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EDITOR IN CHIEF Joan Herrmann —
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Lindsay Pearson —
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Matt Herrmann —
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Chris Giordano Andrea Valentie Oliver Pane —
CONTRIBUTORS Paul Denniston Guy Finley Gayle M. Gruenberg Joan Herrmann Joyce Marter Linda Mitchell, CPC
FROM THE EDITOR — We all are going to get older, there is nothing we can do about that. But did you know that in addition to a chronological age, you also have a biological age? Your biological age can be measured by assessing how your genes are expressed through epigenetics. I recently had the opportunity to speak with Dr. Kara Fitzgerald, who has been conducting exciting new research that shows your biological age can actually move in reverse! She shared with me information about a diet and lifestyle plan that can influence your epigenetics for a younger you. Dr. Fitzgerald lectures globally on functional medicine. She is on the faculty at the Institute for Functional Medicine and maintains a clinical practice in Newtown, Connecticut. She is the author of the book, Younger You Reverse Your Bio Age — and Live Longer, Better. Listen to the conversation with Dr. Fitzgerald: www.cyacyl.com/shows/kara-fitzgerald
— Joan Herrmann
DR. KARA FITZGERALD
ISSUE NO.138
INSIDE THIS
ISSUE TIPS FOR TRANSITIONING BACK INTO THE OFFICE BY JOYCE MARTER
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ON THIS MONTH’S
C OV E R DR. KARA FITZGERALD SHARES A DIET AND LIFESTYLE PLAN THAT SHOWS YOU HOW TO INFLUENCE YOUR EPIGENETICS FOR A YOUNGER YOU. LISTEN TO THE CONVERSATION WITH DR. FITZGERALD: www.cyacyl.com/shows/kara-fitzgerald
THE QUALITIES OF A GOOD FRIEND BY JOAN HERRMANN
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FIRST STEPS FOR DISMANTLING FEAR BY GUY FINLEY
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THE POWER IN SURRENDERING BY LINDA MITCHELL
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CURE THE PAPER PLAGUE! BY GAYLE M. GRUENBERG
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GRIEF YOGA – THE BODY REMEMBERS BY PAUL DENNISTON
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P H OTO C R E D I T: K I M H E N D E R S O N P H OTO G R A P H Y
24 SEVEN MAGAZINE
ISSUE N O. 1 3 8
M AY 2022
TI PS FO R T R A NS I T I O NI N G BAC K I NTO THE OFFICE There’s no doubt that coronavirus has changed the way we work and live. Many people who have never worked from home found themselves learning to adapt to the “new normal” of not being in the office. That took a lot of adjusting. Today, many employers are requiring employees to go back to their office part-time or full-time. This transition has understandably created significant unwelcomed stress and anxiety. As a psychotherapist and national corporate trainer, I’ve been conducting webinars for companies globally to help employees emotionally prepare to successfully return back to the office. The following universal self-care tips can set you up for a successful return to the workplace.
