Issue 7: Family & Staying Connected by PS Magazine

Family &

Staying Connected

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2014 ISSUE 007

LIFE STORIES: Everyone Has a Story to Tell

THE IMPORTANCE

of Forgiveness Bridging the Cultural Gap Between Generations

AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH

ROGER MOORE i

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PS Lifestyle salutes all members of our armed services on Veterans Day and every day.

ISSUE 007 NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2014

Family & Staying Connected

DEPARTMENTS 6 Remember When 10 Did You Know?

FEATURES

25 Real Stories of America. Real Stories of You. by Beth Sanders

28 Life Stories: Everyone Has a Story to Tell

35 Bridging the Cultural Gap Between Generations by Enuma Okoro

11 Health & Wellness: The Importance of Forgiveness 14 Life with The Eden Alternative: Seeking Belle Davenport 18 Dr. Lori: The Key to Good Memory Just Might Be Happy Hour 20 The Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging: Involving Your Loved One in Decision-Making 24 House Call with Dr. Kramps: Caregiving from Near and Far

38 Talking About My Generation: The Generational Divide

44 The Last Man Standing An Exclusive Interview with Roger Moore by Christina Burns

IN EVERY ISSUE 4

Letter from the Publisher

Games & Puzzles

52 Fun & Games 55 Horoscopes 61 Puzzle Solutions 64 The Last Laugh 3

LE T TE R FROM THE PUBLI SHE R The idea of family is, arguably, one of the most important universal threads that bind humans together. There are many dimensions to the concept of family that are very much rooted in the individual perceptions and realities of each person included. For example, some of us might strictly limit our version of family to our bloodline relations, while others might choose to extend the circle to close friends, or professional associates, or groups of people with shared values. Whatever the case may be, every person has some level of inclusion in at least one unit of family. As we explore in the pages of PS Magazine, Issue 007 (a wonderful coincidence and our nod to the exclusive interview we have with Sir Roger Moore), we recognize that while all families are unique unto themselves, they tend to share similar experiences and challenges that come naturally from dynamics such as (to name a few) aging and health, immigration, or economics. And, the key that enables families to adjust and adapt to life’s inevitable influences is communication. Whether defining a family genealogy, seeking forgiveness, or just rapping about the day’s weather, the more we communicate with other members in our family, the more we help cultivate potential to bridge divides which might otherwise separate us. Such efforts are, in my opinion, part of a shared responsibility we all have for each other. If we’re each a member of at least one family, then every person we encounter is really an opportunity to influence another family, which influences another… and so on. If you’ve been in Key West, Florida, sometime since January 2000, you’ve no doubt seen this philosophy emblazoned on a black-and-white bumper sticker: “All People are Created Equal Members of ONE HUMAN FAMILY.” I couldn’t agree more. Please enjoy this issue of PS Magazine, and please make an effort to stay connected with your family today.

Sincerely,

John Polatz Publisher and CEO 4

Salon PS LLC CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

John Polatz CO-FOUNDER

Scott Fisher EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT

Shelley Kondas PUBLISHER AND CEO

John Polatz EDITOR IN CHIEF

VICE PRESIDENT — ADMINISTRATION & LICENSING

Susan Polatz

Christina Burns

VICE PRESIDENT — FINANCE & ACCOUNTING

ART DIRECTOR

Ranae Lewis

Elle Chyun

VICE PRESIDENT — TECHNOLOGY

EDITORS AT LARGE

Dr. Lori Stevic-Rust Laura Beck, The Eden Alternative CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Katherine Adams Dr. Melissa Kramps Enuma Okoro Cristina Nascimento Patel Beth Sanders

Brandon Crafts

PS Magazine is published by Salon PS Magazine LLC Salon PS Magazine LLC 55 Public Square Suite 1180 Cleveland, OH 44113 Phone: (440) 600-1595 Fax: (440) 848-8560 © 2014 Salon PS Magazine LLC.All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. To order a subscription or to distribute PS Magazine at your business, contact info@salonps.com

VICE PRESIDENT — BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

Brian Goetz VICE PRESIDENT — BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

Kristin Hinkson

Cover: Roger Moore © Bembaron/ E. Robert/Corbis Sygma

DIRECTOR — PROCUREMENT & LOGISTICS

Kenish Patel DIRECTOR — HUMAN RESOURCES

Debra Moore

POP CULTURE, NEWS, AND EVENTS FROM PAST DECADES

Remember When... 1934

Dutch toymaker Ole Kirk Christiansen started his company, Lego, which he named from the Danish phrase leg godt, meaning “play well.” Big band musician Glenn Miller disappeared when his military plane went down in the English Channel. PHOTO: HULTON ARCHIVE/GETTY IMAGES

1944 Singing trio The Andrews Sisters hosted their own radio show, singing specially written commercial jingles for products such as Wrigley’s chewing gum, Campbell’s soups, and FrancoAmerican food products. PHOTO: JAMES KRIEGSMANN/MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/GETTY IMAGES

Anthony Pratt invented the classic “whodunnit” board game, Clue, then called Cluedo before Parker Brothers bought the US rights in 1949.

1954

1964

1974

The James Bond film Goldfinger was released, and in turn made 007’s car used in the film, the Aston Martin DB5, one of the most famous in the world. Entrepreneur Frank Swift’s well-bred, larger-than-typical frozen Butterball turkeys were introduced, and named for their broad breasts and plump, round shape.

GI Joe was marketed to boys as an “action figure” rather than a doll, which proved successful for the Hassenfeld Brothers (later Hasbro), accounting for twothirds of the company’s annual sales in the first year.

Muhammad Ali knocked out George Foreman in the 8th round of the “Rumble in the Jungle” boxing match in Zaire. PHOTO: STR/AFP/GETTY IMAGE

PHOTO: REUTERS

Songwriter Irving Berlin received a special Congressional Gold Medal from President Dwight D. Eisenhower for “God Bless America.”

Baileys Irish Cream was introduced as the first Irish whisky and cream-based liqueur on the market. PHOTO: ISTOCK

1984

1994

2004

Former boxing champion George Foreman began selling his Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine, which would become the largestselling household During his first run of appliance in the world. Jeopardy!, Ken Jennings won 74 games Boyds Bears were (in a row) before he was named after Boyds, defeated on his 75th Maryland, where the appearance. His creators began making winnings consisted of and selling the The movie that depicted over $2.5 million plus collectible resin and an additional $2,000 the fictional life of stuffed teddy bears. Forrest Gump, a slow- second-place prize. witted but good-hearted man from Alabama who witnessed some of the defining events from 1944 to 1982, was a massive success in the box office. Sony’s Discman, the Tom Brokaw retired world’s first portable from NBC Nightly CD player, was put on News after 22 years on the market and very the Nightly News desk shortly after, the and a 21-year run as concept of CD players the network’s chief was introduced. newsman. PHOTO: JEOPARDY PRODUCTIONS VIA GETTY IMAGES

PHOTO: PARAMOUNT PICTURES/SUPERSTOCK

PHOTO: KEN REGAN/NBC NEWSWIRE

Remember When...

