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EDITOR IN CHIEF Joan Herrmann —
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Lindsay Pearson —
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Matt Herrmann —
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Chris Giordano Andrea Valentie Oliver Pane —
CONTRIBUTORS Suzanne Falter Guy Finley Lorie Gardner, RN, NBC-HWC Gayle Gruenberg, CPO-CD, CVO Rick Hanson, PhD Joan Herrmann Mark Hyman, MD Linda Mitchell, CPC
FROM THE EDITOR — A tragedy is defined as “an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress.” We understand the meaning of those words, however, I believe the important component is how we view the situation. What may be a “tragedy” to one person, is nothing more than a “bump in the road” to another. While we can agree that death, divorce, illness, financial insecurity, a job loss, create less than desirable circumstances, each can be viewed and handled differently from one person to the next. The key is that person’s outlook. I recently spoke with FOX LA’s morning meteorologist, Maria Quiban Whitesell, who is the author of the new book, You
Can’t Do It Alone: A Widow’s Journey Through Loss, Grief, and Life After. Maria, when faced with her husband Sean’s terminal brain cancer diagnosis, found herself in a position she could not have imagined. There were many challenges for which she was unprepared. But Maria learned to deal with illness, death and grief, all while caring for her son and wearing a smile every day in front of millions on LA’s morning show, Good Day LA. To survive, she combined her faith with an appreciation of her blessings. She stressed the importance of a positive attitude. Listen to my conversation with Maria: https://spoti.fi/2CB7k2x
— Joan Herrmann
MARIA QUIBAN WHITESELL
ISSUE NO.119
INSIDE THIS
ISSUE WHAT NOT TO EAT BY MARK HYMAN, MD
PAGE 12
FIND YOUR OWN WAY BY RICK HANSON, PHD
PAGE 20
IT’S TIME TO FACE YOUR FEARS: 4 STEPS TO STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE BY JOAN HERRMANN
PAGE 24
HOW TO OVERCOME INSOMNIA WHEN YOU’RE TOO STRESSED OUT
ON THIS MONTH’S
C OV E R WHEN FACED WITH HER HUSBAND SEAN’S TERMINAL BRAIN CANCER DIAGNOSIS, FOXLA’S MORNING METEOROLOGIST, MARIA QUIBAN WHITESELL, FOUND HERSELF IN A POSITION SHE COULD NOT HAVE IMAGINED. SHE HAD TO LEARN TO DEAL WITH ILLNESS, DEATH AND GRIEF, ALL WHILE CARING FOR HER SON AND WEARING A SMILE EVERY DAY IN FRONT OF MILLIONS ON LA’S MORNING SHOW, GOOD DAY LA. MARIA SHARES HER JOURNEY AND OFFERS ACTIONABLE INSIGHTS THAT CAN HELP NAVIGATE CHANGE. MARIA, HER LATE HUSBAND, SEAN, AND HIS BROTHER, PATRICK, ARE AMONG THE BIG ENTERTAINMENT FAMILIES IN HOLLYWOOD. SEAN WAS A WRITER AND PRODUCER FOR TELEVISION SHOWS INCLUDING HBO’S OZ, FOX’S HOUSE, AND AMC’S THE KILLING . MARIA AND SOCIAL WORKER, LAUREN SCHNEIDER, CO-AUTHORED THE BOOK, YOU CAN’T DO IT ALONE: A WIDOW’S JOURNEY THROUGH LOSS, GRIEF, AND LIFE AFTER. LISTEN TO MARIA ON CYACYL: https://spoti.fi/2CB7k2x
BY SUZANNE FALTER
PAGE 28
LIVE WITH INTENTION TO CREATE A LIFE YOU LOVE BY LINDA MITCHELL
PAGE 32
BE PROACTIVE AND BE READY FOR AN EMERGENCY HOSPITALIZATION BY LORIE GARDNER
PAGE 34
PHOTOGRAPHY PROVIDED BY JOSH KAPLAN
ORGANIZING TECHNIQUE – FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES, AND STRANGERS BY GAYLE GRUENBERG
PAGE 38
STOP SEEKING APPROVAL AND START LIVING IN REAL FREEDOM BY GUY FINLEY
PAGE 40 SEPTEMBER 2020
24 SEVEN MAGAZINE
Allison Carmen
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W H AT N O T T O E AT
For the most part, we all understand how to cook with real food. We typically don’t add non-food ingredients into our home-cooked meals. Our avocados aren’t made with green dye. We don’t sprinkle stearoyl lactylate into our soups and breads. The problem isn’t typically home cooked meals using fresh ingredients; the problem is the food-like substances, chemicals, food additives, preservatives, food dyes, and artificial sweeteners that food companies add to their food. But if you don’t have stearoyl lactylate in your cupboard, then you probably shouldn’t eat it in the food that you buy either.
