Teacher, I love you! Sexuality Discourses in teachers' stories Margarita Gerouki Bachelor's in Primary Education Master's in Health Sciences degree PhD candidate University of Helsinki margarita.gerouki@helsinki.fi
Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
Introduction (PhD thesis) "Behind Closed Doors! Primary school teachers’ experiences when dealing with the sexual child."
The background of the research
Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
Methods (data collection and sampling) Qualitative interviews with teachers Researcher and Teacher To make sense of what we observe or what people tell us, we may draw on the richness of our own experience, particularly if what we are studying we also have experienced. Parts of an interview may echo our own thoughts or prompt us to recall parts of our own lives" (Hertz, 1997, p. xiii). Hertz, R. (1997). Reflexivity & voice. Thousand Oaks, Calif.: Sage Publications.
Memory work
Haug (1987) developed the concept of memory-work as a social-scientific method to challenge the separation of knowledge and everyday experience. The basic argument had been that researchers' " past experience may offer some insight into the ways in which individuals construct themselves into existing relations, thereby themselves reproducing a social formation, itself contains an implicit argument for a particular methodology" (Haug,1987, p. 34). Haug, F. (1987). Female sexualization : A collective work of memory [Sexualisierung: Frauenformen 2.] . London: Verso
Two stories and a memory Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
This boy had fallen madly in love with me. He was sitting there in the class looking at me {she is looking at me straight in the eyes with an expression of dreamy adoration in her face}. I was talking and he was interrupting, asking about the colour of my eyes. He proposed to me. He asked the physical education teacher to be his best man at our wedding. For six months he sent me pictures with hearts and kittens and messages on the mobile telephone, writing “I love you”. He was calling my phone many times every day, sometimes five or six times, even at midnight, and when I answered he held back. Once he talked to me. He said “Teacher, I love you”. I answered “I love you too. A teacher loves all her pupils”. The rest of the pupils were telling me about his feelings. “I love him too,” I replied. “Loving is nice. I love you all”. “But he loves you differently”, they continued. “There is no ‘differently’ for the way a pupil loves his teacher. There is only one way, the way I love you and you all love me”. I believe that they left with the feeling that their teacher did not know much about the ways of life {laughing}. I was not upset with what was happening. I felt that it was nice. That it would not traumatise the boy. I felt it was part of a natural way. I was not embarrassed, but rather amused. We were laughing over it with my colleagues. I believed that at some point it would be over. Can you believe it? Nobody had flirted with me the way this boy was doing. (At the end of the conversation with the recorder off). (Sofia, research participant)
I have a kid in my class who is from X [immigrant origin]. He is in the sixth grade but he was a student of mine in the third grade too. He is terribly fond of me. Wherever I go, he is always behind me, taking care that I don't carry any heavy objects... he carries my bag. He serves me, he opens my car door... it is rather extreme. In the beginning of every new month he sends me a letter with a drawing wishing me "Happy month". Some time ago when I had my birthday, he wrote on my dusty car "Happy Birthday". He even organised a birthday party for me. They told me it was his idea and work. He brought me flowers, they [the whole class] ordered a cake, but it was his idea. In the beginning he was writing to me as Ms Melina now "Ms" has gone. "Melina, I love you". That is, I see that his interest is changing and while he is growing up probably his interest increases... this affection... At least, this is how I see it. I do not know. I believe this is on a different level. It is not the affectionate "Ms Melina, I love you", it is "Melina, I love you". He sees me differently... I do not know. I believe that it is very romantic. That is, I really accept this behaviour. I have not forbidden him to write to me or help me and I believe that... because he is not a good student, that this love or affection that I also show him encourages him to try more. I see an effort and this is important for me. That is, our relationship is based on the interest that I will show in him. If I show more interest, I know he will try more to prove to me that he is good. He will try harder with his homework, I mean. I use that because he has learning problems, he does not speak the language very well, although he has lived in Greece for many years, but I know if I tell him "you are very good, or why don't you try?", he will do his best so I will like him more. I use that to influence his learning in other words. (Melina, research participant)
Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