PHOTO: MACY’S

A THANKSGIVING MORNING TRADITION THAT LIVES ON

Edmund Gwenn as Santa Claus in the 1946 Parade

he first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade took place in New York City in 1924, and was created by Macy’s department store employees. Many of the employees were first-generation European immigrants, and the parade was a nod to the tradition of festivals in their homelands. Four hundred employees dressed in traditional costumes and marched along with music bands, floats, balloons, live animals from the Central Park Zoo, and Santa Claus at the rear. That first year, an estimated quarter of a million spectators turned out. The parade continued to grow in popularity, and was eventually broadcast on local New York radio and then shown on national television beginning in 1948. Today, over three million people attend the parade and another 50 million watch it on television. 9

DID YOU KNOW FASCINATING FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL

In a 1961 interview with Life, President Kennedy listed From Russia, With Love as one of his favorite novels of all time. Book sales boomed, and that became the next Bond film. Reportedly, that was one of the last movies the President ever saw—he watched it one day before his trip to Dallas in 1963. Americans are putting off life’s big milestones: getting married and having a family. Today, the median age at first marriage is 29 for men and 27 for women—the highest in modern history. In 2013, 26% of people ages 18 to 32 were married. But in 1960, 65% of Americans in this age group were married. Mothers are also waiting longer to have children. In 1960, women ages 15 to 24 accounted for 40% of mothers with infants. By 2011, that number dropped to 22%. Ellis Island is named after Samuel Ellis, the last private owner of the island who operated a tavern catering to fishermen and sailors that conducted business on the harbor and surrounding waterways. After his death, Ellis’ heirs sold the island to the state of New York, and it was eventually transferred to the federal government. The poinsettia’s association with Christmas can be traced back to a Mexican legend, when a poverty-stricken brother and sister left a bouquet of weedy branches as a gift to the Christ Child at their church. While other children laughed at their meager offering, soon a cluster of red star-shaped flowers began to bloom on each stem. The flowers were known as Flores de Noche Buena (Flowers of the Holy Night), and later named as poinsettia after the US Minister to Mexico, Joel Roberts Poinsett. 10

HEALTH & WELLNESS

The

IMPORTANCE of Forgiveness The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. —Mahatma Gandhi All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections

DINODIA PHOTOS/GETTY IMAGES

very one of us has been hurt or betrayed in our lifetimes. Sometimes, the person is repentant and deeply sorry for their transgression. At other times, there is never any indication of regret, leaving us with anger and bitter resentment. The best that many of us can hope for is to move on and let the pain fade with the passing of time. It’s even more of a challenge to hope the pain will just recede and disappear if we still have the person who has wronged us in our lives, whether by choice or by circumstance. Our natural inclinations lean toward tit for tat. We feel that wrongs can’t be made right unless 11

the person feels how we feel, through experiencing the same kind of betrayal, or until the person expresses a deep and true remorse over the incident. If either doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t occur, we hold on to our grudges. Most of us live this way, accumulating memories of past wrongs that we can pull out as examples when needed. You may even know people who enjoy their anger and share it with their friends as if war wounds. Why, then, if it is normal to have these feelings, should we forgive the people who have hurt us? The first thing to understand is that forgiveness is not done for the sake of the transgressor. Forgiveness is something one does for oneself. It is finding peace with what has happened in the past and making the choice to leave it there. Many are unaware just how much resentment can affect their lives in an ongoing way. It has the potential to strain our current relationships, making us tense. Anger and bitterness contribute to feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression, feelings that may be detrimental to our health, causing high blood pressure, alcohol and substance abuse, and heart problems. Studies have also shown that people 12

who live with resentment have shorter lives than those who have forgiven others. Scientists at Duke University have conducted research demonstrating that of patients with chronic back pain, the ones who have incorporated forgiveness into their lives reported lower pain levels than those who held on to their anger toward others. These and other studies into emotional well-being are continually lending scientific credibility to the notion of a mind-body connection, whereby positive thoughts can help the body to cope with disease and discomfort, ward against health problems, and sometimes even heal itself. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to let go of hurt, which is what makes forgiveness so difficult. So how do we do it? Forgiveness is not something that can always be achieved simply by wishing it to happen. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a process and can take time. Perhaps we need counseling help to confront pain and overcome it. Sometimes, merely putting our feelings in words, either by expressing them to the person who has wronged us, or by talking to someone who will listen without judging, can really accelerate the sense of letting it go. Or, writing your emotions in a letter,

DESIGNPICS/SUPERSTOCK

whether it is ever sent to the transgressor or if it is torn up and thrown away in a symbolic gesture, can provide relief. Also, when possible, we can learn from what happened. Forgiveness is not the same as condoning what happened, and the silver lining of any emotional turmoil is the self-knowledge and wisdom that can be obtained in processing the events and the resulting emotions. Perhaps most useful of all is incorporating forgiveness into our daily lives. For the betterment of ourselves, and hopefully our world, we can cultivate compassion and empathy. That means actively not feeling slighted by the person who cut us off in traffic, the hurtful

gossiper, the rude restaurant server, and not allowing ourselves to get angry toward people who are just plain inconsiderate. Our feelings, even when justified, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hurt or shame them in the least (or at least they rarely do, no matter how much we may wish it). They only affect us. Anger is the bitter acid in our stomachs, the raised blood pressure in our veins. Why would we let them do that to us? Why would we do that to ourselves? Martin Luther King, Jr. said that forgiveness is not an act, but a continuous attitude. It is there that the seeds lie that can lighten our hearts and bring peaceâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and a healthier body, too. 13

LIFE WITH THE EDEN ALTERNATIVE

Belle Davenport

by LAURA BECK

Seeking

come from a long line of headstrong women. On my mother’s side, these iron-willed souls settled corners of the Central Texas Hill Country, where, to this day, I can still bump into cousins I’ve never had the pleasure to meet. It was no surprise, then, when this same determination spurred my 28-year-old niece to unravel some enduring family mysteries. Rian hadn’t signed up to be the family genealogist. She was called. Gathered around the kitchen table in 2006, she and two of my sisters were chatting about the family tree. A child of the Google age, Rian found herself itching to fill the gaps in the stories she had just heard. With a spiral notebook in hand, she took the leap the next day, full of questions for my then 81-year-old mother. So began Rian’s fascination with the Davenport women—Belle, Allie, and Gloria—three generations of bold, courageous beings that offered her an unexpected glimpse into herself. “Every day, I find a piece of them in me. When I was little, I always loved yellow roses, and I didn’t know why,” Rian shares. “Twenty years later, I find out that my great-grandmother, Allie, was famous for her

yellow roses. And when I read divorce testimony from Belle’s husband about my great-great-grandmother’s fiery nature, I see so much of me there and my hot-headed moments.” It is Belle’s story, or its lack of detail, that has been especially compelling for Rian. In an era when women had few rights of their own, Belle made choices that stood out as radical and unsuitable for a woman of her time. Understanding the story beneath the story—what drove Belle to live as she did—has long been a topic of family speculation. Rian’s desire to learn more led her to rally fellow Davenports to revive their defunct annual family reunion in Central Texas. “I had so many questions, they finally decided to round people up in one place to get me some answers,” she says. Six years later the Davenport family reunion is still going strong each October. What began as a quest for Belle Davenport has evolved into discovering the power of family ties. Rian’s sleuthing revealed she had lots of extended family living only a stone’s throw away. “The time I’ve spent listening to the elders of the family has changed my life,” she notes. “I’m jaw-dropped 15

Rian at the Davenport family cemetery in Selma, Texas

all of the time by their stories, their strength, their courage—they have literally lived the history that I learned in my school books. These details are like found treasure to me. Finding my family, both the living and long-gone, has sort of ‘cemented’ me and given me purpose.” Over time, Rian’s deepening relationships with the older Davenports revealed another valuable legacy—something The Eden Alternative affirms that every elder 16

has to share, no matter how old they are or what challenges they live with. “My generation tends to move so fast and is so quick to respond. If I were to tell someone my age why it’s valuable to sit with someone older than myself, I’d tell them it’s about learning to just absorb what’s said, learn to be, and let things unfold. There is something that connects us all… and these elders know what it is, they’ve seen it…

and they know better than we do how to access it.” This sense of connectedness is one of seven vital experiences that The Eden Alternative says is crucial to our well-being. These seven Domains of Well-Being, as they’re called, continue to be relevant to our experience of everyday life, no matter what phase of life we are in. Over the last eight years, Rian has found that the sense of connectedness she’s developed with her newfound family members is as much about a sense of place, as it is about relationships. “Ten years ago, I was more restless, anxious to move on to another place or city. But now, I feel so at peace. Getting to know my heritage has helped me find me,” notes Rian, who was born in San Francisco, and due only to a twist of fate, ended up living near the family again in Texas at a young age. Fate reared its head again, when she discovered that for nearly all her life, she’d been living only ten minutes away from the old Davenport family cemetery. Situated off a highway she’d driven down a thousand times before, she discovered a stretch of land with

