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EDITOR IN CHIEF Joan Herrmann —
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Lindsay Pearson —
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Matt Herrmann —
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Chris Giordano Andrea Valentie Oliver Pane —
CONTRIBUTORS Rick Hanson, PhD Sean Grover, LCSW Gayle Gruenberg, CPO-CD, CVPO Joan Herrmann Mark Hyman, MD Linda Mitchell, CPC
FROM THE EDITOR — There is an old adage: breaking up is hard to do. Most of us at one time or another have suffered the pain of a broken heart. While we know that hearts don’t literally break, it can be hard to believe it when a relationship has ended. It feels like the place that was once filled with love has been shattered to pieces. I had the opportunity to speak with Amy Chan, a relationship expert who authored the book, Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart. According to Amy, while breaking up can be painful, the heartbreak can be transformed into healing. She says that anyone can turn their greatest heartbreak into a powerful opportunity for growth. From an early age, we are taught about love by fairy tales, love songs, and romantic movies. They show us that relationships should end in a happily ever after. But in reality, those lessons should not be the benchmark by which we measure our success. Amy contends that we should evaluate our relationships for the purpose that they serve in our life. Even though a
breakup has occurred, the experience may have provided a valuable lesson. To rewire a broken heart Amy advises: Allow yourself time to heal and process your emotions. Understand that you will go through the stages of grief and that is okay. Be gentle and nonjudgmental. Don’t distract yourself or avoid your feelings. Reflect on the relationship and recognize your patterns. Ask yourself: Am I making the same decisions? What do I need to do to change the pattern? What am I willing to accept or not accept in the next relationship? Don’t jump into another relationship to heal internal wounds. Expecting a partner to fill an unmet childhood need can create an unhealthy relationship. Other people cannot fill a void within you. Define your definition of love. Often we equate intensity with love. In the beginning of a relationship there is excitement but that will eventually transition to a peaceful, content stage. When that occurs, people tend to think something is wrong. Listen to my conversation with Amy: https://www.cyacyl.com/shows/amy-chan
— Joan Herrmann
AMY CHAN
ISSUE NO.126
INSIDE THIS
ISSUE HOW TOXINS MAKE YOU FAT: FOUR STEPS TO GET RID OF TOXIC WEIGHT BY MARK HYMAN, MD
PAGE 12
LOVE FREELY BY RICK HANSON, PHD
PAGE 20
FIVE STRATEGIES TO HELP YOU STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
ON THIS MONTH’S
C OV E R THERE IS AN OLD ADAGE: BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO. ACCORDING TO AMY CHAN, WHILE BREAKING UP CAN BE PAINFUL, THE HEARTBREAK CAN BE TRANSFORMED INTO HEALING. WITH A DOSE OF TOUGH LOVE, AMY OFFERS ADVICE THAT CAN HELP ANYONE TURN THEIR GREATEST HEARTBREAK INTO A POWERFUL OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH. AMY IS THE FOUNDER OF RENEW BREAKUP BOOT CAMP, THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE, JUST MY TYPE, AND SHE RUNS A PRIVATE COACHING BUSINESS IN NEW YORK CITY. SHE IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK, BREAKUP BOOTCAMP: THE SCIENCE OF REWIRING YOUR HEART. LISTEN TO AMY ON CYACYL: www.cyacyl.com/shows/amy-chan
BY JOAN HERRMANN
PAGE 24
WHY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS WON’T FILL YOUR EMPTINESS BY SEAN GROVER
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CREATE A RESILIENCE RESERVOIR DURING DIFFICULT TIMES BY LINDA MITCHELL
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EXECUTIVE FUNCTION: YOUR BRAIN’S ORCHESTRA CONDUCTOR BY GAYLE GRUENBERG
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APRIL 2021
24 SEVEN MAGAZINE
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APRIL 2021
HOW T OX I N S MAKE YO U FAT: FOUR STEPS TO GET RID O F T OX I C WEIGHT Scientists have uncovered a surprising and disturbing fact: environmental toxins make you fat and cause diabetes
Written by Mark Hyman, MD
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Inside the body, these chemicals monkey with our ability to balance blood sugar and metabolize cholesterol. Over time, the changes can lead to insulin resistance. This discovery should be headline news but no one is talking about it. Why? Because there are no drugs to treat it. In the quest to conquer the two biggest epidemics of our time — diabetes and obesity — we’ve got to turn our attention to the heavy burden environmental toxins put on our bodies. Until conventional medicine catches up, you’ve got to optimize your body’s ability to rid itself of toxins. If your body’s detoxification tools aren’t up to snuff, waste will build up. Overtime, the damage is similar to what happens when trash collectors go on strike and don’t pick up the garbage off the streets. The waste piles high, making the neighborhood smell bad and creating a breeding ground for illness. Don’t let the word detoxification turn you off. You may think it sounds like a new-age idea or something from celebs in Hollywood on the heels of an alcohol or drug binge, but detoxification