Life-Giving Relationships by Bob Beckler by Lifetogether Ministries

B OB BECKLER

LIFE-GIVING

RELATIONSHIPS

B O B BE C KLE R

LIFE-GIVING

RELATIONSHIPS

Copyright © 2019 by Bob Beckler ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Published by Lifetogehter Ministires Copyright and use of the curriculum template is retained by Brett Eastman. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotes are taken from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. ISBN 978-1-950007-54-7 Printed in the United States of America

CONTENTS 04 | INTRODUCTION 06 | USING THIS WORKBOOK 07 | OUTLINE FOR EACH SESSION SESSIONS

10 24 36 48 60 72

| | | | | |

LIFE-GIVING LIFE-GIVING LIFE-GIVING LIFE-GIVING LIFE-GIVING LIFE-GIVING

FRIENDSHIPS MARRIAGE FAITH GENEROSITY MINISTRY MISSION

APPENDICES

84 87 90 91 93 95 96

| | | | | | |

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS LIFEGROUP AGREEMENT LIFEGROUP CALENDAR WEEKLY CHECK IN MEMORY VERSE CARDS (CLIP AND REVIEW) PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT LIFEGROUP ROSTER

LIFEGROUP LEADERS

97 98 99 102

| | | |

HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE LEADING FOR THE FIRST TIME LEADERSHIP TRAINING 101 NOTES

INTRODUCTION

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE LIFE-GIVING? When you think of the term â&#x20AC;&#x153;life-givingâ&#x20AC;? it just sounds refreshing. What images come to mind? Think of things like happiness, peace, unconditional love, energizing, supporting, accepting, forgiving. The opposite of life-giving would be life-taking, draining, exhausting, shame-based, turmoil, sadness, dysfunctional, conditional. Unfortunately, that list of negative things describes some of your current relationships. But, before you look down your noses at others, you also have to look at yourselves. What are you bringing to the equation?

The truth is every one of us is broken. People have a fallen nature that started back with Adam and Eve in the Garden. The Good News is that Jesus came to bring life to the spiritually dead. Apart from God, everyone is spiritually dead. Some have found this abundant life Jesus promised. Others might still be searching for it. For human beings to have life-giving anything, they have to have a relationship with the Giver of Life, Jesus Himself. Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). The Message translation reads, “I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” Isn’t that what you want? More and better life than you ever dreamed of? That sounds pretty good. But, everyone wrestles with a tension. For the believer, you are connected to God, but you also continue to be human. These two entities constantly challenge each other – your old self and your new self – your spiritual self and your natural self. Now, please don’t misunderstand, the struggle should be there. If there’s no struggle that just means you’ve given up. The Bible says, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24). Which side is winning the war? Which side is getting the most support from your friendships? While there are no perfect people, it’s your choice to allow in the people who will encourage you in the right direction and support you in taking the right steps. Are you ready to embrace life? God wants you to experience abundance in your friendships, your marriage, your faith, your generosity, your ministry, and your mission. It’s possible.

using this workbook

(Tools to Help You Have a Great LifeGroup Experience!)

Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: (1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) LifeGroup Leaders. Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will be used in the sessions themselves.

If you are facilitating/leading or co-leading a LifeGroup, the section LifeGroup Leaders, will give you some experiences of others that will encourage you. It will also help you avoid many common obstacles to effective LifeGroup leadership.

Use this workbook as a guide, not a straitjacket. If the group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the LifeGroup Leaders section.

4 5

Enjoy your LifeGroup experience. Pray before each sessionâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for your group members, for your time together, and for wisdom and insights.

Read the outline for each session on the next pages so that you understand how the sessions will flow.

outline of each session A typical group session for the Life-Giving Relationships study will include the following sections. Read through this to get a clear idea of how each group meeting will be structured: WEEKLY MEMORY VERSES. Each session opens with a Memory Verse that emphasizes an important truth from the session. This is an optional exercise, but we believe that memorizing scripture can be a vital part of filling our minds with Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Word for our lives. We encourage you to give this important habit a try. The verses for our six sessions are also listed in the Appendices. INTRODUCTION. Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject you will explore with your group. Make it a practice to read these before the session. You may want to have the group read them aloud. SHARE YOUR STORY. The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection with God and His family. You build that connection by sharing your story with a few people who really know you and who earn your trust. This section includes some simple questions to get you talkingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;letting you share as much or as little of your story as you feel comfortable doing. Each session typically offers you two options.

You can get to know your whole group by using the icebreaker question(s), or you can check in with one or two group members for a deeper connection and encouragement in your spiritual journey. HEAR GOD’S STORY. In this section, you’ll read the Bible and listen to a teaching, in order to hear God’s story and begin to see how His story aligns with yours. When the study directs you, you will watch a short teaching segment. You’ll then have an opportunity to read a passage of Scripture, and discuss both the teaching and the text. You won’t focus on accumulating information but on how you should live in light of the Word of God. We want to help you apply the insights from Scripture practically and creatively, from your heart as well as your head. At the end of the day, allowing the timeless truths from God’s Word to transform our lives in Christ should be our greatest aim. STUDY NOTES. This brief section provides additional commentary, background, or insights on the passage you’ll study in the Hear God’s Story section. CREATE A NEW STORY. God wants you to be a part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. This is where the Bible’s instructions to “be doers of the Word, not just hearers” (James 1:22) comes into play. Many people skip over this aspect of the Christian life because it’s scary, relationally awkward, or simply too much work for their busy schedules. But Jesus wanted all of His disciples to know Him personally, carry out His commands, and help outsiders connect with Him. This

doesn’t necessarily mean preaching on street corners. It could mean welcoming newcomers, hosting a short-term group in your home, or walking through this study with a friend. In this study, you’ll have an opportunity to go beyond Bible study to biblical living. This section will also have a question or two that will challenge you to live out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, and worshiping God. FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY. If you have time and want to dig deeper into more Bible passages about the topic at hand, we’ve provided additional passages and questions, which you can use either during the meeting or as homework. Your group may choose to read and prepare before each meeting in order to cover more biblical material. Or, group members can use the Additional Study section during the week after the meeting. If you prefer not to do homework, this section will provide you with plenty to discuss within the group. These options allow individuals or the whole group to expand their study while still accommodating those who can’t do homework or are new to your group. DAILY DEVOTIONS. Each week on the Daily Devotions pages, we provide Scriptures to read and reflect on between sessions. This provides you with a chance to slow down, read just a small portion of Scripture each day, and reflect and pray through it. You’ll then have a chance to journal your response to what you’ve read. Use this section to seek God on your own throughout the week. This time at home should begin and end with prayer. Don’t get in a hurry; take enough time to hear God’s direction.