Getting to know my heritage has helped me find me. an old weathered farm house amidst a modern day, cookie cutter subdivision. Closer inspection revealed a lonely, wrought-iron gateway with the name “Davenport” arched across the top, and beyond it, the resting place of her long-lost relations. “The stories of my ancestors just seem to find me and give me the sense that I am right where I am supposed to be,” reflects Rian. “If you told me eight years ago that I was going to spend years talking to a lot of older people to get a few answers, I would have said, ‘Heck no, I don’t have time for this.’ But making time for this… it’s what has made me whole.” Laura Beck is the Learning and Development Guide for The Eden Alternative, an international, nonprofit organization focused on creating quality of life for Elders and their care partners. For more information about The Eden Alternative, go to www.edenalt.org. 17

Doctor Lori Stevic-Rust

THE KEY TO

GOOD MEMORY Just Might Be HAPPY HOUR

o you struggle with remembering certain circumstances or exactly when they occurred? Do you worry that your memory is beginning to fail? Then drop what you are doing, run to the nearest happy hour, and enjoy a glass of wine or better yet, a chocolate martini. New research has shown that for those age 60 and over who do not have a diagnosis of dementia, consuming a modest amount of

alcohol can improve the volume in the hippocampus of the brain, which leads to better memory. The findings from this study support prior research that has shown that alcohol consumption in later life can lead to nerve cell regeneration in the hippocampus, therefore improving episodic memory. Episodic memory is a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ability to recall events or circumstances in their lives, such as remembering where you were or what you were doing when you heard about President Kennedyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assassination, the 9/11 attacks, or the name of your second grade teacher. Episodes of oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life that are tied to an emotion tend to be recorded and then stored in longterm memory that when activated by a smell, an image, or a word, can be brought into our awareness and subsequently recalled. Circumstances or events that are not particularly tied to an emotion tend to be lost before encoded into our long-term memory bank. It appears that drinking in moderation in our later years keeps this important area of the brain active and

functional, allowing us to remember more of those important events or episodes in our lives. For those under the age of 60, there is no evidence that getting a head start on drinking now will yield the same effects. In fact, drinking too much in earlier years can actually do damage to the brain and subsequently hasten or cause the condition of dementia. So, timing seems to be important when it comes to drinking. Another ingredient that appears to be protective of the brain is dark chocolate. A neurologist at Columbia University Medical Center confirmed that subjects who drank a drink high in flavanol, which is the important ingredient in dark chocolate, performed like people who were up to thirty years younger on memory tasks. However, there is a cautionary message in the study. In order to yield positive memory benefits from chocolate, you would need to consume roughly 300 grams of dark chocolate a day, which is the equivalent of seven candy bars or 100 grams of unsweetened cocoa powder. In addition, milk

chocolate, which is found in most candy bars, has essentially no flavanol and therefore does not carry the same health benefits as dark chocolate. Finally, there are decades of solid research to remind us that staying connected with friends and remaining social is critical for the health of our brain. Social interactions on a regular basis stimulate the learning and memory centers of the brain and keep those neurons firing. Maintaining social interactions also prevents certain forms of depression which can interfere with memory. Depression robs us of the ability to concentrate and focus, which in turn prevents information from being successfully encoded in the brain and thereby leading to memory impairments. The key to keeping our minds healthy and our memory sharp may be as simple as staying connected to others, drinking alcohol in moderation, and enjoying dark chocolate as often as possible. So, kick back, grab a friend and a dark chocolate martini, and drink to a healthy memory. 19

THE BENJAMIN ROSE INSTITUTE ON AGING

Involving

Your Loved One

in Decision-Making

hanks to modern medical procedures, research, and public awareness, people with dementia are being diagnosed earlier than in the past. As a result, people with memory loss have the opportunity to learn about their symptoms and diagnosis, and prepare for future changes in their ability to function. If you have earlystage dementia and are being cared for by a family member, they may be inclined to make important decisions on your behalf. Your loved one may not realize that you can still make decisions and voice preferences for your care. 20

Families may believe that their relative with dementia is unable to state consistent preferences, or that the person simply does not want to be bothered with making decisions. Often, well-meaning family members intervene because they think they are helping their loved one. Research has shown, however, that many people with dementia prefer to be involved in decision-making, and that people with mild-tomoderate dementia are able to consistently express their preferences for care. These preferences include decisions about keeping the same doctor, asking for help from certain

family members or friends, and wanting to feel useful. People with dementia are also capable of choosing who they would like to make decisions for them if they are unable to make decisions themselves. Involving your loved one in routine daily care decisions, such as deciding what to wear, eat, or when to get up, can be helpful. Many studies show that people with dementia who are involved in these daily decisions say that their quality of life is better, they feel less depressed, and they feel less strain in their relationships with their caregivers. Physicians or other health professionals may assume that family members are most able to answer questions on behalf of dementia patients. Although well-meaning practitioners may believe family caregivers are the most knowledgeable about the person with dementia, in actuality the best source of information is the patient. Be sure to maintain good communication with the person that cares for you. Make sure they understand your values and preferences for care, and build a network of support that can be used now and in

the future. There are also programs available to help caregivers maintain a good relationship with the person in their care, such as the SHARE program (Support Health Activities Resources & Education) from the Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging, which helps individuals with dementia talk about their preferences so that their wishes are respected throughout the course of their care.

The Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging (www.benrose.org) is a nationally recognized nonprofit addressing the important issues of aging through service, research, and advocacy. As a champion for older adults, Benjamin Rose works to advance their health, independence, and dignity.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Information on SHARE and other evidence-based programs supporting caregivers: www.benrose.org/research Tips for communicating with individuals with dementia: www.caregiver.org/ communication-dementia 21

HOUSE CALLS WITH DR. KRAMPS

Caregiving

from NEAR

and FAR

by MELISSA KRAMPS, DNP

hether you live around the corner or in another state, caring for a loved one has challenges. Many belong to the “sandwich generation,” those caring for children and aging parents. I often have to adjust appointments with my patients to accommodate their child’s work schedule or to coordinate it for when he or she is in town. There are times I conduct office visits while children are on speakerphone. Frequently, my office visits are followed by a telephone call or email with the patient’s family member. There are a variety of ways to ensure your safety if you live apart from a primary care giver. A 22

personal emergency response system can provide families peace of mind, even if you cannot reach the telephone. Some systems come equipped with an accelerometer that can detect if a fall may have occurred. I also have a few patients whose families installed cameras inside the home. Caregivers are able to see how often their parents are eating, if they are losing their balance in the home, how much they sleep, and how they spend their days. A non-camera option would be to install sensors which can detect movement. Sensors are also made that can detect floods, use of door locks, and level of thermostat. The data can

be transmitted to a computer or mobile device and alarm parameters can be set up to alert a family member of a potential problem. Geriatric Care Managers (GCMs) are a wonderful resource, especially for families providing care from a distance. GCMs are professionals, usually trained in social work, nursing, gerontology, or psychology,

who help families care for relatives. GCMs can provide assistance with a variety of things, they can accompany the patient to doctorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appointments, keep a current list of their medications, and organize and update a medical history record. The GCM can be the liaison between the medical team and the family, act as an advocate for the patient, and/or 23

coach the family or other caregivers in how to provide the best care for the patient. GCMs can help hire home health aides and manage their schedules, they can oversee bill payment, assist in the Medicaid application process, or connect you with entitlement programs. They are knowledgeable about local resources such as adult day care centers or respite programs. There are benefits to both the patient and family, including personalized care and accessibility. The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers has a search feature on its website, www.caremanager.org, or you can call (520) 881-8008.

