P ersonalized A ctions T owards Health www.prospectfitness.com/path
1004 Beverley Road Brooklyn, NY 11218 347-413-6390 info@prospectfitness.com www.prospectfitness.com
Allison Carmen
MAYBE I can help you? I am an Author, Business Consultant, Business/Life Coach and podcaster ready to provide you with the tools to grow or start your business, find a new career, let go of your stress and worry, manage life changes or find more fulfillment.
The Best Gift Of Maybe
Event Speaker
Published by Penguin Random House.
Self-help and inspirational speaker available for conferences, workshops and corporate events.
Many things are beyond our control, but the mindset of Maybe presents a simple, powerful way to stay connected to what’s possible, and work to make it happen.
Life/Business Coaching
10 Minutes To Less Suuering Allison Carmen, Self-help author and Life Coach, presents different techniques to reduce your stress and worry in less than 10 minutes!
I have a background in accounting, and I am a licensed attorney with LLM in taxation. You can find me blogging for Psychology Today, Huffington Post, Thrive Global and Mind Body Green.
CHECK OUT WWW.ALLISONCARMEN.COM TODAY! Contact: ALLISONNALLISONCARMEN.COM Rates and References upon request
Career changes, Reduction of daily stress and worry, Goal Setting/Implementation, Increased fulfillment in daily business/personal life.
Business Consulting Business and financial advice including financial analysis and marketing for increased profit and expansion.
EDITOR IN CHIEF Joan Herrmann —
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Lindsay Pearson —
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Matt Herrmann —
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Chris Giordano Andrea Valentie Oliver Pane —
CONTRIBUTORS Guy Finley Lorie Gardner, RN, NBC-HWC Gayle Gruenberg, CPO-CD, CVPO Rick Hanson, PhD Mark Hyman, MD Joan Herrmann Linda Mitchell, CPC
FROM THE EDITOR — In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus Happy New Year! As another new year begins, I reflected on 2020, and all the changes we have had to endure. It was a time that will remain with most of us for the rest of our lives. Thinking about the challenges, I realized that the message for 2021 is simple: Even in the darkest moments of your life, there is strength within you (that you don’t even know exists) and, if you don’t give up and succumb to the negative feelings, you will realize that there is hope and that better times lie ahead. For someone who is going through an extremely traumatic period in life, you may not believe what I am preaching because you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel or because you believe that your life is over. While the life that you knew may be over, or to be more correct, altered, there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me … I know. Up until a few years ago, I lived a pretty charmed life. I had wonderful parents and a loving family. I got married immediately after graduating from college. We bought a home, had two kids and great friends; I was living the dream. Then, within a few months, my life crumbled. My 23-year marriage ended, my mother and sister (my last remaining original family members) died, and my oldest child left for college. In that brief period, I lost: my identity – I was no longer a wife, daughter, sister or mother (as I had known it); my security – I was a single woman responsible for supporting myself and kids while maintaining a home;
and the future I had planned – there would be no happily ever after. I felt alone, vulnerable, and scared. I was knocked down, exhausted, and didn’t see any place to turn. I questioned whether I wanted to keep going. But, in was in that darkness that I chose to not only survive, but to thrive. That was the hardest decision of my life. I didn’t know where to turn or what my first steps would be. All I knew was that I didn’t want to feel that way any longer! If I was going to make any progress, I recognized that I had to change my thinking and beliefs, mostly about myself. Little by little, with each baby step, I moved forward. I spent much time thinking, writing, reflecting, and getting in touch with myself. Being an active participant in the process of healing saved my life. I learned the importance of a positive attitude and CHOSE to see the gifts and lessons being offered to me. Now, when I look back over the past few years of my life, while there may be a twinge of sadness, the pain does not engulf me and I am able to say that many wonderful things have happened to me and for me. I am a person I never would have become without those experiences. So, as the new year begins, no matter what you are going through, always remember that change, resulting in pain and sadness, is inevitable. It’s not a matter of “if” something will happen, but “when” it will occur. But, if you embrace it, learn from it, and grow with it, you will realize that you are strong and that there will always be an invincible summer within. Sometimes it’s just a bit more challenging to find … but it’s always there.
