Who Says - Vineyard Cincinnati church

UNLEARNING 5 THINGS THAT MIGHT BE HOLDING YOU BACK

VINEYARD CINCINNATI CHURCH

Unlearning Five Things

That Might Be Holding You Back

ROB KING

Copyright © 2018 by Rob King ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Published by Lifetogether Ministries Copyright and use of the curriculum template is retained by Brett Eastman.

Scripture quotes marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, IL. 60188.

Scripture quotes marked (NIV2011) are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 and 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

This study contains cited content taken from: THE BONDAGE BREAKER® Copyright © 1990/1993/2000 by Neil T. Anderson Published by Harvest House Publishers Eugene, Oregon 97408 www.harvesthousepublishers.com ISBN 978-1-950007-01-1 Printed in the United States of America

CONTENTS Introduction Using This Workbook Outline of Each Session

02 05 06

OUTLINE FOR EACH SESSION SESSION ONE: Who Says Your Grandma Was Right?

Unlearning – An Introduction

08

SESSION TWO: Who Says Everyone’s Opinion Matters?

Unlearning the Worst Lesson from Social Media

26

SESSION THREE: Who Says You Have to Go to Church?

Unlearning American Individualism

40

SESSION FOUR: Who Says Good People Go to Heaven?

Unlearning that Heaven is for Good People

54

SESSION FIVE: Who Says Pain Should Be Avoided?

Unlearning Comfort as the Goal

68

SESSION SIX: Who Says You Can’t Please God? Unlearning the Feeling that You’ll Never Measure Up

82

APPENDICES Frequently Asked Questions Life Group Agreement Life Group Calendar Spiritual Partners’ Check-In Memory Verse Cards (Clip and Review) Life Group Roster Prayer & Praise Report

98 100 101 102 105 107 108

LIFE GROUP LEADERS Hosting an Open House Leading for the First Time Leadership Training

112 113 114

Notes

117 W H O S AYS ? | 1

INTRODUCTION

T

hink of all the things you learned before you knew you were learning. You probably didn’t get out of your crib one day, stretch, and say, “Today, I will walk!” The fact that you can take smooth steps today and usually avoid tripping can be traced back to hours of

parental encouragement, painful failures accompanied by bumps, and bruises, and an inner drive to succeed at doing what others were doing around you.

That’s just one out of thousands of little actions and skills you learned along the way. When you were young you had to trust those in charge to steer you right. With those countless lessons came little bits of wisdom that have become part of the way you think. Some of these are wise, others are quirky, and some are, can we say it… wrong.

As we grow, life has a way of sifting all these values and ideas, but at a certain point, we begin to have to think about what we believe and “own” some of our cherished ways of looking at life.

The sessions in Who Says? are designed to create the space and conversation to help you think through what you believe and why you believe it. If these things are true, they can stand up to examination. If they prove to be false, it’s time to get a second opinion.

Life Groups are great and safe places to put our ideas on the table along with others and discover if they really make sense. In particular, we want to take a look at how what God says compares to what we believe. There’s never a dull moment when that is happening. Get ready to have some fun, enjoy great conversation, and to break free from things that might be holding you back!

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The combination of the weekend services and your weekly group time is going to be powerful. I’ll be preaching right along with the topics you are discussing and we’ll all have the momentum of knowing that several thousand of us are in this together. It’s going to be a great six weeks to kick off the year!

Let’s do this!

Rob King

W H O S AYS ? | 3

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USING THIS WORKBOOK TOOLS TO HELP YOU HAVE A GREAT SMALL GROUP EXPERIENCE! 1. Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: (1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) Life Group Leaders. Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will be used in the sessions themselves.

2. If you are facilitating/leading or co-leading a Life Group, the section Life Group Leaders will give you some experiences of others that will encourage you and help you avoid many common obstacles to effective Life Group leadership.

3. Use this workbook as a guide, not a straightjacket. If the group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the Life Group Leaders section.

4. Enjoy your Life Group experience.

5. Pray before each session—for your group members, for your time together, or wisdom and insights.

6. Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages so that you understand how the sessions will flow.

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OUTLINE OF EACH SESSION A TYPICAL GROUP SESSION FOR THE WHO SAYS? STUDY WILL INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING SECTIONS. Read through this to get a clear idea of how each group meeting will be structured:

WEEKLY MEMORY VERSES. Each session opens with a Memory Verse that emphasizes an important truth from the session. This is an optional exercise, but we believe that memorizing scripture can be a vital part of filling our minds with God’s will for our lives.

We encourage you to give this important habit a try. The verses for our five sessions are also listed in the appendix.

INTRODUCTION. Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject you will explore with your group. Make it a practice to read these before the session. You may want to have the group read them aloud.

SHARE YOUR STORY. The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection with God and His family. You build that connection by sharing your story with a few people who really know you and who earn your trust. This section includes some simple questions to get you talking—letting you share as much or as little of your story as you feel comfortable doing. Each session typically offers you two options. You can get to know your whole group by using the icebreaker question(s), or you can check in with one or two group members, your spiritual partner(s), for a deeper connection and encouragement in your spiritual journey.

HEAR GOD’S STORY. In this section, you’ll read the Bible and listen to teaching, in order to hear God’s story—and begin to see how His story aligns with yours. When the study directs you to, watch the short video teaching segment. You’ll then have an opportunity to read a passage of Scripture, and discuss both the teaching and the text. You won’t focus on accumulating information but on how you should live in light of the Word of God. We want to help you apply the insights from scripture practically and creatively, from your heart as well as your head. At the end of the day, allowing the timeless truths from God’s Word to transform our lives in Christ should be your greatest aim.

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STUDY NOTES. This brief section provides additional commentary, background or insights on the passage you’ll study in the Hear God’s Story section.

CREATE A NEW STORY. God wants you to be a part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way rather than your own.

This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. This is where the Bible’s instructions to “be doers of the Word, not just hearers” (James 1:22) comes into play. Many people skip over this aspect of the Christian life because it's scary, relationally awkward, or simply too much work for their busy schedules. But Jesus wanted all of His disciples to know Him personally, carry out His commands, and help outsiders connect with Him. This doesn't necessarily mean preaching on street corners. It could mean welcoming newcomers, hosting a short-term group in your home, or walking through this study with a friend. In this study, you’ll have an opportunity to go beyond Bible study to biblical living. This section will also have a question or two that will challenge you to live out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, and worshiping God.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY. If you have time and want to dig deeper into more Bible passages about the topic at hand, we've provided additional passages and questions, which you can use either during the meeting, or as homework. Your group may choose to read and prepare before each meeting in order to cover more biblical material. Or, group members can use the additional study section during the week after the meeting. If you prefer not to do study homework, this section will provide you with plenty to discuss within the group. These options allow individuals or the whole group to expand their study while still accommodating those who can’t do homework or are new to your group.

DAILY DEVOTIONS. Each week on the Daily Devotions pages, we provide scriptures to read and reflect on between sessions. This provides you with a chance to slow down, read just a small portion of scripture each day, and reflect and pray through it. You’ll then have a chance to journal your response to what you’ve read. Use this section to seek God on your own throughout the week. This time at home should begin and end with prayer. Don’t get in a hurry; take enough time to hear God’s direction.

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SESSION ONE

WHO SAYS YOUR GRANDMA WAS RIGHT? UNLEARNING—AN INTRODUCTION

T

his proverb

identify with one or the

statements we’ve heard.

pictures two

other of these two, let’s

There’s a better way!

very different

consider that we fall into

kinds of people,

both categories at times. All

In this session, we are

the thoughtless and the

of us have those moments

embarking on a journey to

thoughtful. Today we might

when we’ve trusted advice

practice considering our steps.

call them the clueless and

we shouldn’t have trusted

Enjoy the process of helping

the aware. But before we

or failed to question

each other become prudent.

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Only simpletons believe everything they’re told!

The prudent carefully consider their steps.