Melissa Kramps, DNP, NP-C, GNP-BC is a board certified nurse practitioner in adult health and gerontology who earned her Doctor of Nursing Practice degree from Columbia University School of Nursing. She has experience in hospital medicine, primary care and teaching. Dr. Kramps currently works in neurology at the Weill Cornell Memory Disorders Program in New York City. 24

SIGNS YOU MAY NEED A GERIATRIC CARE MANAGER • You have limited or no family support. • Your family has just become involved with your care and needs direction about available services. • You have multiple medical or psychological issues. • You are unable to live safely in your current environment. • Your family is either “burned out” or confused about care solutions. • Your family has limited time and/ or expertise in dealing with your chronic care needs. • Your family is at odds regarding care decisions. • You are not pleased with current care providers and requires advocacy. • You are confused about your own financial and/or legal situation. • Your family needs education and/or direction in dealing with behaviors associated with dementia.

Real Stories of America.

Real Stories of You. CUSP/SUPERSTOCK

by BETH SANDERS

or over a decade now, I have been interested in the power of real life stories. It all started when I turned on an old tape recorder and captured my own grandmother’s life story. I just asked “off the cuff” questions and I remember being a little nervous. That day, I saw Grandma, for the first time, as a whole person in all the different phases of normal life. There were her years spent in childhood, high school and college, her work

experiences, love and marriage, children and grandchildren, lessons learned, people who had a big influence on her life, and so much more. I walked out of Grandma’s little house that day and I remember saying to myself, “Grandma, you are just like me! Grandma, I am just like YOU!” Our relationship blossomed from there for the next several years—I always felt a deeper bond with Grandma after that day and until the end of her life. Before 25

recording her story, all the dinners and all the car rides we had spent together had never led to her story— it was that intentional moment with me deeply listening that led to me knowing a lot of her life story. She was happy to share it, I just had to ask. Even though over 60 years separated us, we had more in common than I had ever imagined before— she once was a little girl (just like me). She remembered the first airplane she ever saw (when they were new), and when she started the first kindergarten in our community. Listening to Grandma’s story was like opening a treasure chest and what was inside was truly a priceless gift—more precious than gold. If Grandma’s story was such a gift to me, then I thought, “How many more grandmothers and grandfathers and mothers and 26

COURTESY BETH SANDERS

fathers and aunts and uncles and best friends have an amazing life story to share?” So that’s how I began helping thousands of “ordinary” extraordinary people to create biographies without difficulty or delay. You see, I am convinced that there are no ordinary people. I have met potato farmers from Minnesota and cotton farmers from Texas who are truly extraordinary. I have met a polio survivor, a man who has had over 30 different jobs in his lifetime, a rocket scientist who helped to design the moon landing system, a 100-year-old schoolteacher, a pastor who focuses on Alzheimer’s patients, a taxi driver who raised eight children, and a woman with a very positive outlook on life who has lived through hundreds of seizures. These people are truly extraordinary. It is life-changing to read or listen to these life stories—it’s even more amazing to meet them face-to-face. There is so much to be learned from each amazing human being that we encounter on life’s journey. I believe everyone has a story to tell. After all, there is no one else like you. You are amazing and unique. Through life’s ups and downs (life is like a roller coaster, isn’t it?), you

COURTESY SUSAN POLATZ

have learned a thing or two. No matter one’s age or background, you have something to say. You have information about your own hometown, memories of your parents and grandparents to share, and advice and wisdom to pass on to present and future generations. The problem is usually, “Where should I start?” Seize the day and begin your life story now. Start by thinking of the answers to these questions (and this is just the beginning). The People Who Shaped You • How would you describe your mother to someone who had never met her? • What is a key lesson you learned from your father?

Your Memories • Describe your town, neighborhood, and the environment around your childhood home. (Remember all of your senses.) • Tell about your childhood friends and your favorite games to play. Describe a favorite hiding place or place to be alone. The Real World • Do you have a special hobby such as woodworking, gardening, painting, or something else? Why do you enjoy doing this? Do you share this hobby with anyone close to you? • What is the best part of your day? (continued on page 59) 27

COURTESY CHRISTINA BURNS

Everyone Has a Story to Tell

“It was still very hard for my mom

to have to feed all the hungry kids.”

COURTESY CHRISTINA BURNS

Lisa Lu (born Chun-Yeh) discusses her experiences growing up with her sisters, Julie Chen (born Chun-Lan) and Jeannie Lalonde (born Chun-Hwa), in rural Taiwan as part of a traveling troupe of opera singers in the early 1960s. Lisa Lu: In that picture, I was playing a man in the lead role (pictured on the left) and my sister played the lady (pictured on the right). I was 14, my sister Julie was 11. That was the style of men’s clothes back in the old days. This was a Taiwanese opera, which is a little different than Chinese [Peking] opera. The reason we joined the opera troupe at that time was because our family had no money and they provided us with a place to live and food to eat. My mom didn’t have to feed us three girls. So for one year, we lived in a building for training. First, we trained in an old temple, and then moved to a warehouse. We lived there sometimes, and sometimes we would go home to sleep. There were maybe 20 children there, and about 5–6 men who were sponsors that provided food and training. After one year, we started performing. My grandmother came with us to make sure we were safe and they would feed her, too. She would cook and help out but she didn’t perform, only us three sisters would perform. We would travel from theater to theater and stay for about ten nights, two performances a day—daytime and nighttime— and then after, we would go into a truck and move to a different town, traveling at night, and it was very tiring for us because we Lisa, Julie, and Jeannie, 2006 would get there in the middle of the 29

night. We did that for about a year and half, and we didn’t make much money. After then, the sponsors didn’t want to pay anymore because we didn’t make enough money so they called it quits. By the time we went back home, I was about 16 years old, my sister Julie was about 13 years old, and Jeannie was 10 or 11 years old. It was still very hard for my mom to have to feed all the hungry kids. It was a very tough life for us at the time. We tried to take care of ourselves by going into the fields to make a little extra money. Then we decided to leave our small village, Tuku, and move to a bigger city to make more money.

“We had been so afraid of going to war, but instead we were going to the place of my dreams.”

Terri Painter: My freshman year of college was when I met my husband to be. That was during the Vietnam War. By being a full-time student, he was exempt from the draft. Then the draft lottery was enacted. I remember sitting around the TV the night of the lottery, waiting to see when Dennis’ birthdate was drawn. He got pulled #94 out of 365 days in the year. We decided that we better get married before he had to go into the Army. We were worried that he was going to Vietnam. I told him that if he was going to Vietnam, I was going, too—I did not want to be separated. We were married in June and he had to leave for boot camp in October. He was trained as a medic, and fortunately Dennis serving as a medic he got sent to Germany. (I really didn’t 30

COURTESY TERRI PAINTER

Terri Painter recalls the early days of her marriage to her husband, Dennis, during the era of the Vietnam War.