Written by Mark Hyman, MD
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For so long, most people were unaware of the chemicals added to our foods and how the hormones, plastics, and toxins that we congest on a day to day basis are harming our bodies. Now, many of us conscious consumers have learned to avoid breads containing yoga mats and french fries with Silly Putty in them. But sometimes processed foods still find their way into our kitchens. I’m not saying that ALL processed and packaged foods are all bad. People have been processing food virtually from day one. Until refrigeration, it was the only way we had of preserving perishables to eat later. Cooking is a form of processing, so are curing, drying, smoking, fermenting — the list goes on and on. Whole foods processed using traditional methods and ingredients are not something we need to avoid. Some processing actually improves food by making its nutrients more available or potent. We just have to understand which processed foods we can safely eat and which ones we should avoid. In this article I want to walk you through what processed foods to avoid so that when you do find yourself deciding on whether or not to buy that box of goodies you can make better choices. Avoid the following: Anything with ingredients that are difficult to pronounce. These products surely contain substances that belong in a chemistry set, not in your body. Try saying stearoyl lactylate or butylated hydroxytoluene with ease. Not so easy. Skip those questionable ingredients. Anything that didn’t exist in your grandmother’s day— maybe even your great-grandmother’s day, depending on how old you are. I know this is kind of a trendy approach to eating right now, but it completely makes sense. One hundred years ago we didn’t need a label to tell us that our food was local, organic, and grass-fed; all food was
whole, real, unadulterated, traditional food. Fortunately, there is a desire to get back to this way of eating. Anything containing soybean oil. Americans now get almost 10 percent of their calories from refined soybean oil, which is one of the most abundant sources of omega-6 fatty acids. Plus, it often contains high levels of glyphosate, or Roundup, the toxic herbicide used by Monsanto. It’s not that Americans are drinking soybean oil by the cup; most people aren’t even aware they’re eating it. But it’s lurking everywhere. If you eat fast food, grains, desserts, packaged snacks, potato chips, muffins, or conventionally raised meat, or buy almost anything cooked in oil at a cafeteria, diner, or restaurant, then you’re almost certainly consuming lots of soybean oil and other oils rich in omega-6 fatty acids without even knowing it. This stuff is toxic and inflammatory. Stay away. Anything containing high-fructose corn syrup. When used in moderation, it is a major cause of heart disease, obesity, cancer, dementia, liver failure, tooth decay, and more. Anything with the word “hydrogenated” in its name. Since most people don’t know that hydrogenated fat and trans fat are the same thing, food makers have been able to hide the trans fat content in plain sight using this little trick. Anything advertised on TV. Have you seen a commercial for broccoli or sardines during the Super Bowl? The worst foods get the most airtime on television. Anything with a cute name. Froot Loops are not a good source of fruit. Anything you can buy at a drive-through window. This one is a no-brainer. Anything with monosodium glutamate (otherwise known as MSG), even though the FDA says it is safe. It’s an excitotoxin—a neurotransmitter that is known to kill brain cells. We associate it with Chinese cuisine, but food companies use it in many items without our knowledge. They even try to hide its presence, calling it “hydrolyzed vegetable protein,” “vegetable protein,” “natural flavorings,” and even simply “spices.” Spices? Tricky, right? And the worst news—it induces hunger and carb cravings, so you’ll eat more of it. It’s what they give to lab rats in experiments to fatten them up Any food in an aerosol can. Anything called “cheese food” (which is neither cheese nor food). Anything with artificial sweeteners. The evidence is catching up. Recent studies have not been kind to artificial sweeteners, claiming among other problems
they adversely affect gut health and glucose tolerance. I recommend giving up aspartame, sucralose, sugar alcohols such as maltitol, and all of the other heavily used and marketed sweeteners unless you want to slow down your metabolism, gain weight, and become an addict. Use a little stevia if you must, but skip out on the others. Anything with any type of additives, preservatives, or dyes (of which we eat about 2 1⁄2 pounds per person per year). Any food with more than five ingredients on the label, unless they are all things you recognize, such as tomatoes, water, basil, oregano, salt. I know this might seem like a long list, but you can avoid all of these items by sticking with real, whole foods, and brands that you trust. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, food is literally the most powerful medicine you have available to control your health. I want you to think of your kitchen as your
pharmacy. It all starts with taking out the junk, and putting in the good stuff.
