PD-Life Together-Book by Lifetogether Ministries

A Personal Welcome from Rick Warren

Dear Friend,

I’m excited to welcome you to Purpose Driven Life Together—a journey toward bringing legacy families together around shared purpose and Kingdom impact.

After decades of ministry, I’ve observed that the most fulfilled families are those who move beyond success to significance by pursuing God’s purposes together. When family members align around shared values and mission, they experience deeper connection and lasting impact that transcends individual achievements.

This book builds on the foundation of The Purpose Driven Life by exploring how families can collectively live out God’s five purposes: worship, fellowship, discipleship, ministry, and mission. Throughout these pages, you’ll discover practical ways to cultivate these purposes within your family system and in collaboration with other legacy-minded families.

Purpose Driven Life Together addresses one of the greatest challenges facing affluent families today: maintaining unity and purpose across generations. You’ll learn strategies for developing a family mission statement, creating giving vehicles that involve multiple generations, and fostering spiritual formation that endures through life transitions.

Whether you’re leading your immediate family, managing family resources, or seeking to influence your extended family toward Kingdom priorities, this book provides a blueprint for bringing your family together around what matters most.

My prayer is that this journey will transform your family relationships and amplify your collective impact. May you experience the unique joy of seeing your family united in purpose, leveraging all that God has entrusted to you for eternal significance.

For such a time as this, Rick Warren

Chapter One: CREATED for Connection

WHY GOD MADE US FOR RELATIONSHIPS

The very first problem identified in the Bible wasn’t sin—it was solitude. Before the fall, before any moral failing, God looked at perfect, sinless Adam and declared, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

This profound statement reveals a fundamental truth about how God designed us: We were created for connection. You were never meant to go through life by yourself. You were made for relationship, community, and deep, meaningful connection with God and with other people.

Think about it: God himself exists as a community of three persons— Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—in perfect, loving relationship. When God created humans “in his image,” he created us with the same need for relationship that reflects his own nature.

You are most like your Creator not when you’re achieving or accomplishing things on your own, but when you’re living in loving community with others.

Point to Remember: You were made for relationships, not isolation.

THE C.O.N.N.E.C.T. PRINCIPLE OF RELATIONSHIPS

To understand God’s design for our relationships, let’s explore the C.O.N.N.E.C.T. principle that reveals why we truly are better together:

C - CREATED in God’s relational image

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)

God is not a solitary being. From eternity past, God has existed as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in perfect community. When he created humans in his

image, he designed us to reflect this relational nature. Your need for connection isn’t a weakness or a flaw—it’s a reflection of God’s own nature stamped into your spiritual DNA.

This is why even the most introverted among us still need meaningful relationships. It’s not about personality type; it’s about spiritual design. You may need fewer relationships than others, but you still need deep ones.

Life Application: What does it mean for your daily life that God designed you specifically for connection? How might recognizing relationship as part of God’s image in you change how you prioritize people?

O - ORCHESTRATED for interdependence

“The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’” (1 Corinthians 12:21)

God deliberately designed us to need each other. Just as your physical body has many parts that must work together, the body of Christ functions through our interdependence. None of us has all the gifts, perspectives, or resources needed for a complete life or effective ministry.

I’ve never met a person who had all the gifts. Have you? God ensures we need each other by distributing different gifts to different people. Your weaknesses are opportunities for others to use their strengths, and their weaknesses are opportunities for you to use your strengths.

Life Application: What are three ways you’ve benefited from others’ strengths in the past week? In what areas do others need the strengths God has given you?

N - NEEDED by every human being

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

The need for relationships isn’t just for some personality types—it’s universal. Research consistently shows that meaningful human connection is as essential to health as proper nutrition and exercise. People with strong social

ties live longer, recover from illness faster, and report higher levels of happiness and purpose.

Even Jesus, who had perfect communion with God the Father, surrounded himself with a community of disciples and friends. If the Son of God needed human relationships, how much more do we?

Life Application: On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the quality of your current relationships? What would need to change to move that number higher?

N - NURTURED through intentional effort

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Meaningful relationships don’t just happen automatically—they require intentional investment. Just as a garden needs regular attention to flourish, our connections with others need nurturing to grow deep and strong.

In our busy, distracted world, we must be more deliberate than ever about creating space for relationships. This means putting down our phones, creating margin in our schedules, learning to really listen, and being willing to be vulnerable.