— Joan Herrmann
P H OTO C R E D I T: VA N E S S A TO D D
RACHEL HOLLIS
ISSUE NO.123
INSIDE THIS
ISSUE 8 STEPS TO STOP YOUR EVENING BINGES BY MARK HYMAN, MD
PAGE 14
FEELING A LITTLE SOUR? DROP TART TONE BY RICK HANSON, PHD
PAGE 20
COMBAT PROCRASTINATION: 4 TIPS TO HELP YOU GET THE JOB DONE
ON THIS MONTH’S
C OV E R NO ONE WANTS TO EXPERIENCE THE DOWN SIDE OF LIFE, BUT AS SURE AS THE SUN RISES EACH DAY, WE WILL. WE WILL LOSE A LOVED ONE, A CHILD WILL MOVE OUT, A JOB MAY BE LOST, AND A BREAKUP MAY OCCUR. AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, WE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO EITHER LET IT DEFEAT AND DEFINE US, OR TRANSFORM AND LIFT US. RACHEL HOLLIS HAS EXPERIENCED FEAR, GRIEF, LOSS AND BETRAYAL, AND SHE HAS HAD TO EMBRACE THE DIFFICULT MOMENTS OF LIFE. SHE TEACHES HOW TAKE ON INSECURITIES AND TURN THEM INTO EMPOWERING FORCES. SHE IS THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK, DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING. LISTEN TO RACHEL ON CYACYL: https://spoti.fi/2LfCUr0
BY JOAN HERRMANN
PAGE 24
LET GO OF THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE BY GUY FINLEY
PAGE 26
READY FOR CHANGE? BY GAYLE GRUENBERG
PAGE 28
CURBING YOUR MOST NEGATIVE THOUGHT BY LINDA MITCHELL
PAGE 32
ADJUST AND REINVENT IN 2021 BY LORIE GARDNER
PAGE 36
JANUARY 2021
24 SEVEN MAGAZINE
DISCOVER YOUR INNATE WISDOM AND CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BODY IT'S YOUR BIRTHRIGHT TO LOVE THE BODY YOU'RE IN. CHANGING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BODY STARTS WITH SELF-LOVE. AND THAT - CHANGES YOUR LIFE! CONTACT US TODAY TO RESERVE YOUR SEAT FOR GROUP OR INDIVIDUAL SESSIONS ON YOUR SCHEDULE. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
Follow Us On Social Media
@FindBodyFreedom ILENE LESHINSKY FOUNDER ILENELESHINSKY@GMAIL.COM
Join the Movement Today! WWW.FINDBODYFREEDOM.COM
ISSUE N O. 1 2 3
J A N UA RY 2021
8 STEPS TO STOP YO U R EVENING BINGES
Are you hungry after a big meal? Do you continue eating late into the night? Millions suffer from this devastating problem that leads to obesity, diabetes, and depression.
Written by Mark Hyman, MD
I
I call this the sumo wrestler diet. Have you ever wondered how some of these men get so huge? They have a giant meal and then go right to sleep — guaranteed to pack on the pounds! So, if you eat late at night just before bed, you’re on the sumo wrestler diet, and you will gain weight and get pre-diabetes. Your body will store the extra calories as fat instead of processing and burning them. So, how does this happen? Have you ever thought about why, even after a big meal, you crave more food, more sugar, and more junk, and you want to have chips or sweets or other unhealthy foods? What is the root cause of this, and how do we deal with it? Balance Your Hormones It’s not a character flaw or an emotional issue that you have to fix. It’s not some psychological trauma that you have to get over (although for some, night eating is triggered by stress). It’s simple biology. All you have to do is understand why these changes happen in your body to make you crave food late at night, and then, you can overcome them. The underlying cause is an imbalance of the hormones that regulate your appetite. These are what I call the four hormones of the apocalypse. There are specific things that trigger each of them, and if you understand how to balance them, you won’t have cravings for sweets and other foods … and you won’t be eating late at night. These four hormones are the following: • Insulin – A very important hormone that your body produces to process the sugar in your diet. When your insulin spikes then crashes after eating sugar and flour or junk, it makes you hungry. This can even happen after a large meal of ‘good food’. • Leptin – This is the brake on your appetite. Leptin says to your brain, “Oh, I’m full. I don’t need any more food.”
