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EDITOR IN CHIEF Joan Herrmann —
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Lindsay Pearson —
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Matt Herrmann —
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Chris Giordano Andrea Valentie Oliver Pane —
CONTRIBUTORS Guy Finley Lorie Gardner, RN, NBC-HWC Gayle Gruenberg, CPO-CD, CVPO Rick Hanson, PhD Mark Hyman, MD Joan Herrmann Linda Mitchell, CPC
FROM THE EDITOR — February is all about hearts - but not just the candy kind. It’s also American Heart Month, a time to turn our thoughts to keeping families and communities free from heart disease. Heart disease kills more women than cancer, diabetes, and stroke. It will claim the lives of one in three, killing more than 400,000 each year. The good news is that a majority of these cases may be prevented through education and lifestyle changes. Although heart disease is sometimes thought of as a “man’s disease,” fewer women than men survive their first heart attack. According to Dr. Mark Menolascino, author of the book, Heart Solution for Women: A Proven Program to Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease, women present differently and their heart disease signs may be subtle – anxiety, heartburn, nausea, digestive issues - so it’s important to seek medical care at the first sign of a problem. He advises: If you think it’s your heart, get checked out because if you
don’t, you may be dead wrong. We often don’t get a second chance. Studies show that 90 percent of women have one or more risk factors for developing heart disease or stroke. Dr. Menolascino notes that with less exercise, higher stress, less nutritious food, and more toxins in our environment, there is so much stacked up against us that it makes it difficult for us to stay healthy. A few of the risk factors and behaviors that put us at risk for heart disease include: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, smoking, obesity, diabetes, physical inactivity, and unhealthy eating habits While we face many challenges that make us feel helpless, we actually have tremendous control over our heart health. Altering our lifestyle puts us in the driver’s seat to preventing and/or reversing the conditions that may lead to heart disease. Listen to my conversation with Dr. Menolascino: https://bit.ly/3sNT7of
— Joan Herrmann
MARK MENOLASCINO, MD
ISSUE NO.124
INSIDE THIS
ISSUE THE FIRST STEP TO YOUR BEST HEALTH: A KITCHEN MAKEOVER BY MARK HYMAN, MD
PAGE 12
SPEND VALENTINE’S DAY WITH THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE
ON THIS MONTH’S
C OV E R HEART DISEASE KILLS MORE WOMEN THAN CANCER, DIABETES, AND STROKE. IT WILL CLAIM THE LIVES OF ONE IN THREE WOMEN, KILLING MORE THAN 400,000 EACH YEAR. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT A MAJORITY OF THESE CASES MAY BE PREVENTED THROUGH EDUCATION AND LIFESTYLE CHANGES. DR. MARK MENOLASCINO TALKS ABOUT THE FEMALE HEART AND HOW WE CAN CHANGE OUR GENETIC POTENTIAL FOR THE BETTER. DR. MENOLASCINO IS AUTHOR OF THE BOOK, HEART SOLUTION FOR WOMEN: A PROVEN PROGRAM TO PREVENT AND REVERSE HEART DISEASE.
BY JOAN HERRMANN
PAGE 20
LISTEN TO DR. MENOLASCINO ON CYACYL: https://bit.ly/3sNT7of
FOUR STEPS TO MAKING A FRESH START IN LIFE BY GUY FINLEY
PAGE 24
TAKE HEART BY RICK HANSON, PHD
PAGE 28
ORGANIZING OUTSIDE THE BOX BY GAYLE GRUENBERG
PAGE 32
STEPPING INTO YOUR PERSONAL POWER BY LINDA MITCHELL
PAGE 36
LONELINESS ISN’T JUST ABOUT BEING ALONE! BY LORIE GARDNER
PAGE 40
FEBRUARY 2021
24 SEVEN MAGAZINE
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ISSUE N O. 1 2 4
F E B R UA RY 2021
THE FIRST STEP TO YO U R B E S T H E A LT H : A KITCHEN MAKEOVER Dr. Hyman, over and over I find myself making unhealthy choices,” a reader writes. “Even while I am at home, I reach for something that I know is going to make me feel like crap. When dinner time comes around, I get so overwhelmed and end up making pasta or pizza. Please help me make better decisions about what I put into my body.”