Written by Joyce Marter
Shift your mindset back into a routine by starting your day right. Establish a structured morning routine that works for you and starts your day on the right foot. If you are a planner, plan your outfit, a nutritious breakfast, and set the coffee maker the night before. If not, leave yourself time in the morning for selfcare. Practice a morning meditation or set intentions for the day. Think positive. According to neuroscience, the brain creates neural pathways based on our habits and behaviors. When negative thinking becomes the norm, it becomes our default pattern. With positive thinking and repeated new behaviors, we train our brains to create new neural pathways. As the pathways become stronger, positive thinking can become the new normal. Practice gratitude and acceptance. Gratitude is a choice. I’ve seen unhappy people with great financial prosperity and happy people who practice gratitude with very little. Gratitude can help positively reframe negative situations. Positive reframing is a technique where you try to reconsider things in a positive light to transform your thinking. Manage your sleep. Set a notification one hour before your optimal bedtime. Use the next 30 minutes to wrap up what you are doing and then put away your device for the night. Use the next 30 minutes to read, journal, take a hot lavender bath, or do a guided meditation. Don’t ditch the workout. Establish a workout routine by putting it on your calendar and then visualize yourself doing it. Make it a realistic routine so you aren’t setting yourself up for failure. Dress the part. Working from home gave us an opportunity to loosen up that professional look. Now that you are going back to the office, make sure your clothes fit and you feel comfortable in them and you are looking your best. Reintegrate the commute time. One of the biggest perks of working from home was the zero commute time. You can get that time back by commuting to work with friends or co-workers or listening to podcasts, audiobooks, or music during your commute. Use this time to reinvigorate yourself. Plan for healthy meal prep throughout the week. Sundays are a good day for meal planning for the entire week. If you don’t have time, consider meal-kit providers like Hello Fresh that deliver healthy prepped food to your doorstep. Manage your dependents. Maybe you were able to eliminate childcare costs or pet sitter costs because you worked from home. Be grateful for the money you saved. Now, take time to research the most convenient, dependable and affordable options for you. Introduce daily self-care practices at work. Pack a self-care kit for work including healthy snacks, teas, hand lotions, essential oils, sneakers to go for a walk during lunch. Consider anything else that will make you comfortable or give you a refresh throughout the day.
Recalibrate expectations to zero. Before heading back to work, mentally scan for any expectations you may have, mindfully let them go, and cultivate an attitude of openness and receptivity. You might be surprised by the results. Delegate and access support. Maybe you’ve taken on more responsibilities while working at home. Before you jump back in, create a to-do list and ask yourself, “Am I the best person to do this? Am I the only person who can do this? Do I enjoy doing this? Is this worth my time?” Outsource tasks you don’t enjoy, when possible. Identify where you need help and ask for it. Embrace mindfulness. Mindfulness is especially useful as it facilitates creativity, flexibility, and adaptability which enhances decision-making and financial outcomes. Recording your mindfulness practices in an app or journal can keep you on track. The reality is change is hard especially when it disrupts a routine. At first, working from home might have sounded too good to be true. No more commute time or traffic jams? But what about the intrusion of work into your home life? A recent study looked at the impact of working from home during the pandemic. Negatives included family-work conflict and social isolation which caused unwanted stress. Meanwhile, self-leadership and autonomy were positively related. There’s no doubt returning to work will require adjustments. While in the office you no longer need to worry and apologize about background noise from your pets, kids, or your neighbor mowing the lawn. However, it may take some time to get used to distractions and noise from coworkers. To cope with change, set some boundaries with yourself and others. A study showed working at home during the pandemic blurred lines between work and leisure time. Maybe you did household chores or ran some errands throughout the day. Perhaps you regularly responded to emails after hours or on the weekend because of the proximity of your work computer to your living room. Now’s the time to set new boundaries. Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, shares some wise words, “Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy.” Keep this philosophy in mind when managing your transition back to the office.
About The Author
JOYCE MARTER Joyce Marter is a licensed psychotherapist, entrepreneur, national public speaker, and a mental health thought leader. She is the founder of Urban Balance and the author of The Financial Mindset Fix: A Mental Fitness Program for an Abundant Life. To Learn More Visit: www.JoyceMarter.com
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THE Q UA L I T I E S OF A GOOD FRIEND Written by Joan Herrmann
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Making friends is tough. It takes time, trust, and a little bit of luck. Thanks to Facebook, the word ‘friend’ has taken on a new meaning. What was once reserved to describe special people in our lives, is now used to describe just about everyone. But, do all of these people live up to the definition of a true friend? Or, are they merely acquaintances from which we expect so much more? Someone asked me what I believe are the qualities of a good friend. To answer this question, I looked at my relationships to find
some commonalities and to examine my behavior. In doing so, I compiled a list of what I believe describes a good friend. There are many more qualities that can be added, but I think these are the biggies. Finding someone who embodies these attributes and being this person for another is a true gift. Keeps your secrets. Perhaps one of the best ways to determine true friendship is to see who keeps your secrets. A true friend would never make you the subject of idle gossip and would go to the grave with something you said in confidence. Finding a confidant can be quite challenging, but when you do, cherish that person and hold on with everything you’ve got.
