SURVIVAL OF THE WICKED WILD AND TWISTED

I can't deny that the 4 years we spent in The City of Sin left me not a little warped. I have trust issues, I developed a strong dislike for other women, but then I've come to dislike most people period. I' m hard to get to get to know­my close friends tell me. I've got too many layers on the old shell, too much armour to get through. I lost my faith in humanity for a few years (I have since found it again). If I were a band, I would be MISANTHROPY ....I used to be a social creature, now I mostly hole up right here in front of my computer and chat with people I will probably never meet....most of the men I know,knew,met at this time in my life were absolute PIGS and had few redeeming qualities, the women I knew were even less worthy of my respect.(That has all changed now­after 10 or so years you just gotta let it go) But Vegas was ONE WILD RIDE. All of my girlfriends hated each other­I soon found out why­they were each scamming on the others' "love interests" and prided themselves on being homewreckers, bragging "He would leave his wife for me" and "I was her best friend and slept with her man 3 times a week, and she NEVER even knew about it!"

My husband and I had only been married for 3 years at this time and this was the beginning of our adventures away from the prying eyes of our respective families. He had just accepted a new job that would take him away from me Mon­Thurs and bring him home on the weekends, so I was a weekend wife for quite awhile. It was called THE BLACK PROJECT and he couldn't tell me anything....What man wouldn't enjoy telling his wife "If I told you, I'd have to shoot you"...later I would find out it was the F117 Stealth Fighter....and THAT was one helluva turn­on, but I can't tell that story.

Our favorite hangout was Club Rock, and this was the first time we'd experienced Strippers hangin' out with us "regular folks"­(I don't know where Strippers hang out in my hometown, and I don't much care) but they became "friends" of a fashion, then later on became the victims of my wrath.... more later­­gotta go for a bike ride­­my HERE & NOW is calling...my TWISTED TALES OF TORMENT can wait...besides all THAT happened 10 years ago.

TORMENT #1 These "ladies" soon came to understand that I was their worst nightmare...I'm a fairly tolerant woman when it comes to dealing with another woman making a play for my man...if I don't like you, I'll kick your ass, start hangin' out with YOUR man, or just plain make your life hell....If I do like you, I will consider you a part of my family. But seein' that I don't like most people, it won't be an issue.

Ok, so on with THE VICIOUS BITCH saga­­there was Scary Kerry the Terminator otherwise known as Mistress Abusiveness who could take a perfectly good man and warp him beyond all recognition in a matter of weeks, she was a "dancer" ­but as she wasn't very nice to people, she didn't make much money at it­I guess men don't like payin'

MEAN chicks to take off their clothes. When the party shifted to her house after the bar closed, you never wanted to be the first person to leave because then you became her prime target for harpooning. She would often say "I'll never say anything behind your back that I wouldn't say to you face", but it would have been so much kinder.... It was fascinating to watch her operate­anybody who pissed her off, would be her joke material, and she could imitate any one of us spot on (much to my chagrin)...I heard what she had to say about ME... That Bitch. We used to bet on the "Kerry's new roomate pool" to see how long the latest one would last.(Hey­it was Vegas­we used to BET on EVERYTHING) See, she had this thing where she would sleep with her new roomie's boyfriend, then blurt out in a crowded bar that "oops, I fucked your boyfriend this afternoon" just to get a reaction. (I did say she was a VICIOUS BITCH)... Oh well,within about 4 years, she had to move back to Ohio and I don't think there's much of a demand for rude strippers up there. Another one who got chewed up and spit out on the sidewalk.

And in the unlikely event that Kerry will ever read this­­"HAH­ I outbitched you in the end!"

What they failed to understand and didn't get, my husband is also my best friend so if some chick flashes him her tits or offers him a blowjob in the parking lot he's going to TELL ME about it­so they never had anything over on me.... But don't think I'll let ya get away with it­ I'll be the reason your man is 2 hours late getting to your house, I'll be the reason he fixed you breakfast in bed so he wouldn't feel guilty about where he was spending that afternoon... and REALLY ­is it my fault your man would rather hang out with ME than get laid??­because if he's hangin' out with me, he's not gettin' laid...and THAT my friend is something you can COUNT ON. But it was certainly amusing to lead them to believe I did. I never told anyone I'd never lead them down the wrong path.... yeah go ahead and say it­I'm a WICKED BITCH or a BITCHY WITCH depending on what day you catch me on.