COURTESY TERRI PAINTER

want to have to figure out how to follow him to Vietnam.) My life-long dream had been to visit Germany— now I was going to live there! I was excited beyond all imagination. We had been so afraid of going to war, but instead we were going to the place of my dreams. It ended up Terri and Dennis being one of the best times of my life. I had just finished my student teaching. Dennis left for Augsburg, Germany and I promised him that I would arrive in one month. He had the task of finding us a place to live. That was difficult. You couldn’t just drive around looking for “For Rent” signs, there weren’t any. Once again we got lucky. By word of mouth, he found us a tiny apartment right off the city plaza. It was perfect, because I had the whole city at my fingertips for exploring. Augsburg was known as the city of gates, fountains, and churches. It was an old walled city full of history dating back to 15 BC. Oftentimes, Dennis worked nights and while he slept during the day, I would go exploring—I know I covered every street in that city! When he had days off, we drove out into the countryside and covered every road within 100 square miles. We made this time the adventure of a lifetime. We were young, had no responsibilities other than his job, and no complications. We definitely made the most of the experience. We bought a $100 Volkswagen and drove all over Europe: all of Germany, Austria, Italy, Holland, France, and Switzerland. At night, we’d put up our little green Army pup tent, pull out the jar of peanut butter for dinner, and crawl into our sleeping bags. It was the poorest time in our lives, but we didn’t even notice. We were so happy! One particular afternoon, driving through Switzerland, we came upon a beautiful field of mustard flowers. I walked out into the field and felt like I was in Heaven. 31

“Memaw had been an Irish Traveler.”

Jan Marsengill: I remember visiting my Memaw and Papaw when I was a little girl. Memaw had been an Irish Traveler. Papaw learned about mules and horses from Memaw’s parents, and my father was born in a “tent,” which was one of those caravan wagons pulled by mules that they traveled in. I heard my grandfather wanted to marry Sabina, Memaw’s younger, prettier sister, but was told “no,” that Memaw had to marry first! I had another great aunt, Memaw’s sister, Rose, who told fortunes but she would not read for any of the family. I have heard that someone, not a family member, got a reading and it was very accurate! Memaw herself “conjured warts” [folk magic to cure warts]. My mom told me that the Irish Travelers had burials only two times a year. They would send the bodies to Westview Cemetery in West End [Atlanta], then they would have a mass burial for Irish Travelers from all over. When I was a little girl, Memaw and Papaw had settled down into a nice-sized, white house with a big screened front porch near Marietta Square [Georgia]. I remember if I was sick, I would go stay A group of Irish Travelers, with Memaw when I was too young to stay circa 1950

PHOTO: PAUL POPPER/POPPERFOTO/GETTY IMAGES

In the late 19th century, many Irish Travelers immigrated to the US, mostly to the South, where they maintained their “gypsy” lifestyles, living in caravans, trading horses and mules, and reading fortunes. Jan Marsengill remembers her Irish Traveler grandmother, Agnes O’Hara.

by myself. She was a devout Catholic and always talked to me about going to Catholic school. Then, when my mother would pick me up after work, she would spend the next several hours talking me out of wanting to go to Catholic school. Being Irish, Memaw would always make me potato soup or softboiled eggs because that would cure anything. I remember her standing in the kitchen in her housedress with a cigarette in her mouth. The ashes would be on the end of the cigarette and none of the kids could ever figure out how she could keep the ashes from falling off when they looked like they were at least an inch or more long.

“I left because I dreamed of a better life.”

COURTESY CRISTINA NASCIMENTO

Regina Amorim recounts her search for the American Dream. Regina Amorim: My journey to the United States was a long one. This photo was taken of me soon after I arrived in New York City in 1967. I was born in 1921, the fifth of seven children in a tiny hillside village called Peneirada in northern Portugal. I was 28-years-old when I left my village. There were too many mouths to feed and not enough food. I traveled from my small village to nearby Porto to work as a live-in housekeeper and nanny. It was hard work, with very little pay. In 1953, my luck changed. A woman that I met while serving at a party took a liking to me. She offered to bring me to Brazil. I didn’t believe her at first, but she later handed me an ocean liner ticket to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I left because I dreamed of a better life.

Regina in New York City, 1967 33

My journey across the Atlantic was a difficult one. I boarded the ship with nothing but a few cents in my pocket and a loaf of bread in my hand. The trans-continental journey lasted two weeks, most of which I spent leaning over the side of the boat, or curled up in the boatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s galley. I suffered from horrible seasickness. There was a nice man who cared for me on the ship. I believe he fell in love with me despite my sickly condition. He offered to marry me when we reached Rio. I politely declined. He was a nice gentleman but I had made a promise to the kind lady who purchased my ticketâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;she was expecting me when the boat arrived. Even though I was still a servant, with a new country came new freedoms. In Portugal, I existed to serve others, and nothing more. In Brazil, I had more control of my day-to-day life and my destiny. Brazil was an exciting country filled with opportunities. I had a regular salary, time off, and a room to myself. I was able to help my family back home. Eventually, I brought my younger brother to Brazil. It was wonderful to have family close again. In 1967, I came to America. It was hard to leave my life in Brazil, but I had always dreamed about America since I was a little girl. The woman who once boarded an ocean liner with nothing to her name boarded an airplane to New York City more determined than ever, carrying a large suitcase. It was there that I would stay for over 30 years, working for wonderful families, who I still keep in touch with until this day. Soon after arriving in New York City, I saved enough money to buy my own three-family house in New Jersey. Over the years, I sponsored many family members from Portugal to America. I lived and worked in New York from Monday through Friday and went to New Jersey on the weekends to visit with my brothers, my sister, my many nieces and nephews, and grandnieces and grandnephews. When I retired, I knew I had to return to Portugal. I live on the same property where I was born, in a new house that I built.

G N I G BRID

P A G L A R U T H E C U LT N O I T A R E N E BETWEEN G

KEYSTONE-FRANCE/GAMMA-KEYSTONE VIA GETTY IMAGES

O RO by E N UM A O K

“When an elder dies, it is as if a whole library has burned down.” — Amadou Hampâté Bâ, Malian writer and ethnologist

f good old American childhoods had stereotypical scenes, this would be one: the loving, jolly cookie-making grandmother doting over her grandchild in a warm kitchen. There’s a term for what’s going on in that picturesque scene. It’s called “grand culture.” Candace Kemp, a professor from Georgia State University’s Gerontology Institute, defines it as “patterns of relating between grandparents and grandchildren within families across and within generations.” With the rapidly changing ethnic and cultural landscape of America, it is becoming increasingly common for cultural distance to exist between grandparents and their grandchildren. Many children grow up in significantly different cultural environments than those of their grandparents. As

a result, there is a danger of these grand cultures morphing into foreign landscapes in which much between grandparents and grandchildren is lost in translation. So what about those relationship patterns that don’t fit a common type? How can families work in bridging not only physical distance but also cultural gaps between generations? I am American, but my grandmother was not. That iconic scene of grandma baking in the kitchen was not a scene from my childhood. When I was growing up, my grandmother lived over 5,000 miles away from me in another country. She was a Nigerian mother of nine and a grandmother of 15. She didn’t spend her Saturday afternoon baking cookies, at least not for her grandchildren. Trained in England

BERNARD SCHOENBAUM THE NEW YORKER COLLECTION/THE CARTOON BANK

as a caterer, she cooked and baked in industrial-sized kitchens for corporations and companies. My siblings and I lived so far away from her that we rarely had the chance to wolf down her culinary treats. Instead, my relationship with my grandmother was cultivated through long distance telephone calls and visits once every couple of years. But some“Here’s a little something to bridge how, even with the distance, I had a the generation gap.” clear sense of who my grandmother was. Because ideas about how children should be whenever we did get to visit with her raised, how we should be raised. she sat us down at her feet and told My grandmother knew that half her us fascinating stories about growing grandchildren considered themup in villages and colonial towns. selves American, a culture she was She spoke reluctantly but openly familiar with yet certainly did not about surviving a civil war. Her pretend to understand or fully experience of life was unlike appreciate. She was proudly anything I could have imagined. Nigerian, and she wanted her And she had strong outspoken (continued on page 60) 37

TA L K I N G A B O U T

GENER ATION

PHOTO: ISTOCK

s a generalization, people born and raised in the United States within the same span of years tend to have collective experiences as they age, leading to distinctive ideals and characteristics that separate them from other generations. The attitudes and make-up of each generation is a valuable tool to marketers and the media, but, more importantly, can also break down barriers in order to relate to and connect with others across the generational divide.

