Light & Life Magazine

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Spiritual and Emotional

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he vision of the Free Methodist Church – USA is “to bring wholeness to the world through healthy biblical communities of holy people multiplying disciples, leaders, groups and churches” (fmcusa.org/uniquelyfm).

When FM leaders talk about “healthy biblical communities,” they aren’t talking primarily about the physical health of church members. I’m confident our leaders want physical health for all of us, but a healthy biblical community may include multiple people with physical illnesses.

“The Local Church” section of the “Book of Discipline” refers to “the spiritual health of the congregation.” If the local church deals with spiritual health, why would LLM devote an issue to emotional health?

According to “The Emotionally Healthy Church” authors

Peter Scazzero and Warren Bird, “emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable. It is not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.”

As psychologist and FM elder Anthony J. Headley reveals in this issue’s feature article, the Bible contains many references to emotions. Emotions can affect both spiritual and mental wellness. According to the National Institutes of Health, “mental health includes our emotional, psychological and social well-being” (fmchr.ch/nihmental).

What is your local church doing to improve emotional health? Share Finley your story at fmcusa.org/yourstory i Jeff Managing Editor and facebook.com/fmcusa. [LLM]

EXTRA! EXTRA! Read more about emotional health at llcomm.org

1] Do you use QR codes?

Scan this box with your smartphone to read more articles on this issue’s theme.

2] More Discipleship Jill Richardson, Jennifer Finley and Kathleen A. Trissel share their perspectives with a new article each week in June.

3] Write for Us If you’re interested in writing for LLM, visit

llcomm.org/writersguidelines.

“In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.” — John 1:4

LLM LIGHT & LIFE MAGAZINE

Developing Earnest Christians Since 1868

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Jeff Finley Erin Eckberg Michael Metts Dawn McIlvain Stahl Andrea Anibal Julie Innes Jason Archer Ben Weesies Jay Cordova

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To receive Light & Life in Spanish, please contact our office: (800) 342-5531 or ben.weesies@fmcusa.org.

LLM | Jun 2013

Website: www.llcomm.org Email us: www.llcomm.org/staff News and submissions: jeff.finley@fmcusa.org Advertising: ben.weesies@fmcusa.org Address all correspondence to: Light & Life Magazine, 770 N. High School Rd., Indianapolis, IN 46214 (317) 244-3660 LLM: Light & Life Magazine (ISSN 0024-3299) was established in 1868 by the Free Methodist Church. Published monthly by Light & Life Communications. © 2013 Free Methodist Church – USA, 770 N. High School Road, Indianapolis, IN 46214. Views expressed in articles do not necessarily represent the official position of the Free Methodist Church. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations, no portion of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without written permission of the publisher. All Scripture quotations are from the New International Version unless otherwise indicated.

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Postmaster, send address changes to: Light & Life Magazine, 770 N. High School Rd., Indianapolis, IN 46214

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n God’s economy, emotional health is part of a package deal. It is best understood in the broader context of God’s desire for human wholeness and well-being evident in the concept of shalom. This God-desired wholeness encapsulates all of human life, including the spiritual, relational, physical and emotional.

BY ANTHONY J. HEADLEY

But what is emotional health? Emotions and emotional health are such multidimensional concepts that they defy simple, precise and consistent definition. Even seasoned researchers and clinical experts differ in their descriptions. The term “emotional health” often involves different focuses than one would expect. uuu

3 [feature] Some studies examine the role of emotions in enhancing or damaging health or the negative influence of stress on emotional health. By the sheer number of studies, many researchers seem far more interested in negative than positive emotions. This does not mean a person should lose interest in these concepts. Although difficult to define, most people know humans possess the capacity for emotional life.

The Bible confirms this psychological aspect. The narrative of Adam and Eve’s fall in Genesis 3 contains early reference to shame and fear.

This narrative affirms emotional life even if it demonstrates a disordered emotional life. In fact, it suggests emotions as barometers of the spiritual life; negative emotions like shame and fear can serve as early signals of a person’s spiritual state. Emotions are like messengers bringing to awareness matters of which we might not be fully cognitive.