When you eat a lot of sugar, processed foods, and flour, the leptin doesn’t work anymore. Your brain actually becomes leptin resistant. • Ghrelin – A ‘hunger hormone’ produced in your stomach that helps regulate your appetite. Leptin sends the message, “You should eat – I’m hungry!” • Peptide YY – A hormone that is produced in your intestines, and it says, “Hey, I’m full! I’ve had enough to eat. I don’t need any more.” There is also one other hormone we need to consider: cortisol, the stress hormone. When you’re stressed, your cortisol level goes up, and when that happens, you get hungrier and your blood sugar and insulin levels rise. This sets the stage for pre-diabetes or insulin resistance, and it’s a vicious cycle. So, all these hormones have to be kept in balance. How do you get them in balance? Here are the eight steps you should take to balance your hormones, stop the cravings, and end the nighttime binges. Eat breakfast. This is the key strategy to stop the nighttime cravings. Of course, if you are binging at night, you probably won’t want to eat breakfast, because when you wake up, you’re still full. So, you have to break that cycle, and you have to start with breakfast: a good, protein breakfast. There are two breakfasts that I love and use all the time. The first is eggs in any form you like: as an omelet, fried, or poached. Eggs are a great source of protein that helps balance your blood sugar. Be sure to eat whole eggs, not egg whites. The second is a whole food protein shake that can be made quite simply. I keep all the ingredients I need in my cupboard, so it’s “goof-proof,’” and I don’t have to think about it. It’s all there. I put in hemp seeds, chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, walnuts, almond butter, coconut butter, frozen cranberries, frozen wild blueberries, and a little unsweetened almond or hemp milk. I put those ingredients in the blender, and it’s fantastic. If you have one of those for breakfast, it’ll keep your blood sugar even all morning and all day. Don’t drink your calories. If you have sugary, liquid calories in the form of sodas, juices, lattes, sports drinks, or iced teas, it will spike your insulin and blood sugar and will cause cravings. Eat regularly. Have breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you want a snack in between, that’s fine, but make sure you eat at regular rhythms and regular times. Your body is a hormonal clock, and you have to eat in rhythm to keep it in balance. Have protein and good-quality fat at every meal: Good fats are nuts and seeds, avocados, coconut, olive oil, or quality protein like chicken, fish, or grass-fed meat. Some
combination of these (plus lots of vegetables) balances your blood sugar. Find your pause button and soothe the stress. Stress makes you fat (and overeat); relaxing makes you thin. Learn to find your pause button and de-stress. Breathing, yoga, and exercise are some of my favorite ways to reduce stress, which helps reset the hormones, balance brain chemistry, and stop the cravings. Prioritize sleep. If you don’t sleep, you will be hungry, especially for carbs and sugar. Why? Because when you deprive yourself of sleep, ghrelin, the hormone that drives hunger goes up and PYY, the hormone that makes you feel full, goes down. So, if you want to lose weight, sleep it off. Find your food sensitivities. People don’t realize this, but you often crave the thing you’re allergic or sensitive to. And gluten and dairy are among the biggest triggers for food sensitivity. Try to get rid of these for a few weeks and see if your cravings stop. Supplement to cut cravings. There are natural molecules that balance your blood sugar and your insulin and help stop the cravings. • Omega-3 fats, especially fish oil - a couple of capsules a day can really help. • Vitamin D also helps regulate hormones and balance insulin. • There is also a super fiber supplement called PGX that’s
very simple to take. It’s made from a Japanese root called glucomannan and seaweed. And it comes in a powder or capsules. Take it 10 to 15 minutes before you eat and after dinner, and it will help cut your cravings. It slows the spiking of insulin and blood sugar, helps make you feel full, increases the PYY, balances out all the hormones, and stops the cravings. I’ve seen people lose up to 40 pounds using this simple high-fiber supplement. • Chromium, lipoic acid,N – Acetyl Cysteine (NAC) can also help cut cravings. • New studies show how branched chain amino acids can also help balance your hormones, stop your cravings and increase muscle mass.
About The Author
MARK HYMAN Mark Hyman MD is the Director of Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Functional Medicine, the Founder of The UltraWellness Center, and a ten-time #1 New York Times Bestselling author. To Learn More Visit: www.drhyman.com
essentially YOURS DID YOU KNOW? 70% of your immune system lives in your gut. Say hello to doTERRA Essential Oils, the most accessible Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade (CPTG) oils on the market. For just pennies a day, revolutionize you and your family’s healthcare in a natural, effective way. doTERRA’s protective blend, On Guard, is an effective alternative to synthetic options for daily immune support.