The dance It was her first school dance as a teacher. The pupils had taken care of everything: the classroom decoration, the food, the refreshments, the music. Now they were standing around wearing their best clothes waiting for some kind of special invitation to the "dance floor". This was her role. To encourage them. “Come on… let’s dance… nice dress, Mary… this is a party… isn’t it?” The most courageous ones followed. Some slow song started. Oh! She was afraid of that. He came and asked her to dance. She could not refuse, she knew how much he wanted it, but she did not want to say "yes". It was such an embarrassment. He was in love with the teacher. She pretended not to understand the notes, the drawings, the comments. Now on the dance floor he was smiling. He was twelve. She felt like an idiot, a flattered one, though. She reminded herself that he was living with his grandmother. She told him, “You are doing much better with your subjects lately. I am proud of you!” She wondered: “What is the class thinking?” (Margarita, researcher)
Establishing the sexual framework in teachers' discourse ďƒź ďƒź
the purpose of the interview particular words and phrases
Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
This boy had fallen madly in love with me. He was sitting there in the class looking at me {she is looking at me straight in the eyes with an expression of dreamy adoration in her face}. I was talking and he was interrupting, asking about the colour of my eyes. He proposed to me. He asked the physical education teacher to be his best man at our wedding. For six months he sent me pictures with
hearts and kittens and messages on the mobile telephone, writing “I love you”. He was calling my phone many times every day, sometimes five or six times, even at midnight, and when I answered he held back. Once he talked to me. He said “Teacher, I love you”. I answered “I love you too. A teacher loves all her pupils”. The rest of the pupils were telling me about his feelings. “I love him too,” I replied. “Loving is nice. I love you all”. “But he loves you differently”, they continued. “There is no ‘differently’ for the way a pupil loves his teacher. There is only one way, the way I love you and you all love me”. I believe that they left with the feeling that their teacher did not know much about the ways of life {laughing}. I was not upset with what was happening. I felt that it was nice. That it would not traumatise the boy. I felt it was part of a natural way. I was not embarrassed, but rather amused. We were laughing over it with my colleagues. I believed that at some point it would be over. Can you believe it? Nobody
had flirted with me the way this boy was doing. (At the end of the conversation with the recorder off). (Sofia, research participant)
I have a kid in my class who is from X [immigrant origin]. He is in the sixth grade but he was a student of mine in the third grade too. He is terribly fond of me. Wherever I go, he is always behind me, taking care that I don't carry any heavy objects... he carries my bag. He serves me, he opens my car door... it is rather extreme. In the beginning of every new month he sends me a letter with a drawing wishing me "Happy month". Some time ago when I had my birthday, he wrote on my dusty car "Happy Birthday". He even organised a birthday party for me . They told me it was his idea and work. He brought me flowers, they [the whole class] ordered a cake, but it was his idea. In the beginning he was writing to me as Ms Melina now "Ms" has gone. "Melina, I love you". That is, I see that his interest is changing and while he is growing up probably his interest increases... this affection... At least, this is how I see it. I do not know. I believe this is on a different level. It is not the affectionate "Ms Melina, I love you", it is "Melina, I love you". He sees me differently... I do not know. I believe that it is very romantic. That is, I really accept this behaviour. I have not forbidden him to write to me or help me and I believe that... because he is not a good student, that this love or affection that I also show him encourages him to try more. I see an effort and this is important for me. That is, our relationship is based on the interest that I will show in him. If I show more interest, I know he will try more to prove to me that he is good. He will try harder with his homework, I mean. I use that because he has learning problems, he does not speak the language very well, although he has lived in Greece for many years, but I know if I tell him "you are very good, or why don't you try?", he will do his best so I will like him more. I use that to influence his learning in other words. (Melina, research participant)
Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
The dance It was her first school dance as a teacher. The pupils had taken care of everything: the classroom decoration, the food, the refreshments, the music. Now they were standing around wearing their best clothes waiting for some kind of special invitation to the "dance floor". This was her role. To encourage them. “Come on… let’s dance… nice dress, Mary… this is a party… isn’t it?” The most courageous ones followed. Some slow song started. Oh! She was afraid of that. He came and asked her to dance. She could not refuse, she knew how much he wanted it, but she did not want to say "yes". It was such an embarrassment. He was in love with the teacher. She pretended not to understand the
notes, the drawings, the comments. Now on the dance floor he was smiling. He was twelve. She felt like an idiot, a flattered one, though. She reminded herself that he was living with his grandmother. She told him, “You are doing much better with your subjects lately. I am proud of you!” She wondered: “What is the class thinking?” (Margarita, researcher)