About The Author
MARK HYMAN Mark Hyman MD is the Director of Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Functional Medicine, the Founder of The UltraWellness Center, and a ten-time #1 New York Times Bestselling author. To Learn More Visit: www.drhyman.com
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Find Your Own Way Written by Rick Hanson, PhD
T The human body has about 100 trillion cells (plus another ten quadrillion microscopic critters hitching a ride, most of them beneficial or harmless). Each one of your cells has aims – goals, in a sense – controlled by its DNA: cells conduct processes aimed at particular functions, like building bones or gobbling up harmful invaders. Cells also work together in larger and larger assemblies in pursuit of broader goals, such as the 100 billion neurons in your brain that run the nervous system, which as a whole is itself the master regulator of the body. In effect, there are layers, hierarchies, of goals in the body – and a similar architecture of aims in the mind. For example, operating right now is the goal of moving your eyes over these words,
which serves the goal of understanding them, which serves larger goals such as desires to learn new things, new skills, and to be truly happy. In short, whether in the body or the mind, there is no life without goals. Trying to “transcend” goals is itself a goal. The only question is: Are your goals good ones? In other words, do they lead to happiness and benefits for you and others rather than suffering and harms? To choose good goals we must balance the influences of the world and the murmurings of the heart. Some counsel from others is good; I wish I’d listened to my parents’ advice to start saving in my 20’s (rather than in my 50’s when I finally got around to it). But often we get nudged, cowed, persuaded, bullied, seduced, enveloped, swept along, or otherwise drawn into values, priorities, gender or culture roles, perspectives on life, assumptions, addictions, career choices, marriages, spiritual practices or orientations, etc. etc. etc. that in ways large or small are not really, not deeply, right for us. And sometimes we are an active participant in this process. For example, it was a combination of external hype and internal laziness that led me to try to take a shortcut in my early 30’s with my training as a psychologist, which then cost me a couple years of effort to get back on the right path. In effect, a thousand little threads tug at us this way and that, many of them originating from within, internalized voices and faces from the past and “shoulds” and “musts” from the present. When these threads pull you from your true course – the one that is authentic, at the intersection of your talents and joys and values, appropriate to your temperament and nature, and filled with heart – you end up feeling sidetracked, caught in a backwater, unfulfilled, unused, adrift, trapped, even alienated from your own life. Do you have any sense of this, yourself? So it’s important to find your own way. As a frame, know that you can follow your course while also fulfilling your responsibilities. With intention and practice, an inner freedom is available while being externally engaged. You
From The Story
“You can follow your course while also fulfilling your responsibilities.”
