My Disorderly MoodsI don't have many "level" days, I'm either on top of the world or looking at life from the depths of the abyss...and it's a long tortuous struggle crawling my way out...not to mention it's absolute HELL on one's manicure. If I were to draw a graph illustrating my mood swingsit would be a jagged streak of lightning or a mountain range with steep peaks and narrow valleys or a roller coaster ride through HELL (somebody please stop this rideI want to get off). I'm bipolar with episodes of manic/depression (the manic part is kinda fun), I lean toward obsessive/compulsive behaviourI either fixate on one particular idea or act without thinking things all the way through (I'm rather attached to my obsessions) and I've gotten a better grip on my compulsions. I used to have a handle on life, but I keep breaking itbut with lots of duct tape, I can fix itit's not perfect, it's all crooked and twistedbut so am I. So there ya go. When I'm PISSED OFF, I'm not depressedand that works for me. When I'm pervin', I'm not depressed, and that, too, works for me. I listen to some of the most angry shit imaginableand that works for me. There's a lot to be said for PRIMAL SCREAM THERAPYit's very effective. Today, it's ANGRY METAL AZ (well, W) and that's the BEST THING about MySpaceanything in the world I want to listen to is right here at my fingertips: ARCH ENEMY, BORGO PASS, DIESEL FINGER, HELLABLACK, LAMB OF GOD, LEFT IN RUIN, MASSACRE MACHINE, NEGATIVE 263, NOTHING MORE, SACRUM, SEVERED BLOOD LOSS, SICKCIETY, SON OF SLAM,SOUTHERN HOSTILTY, THUNDERCRACKER, TRIPLEVER,VICIOUS SOUTH,&WHISKEY LIFE and then when it's all over, I turn to my happy, happy tunes (but GODDAMMITI ONLY HAVE 4 OF THEM) by THE SOLDIERS OF SCRAPE "HIGHER", "STONED" , "SPREAD THE SEED" and the one that really gets me through the rough parts"BLINDED BY SATAN" So this will be my day for the next few days until I can see daylight again... it's very dark in my world at the moment and I have forgotten what "HAPPY" feels like.
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