BASED ON A TRUE STORY

(most of the time)

A series by Bad Billy Laveau

al’s particular religious belief (or lack thereof.)

Honesty in the media. CNN and MSNBC lean heavily to the left. Fox leans to the right. Everybody wants to be a journalist. Nobody wants to be a reporter. Just tell me what happened, and let me decide what I think.

More reporters and fewer journalists. Don’t tell me what the news means. Tell me the news and let me make up my mind without their help. Why can’t we have more Walter Cronkites and less political activists posing as agents of fair news?

Better Quality of life. It diminishes as inflation increaseds taxes. 3 years ago, I paid $3 for a pound of blueberries. ($0.37 per oz.). Recently, I paid $6 for 10 oz. ($0.60 per oz.). That is up 62%. That is bad enough, but the local 7% sales tax went from $0.21 to $0.35. That hits the rich and the poor alike.

Councilmen who don’t need OJT (On the Job Training). Remember a local councilman trying explain away his travel expense by saying: “If you don’t go you won’t know.”

People who say ma’am, sir, and please, and less people who flood the world with profanity. Afterall, profanity is a tool used when you can’t think of proper words to express your meaning.

Fewer people who are offended by everything and complain about everything.

We need happy people working to make a better world.

Leaders who entertain as they educate us. People like President Reagan. And if they can’t do that, be more like President Calvin Coolidge who said almost nothing.

Political ads that say something positive. Brother Dave Gardner said, “Tell me something you believe in. I got enough doubts of my own.”

We need more likeable cops who always solve crimes quickly, cops like Oliva on “Law & Order Special Victims Unit” or Andy Griffith and Barney Fife, or Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry (he only killed really bad guys that needed killing.). We don’t need cops smuggling drugs into jail or beating up wives and girlfriends. Criminals do more of than enough of that without cops trying to crowd them.

Comedians who entertain without ugly words. Brother Dave Gardner and Jerry Clower did not need profanity to make tears run down my face. They had more clean funny jokes than a scalded house cat has got running gears. Somehow, I am not entertained by derogatory comments about the women in my family. You can say what you want about me, I don’t care. But

I do care about our women folk. Defame my women and I will challenge you to a duel. Your choice of weapons. Toothpicks at 20 paces. Or cannons at 6 feet.

Comedians, politicians, and sane people who love America even though we are the worst country in the world … except for all the others. What other country has 10,000 people a day crashing their border to get in? People crash into good countries.

More people who adhere to the Ten Commandments regardless your religious belief. If you don’t believe in Christianity, that is fine with me. Just live by the Ten commandments. It will not harm you and will make our country safer.

Colleges that teach and promote true freedom of speech and diversity of thought. College is supposed to broaden thought, not control thought. There is something in the Constitution about that.

More jokes on the internet. Like celebrating National Buy Mom a Goat Week. A good daily laugh is a good thing.

Slow-growing and drought-resistant grass for my yard. I like a green yard, but don’t like mowing. And my Homeowners Association discriminates against goats.