TH E S I LE NT G E N E R ATIO N

Shirley Temple ► Child film star who spawned many children’s products with her image

(born 1922–1945)

The Silent Generation survived the Great Depression and World War II, and that economic and political uncertainty lead them to be patriotic, hard-working, disciplined, and cautious. They are responsible for developing today’s space program, creating vaccines for many diseases including polio, tuberculosis, tetanus, and whooping cough, and laying the foundation for today’s technological environment.

P H OT O : V K PA -

A ZUM

PHOTO: 123RF

◄ Gone With the Wind Epic romance novel and film

PHOTO: SUPERSTOCK

▲ U.S.S. Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor The resting place of the ship’s crewman killed in the attack on Pearl Harbor

◄ We Can Do It! Poster for Westinghouse American wartime propaganda poster

Buy War Bonds ► Wartime propaganda poster

▲ Our Gang Comedy short films about the adventures of a group of neighborhood kids 39

BABY BOOM E RS (born 1946–1964) Known as the “Me” generation, Baby Boomers grew up in a healthy postwar economy and used the strength of their numbers to challenge the status quo. They came of age under the constant threat of the Cold War, and fought for Civil Rights and women’s equality. Along with the postwar baby boom, came the suburban boom. Baby Boomers grew up with television, and were greatly influenced by consumer goods.

PHOTO: WILLIAM WARREN/SUPERSTOCK

◄ Drive-in Theater The movie experience popular in suburban and rural areas

PHOTO: COLUMBIA PICTURES/SUPERSTOCK

Ed Sullivan and ► The Beatles The television host with the popular music band

Vietnam War ► Protests The anti-war movement opposed the US involvement in the Vietnam War

PHOTO: SUPERSTOCK

◄ The Catcher in the Rye A classic novel about teenage angst

▲ Duck and Cover Video instructing children what to do in the event of an atomic bomb

▲ Easy Rider A counter-culture movie

PHOTO: 123RF

G E N E R ATIO N X

The Red Ribbon ► Worn in support of people with AIDS/HIV

(born 1965–1980)

◄ Into the Wild Non-fiction account of a young man’s journey in Alaska

The Simpsons ► Adult animated sitcom of a dysfunctional family

Generation X tends to value the idea of the individual, extending their childhood experiences into their early twenties to find their own identity. Known as “latch-key” kids who came home from school to an empty home with parents at work, they are often more entrepreneurial and self-reliant. Benefitting from women’s liberation and Civil Rights, they tend to be comfortable with the US’s growing racial diversity and with the notion of gender equality.

IMAGE: UNIVERSAL TV. 20TH CENTURY FOX TV/ KLASKY-SCUPO/SUPERSTOCK

The Challenger Crew ► Many watched the shuttle disaster on live TV PHOTO: NASA

PHOTO: SUPERSTOCK

◄ Apple Macintosh Personal computer ▲ Madonna Controversial “Queen of Pop” (music)

▲ MTV Cable television channel targeting young adults

PHOTO: ISTOCK

M I LLE N N IAL S

▲ Girls Cable television series about a group of friends becoming adults in New York City

F 3R 12 O: OT

Baby on Board ► Signs placed in vehicles to promote safe driving PH

Millennials are more racially and ethnically diverse than older generations, and receptive to new ideas and ways of living. They tend to be highly educated but face struggles with financial independence due to entering the job market during a recessive economy and daunting student debt. As a result, many are slow to start families of their own. This was the first group to grow up with computers, the Internet, and cell phones as a significant part of their lives so they are accustomed to a networked world and receive a great deal of socialization and the majority of their information online.

PHOTO: HBO/SUPERSTOCK

(born 1981–2000)

◄ Twilight series Vampire-themed romance novels, made into a movie series

◄ Meme Humorous image or text that is copied and spread over the Internet

Beyoncé and Jay-Z ► Pop music performer and hip-hop artist, who are married

iPod ► Portable digital media player

P H OT

UT O: RE

G E N E R ATIO N Z (born 2001–Present) This post-9/11 generation has grown up with the influence of digital technology, and as a result they are more aware of the world around them. In the US, cultural tastes are changing to reflect the population growth in racial and ethnic diversity. Children grow up spending vast amounts of time with web-based learning and digital technology, playing less with traditional toys, but creating digital literacy and technical deftness on a new scale. As this generation is still largely in its formative years, much remains unknown about them and awaits definition.

▲ Minecraft A 3-D video game ◄ Emoji Ideogram used in online messages

PSY ► Korean (K-Pop) musical performer P H O T O: R E U T

/D ER S

Nintendo Wii ► Video game system with handheld pointing device that detects movements

Yo Gabba Gabba! ► Children’s television show

PHOTO: ISTOCK

◄ Pokémon Trading cards from the Japanese series

PHOTO: NICK JR.

The

LAST MAN

An Exclusive Interview with

Roger Moore by CHRISTINA BURNS

oger Moore is best known for portraying British secret agent James Bond in seven films from 1973â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1985, and for his role as Simon Templar in the long-running British television series, The Saint. Born in London in 1927, he became a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in 1991 and was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in 2003. Sharp-witted, charming, with a sense of humor that has attracted an intimate circle of friends within a Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Who of the entertainment world, Sir Roger Moore tells many a salacious and entertaining story in his recently released book, One Lucky Bastard: Tales from Tinseltown (Lyons Press). His stories and observations, full of quips and asides, reveal a kind-hearted and playful nature. He took the time to give this exclusive interview to PS Magazine. 44

PHOTO: PHOTONONSTOCK/SUPERSTOCK

STANDING

PS Magazine (PS): One Lucky Bastard is the American title of the same book that is called Last Man Standing in the UK. Do both titles express sentiments that you currently have about your life? Roger Moore (RM): The American title certainly sums up my feelings on my life and career very eloquently, but the more conservative British booksellers felt they couldn’t display such a racy-titled volume on their shelves and asked I come up with an alternative. I suggested Turning the Lights Off (something Frank Sinatra used to ask me: “Who will be left to turn the lights off?”). I said to the publisher, “As I’m the last man standing, it looks like it’ll be me”... that’s how it came about. PS: Over the course of your 70-year acting career, you have covered it all: theater, television, and film, but you are best known for your portrayal of James Bond. Do you see that role as the pinnacle of your career? RM: Absolutely. I’ve no qualms in saying it was and still is the ultimate role for any actor—who wouldn’t want to be 007? It was huge fun, gave me financial security, and allowed me to work with some wonderful producers, directors, actors, and crews. Fewer people have played Jim Bond than have walked on the moon, making me a very lucky last man standing! PS: How did you come about landing the role of James Bond? RM: I met the producers, Cubby Broccoli and Harry Saltzman, in the early 1960s, when I was playing Simon Templar, at the gaming tables in Curzon Street in London. We struck up a friendship, and when Sean [Connery] finally said, “never again,” they asked me about taking over. My charm, charisma, talent, and sheer modesty obviously Comic actor Peter Sellers attempting stuck in their minds—as did the to paint Roger Moore’s toenails fact I worked cheaply.

PHOTO BY TERRY O’NEILL/GETTY IMAGES

PS: Is it true that you suffer from hoplophobia, an aversion to firearms? If so, how has that affected your performances as an actor? RM: I am a total coward. I hate explosions, guns, and even thunder. But being the excellent (and modest) actor I am, I never let it show— what a liar! In fact, if you watch some scenes closely in the Bond films, you’ll see I wince and close my eyes before I even pull the trigger... but I got away with it! PS: You seem to have a great sense of humor, which comes through loud and clear in your book, and you love a good story. Who is the most amusing person that you mention in the book?