From The Story
“To have a friend and be a friend is one of life’s greatest joys.”
Offers light when you lose your way. A true friend is always there to listen when you are not sure about anything in your life. This person provides light and comfort, when everything goes dark, and is always by your side (even when you don’t ask for help). Provides unconditional love. You don’t have to work for a true friend’s affection; the love is not based on what you do for him or her. This person doesn’t care about your financial status or job position. You are loved solely because of who you are. To have a friend and be a friend is one of life’s greatest joys. As Albert Camus said, “Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
Does not judge. We all make mistakes and do stupid things. A true friend does not judge you and will not treat you differently, no matter what you’ve done. He or she will stand by your side when everyone else has turned against you. A true friend likes you because of who you are. Tells you things you may not want to hear. Sometimes you may not see that you’re involved in harmful behavior, physically or emotionally. You may be in a romantic relationship that doesn’t serve you well, have a dead end job, or be abusing substances. During these times, a true friend will tell you things you don’t necessarily want to hear. This person will speak the hard truths and will be someone on whom you can depend for brutal honesty. Motivates you to do better. A true friend is your cheerleader who sees your potential and pushes you to do better. This person is not jealous of your accomplishments and will always encourage you to believe in yourself, because he or she believes in you. This friend challenges you and builds you up, he or she doesn’t tear you down.
About The Author
JOAN HERRMANN Joan Herrmann is the creator of the Change Your Attitude…Change Your life brand and host of the radio show and podcast, Conversations with Joan. She is a motivational speaker and the publisher of 24 Seven magazine. To Learn More Visit: www.JoanHerrmann.com
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M AY 2 0 2 2
ISSUE NO.138
F I R S T STEPS FOR DISMANTLING F E A R Written by Guy Finley
Are you afraid of some condition in your life? Here’s a life-transforming secret: that seemingly scary condition, whatever it may be, is not the problem. It is your reaction that is fearful. This is why if you will become conscious of your condition instead of afraid of it, you will change forever your relationship with fear. It is only within this special kind of inner-relationship that there is real safety, because now you are interacting with fear in an entirely new way. You are no longer letting it dictate to you how to act or what to do. Instead, you are aware of the fear. You are learning to quietly observe and study it. And, each day, as you discover something new about the strange and shaky nature of your own fearful reactions, they begin to lose their power over you. Why? Because you are at last seeing them for what they have always been: unintelligent mechanical forces. You are slowly becoming stronger than they are because by seeing them as they are - not as they would have you see them you have helped yourself to climb above and outside of their influence. This self-insight is the difference between trembling through your life and being in command of it. To be consciously afraid means that you know you are frightened, but at the same time you know that these very fears, as real as they may seem, are not you. And no wrong reaction can keep you captive once you begin to see it for what it is. Fear is, and has always been, nothing but a self-limiting reaction that we cling to in the darkness of our present lifelevel, having mistaken it for a shield of self-protection. But, just as the faintest of early morning sunlight can dispel the night-long darkness, so does the smallest of insights into a persistent fear lead to letting it go. You can prove this powerful principle to yourself anytime you want. Just dare to proceed even while being afraid. But remember, your new aim isn’t to be courageous or to try and act strong in the face of fear. No. We’ve seen that this won’t work. You simply want to be more curious about your frightened thoughts and feelings than you want to believe in them. If you will follow this simple but higher instruction, not only will you start to see these habitual reactions that have been keeping you scared and running, you’ll actually start seeing through them. This is where the real miracle occurs. Each new insight into the actual nature of these negative reactions removes some of their power over you. And their loss is your gain. You are stronger now and you know it. You also know this new strength will never fail you because it isn’t just the temporary appearance of a bold opposite. This new strength of yours is the absence of an old weakness.