is a normal, every day function. It’s the body’s way of breaking down and eliminating anything that doesn’t belong. And, these days, there are a lot of things our bodies come into contact with that don’t belong. Take Out the Trash While it’s true that we live in a toxic world, it’s important to remember that there is a lot you can do to enhance your body’s natural ability to detox. The body has four main exit routes for toxins: pee, poop, perspiration and pranayama (sanskrit for breath). I call these the “quadruple P”. Every moment of every day your body is relying on the quadruple P to mobilize, transform, and excrete toxins. Here is a quick primer on how to make the most of each strategy: Pee. The kidneys are responsible for flushing waste from the blood. Make sure you give them what they need by drinking plenty of water. Humans are predominately composed of
water (about 66 percent by weight for men, about 60 percent for women). Drink plenty of clean water, at least eight, eightounce glasses of filtered water a day. One of the first signs of dehydration is the color of your urine. Your urine should be mostly clear (clear enough to read a newspaper through) or with only a slight tinge of yellow. (If you take vitamins, keep in mind that some nutrients, especially riboflavin, causes your urine to turn bright yellow.) But, if your urine is dark yellow or has a strong odor, chances are you aren’t drinking enough. And, of course, you’ll want to make sure you’re not upending your actions by dousing your body with more chemicals. In many communities, tap water is not safe to drink and bottled water isn’t much better. The best option is to filter your own water and carry it with you in stainless steel bottles. If possible, install a reverse osmosis filter in your house, at least for your drinking water or use a carbon filter (like Brita). Poop. One or two well formed bowel movements every day is one of the best ways to give toxins a one-way ticket out of your body. If that goal seems high you’re not alone. As many as 20 percent of people struggle with constipation and, unfortunately, the problem can get more onerous with aging. But, bowel function is something you have a lot of control over. For starters, up your fiber intake. Fiber cleans out the colon by making our stool heftier and easier to expel. Second, drink plenty of water. The body is very good at conserving water. Sometimes it’s almost too good. When the walls of the colon suck too much moisture out of stool, it dries and hardens, which can lead to pebble-like poop and constipation. Drinking more water and other liquids during the day can make your BMs softer and easier to expel. And, if you still can’t get going, then you need some help and this can include taking two tablespoons of ground flax seeds, taking acidophilus and extra magnesium capsules in the form of magnesium citrate. Perspiration. Your skin is your single largest organ of elimination. Make sure you’re maximizing the detox-potential of your pores by working up a sweat at least three times a week. Of course, heart-thumping exercise that gets the body sweating for 20 minutes, three times a week is ideal, since it confers other health benefits. But, if that is not an option, consider using a sauna, steam or detox bath to trigger the body’s natural ability to detoxify itself through sweat. People have long gravitated toward heat as a means of cleansing the physical and emotional body. In particular, people in Scandinavian countries have used saunas for hundreds of years. Some research indicates that sauna therapy increases excretion of heavy metals (lead, mercury, cadmium, and fat-soluble chemicals—PCBs, PBBs, and HCBs). Taking saunas or steam baths also helps reduce stress and balance the
autonomic nervous system. On a purely physical note, sauna therapy can improve circulation, help with weight loss, balance blood sugar and improve detoxification. While the exact mechanism is not clear, it is likely due to its effects on calming the nervous system, relaxing the muscles, and increasing vasodilation. Pranayama. The lungs are the unsung heroes of the body’s detox squad. With each breath, they bring in fresh oxygen and help transport it throughout the body. Unfortunately, the air we breathe is not always clean. Every day the lungs filter out carcinogens in gas fumes, allergens from pets and plants, and spores of mold. Restricted or shallow breathing can diminish the power of the lungs by preventing oxygen from reaching all of your tissues. Breathing deeply and fully will oxygenate your brain, body, and spirit, transforming your health in the process. One of the best ways to harness the power of the lungs to heal and detoxify is to learn how to belly breathe. Start by putting your hand on your belly. Breathe out, squeezing the air out of your lungs with your stomach muscles. As you breathe in, relax your stomach muscles and, after
filling your lungs, try to push your hand off your belly with your breath, filling the lower part of your lungs. Continue to breathe in and out slowly through your nose. Each in and out breath should last to the count of three. Do this for five minutes a day. If you are struggling to lose weight despite eating well and exercising your butt off, toxins may be interfering with your body’s metabolism. Consider applying the rules of the quadruple P to your life.