SESSION ONE

LIFE-GIVING FRIENDSHIPS

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17

Most of us have a lot of different types of friends. There are old friends and new friends. There are fun friends and serious friends. And, there are friends that give life, and there are friends who drain us. What kind of friend are you? If you want life-giving friendships, then you need to be a life-giving friend. What does that look like? Life-giving friends encourage and add value to your life. They pick you up when you’re down. They love you, but they aren’t impressed with you. Are you that kind of friend? Do you want those kinds of friends? Wouldn’t it be great to have some life-giving friendships? It begins with learning how to be a life-giving friend. Let’s get started.

SHARE YOUR STORY

Each of us has a story. The events of our life—good, bad, wonderful, or challenging— have shaped who we are. God knows your story, and He intends to redeem it—to use every struggle and every joy to ultimately bring you to Himself. When we share our stories with others, we give them the opportunity to see God at work. When we share our stories, we also realize we are not alone— that we have common experiences and thoughts, and that others can understand what we are going through. Your story can encourage someone else, and telling it can lead to a path of freedom for you and for those with whom you share it.

OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER. This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to give you insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion. Before you start this first meeting, get contact information for every participant. Take time to pass around a copy of the LifeGroup Roster on page 96, a sheet of paper, or pass around your Study Guide opened to the LifeGroup Roster. Ask someone to make copies or type up a list with everyone’s information, and email it to the group during the week.

Then, begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking. • Who’s a friend you’re always glad to see? • Where do you feel the most accepted? • Whether your group is new or ongoing, it’s always important to reflect on and review your values together. On page 87 is a LifeGroup Agreement with the values we’ve found most useful in sustaining healthy, balanced groups. We recommend that you choose one or two values—ones you haven’t previously focused on or have room to grow in—to emphasize during this study. Choose ones that will take your group to the next stage of intimacy and spiritual health. • If your group is new, welcome newcomers. Introduce everyone— you may even want to have name tags for your first meeting. • We recommend you rotate host homes on a regular basis and let the hosts lead the meeting. Studies show that healthy groups rotate leadership. This helps to develop every member’s ability to shepherd a few people in a safe environment. Even Jesus gave others the opportunity to serve alongside Him (Mark 6:30-44). Look at the FAQs in the Appendices for additional information about hosting or leading the group. • The LifeGroup Calendar on page 90 is a tool for planning who will host and lead each meeting. Take a few minutes to plan hosts and leaders for your remaining meetings. Don’t skip this important step! It will revolutionize your group. If anyone is hesitant, simply tell them to think about it, and you’ll get back to them.

WATCH VIDEO SESSION 1 Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided at the end of this session to record key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

HEAR GOD’S STORY Read Proverbs 15:31-32. Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.

Read James 5:16. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

• What is a life-giving friendship?

• How well do you “heed correction”?

• According to James 5:16, what role does confession play in being healed?

• Why isn’t it enough just to confess to God?

STUDY NOTES Life-giving correction. Other translations use the term “good advice.” “Healed” as used in James. There are different types of healing – physical healing, spiritual healing, relational healing. Healed as used in James 5:16 leans more toward the meaning of relational healing and unity.

CREATE A NEW STORY God wants you to be part of His kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change—to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By starting with small, simple choices, we begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way—giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into Scripture, and challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God. In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned. • Who’s your 2:00 a.m. phone call? Whose 2:00 a.m. phone call are you? • Who are the five people you are closest to? Write down their names. • How do the five people you are closest to influence you? • What can you do this week to be a life-giving friend?

• Take a look at the Circles of Life diagram below and write the names of two or three people you know who need to know Christ. Commit to praying for God’s guidance and an opportunity to share with each of them. Perhaps they would be open to joining the group. Share your lists with the group so you can all be praying for the people you’ve identified.

CIRCLES OF LIFE DIAGRAM

FAMILY

(immediate or extended)

FAMILIAR

(neighbors, kid’s sports team, school and so forth... )

FUN

(gym, hobbies, hangouts)

FRIENDS

FIRM (work)

• Also consider someone—in this group or outside it—that you can begin going deeper with in an intentional way. This might be your mom or dad, a cousin, an aunt or uncle, a roommate, a college buddy, or a neighbor. Choose someone who might be open to “doing life” with you at a deeper level and pray about that opportunity. • This week, how will you interact with the Bible? Can you commit to spending time in daily prayer or study of God’s Word (use the Daily Devotions section to guide you)? Tell the group how you plan to follow Jesus this week, and then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges. • Commit together to taking a risk and going deeper in your group and in your relationships with each other. • Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 95. • Close your meeting with prayer.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time before the next meeting to dig into His Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own and jot your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations. Read Colossians 3:12-15. • What does it mean to be chosen by God? • When you look at the qualities of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, which one are you excelling at right now? Which one needs some work? • Who do you need to forgive?

Read Ephesians 4:29-32. • Unwholesome talk is contrasted with what is helpful for building others up. What would be considered unwholesome talk? What unwholesome talk are you prone to? • What are believers to get rid of? What are believers to do? How well are you doing in these areas? • Who is difficult for you to be kind or compassionate toward? Who is difficult for you to forgive?

DAILY DEVOTIONS DAY 1 Read 1 John 3:11. For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.

RESPOND: How is the level of love in your life lately?

DAY 2 Read 1 John 3:12-13. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you.

RESPOND: Who do you find yourself jealous of? Why?

DAY 3 Read 1 John 3:14. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death.

RESPOND: How is loving each other evidence of passing from death to life?

DAY 4 Read 1 John 3:15. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

RESPOND: Who do you feel hatred toward? Who do you have ill will against?

DAY 5 Read 1 John 3:16. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

RESPOND: What does it mean that Jesus laid down his life for you? Who would you lay down your life for?