Let’s look at just one of the ways in which this principle of putting self-illumination before psychological self-protection can turn fear into fearlessness. Do you know someone who you would rather run from than run into? Most of us do! Nevertheless, starting right now, resolve never again to avoid any person that scares you. In fact, go ahead and walk right up to that critical man or aggressive woman and say or do exactly what you want instead of letting the fear tell you to do what it wants. Have no ideas at all about the way things should or shouldn’t go. You are there to watch and learn about yourself, not to win an ego victory. Let that person see you shake if that is what starts to happen. What do you care? Besides, it is only temporary. That unpleasant person before you can’t know it, but you are shaking yourself awake. For the first time, you are letting your reactions roll by instead of letting them carry you away. As you stand there, momentarily apart from your usual self and working hard to remain as inwardly watchful as you know how, you can see that this flood of previously unconscious reactions has its own life story; a shaky sort of story that up until now you had embraced as your own. But now you are beginning to see the whole story. The fears do not belong to you. Here is the explanation: You have never been afraid of another person. The only thing you have ever been frightened by is your own thoughts about that person. Yes, you did feel fear, but it wasn’t yours and it wasn’t towards someone stronger than you. The fear you felt was in what you thought he or she was thinking about you. Amazing isn’t it? You have been afraid of your own thoughts! And seeing this ends this. Now you can let this thought-self go, because no one holds on to terror.
About The Author
GUN FINLEY Guy Finley is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and bestselling self-help author. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for transcendent self-study located in Merlin, Oregon. He also hosts the Foundation’s Wisdom School — an on-line selfdiscovery program for seekers of higher self-knowledge. Guy presents two free talks each week via GoToWebinar. Each talk is followed by an open Q&A session. To Learn More Visit: www.GuyFinley.org/online
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May 2022 Issue
The Power in Surrendering Written by Linda Mitchell, CPC, LMT
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For most people, the first impression of surrender is that of quitting, failing, waving the white flag. But that’s simply our cultural perspective; what you’ve been taught to believe about surrendering. If you dig deeper into a fuller meaning of surrender, you open to the totality of the act and allow yourself to see and experience the advantages of surrendering. What if you could trust that the act of surrendering would lead you to new ideas, options and experiences that create more ease and joy and less stress and strife in your life? Trust is an integral part of surrender. Surrendering requires you to be detached from just one particular outcome. By allowing yourself to detach from one desired outcome you are trusting what fills that void is more aligned. Perhaps it comes from trusted advice, an intuitive hit, or wisdom in the form of a new thought, idea or action step. Whatever comes up, receive it. Discern if it’s in alignment and then act on it. That’s the gift of surrendering. Surrendering does not mean giving up. It’s not quitting. It’s yielding to resiliency. It’s releasing what isn’t working. It’s trusting and allowing better things to emerge. What would happen if you surrendered your need for control? What if you released the need to have expectations of the day and of others? What if you trusted in yourself, your intuition or your higher power to guide you instead? For sure things would flow with greater ease! From this perspective, surrender is not at all a bad thing. I always say, the quieter I get the more I hear. It’s why I’m such a fan of meditation. Meditation isn’t about controlling your thoughts - it’s about keeping your thoughts from controlling you. Another beautiful act of surrender. When you get still, you get out of your head
and into your heart. It’s then you connect to your inner guidance. When you pair logic with intuition, you’re more aligned with the voice of your soul. You’ll make better decisions. Practice this daily to become familiar with the insights, grace and peace born of silence and surrender. Don’t press yourself to hear anything. Some days you won’t. It’s still worthwhile to practice and wait for those pivotal days when you get a flash of wisdom, intuition, guidance or inspiration. Those days are so significant it makes all those quiet days where nothing comes up, totally fine. It’s like making coffee. You must let the brewing happen before the water becomes that delicious beverage. So, allow the process to unfold. Give yourself some grace and space to observe, allow and surrender. What if you surrendered what no longer serves you? How liberated and wonderful would you feel? Surrendering an old idea or habit may be exactly what’s needed if you discover your priorities have changed, the outcome you wanted no longer has the same appeal or excitement. Surrendering to something better is not negative at all! Here are some affirmations around surrendering. See which ones resonate with you and say them out loud. Write them down and repeat them daily until you embody them! • I surrender critical self-talk • I surrender the expectations of how I think things should be. • I surrender the need to be right. • I surrender lack and fear. • I surrender unnecessary and negative thoughts and things.