PROVERBS 14:15. NLT

SHARE YOUR STORY

E

ach of us has a

stories with others, we give

story. The events

them the opportunity to see

of our life—good,

God at work.

bad, wonderful or

challenging—have shaped

When we share our stories,

who we are. God knows

we also realize we are

your story, and He intends

not alone—that we have

to redeem it—to use every

common experiences and

can encourage someone else,

struggle and every joy to

thoughts, and that others

and telling it can lead to a

ultimately bring you to

can understand what we are

path of freedom for you and

Himself. When we share our

going through. Your story

for those you share it with.

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OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to give you insight as you study. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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B

efore you start this first meeting, get contact information for every participant. Take time to pass around a copy of the Life Group Roster on page 107, a sheet of paper, or one of you pass

your Study Guide, opened to the Life Group Roster. Ask someone to make copies or type up a list with everyone’s information and email it to the group during the week.

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DISCUSSION Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

 What brought you here? What do you hope to get out of this group?  Describe your favorite family tradition growing up.  Think about the adults in your life during your childhood. What was one very memorable expression you heard one of them say frequently that still pops into your mind from time to time?

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W

hether your group is new or ongoing, it’s always important to reflect on and review your values together. On page 100 is a Life Group Agreement with the values we’ve found most useful in sustaining healthy, balanced groups.

We recommend that you choose one or two values—ones you haven’t

previously focused on or have room to grow in—to emphasize during this study. Choose ones that will take your group to the next stage of intimacy and spiritual health.

If your group is new, welcome newcomers. Introduce everyone—you may even want to have name tags for your first meeting.

We recommend you rotate host homes on a regular basis and let the hosts lead the meeting. Studies show that healthy groups rotate leadership. This helps to develop every member’s ability to shepherd a few people in a safe environment. Even Jesus gave others the opportunity to serve alongside Him (Mark 6:30–44). Look at the FAQs in the Appendix for additional information about hosting or leading the group.

The Life Group Calendar on page 101 is a tool for planning who will host and lead each meeting. Take a few minutes to plan hosts and leaders for your remaining meetings. Don’t skip this important step! It will revolutionize your group.

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WATCH THE VIDEO Use the Notes space provided below to record key thoughts, questions and things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

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HEAR GOD’S STORY READ ROMANS 12:1–2. And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect (NLT).

What did you hear in the video that gave you a fresh perspective on these verses?

When you heard the group discuss examples of being sure they were right until they discovered they were wrong, what examples came in mind from your life? How did the story of Grandma and the ham resonate with you?

What exactly is Paul talking about when he uses the phrase, “give your bodies to God” in the verses above?

To what is Paul referring when he writes, “This is truly the way to worship him”?

Why is it crucial to approach spiritual transformation with the reality that we have to change the way we think, according to Romans 12:2?

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STUDY NOTES  And so, dear brothers and sisters. As Paul did in most of his letters to churches, he transitioned from teaching in Romans 1–11 to application in Romans 12–16. And he begins by laying the groundwork.  A living and holy sacrifice. Years ago someone wrote this delightful bit of graffiti related to these verses: “The only problem with a living sacrifice is that it keeps crawling off the altar.”  Don’t copy the behavior and customs. Imitating the world leads us away from God.  Let God transform you. The process of life change requires God’s help…it’s not a do-it-yourself project.  By changing the way you think. Filling our minds with God’s thoughts is one of the steps we take in making our entire selves available to God.

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CREATE A NEW STORY

G

od wants you to be part of His kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change—

to go His way rather than your own.

This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By starting with small, simple choices, we begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way—giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into scripture, and challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God. In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

During his teaching, Rob said, “We’re all going to learn and grow together.

Actually, we're going to unlearn and grow together.” What did he mean?

Let’s talk about Rob’s final probing question, “Is there room in your life for improvement?” As you listened to the sharing by the group on the video, what are you anticipating can happen among us these weeks?

What areas of your life do you realize might benefit from a little unlearning?

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When we talked earlier about the challenge of being a living sacrifice, how did that sound to you? Do you find it more intriguing or scary?

Take a look at the Circles of Life diagram below and write the names of two or three people you know who need to know Christ. Commit to praying for God’s guidance and an opportunity to share with each of them. Perhaps they would be open to joining the group? Share your lists with the group so you can all be praying for the people you’ve identified.

Family (immediate or extended)

Familiar

Friends

(neighbors, kids’ sports teams, school and so forth)

Fun

Firm

(gym, hobbies, hangouts)

(work)

W H O S A Y S ? | 19

Also consider someone—in this group or outside it—that you can begin going deeper with in an intentional way. This might be your mom or dad, a cousin, an aunt or uncle, a roommate, a college buddy, or a neighbor.

Choose someone who might be open to “doing life” with you at a deeper level and pray about that opportunity.

This week how will you interact with the Bible? Can you commit to spending time in daily prayer or study of God’s Word (use the Daily Devotions section to guide you)? Tell the group how you plan to follow Jesus this week, and then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges.

 Stack your hands just a sports team does in the huddle and commit to taking a risk and going deeper in your group and in your relationships with each other.  Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer & Praise Report on page 108.

CLOSE YOUR MEETING WITH PRAYER. 20 | V I N Y A R D C I N C I N N A T I C H U R C H

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If you feel God nudging you to go deeper, take some time before the next meeting to dig into His Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own and jot your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. A great way to gain insight on a passage is to read it in several different translations. You may want to use a Bible app or website to compare translations.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY Read Psalm 1. The six verses in this psalm serve as an overture for the entire book of worship. In a sense, the opening verses describe aspects of the life of someone who is a living sacrifice. God declares that life blessed.

Use the following definition of blessing: to speak or deliver good into someone’s life. Exactly how is the person in the psalm being blessed?

What are the three areas to avoid learning in that lead to blessing?

What is the source of worthy learning and how does the learning really occur?

How does this psalm describe the wise life? How badly do you want it?

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Read Philippians 4:4–9. As he did with the Romans, Paul spent the last half of his letter to the Philippians giving specific application to his earlier teaching. The first four verses describe contented living. The turning point is in verse 7 and the settling of our hearts and minds in Christ. Then the last two verses offer a way of thinking that is superior and effective for living.

What spiritual habits does Paul advise in the first four verses?

How do we arrive at the peace of God, and what does it accomplish in us?

List the eight objects for thinking Paul mentions, adding an example or two next to each one.

The peace from verse 7 comes back in verse 9. In what ways are you asking God to change your thinking during this series?

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DAILY DEVOTIONALS DAY 1 Read Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you (NLT).

Respond: In what way would you say that God’s Word is the final authority in your life?

DAY 2 Read Proverbs 14:15 Only simpletons believe everything they’re told! The prudent carefully consider their steps (NLT).

Respond: How does “considering your steps” include questioning things you’ve learned in the past?

DAY 3 Read 2 Timothy 3:16–17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (NIV2011).

Respond: Which ones of these useful features of God’s Word do you think will be most helpful to us during these sessions? Why?

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DAY 4 Read Philippians 2:13 For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose (NIV2011).

Respond: In what ways do you recognize God is at work in you to bring about change?

DAY 5 Read Psalm 1:1–2 Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the LORD, meditating on it day and night (NLT).

Respond: Why do we hang on to things we know are not right when God offers us a better way in His Word?

DAY 6 Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

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S E S S I O N T WO

WHO SAYS EVERYONE’S OPINION MATTERS? UNLEARNING THE WORST LESSON FROM SOCIAL MEDIA

A

lthough in the

the way that might have to

we believe it. Some of the

last session

be questioned, the heart

things we believe are life

we talked a

of all these sessions is to

and death matters, with

lot about little

be more deeply aware of

eternity hanging in the

what we believe and why

balance.

ideas we’ve picked up along

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There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.

PROVERBS 14:12. NLT

SHARE YOUR STORY As we said last week, when

When we share our

we share our stories with

stories, we can encourage

others, we give them the

someone else, and learn.

opportunity to see God at

We experience the presence

work. Your story is being

of God as He helps us be

shaped, even in this moment,

brave enough to reveal our

by being part of this group.

thoughts and feelings.

In fact, few things can shape us more than community.