DAY 6 Reflect on the verses from this past week, and use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

NOTES

SESSION TWO

LIFE-GIVING MARRIAGE

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:24-25

Marriage was God’s invention. Everything in creation was good, except for one thing, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). Adam had a relationship with God, but God recognized the need for someone else in Adam’s life. Humans are created for intimate companionship. Marriage is unlike any other human relationship. It’s a union. Marriage is two people becoming one. It’s not a 50/50 arrangement. Marriage requires 100% from both sides plus the presence and grace of God. But often marriage is misunderstood. Whether it’s from your approach to marriage or the models you were given growing up, marriage is work, but it’s certainly worthwhile work. How’s your marriage? Maybe you want to be married. Maybe you used to be married. Let’s learn together what it means to have a life-giving marriage.

SHARE YOUR STORY

As we said last week, when we share our stories with others, we give them the opportunity to see God at work. Your story is being shaped, even in this moment, by being part of this group. In fact, few things can shape us more than community. When we share our stories, we can encourage someone else, and learn. We experience the presence of God as He helps us be brave enough to reveal our thoughts and feelings.

OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER. This should be a brief, simple prayer in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion. Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking: • What’s your marital status - Married, Want to be Married, Used to be Married, Happily Single? • Whose marriage do you admire? Why? • In the last session we asked you to write some names in the Circles of Life diagram. Who did you identify as the people in your life who need to meet Jesus? Go back to the Circles of Life diagram on page 17 to help you think of various people you come in contact with on a regular basis, people who need to know Jesus more deeply. Consider ideas for action and make a plan to follow through on one of them this week.

WATCH VIDEO SESSION 2 Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided at the end of this session to record key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After you finish watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

HEAR GOD’S STORY Read Matthew 19:3. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

Read Colossians 3:18-19. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Read Ephesians 5:25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

• In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Why did God see loneliness as not good? • What does it mean to be “one flesh”? • What comes to mind when you hear the word “submission”? What are some positive aspects of submitting to each other in marriage? • Marriage is not 50/50, but requires 100% from both sides. What does that look like?

STUDY NOTES Pharisees. A Jewish sect distinguished by strict observance of the traditional and written law, and commonly held to have pretensions to superior sanctity. The word Pharisee is often equated with a self-righteous person. Made them male and female. This is a reference to the Creation account in Genesis 1:27. Two will become one flesh. This is another reference to the Creation account in Genesis 2:24.

CREATE A NEW STORY Read Proverbs 15:31-32. In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned. • How has marriage challenged you to grow spiritually? • What does it mean to “fight fair”?

• What should be the role of forgiveness in marriage? • Plan a time this week with your spouse to talk about your relationship. • Here are some simple ways to connect with God. Tell the group which one you plan to try this week, and talk about your progress and challenges when you meet next time. • Prayer. Commit to personal prayer and daily connection with God. You may find it helpful to write your prayers in a journal.

• Daily Devotions. The Daily Devotions provided in each session offers an opportunity to read a short Bible passage five days a week during the course of our study. In our hurry-up world, we often move too quickly through everything—even reading God’s Word! Slow down. Don’t just skim, but take time to carefully read and reflect on the passage. Write down your insights on what you read each day. Copy a portion of Scripture on a card and tape it somewhere in your line of sight, such as your car’s dashboard or the bathroom mirror. Or text it to yourself! Think about it when you sit at red lights or while you’re eating a meal. Reflect on what God is saying to you through these words. On the sixth day, summarize what God has shown you throughout the week. • Ask “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 95. • Close your meeting with prayer.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time before the next meeting to dig into His Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own and jot your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations. Read Genesis 2:24-25. • What does it mean to become one flesh? • What would it mean to feel no shame? • What promotes the disappearance of shame in a marriage?

Read Proverbs 18:22. • What makes for a good spouse? • How does marriage provide God’s favor? • What can you celebrate in your marriage that is good?

DAILY DEVOTIONS DAY 1 Read 1 Peter 3:7. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

RESPOND: What is the connection between how you treat your spouse and the state of your prayer life? Howâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your prayer life?

DAY 2 Read Hebrews 13:4. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

RESPOND: How are you protecting your marriage? When is your heart tempted to stray?

DAY 3 Read Ephesians 5:32-33. This is a profound mysteryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

RESPOND: What is the state of love and respect in your relationship?

DAY 4 Read Colossians 3:13. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

RESPOND: Who do you need to forgive? Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s holding you back?

DAY 5 Read 1 Corinthians 13:5. [Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

RESPOND: What is the quality of love in your marriage? What do you need to improve?

NOTES

SESSION THREE

LIFE-GIVING FAITH

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

What is faith? The word faith is used in a lot of different ways. Sometimes it is used to mean people of many religions. That’s not really the type of faith we’re talking about today. Some people think of faith as strong belief. They think that if you believe something hard enough, then it will come true. I don’t think that’s faith. It sounds more like wishful thinking to me. Sometimes you hear people talking about taking a blind leap of faith. A leap into what? I was taught to look before you leap. I don’t think any of these descriptions hit on what faith really is, especially life-giving faith. Faith, as it applies to the Christian life, is active. It’s not merely a set of platitudes etched in stone. And, life-giving faith is not a blind leap. You might feel like you’re taking a leap, but it’s an educated leap of faith. Life-giving faith is based on God’s promises. Let’s explore faith and God’s promises together. My hope is that if you don’t have faith, you will find it, and if you do have faith, that God will increase your faith! 36

SHARE YOUR STORY

Open your group with prayer. This should be a brief, simple prayer in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion. Sharing personal stories builds deeper connections among group members. Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking. • What do you think of when you hear the word “faith”? • Tell the group about a time in your life that required a lot of faith.

Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided at the end of this session to record key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section, and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

WATCH VIDEO SESSION 3

HEAR GODâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S STORY Use the following questions to guide your discussion of the teaching and stories you just experienced in the video and the Bible passage below.

Read Ephesians 3:20. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Read Philippians 4:6. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Read James 2:14-18. What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.

• How has God done more than you’ve asked or imagined in your life? • How has God given you peace when you were in the middle of trouble? • How can prayer and giving thanks bring God’s peace into your life?

STUDY NOTES Do not be anxious about anything. Literally, “stop worrying.” Prayer, Petition, Requests. Prayer is a conversation with, a plea directed to, a request made of, and information given to the supreme Person of the universe, who can hear, know, understand, care about, and respond to the concerns that otherwise would sink people in despair. You have faith; I have deeds. The author’s point is that faith and works are compatible. If someone has faith, it will be demonstrated in what they do and how they live. Faith, however, cannot be earned. No amount of works can compensate for a lack of faith.