Written by Mark Hyman, MD
T
This is a challenge that so many of us deal with on a day to day basis, and the only way around it is to do a kitchen makeover. Bringing fresh energy and fresh food into the kitchen and purging it of all of the foods and items that make us sick and unhealthy is an important step to making better choices and overcoming food cravings and addictions. The cure for what ails us — both in our bodies and in our nation — can be found in the kitchen. It is a place to rebuild community and connection, strengthen bonds with family and friends, teach life-giving skills to our children, and enrich and nourish our bodies and souls. We need to break the addiction cycle and halt your cravings – likely the same cravings that have sabotaged your weight loss efforts in the past. Why not stack the odds in your favor by removing the items that have kept you trapped, sick and miserable? Or, to put that a better way: Why not set yourself up for optimal success by making your kitchen a happy, hopeful place filled only with vibrant, real, whole foods that will nourish your body and genuinely feed your soul? If you make your kitchen a safe zone, with only foods that nourish rather than harm, then you will automatically make the right choices. If you fill it with crap, you will eat crap, no matter how much willpower you have. How to Purge Your Kitchen Here are my four easy-to-follow steps to start your purge: Step 1: Reclaim your kitchen by replacing anything that is questionable with real, fresh, whole foods without labels. A fresh avocado or a kiwi doesn’t come with a nutrition facts label or a bar code or an ingredient list. The questionable items are those that come in boxes, jars, cans and other packaging. In other words, most convenience foods.
It’s important to first shift your focus away from the often misleading nutrition “facts” list (which is mostly designed and developed under huge food industry lobby efforts to confuse and confound your efforts to eat healthy) and instead rely on the ingredients list. When reading through the ingredients, look for items that you don’t recognize, can’t pronounce, are listed in Latin or aren’t items you would normally have in your cupboard. Beware of foods with health claims on the labels. These claims usually signal a marketing ploy to make you think they’re good for you when they’re really just healthy pretenders. Things like sports beverages, energy bars and even multigrain breads (which often contain high fructose corn syrup) fall into this category. Step 2: Now, you’ll want to remove ALL of the junk. This includes any food which contains added sugar, refined and processed flours and all processed foods. Even seemingly safe foods like spices and seasonings can contain maltodextrin, autolyzed yeast extract and even high fructose corn syrup that have no place in a healthy kitchen. Scrutinize everything! Step 3: Remove all bad fats. The wrong fats can wreak serious metabolic havoc. Toss out any highly refined cooking oils such as corn and soy, fried foods you may have stored in your freezer and margarine or shortening. These products have dangerous trans fats that create inflammation and cause heart disease. Scour labels for the words “hydrogenated fat” (another phrase for trans fat), which has finally been declared not safe for consumption by the FDA. Step 4: Throw out food with artificial sweeteners of all kinds (aspartame, NutraSweet, Splenda, sucralose, and sugar alcohols — any word that ends with “ol,” like xylitol or sorbitol). Stevia may be better than aspartame but only whole plant extract, not Pure Via and Truvia brands, which are made by Pepsi and Coke and are chemical extracts of stevia. And when using whole plant extract stevia, use it sparingly. A new non-caloric sweetener that comes from monk fruit that is rich in antioxidants can also be used in small amounts. But remember, any sweetener can cause you to be hungry, lower your metabolism, create gas and store belly fat. Don’t just tuck all of these toxic foods away – toss them into the garbage! We’re going to quickly and easily replace them with delicious, healthy alternatives that will leave you more than satisfied. Stock Up On the Right Foods Next, you’ll want to fill your fridge with plenty of beautiful vegetables, fruits, healthy proteins and fats.
You’ll also want to keep plenty of healthy snacks around in case you ever run into a food emergency. Instead of reaching for sugary, processed snacks, you can reach for nourishing ones like nuts and seeds, dips and veggies, fresh fruit and more. Focus on non-starchy veggies. These are things like broccoli, kale, tomatoes, bok choy, peppers, asparagus, cauliflower and so much more! Eat as many as you like! Limit fruits because they increase your insulin levels. Berries are your best bet. When possible, choose organic, seasonal and local produce. Stock up on dry foods. These staples usually have a longer shelf life and include raw or lightly roasted nuts and seeds, legumes, quinoa, and gluten-free grains. Include herbs, spices and seasonings. You’ll want to have a range of pantry ingredients, including seasonings and spices, on hand. Buy organic when you can. Because you only use a little of some of these, they tend to last a long time so you get a lot of value from them. Among my favorites include extra-virgin olive oil, extra-virgin coconut butter, sea salt, black peppercorns, and seasonings and spices like oregano, cayenne pepper, garlic and more. Just read all of the labels to ensure the products don’t contain hidden sugar, gluten or other problematic additives. Keep your fridge and freezer stocked with protein. Check out the Environmental Working Group’s, Meat
Eater’s Guide, to choose meat that’s good for you and good for the planet. Optimal protein choices include: boneless, skinless chicken and turkey breasts; ground chicken and turkey; grass-fed beef, lamb and bison; pastured omega-3 eggs; whole forms of non-GMO soy food like tofu, tempeh and gluten-free miso; and wild seafood like sardines, salmon, herring, flounder, clams and more. Avoid those fish that are high in mercury such as tuna, swordfish and Chilean sea bass. Get Inspired. Eating food that is good for you is not about feeling deprived. If you choose the right foods and the right recipes, you can reap the benefits of a healthy lifestyle without feeling denied.