make these responsibilities part of your course, an honorable expression of it, informed by it, an opportunity for growth in your own way. Consider how you are not living your own life as much as you could. In relationships, do you make more room for the other person’s needs than your own? What aren’t you saying? Whose shoulds or plans or taboos are you living out? (Especially the ones from childhood.) How might you be conforming, even in subtle ways, to scripts or teachings or group-think or cultural programs? When you get those other voices out of your head, what’s left that’s true? What silence might be speaking to you? Take a look at parts of your life, such as family or career or a particular relationship. Have you drifted from your own truth in any of these situations? What specific course corrections could you make? What would help you stick with them? Open to guidance outside the box. Draw on (for most people) the right side of your brain for images of your current path and where it could be better to go. Listen to your heart: What in your life is truly working for you that you could strengthen, and what is calling to you to lean more toward? Step out of your normal routine for an hour or longer: go for a long drive or walk, take a workshop, spend a day with a dear friend – and look at your life from a bird’s-eye view, with a sense of possibility and freedom: Alright, no praise or blame, but where to head from here? The shift in course could be tiny. It could be simply a matter of adjusting an attitude or spending 20 minutes a day in a new way. But extended forward over the rest of your life, and meanwhile knowing in your heart that it is true for you, will make all the difference in the world. We make a life a minute at a time. In this minute, you can lean as much as possible toward your own true way. As they say in Tibet, if you take care of the minutes, the years will take care of themselves.
About The Author
RICK HANSON, PHD Rick Hanson, PhD, is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UYC Berkeley, and a New York Times bestselling author. His books have been published in 29 languages and include Neurodharma, Resilient, and Hardwiring Happiness. To Learn More Visit: www.RickHanson.net
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September 2020 Issue
It’s Time to Face Your Fears: 4 Steps to Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone Written by Joan Herrmann
D
Do you allow fear to stop you dead in your tracks whenever you think about trying something new? Does that voice in your head conjure up a list of reasons to be inactive, why you shouldn’t try to accomplish a goal? For most of my life, I was that person, too afraid to take a chance, self-sabotaging myself at every turn. I had a reason for every roadblock that I built; I allowed fear to govern my life. It took a major life upheaval and a lot of soul searching to get me to change my ways. And when I did, I realized that I hadn’t really lived - I played it safe and simply survived. Over the course of the past decade, I have had the opportunity to interview people that have inspired and challenged me to step outside of the comfort zone I called life. I met warriors who have overcome tremendous challenges and displayed courage that most can only imagine They changed my way of thinking! Some of these people were born without arms and legs, or feet, or hands; others have lost their vision or the ability to walk; and others have survived horrific trauma and now live their life in service to others. Every one of these people had every right to live in fear
as they faced unfathomable challenges, but they all chose to confront their limitations and achieve what many would consider to be “impossible”. They understood that fear is nothing more than a mindset, a perception, False Evidence Appearing Real. They taught me that each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage and confidence in the doing. So, the next time you’re faced with an overwhelming challenge, an opportunity to try something new, or the chance to step out of your comfort zone, how do you push fear aside and take action? 1. Evaluate the driving force behind your fear. Is it a real consideration or something that you have created in your mind? 2. Make a list of your concerns and attack them one by one. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen?” (btw…it usually doesn’t). 3. Develop a plan of action. What is your goal and how will you achieve it? Empower yourself with knowledge. 4. Muster up the courage and take a chance. The best plans are meaningless without action. As the explorer Christopher Columbus said, “You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Remember, it isn’t the end result that matters … it’s the journey. You may just enjoy the ride!
About The Author
JOAN HERRMANN Joan Herrmann, creator of the Change Your Attitude…Change Your life brand, is the host of the radio show, Conversations with Joan, which is broadcast on New York’s AM970 The Answer. She is the publisher of 24 Seven magazine and a motivational speaker. To Learn More Visit: www.JoanHerrmann.com
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September 2020 Issue
How to Overcome Insomnia When You’re Too Stressed Out Written by Suzanne Falter
For five grueling years, I had chronic insomnia, night after night. It was triggered by an unstable relationship followed by the sudden death of my daughter, both of which collided with menopause. OB/GYN’s say insomnia is the most common complaint of the menopausal women they treat. Yet, chronic insomnia can also be set off by intense PTSD and grief. A recent NPR report indicates more than 60 million Americans suffer from insomnia. Only now, several years after my crises, do I sleep peacefully. Here’s what my insomnia looks like. I wake up three to four hours after I fall asleep. I’m so wide awake I could play a hand of cards, compose a business letter, or go organize my closets. It takes hours to fall back to sleep. I’ve tried nearly every remedy and read every book out there, some of which work better than others. I even took a seminar for health professionals about insomnia and the over stimulated brain. I’m not one to turn to sleeping pills, sedatives or even medical marijuana as they only mask the problem. Once you stop taking them, your insomnia is still there … waiting patiently for you. To that end, here’s the drug-free list of alternatives that have worked for me so far.