CREATE A NEW STORY God wants you to be part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way by giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into Scripture, and challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God. In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned in this session. • How do you increase your faith? • How do your actions and attitudes reflect your faith? How do they betray your worry? • What are you worried about right now? Bring these worries to your prayer time at the end of today’s meeting. 41

• If you are worried about something, then take this challenge. Every time that worry comes up this week, tell yourself out loud to “Stop” and then read Philippians 4:6-7 to yourself. Do this every time you start to worry, even if it’s less than an hour later. • What steps will you take this week to grow in your relationship with God? If you’ve focused on prayer in past weeks, maybe you’ll want to direct your attention to Scripture this week. If you’ve been reading God’s Word consistently, perhaps you’ll want to take it deeper, and try memorizing a verse. Tell the group which one you plan to try this week, and talk about your progress and challenges when you meet next time. • Ask “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 95. • Close your meeting with prayer.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time before the next meeting to dig into His Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own and jot your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations. Read Hebrews 11:6. • How do people attempt to please God without faith? • What are the two things a person must believe to please God? • What does it mean to earnestly seek something? How earnestly are you seeking God?

Read Ephesians 2:1-10. • What is natural to human beings? • What level of struggle do you have with gratifying the cravings of the flesh? • How do you see yourself as God’s handiwork? What work has He given you to do?

DAILY DEVOTIONS DAY 1 Read Matthew 24:35. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

RESPOND: What do you have certainty of?

DAY 2 Read Ephesians 2:8-9. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.

RESPOND: When are you tempted to work for God’s favor?

DAY 3 Read John 10:10. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

RESPOND: What level of abundance are you experiencing in your life right now? Why?

DAY 4 Read Colossians 2:6-7. So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

RESPOND: What is the strength of your faith and the overflow of your thankfulness?

DAY 5 Read John 14:6. Jesus answered, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

RESPOND: Why is it crucial to remember that life-giving faith is rooted in Jesus?

NOTES

SESSION FOUR

LIFE-GIVING GENEROSITY

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7

We live in a world of material excess. Have you ever told your kids about the old days when the internet and smart phones didn’t exist? It’s a wonder that any of us even survived! We live in a world filled with stuff. In fact, one of the leading industries in our time is the mini-storage. They’re popping up everywhere. Apparently, our garages are full, so now we need to rent another garage to store our stuff. But I don’t want to get hung up on accumulating stuff. Stuff is not good or bad. But, it’s also not life-giving. Think about it this way, if stuff could make us happy, well, we should all be happy. But, stuff doesn’t make us happy, at least not long term. Generosity is bigger than stuff or money. Generosity is a heart impulse. Generosity involves all that we possess – our talent, our treasure, and our time. And, it’s not just our time, it’s also our attention. Talk about a hot commodity! In fact, nowadays most people would rather write a check than devote their time to something. But hoarding what we have is not life-giving. Let’s explore the benefits of generosity and discover life-giving generosity. 48

SHARE YOUR STORY

Open your group with prayer. This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion. As we have said in previous lessons, sharing our personal stories builds deeper connections among group members. Your story may be exactly what another person needs to hear, and listening to others’ stories is an act of love and kindness to them—and could very well help them to grow spiritually. Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking. • What is your relationship with stuff – too much, just right, or not enough? • Who do you know that you would say is a generous person? How are they generous? • Share one prayer request and one thing you want to thank God for. Spend some time praying about what you’ve shared. (See Share Your Story in Session Two on page 25.) • Take some time for each person to share about how they’re doing on the challenge of inviting the people on the Circles of Life diagram on page 17, to church or your LifeGroup. What specific conversations are you praying about for the weeks to come?

WATCH VIDEO SESSION 4 Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided at the end of this session to record key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve watched the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story section, and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions, and direct the discussion.

HEAR GOD’S STORY Read John 10:10. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Read Matthew 25:23-29. “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’ His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. ‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.

• Do you live your life from the perspective of abundance or scarcity? Why? • How well are you managing what God has given you – your time, talent, and treasure? • According to the parable, what is the relationship between giving and abundance? • How is generosity the antidote for materialism? 51

STUDY NOTES Master. In reading this passage, you must remember that the Bible is written for us, but it wasn’t written to us. There is a historical and cultural context. What Jesus said to the hearers of this parable was understood by and familiar to the audience. Slavery was common in the Roman empire. Slavery is evil, but it was part of the culture of the time. In using a reference to a “master,” Jesus is not condoning slavery in any way. Bag of gold. Literally, a talent. This unit of currency was equivalent to 6,000 denarii, which was about a day’s wages for a common laborer. The reader could think of a single talent or single bag of gold with the same ramifications of receiving $1 million. Wicked, lazy servant. The master used this description of the servant because of his bad stewardship and unwillingness to turn a profit on what he was entrusted out of his fear of the master. There was much at stake being handed a bag of gold or $1 million, but the stakes were even higher by not investing the sum.

CREATE A NEW STORY • How is an abundant life tied to generosity?

• How easy or difficult is it for you to be generous? Why?

• What in your life gets in the way of being more generous?

• When you think about your stuff, your time, and your attention, what is something you could give that would truly help someone?

• Are you a cheerful giver? Why or why not?

• Each of you in the group has different gifts and abilities. And every LifeGroup has tasks and roles that need to be done. How could you serve this group—perhaps with hospitality or prayer, by organizing an event, research or study of a topic, or inviting new people?

• Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation: to come to a church service, to join your LifeGroup, or even to just have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind people you can pray for.

• Groups grow closer when they serve together. How could your group serve someone in need? You may want to visit those who are homebound from your church, provide a meal for a family who is going through difficulty, or give some other practical help to someone in need. If nothing comes to mind, spend time praying and asking God to show you who needs your help. Have two or three group members organize a serving project for the group, and then do it!

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time before the next meeting to dig into His Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own and jot your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations. Read Matthew 6:19-24. • What is the difference between hoarding and saving? • When have you faced a setback from a financial or material loss? Looking back, what do you wish you had done instead? • Why does Jesus call money a master?