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OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER This should be a brief, simple prayer in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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DISCUSSION Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

 In the last session we started looking at many of the things we take for granted in the way we think and make decisions. Were there any instances this week in which you caught yourself thinking about why you were saying or doing something a certain way?  When you hear the word opinion, what does that mean to you?  In the last session we also asked you to write some names in the Circles of Life diagram. Who did you identify as the people in your life who need to meet Jesus? Go back to the Circles of Life diagram on page 19 to help you think of various people you come in contact with on a regular basis; people who need to know Jesus more deeply. Consider ideas for action and make a plan to follow through on one of them this week.

Pair up with someone in your group. (We suggest that men partner with men and women with women.) This person will be your spiritual partner for the rest of this study. He or she doesn’t have to be your best friend. Instead, this person will simply encourage you to complete the goals you set for yourself during this study. Following through on a resolution is tough when you’re on your own; it makes all the difference to have a partner to cheer you on.

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WATCH THE VIDEO Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided below to record key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After you finish watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion

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HEAR GOD’S STORY READ MATTHEW 16:14–17. When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”

“Well,” they replied, “some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say Jeremiah or one of the other prophets.”

Then he asked them, “But who do you say I am?”

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “You are blessed, Simon son of John, because my Father in heaven has revealed this to you. You did not learn this from any human being (NLT).

During the video, Pastor Rob referenced the passage we just read. What was the point he made about the discussion Jesus had with His disciples?

According to Jesus here, why was Peter’s view more than just another human opinion?

What point stood out for you in the group’s discussion about social media?

Why doesn’t everyone’s opinion matter?

Comment on this statement: “People always matter; their opinions not so much.”

During the discussion, Pastor Rob said, “The tricky thing about truth is that it’s not created. It’s discovered. And in some cases, ...revealed.”

What did he mean?

W H O S A Y S ? | 31

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STUDY NOTES

P

eter’s recognition of the divine character of Jesus is one of the highpoints of the Gospel accounts. He is a great example for us about the fact that we can know the truth and still not live up to it. It’s hard to imagine that someone who could be this certain of Jesus’ identity

would later deny he even knew Jesus…until we recognize the same kind of fluctuations in our own lives regarding the truth we know.

 John the Baptist … Elijah … Jeremiah … one of the other prophets. These were the guesses about Jesus’ identity expressed by the common people. They realized He was different and somehow connected with God, but they didn’t have a clear category to put Him in. There were certainly plenty of people (mainly the religious leaders) who had very negative opinions of Jesus.  You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God. Peter was recognizing that Jesus uniquely fit the description he knew from the Old Testament of the One God had promised to eventually send to save and lead His people.  My Father in heaven has revealed this to you. Neither do we recognize Jesus on our own nor do we convince others to recognize Him unaided by God’s Spirit.

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CREATE A NEW STORY

I

n this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned from the teaching and Bible study. Then

think about practical steps you can take in the coming week to live out what you’ve learned.

What are some ways we can respectfully challenge an opinion while still appreciating the person?

The closing discussion by the group was on the question: What thoughts come to mind when you hear the statement “You can know truth about God”?

What are some important differences between knowing truth about God and knowing the God of truth?

How has the Holy Spirit guided you into truth in your experience? In what ways are you including Him in your thinking as you look to the future?

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Here are some simple ways to connect with God and know Him more deeply. Tell the group which ones you plan to try this week, and talk about your progress and challenges when you meet next time.

Prayer. Commit to personal prayer and daily connection with God. You may find it helpful to write your prayers in a journal.

Daily Devotions. The Daily Devotions provided in each session offer an opportunity to read a short Bible passage five days a week during the course of our study. In our hurry-up world, we often move too quickly through everything—even reading God’s Word! Slow down. Don’t just skim, but take time to read carefully and reflect on the passage. Write down your insights on what you read each day. Copy a portion of scripture on a card and tape it somewhere in your line of sight, such as your car’s dashboard or the bathroom mirror. Or text it to yourself! Think about it when you sit at red lights or while you’re eating a meal. Reflect on what God is saying to you through these words. On the sixth day summarize what God has shown you throughout the week.

 Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer & Praise Report on page 108.

CLOSE YOUR MEETING WITH PRAYER. W H O S A Y S ? | 35

If you feel God is nudging you to go deeper, take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into His Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. Want to go deeper?

Select a few verses and try paraphrasing them: writing them in your own words. If you like, share them with the group the next time you meet.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY Read 2 Timothy 3:16–17. During the daily devotional readings for last week you visited briefly with this passage. Pastor Rob also used it in this session. It is one of the clearest passages on the meaning of the inspiration of Scripture as well as a great passage on the ways to apply Scripture.

Write out your definition of the statement: “The Bible is inspired by God.” Where did you/how did you get that definition?

Why is it important to see the Bible as the book God authored for us?

What does this passage say are the four areas of usefulness and what is the expected result of God’s Word?

In what ways have these facts about the Bible been proven true in your life?

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Read John 20:30–31. The disciple Jesus loved thought for a long time about the biography he would write for his Master. It is distinctly different than the other three, illustrating the towering figure of Jesus. Reading the four Gospels gives us a composite picture of the single person who was God come as man to His world with a purpose.

Why did John write his Gospel?

What did John expect would happen if we read his selected account of Jesus’ actions and teaching?

How would you describe the current state of your own relationship with Jesus?

W H O S A Y S ? | 37

DAILY DEVOTIONALS DAY 1 Read John 14:7 If you had really known me, you would know who my Father is. From now on, you do know him and have seen him!” (NLT).

Respond: How comfortable are you with the claim to know God? What do you (or the people on the video) claim as the source for that claim? How do you demonstrate it’s more than a wish or feeling?

DAY 2 Read Proverbs 14:12 There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death (NLT).

Respond: How does the memory verse for this week speak to you about the importance of humility?

DAY 3 Read Jeremiah 9:23–24 This is what the LORD says: “Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the LORD who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the LORD, have spoken!” (NLT).

Respond: As you read this memo from God, what stands out to you among the three things that we tend to use as the sources for authority or influence in life? What is God saying we should use?

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DAY 4 Read John 20:30–31 The disciples saw Jesus do many other miraculous signs in addition to the ones recorded in this book. But these are written so that you may continue to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing in him you will have life by the power of his name (NLT).

Respond: When was the last time you sat down and read one of the Gospels straight through to sense the flow and truth of Jesus’ life? If it has been a while (or never), when would be a good time to do that?

DAY 5 Read Matthew 4:4 But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (NLT) Respond: Jesus was responding to Satan’s temptation to act based on His feelings of hunger rather than the instructions from His Father. How do you use the Bible to respond to temptation?

DAY 6 Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

W H O S A Y S ? | 39

SESSION THREE

WHO SAYS YOU HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH? UNLEARNING AMERICAN INDIVIDUALISM

O

ne of the

teach us lessons. There are

in the human body with

amazing

analogies and illustrations

the expected connections

observations

everywhere. Paul doesn’t

among believers in Jesus.

we make once

hesitate to draw a

We will explore these

our eyes are open is that the

comparison between the

organic links in this session.

entire creation is wired to

intricate interconnectedness

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Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.

1 CORINTHIANS 12:12 NIV2011

A

SHARE YOUR STORY s we have said

connections among group

an act of love and kindness

in previous

members. Your story may be

to them—and could very

lessons, sharing

exactly what another person

well help them to grow

our personal

needs to hear, and your

spiritually.

stories builds deeper

listening to others’ stories is

W H O S A Y S ? | 41

OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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DISCUSSION Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

 I’d like to get a head start on part of the discussion in the video, so let me ask you here at the start, what’s one of the best experiences you’ve ever had connected with church?  If you’re comfortable with this, what has been one of the most difficult experiences you’ve had with church?  Sit with your spiritual partner. If your partner is absent or if you are new to the group, join with another pair or someone who doesn’t yet have a partner. If you haven’t established your spiritual partnership yet, do it now.

Share one prayer request and one thing you want to thank God for. Spend some time praying about what you’ve shared. (See Share Your Story in Session Two on page 27.)  Take some time for each person to share about how they’re doing on the challenge of inviting the people on the Circles of Life to church or your Life Group. What specific conversations are you praying about for the weeks to come?

W H O S A Y S ? | 43

WATCH THE VIDEO Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided below to record key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After you finish watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

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HEAR GOD’S STORY READ EPHESIANS 4:11–16. Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love (NLT).

