Middle Age

Our Behavioral Health Mission

BY J.B. COLLUM

It has been far too long since we’ve had a new installment of our “you might be middle-aged” series. Long enough for some new entries to arise and for updates on some previous ones. So without further ado (except for our usual apologies to Jeff Foxworthy), let’s get back to it.

• If you have met your health insurance annual out-of-pocket maximum before Independence Day for the third year in a row, you might be middle-aged. Yep, that would be me once again. I’m on a roll. Of sorts.

• If you keep a cane in your car and another by your bed because you never know when you will randomly need one, you might be middle-aged. I used one to hobble to this chair to write this in fact

• If you are watching more videos on YouTube about deciding the best time for you to retire to maximize your return vs your life expectancy and less about travel to exotic places or your hobbies, you might be middle-aged. Our favorite current strategy is for my better half to retire at 62 and work part-time to stay under the cap, and for me to wait until 67, but that really depends on how my health goes. Math is never fun, but when you are calculating this kind of stuff, it can be quite macabre.

• If any of your children are starting to consider — or are already — coloring their hair to hide the gray, you might be middle-aged. Don’t tell my oldest daughter about this one.

• If you had to buy yet another, even larger, pill organizer because you needed one that had four compartments per day instead of three, you might be middle-aged. I will probably go ahead and buy a backpack to haul this thing around next, or maybe a pack mule. It’s so big, I hope the county doesn’t see it because they might charge me property tax on it.

• If you and your spouse argue daily about what the other one said because you are both now hard of hearing, you might be middle-aged. Don’t tell my wife I said that. I share it here as that is the best way for me to be sure she doesn’t know I said it because she also needs new glasses but won’t book an eye appointment. Which reminds me…

• If you and your spouse argue about getting a doctor’s appointment for some ailment one of you has been complaining vociferously about for a while, you might be middle-aged. And by the way go ahead and make that appointment.

• If half your conversations with your spouse involve you or them saying that you already talked about this subject just a few minutes ago, you might be middle-aged. It used to just be me, but lately, more often than not, it has been her. I’m not worried about her reading this because even if she gets new glasses, she never remembers to read my column.

If you see yourself in any or all of these categories, don’t fret. You are not alone. We are your fellow travelers on this great adventure on our way to our so-called golden years. So, whatever happens, take it — and your medicine — with an extra dose of humor and a heaping dose of patience and love for yourself and your friends and family. After all, you may have to count on them more than you want later and it doesn’t hurt to start buttering them up early.

J.B. Collum is a local novelist, humorist and columnist who wants to be Mark Twain when he grows up. He may be reached at johnbcollum@gmail.co

To provide individuals and families in our community with the best patient-centered mental health and chemical dependence services that respect cultural differences and foster hope, strength, self-determination, and dignity

Behavioral Health Services

Benefits of Counseling

Improved communication, problem-solving, and conflict resolution skills • Improved relationships • Ability to decrease use or refrain from using alcohol and other drugs

Our Approach

Medical Associates Plus takes an integrated approach to primary care. Our mental health/substance abuse program is results driven. We provide long-term recovery through individualized and customized mental health and addiction services to meet each patient’s goal. Our approach is to treat each patient as a whole person with the understanding of the impact of these conditions on individuals, families, and our community and society as a whole.

Our Treatment Team

Qualified, caring staff champions a common understanding of the physical, psychological, and sociological aspects of mental health and addiction. Our dedicated medical providers, psychiatrist, addiction counselor and licensed clinical social workers work closely to assist individuals to gain the skills they need to lead productive lives. We partner with our patients on their road to optimal health. The treatment team consist of the following:

Psychiatrists • Therapists • Primary Care Providers Drug & Alcohol Counselors • Nursing Staff the “Patients”

We accept most major insurances including Medicaid & Medicare. All patients are eligible to apply for our sliding fee discount, which allows you to pay a reduced cost based on your income and family size.