The deepest relationships are forged through shared experiences, open communication, mutual support during difficulties, and consistent presence over time.

Life Application: What specific action could you take this week to nurture a key relationship in your life?

E - ESSENTIAL for spiritual growth

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

God designed spiritual growth to happen in community. While personal spiritual disciplines like prayer and Bible study are vital, they’re only part of the picture. We need others to encourage us, hold us accountable, provide perspective, and help us apply God’s truth.

Have you ever noticed how much of the New Testament is written in plural form? Most of the “you” statements are actually “you all” in the original lan-

guage. God’s instructions for spiritual growth assume we’re doing life together, not in isolation.

Life Application: How has someone else’s input helped your spiritual growth recently? Who might benefit from your encouragement in their spiritual journey?

C - CENTRAL to God’s plan for the church

“From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” (Ephesians 4:16)

The church was never meant to be a building or an event but a living community of people connected to each other through Christ. God’s design for the church is not a collection of spiritual lone rangers who happen to attend the same service but a tightly knit family that shares life together.

This is why small groups aren’t just a nice program but an essential expression of what the church was always meant to be—a place where we know others and are known, where we serve and are served, where we love and are loved.

Life Application: Beyond attending services, how are you currently experiencing genuine community in your church? What step could you take to deepen your connection?

T - TRANSFORMATIVE when authentic

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

The most powerful relationships aren’t those that stay comfortable and superficial but those where we’re real with each other. When we take off our masks and allow ourselves to be truly known—strengths and weaknesses, victories and struggles—we create space for God’s transforming work.

This kind of authentic connection requires courage. It means risking rejection, being willing to hear difficult truths, and stepping out of our comfort zones. But the payoff is extraordinary—healing, growth, and a depth of relationship that superficial connections can never provide.

Life Application: With whom can you be completely authentic about your life? What keeps you from being more transparent in your key relationships?

Point to Remember: Authentic connections don’t just enhance your life— they transform it.

WHY GOD NEVER MEANT FOR YOU TO WALK ALONE

When God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone,” he was establishing a principle that echoes throughout Scripture and throughout our lives. Let me share five biblical reasons why God never intended for you to do life solo:

1. You need others’ PERSPECTIVE

No matter how spiritually mature you become, you’ll always have blind spots—areas where your perspective is limited or distorted. God uses the people around us to help us see what we can’t see on our own.

Proverbs 12:15 reminds us, “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Even the wisest among us needs the perspective of others to make good decisions and avoid pitfalls.

During a particularly difficult decision in my own life, I was convinced I knew the right path forward. But when I sought counsel from trusted friends, they helped me see factors I had completely missed. Their perspective saved me from what would have been a serious mistake.

2. You need others’ PROTECTION

God puts people in our lives to help guard us against temptation, poor choices, and the enemy’s attacks. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

This protection comes through accountability, wise counsel, timely warnings, and simply having others who know what’s going on in our lives. Many spiritual catastrophes could have been prevented if people hadn’t isolated themselves from the protection community provides.

3. You need others’ POWER

God distributes different gifts, talents, resources, and abilities to different people. When we connect with others, we gain access to strength and capacity we simply don’t have on our own.

Think about it: No one person has all the spiritual gifts. No one has unlimited energy, unlimited wisdom, or unlimited resources. But in community, the limits of our individual capacity are expanded exponentially.

This is the power of synergy—where the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts. What you can accomplish with others far exceeds what you could ever do alone.

4. You need others’ PRESENCE

God comforts, encourages, and strengthens us through human presence. When Paul was imprisoned, he didn’t just need God’s presence—though he

certainly had that. He also needed Timothy’s presence, which is why he wrote, “Do your best to come to me quickly” (2 Timothy 4:9).

There’s something powerfully healing about having someone physically present with us in our pain, confusion, celebration, and everyday moments. This is why Paul instructs us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).

5. You need others’ PARTNERSHIP

God’s purposes for your life aren’t meant to be fulfilled in isolation. The Great Commission wasn’t given to individuals but to the church collectively. The work of ministry requires partnership.

When Jesus sent out his disciples, he sent them “two by two” (Luke 10:1). Paul always ministered as part of a team. The early church grew through the collaborative efforts of many people using their gifts together.

Whatever God has called you to do, he hasn’t called you to do it alone. You need partners who share your vision, complement your gifts, and multiply your impact.