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Beyond this example, who can ignore the highly charged emotional language of the Psalms? Biblical passages confirm the fundamental importance of emotions as an essential part of the fabric of human life created by God. In fact, many people see the psychological, including the emotional, as functioning hand-inhand with the spiritual.

Emotions are not frivolous and extraneous additions to human life.

Emotions are fundamental to effectively coping with life. A person functions better when emotionally healthy.

What does emotional health look like? What are some markers indicating its presence?

Impulse Control

One marker involves impulse control.

In “Emotional Intelligence,” Daniel Goleman links emotional life to impulse. In fact, he sees impulse as the medium of emotion and the core of impulse as a feeling bursting to express itself.

But acting purely on impulse driven by an emotional state can produce devastating consequences.

Emotional health involves awareness and appropriate management of a person’s emotions. John Wesley believed this. He acknowledged that failing to regulate one’s passions and emotions could contribute to problems such as depression.

Emotional Range

Emotional health also involves an appropriate ratio of negative and positive emotions. Some might be tempted to associate it only with positive emotions, but emotional health involves the capacity to experience a wide range of emotions as befits the situation.

Just think how unfortunate it would be if individuals could not experience sadness or sorrow in the face of significant loss. What if a person committed a sinful act and could not feel appropriate guilt? What if a

[feature] 4 person could not find joy in marrying a spouse, watching the birth of a child or embracing a long-absent loved one? Life would be drab indeed.

No wonder the Bible depicts humans experiencing the gamut of emotional life! Christian maturity might not require constricting emotional life through lopping off all negative emotions. It just might involve the expansion and regulation of a person’s emotional repertoire.

Wesley seemed to affirm this point. In his second discourse on the Sermon on the Mount, he noted God did not desire to extinguish the emotions and passions. Rather, He desired to regulate them by faith and love. When so regulated, even emotions such as hatred, anger and fear can be meaningfully and properly engaged against sin.

Emotional Flexibilit y

Emotional health also seems related to an emotion’s duration.

Imagine a person who stays in a perpetual state of seething anger.

Though the anger might have been legitimate, prolonged anger signals lack of emotional health. Perhaps this partly explains Paul’s statement: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26).

What about the individual who gets stuck on cloud nine in a giddy state of happiness? Does this also indicate poor emotional health and the unnecessary constriction of emotional life? Although high levels of positive emotions appear related to emotional health, getting stuck even in a positive emotional state would appear unhealthy. People who respond flexibly to varying circumstances seem to exhibit greater emotional health.

How to Respond

If emotional health is part of God’s design, how does a person cooperatively respond? First, accept emotional life and capacities as gifts

Emotions are fundamental to effectively coping wit h life.

A person functions better when emotionally healthy. of God. Second, responsibly steward and guard these gifts. This stewardship begins with owning emotions. No doubt, you have heard someone say something like: “She made me angry.”

Instead of owning the emotion, this approach shifts the responsibility to another person. Sometimes, current emotions are blamed on people from the past to excuse a failure to grapple with those emotions in the present. Past experiences play a role, but accepting personal responsibility for present emotions opens a path to healing.

LLM | Jun 2013

5 [feature] Third, train the emotions. A person can train emotions negatively or positively. Always acting angrily encourages anger and teaches an individual to become an angry person. Learning to control anger trains one in a wider and more appropriate emotional and behavioral response.

Participation in the means of grace also aids emotional life. Scripture reading from Proverbs and other wisdom literature (such as Job, Psalms

and Ecclesiastes) can help the development of impulse control. Through the Spirit’s efficacy, prayers and other means of grace foster growth in the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), including self-control, which is so vital to emotional life. Prudential means of grace such as counseling and other therapeutic activities can also promote healthy emotional growth.

God uses all legitimate means to bring people to growth in grace and

wholeness, even in emotional life. [LLM]

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Anthony J. Headley is an ordained Free Methodist elder, a licensed psychologist and a professor of counseling at Asbury Theological Seminary. His five books include the recently published “Getting It Right: Christian Perfection and Wesley’s Purposeful List,” which can be purchased at fmchr.ch/ajheadley.