Keep a sleep log at night. This helps you track just how your behavior affects your sleep. Make columns for date and sleep percentage, time to bed, time you fell asleep, number of times you woke, total time awake, final time awake, time you got out of bed, and quality of sleep from one to five. At the end leave a column for notes on what varied from day to day. Update your sleep log each morning. Then calculate this: # of minutes slept ÷ # of minutes in bed. Keep your log for a while, then track that sleep percentage each day relative to how your behavior varies. When you get at least five days of sleep over 90 percent you’ll know what’s working. Wear blue light blocking glasses. Mounting evidence says the blue light from phone and computer screens can keep you awake. The light tricks the brain into thinking it’s daytime, even when it’s not. However, blue light blocking glasses (available on places like Amazon) remove the blue light from your phone, computer or television. This actually works! No simple carbs at night. Simple carbs like cookies, candy, cereal, potatoes, white bread and baked goods can wake you up in the middle of the night when consumed in the afternoon or evening. “Reverse meals,” advised one doctor. Eat a big lunch and just some light protein and veggies, soup or fruit for dinner. Create a dark cozy sanctuary with an eye pillow. Removing light pollution from your bedroom is often a key to a good night’s sleep. The best way I’ve found is with a small silk bag that’s like a beanbag filled with flax seeds. Eye pillows lay across your eyes keeping the light out from, say, a partner who likes to read after you go to sleep, or light pollution from the street. Write down your worries. Keep a worry log and you’ll find out just how worried you actually are. If you write these thoughts down in a place other than your bedroom in the early evening and then put them away, you will naturally move concerns through your brain more easily at night. It also helps to schedule a time when you will resolve some of these issues. Exercise daily. Even a 20-minute walk can help, but don’t work out just before bed. I find exercise takes the edge off of my natural anxiety and helps me chill out. Then I’m truly tired by bedtime. Avoid alcohol. Yeah, we all know this one. Personally I find it very true that when I have a glass of wine it will revisit me in the middle of the night and mess with my sleep. Eliminate caffeine completely. One doctor
From The Story
“More than 60 million Americans suffer from insomnia.”
told me that we become more sensitive to caffeine as we get into mid-life. Furthermore, caffeine has been found to have a ‘half life’ that stays in your body an average of 5.7 hours after the buzz is gone. Certain genetic variants can keep the buzz going far longer so you sleep far more fitfully. Keep your window open at night and use ear plugs if you need to. Simple but true. The body rests more deeply if slightly chilled. If you have ambient noise outside, silicone ear plugs are actually very effective. Practice sleep restraint and keep a consistent sleep schedule. This is the single most effective remedy I have found for my insomnia. By keeping a sleep log you will come to learn how much sleep you actually need to feel good. Note: by mid-life, most of us tend to need less sleep than when we were younger. The average for people over 50 is actually 6.5 hours. Sleep restraint is modifying how long you stay in bed each night. It means getting up within three minutes of naturally waking up, whether you want to or not. So if you go to bed at 10 PM and you wake up at 5:30 or 6 AM, you get up, turn on the lights and start your day instead of rolling over. By the same turn, keep yourself awake at night until your consistent bedtime arrives. If you have trouble staying awake, go for a brief walk. This will be uncomfortable at first but give it a few days and your body will adjust — and you’ll begin to stay more consistently. Much of good sleep has to do with learned habit and association. So this teaches the body to use more of its time in bed actually sleeping. Methodically relax your mind. When my mind is racing in the middle of the night, I lie in bed and quietly calm each part of my head, jaw, face, neck, shoulders, moving on through the body. It’s basically a way to methodically still the mind and relax the body. And it’s often the last thing I remember when trying to fall back to sleep. May you find something helpful here in your quest for a good night’s sleep. Sweet dreams!