About The Author
LINDA MITCHELL Linda Mitchell, board-certified transition coach, speaker, reinvention expert, and LMT. She empowers people who are stuck, overwhelmed or ready for change to confidently transition into their next meaningful role with clarity, purpose and ease to emerge more peaceful, passionate, joyful and fulfilled. To Learn More Visit: www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com
M AY 2 0 2 2
ISSUE NO.138
CURE THE PA P E R PLAGUE! Written by Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®, CVPO
A Are you maddened by mail? Crazed by credit card and charity requests? Overwhelmed by special offers? Inundated by bogus invitations? Besieged by bills? Even in our “paperless” society, we receive over 120 billion pieces of mail each year in the United States. If you find it challenging to deal with the paper in your life, you’re completely justified in your distress. The number one reason clients call a professional organizer is to help them manage their paper. The key to controlling paper is to have a system and do a little bit every day. Here are a few of my favorite techniques for staying on top of the daily deluge. Stop paper at the door and go digital. Opt to receive bank and investment statements, bills, and receipts electronically. When the mail comes in, sort it immediately, always in the same place, and near the recycling bin. Toss the junk mail. What is junk mail? That’s up to you. It could be anything that doesn’t meet a need you have right now. If you don’t need a new credit card, rip up the offer and recycle it immediately. Not ready to make a donation? It’s OK to pass up the free return address labels and notepads. Those coupon packs? Do you really go to those places? If not, toss the whole envelope without even opening it. Have a “landing pad” for paper bills you still receive, things you want to read, and invitations you receive. I like to have a small file system in the kitchen, a “command central.” It could be a drawer in a cabinet or a small desktop file box. Create a file system that works for the way you think. Have five to seven broad categories and label them with titles that will let you find what you need quickly.
Color code the folders and label them clearly (everyone loves a label-maker). If they are attractive, you’ll be more likely to use them. Schedule 15 minutes with yourself each week (put in your calendar) to address the items in the file system that have to be acted on – pay the bills, reply to the invitation and add the event to your calendar, purge anything expired. Better yet, if time permits, act on them as they come in, and then they won’t be hanging over your head. Scan important documents and store them electronically – on your computer, flash- or external hard drive, or on a secure site in the cloud. Shred the hard copy. Share access with loved ones in case of emergency. Read current issues of magazines and other publications when they arrive. Tear out articles you want to keep, scan them into a designated folder on your computer, then recycle the old issue when the new one comes. Subscribe to the digital version of your subscriptions. Take pictures of your children’s masterpieces and keep those instead of every scribble, collage, or paper towel sculpture they bring home.