Point to Remember: Going alone isn’t just difficult—it’s contrary to God’s design for accomplishing his purposes.

FIVE RELATIONSHIP MYTHS THAT KEEP US ISOLATED

Despite our design for connection, many of us struggle to build deep relationships. Five common myths often keep us isolated:

Myth #1: “I don’t have time for deep relationships.”

Truth: You don’t have time NOT to invest in relationships.

We often treat relationships as a luxury to enjoy after our “real work” is done. But relationships aren’t just a nice addition to a productive life—they’re essential to it. Your effectiveness in every area—work, ministry, parenting, health—depends on the quality of your relationships.

Jesus was the busiest person who ever lived, with the most important mission in history. Yet he prioritized relationships, spending significant time with

his disciples, friends like Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, and even attending social gatherings like weddings.

Action Step: Look at your calendar for last week. How much time was intentionally devoted to building relationships? How could you rearrange priorities to reflect God’s value of connection?

Myth #2: “Needing others is a sign of weakness.”

Truth: Needing others is a sign of being human.

Our culture celebrates self-sufficiency and independence. We admire the “self-made” person who “doesn’t need anyone.” But this runs directly counter to how God designed us.

Even Jesus, in his humanity, expressed need. In the Garden of Gethsemane, he asked his disciples to stay and pray with him. On the cross, he entrusted his mother to John’s care. The Son of God demonstrated that expressing need isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

Action Step: Identify one need in your life that you’ve been reluctant to share with others. Practice the humility of asking for help this week.

Myth #3: “Relationships are too risky. I’ve been hurt before.”

Truth: Relationships are risky—and worth it.

There’s no denying that opening ourselves to others makes us vulnerable to hurt. Perhaps you’ve experienced betrayal, rejection, or disappointment in relationships. These wounds are real and shouldn’t be minimized.

But walls that protect us from pain also prevent us from receiving love. C.S. Lewis wisely noted, “To love at all is to be vulnerable... If you want to make sure of keeping your heart intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

Action Step: If past relational wounds are keeping you isolated, consider what step toward healing you might need to take—perhaps counseling, a recovery group, or an honest conversation with a trusted friend.

Myth #4: “I connect with others through social media, so I’m not isolated.”

Truth: Digital connections can’t replace face-to-face community. Technology has given us new ways to stay in touch, but studies consistently show that social media and digital communication don’t provide the same psy-

chological and spiritual benefits as in-person interaction. In fact, heavy social media use is often correlated with increased feelings of loneliness and isolation. We need to see facial expressions, hear voice tones, experience human touch, and share physical space to fully connect with others. These elements of communication can’t be replicated through a screen.

Action Step: Consider a digital fast for one day. Use the time you would have spent on social media or digital communication to connect with someone face-to-face.

Myth #5: “I’m fine on my own—I just need me and God.”

Truth: Even your relationship with God is designed to be nurtured in community.

Sometimes spirituality is used as an excuse for isolation: “I don’t need people; I just need God.” But this creates a false dichotomy. God typically works through people to help us grow spiritually.

Think about it: How did you come to faith? Most likely, some person shared the gospel with you. How do you understand Scripture? Often through teaching, books, or discussions led by others. How do you apply biblical truth? Frequently through the encouragement, accountability, and example of fellow believers.

God could have chosen to relate to each of us in isolation, but he created the church as the context in which we experience him most fully.

Action Step: Reflect on how other people have been instruments of God’s work in your life. Thank God for these relationships, and consider who might need you to be that instrument in their life.

Point to Remember: The myths that keep us isolated are powerful but not insurmountable when we embrace God’s truth about relationships.

BREAKING DOWN THE WALLS THAT SEPARATE US

Knowing we need relationships is one thing; building them is another. What practical steps can we take to break down the walls that keep us from the connections God designed us for?

1. Start with PRAYER

“Lord, show me where and with whom you want me to build deeper connections. Open my heart to the relationships you have for me. Give me courage to reach out and wisdom to invest in the right relationships.”

Knowing we need relationships is one thing; building them is another. What practical steps can we take to break down the walls that keep us from the connections God designed us for?

1. Start with PRAYER

God knows exactly who you need in your life and who needs you. Ask him to guide your relationship building.