About The Author
SUZANNE FALTER Suzanne Falter is the author of The Extremely Busy Woman’s Guide to Self-Care and the host of the SelfCare for Extremely Busy Women podcast. To Learn More Visit: www.SuzanneFalter.com
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September 2020 Issue
Live With Intention To Create A Life You Love Written by Linda Mitchell, CPC
W Want an effective way to bring positive changes into your life? Use the proven power of intention. From the Wright Brothers intention to fly, to yesterday’s intention to reach a personal goal, ideas and intentions create your physical reality and determine outcomes. When we tune into this field of pure potentiality, we are limitless. Intentions manifest into reality when you feed them by consistently focusing your attention on them. Make clear intentions and anchor them in by spending time visualizing what you desire. Many studies show those who visualize what they intend to bring forth have much greater success! See and feel yourself in the scenario you want to bring about; use all five senses to marinate in it. It’s time well invested. It’s critical to align your thoughts with your intentions. Do you outwardly intend for something wonderful but quietly fret about it or hold anxious thoughts and fears that it won’t happen? This contradictory and constricting energy makes it much harder to achieve the end result. Reluctance, resistance or doubt all lower your vibration
and create roadblocks to realizing your intention. It’s much tougher to manifest your intentions when your inner critic has control of your thoughts whispering, “Who do you think you are - you’ll never achieve that!” Be sure you’re not creating intentions from a place of angst, worry or disbelief. You’ll just boomerang that negative energy back to you, frustrate yourself and stall the process. Fear, apprehension and struggle lower your vibration and your energy. If you believe it has to be hard, it will be! Surrender control and trust there’s more than one good way to get there. Be open to unexpected ways of creating the result without attachment to any one particular path to success. Your intention must be line with your empowered beliefs, faith in yourself and the conviction that you deserve what you intend for. Align your intentions with your hero self, the part of you that truly believes you can create it and that you’re worthy of it. You can create a new reality by concentrating on your intentions. Beliefs and intentions determine outcome. Success is achieved when the intention is clear, specific and you’re willing to take inspired actions which move you closer to the desired event. Get focused and connect
with why you’ve created a particular intention. Be sure it’s in alignment with your values and your vision. State your intentions in present tense rather than terms that leave you in a state of wanting. For example, saying, my intention is to secure a fulfilling well-paying job, beats saying I want a fulfilling well-paying job. The later statement signals that you expect to remain in a state of wanting versus believing you’ll secure that job. There’s a big difference in the energy of these statements so be sure to create intentions which mirror your true desires using words that reflect belief and trust that the change is already beginning to manifest. You’ll see it when you believe it!
About The Author
LINDA MITCHELL Linda Mitchell, a board certified executive and personal coach, speaker and reinvention expert empowers people who are stuck, overwhelmed or ready for change to confidently transition into their next meaningful role with clarity, purpose and ease and emerge more powerful, passionate and fulfilled. Reclaim balance and joy! To Learn More Visit: www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com
Be Proactive and Be Ready for an Emergency Hospitalization Written by Lorie Gardner, RN, NBC-HWC
As we start to gain some insights on the COVID-19 pandemic, it has become clear that the need to be prepared for an emergency hospitalization is very important. Equally important, is to have a conversation with your loved one, friend, or private patient advocate who will be your main contact person during the hospitalization. Think hard about who you want that to be. It should be someone who is committed to assisting you in understanding what is going on in the hospital, is not afraid to ask the important questions, and will challenge the situation and completely understand what your wishes are. Being prepared legally is an important step. Liaise with your attorney and have a Power of Attorney and a Healthcare Proxy document set up. This will protect you in circumstances when you are unable to make decisions for yourself. Also, have an Advance Health Care Directive compiled