About The Author
MARK HYMAN Mark Hyman MD is the Director of Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Functional Medicine, the Founder of The UltraWellness Center, and a ten-time #1 New York Times Bestselling author. To Learn More Visit: www.drhyman.com
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February 2021 Issue
Spend Valentine’s Day with the Love of Your Life Written by Joan Herrmann
I
I was watching television recently when it happened … I saw the first commercial for the Valentine’s Day diamond collection – you know, the gift that every woman will treasure. As I listened to the music and watched as the camera panned the romantic setting, waves of emotion overcame me like a tsunami. At that moment, in my mind, everyone in the world was in a loving, committed relationship and I was going to be the only person alone on February 14 (most likely eating ice cream). Realistic assumption? Of course not. But for a few minutes the drama queen in me took over and my emotions ran wild. Fortunately, I was able to reign them in, but the feelings I experienced are very common. The truth of the matter is that while there are many people in wonderful relationships, there are more people today living life as singles than ever before. So, there are more people sitting home believing that they are less of a person because they are one and not a part of two. Society perpetuates this belief. When we are little, we are taught that we need someone to complete us. The princess is always in search of her prince. We search high and low for him, trying on every glass slipper looking for the perfect fit. Sometimes we find the right shoe, other times we squeeze a size nine into a seven. Going barefoot is never an option. We are given the misguided notion that life is a Hallmark commercial. But… guess what? The fairytale doesn’t exist; at least not in the way it’s portrayed. There is no prince or princess that
will make any of us live happily ever after – no outside person can do that; it’s an inside job. Until we rekindle the flame of self-love, there will be failed or unfulfilled relationships and tears at the thought of being alone. The self-love I refer to has nothing to do with being selfish, it’s actually being selfless. It’s putting the time and energy into understanding who we are and what we want. It’s about finding our path and fulfilling our dreams. It’s making ourselves whole so we can be in a relationship with another (or not) in a healthy way. When we’re whole, there is no jealousy, resentment or neediness. It enables us to find (or stay with) someone who complements us – not completes us. What better time than Valentine’s Day to reestablish a relationship with yourself ? Let it take root and then share it with your soul mate or your sole mate!
About The Author
JOAN HERRMANN Joan Herrmann is the creator of the Change Your Attitude… Change Your life brand and host of the radio show and podcast, Conversations with Joan. She is a motivational speaker and the publisher of 24 Seven magazine. To Learn More Visit: www.JoanHerrmann.com
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Four Steps To Making A Fresh Start in Life Written by Guy Finley
M Many of us have done drastic things trying to make a fresh start in life. But no matter what we do, nothing seems to change. Outer conditions may be different, but inside we’re still the same. If changing things outside doesn’t make a difference, where does a genuine fresh start begin? The answer lies in four connected steps: Step One: Learn What Prevents Us From Making a Fresh Start Our plans to make a fresh start have not delivered the new life we’d envisioned. So the first fact we need to understand – that runs completely contrary to our usual ideas of starting over – is that we can’t plan to do it.