About The Author
MARK HYMAN Mark Hyman MD is the Director of Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Functional Medicine, the Founder of The UltraWellness Center, and a ten-time #1 New York Times Bestselling author. To Learn More Visit: www.drhyman.com
DISCOVER YOUR INNATE WISDOM AND CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BODY IT'S YOUR BIRTHRIGHT TO LOVE THE BODY YOU'RE IN. CHANGING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BODY STARTS WITH SELF-LOVE. AND THAT - CHANGES YOUR LIFE! CONTACT US TODAY TO RESERVE YOUR SEAT FOR GROUP OR INDIVIDUAL SESSIONS ON YOUR SCHEDULE. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
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April 2021 Issue
Love Freely Written by Rick Hanson, PhD
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In my early 20’s, I went through Rolfing, a form of deep-tissue bodywork, and I nervously anticipated the 5th session, the one that goes deep into the belly. But instead of gobs of repressed emotional pain, what poured out was love – waves and waves of love that I’d pushed down due to embarrassment, fears of closeness, and my struggles with my mother. It felt fantastic to let love flow freely. Compassion, empathy, kindness, liking, affection, cooperation, and altruism are all in our nature, woven into the fabric of human DNA, the most social – and most loving – species on the planet. Love is a natural upwelling current inside us all. It doesn’t need to be pushed or pumped, it needs to be released. If authentic love in any of its forms is bottled up, it hurts. For example, one of the greatest pains is thwarted contribution. Has any aspect of your own love stopped flowing freely? Besides feeling good in its own right, opening to love heals psychological wounds, builds resilience, and supports personal growth. In your brain, love calms down the stress response and reduces activation in the neural circuits of physical and emotional pain. It nourishes moral behavior and helps keep you out of needless conflicts with others. And cultivating a loving heart is central to spiritual practice in every tradition. How? Begin with the experience of love in any form, such as caring, goodwill, friendliness, support, appreciation, seeing the good in others, compassion, fondness, kindness, or cherishing. Can you soften and open to this experience? In a particular relationship or in general, can you make room in your body and mind for love? Is it painful to feel love because it stirs up old frustrated longings . . . so that you dial down the love to suppress the longings? If so, this is understandable and common. Try to help
yourself by letting the longings flow, too, so that they gradually ease and release. Meanwhile, bring awareness back to the love itself, which will lift and protect you. Amazingly – flowing in or flowing out, love is love; wounds from not receiving love are often soothed and even healed by giving love. Sometimes people feel overwhelmed when they connect to others with love. Repeatedly sensing into your breathing and body can help you feel stable as “me” while opening to “we.” See what it’s like to feel both loving and centered in your own strength, respecting and sticking up for your own needs; fences make for good neighbors. Since the brain gradually tunes out what it’s used to, try to see others newly, taking some seconds at least to recognize the being behind the eyes. For example, I’ll imagine another person laughing with friends, or feeling hurt, or as a young child. No one can stop you from loving. I once had a difficult relationship issue and I finally realized that I could simply love this person even if the love needed to be mainly if not entirely internal to me. Not coincidentally, I began feeling better in the relationship and over time, the other person became more comfortable with me. You can offer your compassion and good wishes even if there is nothing you can do to make a situation better. Your love is still sincere and still matters. What others do with your love is on them, not you. All you can do is make the offering. You can love even as you disengage from sticky entanglements, wishing people well even if you need to step back from them. Love comes from an inner freedom in which you’re not controlled by negative reactions. It also leads to a greater freedom in your mind, relationships, and world. Love is a kind of solvent, gradually dissolving the neurotic knots inside your head. In touch with love, you feel less vulnerable and have more room to breathe, speak, and act with others. And walking through the world – whether down a busy street or out in the woods – as no one’s enemy, giving others no cause to fear you, with good wishes and kindness in your heart and face, you feel more like stepping freely into today, and into tomorrow.