Connect to the Free Methodist Church on iPhone, iPad, or Android.

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LLM | Jun 2013

[bishops] 6

Loved and Well

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od made us body, mind, spirit and soul. God wants us to be healthy and whole. Of course, we are neither naturally. In multiple ways, we experience the brokenness, disorder and disintegration found in the whole of creation.

Paul says that creation itself and God’s people, who are part of creation, groan in anticipation of full deliverance and renewal (Romans 8:21–23).

In the meantime, the saving and healing work of Jesus can bring us inner healing that properly orders our minds and emotions. Precisely how Jesus works to bring this order will vary from person to person. Even so, all that He does (and how He does it) flows from the love of God. Here are some basics for emotional healing and well-being.

God loves us no matter what, just as we are. Jesus proves God’s love by laying down His life for us and then by taking it back in rising from the dead. The life God offers is the life of love Jesus lives in us. Jesus’ invitation to follow Him, to walk with Him, is life in Jesus’ way of love.

The Spirit of Jesus and our Father-God pours into — floods — our hearts with Jesus’ love. In that love, we rest in God’s care. We know we have done nothing to deserve His loving care, but we receive it gladly. We understand that if we were loved even before we could know it, now — in Jesus’ company — that same love will support us, care for us and see us through. Safe and secure in God’s love, we have no need to worry or fear.

Thus, we are held and “on the mend.” We can be who God means us to be. We can experience fullness of joy, depths of contentment and triumphs of love in our everyday lives. We can know the peace that Jesus gives.

God loves us dearly and deeply. His love gives, sustains and empowers this life of love.

Jesus is the way and shows us the way. We trust and follow Him. We rest in Him and receive His help. We walk with Him into His love, joy and peace even in times of i Bishop David Kendall trouble, stress and pain. Jesus is our poise and confidence.

To read more from Bishop Kendall, visit Jesus provides what we need. Jesus can and does. In fmcusa.org/davidkendall.

Jesus, we are loved and well. [LLM] LLM | Jun 2013

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Healthy Biblical Community

BY DENNY WAYMAN

S C RI P T U R E : Genesis 2:18 Genesis 12 Matthew 4:18–22 Mark 1:16–34 Luke 5:1–11 1 Corinthians 12 Colossians 3:12–15

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he description of the church as a “healthy biblical community” is grounded in the truth of Scripture.

As early as Genesis 2, we find that human beings are created for relationship when God declares, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (v.18). This core descriptor is reinforced when God formed a community of people from the descendants of Abraham (Genesis 12) and worked for two millennia to teach them how to be holy, righteous and loving.

In the New Testament, Jesus demonstrates the need for a formative community when He calls the disciples out of the world and into His fellowship, a fellowship with whom He shares His teachings and His life (Matthew 4:18–22; Mark 1:16–34; Luke 5:1–11). Paul compares the church to a physical body with each individual Christian connected to the community as a whole for mutual life and health (1 Corinthians 12).

Within our Methodist tradition, John Wesley directly confirms this biblical truth: “‘Holy solitaries’ is a phrase no more consistent with the gospel than holy adulterers. The gospel of Christ knows no religion but social; no holiness but social holiness.”

What does it mean to be a healthy biblical community? We are the body of Christ in the flesh and in the world, living together in unity and serving others with love. We are nourished by God’s presence and empowered by the Holy Spirit to live as His dearly loved people, redeemed and becoming transformed into Christ’s likeness, treating one another respectfully and cooperatively as co-workers in God’s kingdom (Colossians 3:12–15).

When the church is a healthy community as described within Scripture, then God’s kingdom comes and His will is done. [LLM]

Denny Wayman is the lead superintendent of the Free Methodist Church in Southern California and the senior pastor of the Free Methodist Church of Santa Barbara.

LLM | Jun 2013

[history] 8

Discouragement

BY B.T. ROBERTS

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re you a child of God? Then what right have you to yield to discouragement?