What did you think when Pastor Rob began his teaching by saying, “Who says I have to go to church? Not Jesus. He NEVER taught that we should go to church”?

Glance down those verses above again and let’s brainstorm the main points Paul is making.

Who would you say is your best example of someone who lives out the role of member in the body of Christ? How do you see yourself as part of the body of Christ?

What are the problems with the emphasis on individuality in our culture that has saturated the church?

W H O S A Y S ? | 45

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STUDY NOTES

T

his key passage from Ephesians include what God wants us to know about the formation gifts as well as the function gifts He gives His church. We are all given gifts to shape or form other believers toward being equipped for their own role or function within the body.

 The apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Some people are themselves gifts. Because this list is not differentiated, it’s not likely that Paul had in mind the special group of original apostles or the Old Testament prophets in this group. He’s talking about special leadership roles that help the church bold proclamation of the Scriptures and church planting (apostolic gifting), declaring God’s warnings to the culture and church (prophetic gifts), widely declaring the gospel with power (evangelistic gifting), pastoral care and persistent effective teaching. These are gifts the church always needs and God provides.  He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. Christ is always at work to keep His own body in shape and functioning effectively.  As each part does its own special work. The mature Christian is not self-centered, but body-centered.

W H O S A Y S ? | 47

CREATE A NEW STORY

What signs have you noticed that tell you this concern over individualism is valid when it comes to the condition of the church today?

Since Jesus said, “I will build my church” (Matthew 16:17), what would be the signs He is still doing that today?

How would you demonstrate the truth of Ecclesiastes 3:11 “He has set eternity in the human heart” in your own experience?

In what ways does the discussion on the video and among us affect how you see the church?

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Each of you in the group has different gifts and abilities. And every Life Group has tasks and roles that need to be done. How could you serve this group—perhaps with hospitality or prayer, by organizing an event, research or study of a topic, by worshipping or inviting new people?

Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation: to come to a church service, to join your Life Group, or even to just have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind people you can pray for.

Groups grow closer when they serve together. How could your group serve someone in need? You may want to visit a shut-in from your church, provide a meal for a family who is going through difficulty, or give some other practical help to someone in need. If nothing comes to mind, spend some group time praying and asking God to show you who needs your help. Have two or three group members organize a serving project for the group, and then do it!

CLOSE YOUR MEETING WITH PRAYER. W H O S A Y S ? | 49

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY Read 1 Corinthians 12:4–11. As you settle into thinking about the body of Christ and perhaps unlearning some your assumptions about the church, you will find great encouragement from the three chapters in 1 Corinthians 12 – 14. So often we automatically overrule the Scriptures with our traditions instead of letting God’s Word speak into our experience and doing those things we thought about when we studied 2 Timothy 3:16–17.

What are the three ways God uses us to affect His body (vv. 4–7)? In verses 4 and 7, what points does Paul make about spiritual gifts?

As you read through the spiritual gift examples (not an exhaustive list) in verses 8–10, what general conclusions can you make from them. Is there a difference between having a gift and using it?

Why is verse 11 a crucial point for those of us far too ready to be jealous of others and their gifts?

How does this psalm describe the wise life? How badly do you want it?

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Read 1 Corinthians 12:18–26. For those who have been persuaded the Bible is a book with little humor, this passage is an effective correction. In fact, seeing humor in the Gospels and throughout Scripture has a lot more to do with our poor vision and sensitivities than it does with the presence of funny things in the Bible. Having made the case of the body of Christ, Paul now offers some remarks about how ridiculous it is to try to live out the individualistic view of the Church in the reality of the body.

Again, what does Paul say first about the reason each of us is where we are in the body?

In verses 19–21, what are the verbal pictures Paul is drawing? Think in terms of presenting this as a cartoon.

What lesson about sensitivity does Paul give us in verses 22–25.

Have you ever experienced the kind of shared suffering or honor Paul describes in verse 26? How?

W H O S A Y S ? | 51

DAILY DEVOTIONALS DAY 1 Read Matthew 16:18 Now I say to you that you are Peter (which means ‘rock’), and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it (NLT).

Respond: Take some time to pray for your church. Ask Jesus to give you the ability to see the kind of work that He is doing to build His church.

DAY 2 Read 1 Corinthians 12:12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ (NIV2011).

Respond: Make a little list of other believers whose gifts you really appreciate and look for opportunities to express your gratitude to them.

DAY 3 Read 1 Corinthians 12:27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it (NLT).

Respond: When you are gathered with your Life Group, how are you functioning as the body of Christ?

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DAY 4 Read Ephesians 3:20–21 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen (NLT).

Respond: In what ways do you see God receiving glory through what He is accomplishing in and through the Church?

DAY 5 Read Ephesians 4:16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love (NLT).

Respond: How often do you dedicate your prayer time to asking God to use you and your gifts within the body to benefit others? How is that working out?

DAY 6 Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

W H O S A Y S ? | 53

S E SS ION FOU R

WHO SAYS GOOD PEOPLE GO TO HEAVEN? UNLEARNING THAT HEAVEN IS FOR GOOD PEOPLE

T

his session’s

line in the sand with the

memory verse,

words “No one.” This time

which you

we are going to explore the

looked at briefly

differences between taking

in previous devotional

Jesus at His word or trying

readings, is a powerful claim

to figure out our own way to

from Jesus. He draws the

the Father.

54 | V I N Y A R D C I N C I N N A T I C H U R C H

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”

JOHN 14:6 NLT

SHARE YOUR STORY

W H O S A Y S ? | 55

OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER This should be a brief, simple prayer in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting, or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

56 | V I N Y A R D C I N C I N N A T I C H U R C H

DISCUSSION Sharing personal stories builds deeper connections among group members. Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

 The subtitle of this series we’re in is “Unlearning Five Things That Might Be Holding You Back.” Now that we’ve been at this a couple of weeks, how do you understand that phrase?  What has been a significant personal discovery for you in these last few weeks?

Sit with your spiritual partner. If your partner is absent or you are new to the group, join with another pair or someone who doesn’t yet have a partner. If you haven’t established your spiritual partnership yet, do it now. (See Share Your Story in Session Two on page 27.)

W H O S A Y S ? | 57

WATCH THE VIDEO Use the Notes space provided below to record key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion.

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HEAR GOD’S STORY Use the following questions to guide your discussion of the teaching and stories you just experienced on the video and the Bible passage below.

READ LUKE 23:32–43. Two others, both criminals, were led out to be executed with him. When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified—one on his right and one on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice.

The crowd watched and the leaders scoffed. “He saved others,” they said, “let him save himself if he is really God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.” The soldiers mocked him, too, by offering him a drink of sour wine. They called out to him, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” A sign was fastened to the cross above him with these words: “This is the King of the Jews.”

One of the criminals hanging beside him scoffed, “So you’re the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself—and us, too, while you’re at it!”

But the other criminal protested, “Don’t you fear God even when you have been sentenced to die? We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn’t done anything wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.”

And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise” (NLT).

Both the video and the passage we just read capture intense and intimate conversations. What stood out for you in the video presentation?

W H O S A Y S ? | 59

Looking at these verses, how would you describe the unlearning and then faith that went on in the one criminal’s heart and mind?

How might Jesus’ prayer of forgiveness shortly after the crosses were stood up have influenced the thinking of the criminals?

Considering Jesus’ promise to the criminal and the discussion on the video about good and/or bad people in heaven, how did this presentation challenge, clarify, or confirm your own understanding?

60 | V I N Y A R D C I N C I N N A T I C H U R C H

STUDY NOTES

T

his has been called one of the most unique Life Group sessions in history. Three men, huddled closely, not at a coffee shop but each

hanging from crosses as they carried on a blunt conversation.

 Father, forgive them. Jesus’ statement doesn’t seem to have affected the guards, the crowds, or one of the criminals—all who fit in the category of “them.” And if Jesus was on the cross because of our sins too, we fit that category.  We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn’t done anything wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me . . . .”

The believing thief recognized his own sin and consequences, realized Jesus was in a radically different place, and dared to hope Jesus would include him in His kingdom. This was Spirit inspired understanding of deep truth and humble response in trust.