2. Take the first STEP

Relationships don’t just happen; they require initiative. Romans 12:13 instructs us to “practice hospitality”—literally, the love of strangers. This takes courage and often means being the first to:

• Extend an invitation

• Ask a meaningful question

• Share something personal

• Express appreciation

• Apologize

• Offer help

The depth of your relationships will rarely exceed the depth of your initiative.

3. Create regular SPACE

Relationships need regular time and attention to grow. In our busy world, this means intentionally creating space for connection. Some practical ways to do this:

• Schedule regular coffee or meal dates with friends

• Join a small group that meets weekly

• Establish family rituals like device-free dinners

• Build margin into your schedule for spontaneous connection

• Use commute time for phone conversations instead of just podcasts

Remember: What gets scheduled gets done—including relationships.

4. Develop CONNECTION skills

Just as we develop skills for our careers, we need to develop relationship skills. These include:

• Asking good questions

• Listening actively

• Showing empathy

• Being vulnerable at appropriate times

• Resolving conflict in healthy ways

• Expressing appreciation

• Setting boundaries

If you feel your connection skills are weak, don’t be discouraged. Like any skill, these can be learned and improved with practice and guidance.

5. Embrace VULNERABILITY

Authentic connection requires vulnerability—the willingness to be seen as we really are, with our strengths and weaknesses, our victories and struggles.

Brené Brown, who has studied vulnerability extensively, defines it as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” It’s scary terrain, but as she notes, it’s also “the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”

Start with small acts of authenticity. Share a current struggle with a trusted friend. Admit when you don’t know something. Ask for help when you need it. Each small step builds your capacity for deeper connection.

Point to Remember: The walls that separate us from others didn’t appear overnight, and they won’t come down overnight. Breaking them down is a process that happens one intentional step at a time.

WHAT WILL YOUR RELATIONSHIP LEGACY BE?

Imagine you’re at the end of your life, looking back on the relationships you’ve built. What do you want to see? A rich tapestry of deep, meaningful connections that have shaped you and been shaped by you? Or a sparse landscape of missed opportunities and surface-level interactions?

The quality of your life will largely be determined by the quality of your relationships. Your impact will be multiplied or diminished by how well you connect with others. Your spiritual growth will accelerate or stagnate based on your level of authentic community.

The good news is that it’s never too late to strengthen your connections. Whether you’re reading this as a young adult with decades ahead, in midlife with established but perhaps shallow relationships, or in your later years wondering if you’ve missed your chance—today is a new opportunity to move toward the connections God designed you for.

Remember: You were created for connection. It’s woven into your spiritual DNA. When you pursue authentic relationships, you’re not just enhancing

your life—you’re fulfilling your design. You’re becoming more fully who God created you to be.

And that’s a legacy worth building—one relationship at a time.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

1. Of the seven C.O.N.N.E.C.T. principles, which one most resonated with you and why?

2. What relationship myths have had the greatest influence in your life? How have they affected your connections with others?

3. When have you experienced the power of authentic community? What made that experience different from other relationships in your life?

4. What walls have you built that might be keeping others at a distance? What first step could you take to begin breaking down those walls?

5. If you were to prioritize one relationship for growth in the coming month, which would it be and why?

GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Share a time when someone else’s perspective helped you see something you couldn’t see on your own.

2. What’s one challenge you’re currently facing where you need the support of others?

3. How comfortable are you with vulnerability in relationships? What makes vulnerability difficult for you?

4. What practical obstacles make it difficult for you to prioritize relationships in this season of life?

5. What’s one step you could take this week to deepen a key relationship in your life?

BETTER TOGETHER CHALLENGE

This week, take one specific action each day to strengthen your connections:

Day 1: Reach Out - Contact someone you’ve lost touch with but who was once important in your life.

Day 2: Listen Fully - Have a conversation where you focus completely on understanding the other person, not on formulating your response.

Day 3: Express Appreciation - Tell someone specifically how they’ve positively impacted your life.

Day 4: Be Vulnerable - Share something you’re struggling with to a trusted friend instead of handling it alone.

Day 5: Create Space - Invite someone to share a meal with you this week.

Day 6: Pray Together - Ask someone if you can pray with them about a concern in their life.

Day 7: Reflect and Plan - Review your experience this week and identify one relationship you want to intentionally develop in the coming month.

Memory Verse for the Week: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” —

Genesis 2:18

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LIFE TOGETHER PURPOSE DRIVEN RICK WARREN

Purpose Driven Life Together