Jill Merriman, Certified doTERRA Essential Oil Specialist
-Made with five pure oils, known for their protective properties -Supports the body’s natural antioxidant defenses -Supports healthy respiratory function
To take your first step toward a healthier lifestyle, please contact:
Jill Merriman Certified doTERRA Essential Oil Specialist (732) 778-0860 - JillMerriman.com
How to make your 2021 dreams come tr ue. Don’t make New Year’s resolutions—set your intentions instead. You want 2021 to be different. In 2020 you figured out where you want to go, what you value, and that it's time to make a change.
But this is not a time for New Year's resolutions. Resolutions are associated with the negative energies of "sacrifice," "struggle," and a separation from the quantum field of potential and abundance. But the Law of Attraction is always at work, working with your INTENTIONS, and when you internalize that you are receiving everything that is a match with the vibration of your intentions, you will understand that getting in alignment and leveraging this natural law is how you are going to make your dreams come true.
Manifesting the most meaningful of dreams, no matter how “crazy" they seem, is a way of life that EVERYONE can embody. My signature Law of Attraction program proves this week after week.
I get emails from customers every day about how magical their world has become, and I am so passionate about wanting this for you, too, that I have a 30% off code that you can use for my Miracle Maker Immersion course. The Miracle Maker Immersion is my proven simple method for manifesting, and this is your chance to possess the actual secret to the Law of Attraction. It is brief, it is powerful, and it is yours to download and keep forever! So set your intentions for what you want your outcomes to be in 2021 and join me! Use code CYACYL30 for 30% off the most transformational day of your life. Mary Petto, Law of Attraction Author, Teacher, and Creator of the Miracle Maker Immersion
WE MAKE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA SIMPLE
SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING FOR BUSINESS
smcventures.biz 201-365-7946
January 2021 Issue
Feeling a Little Sour? Drop Tart Tone Written by Rick Hanson, PhD
I remember times I felt frazzled or aggravated and then said something with an edge to it that just wasn’t necessary or useful. Sometimes it was the words themselves: such as absolutes like “never” or always,” or over-the-top phrases like “you’re such a flake” or “that was stupid.” More often it was the intonation in my voice, a harsh vibe or look, interrupting, or a certain intensity in my body. However, I did it, the people on the receiving end usually looked like they’d just sucked a lemon. This is what I mean by tart tone. People are more sensitive to tone than to the explicit content of spoken or written language. To paraphrase the poet Maya Angelou, people will forget what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel. And we are particularly reactive to negative tone, due to the negativity bias in the brain. Consequently, tart tone hurts others. This is bad enough, but it also often triggers others to react in ways that harm you and others. On the other hand, paying attention to tone puts you more in touch with yourself, because you have to be aware of what’s building inside, which also promotes mindfulness and builds up its neural substrates. Containing negative tone prompts you to open to and deal with any underlying stress, hurt, anger. It reduces the chance that the other person will avoid dealing with what you say by shifting attention to how you say it. Cleaning up your style of expression puts you in a stronger position to ask people to do the same, or to act better toward you in other ways.As a proverb says, “Getting angry with others is like throwing hot coals with bare hands: both people get burned.” Much the same could be said about throwing tart tone. How? Shifting your tone doesn’t mean becoming sugary, saccharine, or phony. Nor does it mean walking on eggshells, becoming a doormat, or muzzling yourself. Actually, when people shift away from being snippy, curt, snarky, derisive, or contentious, they usually become stronger communicators. They’re now more grounded, more dignified when they bring up something. They haven’t squandered interpersonal capital on the short-term gratifications of harsh tone. Sometimes people are tart with each other in playful ways, and that’s OK. But keep watching to see how it’s landing on the other person.