About The Author
GAYLE GRUENBERG Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®, CVPO, is the chief executive organizer of Let’s Get Organized, LLC, an organizer coach, and the creator of the Make Space for Blessings system. . To Learn More Visit: www.LGOrganized.com
20 22
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Grief Yoga– The Body Remembers Written by Paul Denniston
Men don’t cry, toughen up and be strong.” As a shy kid growing up in Southern Texas, I was taught that sadness was a sign of weakness. I never felt like I fit in. Instead of allowing others to witness my sadness, I would isolate myself from others. That disconnection happened socially, but also physically too. I began to over eat and drown my feelings. I avoided gym class for the fear of being ridiculed. As I became older, I ran away from any feelings of sadness or grief by becoming active. I put on a happy face and became very busy. I avoided anyone who was a “downer”. I didn’t attend my grandfather’s funeral. Even as I was well into adulthood, I avoided my best friend’s mother’s funeral. I knew her well and disappointed my friend when I wasn’t there for him. I searched for relationships to help complete me but felt heartbroken when they didn’t work. There was an imbalance I was experiencing in my relationships that reflected my life. I felt this calling to attend a yoga class. After much resistance, I finally allowed myself to experience yoga. Something opened up within my body that allowed my mind to calm down and focus on the present moment. Tears began to flow. I experienced peace. As I continued taking yoga classes, I would catch myself constantly focusing on the past, or fear and anxiety of the future. As I learned to surrender to the present moment, my
body opened up to feelings. The thoughts of my critical mind and feelings of not being enough started to come up for me to compassionately embrace. I would observe and allow them to pass. I would surrender to feelings on my yoga mat and located where I was experiencing the sensation in my body. I started to tune into my body and listen. I was holding a lot of issues in my tissues. After experiencing the feelings fully, I felt lighter afterwards. My broken heart would bring up failed relationships that I was still processing. Yoga allowed my chaotic mind to become focused in the present and say it’s okay to just be and feel. I became aware that my body remembered all the unresolved grief and anger I had suppressed. I explored emotions that I had numbed out with food, alcohol and drug. I had suppressed and hid fears, sadness and insecurities so well that I didn’t know they were there. I went deeper into my yoga practice and became a teacher. This practice helped me to be more centered, clear, focused, and empowered. I wanted to share this amazing tool with others. After my initial teacher training, I broke my wrist and was out of commission for a bit. I had to slow down. My wonderful old dog, Angel, was sick and not doing well. My sister was dying from advanced stage 4 cancer. I felt like my body was breaking and so was my beloved sister and dog. The sadness was back again. Once more I brought it all to my yoga mat. I learned patience and surrender. My physical body adjusted and healed but it taught me great lessons on how to modify for myself and for my students. My sister and dog passed away, but this time I was present for the loss and sadness. I let it wash through me instead of running away from it. As a teacher, I love setting an intention for a class. I became fascinated in creating an entire practice with the intention of healing grief and loss. As I embraced my own grief, I learned how these feelings are universal. We all experience loss. If we don’t fully honor the loss and our feelings, it can become stuck within the body.
From The Story
“After experiencing the feelings fully, I felt lighter afterwards.”
The body remembers. I continued on my yoga journey studying under masters like Gurmukh and Seane Corn. I become a teacher of many branches of yoga including Hatha Yoga, Vinayasa Flow, Restorative Yoga, Kundalini Yoga, Laughter Yoga, and Let Your Yoga Dance. I volunteered giving Compassionate Heart Touch to people in hospice in their final stage of life. I studied loss with grief expert David Kessler. I decided to create a class that I would love to take. My intention with my Grief Yoga class is to create a ritual to use pain and suffering as fuel for healing. I knew that unresolved grief was the shadow aspect of the heart. I wanted to create a special sacred yoga ritual. I was inspired by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s stages of grief and focused on exercises that had focused intention to help students move through anger, regret, disappointment, and loss. The class focuses on healing a broken heart to bring us back to love instead of suffering. Something healing happens in a compassionate yoga session focused on embracing the feelings of grief. The postures, movements and breathing techniques allow students to befriend their body and relationship with loss. The graceful yet powerful movement helps them access their submerged feelings. Our grief can be a gift if we embrace it, or it can swallow us up. I’m teaching what I need to remind myself. It’s okay to show vulnerability. That vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s actually a place of strength. I now travel the world teaching this practice. I’ve taught Grief Yoga to over 6000 therapists and counselors and recognize that grief is actually a gift. We run from the pain of loss. Grief is the gift of healing. It’s an expression of how much we’ve loved. Life is precious. With Grief Yoga, I’ve learned to honor the love, not the pain. I’m grateful that it has helped me and so many others heal our feelings of loss and move toward empowerment.
About The Author
PAUL DENNISTON Paul Denniston is the founder of Grief Yoga®, which uses yoga, movement, breath, and sound to release pain and suffering and connect to love. He is certified in Hatha Yoga, Vinyasa Flow, Kundalini Yoga, Laughter Yoga, Restorative Yoga, and Let Your Yoga Dance. He also has taught movement at the Stella Adler Academy in Hollywood. To Learn More Visit: www.griefyoga.com