Read 1 John 3:16-18. • How can you lay down your life for your brothers and sisters in Christ? • Who do you know that’s having financial trouble? How could you help them? • What’s the difference between loving with words or speech and loving with action and in truth?

DAILY DEVOTIONS DAY 1 Read Proverbs 11:25. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

RESPOND: How are you refreshing others?

DAY 2 Read Matthew 10:8. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.

RESPOND: What have you freely received?

DAY 3 Read Hebrews 12:1-2. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

RESPOND: What do you need to throw off? Keep running!

DAY 4 Read Proverbs 6:1-5. My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, if you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger, you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth. So do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands: Go—to the point of exhaustion—and give your neighbor no rest. Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids. Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

RESPOND: Why should you work to the point of exhaustion to free yourself from a financial pledge to another?

DAY 5 Read 2 Corinthians 9:7-9. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.”

RESPOND: Are you abounding in every good work? Why or why not?

NOTES

SESSION FIVE

LIFE-GIVING MINISTRY

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24

Ministry done right is life-giving. Life-giving ministry is tied to your purpose, your passions, your talents, and your gifts. Let’s face it, there are things we jump out of bed to do, and then there are things we have to drag ourselves out of bed to do. You know what I mean. We’ve all had those jobs or experiences. Life-giving ministry more closely aligns with what you would jump out of bed to do. Have you found yours? Ministry comes from the overflow of what we’ve received from God. After all, we can’t give what we haven’t received, right? For the believer, God has given His love, His grace, and His compassion. One of the most precious verses in the Bible says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Regardless of whether we chose to accept or reject God’s free gift of salvation, God provided the way by allowing His only Son to die in our place. That’s how much God loves you.

SHARE YOUR STORY

Open your group with prayer. This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion. Telling our personal stories builds deeper connections among group members. Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking. Sharing our stories requires us to be honest. We can help one another be honest and open by creating a safe place; be sure that your group is one where confidentiality is respected, where there is no such thing as “stupid questions,” and where you listen without criticizing one another. • What do you jump out of bed to do? • What do you have to drag yourself out of bed to do? • How well does your current ministry role align with what you love to do? Why?

WATCH VIDEO SESSION 5 Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided at the end of this session to record any key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After you finish watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story section, and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions, and direct the discussion.

HEAR GOD’S STORY Read Matthew 22:37-39. Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Read 1 Peter 4:8-11. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

• Why do you think Jesus chose these two commandments out of 613 commandments? • What does it mean to love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength? • What does it mean to love your neighbor as yourself? How do you love yourself? • Do you know your spiritual gifts? What are they? (Lists of spiritual gifts appear in Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12, and Ephesians 4).

STUDY NOTES Love the Lord your God. Known as being part of the Hebrew Shema, this command originally appears in Deuteronomy 6:5. Love your neighbor as yourself. This is a reference to Leviticus 19:18. Hospitality. This word is derived from two Greek words: phileo (brotherly love) and xenon (stranger) meaning to treat a stranger as a friend. Gifts. The term for spiritual gifts, charismata, literally means â&#x20AC;&#x153;grace gifts.â&#x20AC;?

CREATE A NEW STORY God wants you to be part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way—giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into Scripture, and challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God. In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned in this lesson.

• What do you do well? (If the group knows each other fairly well, then tell each other what you’ve noticed they’re good at.) • Do you know your neighbors? Use the space below to draw your house, then the houses of your next door neighbors and your neighbors across the street. Write your neighbors’ names in the spaces.

• How can you connect with one of your neighbors this week? • If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do for God? • Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation: to come to a church service, to join your LifeGroup, or even just to have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind people you can pray for. • A strong group is made up of people who are all being filled up by God, so that they are empowered to love one another. What specific steps will you take this week to connect with God privately, so He can “fill you up?” If you’ve focused on prayer in past weeks, maybe you’ll want to direct your attention to Scripture this week. If you’ve been reading God’s Word consistently, perhaps you’ll want to take it deeper and try memorizing a verse. Tell the group which one you plan to try this week. Then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges. • Ask “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise Report on page 95. • Close your meeting with prayer.

Read Galatians 6:2-5. • How do you balance carrying each others’ burdens and each one carrying their own load? • How easy or difficult is it for someone to think they are something they are not? • How can you be self-aware without comparing yourself to others?

Read John 13:1-17. • Why did Jesus wash His disciples feet? • What does Jesus mean for believers to wash each others’ feet? • What is Jesus’ concept of greatness as revealed in this passage?

DAILY DEVOTIONS DAY 1 Read Romans 12:1. Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

RESPOND: How is your body a living sacrifice? What else do you need to surrender?

DAY 2 Read Matthew 20:28. Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

RESPOND: How is the level of service in your life right now? Think about your family, your work, your church, and other places you’re involved.

DAY 3 Read Colossians 3:23-24. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

RESPOND: What happens when you regard your work as working for God?

DAY 4 Read Hebrews 10:24. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

RESPOND: How do you need to be spurred toward love and good deeds?

DAY 5 Read John 13:34-35. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

RESPOND: Why do you think love is the distinguishing characteristic of being one of Jesus’ disciples?

NOTES

SESSION SIX

LIFE-GIVING MISSION

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 1 Peter 3:15b

As believers, Jesus has placed us on a life-giving mission on this earth. Jesus said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:18-20). The world needs what you have. Our life-giving mission is to bring life to those who are spiritually dead and who live in darkness. This isn’t to sound creepy or difficult. Anyone without Jesus is spiritually dead and walks in darkness. Some of them are actually really nice, but they won’t have freedom or peace without Jesus. Your mission is to show people how to find true happiness and peace in their lives. Doesn’t that sound like a good mission?

SHARE YOUR STORY

Open your group with prayer. This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion. As we have said in previous lessons, sharing our personal stories builds deeper connections among group members. Your story may be exactly what another person needs to hear to encourage or strengthen them. And listening to others’ stories is an act of love and kindness to them—and could very well help them to grow spiritually. Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking. • What has surprised you most about this group? Where did God meet you over the last five weeks? • What do you believe is your mission in this world? • What has God been showing you through these sessions? What positive changes has your group noticed in you? Check in with each other about the progress you have made in your spiritual growth during this study. Make plans about whether you will continue your relationship after the group has concluded. • Take some time for each person to share about how they’ve done with inviting the people on the Circles of Life diagram to church or your LifeGroup. What specific conversations are you praying about for the weeks to come?