If I plan a new start, that means I’ve envisioned a new position, power, or possession by which I will enjoy a sense of newness. The problem is, everything I imagine doing or becoming is a variation of past experiences and dreams. And clearly, nothing I pull from my past can bring a fresh start. It’s just a reconfiguration of an old idea that didn’t work the first time around. Our image of what it means to be a new human being is a product of our past, and it is what keeps us from making a real fresh start. To be new we need a different relationship with life itself – a relationship where we stop planning life, and become a participant in it. It begins with putting ourselves where fresh starts actually take place – not in our minds, but in awareness of the ever-changing present moment. Step Two: Have a Real Wish Before I can have that relationship with the present moment, I need to understand that unattended, my mind gives itself to every vagrant image that promises a fresh start. It isn’t the object – the new job, the new relationship, the new person – that is the illusion, because these things can be obtained. The illusion is believing they will bring newness. What we need is a new wish – a real wish – to stay conscious in the present moment, so we’re no longer drawn off into useless thought. That wish will grow when we see the necessity of staying present to ourselves because we understand it’s not enough to want a new start. Instead we must need to be a new person. Step Three: Be Willing to Take a Risk Which brings us to the next step in truly starting fresh – the willingness to risk. Risk what? When I feel bogged down, my mind immediately jumps in with its same old solutions. They feel comfortable. And they are all I’ve ever known to do. I worry my life will come to a dead end if I don’t follow the old path. But now it’s evident that those old solutions go nowhere; and the fresh start I long
From The Story
“Our image of what it means to be a new human being is a product of our past, and it is what keeps us from making a real fresh start.”
for can’t be produced by obeying the pain that produces the longing. So I’m not going to do anything in this moment other than consciously participate in it by watching it. I must be willing to risk not doing what my old thoughts and feelings are telling me, knowing they will just bring further suffering and repetition. Newness only comes by leaving the old behind. Step Four: Resolve to Persist When we see these facts for ourselves, we’re willing to take this risk to see what happens. Then comes the last of these steps, which is the interior resolve to persist. It’s easy to give in to our old dreams. And it’s hard to go against those inner voices that are so sure of what we need. We must resolve to persist in just staying watchful, instead of taking the first solution offered by our mind. It takes time before we can hear the new voice, but our patience is rewarded with new guidance. Our work is to make a shift in our attention. To what do I give myself all day? Do I give it to my repetitive thoughts, or do I keep it firmly in the present moment and what it offers? As we give ourselves more and more fully to life as it unfolds, and are willing to give up our old selves, something is born in us that’s better than a fresh start in life. We become part of a life that is always fresh. The opportunity is always here. We’re living in it. Understanding this leads to a fearless life, because if I no longer have to protect a plan I’ve made, I have nothing to be afraid of relative to its achievement or its failure. Then I’m free. I can just drop whatever the past moment has been, and start over… and over again.
About The Author
GUY FINLEY Guy Finley is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and bestselling self-help author. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for transcendent self-study located in Merlin, Oregon. He also hosts the Foundation’s Wisdom School — an online self-discovery program for seekers of higher self-knowledge.. To Learn More Visit: www.GuyFinley.org
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F E B R UA RY 2 0 2 1
ISSUE NO.124
Written by Rick Hanson, PhD
Take Heart
What do you do when the bottom falls out? Take heart. It takes heart to live in even ordinary times. By taking heart, I mean: • Sensing your heart and chest • Finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you • Resting in your own warmth, compassion, and kindness; resting in the caring for you from others; love flowing in and love flowing out • Being courageous, whole-hearted and stronghearted – going forward wisely, even when anxious, knowing your own truth and, as you can, speaking it. When you take heart, you’re more able to deal with challenges like aging, illness, trauma, or conflicts with others. You’re also more able to take advantage of opportunities with confidence and grit. Additionally, it takes heart to live in, live with, and live beyond times that are really hard. Your personal hard time might be bad news about your health, the death of a parent, or betrayal by others. Or it could be related to changes in your country and world, and your concerns about their effects on others and yourself. There are so many examples of honorable people facing great difficulty with dignity, principle, and courage. They did it. We can, too. How? Start by riding out the storm. When big things happen at any scale – in your child’s schoolyard or in a refugee camp on the other side of the world – it is completely natural and normal to be shocked and disturbed by them. As best you can, stay with the raw experience, the body sensations, the deep feelings, the stirred up fears and anger and perhaps paralysis. Whatever it is, it is your experience; some may be upset about a big event while others may be glad about it; I am definitely not trying to talk you out of your experience. Be mindful of whatever is passing through the big open space of awareness, observing it without being flooded by it. Painful and counterintuitive as it may be, this is the foundation of releasing really hard experiences and replacing them gradually and authentically with thoughts and feelings that are helpful, wholesome, wise, and even happy. Do things that help you come back to center and find your footing. Personally, I prioritize exercise, sleep, and meditation; I try to feel the truth of being basically alright right now, in this moment, moment after moment (alongside and deeper than pain or sorrow); I do the dishes and make the bed. Walk the dog, call a
“It takes heart to live in, live with, and live beyond times that are really hard.”