A desponding heart is the almost certain harbinger to defeat.

An army that goes into battle with the expectation of being conquered was never known to be victorious. If you have doubts about your acceptance with God, get them settled. On your knees, repent, consecrate, believe!

Rest not till satisfied that you are sincerely and entirely and forever set apart to do and suffer the will of God in all things. Look for the evidence of your acceptance. Get it. It is for you. Be assured that you enjoy the divine favor.

Put on at once the whole armor of God. Inquire not as a matter of form, but with a sincere desire to obtain a reply, Lord what will you have me to do?

Get an answer. Then go to work.

Never suffer yourself to be discouraged. Discouragement, to one who is doing the work of the Lord, is of the devil. It should be resisted like any other temptation. He will try to discourage you: 1. In relation to your own religious experience.

2. In your business.

3. In laboring for the salvation of souls.

Are you a minister? Has God called you to preach? And are you discouraged? You who should be rallying the hosts of God to battle and infusing a spirit of courage into the most timid!

Do not be discouraged. If you meet with difficulty, opposition or persecution, face it. Look up. Discouragement is of the devil. Have nothing to do with it. [LLM]

B.T. Roberts (Photo courtesy of Marston Memorial HIstorical Center)

This is a condensed version of an article that Roberts, a principal founder of the Free Methodist Church, wrote for the October 1860 issue of The Earnest Christian, which he edited. To download the issue that includes Roberts’ full article, visit fmchr.ch/btdiscouraged.

LLM | Jun 2013

BY JEFF FINLEY

A.J.

French had “what a lot of people would consider the perfect life” with a husband, children, a large home and a swimming pool, but then her life changed dramatically.

“Our marriage did not work out. I got very, very sick. At first, I did not know I was very, very sick,” French said. uuu

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Photo by Logan Shaw

[action] 10 As she went through separation and divorce, she felt guilt for her children experiencing a broken home.

“I became angry with God for some of the decisions I had made, and I stopped going to church,” she said.

French eventually began reading her Bible regularly and attending the Bridge FMC in Glen Carbon, Ill. “I would like to be able to say that I went to church and everything got better, but that’s not what happened,” said French, who encountered nights with little sleep followed by a shocking experience.

“I hallucinated there was an angel with me. I followed the angel’s instructions and went to this person’s house and talked to them,” she said.

French entered a psychiatric hospital. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Her new church family didn’t forsake her. Bridge members cleaned her home while she was hospitalized.

She was told she would never work again because of psychiatric disability. Because she had no money to buy food, the Bridge sent refreshments home with her.

After she moved into public housing, her Bridge small group hosted a

dinner for the nearly 50 residents of the building.

A mental health group helped her apply for food stamps and linked her to additional services. She went through a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP). After taking a class, she became a facilitator to help other people with mental illness.

“The message they gave in this WRAP program is you should hold yourself in unconditional high regard.

You’re a sacred creation of God,” she said.

French founded Sacred Creations (sacredcreations.org), an organization operating throughout Illinois with a “mission to recognize and celebrate the strengths of individuals diagnosed with mental illnesses while providing housing and life recovery services.”

Her life verse is Psalm 118:17: “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.”

“I went from experiencing homelessness to living in public housing.

With help from my family, today I own my own home,” French said.

She served as the Bridge’s volunteer office coordinator and learned valuable career skills.

“I’m transitioning from disability income to earned income,” she said.

Hold yourself in unconditional high regard. You’re a sacred creation of God.

French is now a leading advocate for Illinois residents with mental illness. She meets frequently with state government leaders and is quoted regularly in the news media. Because state officials recognize spirituality as a key part of recovery, she freely shares God’s work in her life.

“I have the freedom to talk about Jesus Christ because that is what brings meaning and purpose to my life,” she said. [LLM]

For more of French’s story, go to fmchr.ch/ AJFrench.

LLM | Jun 2013

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Women Clergy “Rise Up”

BY KATHY CALLAHAN-HOWELL

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he YMCA of the Rockies provided the idyllic setting for 45 Free Methodists who gathered with hundreds of other women and men April 11-14 for the Wesleyan Holiness Women Clergy (WHWC) event Come to the Water.

