"deer hard with a vengence"" let me first start by sayin that growing up in shakerag you have to do one of two things, a.be smart enough to find ways to entertain yourself, or, b. get a fuckin job and a car so you can afford to drive the 45 minutes to the nearest interesting thing to do!well , being the independent and resourceful nurkas that we are and always have been we were never at a loss for a good time in shakerag and in my opinion found many fun things to keep occupied with. from the time we were younguns do ing things like digging deep holes in our front yard,covering them with chicken wire and leaves and then hiding in them till the weeeee hours of the morning and hurling a variety of household objects at passerbys and laughing hysterically at their dumbfoundedness( might be a word who knows ) upon exiting their vehicle only to find no one around, all the way up to our teen years when we would ride the forest loop late at night up rooting stop signs and placing them back in the ground at random places like the ends of peoples driveways or in the middle of a bridge or intersection, or taking the speed limit signs from 30 mph zones and swapping them out withe signs in 55 mph zones ,fun times in deed. well it was one of thesze such times, where wed been ridin for several hours beginning at about 10pm and it was now tha late late night ,that the most unforgetable driveby in the history of shakerag ever took place! you see we had quite an arsenal of bb guns ,slingshots, paintball guns, glass bottles, and pretty much anything else we could cause hell with and had been cruisin the woods shooting signs and unsuspecting neighbors cars. before you ask, yes we WERE high like giraffe pussy and were still smokin more! all of a sudden we had a great idea!!! "lets go out to the ee jeter basebal field and play glass bottle baseball!!", sounds like a great idead right? i thought so as well so i balled off in the neon toward the small sports field out there in the woods.well im cruising at a kool 65 mph in the neon with nuthin but my orange runnin lights on(because at the time we thought it more stealthy ,nvm we coulda been killed a hundred times over) and i hit the curve comin up to the ballfield and decide ta throw on my lights just in case theres any other assholes already there with the same idea.good thing i decided to turn my lights on because right as i hit the spot where the top of the hill and the top of the curve meet (luckily where i hit my lights) the biggest great big god damn deer youve ever seen is standing right in the middle of the road, well apparently when my headlights hit him it blinded him and he froze up stiffer then micheal jackson at a day care so i yoinked the ebrake and spun sideways to avoid a nasty deer splatter collision and at the exact same time like a fuckin scene out of a bruce willis movie rev pumps the paintball gun, slings his body half out the passenger window and proceeds to plant a paintball right in this deers ass! and when i say ass i mean it violated this deer in such a fashion that he leaped several feet in the air changed direction in mid flight and shot off away from us leaving us with nothing but a glimpse of a neon green assed deer and our balls laughed off!...well by that point wed had enough fun for one evening and besides we werent going to top that, not that night anyway (story for another time) ,so we headed home and hit the bong and then crashed the fuck out! and yanno ,to this day every time im ridin thru my hood and see a big ass deer i cant help but wonder if hes looking at me because hes just a deer or because he remembers the day the tru cuntry bassturds popped a neon green cap in his whitetailed ass!! either way we'll both
remember it til the day we die im sure....................til next time slick sid p.s. mizz malice will that story suffice?btw ,in the event that any one would like to check the authenticity of this story,ill be glad to give you the gunmans phone number or you could take your ass to shakerag and look for a deer with a green ass!!!