W H O S A Y S ? | 61

CREATE A NEW STORY

G

od wants you to be part of His Kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way, by

giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into scripture, and challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God. In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned in this session.

What have been some of your own struggles with the connection between being good and getting to heaven?

How did you respond to Pastor Rob’s notes on the fact that Jesus talked a lot about hell?

What struck you about the reflections of the group on the video regarding the question of feeling the gospel is unfair, particularly with late life or deathbed conversions?

Pastor Rob closed the session with an invitation to faith and a prayer. All of us who are believers have that crisis moment when we come to trust God. Would a couple of you like to describe what that moment was like for you?

62 | V I N Y A R D C I N C I N N A T I C H U R C H

Are there any other comments someone would like to make regarding the theme of this session?

What steps will you take this week to grow in your relationship with God? If you’ve focused on prayer in past weeks, maybe you’ll want to direct your attention to scripture this week. If you’ve been reading God’s Word consistently, perhaps you’ll want to take it deeper and try memorizing a verse. Tell the group which one you plan to try this week, and talk about your progress and challenges when you meet next time.

 Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer & Praise Report on page 108.

CLOSE YOUR MEETING WITH PRAYER. W H O S A Y S ? | 63

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY Read Matthew 20:1–16. Although this parable begins a new chapter in Matthew, it’s actually part on an extended answer Jesus gave to a comment by our friend Peter in 19:27 when he asked, “We’ve given up everything to follow you. What will we get?”

What point did Pastor Rob make from this parable during the video?

Compare Matthew 19:30 with 20:16. What is Jesus telling us?

Which group of workers do you identify with and how are you doing with your attitude toward other workers in the vineyard?

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Read Colossians 1:11–14. At the start of many of his letters, Paul took time to tell his recipients about his prayers for them. We can claim these prayers for ourselves, and consider that Paul and all those down through the ages who have come to faith in Christ would echo these prayers for us.

List the specific items Paul is praying for on behalf of his audience.

How does he describe our condition/situation apart from Christ and God’s intervention?

How does he describe our new circumstances?

In what ways does this echo the sentiments of the group in the video talking about the “unfairness” of the gospel?

W H O S A Y S ? | 65

DAILY DEVOTIONALS DAY 1 Read Mark 12:34 Realizing how much the man understood, Jesus said to him, “You are not far from the Kingdom of God.” And after that, no one dared to ask him any more questions (NLT).

Respond: xx. x

DAY 2 Read John 14:6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (NLT).

Respond: Meditate on this statement by Jesus for a while. What do His words actually mean to you?

DAY 3 Read John 3:16 For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life (NLT).

Respond: Describe at least three different ways this verse should shape the way we look at other people in our lives.

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DAY 4 Read Ephesians 2:8–9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast (NIV2011).

Respond: If being good doesn’t get us saved or into heaven, for what reasons are we urged to do good?

DAY 5 Read Matthew 5:20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven (NIV2011).

Respond: Pastor Rob used this passage to remind us of the futility of trying to be good enough to earn heaven or God’s love. How do you remind yourself that your relationship with God is not based on your performance?

DAY 6 Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

W H O S A Y S ? | 67

SESSION FIVE

WHO SAYS PAIN SHOULD BE AVOIDED? UNLEARNING COMFORT AS THE GOAL

P

aul had quite a

realized that every day he

had laid down His life for us.

view of living. He

received and every breath

He also knew that kind of

identified with

he took was a gift from God

honor and obedience would

Jesus who took

to be lived in honor and

inevitably involve some

obedience to the One who

discomfort and pain.

his place on the cross. He

68 | V I N Y A R D C I N C I N N A T I C H U R C H

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me .

GALATIONS 2:20 NIV2011

SHARE YOUR STORY Telling our personal stories

honest and open by creating

builds deeper connections

a safe place; be sure that

among group members.

your group is one where

Begin your time together by

confidentiality is respected,

using the following questions

where there is no such thing

and activities to get people

as “stupid questions,� where

talking. Sharing our stories

you listen without criticizing

requires us to be honest.

one another.

We can help one another be W H O S A Y S ? | 69

OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

70 | V I N Y A R D C I N C I N N A T I C H U R C H

DISCUSSION  What kinds of situations in life involve significant self-discipline or commitment?  Describe an experience in your life during which success required a good deal of discomfort or pain. To what degree did you know going in what it was going to cost you to get through?

Sit with your spiritual partner. If your partner is absent or if you are new to the group, join with another pair or someone who doesn’t yet have a partner. If you haven’t established your spiritual partnership yet, do it now. Answer this question: how has being in this group impacted your personal relationship with God? (See Share Your Story in Session Two on page 29.)

W H O S A Y S ? | 71

WATCH THE VIDEO Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided below to record key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After you finish watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion

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HEAR GOD’S STORY READ JAMES 1:2–8. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do (NIV2011).

What is joy and in what way is it a choice that we make rather than a biproduct of circumstances?

Looking at the passage we just read, what are the steps in the journey between trials and wisdom? Which qualities sound most desirable to you?

Compare experience-based wisdom and wisdom given by God.

What are we missing in our understanding of God when we resent His willingness to allow us to go through difficult times?

W H O S A Y S ? | 73

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STUDY NOTES

T

hese opening thoughts from the letter of James in the New Testament have puzzled, challenged, and guided many followers of Jesus over the centuries. The half-brother of Jesus knew what he was talking about.

God demonstrates His sovereignty in our lives by what He asks us to

do and allows us to experience.

 Consider it pure joy. The trials don’t bring joy, they present us with an opportunity to choose joy, the deliberate decision to trust God beyond our circumstances. To unlearn the tendency to confuse happiness or comfort with joy.  Not lacking anything…lacks wisdom. The road from trials to wisdom provides moments of realizing we need more wisdom for the next steps.

W H O S A Y S ? | 75

CREATE A NEW STORY

G

od wants you to be part of His kingdom—to weave your story into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the way—

giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into Scripture, and challenging us to love not only those around us but those far from God. In this section, talk about how you will apply the wisdom you’ve learned in this lesson.

What would be the clues in someone’s life that they were choosing joy in the middle of trials?

Trials or testing your faith is not intended by God to cause failure but to cause progress. When and where have you found this lesson to be true?

Comment on Pastor Rob’s statement: “God’s plan is not to give you more ease, but to give you more strength.” How does that fit into the school of unlearning stuff?

If we make it our ultimate goal to avoid as much pain in every way possible, what are we missing out on?

How can we encourage one another when someone is in pain by not just telling them to “get over it” or “you’ll look back on this as a victory”? How can we care in the way we want to be cared for when we’re hurting?

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Are there any other principles or points you got from the video that we need to talk about?

 Spend some time praying about those you know who might respond to a simple invitation: to come to a church service, to join your Life Group, or even just to have coffee and talk about spiritual matters. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind people you can pray for.  A strong group is made up of people who are all being filled up by God, so that they are empowered to love one another. What specific steps will you take this week to connect with God privately, so He can “fill you up?” If you’ve focused on prayer in past weeks, maybe you’ll want to direct your attention to Scripture this week. If you’ve been reading God’s Word consistently, perhaps you’ll want to take it deeper and try memorizing a verse. Tell the group which one you plan to try this week. Then, at your next meeting, talk about your progress and challenges.  Ask, “How can we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to write prayer requests on your Prayer & Praise Report on page 108.

CLOSE YOUR MEETING WITH PRAYER. W H O S A Y S ? | 77

Take some time between now and our next meeting to dig into God’s Word. Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own. Jot down your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages. If you like, share what you learn with the group the next time you meet.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY Read Hebrews 12:5–11. In the eleventh chapter of Hebrews it describes many of the members of the Old Testament Hall of Faith, the writer of Hebrews is encouraging to live by faith and follow Christ, no matter what trials and difficulties we face. He wants us to develop an understanding of God’s purposes in order to develop trust.

What human relationship does the writer want us to see as a parallel to our relationship with God? How? Discipline can be punishment or it can be training (often both). What kind does this passage have in mind?

What is your track record for responding to God’s discipline in healthy ways? What would it take to improve that performance?