About The Author
RICK HANSON, PHD Rick Hanson, PhD, is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UYC Berkeley, and a New York Times bestselling author. His books have been published in 29 languages and include Neurodharma, Resilient, and Hardwiring Happiness. To Learn More Visit: www.RickHanson.net
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April 2021 Issue
Five Strategies to Help You Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
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Written by Joan Herrmann
How many times have you heard, the best step you can take to grow as a person is to step outside your comfort zone and take risks? This is the theme of just about every self-help book I have ever read, and it has been stated to me by just about every person I have interviewed. I take this advice to heart, and it governs most everything I do. But, even as a staunch practitioner, it’s not always easy advice to follow. We are wired to avoid risks, so opening ourselves up to possible pain seems contradictory to all that is wise. But, playing it safe seldom leads to achieving goals and growth. Experiencing what may not always be a favorable outcome, while not enjoyable, really does have positive results. A few years ago I was invited to attend a black tie charity event for an organization in which I am involved. My initial response was to decline the invitation because I would be attending by myself and I would not know anyone there. Since my divorce I had gotten accustomed to going to functions alone, but I knew this event would be different and uncomfortable for me. Not allowing fear to govern my actions, with the belief that I must step out of my comfort zone, and because I wanted to support the organization, I agreed to attend. I purchased a new dress, did the whole glam thing, and psyched myself up for a wonderful evening! As I drove to the car valet, I watched car after car of couples emerge and enter the venue, two by two, like animals boarding Noah’s Ark. A feeling of dread built inside of me as everything I imagined
was coming to fruition. It would have been so easy to hit the accelerator and drive out of the lot, but onward I went. I surrendered my car (and, yes, it was a surrender) and entered the building. I was immediately overwhelmed by the crowd that surrounded me. It was a private world in which everyone there resided and I was a visitor; there was no welcome mat. Now, here’s the part where you usually hear that after experiencing a period of awkwardness, I met someone, spent the evening in tantalizing conversation, and everything worked out in the end. Nope! I walked around the room hoping to find an opening in which to engage, but none existed. After one hour of feeling like a fish out of water, I went home. Rejected and sad, I berated myself for getting into the situation. I’m usually very good in social settings, which is why I thought I could handle the situation, but, this evening was different and I was very wrong. But here’s the good part … even though the event didn’t turn out as I planned, I was proud of myself for not avoiding the situation. It is only by experiencing that evening that I was able to grow and learn how to handle those types of activities differently in the future. I put myself out there and tried something outside of my comfort zone. It wasn’t fun, but I have done it many times since … just differently. When encountering something outside of your comfort zone, here’s my advice:
professional social situations. From The Story
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”
Know that you are not alone. Most people, at one time or another, no matter who they are or what they do, have felt the way you do. We are human and experience human emotions. Just because someone else appears to be “all together” doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t hurt and isn’t afraid, too. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Do not give up! Learn and grow. Remember, like the old adage states, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”
Have a plan. What was I thinking? I knew going in that I did not know anyone attending so why didn’t I have a plan? I went with the flow, which isn’t always the best practice. Sometimes you need to strategize and know what to expect. I learned to bring a friend or colleague with me, or do my homework and be sure to have a person to meet there. It is always better with a partner in crime. Develop a contingency. Even the best laid plans may not work. Always have an out. Know the escape route, if necessary. Understand that it will be scary and be OK with it. Nothing that helps you grow is easy. If everything worked out, I would not be stronger today. That experience forced me to think and re-evaluate how I handled
About The Author
JOAN HERRMANN Joan Herrmann is the creator of the Change Your Attitude…Change Your life brand and host of the radio show and podcast, Conversations with Joan. She is a motivational speaker and the publisher of 24 Seven magazine. To Learn More Visit: www.JoanHerrmann.com
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Why Romantic Relationships Won’t Fill Your Emptiness Written by Sean Grover, LCSW
T The secret to happy romantic relationships is straightforward: Start by being happy alone. You may view this as an oversimplification, but I’ve spent over 25 years as a group psychotherapist, studying how people manage their feelings in relationships and exploring communication styles. I can assure you of this: Nothing predicts the demise of a relationship faster than solely depending on your partner to fill the sense of emptiness you feel inside. What causes a feeling of emptiness in romantic relationships? “Emptiness” is often a symptom of unresolved pain. For example, somewhere in your past relationships, an emotional
