ABUSE IS A CHOICE

Domestic abuse and violence is an enormous problem in the United States. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), “On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.” In addition to verbal abuse, physical attacks range from slapping, shoving and pushing to severe physical violence such as beating, strangling, and burning.

There are many myths surrounding this plague of violence, among them:

• it’s the victim’s own fault

• why don’t they call the police?

• they should just leave

These and other domestic violence myths have one thing in common: they imply that the victim is in control. They can stop the abuse by 1.) changing their behavior; 2.) getting cops involved to stop the abuse, or;

3.) leaving.

If only it was that simple.

The kind of person who physically beats or psychologically destroys another human being is not picky. They do this in every situation where it is to their advantage to do so. Conversely, they can pour on the charm in other situations where it is to their advantage to do so.

But domestic abuse, which is, after all, a prolonged, willful, physical and verbal assault against an intimate partner, is never “deserved” by the victim.

So why don’t these people simply call the police and put an end to the abuse?

Again, it’s not that simple. The authority of police to remove someone from their own home is legally limited, and reviews of actual cases demonstrate that fact, and that in many cases violence escalated as soon as police left the home.

The fear of escalating the situation that prevents some victims from dialing 9-1-1 seems justified: A 2014 study of intimate partner homicides published in the American Journal of Public Health found that 20% of homicide victims were not the domestic violence victims themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, law enforcement, bystanders, or other persons who intervened.

What about just leaving? At the risk of redundancy, it’s a whole lot more complicated than that. As above, one study of men who killed their wives found that either threats of separation by their partner or actual separations were most often the precipitating events that lead to the murder.

So is it all completely hopeless? Not at all. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is just one of many resources offering a wealth of practical assistance. Visit thehotline.org or call (800) 799-SAFE (7997233). Another is Safe Homes of Augusta. Their contact info: (706) 736-2499 and online, www.safehomesdv.org

If you’re a victim, be assured you are not the guilty party. Escape from the situation may seem challenging, but it is possible.

WHAT IS “THE SPECTRUM”?

Once upon a time there were a number of related developmental disorders that were all diagnosed separately: autism, Rett syndrome, Asberger syndrome, and others. In 2013 the related conditions were collectively rebranded under the umbrella term autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Sometimes people diagnosed with ASD are referred to (or describe themselves as) “on the spectrum.”

ASD is diagnosed in people who may have difficulties communicating and interacting with others, who learn differently, and who may engage in repetitive, compulsive behaviors.

That word may is a key to answering the question above. Spectrum is the perfect word for this diagnosis because the variations from one person to the next can be extreme. One person diagnosed with ASD may be married and have a successful career, while the next person is non-verbal and is not (or was not) able to handle the social interactions of even a kindergarten classroom.

For that reason, “the spectrum” is a common place for confusion. Let’s say you know someone who has been diagnosed with autism, and you’re familiar with their behaviors. You might therefore view with skepticism someone else’s statement that their child is autistic because their symptoms or behaviors are completely different.

That is why it’s called a spectrum which, like refracted light, describes the gamut of various symptoms from A to Z, from one extreme to the other.

The variety also leads to self-diagnosis. To listen to parents these days, it seems like every third child has autism. That is often the result of the comparisons similar to the one described above: one parent describes their child’s behavior and diagnosis to another parent, and the second parent thinks, “That sounds just like my child.” And suddenly a new case becomes fact without the time and expense of a doctor visit.

Two more quick myths about autism and its spectrum in closing: it is not considered to be a mental health disorder; it is a neurological disorder, meaning that its cause is believed to be abnormalities in brain structure and neurotransmitter levels. Also there is no evidence linking autism to vaccinations.