WATCH VIDEO SESSION 6 Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided at the end of this session to record any key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After you finish watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story section, and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions, and direct the discussion.

HEAR GOD’S STORY Read Matthew 28:18-20. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Read 1 Peter 3:15. But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

• What two statements does Jesus say about Himself in Matthew 28:18-20? • What does it mean to you that your mission to make disciples is accompanied by Jesus’ power and presence? • How does not knowing your mission affect how you live your life? • Who was influential in your decision to follow Christ?

STUDY NOTES All nations. The Greek word used here has a meaning broader than nations. It refers to all ethnic groups or people groups. The very end of the age. The end of the age will be marked by the return of Christ. Jesusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; presence will continue with His disciples until the end. Revere Christ as Lord. Revering Christ in this context denotes a respect for Christ above oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fear of giving a reason for the hope they have.

CREATE A NEW STORY How has God changed your story during this six-week study? What new things is He asking you to do? What truth has transformed your heart? Think about specific steps you want to take to live a new story, to walk more closely with God so you can be part of His story and engaged in His Kingdom. On a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable are you in telling someone about your relationship with Jesus? One is completely uncomfortable and 10 is perfectly comfortable. • What is intimidating about sharing your hope with someone? • Write down the elevator version (60-90 seconds) of your story of how you came to Christ. • Tell the group how you came to Christ. If you haven’t yet chosen to follow Christ, then tell the group that. • Since this is the last meeting in this study, take some time to celebrate the work God has done in the lives of group members. Have each person in the group share some step of growth they have noticed in another member. (In other words, no one will talk about themselves. Instead, affirm others in the group.) Make sure each person gets affirmed and noticed and celebrated in some way.

• If your group still needs to make decisions about continuing to meet after this session, have that discussion now. Talk about what you will study, who will lead, and when you will meet. • Review your LifeGroup Agreement on page 87 and evaluate how well you met your goals. Discuss any changes you want to make as you move forward. If you plan to continue to meet, and your group starts a new study, this is a great time to take on a new role or change roles of service in your group. What new role will you take on? If you are uncertain, maybe your group members have some ideas for you. Remember you aren’t making a lifetime commitment to the new role; it will only be for a few weeks. Maybe someone would like to share a role with you if you don’t feel ready to serve solo. • Close by praying for your prayer requests and take a couple of minutes to review the praises you have recorded over the past six weeks on the Prayer and Praise Report on page 95. Spend some time thanking God for all He’s done in your group during this study.

Read Acts 26:1-32. • What common ground did Paul find with King Agrippa as he started his answer? How significant is it to find common ground with someone before you share your testimony? • Why did Festus think Paul was out of his mind (verse 24)? • Was it a mistake for Paul to appeal to Caesar? Why or why not?

Read Acts 1:8 and Acts 8:1. • Where did Jesus tell His disciples to be witnesses? • What are the personal implications for you when you consider the locations Jesus gave His disciples? • According to Acts 8:1, how did the disciples happen to arrive at the locations Jesus directed them to?

DAILY DEVOTIONS DAY 1 Read Proverbs 19:23. The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.

RESPOND: How have you experienced the fear of the Lord leading to life?

DAY 2 Read Romans 5:8. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

RESPOND: What does God’s initiative mean to you personally?

DAY 3 Read Acts 16:31. They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”

RESPOND: How is your family affected by your faith?

DAY 4 Read 2 Peter 1:3. His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

RESPOND: How are you applying Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s power to your life?

DAY 5 Read Psalm 66:16. Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.

RESPOND: Who do you need to tell what He has done for you?

NOTES

APPENDICES

RESOURCES TO MAKE YOUR LIFEGROUP EXPERIENCE EVEN BETTER!

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS WHAT DO WE DO ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF OUR GROUP? Like all fun things in life—have a party! A “get to know you” coffee, dinner, or dessert is a great way to launch a new study. You may want to review the LifeGroup Agreement (pages 75-77) and share the names of a few friends you can invite to join you. But most importantly, have fun before your study time begins. WHERE DO WE FIND NEW MEMBERS FOR OUR GROUP? This can be troubling, especially for new groups that have only a few people or for existing groups that lose a few people along the way. We encourage you to pray with your group and then brainstorm a list of people from work, church, your neighborhood, your children’s school, family, the gym, and so forth. Then have each group member invite several of the people on his or her list. No matter how you find members, it’s vital that you stay on the lookout for new people to join your group. All groups tend to go through healthy attrition—the result of moves, releasing new leaders, ministry opportunities, etc.—and if the group gets too small, it could be at risk of shutting down. If you and your group stay open, you’ll be amazed at the people God sends your way. The next person just might become a friend for life. You never know! 84

HOW LONG WILL THIS GROUP MEET? Most groups meet weekly for at least their first six weeks, but every other week can work as well. We strongly recommend that the group meets for the first six months on a weekly basis if at all possible. This allows for continuity, and if people miss a meeting they aren’t gone for an entire month. At the end of this study, each group member may decide if he or she wants to continue on for another study. Some groups launch relationships for years to come, and others are stepping-stones into another group experience. Either way, enjoy the journey! CAN WE DO THIS STUDY ON OUR OWN? Absolutely! This may sound crazy, but one of the best ways to do this study is not with a full house, but with a few friends. You may choose to gather with another couple who would enjoy some relational time (perhaps going to the movies or having a quiet dinner) and then walking through this study together. Jesus will be with you even if there are only two of you (Matthew 18:20). WHAT IF THIS GROUP IS NOT WORKING FOR US? You’re not alone! This could be the result of a personality conflict, life stage difference, geographical distance, level of spiritual maturity, or any number of things. Relax. Pray for God’s direction, and at the end of this six-week study, decide whether to continue with this group or find another. You don’t typically buy the first car you look at or marry the first person you date, and the same goes with a group. However, don’t bail out before the study is up—God might have something to teach you. Also, don’t run from conflict or prejudge people before you have given them a chance. God is still working in your life, too!