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Read 2 Corinthians 12:7–10. The apostle Paul was being very transparent with his brothers and sisters in Corinth, wanting them to understand that Paul was committed to their growth in Christ and carrying out his instructions from God. He refused to boast of his apostolic qualifications and instead boasted of a thorn.

Although we don’t know what the thorn actually was, what information does Paul give us about it?

How did Paul handle the thorn.

What did God tell Paul about the thorn that changed his attitude about it?

In what ways can we use this example in facing our own challenges and hardships?

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DAILY DEVOTIONALS DAY 1 Read Job 23:10 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold (NIV2011).

Respond: Job was describing the purifying of gold in a furnace, where “testing” removes impurities and purifies the precious metal. What difference would it make if you saw yourself as gold God is working to create something amazing out of?

DAY 2 Read Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (NIV2011).

Respond: If we’re crucified with Christ, is there a greater likelihood of comfort or discomfort in that experience? What does it mean to live by faith in the Son of God?

DAY 3 Read John 18:11 Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?” (NIV2011).

Respond: Did the pain of the whip and the cross, and the shame of helplessness affect Jesus less because He was the Son of God, or did His willful emptying of Himself to become one of us mean He felt it as a deeply as anyone could feel it? What difference does that make for you?

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DAY 4 Read Philippians 4:11–13 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength (NIV2011).

Respond: Paul learned contentment; how are you learning it?

DAY 5 Read James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds (NIV2011).

Respond: What is the area of trial in your life right now? Are you considering it pure joy? Have you asked others to pray for you that God will fill you with the wisdom you need to make that choice?

DAY 6 Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

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SESSION SIX

WHO SAYS YOU CAN’T PLEASE GOD? UNLEARNING THE FEELING THAT YOU’LL NEVER MEASURE UP

T

his last session

that we’ll never measure

addresses a

up. The memory verse for

nagging doubt we

this week reminds us that

remember that God always

have that God is

in those times when we most

does what He needs to do

forever unpleased with us. We

easily assume God must really

with us for no other reason

have to unlearn the feeling

have it in for us we need to

than He loves us.

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And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son” HEBREWS 12:5–6 NIV2011

SHARE YOUR STORY As we have said in previous

or strengthen them. And

lessons, sharing our personal

your listening to others’

stories builds deeper

stories is an act of love and

connections among group

kindness to them—and

members. Your story may be

could very well help them to

exactly what another person

grow spiritually.

needs to hear to encourage W H O S A Y S ? | 83

OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER This should be a brief, simple prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting or stop momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during your discussion.

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DISCUSSION Begin your time together by using the following questions and activities to get people talking.

 What has surprised you most about this group? Where did God meet you over the last six weeks?  Describe one thing you now realize you must unlearn about life or your relationship with God?

Take time in this final session to connect with your spiritual partner. What has God been showing you through these sessions? What positive changes has your partner noticed in you?

Check in with each other about the progress you have made in your spiritual growth during this study. Make plans about whether you will continue your relationship after the group has concluded.

 Take some time for each person to share about how they’ve done with inviting the people on the Circles of Life to church or your Life Group. What specific conversations are you praying about for the weeks to come?

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WATCH THE VIDEO Watch the video for this session now. Use the Notes space provided below to record any key thoughts, questions, and things you want to remember or follow up on. After you finish watching the video, have someone read the discussion questions in the Hear God’s Story section and direct the discussion among the group. As you go through each of the subsequent sections, ask someone else to read the questions and direct the discussion

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THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR HEAVENLY FATHER (Adapted from The Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson, (Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 2006)., p. 215, USED BY PERMISSION.

1. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is distant and uninterested. I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is intimate and involved.

(Psalm 139) 2. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is insensitive and uncaring.

I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is kind and compassionate. (Psalm 103:8–14) 3. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is stern and demanding.

I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is accepting and filled with joy and love. (Zephaniah 3:17, Romans 15:7) 4. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is passive and cold. I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is warm and affectionate. (Isaiah 40:11, Hosea 11:3–4) 5. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is absent or too busy for me.

I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is always with me and eager to be with me. (Jeremiah 31:20, Ezekiel 34:11–16, Hebrews 13:5) 6. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is never satisfied with what I do, impatient, or angry. I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is patient and slow to anger.

(Exodus 34:6, 2 Peter 3:9)

7. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is mean, cruel, or abusive.

I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is loving, gentle, and protective of me. (Psalm 18:2, Jeremiah 31:3, Isaiah 42:3) 8. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is trying to take all the fun out of life. I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is trustworthy and wants to give me a full life; His will is good, perfect, and acceptable.

(Lamentations 3:22–23, John 10:10, Romans 12:1) 9. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is controlling or manipulative.

I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is full of grace and mercy; He gives me freedom to fail.

(Luke 15:11–16, Hebrews 4:15) 10. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is condemning or unforgiving.

I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is tenderhearted and forgiving; His heart and arms are always open to me. (Psalm 130:1–4, Luke 15:17–32) 11. I RENOUNCE THE LIE that my Father God is nit-picking, exacting, or perfectionistic. I JOYFULLY ACCEPT THE TRUTH that my Father God is committed to my growth and proud of me as His growing child. (Romans 8:28, 2 Corinthians 7:4, Hebrews 12:5–11) W H O S A Y S ? | 87

HEAR GOD’S STORY READ MATTHEW 7:7–11. Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (NIV2011) What is Jesus teaching about His Father in these five verses and how is it related to His encouraging persistence in prayer on our part?

In what senses might prayer be asking, seeking, and knocking?

What were your main take-aways from the video teaching and interaction?

How does God loving us beyond what we can imagine fit with any impression we might have that we have to try to please Him?

What do our experiences of being out of our depth or our league have to do with seeing ourselves in a relationship with our heavenly Father?

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STUDY NOTES

J

esus has just reached the final third of His extended teaching we now call The Sermon on the Mount. He returns to the subject of prayer. In Matthew 5:23–24 He touched on the hypocrisy of coming before God in prayerful sacrifice when things aren’t right between us and someone

else. In Matthew 6:5–15 He taught about private and public prayer and gave us the pattern we call The Lord’s Prayer. Then He returned to the subject of prayer in Matthew 7.

 Asking…seeking…knocking. Jesus encouraged in us the persistence of little children, trusting their parents will know when to say no and boldly asking for anything!  Which of you? An honoring comparison that we should as human parents be in any league with God the Father, yet there are parallels in our intentions.  How much more will your heavenly Father. What we do so imperfectly, God our Father does exactly right. He not only gives; He gives good gifts—exactly what we need.

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CREATE A NEW STORY

H

ow has God changed your story during this six-week study? What new things is He asking you to do? What truth has transformed your heart? Think about specific steps you want to take to live a new story, to walk more closely with God so you can be part of His story, engaged in His kingdom.

Let’s echo part of the video discussion and talk about experiences in which someone has come alongside us with encouragement that has altered our lives.

In what ways have you tried to gift that forward into other’s lives?

How has your understanding of God as your heavenly Father been challenged by this series and by this final session? What are you expecting to unlearn about Him as a result?

What are the two greatest things God your heavenly Father has done for you that you can think of in this moment?

 As this is the last meeting in this study, take some time to celebrate the work God has done in the lives of group members. Have each person in the group share some step of growth they have noticed in another member. (In other words, no one will talk about themselves. Instead, affirm others in the group.) Make sure each person gets affirmed and noticed and celebrated— whether the steps they’ve made are large or small.

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 If your group still needs to make decisions about continuing to meet after this session, have that discussion now. Talk about what you will study, who will lead, and when you will meet.  Review your Life Group Agreement on page 100 and evaluate how well you met your goals. Discuss any changes you want to make as you move forward. If you plan to continue to meet, and your group starts a new study, this is a great time to take on a new role or change roles of service in your group. What new role will you take on? If you are uncertain, maybe your group members have some ideas for you. Remember you aren’t making a lifetime commitment to the new role; it will only be for a few weeks. Maybe someone would like to share a role with you if you don’t feel ready to serve solo.  Close by praying for your prayer requests and take a couple of minutes to review the praises you have recorded over the past five weeks on the Prayer & Praise Report on page 108. Spend some time thanking God for all He’s done in your group during this study.