Teachers' dealing strategies • De-sexualize the discourse natural process of growth
• Transfer of desire, from the teacher to the learning outcome
maternal factor
Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
This boy had fallen madly in love with me. He was sitting there in the class looking at me {she is looking at me straight in the eyes with an expression of dreamy adoration in her face}. I was talking and he was interrupting, asking about the colour of my eyes. He proposed to me. He asked the physical education teacher to be his best man at our wedding. For six months he sent me pictures with hearts and kittens and messages on the mobile telephone, writing “I love you”. He was calling my phone many times every day, sometimes five or six times, even at midnight, and when I answered he held back. Once he talked to me. He said “Teacher, I love you”. I answered “I love you too. A teacher loves all her pupils”. The rest of the pupils were telling me about his feelings. “I love him too,” I replied. “Loving is nice. I love you all”. “But he loves you differently”, they continued. “There
is no ‘differently’ for the way a pupil loves his teacher. There is only one way, the way I love you and you all love me ”. I believe that they left with the feeling that their teacher did not know much about the ways of life {laughing}. I was not upset with what was happening. I felt that it was nice. That it would not traumatise the boy. I felt it was part of a natural way. I was not embarrassed, but rather amused. We were laughing over it with my colleagues. I believed that at some point it would be over. Can you believe it? Nobody had flirted with me the way this boy was doing. (At the end of the conversation with the recorder off). (Sofia, research participant)
I have a kid in my class who is from X [immigrant origin]. He is in the sixth grade but he was a student of mine in the third grade too. He is terribly fond of me. Wherever I go, he is always behind me, taking care that I don't carry any heavy objects... he carries my bag. He serves me, he opens my car door... it is rather extreme. In the beginning of every new month he sends me a letter with a drawing wishing me "Happy month". Some time ago when I had my birthday, he wrote on my dusty car "Happy Birthday". He even organised a birthday party for me. They told me it was his idea and work. He brought me flowers, they [the whole class] ordered a cake, but it was his idea. In the beginning he was writing to me as Ms Melina now "Ms" has gone. "Melina, I love you". That is, I see that his interest is changing and while he is growing up probably his interest increases... this affection... At least, this is how I see it. I do not know. I believe this is on a different level. It is not the affectionate "Ms Melina, I love you", it is "Melina, I love you". He sees me differently... I do not know. I believe that it is very romantic. That is, I really accept this behaviour. I have not forbidden him to write to me or help me and I believe that... because he is not a good student, that this love or affection that I also show him encourages him to try more. I see an effort and this is important for me. That is, our relationship is based on the interest that I will show in him. If I show more interest, I know he will try more to prove to me that he is good. He will try harder with his homework, I mean. I use that because he has learning problems, he does not speak the language very well, although he has lived in Greece for many years, but I know
if I tell him "you are very good, or why don't you try?", he will do his best so I will like him more. I use that to influence his learning in other words. (Melina, research participant)
Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
The dance It was her first school dance as a teacher. The pupils had taken care of everything: the classroom decoration, the food, the refreshments, the music. Now they were standing around wearing their best clothes waiting for some kind of special invitation to the "dance floor". This was her role. To encourage them. “Come on… let’s dance… nice dress, Mary… this is a party… isn’t it?” The most courageous ones followed. Some slow song started. Oh! She was afraid of that. He came and asked her to dance. She could not refuse, she knew how much he wanted it, but she did not want to say "yes". It was such an embarrassment. He was in love with the teacher. She pretended not to understand the notes, the drawings, the comments. Now on the dance floor he was smiling. He was twelve. She felt like an idiot, a flattered one, though. She reminded herself
that he was living with his grandmother. She told him, “You are doing much better with your subjects lately. I am proud of you!” She wondered: “What is the class thinking?” (Margarita, researcher)
Conclusion • research as an embodied endeavour • the private and the public of the situation • silencing girls and non-normative sexualities • transfer of desire is about control • disregarding authentic experiences -implications for sex education Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008
Thank you margarita.gerouki@helsinki.fi
Diversity and Global Education conference, Helsinki April 25-26, 2008