Buttafuoco!

Long Island Lolita cries

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by Heather McAllister, Danielle D/Marco editor in chief, managing & perspectives editor

Complete Auto Body in Baldwin, Long Island (L.I.), was steaming with activity. Smashed-up vehicles were being re-assembled, but personalized lube jobs were the establishment's specialty. As family photos collected dust in a side office, the mechanic displayed his brown, hairy mole to an innocent little teen-ager.

The only decoration in the upstairs apartment room was a Superman sticker on the bed's headboard. The squeaking of the bedsprings was drowned out by the pulsating throb of an air gun in the shop downstairs. Sunlight glared through the window and accented the man ·s gray temples and beer gut, while the teen-ager anxiously chewed on the cuticle of her index finger.

"I'm f-ing starvin' ova heah, I'm dyin' fah a slice a pizza!" the petite vixen bellowed.

The two sauntered off to a nearby pizzeria. The burly loud-mouth with the blackand-white, lizard-skin cowboy boots got a piece of something all right, but it was not pizza.

The sexually aroused couple never arrived at the eatery. Instead, they made ·a pit stop at the Freeport Motor Inn and Boatel: The two satisfied their cravings in room 256. • Today, curious tourists from around the wor Id visit the room, searching for remnants (condoms, pizza crust) of the couple's tryst. The affair between L.I. 's Lethal Lolita, Amy Fisher, and the lust-driven, devoted husband, Joey Buttafuoco, has been confirmed.

Amy is serving a five-to-15-year prison sentence in Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for shooting Joey's wife, Mary Jo, in the head, on her front stoop.

On Monday, Nov. 15, Joey received the "maximum penalty allowed under an agreement, reached last month, when Mr. Buttafuoco pleaded guilty to third-degree rape."

Joey is behind bars for six months but can be released, for good behavior, in four moqths. He also is pinned with a $5,000 fine and a five-year probation. It is unknown if Joey will be permitted conjugal visits with

ICartoon

Mary Jo.

For months, Joey has been denying that he a.)had an affair with Amy Fisher; b.) had anything to do with Amy becoming a prostitute for ABBA escort service; c.) knew Amy was planning to shoot Mary Jo. However, six weeks ago, Joey changed his tune and admitted he did have sex with Amy, on a "continual basis:'

Joey_ said he and Amy shared "strictly lustful sex,., and that "sometimes lust takes me over. It's very painful."

Amy, on the other hand, insisted "I was not just a 16-year-old teen-ager taken to bed by a man twice my age. I was a 16-year-old teen-ager shown a world that I was not ready for, a world of elaborate spending and fast boats.

"This man took me to expensjve restaurants and cheap motels."

Apparently, the saga of Amy and Joey has come to a close. However, it remains to be seen if the three-ring media circus will accept this climatic ending or continue exhuming stories from Amy's and Joey's jail cells.

As Jong as people keep purchasing the novels "Lethal Lolita" or "Amy Fisher: My Story," watching re-runs of the three madefor-television movies or wearing $15 .Buttafuoco T-shirts, Amy and Joey will be together forever.

These wild, sex-crazed animals are behind bars, where they both belong.

Lethal love-triangle·

Joey Buttafuoco, 37:

Crime: Third-degree rape; had sex with Fisher when she was a minor

Sentence: Six months jail-time, $5,000 fine, five-year probation

Amy Fisher, 19:

Crime: Assault; shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco in head on front stoop

Sentence: Five-to-15 year jail-time

Mary Jo Buttafuoco, 36:

Crime: Painting lawn furniture on patio, answering the door

Sentence: Still married to Joey