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Explore the Bible passages related to this session’s theme on your own, jotting your reflections in a journal or in this study guide. You may even want to use a Bible website or app to look up commentary on these passages.

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY Read Psalm 139. This amazingly intimate and transparent extended prayer by David offering up a life he realizes has been in God’s hands from before he was born.

What does David realize about God as he is writing this psalm? What about God’s character and nature do you appreciate in this psalm?

In what different ways does David see God’s involvement and presence in his life?

Although verses 19–22 are shocking and awkward, what do they say about David’s freedom to express his mind to God? Do you find yourself editing prayers because you want to respect God’s sensibilities?

How do the last two verses place David before God, even his intentions in verses 19–22, waiting for God’s response?

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Read Luke 15:11–32. At the beginning of chapter 15 Jesus was confronted by certain religious leaders with their disapproval of his habit of hanging out with sinners. He responded with three stories: the lost sheep coin, the lost coin, and the lost son. We may not immediately relate to being compared with a lost sheep or a lost coin, but for many of us, the parable of the lost son is biographical.

The details of rebellion may vary in people’s experiences, but what were the common factors that helped bring the wandering son to his senses?

In this story, what does repentance really look like? And how does Jesus actually picture the actions of the father when the son finally returns?

Is this what we expect or does it reveal something about our heavenly Father that we need to unlearn?

In what sense could we say that this parable is really about two lost sons, not just one. The story ends with one son still lost. Do you relate more with the younger son or the older? Why?

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DAILY DEVOTIONALS DAY 1 Read Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (NIV2011).

Respond: What does it do to you to imagine your heavenly Father holding you and singing softly with joy over you?

DAY 2 Read Hebrews 13:5 Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you” (NLT).

Respond: Compare this verse with Philippians 1:6 and express your grateful conclusions to your heavenly Father.

DAY 3 Read Lamentations 3:22–23 The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning (NLT).

Respond: What two things are emphasized about God’s mercy? How could these truths affect the way you greet each day of living?

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DAY 4 Read Hebrews 4:15–16 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most (NLT).

Respond: How does Jesus personal understanding affect your willingness to talk with Him about what’s really happening in your life?

DAY 5 Read Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (NLT).

Respond: What are some things that were not good but that God caused to “work together for good” for your benefit? How often do you thank Him for His continual watch over you?

DAY 6 Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session and during your Daily Devotions time this week.

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APPENDICES Resources to make your Life Group experience even better!

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS What do we do on the first night of our group? Like all fun things in life— have a party! A “get to know you” coffee, dinner, or dessert is a great way to launch a new study. You may want to review the Group Agreement (page 100) and share the names of a few friends you can invite to join you. But most importantly, have fun before your study time begins.

Where do we find new members for our group? This can be troubling, especially for new groups that have only a few people or for existing groups that lose a few people along the way. We encourage you to pray with your group and then brainstorm a list of people from work, church, your neighborhood, your children’s school, family, the gym, and so forth. Then have each group member invite several of the people on his or her list. Another good strategy is to ask church leaders to make an announcement or allow a bulletin insert.

No matter how you find members, it’s vital that you stay on the lookout for new people to join your group. All groups tend to go through healthy attrition—the result of moves, releasing new leaders, ministry opportunities, and so forth—and if the group gets too small, it could be at risk of shutting down. If you and your group stay open, you’ll be amazed at the people God sends your way. The next person just might become a friend for life. You never know!

How long will this group meet? Most groups meet weekly for at least their first six weeks, but every other week can work as well. We strongly recommend that the group meet for the first six months on a weekly basis if at all possible. This allows for continuity, and if people miss a meeting they aren’t gone for a whole month.

At the end of this study, each group member may decide if he or she wants to continue on for another study. Some groups launch relationships for years to come, and others are steppingstones into another group experience. Either way, enjoy the journey.

Can we do this study on our own? Absolutely! This may sound crazy, but one of the best ways to do this study is not with a full house but with a few friends. You may choose to gather with another couple who would enjoy some relational time (perhaps going to the movies or having a quiet dinner) and then walking through this study. Jesus will be with you even if there are only two of you (Matthew 18:20).

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What if this group is not working for us? You’re not alone! This could be the result of a personality conflict, life stage difference, geographical distance, level of spiritual maturity, or any number of things. Relax. Pray for God’s direction, and at the end of this sixweek study, decide whether to continue with this group or find another. You don’t typically buy the first car you look at or marry the first person you date, and the same goes with a group. However, don’t bail out before the six weeks are up—God might have something to teach you. Also, don’t run from conflict or prejudge people before you have given them a chance. God is still working in your life, too!

Who is the leader? Most groups have an official leader. But ideally, the group will mature and members will rotate the leadership of meetings. We have discovered that healthy groups rotate hosts/leaders and homes on a regular basis. This model ensures that all members grow, give their unique contribution, and develop their gifts. This study guide and the Holy Spirit can keep things on track even when you rotate leaders. Christ has promised to be in your midst as you gather. Ultimately, God is your leader each step of the way.

How do we handle the childcare needs in our group? Very carefully.

Seriously, this can be a sensitive issue. We suggest that you empower the group to openly brainstorm solutions. You may try one option that works for a while and then adjust over time.

Our favorite approach is for adults to meet in the living room or dining room and to share the cost of a babysitter (or two) who can watch the kids in a different part of the house. This way, parents don’t have to be away from their children all evening when their children are too young to be left at home. A second option is to use one home for the kids and a second home (close by or a phone call away) for the adults. A third idea is to rotate the responsibility of providing a lesson or care for the children either in the same home or in another home nearby. This can be an incredible blessing for kids. Finally, the most common solution is to decide that you need to have a night to invest in your spiritual lives individually or as a couple and to make your own arrangements for childcare. No matter what decision the group makes, the best approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem and the solution.

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LIFE GROUP AGREEMENT OUR PURPOSE To provide a predictable environment where participants experience authentic community and spiritual growth.

OUR VALUES Group Attendance

To give priority to the group meeting. We will call or email if we will be late or absent. (Completing the Life Group Calendar on the next page will minimize this issue.)

Safe Environment

To help create a safe place where people can be heard and feel loved. (Please, no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes.)

Respect Differences

To be gentle and gracious to fellow group members with different spiritual maturity, personal opinions, temperaments, or “imperfections.” We are all works in progress.

Confidentiality

To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and within the group, and to avoid sharing improper information about those outside the group.

Encouragement for Growth

To be not just takers but givers of life. We want to spiritually

Shared Ownership

To remember that every member is a minister and to ensure

multiply our life by serving others with our God-given gifts.

that each attender will share a small team role or responsibility over time.

Rotating Hosts/Leaders and Homes

To encourage different people to host the group in their homes and to rotate the responsibility of facilitating each meeting. (See the Life Group Calendar on opposite page.)

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OUR EXPECTATIONS Refreshments/mealtimes Childcare When we will meet (day of week) We will begin at (time)

Where we will meet (place) and end at

We will do our best to have some or all of us attend a worship service together.

Our primary worship service time will be Date of this agreement

Date we will review this agreement again

Who (other than the leader) will review this agreement at the end of this study

LIFE GROUP CALENDAR Planning and calendaring can help ensure the greatest participation at every meeting. At the end of each meeting, review this calendar. Be sure to include a regular rotation of host homes and leaders, and don't forget birthdays, socials, church events, holidays, and mission/ministry projects.

DATE

LESSON

HOST HOME

DESSERT/MEAL

LEADER

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SPIRITUAL PARTNERS’ CHECK-IN Briefly check in each week and write down your personal plans and progress targets for the next week (or even for the next few weeks). This could be done before or after the meeting, on the phone, through an email message, or even in person from time to time.

OUR PLANS My Name Spiritual Partner’s Name

OUR PROGRESS Week 1

Week 2

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Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

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MEMORY VERSE CARDS SESSION ONE

SESSION TWO

Only simpletons believe everything they’re told!

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.

The prudent carefully consider their steps.