WHO IS THE LEADER? Most groups have an official leader. But ideally, the group will mature and members will rotate the leadership of meetings. Healthy groups usually rotate hosts/leaders and homes on a regular basis. This model ensures that all members grow, give their unique contribution, and develop their gifts. This study guide and the Holy Spirit can keep things on track even when you rotate leaders. Christ has promised to be among you as you gather. Ultimately, God is your leader each step of the way. HOW DO WE HANDLE THE CHILDCARE NEEDS IN OUR GROUP? Very carefully. Seriously, this can be a sensitive issue. We suggest that you empower the group to openly brainstorm solutions. You may try one option that works for a while and then adjust over time. One approach is for adults to meet in the living room or dining room and to share the cost of a babysitter (or two) who can watch the kids in a different part of the house. This way, parents donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to be away from their children all evening when their children are too young to be left at home. A second option is to use one home for the kids and a second home (close by or a phone call away) for the adults. A third idea is to rotate the responsibility of providing a lesson or care for the children either in the same home or in another home nearby. This can be an incredible blessing for kids. Finally, the most common solution is to decide that you need to have a night to invest in your spiritual lives individually or as a couple and to make your own arrangements for childcare. No matter what decision the group makes, the best approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem and the solution.

LIFEGROUP AGREEMENT

OUR PURPOSE To provide an environment where participants experience authentic community and spiritual growth.

OUR VALUES GROUP ATTENDANCE To give priority to the group meeting. We will call, text, or email if we will be late or absent. (Completing the LifeGroup Calendar on page 90 will minimize this issue.) SAFE ENVIRONMENT To help create a safe place where people can be heard and feel loved. (Please, no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes.) RESPECT DIFFERENCES To be gentle and gracious to fellow group members with different levels of spiritual maturity, personal opinions, temperaments, or “imperfections.” We are all works in progress. CONFIDENTIALITY To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and within the group and to avoid sharing improper information about those outside the group. ENCOURAGEMENT FOR GROWTH To be not just takers but givers of life. We want to spiritually multiply our life by serving others with our God-given gifts.

SHARED OWNERSHIP To remember that every member is a minister and to ensure that each attender will share a small team role or responsibility over time. ROTATING HOSTS/LEADERS AND HOMES To encourage different people to host the group in their homes and to rotate the responsibility of facilitating each meeting. (See the LifeGroup Calendar on page 90.)

OUR EXPECTATIONS • Refreshments/mealtimes _____________________________

• Childcare __________________________________________

• When we will meet (day of week) ______________________

• Where we will meet (place) ___________________________

• We will begin at (time) ___________ and end at __________

• We will do our best to have some or all of us attend a worship service together. Our primary worship service time will be ________________________________________

• Date of this agreement _______________________________

• Date we will review this agreement again ________________

• Who (other than the leader) will review this agreement at the end of this study _______________________________________

LIFEGROUP CALENDAR Planning and calendaring can help ensure the greatest participation at every meeting. At the end of each meeting, review this calendar. Be sure to include a regular rotation of host homes and leaders, and don’t forget birthdays, socials, church events, holidays, and mission/ ministry projects. DATE

1/ 15

LESSON

HOST HOME

DESSERT/MEAL

Steve and Laura’s

Joe

LEADER

Bill

WEEKLY CHECK-IN Briefly check in each week and write down your personal plans and progress targets for the next week (or even for the next few weeks). This could be done before or after the meeting, on the phone, through an email message, or even in person from time to time. MY NAME: PARTNERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NAME: OUR PLAN

OUR PROGRESS

MEMORY VERSE CARDS

SESSION ONE A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17

SESSION TWO That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:24-25

SESSION THREE Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

SESSION FOUR Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7

SESSION FIVE And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24

SESSION SIX Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. 1 Peter 3:15b

CLIP AND REVIEW THE MEMORY VERSES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS PAGE.

PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT SESSION 1 PRAYER REQUEST:

PRAISE REPORT:

SESSION 2 PRAYER REQUEST:

PRAISE REPORT:

SESSION 3 PRAYER REQUEST:

PRAISE REPORT:

SESSION 4 PRAYER REQUEST:

PRAISE REPORT:

SESSION 5 PRAYER REQUEST:

PRAISE REPORT:

SESSION 6 PRAYER REQUEST:

PRAISE REPORT:

NAME

ADDRESS

PHONE

LIFEGROUP ROSTER

LIFEGROUP LEADERS Key resources to help your leadership experience be the best it can be.

HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE If you’re starting a new group, try planning an “open house” before your first formal group meeting. Even if you have only two to four core members, it’s a great way to break the ice and to consider prayerfully who else might be open to joining you over the next few weeks. You can also use this kick-off meeting to hand out study guides, spend some time getting to know each other, discuss each person’s expectations for the group and briefly pray for each other. A simple meal or good desserts always make a kick-off meeting more fun. After people introduce themselves, have everyone respond to a few icebreaker questions: • What is your favorite family vacation? • What is one thing you love about your church/our community? • What are three things about your life growing up that most people here don’t know? Next, ask everyone to tell what he or she hopes to get out of the study. You might want to review the LifeGroup Agreement and talk about each person’s expectations and priorities. Finally, set an open chair (maybe two) in the center of your group and explain that it represents someone who would enjoy or benefit from this group but who isn’t here yet. Ask people to pray about inviting someone to join the group over the next few weeks. Hand out postcards and have everyone write an invitation or two. Don’t worry about ending up with too many people; you can always have one discussion circle in the living room and another in the dining room after you watch the lesson. Each group could then report prayer requests and progress at the end of the session. You can skip this kick-off meeting if your time is limited, but you’ll experience a huge benefit if you take the time to connect with each other in this way. 97

LEADING FOR THE FIRST TIME • Sweaty palms are a healthy sign. The Bible says God is gracious to the humble. Remember who is in control; the time to worry is when you’re not worried. Those who are soft in heart (and sweaty palmed) are those whom God is sure to speak through. • Seek support. Ask your leader, co-leader, or close friend to pray for you and prepare with you before the session. Walking through the study beforehand will help you anticipate potentially difficult questions and discussion topics. • Bring your uniqueness to the study. Lean into who you are and how God wants you to uniquely lead the study. • Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Consider writing in a journal or fasting for a day to prepare yourself for what God wants to do. Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare. • Ask for feedback. Perhaps in an email or on cards handed out at the study, have everyone write down three things that went well and one thing that could be improved on. Don’t get defensive. Instead, show an openness to learn and grow. • Prayerfully consider launching a new group. This doesn’t need to happen overnight, but God’s heart is for this to take place over time. Not all Christians are called to be leaders or teachers, but we are all called to be shepherds of a few someday. • Share with your group what God is doing in your heart. God is searching for those whose hearts are fully His. Share your trials and victories. We promise that people will relate. • Prayerfully consider who you would like to pass the baton to the next week. It’s only fair. God is ready for the next member of your group to go on the faith journey you just traveled. Make it fun, and expect God to do the rest.