This year’s theme, “Rise Up,” threaded throughout the event in the worship and speaking. Just walking outside between sessions lent reality to the theme as participants gazed at mountain peaks rising up toward heaven.

Gateway Conference Superintendent Lucia Delamarter preached on “Run With the Spirit,” telling us to “get in, sit down, shut up and hang on.”

She ended by encouraging those who desired to pick up the rock they had laid down and find that burden lighter and different than when they had given it to God. Other Free Methodists serving at the event included Diana Endicott and For in-depth Beth Cullison, who worked coverage, go to on the event’s planning fmchr.ch/ fmcometowater. committee, and Kristen LLM | Jun 2013

Markell and Beth Armstrong, who participated in the worship team.

Linda Scandrett Green presented a workshop titled “Responding to the GLBT Community,” and Kathy Callahan-Howell taught a workshop on “Exploring Publishing.”

Free Methodist participants gather for a photograph during the Free Methodist Wesleyan Holiness Women Clergy’s Come to the Water Conference.

(Photo courtesy of Kathy Callahan-Howell) livelihood ministry this year’s event will provide scholarSEED provided beautiful bead ships for those who cannot afford to necklaces to use as lanyards for the participate without financial assisevent. As each woman registered, tance. If you would like to contribute she chose a necklace to wear with to this fund that benefits FM sisters her nametag and to keep as a gift serving under-resourced churches, from SEED. Rose Brewer and Tasha consider making a donation to Pryor brought a full display of SEED WHWC at fmchr.ch/whwcdonate. products. Linda Adams provided an FM women clergy and candidates can International Child Care Ministries also join a Facebook group at (ICCM) booth with fmchr.ch/whwcfb. [LLM] opportunities to sponsor children.

Come to the Water will reconvene in two years. Offerings collected at

[news] 12 DELAMARTER ELECTED WHWC PRESIDENT Estes Park, Colo.

Gateway Conference Superintendent Lucia Delamarter has been elected to a twoyear term as president of Wesleyan Holiness Women Clergy, which encourages and equips women called to vocational Christian ministry. Delamarter is the FM representative to the WHWC board of directors. Visit fmchr.ch/luciawhwc for expanded coverage.

CHURCH CELEBRATES 100TH ANNIVERSARY Wenatchee, Wash.

The Wenatchee FMC, planted in central Washington scrublands by homesteading Nebraskans, celebrates its 100th anniversary June 23. It has grown from a $600 ramshackle building and four charter members to a source of denominational leaders, including two bishops, and a 15-acre campus with an average Sunday attendance of 1,200. Visit wenfmc.org for details.

AUTHOR SPEAKS AT FOOTHILL Azusa, Calif.

Award-winning author and popular blogger Rachel Held Evans spoke March 8 at Foothill Community Church about her recent best-selling book, “A Year of Biblical Womanhood.” The event was part of the “Science, Faith and Culture” lecture series sponsored by Azusa Pacific University’s Center for Research in Science.

WMI TO RESCHEDULE SUMMIT Spring Arbor, Mich.

Unforeseen circumstances and scheduling conflicts made it necessary for the Women’s Ministries International (WMI) board to make the difficult decision to reschedule the Leadership Summit planned for June 7–9. A new date had not been set by press time.

Visit fmchr.ch/wmirescheduled to read WMI President LaWanda Bullock’s statement.

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The Rest of the Story Want to find indepth stories of remarkable Free Methodists?

Visit fmcusa.org.

We want to hear from you!

Tell us what your church is doing to impact lives in the United States and around the world.

Submit your story at fmcusa.org/ yourstory.

LLM | Jun 2013

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Hope and Healing in Hungary

BY LARRY AND KATIE WINCKLES

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year ago, János appeared at the Budapest Ministry Center after an absence of several years. He came with sad news.