wound was left unhealed. Such wounds are most often caused by someone intimately close, such as a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a lover. The delicate process of understanding the source of such pain is challenging. Many people deny it and seek “solutionships,” i.e., a partner who will make it go away. The expectation that a romantic partner will fill the emptiness that you feel may provide for an exciting honeymoon period, but the relationship won’t endure in the long term. Unpacking that feeling of emptiness begins with exploring the unresolved pain, investigating what part of your history needs deeper levels of understanding, and working to heal yourself. Ultimately, this is the ideal preparation for any healthy romantic relationship. Common Mistakes of “Solutionships” Here are common misfires that many folks make when they expect a romantic relationship to meet all their needs: Confusing “relationship issues” with self-issues. If you suffer from anxiety or depression, a new romantic relationship may drive those symptoms into dormancy, but those feelings will eventually resurface. Like a house built on a faulty foundation, when one person in a relationship ignores their emotional issues, the relationship will be unstable. Perhaps one of the most common mistakes people make in romantic relationships is blaming their partner for self-issues, i.e., issues that existed before the romantic relationship began. For example, many people remain in unhealthy relationships because they can’t tolerate being alone. To them, loneliness is evidence that they are unloveable. But rather than spend time understanding how to be a better company to themselves, they seek comfort from others and cling to them for relief. This explains why many people may stay in unhealthy relationships (even when knowing that they deserve better).
From The Story
“Sometimes the hurt is so bad, you wonder if you will be the same again.”
Weighing down your partner with excessive expectations. We bring our unmet childhood needs into our romantic relationships. Frequently, we hope that a new partner will fill those needs. Like a small child crying for attention and love, we may demand our partner give us all the attention and love that our parents failed to provide. This puts an excessive burden on a romantic partner. With such high expectations, your partner will begin to feel burdened and weighed down by your neediness. They soon feel that they can never satisfy you, no matter how hard they try. A chronic need for validation fosters unhealthy dependency. It’s natural for people in romantic relationships to seek validation from each other. We all want to feel understood by those close to us. However, a chronic need for validation is symptomatic of placing too much of your self-worth on a relationship. As Buddhist peace advocate Daisaku Ikeda writes, “Nobody defines your self-worth but you.” An endless need for validation will eventually weigh down your partner and drain the joy out of any romantic relationship. If you really want to be blessed with a healthy romantic relationship, start by blessing yourself.
About The Author
SEAN GROVER Sean Grover, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and the author of When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully and Enjoy Being a Parent Again. To Learn More Visit: www.SeanGrover.com
April 2021 Issue
Create A Resilience Reservoir During Difficult Times Written by Linda Mitchell, CPC, LMT
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How do we stay resilient during unusually difficult times? Resiliency is one of those skills that requires you to struggle or falter a bit in order to hone the skill of bouncing back. The more hurdles you face and conquer, the more resiliency you’ll naturally develop. Adopting a healthy, feel-good routine will boost your resiliency and your immunity at the same time! Here are some helpful practices: Engage in a gratitude practice. Don’t just do it haphazardly, choose a day of the week or a regular time each day to write down a few things for which you are grateful. Challenge yourself to never repeat an entry. After a few weeks you’ll have a beautiful gratitude list to serve as a wonderful pick-me-up on down days. Those who can find things to be grateful for, especially in challenging times, have stronger immune systems and a more positive outlook, both of which help us cope with difficulties and develop resiliency. Be a container of compassion. When others try your patience, the quickest path to harmony is compassion. Compassion is the ability to relate to other’s suffering without judgement. Look at the situation from their perspective. People who give and receive compassion have stronger immune systems, experience less pain and suffering, and bounce back faster from setbacks and hardships. Self-compassion is critical here too. Taming your inner critic and showing yourself compassion advances acceptance and resilience. Foster flexibility. Suffering is the inability to accept what is. You won’t always like what you’re faced with, but acceptance it is the first step to healing. Judgement, criticism and comparison make things worse. Expecting things to be just as they were is unrealistic, accentuates suffering, and keeps you from making necessary changes. Finding flexibility means removing rigidity. Seek ways to create some measure of happiness each
day. Practice living in the present moment to discover small pleasures each day. This spontaneously expands your capacity for joy and helps release daily struggles with greater ease. As your resiliency grows, you’ll also naturally begin to discern what’s most valuable to you going forward. Practice forgiveness. Let go of old resentments or transgressions. Studies show those who practice forgiveness experience less stress, lower their blood pressure, feel less pain, and find greater satisfaction in life. Forgiveness is actually a greater gift to yourself than to the transgressor. Often the person who wronged you has long forgotten the offense while you marinate in the hurt. Letting go serves you well. Remember too that most people are simply trying to do their best in tough times, so have patience. Create intentional downtime. Whether you spend it reading, reflecting, praying or meditating, quiet time is crucial to building resiliency. There’re no right or wrong way to do it just begin. Schedule alone time whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. Banish expectations and simply practice being in the stillness, honoring whatever comes up for you. You’ll find you benefit much more than expected. Celebrate the small stuff. Find big and little reasons to celebrate each day. Encourage those in your circle to do the same. It lifts spirits and creates a playful, easy atmosphere in the home where we’re all spending much more time. Focusing on the good versus the imperfect is a healthy way to strengthen relationships and create more harmony. Do things that make you laugh every day. These practices definitely help you align with your true self and will create a resilience reservoir you can draw from on difficult days. Accept the messiness of life, allow yourself to stumble and get back up again. These days we have plenty of opportunities to practice. Adopt a resiliency mindset and nothing will hold you back!