friend, eat something, look at trees and sky, get a cup of tea and stare into space. Take good care of your body. Guard and guide your attention. It’s one thing to find facts and form the best plans you can. It’s another thing to get distracted or upset by news or other people that do not add any useful value. Take heart in the good that is real. Outside you, there is the kindness in others, the beauty of a single leaf, the stars that still shine no matter what hides them. Right now as you read, all over the world children are laughing in delight, families are sitting down to a meal, babies are being born, and loving arms are holding people who are dying. Inside you, there is your compassion, sincere efforts, sweet memories, capabilities – and much more. Take heart with others, sharing worries, support, and friendship. Do the things you can. The more that events are turbulent, alarming, and beyond your influence, the more important it is to grow stability, safety, and agency inside you and around you. Have courage. At all human scales, strong forces have always tried to confuse and frighten others. Whatever outward action is necessary, you can preserve an inner freedom, never cowed or bowed in your core. Last, I’ve found it really helps to have perspective. Without minimizing one bit of whatever is awful, it is also true that humans like you and I have been walking this earth for nearly 200,000 years. I see the trees, the land, the ocean – all of it here before me and lasting long after me. Empires rise and fall. Sometimes the center does not hold – in a body, marriage, or nation – and still. And still people love each other, go out of their way for a stranger, and marvel at a rainbow. Nothing, nothing at all can change this. We keep putting one foot in front of the other one, lifting each other up along the way.
About The Author
RICK HANSON, PHD Rick Hanson, PhD, is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UYC Berkeley, and a New York Times best-selling author. His books have been published in 29 languages and include Neurodharma, Resilient, and Hardwiring Happiness. To Learn More Visit: www.RickHanson.net
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February 2021 Issue
Organizing Outside the Box Written by Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®, CVPO
P
Professional organizers love to put things into containers. We delight in taking a pile of “stuff,” sorting it into categories, and finding a suitable way to contain each category. We derive great satisfaction from seeing things sitting neatly in cubbies, cubes, and caddies. We rejoice in lists and labels, files and folders, baskets and bins. We think inside the box. However, our clients think differently. There is no onesize-fits-all organizing technique, containers don’t solve every organizing challenge, and as specialists in chronic disorganization, our clients tend to be non-neurotypical. We often need to think very far outside the box and be creative in the solutions we offer. This can be a very rewarding and enriching exercise for both the organizer and the client. It’s also great fun. Organizers tend to be linear, logical, and left-brain dominant. Clients often think in serpentine paths and spirals; they are frequently right-brain dominant. Working with such clients is like going on an adventure to a colorful, exciting, constantly changing playground. The organizer gets to draw on all of her training, experience, and research to stretch her imagination and dream up customized solutions for clients whose brainbased conditions present significant challenges to being able to organize. We need to tap deeply into the processing styles, sensory preferences, lifestyles, professions, and interests of our clients to create organizing systems that make sense to them. For a client who is a doctor, a system that organizes an office as if it were a human body may resonate. Her bookshelves and file drawers may function as the brain, where she acquires and stores information. Her desk is the
stomach, where she digests her patients’ conditions and integrates their diagnoses into effective treatment plans. Clients with a shopping compulsion acquire for a variety of reasons, one of which is because they may not know what they already have. Organizing a home like a department store may be helpful. It is easier to see everything of a certain type, the quantity, size, style, and shape of each, and encourage the client to “shop” at home first, before purchasing something substantially similar to what is on hand. One of my clients is a man on the autism spectrum. He loves theater and needed a system for doing laundry. I created a mock Playbill for him, with pictures, outlining the flow of doing laundry into acts and scenes. It helped him relate to the task, explained the steps using both verbal and visual cues, and made something tedious a bit more fun.