His wife, Andi, had died from exposure during cold weather. She left their home one morning and never returned. She was found the next day on a park bench where she apparently sat down to rest, fell asleep and froze.

Her death served as a wake-up call. János and Andi had struggled with dependencies all of their lives, so much so that they became homeless and had their children removed from their care. They had recently started to pull the pieces of their lives back together and had received housing from the local government.

János turned to the Lord in his grief but also János, Szabolcs, Attila and Géza faithfully attend church and a weekly Bible study returned to alcohol. Many people from the church in Budapest, Hungary. (Photo courtesy of Larry and Katie Winckles) tried to comfort János, especially Péter, who visited him faithfully. participating in the ministry center’s weekly Bible study.

János eventually stopped coming to church serHe started helping out in the church. vices. He lost his flat because he couldn’t pay the rent. He János was able to reconnect with his stepson, started begging on the street. Everyone (except Péter) Szabolcs, and encouraged him to come to church. Then seemed ready to give up on János. he convinced his roommate, Attila, to come along. And Then a miracle happened! With Péter’s then he brought along another homeless friend, Géza. All encouragement and help, János sought a four men are now faithful attenders of the church and the place in a charitable foundation’s long-term weekly Bible study. residential recovery program with one big Visit fmchr.ch/winckles Their church fellowship’s warm embrace has played an condition for admission: He had to stop to learn more about FM important part in their feeling a part of a family. [LLM] drinking.

He agreed. missionaries Larry and Katie Winckles.

He re-engaged with the church and began LLM | Jun 2013

[discipleship] 14

The Relaxation Response

BY DONALD E. DEMARAY

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he surrendered person is at liberty to take life in stride and laugh at oneself.

My late friend Dr. James Moss, professor of orthodontics and head of his department at the University of London’s College of Dentistry, packed an immense amount of work into his life. He traveled the globe presiding at meetings and sharing knowledge from his experiences.

People asked, “James, how do you do it all?” He replied, “I just do it. I don’t take myself seriously. People wear masks. They try to be perfect; they work so hard to get to the top. I don’t care whether I get to the top. I’m just myself.”

Everybody felt comfortable around him. He wasted no energy hiding behind a self-protective and successful persona. Thus liberated, he served with abandon not only as a dental surgeon and professor but also as father, husband, church elder and lay preacher.

How do we stop taking ourselves with undue seriousness? How do we rid ourselves of the “I’ve got to make it to the top rung of the ladder” posture that contributes to burnout?

Cartoonists help us laugh at ourselves, taking away the onus of awful mustness. So do humorists such as P.G. Wodehouse, who may have lived to 93 because of his relaxed state of mind.

A good laugh may clear away feelings of early burnout as morning sun burns off the soupy fog that engulfs us on our way to work. [LLM]

Donald E. Demaray, a Free Methodist elder, is the senior Beeson professor of biblical preaching, emeritus, at Asbury Theological Seminary. His latest book is “Rekindled: Rising From the Ashes of Burnout” from which this article is adapted. Visit fmchr.ch/demaray for more information on Demaray and the book.

GROUP DISCUSSION: [1] Do you agree with Erma Bombeck’s statement that humor “could save your life … particularly when you’re faced with a situation that you think you just cannot handle”?

[2] How has humor rekindled your life?

Did you know a new discipleship article is posted to our website each week? The four monthly articles are perfect for use in your small group or as a weekly supplement to individual study.

LLM | Jun 2013

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“THE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CHURCH” Peter Scazzero and Warren Bird share about the link between emotional health, relational depth and spiritual maturity: fmchr.ch/scazzero.

“PUTTING AWAY CHILDISH THINGS” David Seamands offers tips to reach for spiritual and emotional maturity in Christ: fmchr.ch/seamands.

[resources] Read more about emotional health in these books available from our partner, Wesleyan Publishing House.

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“UNGLUED” Lysa TerKeurst reveals how to make wise choices in the midst of raw emotions: fmchr.ch/terkeurst.

“YOU CAN CHANGE” Tim Chester helps Christians discover God’s transforming power for behavior and emotions: fmchr.ch/tchester.

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