Be mindful of what’s called “priming”: feeling already mistreated or annoyed irritated – or already in a critical frame of mind. Little things can land on this priming like a match on a pile of firecrackers, setting them off. Maybe simply take a break (e.g., bathroom, meal, shower, run, gardening, TV) to clear away some or all of the priming. And or try to deal with hurt, anger, or stress in a straightforward way (if possible), rather than blowing off steam with your tone. Then, if you do in fact get triggered, notice what comes up to say. If it’s critical, acerbic, cutting, etc., then slow down, say nothing, or say something truly useful. Watch those eye rolls or the sharp sigh that means “Duh-oh, that was kind of dumb” (my wife has called me on both of these). Give a little thought to your choice of words: could there be a way to say what you want to say without pouring gasoline on the fire? Look for words that are accurate, constructive, selfrespecting, and get to the heart of the matter. Be especially careful with an email; once you push the “send” button, there is no getting it back, and the receiver can read your message over and over again, plus share it with others. If you do slip, clean it up as soon as possible – which could be a minute after you say it. Sometimes it works to explain – not justify or defend – the underlying reasons for your tart tone (e.g., you’re fried and hungry and it’s been a tough day) to put it in context. Take responsibility for your tone and its impacts, and recommit to a clearer, cleaner, more direct way of expressing yourself. At the end of an interaction, you may not get the result you want from the other person – but you can get the result of self-respect and feeling that you did the best you could.
About The Author
RICK HANSON Rick Hanson, PhD, is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UYC Berkeley, and a New York Times bestselling author. His books have been published in 29 languages and include Neurodharma, Resilient, and Hardwiring Happiness. To Learn More Visit: www.RickHanson.net
Need a personal or professional plan to ensure success in your new normal?Â
5 Days to Clarity: Your Easy Roadmap to C.H.A.N.G.E.
Change is Constant! Be Prepared Be Successful
Click below for your free Roadmap to Change https://bit.ly/LivingInspiredOffer
SMOKING CAN DOUBLE COVID-19 PROGRESSION Mary Beth Battaglia Certified Clinical Hypnosis Practitioner
ISN'T IT TIME TO QUIT SMOKING WITH HYPNOSIS?
www.metrohypnosiscenter.com
Video Hypnosis Sessions For Individuals And Groups
Call For A Free Video Consultation 201-477-0265
COMBAT PROCRASTINATION: 4 TIPS TO HEL P YOU G ET THE JO B DONE Written by Joan Herrmann
I
I am the queen of procrastination, always have been. Throughout school and into my adult life, I always waited until the last minute to get something done, telling myself that I work best under pressure. The reality was, I didn’t feel like doing the work and so I waited until it was absolutely necessary. This behavior resulted in so much unnecessary stress. When I started my companies, I learned the hard way that my usual style was not going to work. I hold at least four full time jobs so there is too much that needs to be completed and there are always deadlines. I recognized that I needed to develop better time management practices. Here are a few of my favorite ways to stay on task: Create lists. Lists are my lifeline. I make a monthly list of main tasks that must be completed, then I break those down into a weekly list, and then into a daily list. Without that list I wouldn’t achieve a fraction of what I do each day. It’s my secret weapon. I find that when I don’t have a list to follow, I am all over the place. I will start a project and then switch to something else, and then something else, never completing anything. When I have a list, I handle one task at a time, and then cross it off when finished. It keeps me focused. Sometimes I don’t even know what I have to do that day until I see the list. And, I love seeing items crossed off because I feel a sense of accomplishment. Get the hard stuff done first. It’s hard to do something that you don’t want to do, but it is best to complete your most challenging assignments first. Everything after takes a shorter amount of time and seems easier. Follow Mark Twain’s advice: “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your
job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” Set simple, achievable goals. Part of the reason we procrastinate is because the work at hand seems too daunting. Chunk it down into manageable tasks and tackle one part at a time. Disable notifications from e-mail, instant messaging apps, social media or even apps you use for your work. Schedule time to peruse social media or to check email and stick to it! As Benjamin Franklin said, “You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again.”
