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MEDICAL EXAMINER recipe feature PAGE 7
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TAKE HOME T HI S C O P WITH Y Y OU !
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AIKEN-AUGUSTA’S MOST SALUBRIOUS NEWSPAPER • FOUNDED IN 2006
DECEMBER 16, 2016
Who is this man? THIS IS YOUR BRAIN A monthly series by an Augusta drug treatment professional
ENABLING FEEDBACK by Ken Wilson Executive Director, Steppingstones to Recovery Last month I promised to follow up with feedback from readers on #10 from my list of Top Ten Enabling Behaviors. I received one reply that was so articulate I wanted to share the points with you here. It was written by a recovering alcoholic with 4 years sobriety. In battle it always helps to know what the other side is planning, so what a great opportunity to hear it from the other side! He writes of his “5 Ways I Manipulated My Enabler to Enable.” 1. We make excuses for our bad behavior. In my relationship we are both in charge of specific responsibilities that are necessary to a functioning household. When I was actively drinking, things didn’t get done but our home still needed to run. My enabler was often left to pick up my slack out of necessity. Always prepared with an excuse to cover up or explain why things weren’t done, I always found a way to become “the victim.” 2. We make promises we can’t keep. I would say anything my enabler wanted to hear in order for things to remain the same. I remember when I started to spiral out of control, I would make “rules” (promises to change) for drinking: No drinking liquor on weeknights; no liquor, only wine and beer; only one drink per hour... They were endless. The sun wouldn’t set on the next day and the rules were broken. Which ties in perfectly to #3. 3. We want you to drink with us. The best offense I had going
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