Horoscopes

Aries Taurus Gemini

Take care of your teeth this week, Aries. All of them.

Keep your eye on the prize, Taurus, as to avoid seeing what’s behind you.

Mind the gap.

Shadows are slippery things; take care not to lose yours this week, Cancer.

It’s time to use your roar, Leo – is your voice being heard? Is your name being recognised? Can your flatmates actually see you? Do your hands pass through solid objects?

Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius

You have people-pleasing tendencies, Virgo. Learn to set boundaries with firm, clear statements and with circles of salt.

Libra, this is the week to keep things in balance. From the eternal shifting of tides, storms, and sand dunes to your diet and exercise regime – it’s all about balance.

Stranger things have happened, Scorpio, but not often. Best to stay home from that 9AM, just in case.

Capricorn Aquarius

This week, Capricorn, you’ll be as incomprehensible and visually confusing as the goatmermaid hybrid you’re named after. You’ve got it going on, girl!

Aquarius, get out that dehumidifier this week – moss and mould can grow anywhere with enough moisture, like bathrooms, kitchens, and lungs.

Sagittarius, I promise that mysterious smell in the garden will go away this week; I’ll dig it back up.

Pisces

Test your smoke alarms, Pisces. Just solid, good advice.