About The Author
LINDA MITCHELL Linda Mitchell is a board-certified Transition Coach, speaker, reinvention expert and LMT. She empowers people who are stuck, overwhelmed or ready for change to release their struggle, gain clarity, balance and meaningful direction as they move through life’s challenges and transitions and step into their highest purpose. To Learn More Visit: www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com
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APRIL 2021
ISSUE NO.126
E X E C U T I V E F U N C T I O N : YO U R B R A I N ’ S O R C H E S T R A C O N D U C T O R Written by Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD, CVPO
Consider everything you do every day. You move, think, work, relate to other people, have emotions, make decisions. Most of us take these capabilities for granted. However, our brains are hard at work, coordinating every single activity we engage in. There is an area of the brain right behind the forehead called the prefrontal cortex. The pre frontal cortex is the last part of the brain to develop and is the most evolved. It governs many higher-level activities involving mental control and self-regulation. These activities are called executive functions and include inhibition, shifting, emotional control, initiation, working memory, planning, and self-monitoring. The pre frontal cortex is like the conductor of an orchestra, coordinating every instrument and section to create harmonious music. Similarly, the prefrontal cortex keeps everything a body does in sync. Brain-based conditions like ADHD, learning challenges, a traumatic injury, or addiction may affect someone’s executive functions. When executive functions are compromised, the ability to organize is as well. Organizing requires many skills governed by executive function. One is the ability to categorize and identify the similarities and differences between things. Sequencing, or knowing what to do in what order, is also needed when organizing. Spatial relations, the ability to fit things into a physical space, is essential when organizing a home or office, and can be compromised if the prefrontal cortex is not operating optimally. People living with executive function challenges may have trouble starting and/or completing tasks and may not be adept at prioritizing them. They may listen or read attentively but still forget what they just heard or read. They may have trouble following directions or may panic when rules or routines change. Switching focus from one task to another can also be very difficult. People with executive function challenges may get overly emotional and fixate or hyper focus on things. They may have trouble organizing their thoughts, keeping track of their belongings, and managing their time. Being aware of one’s executive function challenges is the first step in creating organizing systems that fit. Some people with executive function challenges can perform organizing tasks themselves but require a bit of support. One particularly effective technique is called “body doubling.” A body double is a non-judgmental friend, family member, or professional who is present, either physically or virtually, for someone with executive
function challenges. The body double acts as an anchor and accountability partner, holding the space for the individual with executive function challenges, as well as encouraging, reminding, and helping to facilitate the completion of difficult executive function tasks. Techniques that externalize executive functions can be helpful. These may include the use of timers as reminders to switch activities; checklists posted around the house or office to ensure sequencing, follow-through, and completion of tasks; and apps to prioritize work or household tasks. Just like a conductor needs to ensure that every instrument or section of an orchestra is warmed up and tuned before playing, the brain of someone with executive function challenges needs to be supported to ensure that all of its tasks are working in concert.
About The Author
GAYLE GRUENBERG Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®, CVPO™ is the chief executive organizer of Let’s Get Organized, LLC, an Organizer Coach, and the creator of the Make Space for Blessings system. To Learn More Visit: www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com
