The Very Bad Dog At some point the dog, a Jack Russell Terrier figured out that he was smarter than the Bloke and I. It started when he realised he could predict human behaviour - you just had to pay attention.
He even started the same nonsense when the neighbours tried to go for a walk - he joined in too but never within arm’s reach. Fearing for his safety they would be forced to turn around and go home. We had to leave a jar of dog treats and a lead tied to the front gate. He was out of control.
The final straw came when I went for a horse ride one day. I have never taken Showering meant he was going to be put the dog with me and for 10 years he has in his kennel and we were going to leave waited patiently in the driveway for me him. As does applying lipstick and perfume. to return. Therefore, these actions equal dog running I rode off down the street and about a off to a neighbouring property for continuing freedom and fun. He just slinks kilometre from home the dog ran straight past me in the middle of the road. off before you even notice, evaporates. Car keys could mean a ride in the car and to ensure it did not become going in the kennel, his plan was to run out of the drive immediately and down the road. Sometimes he would pause at the doorway while considering his options then just bolt, hell for leather. He discovered it is most fun when the dog runs in front of the car and the humans follow. This guarantees a ride even if it is short and the grumpy humans then put you in the kennel. If the humans move the wheelie bin it is an opportunity to accompany them onto the road where you can pee on every letter box in view and play with cars and other humans. If the humans take the grass cutting machine up the driveway ditto – run onto road, narrowly avoid cars while peeing on every letter box.
He didn’t even look at me - just continued ahead only stopping when he was a nice safe distance away. He would not come to me or sit and wait if I approached – he was in charge and there was nothing I could do about it! If I rode faster, then he just ran faster, staying with me but well ahead. A car appeared and swerved to miss him. Now I was worried that he would be killed before my eyes. I decided to just get cracking and get off the busy road as soon as possible. We turn onto a quiet gravel road with large grassy verges and I relax a little – until we came to a cottage and he saw the cat! Now the dog has chased the cat under the house. I am having a nervous breakdown and worried the homeowner will emerge Page 49