PROVERBS 14:12 NLT

PROVERBS 14:15 NLT

SESSION THREE

SESSION FOUR

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”

1 CORINTHIANS 12:12 NIV2011

JOHN 14:6 NLT

SESSION FIVE

SESSION SIX

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

GALATIANS 2:20 NIV2011

HEBREWS 12:5–6 NIV2011

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LIFE GROUP ROSTER NAME

EMAIL

PHONE

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PRAYER & PRAISE REPORT Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

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Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

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LIFE GROUP LEADERS Key resources to help your leadership experience be the best it can be.

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HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE

I

f you’re starting a new group, try planning an “open house” before your first formal group meeting. Even if you have only two to four core members, it’s a great way to break the ice and to consider prayerfully who else might be open to joining you over the next few weeks. You can also use this kick-off meeting to hand out study guides, spend some

time getting to know each other, discuss each person’s expectations for the group and briefly pray for each other. A simple meal or good desserts always make a kick-off meeting more fun.

After people introduce themselves and share how they ended up being at the meeting (you can play a game to see who has the wildest story!), have everyone respond to a few icebreaker questions:  What is your favorite family vacation?  What is one thing you love about your church/our community?  What are three things about your life growing up that most people here don’t know?

Next, ask everyone to tell what he or she hopes to get out of the study. You might want to review the Life Group Agreement and talk about each person’s expectations and priorities.

Finally, set an open chair (maybe two) in the center of your group and explain that it represents someone who would enjoy or benefit from this group but who isn’t here yet. Ask people to pray about inviting someone to join the group over the next few weeks. Hand out postcards and have everyone write an invitation or two. Don’t worry about ending up with too many people; you can always have one discussion circle in the living room and another in the dining room after you watch the lesson. Each group could then report prayer requests and progress at the end of the session.

You can skip this kick-off meeting if your time is limited, but you’ll experience a huge benefit if you take the time to connect with each other in this way.

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LEADING FOR THE FIRST TIME  Sweaty palms are a healthy sign. The Bible says God is gracious to the humble.

Remember who is in control; the time to worry is when you’re not worried. Those who are soft in heart (and sweaty palmed) are those whom God is sure to speak through.  Seek support. Ask your leader, co-leader, or close friend to pray for you and prepare with you before the session. Walking through the study will help you anticipate potentially difficult questions and discussion topics.  Bring your uniqueness to the study. Lean into who you are and how God wants you to uniquely lead the study.  Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Go through the session several times. If you are using the DVD, listen to the teaching segment and Leadership Lifter. Consider writing in a journal or fasting for a day to prepare yourself for what God wants to do. Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare.  Ask for feedback so you can grow. Perhaps in an email or on cards handed out at the study, have everyone write down three things you did well and one thing you could improve on. Don’t get defensive. Instead, show an openness to learn and grow.  Prayerfully consider launching a new group. This doesn’t need to happen overnight, but God’s heart is for this to take place over time. Not all Christians are called to be leaders or teachers, but we are all called to be “shepherds” of a few someday.  Share with your group what God is doing in your heart. God is searching for those whose hearts are fully his. Share your trials and victories. We promise that people will relate.  Prayerfully consider whom you would like to pass the baton to next week. It’s only fair.

God is ready for the next member of your group to go on the faith journey you just traveled.

Make it fun, and expect God to do the rest.

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LEADERSHIP TRAINING 101

C

ongratulations! You have responded to the call to help shepherd Jesus’ flock. There are few other tasks in the family of God that surpass the contribution you will be making. As you prepare to lead, whether it is one session or the entire series, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind. We encourage you to read these and review

them with each new discussion leader before he or she leads.

1. Remember that you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and He knew that you would be asked to lead your group. Remember that it is common for all good leaders to feel that they are not ready to lead. Moses, Solomon, Jeremiah and Timothy were all reluctant to lead. God promises, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you are leading for one evening, for several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve.

2. Don’t try to do it alone. Pray right now for God to help you build a healthy leadership

team. If you can enlist a co-leader to help you lead the group, you will find

your experience to be much richer. This is your chance to involve as many people as you can in building a healthy group. All you have to do is call and ask people to help. You’ll probably be surprised at the response.

3. Just be yourself. If you won’t be you, who will? God wants you to use your unique gifts and temperament. Don’t try to do things exactly like another leader; do them in a way that fits you! Just admit it when you don’t have an answer, and apologize when you make a mistake. Your group will love you for it, and you’ll sleep better at night!

4. Prepare for your meeting ahead of time. Review the session and the leader’s notes, and write down your responses to each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask group members to do something other than engage in discussion. These exercises will help your group live what the Bible teaches, not just talk about it. Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper and pens) to your meeting. If the exercise employs one of the items in the appendix, be sure to look over that item so you’ll know how it works. Finally, review “Outline for Each Session” so you’ll remember the purpose of each section in the study.

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5. Pray for your group members by name. Before you begin your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for each member by name. You may want to review the prayer list at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person uniquely. Expect God to lead you to whomever He wants you to encourage or challenge in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead!

6. When you ask a question, be patient. Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or two of silence to think about the question. Keep in mind, if silence doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother anyone else. After someone responds, affirm the response with a simple “thanks” or “good job.” Then ask, “How about somebody else?” or “Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?” Be sensitive to new people or reluctant members who aren’t ready to say, pray or do anything. If you give them a safe setting, they will blossom over time.

7. Provide transitions between questions. When guiding the discussion, always read aloud the transitional paragraphs and the questions. Ask the group if anyone would like to read the paragraph or Bible passage. Don’t call on anyone, but ask for a volunteer, and then be patient until someone begins. Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud.

8. Break up into smaller groups each week or they won’t stay. If your group has more than seven people, we strongly encourage you to have the group gather sometimes in discussion circles of three or four people during the Hear God’s Story or Change Your Story sections of the study. With a greater opportunity to talk in a small circle, people will connect more with the study, apply more quickly what they’re learning and ultimately get more out of it. A small circle also encourages a quiet person to participate and tends to minimize the effects of a more vocal or dominant member. It can also help people feel more loved in your group. When you gather again at the end of the section, you can have one person summarize the highlights from each circle. Small circles are also helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying aloud will feel more comfortable trying it with just two or three others. Also, prayer requests won’t take as much time, so circles will have more time to actually pray. When you gather back with W H O S A Y S ? | 115

the whole group, you can have one person from each circle briefly update everyone on the prayer requests. People are more willing to pray in small circles if they know that the whole group will hear all the prayer requests.

9. Rotate facilitators weekly. At the end of each meeting, ask the group who should lead the following week. Let the group help select your weekly facilitator. You may be perfectly capable of leading each time, but you will help others grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunities to lead. You can use the Life Group Calendar to fill in the names of all meeting leaders at once if you prefer.

10. One final challenge (for new or first time leaders): Before your first opportunity to lead, look up each of the five passages listed below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help yourself develop a shepherd’s heart. Trust us on this one. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first meeting.  Matthew 9:36  1 Peter 5:2–4  Psalm 23  Ezekiel 34:11–16  1 Thessalonians 2:7–8, 11–12

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NOTES

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WHO SAYS? WE MAKE CHOICES AND DECISIONS EVERY DAY based on beliefs or assumptions that became part of our thinking a long time ago. Those

PATTERNS were built into our minds by family, friends, circumstances, and other sources that we trusted without ever asking if they were right and true. Many of them were good lessons; some were not. The wrong and false thinking has to be UNLEARNED somewhere along the way.

Here’s your opportunity.

Pastor Rob King has written a book and recorded a teaching series to help explore five specific areas in which you may have to unlearn some bad lessons from the past. Using the Bible as the ultimate check for our thinking, these sessions will help clarify WHAT WE BELIEVE and WHY

WE BELIEVE IT.

ROB KING is the Senior Pastor of Vineyard Cincinnati in Cincinnati, Ohio. The Vineyard is a growing multi-site church with 6,000 people in attendance. Rob is focused on sharing the gospel message and encouraging people to passionately follow Christ.

Rob began serving as Senior Pastor in 2013. He is a graduate of Illinois State University with a background in social work prior to entering full-time ministry in 1997. Rob and his wife Stephanie have three children, Jenna, Peyton, and Caleb.