PHOTO: MGM/SUPER STOCK

Elizabeth Taylor with Roger Moore in The Last Time I Saw Paris, 1981

RM: Oh, I think David Niven was one of the greatest storytellers of all. The only thing being, he made most of them up, or stole them and then embroidered them to suit himself. Each time he told a tale it became more and more fantastical and he’d change details all the time, but everyone knew, and such was his charm. We loved it and him.

PHOTO: MGM/SUPER STOCK

Lana Turner with Roger Moore in Diane, 1956 46

PS: In your book, you pay homage to so many talents and giants in the entertainment world including (to name just a small few) Gregory Peck, David Niven, Liberace, Richard Burton, Michael Caine, and Frank Sinatra, as well as many filmmakers and writers, often giving biographical references and telling anecdotes of their lives. Did this book require a great deal of research for you to complete it?

RM: Well, I had to look up the correct spelling of all their names for a start. Fortunately, my assistant Gareth would zip off and dig up any facts and figures for me, and so I’d then weave those in. What he couldn’t find out, we just made up! PS: You’re a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, which you have committed yourself to since 1991. How did you become involved with that organization? RM: Audrey Hepburn was a neighbor and asked if I’d co-present the Danny Kaye International Children’s Awards with her. She was a UNICEF Ambassador, and spoke so passionately that I became hooked and signed on the dotted line. PS: In 2003, you were knighted by the Queen, and in one of your last chapters in the book, recount a recent episode in a passport office where you had to deal with some bureaucratic frustration. Has becoming a knight had any particular advantages?

PHOTO: SUPERSTOCK

As James Bond, agent 007, in RM: I’m not sure it has any particular For Your Eyes Only, 1981 advantages per se, but it’s something I’m incredibly proud of because it was awarded for my work with UNICEF. Well, it wouldn’t be for my acting, would it?

PS: You do many promotional appearances, including this book tour. That aside, how do you spend most of your time? RM: I like nothing more than to be at home. A morning walk, a spot of lunch, an afternoon movie, and a good book to settle down in the evening with is my idea of bliss. 47

What’s Wrong?

Illustrated by Mark Corcoran

How many silly things can you f ind in this picture?

A Maize Maze It might be corny, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fun. Can you help Daisy and Devon find their way through the cornfield maze? Answer on page 61

Fin

ish

Illustrated by Paul Richer

Sta rt

Easy as Pie!

C O C O N U T

Seventeen types of pie are Y I C E C R E A M baked into this grid. They Y P M I N C E M E A T are hidden up, down, across, backwards, U O E P R U N E W H I P R and diagonally. Go T U A Y E L E M O N C E T ahead and dig in! Answer on page 61

H C R N R E Q B N A P E A R B

Q H T U R T R K E Y L I M E P Y E E T E A M Y N A C E P U R E B B L P L E O M R T U Q O U F S

APPLE BERRY CHERRY CHOCOLATE COCONUT ICE CREAM KEY LIME LEMON MINCEMEAT PEACH PEANUT BUTTER PEAR PECAN PRUNE WHIP PUMPKIN RHUBARB SHOOFLY

Y H T A C M O R A T P O P O T H E P H K H B R L C I S L E A N E X

Bonus Puzzle

When you’ve circled all the words, we’ve got an extra treat for you. The answer to the riddle below is hidden in a row or column. See if you can find it. What’s the best thing to put in a pie?

Puzzle by Stacey Williams

Word List

Grandpa sets the cameraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s timer to take a family portrait with the new baby.

Illustrated by Nancy Cote

Answers on page 61

FUN & GA MES

Solutions on page 62

CROSSWORD PUZZLE 1

12 13

15 16

ACROSS 1. Signature (9) 8. Wash out with water (5) 9. Unaccompanied (5) 10. Wild dog (6) 12. Sullen (4) 14. Oppose (4) 15. Victor (6) 17. Chocolate powder (5) 18. Baseball destinations (5) 20. Take turns (9) 52

DOWN 2. Tall, rounded vase (3) 3. Musical dramas (6) 4. Laugh loudly (4) 5. A word used to indicate someone (7) 6. Preconceived opinion (9) 7. One who uses violence to pursue a cause (9) 11. Mocking (7) 13. Hair accessory (6) 16. Where roof and wall meet (4) 19. Collection (3)

ÂŠ ANY PUZZLE MEDIA LTD

WORD SEARCH: LEGENDARY GREEKS Legendary Greeks

U R Y N O L O S U M D A C H S

C E O S E S S U P I S C C S C

S I C O E U M S E C T H M E A

E S H C P L S S S A X H N S E

AGAMEMNON AGAMEMNON AJAX AJAX BRISEIS BRISEIS CADMUS CADMUS CYCLOPS CYCLOPS DIOMEDES HECTOR DIOMEDES HELEN HECTOR HELEN

E T S E O D U I C R M E U I P

D M H U L A R C E U J C Y C A

O E E E E E G R R S R T M L E

U S U N N S N A R E I O O D E

T H E S E U S N M D H R O S U

S I O R P D U Y O E U U B M C

S H O R D O E P D M M L C B T

HERCULES ICARUS NARCISSUS ODYSSEUS PENELOPE PRIAM SIRENS THESEUS

S S I A M E L C E O M N I O R

D A J A X O S C D I T S O H E

M E T E R I E L Y D O N H N U

S G R G Y U E N E C N H E P I

HERCULES ICARUS NARCISSUS ODYSSEUS PENELOPE PRIAM SIRENS THESEUS 53

FUN & GA MES

Solutions on page 62

SUDOKU Sudoku—also known as Number Place—is a logicbased, combinatorial numberplacement puzzle. The aim of Sudoku is to enter a number from 1 through 9 in each cell of a grid. Each row, column, and region must contain only one instance of each number.

8 8

9 8

5 6

1 5

3 9

LETTER SOUP Can you rearrange the floating letters below to spell out the names of various sports? Each letter should be used exactly once in the resulting set. 1. 2. 3. 5.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2014 HOROSCOPES by Chris Flisher

ARIES (March 21–April 19) Creative responsibility may test your abilities during this time. Projects such as education, training, or other institutional activities may present you with opportunities, but not without effort on your part. While the planets have a unique way of collaborating just when you need them the most, you may still be facing deadlines and deliverables. Mercury and Venus together in friendly, fellow fire-sign Sagittarius may allow you to deliver what is asked of you. The other good news is that the finish line may be in sight. Career opportunities may be looming large though, and you may be faced with making an important employment choice that could linger for some time. TAURUS (April 20–May 20) You may be at a crossroad where you are trying to gain clarity on which direction to take. Your domestic environment and relationship occupy an important juncture that urges you to commit, perhaps with some reservation.

