DECLASSIFIEDS

Too scared to ask out that hot girl from Rels class? Have a thought you’re dying to share? Did a professor say something strange or funny? Do you have some information that you want to get out to the student body? Whatever it is, the declassifieds are here for you.

Submit yours at www.marshillnewspaper.com/declassifieds

IM IN LOVE!!!

“Can’t be spicy under this regime” - my fav professor (don’t want to be too spicy and say who)

Who is dis Casper guy, He is Wierd. Dont believe me????

-Casper be friends with me on my singing monsters

This valentine’s day look for purpose and not a girl to propose.

Easy way to get your $75 back: steal silent disco headphones

I still don’t get why TWU does not have an interfaith program. Learning how to live well within religious diversity has to be taken more seriously. #StatsCan

#Alumni2018

A million stars will lead me home to you, Through the desert and the darkest blue. I’ll do it all, make all our dreams come true, Tell me how I could use a wish right now?

“I need to sweat”-Berke Picasso I like it

Why did I take an at class :( (Seth please insert a fun emoji)

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh- hhhh

Me when, me when, me when you and your, me when

Me when cows make a very mooving speech

When my keyboard go clickety clackety, my mental health drippity droppity

I hope that Bret guy writes about Puss in Boots for next issue.

It’s always Yee-Haw and never Haw-Yee

Please let me graduate, I beg of you

Messages have to be kept to 280 characters? How very bold of you to try and limit my declassified prowess. You cannot stop me, my words are long and my messages lengthy. I am inevitable, Thanos wishes he could be me because of how cool I am. I will breeze past your puny character limit so far that you will scream in agony. My crimes are many and my mercies are few. I will never be cut off; in fact, I dare you to cut me off, I dare you to look me in the eyes and delete my declassified.

Editor’s Note: The previous two declassifieds were split from one original submission to avoid going over Mars’ Hills’s 280 character limit for declassified submissions.

Seth what is your favourite type of pizza?

Editor’s note: A good pizza. -Seth

The Bing Chilling Boys is a slept on Boy Band name 3 hour classes are the bane of my exsistence

Legend has it that Maddy McMillan’s great-grand-pappy gave her the keys to the pearly gates of Trinity.

Those three roommates running for twusa rub me the wrong way…

Please kindly stop putting your dirty shoes and smelly feet on furniture around campus. Have some respect, this isn’t your living room.

Everyone always ask when is Mars’ Hill but no one ever ask how is Mars’ Hill

*jazz music stops*

TWUSA ran out of hot chocolate, this is the real election issue

I would kill to have a fjord running right through the middle of campus the only ppl I would trust with the burden of the defunct twu match is mars’ hill. Get on that dating advice column

Editor’s note: Time to bring back the she-vangelist and himnal? -Seth

Normalize ending 3 hour classes early

FNED shall perish under the weight of his nemesis FJORD

All hail FJORD

Hot take: campus needs more fjords

Anybody know the what a long, deep, narrow body of water that reaches far inland would be called?

Fjord

Can we talk about oxbow lakes for a second? Unreal

Am I submitting water themed declassifieds because Seth says we need more? Maybe. Do I still think it’s hilarious? Once again maybe Pond would be cooler if it was a moat Lagoons are in the top 10 best ways to store water for sure

Why don’t we be friends to lovers

Sodexo food this month has me thinking about f—ing suicide mane tf, no food anywhere should do this to somebody

This is for seth and seth only. How do I get a boyfriend?

FACTS! COP27 (in person) is contributing to climate change by getting activists to fly non-electric planes twusa retreat wild

Apply for Mars’ Hill 2023/2024!

Andrew bouchard, you are the most attractive man I’ve ever seen could go for some borsht rn fr

I am too scared to ask out that hot girl from rels class One TWU stories night!

March 3! 7:00 PM! Fort Langley Community Hall!

Never mind! It sold out! Shout out to local news coverage!

Is there something going on with Steven and Naomi? I saw them walking together one night and I swear I saw sparks flying [yellow sparkle emoji]

Puss in boots this, puss in boots that. when are these kids going to be puss-ing their trust in Jesus?

De-Classified or declassified?

Next time I see Mars’ Hill spelt as “Mars Hill” or “Marshill,”, I’m gonna puke many waters cannot quench love

Honestly hating the $30,000 a year school you go to doesn’t make you quirky. Stfu we are all privileged to go here.

Great that the library has featured titles about Black History, yet why was the display moved out of sight and their book sale featured? This is the wrong message. Does not show compassion or interest. Do better!

Say their names! Acknowledge their contribution to the TWU community instead of burying their existence. Allyson Jule, Sonia Grypma, Jenn Skelding, Adrienne Castello…there are many more female faculty who have left under the current administration.

Call your mom. Tell her I love her.

Jeff Gibbons is the best professor on campus

TWU is happy to take your money, but then goes about erasing student’s exist. does anyone have a recording of the 2022 commencement speech? asking for research purposes. send to the One TWU instagram pls & thank you

Why does that one white girl wear braids and get away with it?

“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”

TIL that Trinity has a subreddit. Check out r/twu Crap’s about to hit the fan. The pen is mightier than the sword... and considerably easier to write with.

The problem with political jokes is that they always seem to get elected.

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready... IT’S MIDTERM STRESS TIME!

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is mud.

SEND HOOK!

It’s March, you know what that means.

Oh (bleep). Another epic fail...

Mars’ Hill reserves the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill or its staff, the student association, or Trinity Western University.

When I was asked to create a piece of art centred on the word “ephemeral,” my mind was immediately drawn to the traditional art practice of vanitas . The purpose of vanitas art, an artistic form popular in the 16th and 17th centuries, was to remind the viewer of their own mortality, so they would not forget the transient nature of all things.

When creating this piece, I considered what symbols and objects were traditionally common in vanitas, and bubbles are often portrayed. This is because they are one of the most delicate and ephemeral things in existence. They are here one moment and gone the next. With that as my starting point, I created an image of a girl blowing bubbles, while she simultaneously turns to bubbles as well. The girls and the bubbles are beginning to shatter. Their time here is short and will not last.

Talia Wollf is a second-year Art & Design student. She comes alive when she creates art and hopes to one day have a career in illustration.