About The Author
JOAN HERRMANN Joan Herrmann is the creator of the Change Your Attitude… Change Your life brand and host of the radio show and podcast, Conversations with Joan. She is a motivational speaker and the publisher of 24 Seven magazine. To Learn More Visit: www.JoanHerrmann.com
Let Go Of The Little Things In Life Written by Guy Finley
W We all know what it is like to be held captive of the little things in life — those petty concerns and small desires that steal their way into how we look at our lives and pit us against anyone or anything seen as trying to take away our anticipated desire. Here is a short list of these little troublemakers that often make big trouble for us whenever we mistake them for being our friends: • Unrealistic expectations that others should treat us only as we imagine they should • Strong attachments to even the smallest and strangest of our possessions • Pressing convictions that no one else sees things as clearly as we do
• Nagging resentments from relationships past and present • Perfect certainty that no one is permitted to interrupt our pleasures How can we say for sure that these conditions are little more than big nothings in the scheme of things? We all have been through those telltale moments in our lives when, due to a crisis of some kind beyond our control, we are momentarily able to see where we had lost sight of what was really worthwhile. Perhaps we are the kind of person who is always complaining about some small ache or pain, and then we suddenly learn that someone we love faces a lifeor-death challenge. Maybe we think that we are the only one on earth who suffers emotionally in the way that we do, and then comes that moment when, in lashing out at someone for being so uncaring about our situation, we not only see that he or she is suffering as well, but also that we are the cause of it. Or maybe we’re lucky enough to be with someone who has less in life than we do, but who is willing and happy to share what little he or she has in spite of what tomorrow might bring. In such moments, if we still have a human heart, we realize in humility that we have been blind to the existence of our own greater estate. In moments we make this shocking but wonderful discovery: we have been lost in some little part of ourselves, unconscious of the influence of our own self-centered desires, as well as of the cost this unsuspected selfishness exacts on everyone around us. Even more important than this initial revelation is the following one that appears within our new awareness. We can now see, by the faintest light, that we had mistaken ourselves for someone we are not! And in this same self-awakening we are granted that first priceless glimmer of self-knowledge that is sought after by all who would uncover the truth of themselves. We are beginning to see that we have been
From The Story
“We are momentarily able to see where we had lost sight of what was really worthwhile.”
playing host to an unconscious nature that is not only blind to the world it binds us to, but also that would have us believe that its little selfdom is the same as the actual great estate of our true nature. How can such a deception take place in us and go undetected? We would never willingly agree to be the blind agent of that which makes another human being ache, let alone hurt our own chances to grow into a kind and compassionate being. And yet the evidence reveals that we are indeed living under the sway of self-compromising influences that are invisible to us. It is the higher, yet still hidden self of ours that beckons us to realize and enter into a greater life. And though its whispered wisdom often gets lost in the din of all the other voices that tell us what we need and where to look for it, if we listen closely enough we can hear what our true self would have us know: Whenever we start to feel small it’s only because we have unconsciously identified ourselves with life’s little things. Learning to let go and to live in the now is the same as catching ourselves holding onto what limits us and then deliberately dropping these selfimposed restrictions.
About The Author
GUY FINLEY Guy Finley is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and bestselling self-help author. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for transcendent self-study located in Merlin, Oregon. He also hosts the Foundation’s Wisdom School — an on-line self-discovery program for seekers of higher self-knowledge.. To Learn More Visit: www.GuyFinley.org
R E A DY F O R C H A N G E ? Written by Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®
A
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anaïs Nin Is being disorganized affecting your daily life? Are you ready to make a change? Are you really sure you’re ready? Maybe you are and maybe you aren’t. When it comes to getting organized, change is essential. What once worked isn’t working any longer, and that requires a different way of thinking and doing. Change is a process. It isn’t always a straight path, and it isn’t always easy. Most people resist change because it brings in the unfamiliar; you feel scared, you don’t know what to expect, and you can feel very alone. According to the Institute for Challenging Disorganization, people may experience five phases of change. They are not always linear, and people can go back and forth between phases. Phase 1: Initial rumblings. The feeling that being disorganized no longer serves you. You aren’t yet ready to make any changes, but you know you’re uncomfortable with your current situation and you’re getting emotionally prepared. Phase 2: Identifying possibilities. You feel dissatisfied and anxious yet paralyzed to change anything on your own. You start to at least think about enlisting outside help from a professional organizer, but you feel apprehensive about actually doing it. Phase 3: Reaching out. The pain and overwhelm are enough to make you pick up the phone and make the call. You realize you can’t do it alone, and you begin to feel hopeful that things will change with the right support.