so it is clear to your person who is making decisions for you, when you can’t, what your wishes are. It is wise to ensure which hospitals in your area are in your health insurance network ahead of time. You can also check the hospital(s) ratings. Some hospitals are safer than others. You can check the LeapFrog Hospital Safety Grade website, and if you are having surgery, you can check your surgeon’s ratings at Propublica’s Surgeon Scorecard site. This pandemic has made very clear the need to have a communication plan while in the hospital. You may have many family members or friends that want to be involved in your status and recovery. It is essential to have one person who is dedicated to liaising with the nursing staff, social workers, and medical team to stay on top of the plan of care and test results. It is wise to set up a patient portal for the hospital so certain data can be monitored. This person needs to introduce him/herself to the medical team as the person to be directly involved in every detail of the hospitalization. Ask each member of the medical and hospital team for a business card/contact information and the best times to get updates. Always be aware of what the daily treatment plan is for the day. Frequently, the plan of care and/ or goals are written on a whiteboard in the patient’s room. Understand what all of your medications are indicated for and their possible side effects. If a new medication is started while in the hospital, make sure you know who prescribed it and why. Ask what the potential benefits and side effects are. If you have any imaging tests, ask the reason for the test. Request the results as soon as they are available and if the results require any additional treatment. Understand the lab results they are collecting and what they mean. This may all be too much for you as the patient since you may want to concentrate on healing. Have your loved one, friend, or private patient advocate maintain a notebook and keep detailed notes on your progress and actions taken while in the hospital.
From The Story
“Negativity just has a bigger impact on our brains than positivity.”
Hospital Tool Kit It can be helpful to have a bag containing vital information should you have an emergent hospitalization. This could include the following: • Fact sheet – contains your name, address, phone number, date of birth and any allergies • Emergency contact person – name, phone number, email and text information • Medication list – list all the prescribed drugs, over the counter drugs and supplements you take • Medical conditions – list any chronic or acute diseases • Past surgeries and hospitalizations – a list of any surgeries or hospitalizations you have had listed in date order • Insurance information – a copy of the front and back of your insurance card • HIPAA or Healthcare Proxy document • Advance directive • POLST or MOLST form, if available • Power of Attorney • Patient portal information • Overnight bag with your cell phone and charger, 24 hours of medications, hearing aid, glasses, notebook and pen, toiletries. • Other – a note about anything special the hospital staff or emergency responders should know about you if you are not able to communicate yourself. There were many people during this pandemic that were admitted to the hospital in an emergency and there was unavoidable stress due to no visitation for family members. Being prepared with a plan, a contact person, and the above information can increase the ability to communicate and lessen the stress.
About The Author
LORIE GARDNER Lorie Gardner RN, BSN, NBC-HWC, founded Healthlink Advocates, Inc., to assist people with all aspects of their healthcare. As private nurse patient advocates and board certified health and wellness coaches, they partner with clients seeking assistance navigating the complex healthcare system and those seeking self-directed, lasting health improvements aligned with their values. To Learn More Visit: www.healthlinkadvocates.com
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September 2020 Issue
Organizing Technique – Friends, Acquaintances, and Strangers Written by Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®, CVO
A Are there some things in your home that are so important to you that you just can’t imagine life without them? Are there other things that you wonder how they got in the door in the first place? Do some things fall in the middle? When I work onsite with clients, one of the challenges I sometimes face is helping them decide if they should keep or purge something. Clients sometimes own very large collections of things (think hundreds of pairs of shoes), to which they become attached. When collections threaten to take over the house, it’s time to pare down. This can be very difficult, and clients can become paralyzed. Every item seems to be unique. Many clients process their decisions according to their emotions and how they feel about things. They
call in a professional because the organizing process can be easier when it’s social. Using a technique that anthropomorphizes inanimate objects helps to tap into their emotional processing preference. One of my organizing colleagues, Judith Kolberg, created a game to play with her clients. She calls it Friends, Acquaintances, and Strangers. She shares it in her book, Conquering Chronic Disorganization, and it has become one of my favorite organizing techniques. The process can be used for anything: business cards, Tupperware, clothes, papers, time commitments, or anything that has accumulated in a client’s life. Thinking of their collection in terms of how close an item is to clients’ hearts, whether an item is a Friend - that is, especially important, valuable, or loved; which is a Stranger that has long overstayed its welcome; and which is a
mere Acquaintance, which hasn’t yet put down roots, can make it easier to decide what to keep and what to purge.