LEADERSHIP TRAINING 101 Congratulations! You have responded to the call to help shepherd Jesus’ flock. There are few other tasks in the family of God that surpass the contribution you will be making. As you prepare to lead, whether it is one session or the entire series, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind. We encourage you to read these and review them with each new discussion leader before he or she leads. 1.

Remember that you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and He knew that you would be asked to lead your group. Remember that it is common for all good leaders to feel that they are not ready to lead. Moses, Solomon, Jeremiah and Timothy were all reluctant to lead. God promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you are leading for one evening, for several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve.

Don’t try to do it alone. Pray right now for God to help you build a healthy leadership culture. If you can enlist a co-leader to help you lead the group, you will find your experience to be much richer. This is your chance to involve as many people as you can in building a healthy group. All you have to do is call, and ask people to help. You’ll probably be surprised at the response.

Just be yourself. If you won’t be you, who will? God wants you to use your unique gifts and temperament. Don’t try to do things exactly like another leader; do them in a way that fits you! Just admit it when you don’t have an answer, and apologize when you make a mistake. Your group will love you for it, and you’ll sleep better at night!

Prepare for your meeting ahead of time. Review the session and the leader’s notes, and write down your responses to each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask group members to do something other than engage in discussion. These exercises will help your group live what the 99

Bible teaches, not just talk about it. Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper and pens) to your meeting. If the exercise employs one of the items, be sure to look over that item so you’ll know how it works. Finally, review Outline for Each Session on page 7 so you’ll remember the purpose of each section in the study. 5.

Pray for your group members by name. Before you begin your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for each member by name. You may want to review the prayer list at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person uniquely. Expect God to lead you to whomever He wants you to encourage or challenge in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead!

When you ask a question, be patient. Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or two of silence to think about the question. Keep in mind, if silence doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother anyone else. After someone responds, affirm the response with a simple “thanks” or “good job.” Then ask, “How about somebody else?” or “Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?” Be sensitive to new people or reluctant members who aren’t ready to say, pray, or do anything. If you give them a safe setting, they will blossom over time.

100

Provide transitions between questions. When guiding the discussion, always read aloud the transitional paragraphs and the questions. Ask the group if anyone would like to read the paragraph or Bible passage. Don’t call on anyone, but ask for a volunteer, and then be patient until someone begins. Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud.

Break up into smaller groups each week or they won’t stay. If your group has more than seven people, we strongly encourage you to have the group gather sometimes in discussion circles of three or four people during the Hear God’s Story or Create a New Story sections of the study.

With a greater opportunity to talk in a small circle, people will connect more with the study, apply more quickly what they’re learning, and ultimately get more out of it. A small circle also encourages a quiet person to participate and tends to minimize the effects of a more vocal or dominant member. It can also help people feel more loved in your group. When you gather again at the end of the section, you can have one person summarize the highlights from each circle. Small circles are also helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying aloud will feel more comfortable trying it with just two or three others. Also, prayer requests won’t take as much time, so circles will have more time to actually pray. When you gather back with the whole group, you can have one person from each circle briefly update everyone on the prayer requests. People are more willing to pray in small circles if they know that the whole group will still hear all the prayer requests. 9.

Rotate facilitators weekly. At the end of each meeting, ask the group who should lead the following week. Let the group help select your weekly facilitator. You may be perfectly capable of leading each time, but you will help others grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunities to lead. You can use the LifeGroup Calendar to fill in the names of all meeting leaders at once if you prefer.

10. One final challenge (for new or first time leaders): Before your first opportunity to lead, look up each of the five passages listed below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help yourself develop a shepherd’s heart. Trust us on this one. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first meeting. Matthew 9:36 1 Peter 5:2-4 Psalm 23 Ezekiel 34:11-16 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12 101

NOTES

102

NOTES

103

NOTES

104

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE LIFE-GIVING? When you think of the term “life-giving” it just sounds refreshing. What images come to mind? I think of things like happiness, peace, unconditional love, energizing, supporting, accepting, forgiving. I suppose the opposite of life-giving would be life-taking – draining, exhausting, shame-based, turmoil, sadness, dysfunctional, conditional. Unfortunately, that list of negative things describes some current relationships. But, before we look down our noses at others, we also have to look at ourselves. What are we bringing to the equation? The truth is every one of us is broken. We have a fallen nature that started back with Adam and Eve in the Garden. The Good News is that Jesus came to bring life to the spiritually dead. Apart from God, everyone is spiritually dead. Some of us have found this abundant life Jesus promised. Others might still be searching for it. For human beings to have life-giving anything, we have to have a relationship with the Giver of Life, Jesus Himself. Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). The Message translation reads, “I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” Isn’t that what you want? More and better life than you ever dreamed of? That sounds pretty good to me.

LIFE-GIVING SIX SESSIONS: Session One: Life-giving Friendships Session Two: Life-giving Marriage Session Three: Life-giving Faith Session Four: Life-giving Generosity Session Five: Life-giving Ministry Session Six: Life-giving Mission

God wants you to live an abundant life. It’s possible to find life-giving friendships, marriage, faith, generosity, ministry, and mission.

PASTOR BOB BECKLER

Pastor Bob Beckler has served in leadership roles as a business owner, teacher, coach, athletic director, and college campus pastor. Pastor Bob’s greatest passion is the pastoral ministry. “I love people and have a sincere compassion for them. I have seen what God has done for me and therefore have an urgency to share Him with others.” Pastor Bob became the Senior Pastor of Central Community Church, Wichita, Kansas, in May of 2013. Bob and his wife, Lori, have two adult married children and five grandchildren: Nicole and Aaron Varner (Landon and Harper), and Dan and Ellie Beckler (Peyton, Layla and Tate). Their greatest joy is spending time with family, traveling, and being at the lake.