About The Author
GAYLE GRUENBERG Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®, CVPO is the chief executive organizer of Let’s Get Organized, LLC, an organizer coach, and the creator of the Make Space for Blessings system. To Learn More Visit: wwww.LGOrganized.com
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Stepping Into Your Personal Power Written by Linda Mitchell
Current day circumstances can make us feel powerless amid all the chaos around us, our relationships and our careers. When we feel powerless, we feel out of control and sometimes fear overshadows hope. Imagine the simple act of lighting a match in a dark room. We see more, become calmer and we create an opening to possibility. You’re no longer giving your power to the unknown. Think of lighting that match as finding a foothold when navigating a steep hill. Certainly, we are here as a result of choices made, but that is not the only truth. There’s also the truth that our attitude, expectations for the future and what we can imagine for ourselves, very much creates new possibilities too! How do we reclaim our personal power, create and step into the future we want and live more fully alive and fulfilled in any circumstance? It’s important to remember that everything we want is on the other side of fear. When we let fear paralyze us, we stay stuck. It’s not to say we shouldn’t heed serious warning signs or ignore the obvious; certainly, take those into account when creating your new pathways and solutions. We need creative thinking and inspired problem solving to proceed. There’s an underlying discomfort some feel toward the word power. Some believe that power, even personal power, is bad or akin to forcing
one’s will upon others. Let’s put to rest the old paradigm around power which equated it to being forceful or controlling. Granted, a child or an emotionally immature individual might use their personal power to bully, coerce or force another to do things that are meanspirited, ill-advised, divisive or injurious to others. Most healthy and intellectually mature people use their personal power for the betterment of humanity without causing conflict or hurt feelings. In fact, when our personal power is tapped, we’re neither overbearing nor submissive. The new paradigm around power means stepping into our truth, our worth and our highest potential. This creates joy that spills over into everyone with whom we interact. Claiming our power actually creates quite the opposite experience from being forceful, controlling or domineering. Recognizing how our personal power positively impacts our own world as well those around us, we become more sensitive and respectful. How can this be wrong? Boldly claiming our power also involves harnessing our powerful subconscious brain to create better circumstances for ourselves. It’s the catalyst to finding our next meaningful step on our path, regardless how rocky the present circumstance may be. We get clear on our individual gifts and strengths and we realize we have the ability to author our own life, even in challenging times. When we take responsibility for our lives, our thoughts, decisions and actions, we are in our personal power. We get there by refusing to stay stuck in old stories and patterns and begin to use the limitless power of our subconscious brain. We create first in our minds what we want to experience in our physical lives. Focus on the why and the what and leave the how to unfold naturally. If we recognize parts of our lives are less than ideal, we must use the infinite power of the imagination to create solutions and inspired action steps, which bring us closer to what we truly want.
From The Story
“Most healthy and intellectually mature people use their personal power for the betterment of humanity without causing conflict or hurt feelings.”
Stepping into our power happens when we recognize what we are especially good at and make use of those talents. We communicate from a place of authenticity and with a desire to share our strengths, gifts, joy and passions. Most importantly, claiming our personal power means we’ve recognized that we’re in control of our thoughts and actions despite external forces. We’ve figured out what subconscious beliefs limit us and we’ve decided not to be ruled by them. Instead we create and live by new empowering thoughts that support the life we truly want to live. We needn’t be an extrovert or a leader to step in to our power. Start by listing the things that you love. What would you do with four hours of free time? What topics can you discuss for hours without ever getting bored? What things did you enjoy as an adolescent? What subjects or topics touch your heart, stir your emotions or ignite your passion? What comes easily to you? These are all tips that will highlight special gifts, talents and strengths, which help to step into personal power. Note natural gifts; list topics for which people come to you for help. Think about the major challenges you’ve overcome and the skills you used to conquer those hurdles. By reviewing this list you’ll not only feel empowered, you’ll likely have some big insights too. Many seek coaches to help, but this part can be done on your own. Once you realize what excites you, create goals to bring more of that into daily life. If you get stuck, figure out which thoughts and beliefs keep you from taking action. Take some time to get still, meditate, pray or do whatever feels right to help you tune into your inner wisdom. It will serve you well to discern your unique gifts and share them with others. When you do, you’re claiming your personal power and creating a fulfilling life!