Phase 4: Beyond talking. Now you are ready for action. You have committed the physical, emotional, and financial resources needed to create your desired change. You’ve hired an organizer and are starting to do the work. Big feelings may arise at this stage, like guilt, grief, nostalgia, love, elation, relief that someone is helping you, and frustration and impatience with how challenging, and slow, the process can be. In this phase, there may be forward progress as well as “backsliding,” reverting to old habits and thought processes because they are familiar and comfortable. This phase may last quite a while. If you stick with doing the work, the results make the emotional roller coaster worth riding. Phase 5: Life jolts. Significant life events, like marriage, the birth of a baby, divorce, relocation, job change, or a world crisis can jumpstart the process of change. You can see much more clearly what you really want to keep in or release from your life, whether physical items, time commitments, or toxic relationships. You are highly motivated to make changes, and progress can be rapid at this stage. Your organizing goals are in sight!
About The Author
GAYLE M. GRUENBERG Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®, CVO, is the chief executive organizer of Let’s Get Organized, LLC, an organizer coach, and the creator of the Make Space for Blessings system. To Learn More Visit: www.LGOrganized.com
Life. Simplified.
201-364-6833
www.LGOrganized.com
January 2021 Issue
Curbing Your Most Negative Thought Written by Linda Mitchell, CPC, LMT
Our co-worker, Tom, regularly stops at the coffee machine to chat. Tom is not well liked in the office. He gossips, and he’s loud, rude, and rarely has an unexpressed thought. He joins conversations uninvited and offers his opinions at top volume. People try to walk away, but often he receives eye rolls, unfriendly rebukes, and sideways looks. You may wonder, “Can’t he see he’s not wanted?” Yes! That’s the whole point. Tom’s subconscious most negative thought is, “I’m not wanted”, so he constantly carries out actions that reinforce that belief. He’s unwittingly collecting evidence to support and prove that negative belief every day. Whatever you choose to call it - core belief, personal lie, or most negative thought - if you don’t challenge it, it will run your life. Your most negative thought might sound something like one of these: • I’m not good enough • I’m not worthy of good things • I’m bad • I don’t belong
• I’m wrong • I’m not enough as a man/woman • Life has to be a struggle • Success is hard These are some of the most common of many. Humans will do almost anything to avoid change. You’ll stay in the familiar even if it’s not comfortable because the thought of change can be so uncomfortable. This is a survival and protection mechanism that has been part of our brains since we lived in caves and threw rocks at our enemies. However, these negative beliefs are often a huge obstacle in our modern desires for health, happiness, and spiritual fulfillment. Let’s go back to Tom, obeying his subconscious need to avoid change. If Tom’s outcome to most life situations is to feel “I’m not wanted”, then he has successfully dodged change by staying in the uncomfortable, but familiar patterns. Nothing will change as long as he keeps collecting evidence to back up his belief that he is not wanted. What’s your most negative thought? How do you perpetuate it? Be aware that as much as you may dislike this about yourself, you also rely on it to a degree. Can you recognize that feeling of comfort in your body as you run on the treadmill of past thoughts, beliefs and patterns? Do you truly want to change? If so, you must change your thoughts in order to change your life. Physically, your most negative thought resides between your shoulder blades so it’s not surprising that a great many people have tight, painful or tense backs and shoulders. The good news is that with intention and conscious action, you can begin to release your negative thought and your physical issues at the same time. Once you’ve recognized your negative thought, you’re on your way to curbing it and halting this process of selfsabotage. Awareness is the critical first step in creating change. Since “I’m not good enough” is one most people resonate with, let’s use that in an example of how to break free from allowing your most negative thought to control you. Close your eyes for a moment and recall the
“You must change your thoughts in order to change your life.”
last time you felt not good enough. Really feel it in detail – the situation, who was there, what was said - all of it. Now ask yourself three questions: What am I feeling now? What’s my body doing? What thoughts and emotions come up? These answers are key because they’re the mental, physical, and emotional patterns you repeat over and over. They’re how you embody, “I’m not good enough”. Go back over your answers and notice how familiar they feel. Recognize especially how you’re dwelling on past issues - this is no longer about the current problem. You’re recalling every time you’ve done something similar in the past and using that to beat yourself up. For most of us, our most negative thought was formed fairly early on in life. To make real change and break free of this cycle, you need to stop using the past as a model and instead stay in the present moment. This involves catching yourself in the act of recreating the same mental, physical and emotional reactions and intentionally replacing at least two of the three with present moment responses. If you can change at least two of your usual reactions, you’re well on your way to breaking this cycle of unhappiness and tamping down your most negative belief. Reality is about being in the here and now; it’s the present that matters. Tuning in to the present moment keeps you from using the past as a reflex or reference to continue punishing yourself. Present time is all we ever have and it’s a gift. These are your first steps to living free from your most negative thought about yourself. It’s never true anyway…until you act as though it is.
