groups will continue to add people. Sub-grouping is a strategy, which helps in this process. With this strategy, a group may have eighteen people meet together for snacks and fellowship and then break into two groups of nine, for example, once the discussion starts. This strategy allows a group to ease into multiplying.

Don’t feel like it has to be something big or really important to call us. We love to be a sounding board for you. Call us early. Call us often. What if this group is not working for us?

SHOULD WE HAVE DINNER WITH OUR MEETING? Ultimately, this is a group decision. Be aware that having a dinner will typically add significantly to the meeting time. If you have a dinner together, decide beforehand as a group how the evening will flow (i.e. Have dinner from 5 pm to 6 pm and then have the normal meeting time from 6 pm to 8 pm). In general, we would recommend not having a dinner with every meeting. Instead, consider having a dinner periodically throughout the year. Some groups will have a special dinner together after they finish a particular curriculum.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO AFTER THIS STUDY IS COMPLETED? At the end of this study, each group member may decide if he or she wants to continue on as a group for another study. Some groups launch relationships for years to come, and others are stepping-stones into another group experience. Either way, enjoy the journey.

You’re not alone! This could be the result of a personality conflict, life stage difference, geographical distance, level of spiritual maturity, or any number of things. Relax. Pray for God’s direction, and at the end of this six-week study, decide whether to continue with this group or find another. You don’t typically buy the first car you look at or marry the first person you date, and the same goes with a group. However, don’t bail out before the six weeks are up—God might have something to teach you. Also, don’t run from conflict or prejudge people before you have given them a chance. God is still working in your life, too!

WHAT DO I DO IF PEOPLE ARE NOT SHOWING UP CONSISTENTLY?  Define mutual expectations early on with the Life Group Ground Rules. If attendance becomes an issue with someone in the group, address it with them in person, not via email. Contact someone in the Life Group ministry prior to approaching the person to develop a plan and to have someone praying for you. Again, in this type of situation, err on the side of grace. Be in a place emotionally where you are more saddened that you didn’t get to see the person at group than you are frustrated that they didn’t show up.

If you decide to continue, the Life Group ministry team will make recommendations on what to study next. They also will equip you with what you will need to successfully continue as a group.

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WE SPEND A HUGE AMOUNT OF TIME ON PRAYER REQUESTS. DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?  Have people send their prayer requests via email prior to the meeting. Emphasize the idea of praying for each other during the week. Explain that in the interest of time, everyone will pray for the one or two most pressing things for each person, but a more comprehensive email will be sent out so that the group can pray more thoroughly throughout the week. Have people share requests and pray together in smaller groups.

IS IT OK TO INVITE SOMEONE TO OUR GROUP THAT DOESN’T GO TO OUR CHURCH?  If the person does not have a home church, Life Group can be a great ‘on-ramp’ to the Christian faith and to getting connected to a local church. If the person has a home church, ideally they would get connected in their own church. Joining a Life Group provides a way to get to know fellow church attendees on a deeper level. While this is the general principle, there are times when it may be appropriate to make an exception.

Life Group Ground Rules CLE AR PU RP OS E:

Northview Life Groups are all about living out the three core values of Spiritual Growth, Relationships, and Reaching Out. Go around the room, each person reading one rule. Agreeing to these rules will help everyone get the most out of the group experience. (Helpful Hint: It is a good idea to review these ground rules when new people join the group and/or you begin a new study.)

WE AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING GROUND RULES AND EXPECTATIONS: S H OW U P:

I’ll prioritize the scheduled Life Group Meeting and call in advance if I’m going to miss the meeting. S H OW RE S PEC T:

I’ll accept everyone without judgment. I’ll listen well and refrain from giving quick answers, simple fixes, or engaging in side conversations. B E S ELF-AWARE:

I’ll stretch myself to be as open and honest as I can with my perspectives and experiences. I understand that some of us are talkers and some are quieter, so I’ll be aware of not dominating the discussion or always leaving the weight of it to others.

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TAKE OWN ERS HIP:

I’ll do my part to help create a great group (translation: “I won’t stick the host/leader with all the work”). The group will be as good as I make it… I’ll share roles within the group and help challenge everyone to grow. FACE CO N FLIC T:

Community can be very messy, and conflicts may arise. I’ll offer grace to others and won’t leave the group over disagreements, realizing that God might use conflict in my spiritual formation in some way I don’t currently understand.

Memory Verse Cards S E SSIO N O N E

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

S E SSIO N T WO

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

KEEP IT CO N FID ENTIAL:

I’ll vigorously respect confidentiality. What I hear and say in the group stays in the group (unless a person is a danger to themselves or others or engaged in illegal activity*).

SESSION THREE

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

A S A G RO U P DIS CUSS H OW YO U WO U LD LIKE TO:

• Grow spiritually • Connect relationally • Serve intentionally

S E SSIO N FO U R

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

AL S O DIS CUSS:

• • • •

Where we will meet? How we will handle child care? Meeting time (From/Until) Day we will meet

*Seeking guidance from one of the pastors at Northview about a Life Group situation is not considered a violation of group confidentiality.

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S E SSIO N FIVE

Godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6)

S E SSIO N SIX

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. (Romans 12:4-5)

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PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT

CLIP AND REVIEW THE MEMORY VERSES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS PAGE.

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LIFE GROUP ROSTER

NOTES

Name Phone Email

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