About The Author
LINDA MITCHELL Linda Mitchell is a board-certified transition coach, speaker, reinvention expert, and LMT. She empowers people who are stuck, overwhelmed or ready for change to release the struggle, gain clarity, balance and radiant health as they move through life’s challenges and transitions and step into their highest purpose. To Learn More Visit: www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com
February 2021 Issue
Loneliness Isn’t Just About Being Alone! Written by Lorie Gardner, RN, BSN, NBC-HWC
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Whether we are amid a pandemic or not, loneliness and social isolation are a big issue in this country. It has been exasperated during the challenges of the pandemic. Even before the pandemic, loneliness has been referred to as a massive and deadly epidemic. Is just being alone the cause of loneliness? Can finding personal fulfillment be a factor in combatting loneliness? The winter months in the colder climates can increase the isolation and loneliness due to the weather and people staying indoors more. It is quite amazing all of the things we took for granted about our social connections that have been restricted as a result of the pandemic. Think about the chance encounter you had in the grocery store when you met someone you hadn’t seen in a while and had an opportunity to catch up. That connection feeds us! And what about the after-church uplifting conversations or the new exercise buddy you connected with at the gym. How about the connections you had at work? These connections were all taken away or at least minimized during the pandemic with crushing effects on our mental health. Better Together – Healing Power Our former surgeon general, Vivek Murthy, MD, wrote a wonderful book, Together- The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World. He notes that humans are wired for social connection and we are better together. Some things hold us back from these connections beyond what has been written about such as living far away from family, technology, and our drive to prioritize financial and material success over personal satisfaction and relationships. There is also clear evidence and
research that loneliness can increase health issues. It is believed that loneliness is as harmful as smoking. Dr. Murthy notes that loneliness is not just being alone, it’s the sense that you are lacking the connections you need. A Brigham Young University psychologist, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, has been reviewing the positive effects of relationships and found that people with strong relationships are not just less likely to die earlier than those with weak relationships but there are 50 percent less likely to die early. What are the factors that contribute to loneliness and social isolation? It could be not having the right mix of relationships or an intimate connection with just one or two people who support you. We need a variety of types of connections and not just family. Our modern technology keeps us online versus in personal connection with others many times and can create that “fear of missing out” and “compare and despair” syndrome. These online connections are not always supportive or authentic. Fulfillment: Is It A Remedy for Loneliness? Have you considered how achieving personal fulfillment is related to loneliness? Our culture has taught us that fulfillment and happiness come from having wealth, status, many friends, possessions, etc. We all know people that have these wonderful gifts but are not happy, connected, or fulfilled. Although social connections with others are vital, the first step we can all take during these isolating times is to do some deeper work on how to be fulfilled from within. More fulfillment may just mean less loneliness because you have “filled yourself up”. There is nothing more important than you! There are some steps you can take to try and combat loneliness and social isolation (some may or may not be possible with the pandemic). • Assess if your feelings are temporary or long-standing and if professional help could be of benefit • Evaluate your personal and family relationships and if there are any conversations or suggestions you could make to connect regularly with one or two close connections. • Help and accept help, if needed • Embrace solitude as an opportunity to connect with yourself to your wonderful inner self • Listen carefully to each other • Try a new health habit that may connect you
From The Story
“Humans are wired for social connection and we are better together.”
to others such as a walking group, breakfast club, knitting group, etc. • Balance your “screen time” with your “connections” time • Consider joining a new group or learning a new skill such as a language or painting • Ignite old friendships • Practice meditation/mindfulness to start to discover what fulfills you from the inside out. Dr. Murthy delivered a powerful message in his book about it being possible to build a free society that is rooted in connection if we focus on the right values like kindness. After all we have gone through last year, I hope this is a message we can take with us during and after this pandemic into 2021. Think about all of the kindness shown by all the essential workers during this pandemic. We all could consider the following in a pandemic safe way to share kindness and increase our social connections, decrease loneliness, and improve our health: • Connect with neighbors to see if they need anything • Volunteer for an organization • Give yourself the gift of making a list of your positive qualities and those in your life and embrace solitude • Reach and help someone in need • Smile at a stranger and show kindness to those that provide you a service • Spend less time on electronics and more time “connecting” We can be better together if we let go of the differences among us and focus on the fact that we are wired for connection to stay healthy and well. We can use our courage and strengths as a human race and unite to act in a positive way to help the poor, widowed, the suffering, and marginalized. We are better together and one small act of kindness for yourself or others can have a major impact!
About The Author
LORIE GARDNER Lorie Gardner, RN, BSN, NBC-HWC, founded Healthlink Advocates, Inc., to assist people with all aspects of their healthcare. As private nurse patient advocates and board certified health and wellness coaches, they partner with clients seeking assistance navigating the complex healthcare system and those seeking self-directed, lasting health improvements aligned with their values. To Learn More Visit: www.healthlinkadvocates.com