About The Author
GAYLE M. GRUENBERG Gayle M. Gruenberg, CPO-CD®, CVO is the chief executive organizer of Let’s Get Organized, LLC, an organizer coach, and the creator of the Make Space for Blessings system. To Learn More Visit: www.LGOrganized.com
W R I T T E N BY G U Y F I N L E Y
STOP SEEKING A P P R O VA L A N D S TA R T LIVING IN REAL FREEDOM
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S EEKING APPROVAL IS A POW ERFU L M OTIVATIN G FO RCE IN M OST O F U S. O U R U NENDIN G S EARCH FO R TH E CO N FIRM ATIO N O F OTHERS RU NS DEEP W ITH IN U S . W E ARE U N K N OW IN GLY D RIVEN BY THE IDEA THAT IF WE CO U LD JU ST B E ACCEPTED, T HAT WO U L D BE THE KE Y TO FIN ALLY K N OWIN G WH O WE ARE.
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Most of us share the mistaken belief that if we could get enough people to approve of us, then we would feel some relief from the ache in our soul that is always trying to figure out who we should be. As a result, we are kept in a secret form of captivity. But we can break free of its bonds, and this liberating process starts by asking ourselves: What happens to someone who is always looking for approval? The answer is clear: We sell ourselves! This unconscious, self-destructive behavior has become so habitual to us we don’t catch it. But if we’re paying attention, we can see it when we watch other people. Just listen to a group of people talking over lunch and you can see that the casual conversations of human beings are really fencing competitions — one person saying something and then another person trying to top it. There is this continual tug of war, a real competition going on. Lunches in a social situation can be exhausting! Then there are our families. At a family dinner, all the old business is brought up, with everyone competing and trying to prove they did better in life than we did. If we can see this is so, it raises some important questions: • Why does this go on? Why do we take part in it? What is taking place within us when there is a continual longing for acceptance? Why do we feel that if we’re approved we’ll finally find our real self? • Why is it that anyone can look at us askew, or someone can say the smallest thing and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put us back together again! • What is the root of the endless compromise where we want to be accepted, but to be accepted we have to gain approval – and we’ll sell ourselves to get that approval, no matter how we must do it?
• Why is that even if we are actually confirmed by someone, we need two “someones” to confirm us after that? Why is it never enough? Why is it that there are there never enough possessions, never enough power, never enough authority, etc.? The root within us of our endless search for acceptance and approval is a part of us that is forever telling us that we are unacceptable as we are. Something lives in us that actually causes, by its very nature, a feeling in us that as we are, we are just not enough. And then, ironically, doing what that part of us says to do actually makes us more vulnerable. For example, perhaps you think to yourself, “I’m not enough. I need more money.” So you go out and make more money. But then maybe you lose the money you had defined yourself by, and what happens then? You go straight down. You crash. And now you have to find something new to define yourself by! We must understand that no definition of anything, including ourselves, exists without having its root in comparison. Comparison is fine when it comes to practical thought, to hot vs. cold, to knowing what route to take to get home, etc. But it isn’t right when it comes to questions like “who am I?” or “what’s my life about?” If I try to know who I am, what my true nature is, by comparing myself to some external measure, then I’ve made myself dependent on the thing I’ve compared myself to. We want to be free, and to be free means to understand what the path of freedom is really about. The path of freedom is not about winning acceptance from the world around us; in fact the path of freedom, of coming to possess our own life, cannot be gained by anything we might imagine. If we are to be free, we must begin with discovering what it is within us that causes us to see ourselves as needful of those things we now sell our souls to win. If we will agree to let go of whatever we find that binds us to the false idea that we are somehow incomplete – then freedom follows naturally. It is done for us. And we will know that Life and Liberty for which our heart longs.
About The Author
GUY FINLEY Guy Finley is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and bestselling self-help author. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for transcendent self-study located in Merlin, Oregon. To Learn More Visit: www.guyfinley.org/online