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AIKEN-AUGUSTA’S MOST SALUBRIOUS NEWSPAPER • FOUNDED IN 2006 +
INTRODUCING THE MEDICAL EXAMINER’S
DECEMBER 18, 2015
Kid’s Stuff
Holiday Diet L
NOTES FROM A PEDIATRIC INTERN by Caroline Colden, M.D.
THAT’S SPLENDID & STUPENDOUS
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE AND BEST OF ALL
GUARANTEED TO WORK!
T
he award-wanting Research Division of the Medical Examiner has been working overtime here at our sprawling world headquarters campus. Their goal: find a solution to the perennial problem of holiday weight gain. “How can anyone not gain weight during the holidays?” asked many of our study volunteers, who were each rewarded for their participation with a 20 lb. Butterball turkey and an unlimited 1-year pass to the all-you-can-eat buffet at Golden Corral. But you see, it really doesn’t matter because they are all enrolled in our breakthrough Splendid and Stupendous Amazingly Simple Guaranteed to Work Holiday Diet (or SSASGWHD for short - pronounced “saz-gwood”). How does it work? What is the science behind it? How can we say it’s guaranteed to work? The iron-clad logic behind SSASGWHD We began our research by studying the holiday season itself, the Thanksgiving feast kick-off, holiday receptions, and office parties. We found that in addition to these major gastronomic holiday landmarks, dozens of
additional minor opportunities to ingest calories present themselves: the coworkers who bring in cupcakes, brownies, cookies, etc, day after day during the length of the holiday season. When everything is combined, the huge feasts and the minor snacking, it’s no wonder people overeat during the holiday season. In truth, our research team was about to give up the challenge, accept failure, return the grant money, and move on to an easier challenge, like finding a way to make preschool kids love broccoli. But then an amazing thing happened. Researchers decided to look at the basics of the Christmas holiday itself, and that led to our amazing breakthrough. We should acknowledge up front that our team didn’t discover anything that isn’t already in published literature, but they did break new ground in ways to utilize existing information. Establishing the patient’s history As it turns out, the history of Christmas offers a direct, logical path to SSASGWHD. Please see HOLIDAY DIET page 3
et’s talk about being full of it — and I don’t mean politicians. I am talking about anyone who generally is fuller of “it” than they should be, and are what we call “constipated.” This can affect people of all ages, and can be a surprisingly big problem for kids, especially around the potty-training age. What is constipation? In reality, defining bowel habits is subjective, but in general, we can say that constipation is a state in which one does not have bowel movements as frequently as desired or recommended. In general, one should strive to have bowel movements at least once every day or every other day. Constipation can occur when the transit of food through the digestive tract occurs more slowly than normal. As food travels farther along in the intestines, it eventually passes from the small to the large intestine, also known as the colon. The colon’s main job is to reabsorb water from the digesting food (now becoming more and more like stool than food) and to help maintain the body’s electrolyte balance. This is why infection or disease of the colon causes diarrhea, since water reabsorption is impaired and thus makes stool very loose. On the other hand, if food/stool sits for too long in the colon, it can become dehydrated from excessive water reabsorption, thus becoming harder and more difficult to pass. This can be painful, especially for kids, who might then react to passage of a hard stool by avoiding future bowel movements through active retention of stool. A vicious cycle is thus created, and the state of chronic constipation is born. Low fiber diets, excessive cow’s milk consumption, and family history/predisposition to constipation can all contribute to slow transit. Please see CONSTIPATION page 2