About The Author
LINDA MITCHELL Linda Mitchell is a board-certified coach, speaker, reinvention expert and LMT. She empowers people who are stuck, overwhelmed, or ready for change to release their struggles, gain clarity, and balance and radiant health as they move through life’s challenges and transitions and step into their highest purpose. To Learn More Visit: www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com
New Baby?
REFRESH… REFRESH …
with this simple yet beautifully written book which offers a sense of peace, camaraderie & some humor. All necessary when a newborn is involved! “A perfect gift for expecting moms.” “The author’s voice is that of a sage friend.”
VISIT AMYMCOLLINS.COM
to purchase Infant Inspiration & channel your supermom powers with a FREE 4-minute video Amy m. Collins is a Motherhood Mentor who helps women build a solid foundation for their motherhood journey. You’ll learn easy-to-use tools to become a more confident mom...and have fun doing it, too! When mom feels good, everyone benefits!
Follow Amy:
@AmyMCollins.mommentor
@joinAmyMCollins
January 2021 Issue
Adjust and Reinvent in 2021 Written by Lorie Gardner, RN
T
This is a new year like no other before us in our lifetime. You all know so well the lifechanging events that have occurred in 2020. What will be your self-talk for 2021? Will you ruminate over all of the horrors, tragedies, and challenges of 2020, or do you want to adjust and reinvent your mindset and outlook for 2021? In an excellent book that I read many years ago, The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck, MD, the opening line is, “Life is difficult”. Boy, have we found out how difficult life can be during 2020! Dr. Peck simply states that these difficulties are problems to be solved. He goes on to speak about how we need to have the right tools to solve our problems. Tools like self-discipline, delayed gratification, accepting responsibility for your own life, and a dedication to the truth. This is pretty heavy stuff, but you can see there are some pearls of wisdom here, can’t you? It might be interesting this year to instead of making new year resolutions (that usually don’t work), you reflect on the lessons learned during the past difficult year. Some interesting questions could include: • What did you find out were luxuries in your life that you were able to do without? • How did you handle the stress? Is there some additional support or learning you need in this area? • Did time and perseverance with the challenges make you stronger or not, and if so how? • What and who drained your energy and what and who added strength and wisdom to you? • Did you undergo any personal changes? • Do you have a new vision for your life after this year? • What are you going to do with your life in 2021? It might make you feel good and proud to write your
manifesto of how you navigated through this year and then how you would describe yourself starting 2021. There may be some very sensitive and challenging issues left over that may be worth getting support for including professional help, but there also may be some newfound strengths and resiliency for which to be proud. For this exercise, list what you did well and how it can make you stronger going forward. What tools did you use to solve some of the problems you faced during this pandemic? How will you use what you learned and the strengths you tapped into to create your 2021 vision of yourself, not what you will do or accomplish, but rather who you are as that powerful problem solver and person who coped minute-tominute throughout this pandemic year. Don’t forget any “silver lining” lessons you experienced. I hope that you can take yourself gently and patiently into 2021, which still may have similar challenges, and find some resiliency and strength to maneuver what is to come.
About The Author
LORIE GARDNER Lorie Gardner RN, BSN, NBC-HWC, founded Healthlink Advocates, Inc., to assist people with all aspects of their healthcare. As private nurse patient advocates and board certified health and wellness coaches, they partner with clients seeking assistance navigating the complex healthcare system and those seeking self-directed, lasting health improvements aligned with their values. To Learn More Visit: www.healthlinkadvocates.com
MOM, TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK FROM AUTISM! Trade in isolation for friendship Swap burnout for power Transform confusion into a plan for your child’s success Meet other awesome moms going through the same thing and get tools to help you stay sane and actually thrive! Heidi Rome, MBA, Autism Moms Coach and Founder, Moms Spectrum Oasis, LLC Helping autism mothers stay strong, inspired and prepared to get your special kids’ lifelong needs met.
www.MomsSpectrumOasis.com
Schedule Your Talk With Heidi TODAY! www.CallWithHeidi.com