Meanwhile, you may see your only relief come in the form of travel and/or education. As disruptive as those two options might be, the chance to learn and experience something new has great appeal. A change of scene may be just what you need to shake up tired routines and endless procrastination. A sudden change of heart may prod you into taking a chance on something completely different. GEMINI (May 21–June 21) The area where you may spend most of your quick-thinking energy may be your romantic life. Not only is your planetary ruler, Mercury, playing a major role in that part of your life but so are Venus and the Sun. You might find that conversations take on a new meaning during this period as research, communications, and written ideas bring on an added sparkle to your love life. Of course, your job may be bubbling with activity all during this time, as surprise alliances connect you with extraordinary new and different 55

people. While you are determined to buckle down and meet your deadlines, you may still have plenty of time to flirt. CANCER (June 22–July 22) Your career may require more time than you anticipated during this period. It may be that the last minute, year-end rush finds you attending to forgotten details that are now staring you in the face. While you may have seen some of this coming, you may be surprised by how much this occupies your time. Possible re-organizations or new hires draw your attention to daily details rather than long-term strategies. A shake-up of some sort may be just what you needed and what may have appeared daunting actually turns out to be financially beneficial. Added responsibilities may bring out the best of your creative spirit as the landscape shifts. LEO (July 23–Aug. 22) The past few months may have been quite active for you as much has been expected. A new burst of ideas may be on the horizon that allow you to rise to that challenge with great success. A collection of 56

fast-moving and supportive planets in fellow fire-sign Sagittarius may provide just the spark you need to press your agenda with creative alternatives. Travel and training may figure heavily in the mix so be prepared if you are asked to take your plan on the road. While that may place a slight inconvenience on your home life, you may be able to strike a compromise that satisfies both areas of your life. VIRGO (Aug. 23–Sept. 22) A flow of support may come your way quite unexpectedly as your domestic scene lights up in time for the year’s end. Outside resources such as educational grants, or home-equity loans may open opportunities to attend to your family and home. The timing may be just right as the calendar clicks away towards the year’s end. At the same time you may find that documentation and perhaps some supporting research may be required to allow such support to occur. While this may be an added distraction, the small price of being accountable may be minor when compared with the amount of help you receive.

LIBRA (Sept. 23–Oct. 22) Added financial responsibilities may bring topics to the table that you had not anticipated. Year-end tallies may shine a light on topics that come as a surprise to your partner or, conversely, they bring surprises to you. Some background work may help bring clarity to the situation, but you may expect to have some provocative conversations regarding expenditures. This same theme may apply to projects with your working partners as well. Despite what may appear initially as daunting, you may be able to get to the bottom of things with some research or correspondence that provides some clarity. Don’t push the panic button until you have all the facts. SCORPIO (Oct. 23–Nov. 21) After a long grind, you may be finally able to see the end of the tunnel you’ve been in for several months now. Financial news may provide a lift as your monetary sector hosts three supportive planets and sheds some light on where you may be headed with your money and investments. You may see some significant and unusual activity in

your job as roles change or assignments get reallocated. While some events may take you by surprise they may also allow you a new opportunity for expansion with your own responsibilities. Your personal drive may be characterized by a deep-seated desire to finally be heard in meaningful ways. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21) Charm may be your biggest asset during this period as three fastmoving planets stop in Sagittarius to turn the spotlight on you. With that in mind, it may be wise to bring business deals and any sort of negotiation to a fruitful close. By the same token it may be particularly important to secure the terms of any such transaction. A surprising turn of events could add an element of genius to the mix, so be open to unexpected changes in your favor. You may be singularly driven to search out unique angles and longterm caveats that may play well to your hand. Travel may also be highlighted so keep a bag packed. 57

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan. 19) You may be filled with the promise of a new beginning during this period. This may be particularly evident in or around your family or domestic arrangements. Surprise changes in this area of your life could be welcomed as you receive the support of favorable aspects from three planets all of which point to new territory. Your personal drive may be clearly evident to those who watch you closely and see you are striving to pull yourself up to a new place. While this may be challenging at times, you may receive some aid in the form of an outside influence. Working with others may force you to be more accountable in the end. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20–Feb. 18) Your career may be asking a lot of you currently and that may serve you well in the long run. It may be that many are there to help you through this period of increased responsibility, for which you may be quite fortunate and grateful. Like rushing towards a deadline, you may feel much like an opened balloon as you fly around the room 58

taking care of unexpected business. Research may yield an incredibly innovative new discovery that may have the potential to change your career completely. With that in mind, it may be worth your time to carefully investigate new and unusual topics. PISCES (Feb. 19–March 20) You may be in a place where you are required to self-promote and that may require travel and teaching opportunities. It may be important to be as grounded as possible during this period as you may be easily led astray by a whim of some sort. Daydreaming may be helpful provided it doesn’t pull your mind off your main purpose. You may be able to fuse that deep imagination into your daily career successfully. You may find great reward if you can bring these two parts of your world together in a cohesive fashion. Work may be especially fruitful as you receive a great deal of added support there.

REAL STORIES OF YOU (continued from page 27) Bringing It All Together • What are your secrets for living the good life? • Is there something you have always wanted to do that you have never done? Imagine this: today you write down at least one memory of your grandmother or grandfather. And let’s say you pass that memory on to your grandchildren—write them a letter, send them an email containing the story. Because of that recorded memory, your grandchildren will actually know something about their great-great-grandparents as a result. Don’t we all wish we knew more than birth, death, and marriage dates of our oldest loved ones? Genealogy is a great starting point, and the family story is the next piece that is needed. You may be the keeper of your family’s stories and legacy. Unfortunately, younger generations may not always realize, until it is too late, that they even want this information. I have had countless people share how valuable the

biography information became over time, especially as older loved ones have passed away. I have also had countless people share the regrets that come when they “wish they would have” learned more about their loved ones when they had the chance to ask. That’s why it’s important to start your own life story now. It can take as little as one hour or you can spend weeks creating your biography, just answering questions to build the story. Do what works best for you! One more piece of advice: I know you’re a busy person, but the whole process gets more difficult the longer you wait to start. So do your “life story so far” and then plan to add on all the next adventures that await. Just like my grandmother, I know that you have so much to share. Fill that treasure chest with gold for your children and grandchildren. There is no time like the present and no better gift to the future. It’s time to tell your story. Beth Sanders is founder & CEO of www.lifebio.com. LifeBio provides easy resources to capture life stories through the web, an app, journals, and phone interviews. 59

BRIDGING THE CULTURAL GAP (continued from page 37) granchildren to understand as much as possible where they came from, at least from her side of the family. So she made it a point to tell us stories about who she was and about life as she had known it, in the country she grew up in. When I was in my early twenties on one of my visits with her, I decided to tape record our conversation. I was interviewing her for a graduate school project on understanding family systems and tracing patterns of female behavior in generations of a single family. My grandmother told me wild stories about her own mother, my great-grandmother. I found traces of myself and of my own mother in the family history my grandmother shared. As I got older, she began to share more and more about the varied roles a woman played in her culture that came with each life stage. I was learning about different and distinct ways of being in the world that I could not have known if not for my grandmother’s teaching. I like to imagine that all those hours of storytelling made up for the fact that my grandmother did not help take care of me when I was 60

born. She had told me that in our Igbo culture, when a grandchild is born, it is tradition for the grandmother to come live with the new baby for the first three months to help usher it into its first weeks of life. But because we lived continents away, she couldn’t carry out her traditional responsibility. My grandmother passed away six years ago. She took with her irreplaceable stories that no one else can offer. There was still so much she hadn’t told me about the history of my family, about my own mother, and about the customs of my people in a country halfway across the world. My experience has only reinforced my belief that my generation, especially those of us who are bicultural, will lose wisdom and knowledge of immeasurable value if we do not find ways to stay connected to our grandparents, to listen to their stories, to record them, and to learn more about ourselves and our cultural backgrounds in ways only grandparents can provide. Enuma Okoro is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives between New York City, Paris, and Abuja, Nigeria. www.enumaokoro.com

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“I’m in the sandwich generation—my parents don’t approve of me and my kids hate me.” The Old Days A man was telling his young grandson about his life when he was a just a boy in Michigan: “In the winter, my brothers and I would ice skate on our pond. In the summer, we could swim in the pond, and pick blueberries in the woods. We’d swing on an old tire my father hung from an oak tree on a rope. And we had a brown pony we rode all over the farm.” The little boy was amazed, and sat thoughtfully for a minute. Finally, he said, “Grandpa, I wish I’d gotten to know you a lot sooner!” 64

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